Understanding Trauma - Part 26 - Subtle Trauma Part 3

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Tim shares 3 final subtle causes of Complex Trauma - a spoiled child, a parent with anxiety issues, and unresolved guilt.
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Опубликовано:

29 сен 2024

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Комментарии : 63

@candyce6233 2 месяца назад

While listening to this one hits hard because I know I did this to my daughters when they were little. By the time I was 25 I had three babies and absolutely no clue that all that stress hurt them. Damaged them. 🥺😢 Never intentionally but I must let them know and apologize for all the times they had to sit in that back seat to my fury. I was there. I took care of all their needs but never stopping once to think of this. My lack of patience is not their fault nor was it ever their problem. Even though I never had to spank my girls bc they were honestly good kids. They listened to us and the fear of being in trouble was a bigger thing for them. Thankfully their Dad has been my husband for 25 years now and he was their rock all along. 😊

@2010lrain 2 месяца назад

This is why I love listening to Tim. He explains it so well. I've not found anyone who understands trauma as well as him. I'm grateful for his teachings and I'm realizing that most of what he says rings true for me. Slowly understanding myself.

@barbnauman705 3 месяца назад

Thank you!! I enjoy your videos very much!❤

@Locococco1 2 месяца назад

Can we still hold that “child internal world state” even when we are an adult?

@mkayokay3192 2 месяца назад

Is there any hope of raising a well adjusted child?

@MolecularMachine Месяц назад

Not under the rule of thieves. It's impossible not to be pathologically stressed when you're one illness away from losing your home

@pamelamccarthy1412 3 месяца назад

This lecture sent me off on a tangent. I wonder what damage society is causing with the gentle parenting movement.

@mancdec 3 месяца назад

Can relate.. Had a parent that was filled with worry that everything and everyone were dangerous... I always wondered why even as an adult, I feel anxious and tense in this person's presence, but not necessarily with others.

@writer1986 3 месяца назад

My husband is a very angry, depressed individual. He just learned that he’s “broken.” No matter how much I try to teach him, he doesn’t believe he’s traumatized by his parents because they gave him food, clothing and a rooftop. (But no emotional support.)

@mynameisyamell187 2 месяца назад

Man, that’s frustrating.

@b8akaratn 3 месяца назад

14:02 even with my Dad once facing a strike in the 1980s, we never were lacking in basic needs. But the emotional tyranny from my mom made it all seem worthless. What good's a roof over your head when it feels like no one wants you under it? (For me being an adoptee of another race, it managed to do double duty in me.)

@CrystalTipps 2 месяца назад

I'm so sorry you went through that 😢 we really all have such individual cards handed to us, every human experience counts ❤

@b8akaratn 2 месяца назад

@@CrystalTipps thank you😌🥹

@pulidobl 3 месяца назад

I didn’t wish my dad was dead, but he hemorrhaged at home. (There was blood all over the bathroom, sink, toilet, hallway) He Punished me and told me not to tell anyone. Next day, I saw him taken out of our home on a stretcher. A couple days later, he died. I carried that guilt for a long time that it was my fault he died. I was 4 years old☹️

@mayabythesea 3 месяца назад

I'm so sorry this happened to you, I hope you can find some comfort in time *biggest hugs*

@torio3o8 3 месяца назад

I’m sorry you suffered that burden. I hope you’re healing and loving your inner child.

@bystandersarah 2 месяца назад

Yeah that was on him. You did nothing wrong. I’m sorry you experienced that.

@junkfolder-ig8pe 2 месяца назад

God bless you

@mfetterelli 4 дня назад

@@junkfolder-ig8pekeep your imaginary friend to yourself

@mzknip 3 месяца назад

"Death by 1,000 cuts" mindfulness is the best tool we all have access to. Trauma can be subtle, and left unchecked it can fester into bigger problems in a person's life and their actions. Thanks for showing us how to understand this important connection and begin to resolve trauma.

@LeverageMedia2020 3 месяца назад

Every jest which has not been overcome in victory is a death... is a trauma... which attacks the identity of the person until they have victory in that area of loss. This is why it is complex.

@Karenanneseven Месяц назад

Dad was an alcoholic who enjoyed being sadistic…in his “fun” way. Tickling until it hurt, scaring me enough that it made me collapse or faint, telling me my breath smelt (at 7 yrs old), telling me my handwriting was messy. I am proud of myself for the work I’ve had to do to now feel 50% better at 60 yrs old & excited to get that percentage higher & higher.

@manyBlessings2all 3 месяца назад

Thank you yet again for more new & very helpful comprehension & insights

@artluvr6170 3 месяца назад

Such important yet almost never talked about information. This rings true with my experience of life.

