Unhealthy Attachment Fueled by Codependency, Trauma Bonding 

Better no relationship than an unhealthy one like this...

Anna,round of applause. You pulled no punches. I was like, "Here's another expensive " guru" to sell expensive "solutions". You proved me wrong.

"You put your shoes on and you go." Absolutely. Well said!

My heart broke when she read and I summarize: "I have narcissistic parents, but they try" Lady, I'm afraid narcs don't try.

Wow! Just those words of extreme violence (wanting to beat you to death in your sleep) are a huge red flag...run girl run!!!

I’m an anxious preoccupied attached male with codependency. Really have done a great job working on healing it and not reacting to it. Was with a fearful avoidant attached woman whom was like a drug to me. That hot and cold stuff drove me nuts. Had my brain all screwed up and I walked away. Now I’ve got the grief. This stuff is very real 😢

I had a one-sided love affair at one point in my life and I would not recommend it at all. I also would never do it again. What we have here is someone who knows how to feel empathetic and someone who is cold to the bone. That's the problem with sweet people. They can easily be blamed and shamed into submission by this type of user abuser. I have walked in the same shoes as this lady. For 16 years I was made to feel like nothing and thought he was right. It's taken 4 years to feel worthy again. At this time of my life, I would never put up with meanness ever again.

I tried to get an alcoholic sober too. I tried for 4 months until I realized it was futile. I left his home. He contacted me a couple of months later asking me to meet him bc he was sober. I was thrilled for him and met him for coffee. He told me he was on antidepressants but I could feel the rage inside of him. He asked me if we could date bc he was sober now. I couldn’t do it. It felt like he just got sober bc he resented me for leaving him bc of his alcoholism. But I tried everything! Really, even when he was sober, it was very obvious he did not want to be sober.

When can we all come together and agree that no one should ever be left behind when it comes to lifelong damage from an unfortunate family history?

If she is reading our comments, being a person that was there in a similar dream like state, when my Son helped me escape, my Son( 40 years old) was shocked at my over the top, dangerous compassion that I was displaying, in society. When I worked through it, I look back and now am shocked that I was that person. It was like I was projecting my feelings of a cruel world out into the world and helping all kinds of street people etc. At first, I was confused, after all isn't being an empathic person a good thing? What a struggle my children had to help me see the danger that I was putting myself in. Maybe, using your obvious rescue fixation, in a more safe and reasonable manner, can be explored. As a young girl, I was a Candy Striper, and worked in a hospital for dying children, would come home and cry and cry. Somehow, it was in me from the start.

I spent so much wasted time fighting for my families conditional love and tolerance rather than acceptance, that's what I recognized in others and sought in partners-then was miserable! I'm thankfully building an intolerance to my codependent fixing and people pleasing! Whoot wooo!

Anna, I just can't tell you enough how grateful I am for these videos. I've watched hundreds of them now. You've given me more insight into what's been going on with me for forty-some years and how to move through it more than any therapist, psychiatrist, has ever been able to. Everyone in my life has heard me say, "Well, Anna, the Crappy Childhood Fairy said..." 😆❤ So, thank you, thank you, thank you!

"Casey" Please get out of that space. Nothing ends well with someone who have too much struggles and addiction to substance to cope with their internal turmoil. I was physically assaulted by my ex partner after I was struggling with making ends meet with our small little business at his apartment and I was trying to find opportunities to leave that very toxic and overly codependent relationship. He took drugs, severely depressed and diagnosed with bipolar - while he was the brainchild of the business we were once in, I was the arms and legs. My desire to leave him was hindered because I owed him money I couldn't pay off due to my terrible financial position and my parents do not know of our interracial relationship. I had an avoidant/anxiously attachment style with bad codependency issues and a desire to be the hero and save people out of the depths beyond my capacity and control. One day I decided and said to him angrily, that's it I'm done. I packed up little amount of things I could get with my travelling backpack and walked out of his house. I can understand where you're coming from - that saving someone from their miseries is the only thing you knew to get the love your parents couldn't give you as a child when they're emotionally unavailable and neglected you emotionally. Looking back, I'm proud of myself for deciding to put my foot down on this guy who told me I can't ever save him from his crippling depression and I'm not responsible for his recovery and health. I told myself that he is completely in control of his life, not me. Healthy people don't need to heal another healthy person.

