Use My Savings To Pay Off My New Spouse's Debt? 

They have been married several years and he STILL has not paid of his debts?? Don't do it!!

She should have consulted with a family attorney before getting married. Also. if she earned Millions before the marriage , she should have a prenup agreement for WHEN they get divorced . Sorry for being so pessimistic

No man or woman with that much debt is worth marrying.

Caller implied husband has a spending problem - "if I didn't have him paying all his income onto his debts, that money would be gone." Yall should have leaned into that harder for more info!! Caller obviously has a 6th sense about the husband if she's kept things separate this long. I don't agree with this advice to go against her instincts and enmesh their finances.

Fantastic man.....with 500k of debt. Brilliant

Sell the new husband

I know a guy who's 150k in back child support, he's currently looking for a new wife just like her.. he's really a great guy, promise..🤭

i will NOT use my savings to pay off all his debt but I will contribute some money not all of it. Your savings is what YOU work for. Not BOTH.

I get the husband and wife aspect, but once Im debt free, I can't imagine just paying off someone else's debt just because I want to get married to them. I would make debt free a pre-requisite to getting married or at least make the other people get in the habits of using their paycheck to attack their debt for at least a year before pulling that trigger.... He needs to struggle in order to get his heart and brain into the right place. If she just pays it off, its instant gratification and he isn't gong to develop the habits.

Have to use your brain as well as your heart when choosing a partner. I wouldn't marry someone in such bad financial shape.

She should have waited to marry him after he was debt free.

It's amazing how much empathy these guys have for this lady as opposed to next to zero empathy for men that call in with the same issue. Not different rules, but certainly a double standard.

If it was the husband calling in they would simply say yes.

I totally disagree with you racheal. She shouldn’t have married him before debt was paid off.

This guy may leave as soon as she pays off the debt. I hope she has thought of that possibility

It sounds like she's parenting him. She "has him putting all his income...." etc. Sounds like time for a good, deep conversation where they have no holds barred as to what each expect.

Being a debt free person, it would be a problem for me to marry a woman with a large debt. I just cannot imagine myself paying off somebody's debt.

Do not be a fool! Tell him to pay off his debts! Protect your assets!

$20 says he is younger than her and she married him because she was thirsty.

She was a complete fool for marrying this man.

" My first husband died and I was left with a large life insurance policy. I married for money and now I am ready to marry for love. The problem is he has a lot of debt/redflags. I got married anyways and now I don't want to risk MY assest I had prior to getting married. " I fixed it for her. Happy to see others pointed out the hypocrisy in the way this phone call was handled.

Keep premarital money in one bank and forget about it . And take a joint account and share bills , give him responsibility , you are a great woman but give him chance to share the burden , one day when you can’t work you will be exhausted. Help him With financial decisions but don’t push , if he is a great guy he can overcome his debt habit. All the best ! 👍🏻

Caller: my dog just died Dave: what your household income?

“Unto thee all my worldly goods I pledge” or whatever Dave pretentiously tells all of the guys who call in and ask this question.

Imagine being the average American who didn't go to college or paid off their loans being asked to pay off the debts of people who signed an agreement to pay off their student loans and now want to whine endlessly about how they shouldn't have to.

it's not "his past life" and the debt he brings from that that is the issue, it's the "our present financial situation". His debt is Katherine's debt, that's what marriage is. The real question is why did they get married if they don't actually want to be in a marriage?

Absolutely, do NOT pay off a wife's debt... and they should tell her not to pay off his debts. So what's good for the goose is good for the gander.

She did not do due diligence when dating. Was the first time she heard of his debt after they got married?

If you're significant has debt. Don't pay it off... PERIOD. Marriage is not debt consolidation. If it is... it will lead to divorce.

Nooooooo. I wouldn't have married. Good luck to you and your awesome guy!!

I wouldn't use my savings, but you need to work on it together.

Aint no way i paying half a million dollar debt for my spouse that she created before i was in the picture

I told my son not to marry someone that is financially irresponsible. He works too hard to marry a liability.

