Unrequited Love SUCKS. Tough Love on How to Get Over It. 

"They didn't love you, that's all there is, it's no deeper than that" We just love drama, don't we?

The problem is when they did love you back at one point, the feeling they had has since died off, but yours remains.

"its YOU who's hurting you the most". WOW I really needed to hear that. Thank you, Cinzia :)

That first story is wild. NEVER be friends with people you have a crush on. You’re just giving yourself pain for no reason .

After 30 years of singleness, that bit about “the right love” feels foreign and impossible to find

So true. I’m in my 60’s now…I’ve been noticed and unnoticed, I’ve been rejected and accepted, valued and unvalued, loved and unloved…it’s the positive side of that dynamic that matters. Those positive people are out there. Treat the negative experiences as learning points. Every negative experience is a chance to learn and to grow. Really.

Traumatized people tend to have limerance :(( We believe love is something you "earn" and we also want a hero who can end our suffering. earning his love would make us feel worthy to have a "normal" life. We fall for a potential and fantasize about all these. At the end it is not love. It is a trauma reaction for us.❤

The opposite of love isn't hate it's indifference.

I was friends with a guy for 5 years, and I've had a horrible crush on them since the beginning. I've never felt comfortable labelling it "love", because I define love as a reciprocal act, a mutual choice. I finally steeled my will, and have gone no contact with him. It's been almost 3 months, and I still think of him everyday. Sometimes it hurts so bad I feel like a hole will burn through my chest. I'm trusting it will get better. I'm glad to read all these comments that it gets easier.

I think the most painful part of this experience is that cognitively you understand that nothing will come of such a relationship but because emotions are not very easy to control, a cycle of limerence begins. Which makes you feel really pathetic. Then queue the feeling of low self worth.

It certainly does suck. Once I liked a woman who didn’t feel the same way and i was struggling to deal with the emotions. Then one night I had a dream that she was getting onto an airplane and I kept hearing the words “It’s time to let go” repeatedly. Now here’s the weird part. The next morning this woman sent me a text message saying that she had got a new job in another country and would be flying out in a few days. So that’s how I got over that one.

My own unrequited love from my teen years still comes up in my dreams twenty years later. My subconscious will never stop fighting for that attention.

I'm 38, short unattractive, with Turner's syndrome. I've had my share of crushes, but nobody would ever fall for me, nobody would ever ask me out. I've been called a toad, a rotten orange, "not even a woman". Some of us just don't deserve one coffee date, one kiss, one "I really like you" in their life. I certainly am destined to be single.

One thing that I would like to mention why unrequited love is hard is because of the constant "breadcrumbing" the other person does. They're not going to commit but still use this "tactic" to keep us interested or put us "on hold'. Speaking from personal experience, it's really quite selfish of them. Most importantly we have to remind ourselves that we deserve better than this person has to offer. Don't give in to the breadcrumbs! To the one comment talking about assignments: you can help her as her classmate but you don't need to always say yes to her request. If dealing with her is too much pain for you, try to minimize the contact. No contact / minimal contact works for me the best.

"I'm just Ken (and I'm enough) And I'm great at doing stuff"

I had unrequited feelings for someone for 8 years, not good, lol, not good at all, I wouldn't advise it, it sucks up too much out of your life and closes you off to new people you could meet.

It's the worst when you develop unrequited feelings for a good friend. I dealt with that for a while, and ultimately the only way to get over them was to stop being around each other. I spent a few years just stuffing those feelings down because I knew for 100% sure that they were not interested (from discussions with them early on) but it felt wrong to end a friendship over some bullshit feelings that I had that were not their fault. I kept hoping I'd just stop feeling that way about them, but eventually it became clear that they weren't going away no matter how much I wanted them to. I resented that I still had romantic feelings for this person because it was getting in the way of my own happiness, and I had no delusions about anything ever coming from it. Eventually we both moved away for unrelated reasons, and while it was sad it helped me a lot to not have that physical proximity. We still talk a few times a year online, and while they will always be my friend I'm glad we don't see each other more often. Been a lot more careful about developing feelings for people since then, I don't ever want a repeat of how that went.