@JeniElbedour 3 месяца назад

Yes! You gut says, "Get out'"

@communicatingtoyou 3 месяца назад

Thanks very much. Wonderful suggestion

@SuzieQGirl 3 месяца назад

So many gems to digest here. ❤ Thank you so much. I’ve spent my entire life trying to understand humans. This helps a lot.

@parrotdoesasploot2381 3 месяца назад

This is the first time someone described my family to a T.

@SuzannaLiessa 3 месяца назад

I want to note here that it isn't always the mother who is anxious. My mother was anxious, but my father was also anxious, much more anxious than my mother. It expressed itself as anger, perfectionism, and controlling behavior.

@AlitaMee 3 месяца назад

Your Friday nights are sk much better than Friday nights i used to have.

@AnnCSouthAnnie 3 месяца назад

Don’t forget adoptees. We are completely different from the parents in every way.

@TrippyKitty08 2 месяца назад

This makes sense why i go for very calm stable men. Like the kinda guys that'll fall asleep if they sit still too long. It does make me feel safe! I think when i was little the only time it was peaceful was when my parents were asleep. They were not calm people. Ever.

@Redeemed2Righteousness 3 месяца назад

You are an absolute blessing and a shining light for so many broken people!! May God bless you abundantly

@PlanetOfTheSkits 3 месяца назад

There is a fine line between love and war. There is a dance that can turn into a struggle between two people with hidden dominant traits. Love is not pretending

@mrs.kpbailey 3 месяца назад

Thank you! 🙏🏾

@tinka9291 3 месяца назад

What I find difficult is the balance of unlearning not getting what you want and the instant gratification, but then acknowledging that you are worthy of good and also “getting what you want in life” in terms of living by your terms and receiving a well existence …I suppose the rewiring of how you get it and the unhealthy techniques used along the way like manipulation are what need to be addressed? Rather than living a life where you live well is not the issue? I’m very aware so I see my wounds when my brain spots them and I’m conscious to observe how I show up in unhealthy ways to people and circumstances and myself but sometimes especially if I’m tired or get lost in the old narratives when in survival mode, I feel the child limbic system stepping up - is staying present and centreing into the loving mature adult part to listen to the inner child’s needs the way to go?

@chooselife1242 Месяц назад

I feel like I need to put more boundaries in with my daughter, before it is too late. I am struggling with so much resistance and it is hard to enforce boundaries when she has visitation with her dad every few days and comes back with attitude and having had no boundaries set at his house. It is unreal how frustrating it all is.

@kevintswi 3 месяца назад

This guy has serious theological issues! By trying to reach out to the secular world, he subverts the Gospel and power of God to heal as well as the power of sin to destroy.

@julianderitu4114 2 месяца назад

He thinks masturbation and beastiality are harmless. The highest level of deception.

@halimekaya9906 3 месяца назад

Thank you

@thiscorner102 2 месяца назад

What do we do as parents that are healing. I’m anxious and working on it in therapy but I also have a 6 year old

@HeatherGonzales-ul1zl 3 месяца назад

All the behaviors you listed that are done in childhood their is nothing to anyone for. It's all false guilt. That needs to be understood!

@rafeeqwarfield9690 2 месяца назад

Tremendous work

@Whosoever141 3 месяца назад

Sure wish I had heard this years ago. At 38 I’ve finally destroyed everything good in my life and checking out is really the only way I can see to fix it

@martinakorinkova5746 3 месяца назад

Thank you. It’s all about myself my ex husband and our daughter. I don’t know how to get it fixed. I’ve taken this behavior from my mother always being anxious fearful about everything. Passed it on my daughter and moreover to make it up for her because I felt something is wrong with all of us raising her spoiled child.😢

@starbright1400 3 месяца назад

Brilliant work, thousands all over the world have been helped by you Tim including this shy reserved Australian

@NafaelRadalBeats 3 месяца назад

This was very helpful. Thanks so much for your work 🙏

@JumpRopeQueen 2 месяца назад

This video has changed my life❤

@OliviaHacking-kf7px 3 месяца назад

Bill Gates in a nutshell !

@thegamerfrominside 3 месяца назад

On the road agin.

@HeatherGonzales-ul1zl 3 месяца назад

Nothing to atone for!

@saraann918 2 месяца назад

Profound

@MatthewReturns 3 месяца назад

My dad in one video

@ruebug3663 3 месяца назад

i can't take it anymore, this sv c s too much not matter how much i try to understand to study to calm myself to wtvrtfIsupposed to do

@Prudenthermit 3 месяца назад

Dialectical behavioral therapy has some tools for emotion regulation & distress tolerance that you may or may not find helpful ❤ some people have uploaded the workbook information here to youtube for free 🙏🏻 hoping the best for you and wishing you well