Viewer Questions From Across the Country: Ohio 

My Aunt & Uncle decided to donate their bodies to the local Medical University. When they died they were taken directly there. They were the first in our family to go to Med School!

I work in healthcare but some years ago I was in a facility and many passed in my area, if the funeral director came to pick up I would always be willing to help, most appreciated it. I always caught myself talking to the deceased on the way in the bag or out the door saying I am so sorry or thank you for the memories, I enjoyed having you... it seemed like closure for me because usually I had them for quite a long time.

Kari, my moms death occurred at home. Since she was terminal no autopsy was needed. I took care of mom before and after she passed. I bathed her did her hair makeup and dressed her in her a new night gown. The family all came over to pay respects and we prayed etc. The called the funeral home and did direct cremation. Everything went well. Truly miss my momma it’s been 20 yrs now

That is so heartwarming that you tell the deceased "goodnight", Kari.

I absolutely love that Kari talked about being nice to the deceased because I absolutely think that morticians and funeral directors are in the clear in terms of haunting!! Them and those who maintain cemeteries❤️

Kari your life on earth is just a flicker compared to eternity. Your soul will meet up with all those with whom you shared God's love and kindness. Goodnight Kari !!

I enjoyed the variety of questions in this video. Good job, Jasmine!

I was a home inspector for 20 years here in Connecticut. I was in a historic antique home that was once an Inn on a wagon trail to Boston. I was in the crawl space and noticed rows of of ground depressions. The home owner mentioned that in winters in the 1800s when the ground was too frozen, the depressions were used as temporary storage places for bodies.

Great questions! I am 55 and remember that my great uncle’s wake was in my grandmothers living room and was there overnight. The casket was left open the entire time ….and I recall feeling eeriness during the night. It was probably my first exposure to a dead body.

Kari, That is so sweet that you say good night to the deceased. If that was my dear one in your care, it would be so special to me!

This is a great video. I loved Jasmine’s questions.

Kari, you're so kind and amazing and I'm so glad we got to chat!! Thanks for letting me represent good 'ole Ohio. Much love!!

I think saying "good night" or any sign of respect to the deceased after hours is so GREAT! Merry Christmas or other holiday acknowledgement would be so 'Kari'!

As a nurse when one of our residents would pass away....I would always talk to them even as we helped mortician transfer them to cart etc....it was always out of respect.💖💖💖 You are such a kind soul....it doesn't surprise me that you are so respectful too.😉😉 Very enjoyable questions and answers....thank you for sharing!!🥰🥰🥰My mom passed away 6 months after a freak accident at a nursing home......she fell out of the hoyer lift as they were transferring her....breaking her left femur, right arm/elbow, her pelvis in 3 areas and possibly both shoulders....but her bones were so deteriorated from her severe crippling rheumatoid arthritis that they couldn't do surgery. It was horrible to watch her day after day fight to live but was in excruciating pain. Apparently she and my dad supposedly decided she didn't want a funeral or any service to commerate her life. She was cremated and that was it....it's been was 2 years in October but it still is so surreal as it's never felt like there's been any closure. I hate it.😥😥😥

I am also of Polish-Catholic ancestry and remember the era of two day wakes back in the 1960’s. When I visit the cemetery to care for my family’ s graves, I apologize if I should step on a grave. I was taught when I was young that it is disrespectful to walk upon someone’s grave.

Kari thank you for answering my question about cremated remains burial, we are putting my brother with my parents in California thanks again its great having someone like you to ask ❤

I think that saying goodnight is a respectful and a kind gesture I have to much anxiety to work in the death industry but I appreciate so much the kind ppl that took care of my sweet angel baby and husband it takes a special person to do it

Back in the days bodies were kept in A receiving vault or receiving tomb or public vaults at the cemetery.