Self-worth is a tough journey. Currently still on it, I realized my lack of self-worth was bleeding onto not only relationships but also how I approach academia. The mix of unworthiness with perfectionism has given me so much anxiety that I couldn't even get a word in on my report. Not to mention, I had said yes to things that my now self would not. Setting boundaries is hard, with academia, people, and yourself.

Even applies to friendships. Felt like a stab when he so readily moved on from me. I pretended like I wasn't hurt but I was heartbroken. And it feels embarrassing that I felt so strongly towards someone who never saw the same in me. We're rooming again but in my mind I feel like I was his backup plan when the greener pastures weren't what he thought. At the same time I don't think he owed me, it's just that if our roles were flipped I wouldn't have left because the friendship mattered more to me. So I'm just sad that he isnt invested like I want him to be.

Yeah, I've been on both sides of this equation at different times throughout my life. Suffering in silence with my unreciprocated affections hanging from my neck like a millstone, as well as feeling the awkward weight of "her" unrequited love for me. As I've gotten older, I've learned that such "friendships" just do not work, and best to pull away, put distance, as soon as you realize they don't feel the same as you and never will...Or you don't. Otherwise, it's just that thing, and it's out there between you two, and it never goes away.

Question on a slightly more complicated aspect. How does one move on in a situation in which the person is a good friend? Someone who you do genuinely get on with, have connections with, mutual interests, reasons to talk, but... For whatever reason it doesn't cross the line into romance. How do you move on, when that person is still part of your life, and social group. A person you value and enjoy seeing.

I got through this for so long. And yes, low self esteem is one of the factors that makes you fall for people who you can't have.

Omg I screamed as you said “Unrequited love hurt because of the shame you feel about yourself for not being enough for the person you cared for the most” Oh my… I didn’t realise how much I had attached this rejection to shame until you phrased it like that. Thanks v much for this video.

"when I behaved pathetically" yup

I went through unrequited love a few years ago, and instead of support all I got was harassment and humiliation from my peers this led me to a very dark place. I hope nobody else goes through this and know that to those who do go through this horrible thing, it's never your fault and you are never alone everything in life is a learning process. Improvise, adapt and overcome life is a cycle that one must follow

Some people will deny it, but going through unrequited love will send some on a revenge quest of sorts, even years later, when someone who is interested in THEM will be on the receiving end of their “I’m not ready for a relationship right now” machine gun. It gives them a sense of “There, universe. How do you like them apples?”

It's impossible to not take it personally because it *IS* personal. Duh. If who you love or don't love isn't personal, then what is?

You can change what you do but you can’t change what you want 😢

All of the unrequited love in my life has always come from me at a time when I'm already feeling very low and depressed. If life is going good, then unrequited love isn't a problem, you just get over it.

Love your honesty, I think there isn't a person alive who hasn't gone through unrequited love. I'm not a great reader, but I remember this quote from "White Oleander" that I really loved which said: "Hatred cradles you, love humiliates you." To be fair, it was said by a character who killed her boyfriend for rejecting her, but still, it makes a lot of sense.

For years I couldn’t explain it properly why I’ve been single. Thank you for shedding light on people who actually want to meet someone that chooses you back. Mutual love isn’t really understood by many.

Unrelated but I like the way you speak and your voice so much! It’s like a charming and smart character.

Sometimes people can be clueless about how others feel about them. There were a few people in my 20's who I was "in love" with and they didn't realize how I felt. Since I really cared about those people, I decided to just be friends with them (very hard to do) and ended up with wonderful life long friends.

I think this a hard lesson that most young women experience at some point to some degree. I had an experience almost exactly like yours in my early twenties! The moment I thought we might actually be getting closer it turned out he was only meeting me to learn more about my best friend. The one he was actually interested in. It was painful and demoralizing, but eventually I came to understand that it never would have been an equal and healthy relationship even if we had gotten together. Although the scar will forever remain and at times I still feel a little resentful of his behavior, I am also grateful for lessons I learned about myself and what I want for myself that helped me grow into a more confident and mature woman. You can't make someone love and respect you, and you shouldn't waste your time trying because you won't like what the result ends up being anyway. It's not worth it to bend and twist yourself into their perfect shape because sooner or later you'll break. The fear of being alone is a dark and looming thing, but you can't let it twist you. Better to find someone who is just as interested in you as you are in them and just as willing to put in the effort toward building a healthy relationship. It was a valuable lesson that I still carry with me to this day.

