Understanding Trauma - Part 3 - Results of Shame 

Extremely powerful. These videos should be shown in schools.

Tim is so knowledgeable about trauma and shame. I feel like he's teaching me a PhD on these subjects.

People have abused me all my life and now everyone criticizes me that I'm "negative." people don't usually develop a sunny disposition from decades of abuse. So this is a catch 22 it seems.

At last someone who definitely knows what he's talking about. This guy is extremely intelligent and detailed. Glad that he's giving this great presentation.

This brings my whole life full circle. Its makes so much sense. Its too bad a very small percentage are self aware, the majority of people will never wake up to this. So powerful.

So deep. So incredibly deep. Its so great to be able to listen to stuff about childhood trauma and actually be able to listen instead of getting triggered by trauma and escaping into fantasy and thoughts the whole time.

I recognize so many people from these descriptions. So sad that they don't have a clue. I wish this was presented to every high school class in the world.

This man is a genius. He can talk for hours, no notes, no podium wow

I live in a constant state of shame. Seventy one years old, and it still grabs me by the throat and shakes me hard.

This is life-saving material. Thank you so much for normalising shame, its effects and the healing required. This video itself reduces feelings of shame.

I’m all three perfectionist, people pleaser and procrastinator.

This is an excellent series. The seven mountains of influence in our society need to hear this entire series.

This guy should have millions of views

"Welcome to getting wrecked with Tim on Friday nite" 😂 appreciate your work kind sir.

(I wish I wasn’t the way I’m) I told my self that sentence for thousands of times in my 25 years of living and I’m so thankful I could change even abit thank you lot sir your videos are extremely helpful ❤

The step mentioned at 42 mins about stopping it before it progresses is EXTREMELY important and also EXTREMELY difficult. Not impossible, but really hard.

I’m grateful to have found you. I connect too much to deep shame and didn’t know I had deep shame. Mind blowing. Mahalo

I’m eternally grateful for your support and service!!!! You are helping me understand how at 43 years of being unconscious to who I am today as a human being and addict attempting to get and stay sober as well as deepen my relationship with my Higher Power! Thank you and God bless you and yours!!!!

This is so foundational for deep healing. Thank u.❤

These videos have been so informative and it helps to understand what's going on and why we act and feel the ways we do. A point that stood out for me is don't try to be authentic with unsafe people. That makes so much sense. I appreciate Tim sharing his knowledge 🙏

Why is hurting/disappointing other people so truly terrifying for me? I would go above and beyond to avoid hurting someone's feelings even if it means to not put up proper boundaries for myself..

Aha...now I get it! I had to watch this three times to experience this! I now understand the core of my shame and will guide it through in how God sees us all. I bring understanding with compassion. Shame has carried so much pain and abuse. It deserves love. It served its purpose and did a great job doing what it could to make me a better person with how it thought it could. Today, I hold it close to my heart and accept a new way to be together - with respect and compassion. I see it now, after the session with my coach, the inner child workshop and now, after hearing your words, Pastor Tim! What a beautiful moment, what a wonderful experience - thank you for this! Wow

Thank you so much for the work that you do. Your videos have helped me so much in the past few weeks, I have NEVER been able to find any therapist or anyone who is this educated and genuine. I can feel how much you care about helping others and it I am very moved by that. We need more people in the world like you, thank you sir

My God...a lot just suddenly clicked. I'm almost in tears...

This has been me my entire life. Its too late for this to help me now

This man is literally changing my life! Every single series I listen to, just helps me unwire my brain little by little. It seems like I am not alone, I was never alone what I felt is a real thing. Thank you from the bottom of my heart and keep doing this amazing work. We all are sending you best wishes

This is helping me understand myself and my children 😢

Welcome to "Getting wrecked with Tim on Friday night" 😂 wonderful video!!

These talks are definitely huge eye openers and I believe they are useful to all kind of people.