this letter made me realize that codependence is a deadly disease

Mine said "you bring color to my life" and then was so indifferent to me. Then hid me from everyone, and when we had online avatars, called me his "lover". I'm not doing that again, he was my 4th relationship. I've wasted over 20 years on crap. Time for me to spend time on me and respect myself and dedicate myself to God. I am so livid rn and the anger is what's propelling me to improve.

Alanon is an awesome resource. It kept me sane while I figured out life with a recovering alcoholic. I encourage anyone who has a partner who drinks or is an addict to check it out for at least 6 weeks. It was key in helping me to understand how an alcoholics mind works. I saw that I was doing things that made my boyfriends recovery harder and I was making myself crazy. I didn’t end up staying with the alcoholic but I still carry many of those lessons with me.

I stifled and hid, I repressed feeling and as a result , I developed a autoimmune disorder ,seizures, and skin lesions, cptsd.

Wow this was the direct, no nonsense response that many of us need to hear yet are never told.....until Anna. TY Anna 🙏

Thank you Anna, I needed to hear this today. I love how you deliver the things you are teaching, it’s the perfect balance of compassion and blunt honesty. I think I need to reach acceptance that the relationship I’ve poured into for 6 years has been largely based on me hanging onto the potential of what I believe it could be rather than the reality. If only he could learn to communicate better, if only he could show his love consistently without withdrawing…I’m clinging on to a fantasy of what could be ‘if…’ I need to get real and let go.

Thank you, Fairy. This is tough to hear but it's hitting home for me. I have a mandate to heal. Out of intimate relationships (twice divorced) and facing the reality of my trauma-based existence this time with the tools of truth and grace.

God will remove all your sadness and pain soon praise God praying for everyone everyday God bless you all

Dear Casey - get out before he kills you. Get help. I have been there too. The longer you stay - the more your mind will be destroyed. GET OUT girl. Right now - do as Fairy says, you cant trust your own feelings right now. Best wishes from me.

Man this sounds like the relationship I just got out of!!! Man, this is crazy this truly did a number on me and now I'm trying to get myself together again, hopefully she can come through too

I just had some laughs with this one- in a good way. At 13:12 "Those are codependent production lines." Hah! At 13:22 "You haven't saved him, and you've done a terrible job of saving him. He's a mess. You're doing a terrible job! So, it's good. You can quit your job now!" I had the "job" of keeping my family together as a child when my mentally ill, codependent mother, narcissistic father, and abusive sister were playing their dysfunctional roles. I laugh at "You can quit your job now!" due to a reminder of the relief I am experiencing being in no contact and healing. Thank you for your compassion and understanding in all your videos.

When someone tells you the horrible thing that they want to do to you - "I want to beat you to death in your sleep" - believe them, get out of there and go no contact!

Fairy I need you! I'm in a crisis. I feel like there's a million things I need to work on but it will take years and years and years to work through everything. The world is moving on by while I'm just trying to become the bare minimum functioning person. I want to get married. But I can't bare to even think about subjecting someone else to all my problems. I did it once and then panic let her go even though I think she liked me back. Now I'm bed-ridden with limerence for her with so much yearning to check if she's okay and still not hurting after what I did to her. Somebody please say the right words to just keep me around longer until this wave passes Edit: I'm okay, for anyone that read. Looks like I'm lacking in serotonin but God sent someone who I ended up chatting with for a few hours. I hadn't spoken to them in 8 years but they just appeared.