My dad wanted a direct cremation. I regret not being present at his cremation, not having him dressed. He really didn’t want a fuss. However I stayed with his body after his passing for hours, I helped remove the ekg leeds, dressings, iv’s. Cut some hair to keep, hugged him and held his hand until I was just too exhausted to function. I think it’s important to do something to care for your loved one when they pass.

I had a funeral floral consultation for a very small child. The mother was in agony of course. She worried her son would be scared in his casket alone. The funeral home was one block over from our flower shop. I stopped in on my way home and in my mind I reassured that sweet child that his mother would be with him in spirit. Real life experience that meant everything to me.

I totally agree with your assessment of people skipping the care etc. My ex-in laws, whom I stayed close to, died at 90 and 95 so their friends and many relatives had already passed. But when my mother in law died, it was a direct cremation and her ashes were “stored”, if you will, at my father in laws house. No funeral at all, not obituary, nothing. A few years later, he died after a few days in the hospital and once again, direct cremation, no funeral. My daughters (their only grandchildren) really resented the lack of a ceremony, chance to put some closure on the grandparents they loved so much but the two sons were in charge and that is how they handled it.

That was so cute seeing you blush when you said that you tell the folks Good night when you leave for the night.

I love your Q & A series. This one in particular was great! You are so kind & sweet, especially when you mentioned saying "Good night " to the deceased. 💗 I really wish we had someone just like you in my city! 🥰

Kari, as I traveled around the country over the years I would frequently tour local cemeteries. Something that I found in northern states (Minnesota, Michigan, the Dakotas, etc.) were holding vaults such as Jasmine asked about. Typically these are very large mausoleum-like structures where caskets were held during the deep winter months when in-ground burials were impractical. These are always in large cemeteries, not homestead burial plots. Usually I found them in large metropolitan cemeteries. In talking to cemetery sextons I discovered that, in some locations, final burial rites weren't conducted until the actual burial could take place in the spring. Remains were simply placed in "storage" until the burial took place. Other locations services would be held and then the remains were stored in the "holding mausoleum". They were then interred in the spring when the ground was thawed and the families were simply informed that the burial had been completed. Whichever policies were followed didn't seem to be geographically influenced but predominant local religious denominations could influence what happened.

I have no clue how or why this popped up for me, but I’m here for it! They way you are answering these questions is awesome! Taking every question seriously and providing great answers, educating us all!

As a caregiver/medication aide I have cared for people as they pass away, and in cleaning them up for family and the mortuary I always talk to them, tell them what I am doing etc. I have always done it... so I talk to dead people. BUT cemeteries creep me out.

I had an aunt by marriage who was from Minnesota. They had a farm hand that died in the winter. Since this was the 1920's or 30's they were unable to bury him. This family kept him wrapped on the front porch until spring. This really messed with my aunt as it probably would me.

Kari, your videos are so interesting, you have so much respect for the deceased. There needs to be alot more people like you in this profession.

MAN! Jasmine was GREAT in her lineup of questions! WOW . The menstrual cycle question;Damn,wish I'd asked that one. Lol. Hi Mrs. Kari.

I love that you said just in case. I stand about 6 feet out from any grave stone & have taught my children the same.

My great grandmother was stored in the maintenance building at the cemetary till spring. They have ways of digging graves in frozen ground today. A Groundhog machine will dig a grave in frozen ground. There are different types of ground thawers as well. A Frosthog can be used to thaw the ground to dig a grave. There are things such as the power blanket which is used to thaw the ground.

Great questions!! The tucking in part made me smile, thinking soo sweet. I remember watching as they closed up my grandpa's casket before we went in for the funeral. They tucked some of the fabric down on the sides of him. Hadn't thought about that since that day in 2012. ❤

She had some really great questions. I used to wonder when I was little about leaving the casket opened or closed. But that really is sweet of you to say goodnight to them.