The best psychology lecture series I've ever seen ❤

Tim! I can't thank you enough. I have always been busy growing in my personal growth and healing yet the way and method you explained trauma and shame puts everything into a crystal clear perspective. Listening to you already changed my cognitive understanding and I'm very confident this will transform my life and relationship. So grateful for your work 💚

Incredibly accurate, insightful, and powerful. I'm sure you are helping many thousands of people. Thank you!

One of the best speakers on CPSTD, if not the best. I've learned so much.

Wow, this is lot of information about Shame in just one session amazing 👏.

I love this so much, these concepts. I def shared these to my two adult babies. Peace be with you.

Wow! You just described my previous relationship almost word for word.

I feel exatraordinary gratitude towards what you do here. It is like the time when Jesus came to a blind man and commend him to see and the man strated to see. I feel just the same listening to you. Crying, overwhelmed, feeling sorry for myself and my kids, sometimes hopeful, but anyway, finally SEEING...

This guy is the answer to all my life questions! And yes…I would love to be a part of a programme to teach that at schools in UK! Thank you and love you Tim! 🫶

I stumbled across this channel a few days ago. They have been eye opening. Right now these videos are my emotional lifeline. Sounds dramatic but its true. Thank you so much for these recordings.

This is real Gold! God bless you sir!

The tools to do something positive to free yourself from built in shame. Messy process but you can reduce triggers and change behaviours. Excellent!❤

Thank you so much Tim, you really are a wonderful human being.

WOW! Another revelation! Thank you Pastor Tim!

Its so tragic. It makes me wonder about my mom because she says she has no sense of self. While i have a very clear sense of self, but was raised on such a way where me being authentic was shameful. I never got the help i needed when i faced a traumatic event my family os very critical of me the person who faced abuse and instead of getting help for it i was neglected. I don't trust anyone not even myself

Scapegoat here. Distance and healing is my only solution

I am slowly working my way through these from the start having come across one from much later in the series. So good & helpful. Thank you.

Yep. Just realised my generalised anxiety is …. My inner child crying for connection (as HIMSELF). Yep, I’m trying to connect with people all the time… as myself (because I could “sort of connect” through my persona). That criticism from parents, comes from their hidden intentions of possessing you (as they want you to be).

hes describing me at age 47, i started this stuff when i was 8 years old

Thank you very much for sharing such valuable knowledge about trauma.

Thank you!! It is very life changing.❤

😮😮😮😢😢😢 This is so spot, he is telling my life. Tim is by far the best teacher on trauma and its impact.

Well my word .. what an education of how I got where I am ! Grateful to hear all this as difficult as it is . Thank you Sir !

Awareness is a great! So are somatic therapies and/or therapy assisted psychedelic approaches so we can heal our minds.

I feel like scapegoats should be able to sue or get reparations for carrying all the family's pain how are we expected to be normal adults after living a nightmare

OMG...he's been in my head rummaging around! This stuff is freakishly accurate.

Thank you Mr. Tim Fletcher for your amazing videos and for sharing your work and knowledge. (Larisa/ Romania)

This is the answer to so many prayers! Thank you!

A shattered mirror with a built in radio stuck on search mode that stops and plays randomly sometimes in different languages and other times just static.

Thanks @Tim Fletcher. Your insights have helped me better understand my own thoughts and emotions, as well as those of the people who are important to me but arrogant and abusive. While the past cannot be changed, it still profoundly has impacted my present and future. Revisiting past experiences and memories helps me better understand myself and the world around me. Through this process, I can uncover the truth and break free from the illusions created by those around me. These illusions come from a variety of sources, such as loved ones who have intentionally or unintentionally misled me, educational institutions and textbooks that have presented a one-sided view of history, movies and other media that might have perpetuated stereotypes, and cultural and religious norms that have restricted my thinking. Additionally, spiritual figures and communities created illusions by promoting certain beliefs and practices that didn't align with my values or beliefs. By examining my past experiences and questioning the illusions presented to me, I can better understand myself and the world around me and move forward with a greater sense of clarity and purpose.