Thank you. I needed this right now. Thank you for all your RU-vid content. I'm starting to see hope in how I can show up as me. So terrifying. Thank you for being here and speaking so honestly and literall. ❤

So grateful for this letter and these words. They so perfectly discribe what I used to feel in my abusive relationship which is over now. Listening to Anna reading this letter, I kind of realised, me worrying about my ex husband when Im not there to kind of nurse him (give him a kiss etc when "he might needs it"), all the time it MY OWN INNER CHILD I WAS HEARING CRYING OUT FOR LOVE AND ATTENTION. Thank for another fantastic video, Anna, thank you writing-Lady for your honest and brilliant words. It got me and brought me a huge step further. Take good care and please keep doing what you're doing, Crappie Childhood fairy. Best wishes from Germany 😊🙏

Oh wow, that first letter. Always baffles my mind how people who write something like this, do not hear themselves? I'm glad I'm fucked up in different ways, lol, because this sounds terrible, not to mention dangerous. I used to be co-dependent, and due to my life circumstances (that I have chosen to accept) I still sort of am because I chose to stay and not leave; but ladies can I tell you the breath of fresh air you get, the freedom and happiness you feel when a person turns up, loves you, sees you, appreciates you without you having to jump through loops... you will realise that until that moment you have never lived.

I realize after 5 kids with a woman with narcissistic tendencies, that I'm extremely codependent, people pleasing and trauma bonded. My eyes have opened after she recently admitted to cheating many many times. I want and know I need to get out. It's hard and I feel like it's too late. I'm screwed😢

If you think you can you can, and I believe you can! Love yourself.Remember God our Creator says that you were beautifully and wonderfully made! You are going to heal, you are enough! Hugs. Thank you Anna , you are God sent! Blessings!❤️

This man sounds mental. She needs to cut ties for her own sanity. Her empathy is at a self wounding level.

I tolerated a three years on off relationship, then finally put a boundary. I was not seeing this person for one year... Then my mother died and in a weak and desperate moment, I wrote him and of course he immediately called me back and a few days later he came back.. He was there with me for the funeral etc and for four months I was in the "on /off nightmare" again. My friends weren't happy to see him again. But I convinced /lied that now everything is different. In a way nothing has changed, he wasn't sure, sometimes yes, then no. It took me four months(!) to finally block him and cut him out completely. The painful reality is, if I am completely honest with me, I already knew after three weeks, that it's wrong where I got myself into again, bc I was feeling terrible again, I felt upset most of the time and crying, with inbetween him being the most charming and caring man only to withdraw again and find reasons why he can't commit to me and only wants to meet me alone and with no shared social life.. In a way he helped me in my grief, but in a way he made my life miserable as well. Needless to say, that my mother never was a safe place for me and she was more away than there for me.. My therapist said, I was trying to reenacting my childhood and heal myself. I don't know. I know that I can't heal myself with an emotional unavailable man. My mother was very dismissive and abusive and manipulative. I was just so sad and lonely because her death was so sudden and she died a very ugly and painful death.. Despite the fact that I didn't have had a good relationship with her, it broke my heart to see her like that in the hospital. In somehow I went back to the crumbs that this man could offer me, bc I was used to this kind of treatment since childhood, because it was better than nothing. Now that I am more stable again, I was able to leave. I can clearly see my part in this drama I got myself into again with him.. And it took me four months as well to realize that my mom can't hurt me anymore. She's dead. Finally. She can't hurt me anymore. She was never a safe place for me. Once I realized that, I was able to leave this man as well, he can't hurt me anymore.

If this is any consolation to her,he is beyond saving no matter what she does ..