For what its worth, you seem awesome and im sure its his loss :)

It's not always a matter of self-esteem. In my case i had the obsession of love because of the hole inside of me created by emotional absent parents. It was such a freedom to discover my "mechanism" to fall in love was the mere hope of "that person is the one that has the capacity to give my needs unmet". After this i am immune to develop feelings for someone that doesn't show healthy reciprocity. (while not becoming someone cold and distant obviously)

Watching this while the experiencing unrequited "love" or "affection" is sitting a desk away from me.😅 way to go RU-vid recommendations lol

I was there once: she lived on another city and I would travel to see her just to be sidelined or being treated really different as she would treat me to text messages. Finally I cutted ties and it helped me immensely to understand that I should not let anyone use me, to love myself a little more and not to idealize anyone. I was always the person who would go to any distance just to impress to that person just to crash with the reality that I was not being seeing the same way by the other part. Thankfully I grew and now I can set my priorities more clearly. Thanks for the video Lady!

I agree with all your advice. The rejection is not an indicator of your lack of self-worth, love, etc. which is the most logical answer, but emotionally, it feels quite different and it's very difficult for me to interalize.

Definitely suffered from this up until a few years ago after working on myself a lot and my attachment style. Ultimately what worked for me was CBT workshops for attachment style, which led me to understand what I'm feeling, what I need, boundaries, communicating them and then practicing all that over and over (with friends, with dates) until I could unlearn and reprogram myself until that was my new standard. I also put together a list of what I'm looking for and want to feel with someone romantically that helped as a guide

I thank you from the bottom of my heart for this. I am coming out of a 7 year funk from idolizing and putting on a pedestal someone who did not love me. I knew I was on the right track once I really analyzed my feelings and this video was the reassurance I needed.

I reconnected with my first ever girlfriend after 11 years, we were each others first kiss and all that. We were preteens as adults we tried a real relationship. She left me after 7 months, saying she just wants to be by herself. My family helped her get a great job, I helped her get through some extremely tough times in her one words. Sometimes even someone with a deep connection and a set past isn’t the one. I feel devastated and used but in the end I hope it helps me grow. I miss the absence of pain more then I miss her. I hope anyone heartbroken in the comments knows that life is much more than just a person that decides to leave, and thanks Cinzia, great video.

In my experience love as you described it is more trouble than it is worth. Not only it is likely to be a not fun experience, you also loose the sense of self, become irrational and the feeling kinda resembles being high on drugs, seeking to satisfy your own addiction, but being in denial at the same time. Don't do it, I say.

Situationships are the bane of my existence especially since all of them have lasted no longer than 3 months for me each time 💔

"Two weeks later he told me the fantastic news-" I think I just experienced a second-hand panic attack by what followed.

I can relate. I’m 34 years old. All women I showed romantic interested in, have rejected me to this day. I never had something like a date, a kiss and obviously not anything near to a relationship. I’m completely invisible to the opposite gender. No women want me in their life. Not even to an extend of a date. I also tried dating applications like Tinder or Bumble. But out of the thousands of women on these applications not even one matched me back. I know relatives, who would describe, a few months without a dating as unpleasant. But I have been forced to live my whole life without any kind of romantic contact. It’s sad to say that the only interaction I get with women, is from the ladys I pay. I know this kind of affection is not sustainable. But I can’t deal with the loneliness, going for months if not years without any kind of romantic contact.

Been there.... I was going through a very hard parental abuse situation and this person fed me all the lines....you know them all!!!! This made me determined to break free, which I did....this led to true love, marriage and true contentment! We are all enough! We are all significant. We are all worthy. Please always know how amazing each of you are!!!