I love you. I have been doing therapy for years and this puts everything into a structure with such great detail that I can understand

Really enjoyed listening to this video on healing shame and intrinsic value-- I know this to be a major issue in my life and this causes me to feel like I want to hide or extremely shameful and blocked/anxious when connecting with people and especially when I get the vibe some won't be accepting and will be judgmental or rejecting if I show my true self or express myself naturally or if I make mistakes and do or say something wrong or that they don't agree with and I can totally agree that this is what happens when we're shame based parented. Really loved to be reminded that despite what I believe about myself or what I have done in the past, I do have intrinsic value just as everyone else and that feels very liberating in itself! Thank you again!

Thank you so much for this insight to the trauma that has affected my entire life; since childhood. Thank you and God bless.

This is so powerful and so true !

This is the best and most fruitful definition of codependency I every heard Codependency is how 2 shame based people relate to each other - the dance of 2 people trying to avoid the others pain and at the same time trying to get fullfilled their needs. Without revealing who they really are! Nailed it and i can 100% to it from all codependent relationships i was in so far. And can see it now perfectly in the relationships of my parents and all my siblings 😮

Tremendously helpful, I have been searching for sufficient information for years. You have answered all my questions. Lots of aha moments. Words are not enough to thank you 🙏 ❤🌹

Thank you, great information that clarifies how we get our needs met from shame mind frame. Some I was aware of but some of it I wasn't. Very well presented. 💖

Everything you said hits home! Especially the wanting of a child to feel loved, that’s exactly why I prayed and asked for my son, and though he is a major blessing it definitely created more trauma 😢. Thank you for your teachings

Every part I am watching I am growing more gratefulness to you giving this life changing information to people for free. Thank you thank you thank you!

I so needed to hear this.... Thank you

This information is so powerful. ❤❤

I could look at other ppl. And see this, but most I see me… right now that’s what I need.

Very insightful, thank you !

Hola chicos. Started just watching these, then realized how good they are. Went back just to take notes and screen caps!

Tim - you are the absolute Best! 💯. I learn soo much from you. You explain it all soo soo well. It’s a gift you have! Thank you. Thank you! 🙏 ❤

Great video - thank you for all work you are doing

Thank you ❤fantastic video. This will help me brake down some barriers inside my own head stuff.

As abused children we blame ourselves for the victimhood, only as adults can we see we weren't the bad guy. Working through this right now and hope to be free from this old shame soon its a weighted burden on the soul.

Thank you. Upon watching many of your videos a release of emotions i didnt even know i was hiding away.

Super important to know. I operated out of shame all my life until I had a psychic change. I drank and used until I was at death's door, thank the Lord I started working on myself odaat!

This is so true. All of it. It is something I learned through spiritual practice, but always love to hear about psychology cause they describe different parts of the same phenomenons usually.

Thank you for these videos.

Wow… this man is speaking my whole life in his talk. Rude of him to use my life and not ask for consent first 😂

Thank you so much ❤

I was the scapegoat as a child and again, the scapegoat as an adult going through divorce and child custody, which continues to this day with my adult children still blaming me for things wrong with their life. I feel as though non of my children, or grandchildren(now adults with their own children) really know me at all. I've worn my mask my entire life, and was always in rebellion. I'm 76 years old, I need to find the real authentic me.

Thank you so much.

THANK YOU ❤

I'm very honest with people and I'm still more or less friendless so I show my happy self

I am the perfect child but I am still criticised and abused and that's why I set boundaries Nd also stopped trying to be perfect learning to accept myself and focus on good enough improvement and saying no

Thank you for explaining all this so well. Ive caught a couple videos with bible examples at the end. I like how youre making this for everyone because trauma happens to anyone. Im working through my own trauma so it helps to know exactly where my behavior has come from. Now how to fix this after 52 years of carring all this baggage.

Your caring heart and experience and education, is helping people figure out what is going on in their lives not many people with the proper credentials that really care about people with addiction we normally get judged and pushed to the bottom or trash pile I want to thank you so very much for caring and doing what you do I am now almost 60 years old and my whole family has been struggling all of our lives with trying to be the best we can be but there is something that interferes I live in Kentucky and I was wondering if you know how I can get to someone that understands complex trauma in a holistic approach so my family and my self can begin the healing process

I have lived behind a mask for so long I don't know which part of me is the mask in which part is authentic. Even if I don't need to lie,I feel the need to lie about something. It's like if I tell the truth the world will end.