I know that many people in rural areas in the west, north and south had to put their bodies outside by the side of the house where they stayed frozen for several months until the snow melted and ground thawed. Several I know of were women and children who were left to care for the remains of the husband/father and children/siblings so carrying them very far wasn't really possible. Many of these people were in remote areas on their 80 acres (or whatever) and didn't have any neighbors close enough to even ask for help. They had no way to communicate, no electricity or indoor plumbing, and no way to even traverse the heavy snowfall (which could easily be 12 feet or more) when they lived many miles from anywhere. I have family histories written by women about their experiences, two of whom each lost a husband and 4 children in a flu epidemic. They wrote that they had to leave them in an enclosed area like a porch just outside the house so the bodies wouldn't get eaten by the wild animals. Many people who lived this way canned and stocked up wood and necessities and planned for 6 months of winter each year. Reading their stories is totally heart-wrenching. Hearing what they had to endure is so far from what we have to face today that it's almost unimaginable. Having someone like you to go through the death experience with us and taking care of the harder parts of preservation saves us from pain we can't even comprehend. Thank you for your candor on the subject.

Those were EXCELLENT questions and answers! I wondered the same thing about her bonus question about leaving or moving the body. I lost my mother 2 years ago and at her viewing it was really busy and went over the 2hr viewing time.The funeral home started turning lights out and I wondered if they left her there with her casket open/closed or if she was moved to a cold room. Her burial was 11am the next morning..now I know...THANKS FOR THE GREAT INFO! ❤

My dads sister died as a baby in 1925 here in Minneapolis and Lakewood cemetery had a building they "over wintered her body" she died in February. She was buried in early May after the frost left the ground.

Hello Kari a very good upbeat video 👌 she was so nice and sincere just like you..

At the beautiful Lake View Cemetery in Cleveland, they have The Wade Memorial Chapel that has an interior designed by Louis Comfort Tiffany. I consider it one of the wonders of the world. It has a receiving crypt that can hold almost 100 coffins that was used during the winter for storage until they could be buried in the spring. The chapel was finished in 1901.

I live in LA, near New Orleans. A few years back a funeral home leaned a body up near a lamp post, and another time a women was in a chair with a glass or wine, beautifully dressed and on a stage. As we say here, only in New Orleans, anything goes here.

I always talked to the people that I removed too ..Treated them The Best I could ...Always thought that if they were looking down on me as I did their removal .they know I Treated them with Respect

I was raised to take care of our dead. I am now teaching my nephew the same when it comes to visiting my dad’s grave

I loved this! Great questions!

Great questions again. If I were in the funeral business, I would probably also say "Goodnight, Bob", as I would leave the building for the night. It's just good karma, and still respectful. Even though no longer alive, they are still people, lol.

There was a time a family member sat up with the body until he/she was buried. This was very common in the South and Appalachia.

These were great questions. Thank you both 😊

I love that you say goodnight to our people's bodies!

Such great questions. Loved Kari’s answer to the last question. When I worked at a funeral home, I was usually last to leave, and I always said goodnight to whomever was in the casket or prep room. It just felt natural.

My local cemetery has a huge hillside vault where they kept coffins until spring when they could dig the grave. Nowadays they keep the lawn mowers there but they had the doors wide open one day and you can still see casket sized shelves inside.

I’m new to this channel, and as of one of my first ten videos, this has delighted me!!!! I feel like “saying goodnight so they’ll know I was nice to them” has made me laugh, smile, and shake my head all in one!!!!!!! Love this!!

I remember when I was little (7) 40 yrs. ago. In south philly they laid my great grandfather in a casket in the living room. They brought in a special table to hold dry ice underneath with him placed on top till he was buried 2 days later. I was scared to go back to that house.

I loved this one! Jasmine was so fun and you both seemed to have such a good time chatting. I’ve always wondered about the menstrual question and also what they do with the bodies at night. I don’t know why I always assumed they put them in a cooler at night.

This is probably the best video I’ve ever seen. Jasmine had great questions!

My family is from just the ISA side of the USA /Canada area. T community built a brick building in the town and if a person die after the ground was frozen the deceased was put in a coffin and stored in the brick building until the ground thawed.