Picture ordering a gift from your favorite store. Inside the gift box, you ordered three things, respect, love, and kidness. But when you open the box it's empty. What will you need to do with the box? So you hold on to the box hoping if you check back next week, next year, 5 years later, and for some over your hoping that respect, kidness,love will be in there. One has to eventually accept that there is nothing in the box. Acceptance is your only life vest. Throw out the box. It wont be easy but theres no other option. What you need is simply not there.😢

Only a few minutes in and this letter reminds me of the dialogue between my ex and I. This letter seems to be more about your issues rather than his. Your why to continue to find a reason to accept his behavior. I would ask a question to you that I had to ask myself, which is not why does he do the things that he does rather than why do you accept it? I wasted ALOT of years in that cycle(sigh)....

Yes! I use to be Trauma bond to the person who gave birth to me. I feel free. My love came from my Grandmother ❤. Thank you for your priceless videos 💗🙏🌞🌻🌹

She can't fix this man who show's her no care or respect. She is making it all about him, he is manipulating and controlling her. He is responsible for himself, she is not. Using her as his scapegoat. Hope she takes your advice and leaves, and doesn't go back. Do hope she stays strong,bless her. She doesn't deserve what she's going through. Sending her a big hug hope she will find strength and peace. 🕊️👍

I had an alcoholic boyfriend who I broke off contact with. I had begun Al-Anon and worked with a Sponcer. He ended up jumping in front of a train and was killed. I was devastated and thought that I should have been there to save him. My Sponcer said, "No! If you had been with him at the train tracks, you would have pulled him off the track, and then you would have been killed, and he would have lived.!"

I'm only 24, my ex boyfriend tried to kill himself in front of me 3 times during our arguments. The relationship triggered him back into depression. I wanted to make it work but it was very dangerous for both of us. I fell back into depression with him, the worst year of my life, very traumatic, even though it was the most beautiful love I knew, since I've never let anyone that close.

Urgent emergency Please join me in prayer for all those affected children families animals state of emergency devastating tornado in Oklahoma they desperately need your prayers please pray for them God bless you all 🙏🙌

Man i so relate to the 2nd story, hot cold madness! the addiction to her and the trauma bond, then the final end and i am a mess of pain and yep she was probably attaching to someone else. end result is me in pain alone.

Begin with AlAnon. Get a sponsor. Save nickles, dimes to use should you get strong enough to leave.

Oh man, Ms. Fairy, you are such a wonderful blessing!! 🧚

You're so incredibly empathetic, sympathetic and wise, your words felt like they calmed my troubled mind at the moment, thank you.

I enjoy these videos with multiple letters with similar struggles.

Anna, with the 1st letter you've described more than one of my past relationships (minus drugs/alcoholism, although outbursts & fits of rage can be similar). This is narcissistic abuse if I've ever seen it. I'm still learning more & more about codependency, thanks to you. If only I'd known this 20+ yrs ago! Thanks for being here!❤

This is my story to the T except replace alcoholic with serial cheater. Thank you for sharing gently with the steps needed to break free for good.

I have watched so many of your videos but this one was exactly what I needed. I don't know you but I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I agree she needs to care for herself first.. She has been through so much that she deserves the best life has to offer... As a single or with a healthy mate..

This sounds like every intimate relationship I’ve ever had! Especially the one with my sons father!!

Anna, dear Fairy, thank God you survived all of your terrible struggle and are happy and are now saving us from ourselves ❤️ May Lord help you.

How do I support him is equivalent to asking how do I enable him ? It is no different than enabling a drug addict or enabling a murderer.... Helping that guy means helping an abuser to keep abusing = enabling abuse.. We are used to thinking that abuse is bad for others but ok for ourselves. Wrong! That's double standards! We should treat ourselves the way we treat others, which is HELP AND CARE AND NEVER ABUSE. So do it yourself: help, care and never abuse.

Excellent! I can see how far I've come. Don't look back!