Thank you, Cinzia for this reminder. I spent too long in my high school and college career worrying about unrequited love when I could have also just been focusing on bettering myself as a person. I don't think I will attend a particular event tomorrow evening, because it would seem my motives are not pure; I would be worrying too much about a particular lady who is also in attendance.

This has quickly became one of my favourite channels

We've all done this. He knew what he was doing. Men don't grow in love, it is immediate for them; the quicker you snuff them out of your life ...the better. Men never lead on a woman they truly want to be with.

Dear lovely Ms. DuBois, when young and impressionable it's easy to focus on our fantasies and become immersed in the possibilities. When older, sometimes it still happens. It's the expression of our needs and desires at that moment in our history. The trick is to recognize it before it causes undo hardship or misery. You come across as a warm, thoughtful, highly cherishable individual. I hope you have found someone to satisfy those needs and desires, joyously, mutually, much of the time. Life is much more enjoyable when that happens. Your subscribers are likely grateful for your insights. Best wishes to you!

Thanks for this, Cinzia. Your advice is going to help me immensely in advising a friend who is in this position and every conversation ends up with her in tears and me just hugging her and saying nothing. I think it’s time I spoke honestly even if it affects our friendship. Sometimes you have to blow up the ground you walk on to make something right. She deserves better… and you too deserve everything good. I love your videos. Hugs from Melbourne, Australia

Oh it’s the worst ever feeling, and I’ve experienced it four times, so awful. I remember crying so hard, I collected my tears in a bowl to see how much I cried, and it definitely covered the bottom. That made me cry more, then I was all cried out, spent. Thank you so much for your honest and cringy admission, we have all done the same yearning things for people who didn’t deserve us! ❤

Lots of people actually need to hear this. Cuz being rejected will not stop you on your path to be who you want to be, unless that vision is with that person. If you want to earn money, you can even if you're rejected by a love interest. If you want to be a better person to your family, you can without having a love interest. There is much more worth in life to enjoy and work on other than love.

Thank you for posting this, I needed it. I'm still reeling from an unrequited love, I fell pretty hard and fast, and sometimes the scars still reappear making me frustrated, angry, ashamed, and disappointed with myself that I let myself become that pathetic. Your story and insight made me feel better about myself, realising that I have indeed put my crush on a pedestal and let her be the judge of my character, and gave me hope. Thank you for sharing ❤

Found this video on my feed and I’ve never felt more grateful. This topic is something that needs to be talked about. Everything about the way you talk about this and present this feels comforting. Your voice, your empathy and your reasoning. As someone who’s never had a proper love and only has unrequited love all my life so far this affected me so much and it reassured me too. Thank you. You’ve got a new subscriber here 🥹

As harsh as this is supposed to be this is incredibly compassionate. Thank you! you said it perfectly. i keep taking their dissatisfaction in me as a definition of my worth. after listening to you that sounds as deranged as wanting to be with a person who isn't right for me, who i don't actually love and who doesn't want me.

Thank you so much for posting this. I really need to hear this today. Ive had issues accepting treatment or situations that I "think" deserve due to low self-esteem. I appreciate this so much!

Hi Cinzia, you put it very well. I've just had a knock back, its the first time i've put myself out there for many years and i feel pritty bad right now, as you said 'not good enough' in some way.

HUG. Your transparency is so courageous. Excellent breakdown of why it happens, and how to move on.

I think it's always best to be honest with your feelings. Even if it may hurt, I feel like it's easier to move forward and know what to do next when you know the truth rather than suffering emotionally and mentally because of a "what if?" scenario in your head. It also shows that person that you're honest and confident and if they don't appreciate that then they're not good company to begin with. There's power in the truth!

I had a friend in highschool who had feelings for me but i didn't reciprocate them back, which I felt awful doing to her as a friend. It wasnt because i didn't like her, but because she seemed too good for me and i didnt want to dissapoint her as a partner. I had a ton of self worth issues which bled into every part of my life and it made me feel like she was wasting her affection on someone like me. Ive been on the otherside myself and its led me to a point where i dont really develop feelings for people anymore. We still talk occasionally but not regularly since she has her new partner. But shes with someone that makes her happy, which is enough for me.