He’s outta there as soon as this paid off 👀

The moment to bring up and deak with his debt was BEFORE they got married, not now when it’s too late after several years. Also, California is a community property state, so that may make a difference in the mine/yours thing.

Ouch sounds like someone is being used, good luck to this lady 😢

Did she marry him to pay all his debt and need assistance on how to do it? I would have never married him until he paid off his own debt.

I have a similar situation. Single mom and my ex refused to pay any child support. If a woman can manage with herself, a guy should be able to do it too.

I wish she held off on the marriage until he worked towards the debt. ❌

My biggest financial mistake was being only 12 years ago during the 2008 financial crisis and nowhere near prepared enough to scoop up some cheap stocks and real estate maybe

Lady, keep your savings out of this. Combine your INCOMES together and pay off the house and his debt together. Do not touch YOUR nest egg, are you crazy?!

If you both have kids it is better not to mix your money.

if the tesla is more than half her income, she should sell the tesla. that's what Dave would say. she would have bragged about her income if it was that great

No dont, period

An awesome guy doesn’t have a half million dollars in debt. Sounds like you married a train wreck.

Welcome to the equal rights! You fought for this.

I don't like living I the past, but why when you guys were dating didn't you tell this guy to pay off his debt? 🤔🤷‍♀️

No. Just no. Nope.

She said he was good man.... I am still trying to hear about the man good man part ? Yawn

Make sure he “meets” papa Dave before you pay it! Lol

Everyone needs a financial lesson and in hindsight seems she needed to protect herself financially when she got married and it does not mean she is not committed to a partnership. That’s a high amount of debt so his history is for not being careful of finances and debt.

They should have asked more about what he does and how long he's had the loans and what he makes. Dave actually does recommend prenuptials there are extreme situations. I would say that somebody with a half a million dollars in debt versus somebody with a million dollars net egg is an extreme situation especially if the guy is not making insane money.

I think it un-mans a man for him to be okay with his wife bailing him out of his stupidity and debt. He should do everything he needs to do to pay off his debt - even taking on a 2nd job if need be. The man is the provider and to allow his wife to spend her inheritance on his before marriage debts is a recipe for major disrespect. His age makes it doubly stupid. I wish she had had this call to you before she married him. Jmo

Why didn’t you get a prenup?

she generally won't get another man like him. her dating pool is dry. she should write off the cost. except he will move up later. I'm not buying she earned and saved 1M

She pays off that debt and he will be gone!!! She should have considered this before she married him

I disagree she's hitting the most important thing that needs paid off their house. Let him continue to pay off his debts, he will not get the gratification of seeing something paid off if she helps him. My husband and I had a joint account all our married life and I handled the finances he had access to the bank account at any time but told me what he took out or used the card for so I could record it ( before the internet at the beginning) we had talks on anything that was spent outside our normal bills before making a purchase. But we both came in debt free to our marriage. This is a very different relationship.. no way would I have married someone with so much debt. Anna In Ohio

I strongly disagree with this advice. The husband should learn to manage debt and create his own daily habits of financial management of his finances. I worry if the wife gives him all money, the husband will learn nothing, and the wife will begin her own debt cycle. Just my humble real advice.

I would use current income to pay off the debt and keep the savings as savings. If you instant payoff, there is no guarantee of a rebuild. Give it a few years to build trust and verify the previous bad behavior is changed. The savings won't go anywhere and you can enjoy it together when you both have paid off the debt.

I like the advice. I think if you just pay it off - he won't learn the heart burning sacrifice it takes to work off the debt and develop the conviction to not achieve the debt again. I do like the joining the bank account and to have the mindset we are one. What yours is mine and mine is yours. In other words, lets work on this together and make this happen as a team!

Totally disagree with combining in this case.