I FOUND YOUR CHANNEL ON UTUBE TODAY AND WATCHED A FEW *** HAVING UNRESOLVED CHILDHOOD TRAUMA WITH A NARCISSISTIC MOTHER *** AND MY SEARCH FOR THAT IDEAL ELUSIVE LOVE *** I LISTENED TO YOU READ THE LETTERS *** AND MY HEART JUST BREAK'S WITH SOME OF THE SIMILARITIES I'VE SHARED WITH SOME OF THESE FOLK'S *** AND EVEN ADMIRED THE ADVICE YOU HAVE GIVEN *** THAT ALONE IS WHY YOU HAVE EARNED YOURSELF A NEW SUBSCRIBER ❣️❣️❣️ THANK YOU ❣️🙏❣️

if you think this is extreme i am actually afraid to write in to you

I've come to learn the hard way, my 89 yr old mum i care for has massive abandonment wounds, is a child of an abusive alcoholic and is very codependent. 💔

I enjoy listening to you. thank you.

thank you for this video - i know I am a codependent and to me it feels like a disease and doesnt feel good to be this way - to me it feels that the only way i can get a sense of meaning, significance and value/worth is by saving or helping someone else and fixing them or trying to get them to see that they need to change or heal and improve...meanwhile completely ignoring my own needs. I Could so relate to everything that was said from the video and appreciate being told what the truth and reality is of being this way. thank you!

Anna, Your address to the writer was lovingly brutal. It made my heart pound, pound for her AND you.

Why are you even dealing with this guy? He is hurting you! Please care for yourself!

Asking yourself what a respectful, mutually caring relationship would feel like. Every time he is affecting your peace of mind, he pushes you down. Self-respect will build sef esteem.

My friend who is a couple of years younger than me, keeps getting into relationships with men who are so mean spirited and difficult to deal with. I've noticed that they always last about 2 years and end in such a toxic manner. But what baffles me is that the men look similar to her father or brother? She seems to have type and I don't know how to advise her about it! 😢😮

There is so much in your videos. Sometimes I go for a week or two before I watch another one. It's too real, too painful to realize the truth in what you say. You are so caring yet to the point. EVERYONE OF YOUR VIDEOS HURTS BUT HEAL. At the same time is as if you read my mail. I am thankful for you, the truth and reality of your knowledge. Thank you from my heart! Thank you for confronting painful realities.

Anna , I was in a relationship with alcohol for 5 years and I damaged so much. I held on just like you. I felt like good soldier going into battle for just could of days of some so call love bombing then to have the brutality cut short by his addiction over and over. I am daughter of an abusive alcoholic as well. It will get worse and worse. My mom finally life my dad when i was 15 and we left with one bang of clothing jn the middle of the night to domestic violence shelter. I believe if we had stayed he would have probably hurt to the point she would be here today. Please consider going to emergency shelter. So many people will help you.. You deserve a life of happiness ❤ sending you so many hungs.

I got hooked like this. 18 years ago, it's been a harsh struggle. She had this fantasy of making life in the snow. Well recently she admitted it was her favorite event before me with her kids father.

I went to a counselor and asked, "I want you to teach me what to do so that my boyfriend will stop hitting me."

I am at 9:19 mins into your vid - where you are speculating as to whether this is "real, or not"? As you read her letter ~ I can relate ON REPEAT to her empathy FOR her ex. Not only am I experiencing SAME now with my "fresh ex" ( whom I have blocked 2 plus mths ago) - but he can leave vmails despite being blocked on my 2015 samsung....🤔 So, I have been getting several vmails a week lately & what do I feel? Guilt. This is a man who kicked in the door of my wee cabin to retrieve gifts he had dropped before christmas for me - that at one point he felt I no longer deserved. So YAH. I ENTIRELY GET this womans story - sadly on repeat, for he is NOT the first to pull the self harm, bullying, gaslighting, the whole gamut of narc traits WILL REPEAT UNTIL we CHOOSE OURSELVES ABOVE ANYONE, ELSE. Keep watching this channel, stay "switched on", hon... you got this. 💪💪🌌❤🌌🤗❤🤘💪

Oh my gosh!!! You just described something i believed was so unique to me; the terror that no one seems to understand.