Back at the turn of the century, this current century, obviously, a friend loaned me a copy of Jill Conner Browne's 'Sweet Potato Queens Book of Love.' Unlikely you've heard of it. Few Have. And though I've never been quite entirely sure *why* she loaned it to me, I still vividly recall a chapter about Jay at the Desk, a ubiquitous no-one at the office who was always very nice and friendly and helpful and kind - but a person considered so bland and invisible as to be undateable. I've found that, over the last couple of decades, I have been Jay at the Desk far more times than I'd prefer to have been. Not to say it's something I aspire to, but you get the idea. It's painful and it hurts. But you get over it and get on. And you realise you have value regardless of what others incorrectly believe, and hope that someone will, eventually, recognise that as well.

I have literally just burst into tears watching your video. I did it, I fell into unrequited love … with my best friend. They have told me that it will NEVER happen between us. I am numb and I have had trouble sleeping. I feel like I have been gutted. All I have been doing is replaying it all over in my head. You are right, the desire to completely self destruct into grief, despair and self loathing is a strong one … “Why didn’t you love me back?” “Why was I not good enough?” “What did I do?” “Am I that unworthy?” “What is wrong with me?” I had not cried about it until just now … just hearing those words of comfort, wisdom and advice was enough to break my numbness. Thank you so much for putting it all into perspective. Thank you for helping me understand this heartbreak in another, more positive light. I don’t know how I am going to cope and get through this, but the road ahead is clearing, thanks to you. Take care and stay safe 🫂

I don't want to write a lengthy comment, there'd be so much to express... All I want to say is thank you so much for this video. I was in an unrequited love situation for months last year and after breaking all contact in the beginning of this year I still struggle with thoughts. This video is immensely helpful.

I remember when I was a sophomore in college I was asked out by this guy in my friend group who I had a massive crush on. I was absolutely baffled that he even wanted to ask me out. We had a great date and kissed and I was over the moon. However, the next day I got a text from him basically saying that he wasn't ready for a relationship, didn't want to mess up our friendship, blah blah blah. It was a gentle way of saying that he wasn't into me like that, which is absolutely fine. However, we lived in the same apartment complex and were in the same friend group. I basically allowed this disappointment to completely destroy my self esteem.. I had a bunch of one night stands, went on all of the dating apps, and was determined to "prove" something. However, I basically just destroyed myself doing it.. drinking a ton, jumping into situationships, etc. Eventually that infatuation with him faded and for once his less-than-perfect qualities started to stand out to me more. I can't say that I have super high confidence levels now, but I'm glad that I finally got over that shit.

The pair of shoes metaphor is so apt and so helpful.

I appreciate this so much. The object of your affection is not the decider of the universal standard of who is worthy of love. That’s so powerful. Thank you!!

I was totally infatuated with a girl over a couple of years. It was chaotic, painful, mysterious, sexy and miserable etc. etc. A deliciously agonising little saga of my own making that made me extremely self-centred and tedious, and of course had almost nothing to do with her. I didn't actually start to get over it until after I had dated someone else for a bit. This girl was sweet, bookish, eccentric, a good kisser and sort of resembled Bridget Jones. We saw each other for a couple of months, but I always got the impression that she was going kind of overboard when we hung out and it didn't feel very authentic or confident. Eventually, I ended it over the phone with a bit of a "hey that was nice but it's not really working for me, sorry" and hung up. Maybe a week later a friend had mentioned that she had seen and overheard the girl talking about our break-up. Apparently she was on the edge of tears, was effusing over how I was this perfect guy and that she was a total fool for messing it up. It kind of put my previous feelings in perspective. I was now the cause of all this rejection and hurt and frustration, but I had basically no feelings about it whatsoever. If it hadn't been for an overheard conversation, I would have carried on with life as usual. I resolved to MOVE ON from my own romantic drama after that!

Needed this today

Your name is a mix of Italian and French. You seem like a British lady from a different era. Very nice to have found your RU-vid page.