Great questions!! I really enjoyed this conversation. I recall wondering the same thing when my Grandpa passed, and I’m now 68 and have not forgotten that feeling!

That is so sweet to say goodnight. I'm sure looking down from above they are giving you the strength to do what you do. 😇🥰 Defiant disorder or just being defiant in general is the mindset you were trying to think of. 😊

My great grandfather was put in the ice house they had a section just for bodies that couldn't be buried until spring due to frozen ground. This was in Kentucky

Reverse Psychology: the practice of suggesting that a person do the opposite of what one really wants him or her to do. Source: Oxford Canadian Dictionary of Current English. This was a very interesting video. Jasmine provided a different view of death. Thank you.

I enjoyed these questions/answers. I never thought about them. Now I can't help but wonder what people did in the "old" days with their dead until the thaw. Six months before my husband past, we went to a memorial for his oldest friend. He was cremated and all there was were some pictures, and his urn. No one minister, priest or anyone giving a eulogy. When we left it felt depressing.

Kari...when you leave the room and say 'Goodnight' to the deseased, it is the Love and goodness within you that is coming out. I wouldn't expect any less from you.

I enjoy these. Questions comeup I would never would have thought of.

Great questions and answers. Really enjoyed this Kari x

We have several cemeteries here in Albany County in Upstate NY where it gets extremely cold in winter months. The cemeteries have above ground vaults that were built to store coffins until the ground thawed sufficiently to bury the deceased. There are a few of these in Albany Rural Cemetery in Menands NY. Check it out.

I am so thankful for this information and questions about death ,you explained it well 🙏 🙌 👌 😊 that's why I come back ❤❤❤❤❤😘💯💯👍

You can break the ground even if it's frozen. We used a pick to start a hole and dig until we reached unfrozen ground. We would dig under the frozen ground; push the frozen part down and you were done.

Wonderful interview! 👍🏻👍🏻💕

They used to use a receiving vault to store bodies when the ground was frozen. For areas that did not have that option they kept the body out in an outbuilding. (My family did this in south dakota winter deaths).

I live on the Canadian Prairies. My mom passed in January 3rd, and was buried on January 7th with -45C. We had no problem burying her on the da6 of her service.

Such great questions this week! 🙂

I have learned so much from you, more than anywhere else. I am on the path to working in the funerary industry and I'm so grateful for all that I'm learning from your channel. You are really humble and amazing at what you do! X

A cave explorer named Floyd Collins became trapped in 1925 and died before he could be rescued. "After a funeral held outside Sand Cave, his body was finally retrieved two months later, embalmed, and buried on the property of Crystal Cave where his family lived. When they sold the property in 1927, the new owners had an idea to get tourists to the cave, one that was a bit unsavory for the departing Collins family. They dug up Floyd Collins’ body from its grave, placed it in a glass-topped coffin, and installed him right in the center of Crystal Cave where visitors could peek through at the dead spelunker’s corpse. It worked, and the tourists came in droves. Collins wasn’t placed back in a proper grave until 1989,"

My grandma used to tell us in their home when someone died in the winter they were Putin a room and the door was closed and the windows opened to keep in cold until the ground thawed. She had 16 brother and sisters and three of them died when they were little and she remembered this.

I believe a microphone is near the casket or possible in the casket, because I mentioned my sister (never) had hairspray in her hair, and the very next day the hairspray was washed out of her thick hair with a more natural look. Angela looked exactly like the recent photo given to the director and the make-up was perfect ..... she died at a young age of 53.

when I die, I hope my mortician is as sweet and caring as Kari the Mortician !!!

The story Jasmine tells about "tucking in" is interesting. My Nana died in January. It is very cold and we had lot's of snow that winter. My Nana when alive and being elderly was always cold and so wore a shawl often. When the visitation was over and they were about to close the casket for the last time, my mother wrapped my Nana in her favorite shawl. She didn't want her to be cold in the frozen earth grave.