This was scarily similar to my situation. But i married him. He was an addict and I thought i could love him back to health. Eventually I had to get out for my safety and sanity. I attended al annon meeting for myself then an AA meeting to learn more compassion for my addicted husband. I tried to return on the 6th day and he had overdosed and passed away 😢 I wish I had found your channel before this tragedy happened.

Thank you I gained so much from your break down and advice concerning these two people. For the first time I was able to see without shame and guilt, my excuses that have led me to be in a very toxic relationship. I am married to a high achieving work alcoholic who would guilt me about not pulling my weight and not as clever as him. I'm 62 and exhausted with all the drama's he complains I drag myself around, I was having a terrible time with stomach issues. When I left this time they have been greatly reduced, which made me aware it is stress related. You're right I had already been saying to my husband I could only change myself not him, I know frkm experiences boundaries don't work on him. He has devalued me so many times that now when he says something nice I don't believe him, and remind me why that it won't last. Even though I know that, I am still blinded and wounded by his capacity for cruelty. However I am fully entangled in the businesses and feel a responsibility to going back to sort out the messes. My counsellor tells me despite my husband devaluation he actually needs me, because I am the fixer who calms everything down and finds a solution. It's ironic I'm so good at helping others, but could never understand why I couldn't help me. All the attacker had to do was undercut me with shame and guilt, and my belief system would say true.

Oh my gosh… I think every person would be confused about her behavior. Even healthy people would be in the end with a lot of open questions.

That second letter💔 never thought I could find one that properly articulated my experience and how difficult it still is to move on from it.

One wonderful wake up call and validated thing a dear friend told me once when i was falling apart and my life was a total mess... you're allowed to feel like shit and its normal, because your life is shit.... 😂 she was right!

Thank you so much for this fantastic video again.

Sometimes you don’t see things until you say it out loud or if you put someone so precious to you in the situation. Because usually when we’re in situations like this we don’t love ourselves. I have desperately wanted to see change and kept going back and got more pain. Narc mom. Dad enables her. Told me he can make another me and would never find another her. Grew up in a very strict Jehovah’s Witness home. I was very sheltered. I couldn’t wait to escape and find someone to love me. I was obsessed with Disney movies. They gave me hope. I didn’t understand love or what it looked like. I’m so many ways. But yeah I understand her and I’m so grateful for this video and information.

I hope she is going to the meetings.... Will watch more of your videos... And leave him... This is heartbreaking....

Only a yesr and a half. Wow. Dont waste another minute on this man. I have had eating disorder and alcoholics. Im paying for it. This is making me realise how ill i have been! Enabler too... look after you. Take this as your clarity confirmation ✨️ 💜💜💜

Gosh. I almost skipped watching this one. That would have been a huge mistake. Excellent and just what I needed to hear and right NOW in my life. Thank you. ❤

Oh gosh I just realized the one guy friend I have who I consider my greatest mentor and friend also drives me *absolutely apeshit*…. I dunno if this is the right phrase but he triggers my codependece. He’s an alcoholic, or close to it, highly functional. Just drinks. All. The. Time. And I definitely have the wounds to grant me those codependent features, getting sucked into that vortex argh

😂😂😂😂"If only he could use his giant cannon for good..." Ooh boy..😅 Anna, your sense of humour 🙌 is top notch. I watch your videos and learn a lot. Thank you Anna❤

The Story of Martin is very similar to a girl i met of wich i concluded has narcissism. The turning cold. The wanting to be friend and in a relationship at the same just being an excuse to do whatever you want. Entitlement. The gaslighting. Even the use of stupid emoji's. ''Oh i'm trembling inside''. Poor me, boohoohoo.

I could have written this about my ex. He ended up being diagnosed a sociopath. I am now in coda and addressing so many other issues. There is hope but she’s got to want to be free.

Her personal safely is in danger..GET AWAY FROM HIM THEN GET A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST HIM THEN GET TO A SHELTER ASAP!!