This rejection is probably one of the hardest situations to deal with.

Saddest situation is if that's the only kind of attention you will get for the rest of your life which happens quite often with people that were friendzoned more than once. It becomes a pattern.

One thing I would add to this, is communicate. I can't say anything specifically in your case, as I wasn't in your situation, but going by only what you said, I would say it's important to actually voice your feelings instead of waiting for the other person to voice them first or "come around". That gets rid of all need to sit and stew about will they, won't they or do they or can they, etc. Plus some people are just... incompetent, let's say, when it comes to seeing "the obvious". I had two people who I hung out with nearly every day in high school tell me 10-20 years later that they had liked me the entire time and I had literally zero idea. Maybe it's me being a demisexual, but there was no clear obvious thing to me that they seemed to think there was. I'm honestly completely baffled by all flirting in general, it's never made sense to me, not that I ever felt they ever did. It all just felt like friends being friends. And being a good friend versus being a good friend with the hopes of something more is not good nor fair either, for either party. Communication stops any of that confusion and at least let's you know where you are with a person. And if they are saying one thing and doing another, then you know you're in trouble and need to move on.

As Maisie Peters says, 'if you don't want me, then you're not the one!'

When I was a teenager I always viewed that being inlove was a vulnerability. So when I fell in love with my guy bestfriend I decided to shut him out of my life completely. I thought it would help me deal with my feelings. But after a while I realised how sellfish I was. And how I ruined a long friendship. And how much i missed my bestfriend. I think all the guilt that built inside me and also never really knowing if he liked me back was why it took me so long to get over my unrequited love.

This is the life lessons young peoples need to watch. It saves so much trouble and friend-zoning. You realize situation-ships create so much emotional trauma. Also break ups work in the same way. Sometimes live show you your were not really compatible for the long run. If you want to get ready for your true partner you have to let go of the attachment but that can take a ton of time.

Thank you for being so open about things i barely admit to myself. I love your channel. ❤

Thank you for this one, Cinzia. I've been following you for years, and, well, let's just say recent events made me need to heart this brutally put. I'm considering downloading the audio and listening to it for a couple of weeks, see if it seeps through.

Allegory of shoes and size of our feet made it so simple to contemplate my situation. Thanks for your kind wisdom.😊

This hits home so hard. I fell for a guy last year for the first time in my life when I was 23 (so some would consider me very late to the party). I wasn't even sure at that point if I could feel this way about a person, so I was thrilled, it was very exciting. But he didn't even notice my existence until I put considerable effort into it until he did. I went to his American football games twice, despite not knowing a thing about football and not caring at all, just so that I could see him for a couple of minutes. And yes, I know it sounds clichée, the shy, nerdy girl falling for the football player 😅 He was always very kind and funny and I just enjoyed talking to him, despite knowing in the back of my head, that we would never be compatible at all and that I wasn't his type. At some point a friend of mine told me that he just hooked up with another girl and oh well... what followed were weeks and months of crying and pining and all that fun stuff. It took me quite some time to realize what you just said: That my worth as a person does not depend on if he likes me back or not, it just means that we were not right for each other. I would lie if I said that I do not think about him anymore, but it is fine. I try to treat it as a learning experience and hopefully do better next time, if the right guy comes along eventually.

How easy it all is to accept when said by someone else then yourself. Thank you.

I love your approach on this matter, is really helpful. The one thing that I don't agrre with is that love is unconditional and that you cannot work your way out of friendzone, you should always strive to be better and you should never take the other person from granted. Perfect love is for books and movies. But thank you for speaking out on this topic and again, giving very significant input on it.