Question 1: In larger cemeteries, there would often be a temporary receiving vault (sometimes operated by a funeral home). Larger churches may have a crypt available.

In my part of NY, Saranac Lake. during the winter we keep our bodies in storage until they can be buried in May. Usually they stop graveside after Labor day unless there has not been a frost to the ground. At most graveyards around here they have a crypt to store the bodies until the ground is soft enough to start burying the dead. Due to Covid in my part of NY so far it has been " lucky" that people are getting cremated instead of burial. But due to the virus as well and cremation being so popular it is taking longer for it be done due to we need to ship bodies about 2 hours south to get cremated and they are getting backed up and may take up to 2 weeks to get remains sent back.

I think that saying goodnight to the deceased is very compassionate & respectful. When I go to a burial, I say I'm sorry. I happen to be standing on someone's grave, or I hope u dont mind. I think the soul understands the purpose. I'm not fooling around in a graveyard. Its respect.✝️💐

What a Great segment. I enjoyed this so much. I have a QUESTION , my stepdad died 18 yrs ago. When my brother and myself went up to see. He was a skin and organ donor when we touched his arm it was like cardboard wrap around his arms. What exactly do they use after removing the skin? It's hunted me for years

Many cold places have these holding mausoleums that bodies are stored in. Then when it’s warm, then they can be buried.

I have been a Sexton for a few cold winters in Michigan, and what we do is store the deceased in a locked room in the mausoleum, and Locked Coffin of corse, ( We don't have access to any key) and then we have to have the funeral director's witness the deceased being removed and checked before burial, when we are unable to bury. Also another option is a Metal Grave cover that is placed over the site and heated by propane, in order to heat the first 4" or 5" of top soil so the Backo can break through the frozen soil. But if there's a covering of snow there's usely not a problem breaking through...

Ohhh I had to leave the catholic sanctuary the night of my best friends memorial and didn’t see him again until the next day for the funeral and now I’m sad he probably stayed there all night by himself. Miss you Pocket. ❤

Love you, Kari!! You’re so lovely and straight up! Love that you care so much for strangers loved ones xx 💜

I’m curious if Jasmine is in the funeral/mortuary industry. She seems quite intelligent and compassionate. Thanks to both of you.

Hello! I live in Vermont and many cemeteries here are not able to bury bodies in the winter because of the frozen ground. There are some that do, but it requires special equipment that many small cemeteries can't afford. There is a renowned cemetery in Barre City, VT that does bury year round because they have the equipment to dig frozen ground. You should check the cemetery out online, it is famous for some one of a kind granite headstones. Many people who visit the area go to Hope Cemetery as part of their local tour. Also, one of my grandfathers used to dig graves in the cemetery of the small town I grew up in, and my dad helped out on occasion. Many graves at that time were dug by hand with shovels. Now, on to the question of what would be done with bodies of people who died during the winter.............here in VT, one of the local cemeteries had what was called a Vault. The vault held the bodies of those winter decedents. As folks died, their bodies (inside their caskets, of course) were placed in the vault after their funeral service, with the people who died first (in November) being placed in the back of the vault and each decedent after that would be placed inside moving toward the front of the vault and so on.....so the folks who died later in the winter (in March) would be in the front of the vault, closest to the door. When the ground was thawed enough to bury, usually late April into early May, the most recent people who died were removed from the vault and then family and friends would gather at the cemetery for a burial service. This was often very difficult and emotional because you are re-living the person's death all over again. The last people to be removed from the vault and buried are the ones who died in early winter. So, first ones in, last ones out of the vault. When my last grandparent died on New Year's Eve 1998, I was one of the pallbearers and after the funeral service, we left the church and followed the hearse to a local cemetery where the vault was located. Growing up, I had always thought that inside the vault it was very formal and nice, like the funeral homes were, but now as an adult, I actually got to go inside and see for myself. There was a concrete floor and metal rows of scaffolding, like you would see at a construction site, from just above ground level to about seven or eight feet high. We placed my grandmother's casket on this scaffolding, and some funeral home and cemetery employees pushed it all the way onto the metal scaffolding, and I remember hearing her metal casket scraping along the metal scaffolding. Next, the workers took a long piece of what looked like brown butcher's paper that was as wide and long as my grandmother's casket and wrote her last name and the date on it and placed it on top of her casket. We then walked out of the vault, the doors were closed and locked, and we pallbearers and the funeral home employees stood in a line side by side as the family, friends, etc. slowly drove by the vault in a procession. I had often wondered if the vault had some type of refrigeration or cooling unit to keep the bodies inside at a certain temperature, but found out that day that it didn't. It was simply a building that looked like a shed or garage inside, with concrete floors and metal scaffolding, and very ornate and beautiful doors on the front. Sorry if this is way too long but wanted to share my story and what I knew about winter burials in my state. BTW.......I've thought about getting into the medical examiner or mortuary sciences field most of my life, there just is no school for it in my area. I'm a big fan of yours, Kari, as well as Caitlin Doughty! I love how informative and forthright you both are!