Of course, pay off the debt. He’s an AWSOME guy with a ton of debt. 😂

I think if you explain to males that females are a liability, not an asset; they may understand. Guys, LIFE is your balance sheet. If you are not making enough money to offset the liability, the business (your relationship) will go south. Does it make it sink in any better?

Nice shirt Ken!

My mom told her daughters, when we got married. "Have cash stashed, you just never know!"

Don't do it

NOPE! Do not touch the savings, for God's sake! Have a common budget from now on. If he wasn't present in your life at the time when you built/inherited your "savings", you don't touch it for his debt. You BOTH pay it, as a couple, from now on, with what you both save from now.

I cannot fathom why people get married and then think they should keep finances separate.

What kind of car was Mr. Fantastic driving before you met? What is he driving now? If he was driving an expensive car with huge college debt then drive away.

No

Rachel has a good answer but it was a MENTAL ANSWER, not emotional one. If it was I, I would asked her WHY, why she wanted to use her saving to pay off her husband’s debts. Her WHY will clarify everything.

No!

Oh, but it was OK for him to adopt her child, thereby making him legally responsible for child support should they divorce.

Wow. I’ve watched Dave’s videos for years. This may be the first time I felt they didn’t grasp the emotional issues involved and wrapped it up with shallow advice. Hard to watch.

OMG Rachel😢😮 the caller should be protected in case of divorce. Shared accounts and all is great for the first marriage in the early 20, but this is two established adults getting married.

His behavior needs to change. You don't pay it off in a lump sum for the same reason you don't consolidate credit cards into a personal loan - it just frees up all those credit limits to be maxed out again. It would've been good of you to have this conversation sooner, but you should work a principled plan together to pay off his debt together. It can't just be you bailing him out. By working on it together, you invest him into the process, which will pay dividends throughout the rest of your lives.

That's not the baby steps. Where is the $1000 emergency fund and put everything on the debts?

Agree, when you get married there is no longer his and hers. There is yours (combined).

When you pay off his debt, then you will be Awesome.

THis dude is going to make a mess and expect to spend a chunk of this girls money.

You're married, it's our debt. Not his.

Really sounds like she wants to control him… if she pays off the debt she no longer had leverage.

His money is her money. Her money is her money.

How long will it take for him to pay it off

What’s the rush to get married? Just wait and work on his finances..let him fight for you and feel better about himself. If he doesn’t take much action than marriage isn’t important to him.. marriage is legally binding and just cuz u live together doesn’t mean u have to get married… marriage is not one size fits all

I wish I had a Tesla (paid off)😢 I wish I had a million dollars 😢 I DON’T wish I was married 😂

I guess it's always the husband's fault. Take the red pill 💊 gents

I wish Delony was on this call, he would have come up with some way to say no!

Feb-U-wary. How old are we, Rachel? 😂

I hope he leaves her after she pays off his debt then he asks for alimony👍🏾👍🏾. See how men feel.

No way. She’s going to get married and give away her children’s future security.

Bad idea to marry into debt. He can walk away as soon as you pay them 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Had it been a man having the sane hesitation, you'd see the claws come out about how selfish and unreasonable the man was being.

never marry dept and luggage

When I was married- I had separate bank accounts

Don’t do it. Of course the guy is awesome…because he has been living a soft life on debt. Of course he can be fun because he has been living off others. Oh man this woman is paying for a man. She is paying for everything. 🚩 why is she not talking about how her husband is working to pay off the debt. This sounds like she is taking care of a man child.

Oh noooooooo 🤦🏻‍♂️ i know someone is turning in their grave …. 🙊

Mm as soon as they got married (apparently years ago), his debt became THEIR debt. This works both ways. It is now an issue that stands between them because she sees it as her husband’s issue only. It’s funny how people want to join their lives and share everything in marriage, except money.

Theres not many options since she married him , without some pre agreement. Its just something shes going to have to go with. Its their debt now. That might be a good thing he could be an awesome guy and they build an awesome life together. But the situation is what it is.

Would the answer have been the same if a man called in with the same scenario About his new wife and her half million in debt?….