This is exactly what ive been going through since around Halloween so this video came out at the perfect time. Started dating this girl around the beginning of August and everything was going so great. It was the closest I'd ever felt to having a real girlfriend and really connecting with someone. It seemed like she really liked me a lot and like there were sparks and I had just never felt that with anyone. I thought things were going to get serious but about a month into the relationship I brought it up she said she didnt want to be serious or hang out anymore, as if all of her feelings for me faded out of nowhere, but she still texted me for another month, and then she said she wanted to hang out again but just be casual. She told me I was more than just a hookup to her. But then after another month went by she told me she could tell I still had feelings for her and that we shouldn't see each other or talk anymore, and that she also was seeing another guy. I've been so broken over all this. I really liked her a lot and thought she would come around and open up to me if we kept hanging out, but clearly that didnt happen, and even though I supposedly meant more to her than just a hookup, she ironically tossed me aside completely and persues the hookups instead. It makes me feel so awful that she left me like this. Its been so hard to get over, my self esteem has definitely taken a hit, and honestly even if i can move on, i don't think i can get over the way i was treated, and i feel like i just cant date or trust anyone anymore. Its no wonder why people just go for hookups after being totally fucked over for being real, nobody wants to get their heart broken. She meant a lot to me and im worried i wont find anyone else that made me feel the same way. I'm pretty sure this is the most fucked up thing ive ever gone through personally.

Thank you so much I needed to hear someone talking from the heart and experience and not just "Its their loss" however I am hurting right now and allowing myself to have these feelings knowing They will pass.

It’s like you’re talking directly to my brain haha. Im going through a really tough time right now, accepting that a girl I liked will never like me back in the same way, what I should’ve done differently, the whole kit and kaboodle. A lot of the things you said in this video helped a lot, thank you.

I felt so loved and appreciated by this person once a long time ago, and now our lives have changed but my feelings haven't and they make me feel like shit and they don't even know it.

I really need this, thank you!

Wow, thank you so much for this video! I'm going through a rough time trying to let go of someone who doesn't love me as much as I love him. This video helped me a lot and couldn't come at a better time. Unrequited love is tough but like you said it doesn't define our self worth. Thank you ❤️

I’ve been in love with my best friend for 3 years my feelings for him come and go. He loves me but not that way for a while I convinced myself that one day he’ll start feeling the same and After a while it became a validation thing him not feeling the same and the fact that I’ve never been loved before made me feel unloveable and the thought of one day winning him over would validate my “worthiness” of love. I’m trying to tell myself that my worthiness of love is not tied to him and it’s ok to let go and accept things the way they are. He’s been in a relationship for almost a year now and he’s happy I’m not what he wants I’m not what he’s looking for and that’s ok. He will always look for someone other than me to fill that role in his life. Through all the years we’ve been friends I’ve gained weight lost weight changed my style got better at makeup evolved my personality and matured and he still never wanted me in all of those phases. Love is not something you earn from someone it’s just given. I could treat him better than his gf and he would still choose her every time bc that’s who he wants.

Just found you tonight. You are so great. I’m in my kitchen cooking dinner and each video i watch and going “hell yeah”. Thank you so much ❤

Thank you very much for sharing, it means alot for many women, I wish you all love and success dear 🌷

In my experience women are way to subtle. A smile could mean she just wants to be friends or that she is being nice. "What kind of books do you read?", could just be her making conversation. An exciting conversation or enthusiastic exchange could be just that, a fun talk between friends. We are told all of the time that women want us to be their friend, and then when we do that it often seems to backfire. Just talk to people! If she seems to like you as a person or being around you, she probably won't be offended for you to ask her out. And call it a date. A lot of the time, when I was dating, I would do that in a text when we were making arrangements afterwards. "So it's a date", and then she would just respond. If she doesn't correct you, that is what it is. Just use words, people.

This opened my eyes, seriously I'm... Im speechless

Thank you this video helped me a lot i even cried remembering difficult things and situations

TY Cinzia, like usual you posted this right when I needed to be reminded about a said topic

The absolute hell I went through in my 20s because of this issue 😆 it happened one after the other. At some point I pointed the finger at myself and realised I had to work on my self esteem. It got much much better in my 30s but I don’t like remembering those days, I put too many women on pedestals back then.

09:56 ""They're some random person that has the same amount of chromosomes as you do" that's a bold assumption REEEEEEE

I loved this video. I felt like I was in the room listening to you.

I swear, there's not a video of yours I CAN'T give a thumbs up to!! They're always such a masterpiece🤩