What i understoof is being a seed size family can be blessing as well , on major realm i aggree with my teacher , what a massive family mass 🎉🎉

how to heal from an entire lifetime of trauma and rage and grief?

sadness and grief and longing and aching and misery and nostalgia: flood me. my heart literally physically hurts. HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO ME? HOW AND WHY? he doesn't miss me? I'm that easy to replace? I'M THAT EASY TO BE THIS CRUEL TO? I don't deserve a goodbye nor an explanation? our connection and friendship wasn't real? I AM STUCK IN FREEZE (mostly, perpetually). my heart is so heavy. the grief; the ache; the longing. I miss him. I needed him. I miss our connection. HOW THE FUCK COULD HE ACTUALLY REALLY DO THIS TO ME? One day we're talking all day, every day, the next, we're complete strangers. I die inside. PANIC PANIC PANIC AND. SO. MUCH. GRIEF!! I truly die inside. The pain is unbearable. I am dizzy with grief. Truly unimaginable darkness. DEBILITATING PARALYZING PANIC... I wish to die. I have severe PTSD. the person whom I thought was my best friend, gave me this PTSD. he raped me. on a soul level. he viciously brutally violently maliciously raped my soul. ghosted me. discarded me like garbage. replaced me for another. (STUPID SICK MOTHER FUCKING ASSHOLE, HE IS!!) I feel the PTSD in my body. I am drowning in darkness. I'm in hell with no escape. I face every moment of every day: with utter dread and sheer terror. so... as an act of my own free will... I choose to release and detach all vibrations and frequencies that do not serve my highest good. I responsibly cut all cords from all people in my past, and declare and command their energy to no longer have access to the sacred parts of my being! I release and send back their energy to them with the purest intent. I call back my energy from their sacred space. I command this all, for my inner healing and for my inner peace. IN JESUS' PRECIOUS HOLY MIGHTY POWERFUL NAME, I DECLARE, IT IS SO! I am embracing the light within my soul. I forgive therefore I am forgiven. I love therefore I receive love. And so it is. NOTES TO SELF: - work on yourself - heal yourself - purify, release, cleanse, attract - be independent; fall in love with you - radiate magical energy - develop a sense of mystery and safety and astonishment - visualize wishes fulfilled (COMMAND and FEEL) - live your life on purpose ❤ - Radical Honesty = EASY (if you're not afraid of losing something) Thank you Heavenly Father ❤ Thank you Universe ❤ Thank you God❤ Thank you Gurus❤ Thank you Angels❤ Thank you Ancestors ❤ Thank you Divine Spirit ❤ Thank you Mother Earth ❤

To be honest I hate myself. I have fucked up. I haven't taken the responsibility for myself. I have lived my life to serve and help others because that is all I know. Finding a reason to live without doing that I am lost. I love seeing the joy I bring to others in need then for them to become autonomous. But I can't help, become autonomous myself 😢or soothe myself. Without others I'm nothing. What I wrote to myself today is: If only I were different I am failing myself every day I feel like a looser I'm not good enough I am not enough I am a failure of myself I don't function properly I have no discipline I take no responsibility for my life I don't like myself I'm not self-sufficient I am a failure I have no reason to stay alive I only exist to help others but I don't live I hide as much as I can and only come alive when someone needs me So that's how I feel.

Ooh, d*mn. This has me almost tearing up over here. Give me more of this external validation! Lol

I had to say No to involvement in activities at church...had no family assisting me with my son...with my day to day plus "added tasks". Its not kind to myself to be overextended. I could see the Lack of comsideration related to family, home mgmt. I cd not fulfil the expectations to such a high degree.

I am the invisible child

My inner critic sentenced me to death. Over and over and over, again.

Just. Wow.