Casey, We care. 🙏

This letter is so resonate for me. I ended a four year co-dependent trauma bonded relationship that ended in blood shed, an abortion and jail time for my ex. It was horrible.....I wish I had left sooner.

Oh my God this sounds a lot like my marriage. I got out of it, divorcing him and almost done, I wanted to be the one that saved him and help him to see that not all women are awful. He told me he didn't want to marry and said things that were so mean to me. Abusive, alcoholic, and narcissistic. I'm in a new relationship and I would not recommend doing that. Heal, learn from your mistakes and choices. Learn to forgive yourself and get in touch with who you were before this relationship. I hope this helps.

Omg! I can so relate to this situation and some. So much so I had to pause the video and make this comment so I can make me a cuppa, breathe and ready myself for Anna's response and perhaps one day be brave enough to write my own trauma letter. It's likely to to be unreadable as everyone I know has said..."We seriously don't know how your still alive given everything you have been through". So the first thing I want to do is send a big virtual hug to the woman who sent this letter and I want to send a massive THANK YOU! to Anna, finding your RU-vid site at the lowest point in my life has been nothing short of lifesaving. Anna you are the light at the end of the magic wand. Your wisdom, caring and insight is an absolute gift, just writing this brings tears of relief, hope and gratitude. At long last I can finally start to believe that perhaps one day my suffering will end without it having to be my passing. As I need to make some sense to my existence. As I desperately need to heal, to selfcare and to learn to love myself so I can believe that making it to 59 years old was/is worth something. Blessings to you all and much healing and ❤love ❤

Love your information, I been going thru this BUT I'm moving forward so hearing this helps me make sense of my feelings I been dealing with. Thank You 🙏

Girl go away as far as you could and heal yourself. You do not own nothing to a man that treat you this way.

I can tell you I stayed in a marriage with a person who did not care one hoot about me!! Understand it took most of my life to realize this!! After a abused child hood I absolutely had no self value no confidence whatsoever!! I clung and I worked my butt off to stay in this sick relationship!! The worse I was treated the more I clung!! Yes Indeed I definitely was not mentally stable!! I beg anyone in a bad relationship please leave it!! It will not get better trust me! Please don’t spend most of your life in misery!! Don’t wake up late in your life and know you wasted so much!! He was a alcoholic never ever did I have a nice word from him!! My god whatever you do don’t waste your life!! I have come to terms with my past!! I look back and think what in the world was wrong with me!! After 22 years we were divorced because he found another but I got to escape pretty much with nothing! All that time wasted!!Please don’t stay !!

This is very uncomfortable for me to listen to. Casey is me now and thank you so much Anna for pointing out the hard truth. Although i’ve put on my shoes and left him, the sense of loss can be so overwhelming at times that I think it would be easier for me to just swallow my pride and go back to the dysfunctional and abusive relationship that I’ve known for the past 10 years.

Thank You.❤

My relationship is pretty healthy, but I am so clingy. He has more friends, Uni, ... I do have 3 jobs, but I actually have more freetime than my partner. He actually said that I have to concentrate more on my life instead of living his AND mine, but I am still active in his life by for example helping him clean instead of cleaning my home first. I probably subconsciously learned in my childhood that I have to earn love, instead of being deserving of love no matter if I help or not. I watched your videos on co-dependency, but they didn't change my codependency. Can you please make an in-depth video on not only what codependcy is and how it harms us, but on how to heal?

another great video! Thanks!

There are plenty of predators out there.

im not even to the end of this Caseys story, and heres my advice; RUN go now , it wont feel right but you are not safe, the only way you can see this mess is from far away. RUN! DONT LET YOUR FEELINGS GET IN THE WAY. , you can sort out feelings later.

Gosh:-( tough job Anne! You are awesome!!

What if this is all happening without being codependent but the contact was ghosted and the unfairness keeps you there.

This is it This is the video that will set me free