I had a relative pass away in the month of February. This was in the UP of Michigan. The body was stored at the funeral home till early May. The actual burial required a machine that steams the ground so digging can proceed.

My Mother just passed away on friday. I have a beautiful outfit picked out for her. I went on a shopping spree last night to complete her outfit with her favourite lancome pink lipstick, heels, lacy undies. She will look smashing! She always dressed and looked like she'd come off the front page of Vogue magazine. I will dress her along with the young man who runs the funeral home. He and his brother also cared for my father when he passed several years ago. They lost their mother a few years ago and she was not much older than me. They were devoted sons to their remarkable Mother. I could not hope for more than to have them there as we prepare my Mother to go to the crematorium. My brother and sister said they didn't need to see her again as they saw her a day or two before she died and they were happy with that. I am 16 years younger than them so am almost like a separate family which is maybe why I feel so differently. It will be hard tomorrow but it is my privilege to help to have my mother dressed and to look so beautiful and to spend the day with her. My mother looked horrible when she passed I suppose because of all of the sedation. My father looked beautiful in death. But I told her she looked beautiful. And I think the love you have for them even when they've passed and not looking like themselves should have you naturally care for them until their last moments to burial or to the crematory. I suppose what I'm trying to say is that I think it is more satisfying and comforting to be apart of the process as much as you can. Your loved one doesn't suddenly become some distant embalmed body that you have no connection to. Participate as much as you can and you will be glad that you did. My young fellows at the funeral home said that they appreciate that I'm so involved. I said well mummy always said "Allison, just make sure my eyebrows are on!" God bless them. We will have a lovely day with mummy tomorrow and then I can say goodbye.

When I was in the fourth grade and we were leaving my grandpa for the night at the funeral home, I remember saying goodnight to my grandpa

Good job Jasmine! It's the silence of a dead body in a funeral home after wake, seems like it has become one with the things surrounding it! Like a part of the furniture!?!

I fear the idea that death may become detached. A conversation with my old boss about this we were talking about that how it would only take a hospital to install a cremation retort for the industry to change (not immediately nor near significantly at first) in a way where people no longer think about doing things like funerals or even having their loved ones looked after when they die. It reminds me of countries where you have no control at all, you get a limited choice in what happens or sometimes nothing at all. The idea of coming in one day and your sick mom is no longer in that room, no call, no letter, nothing.... It makes me appreciate that we have a choice in most countries. On a different note. Out here when the ground froze back before cemeteries kept large grave burners on hand they had a shed on the cemetery which served as a "waiting mausoleum". In areas that didn't have that often the funeral home just held onto the body till the weather was favorable. Rarely if ever did anyone keep their loved ones on the property for an extended amount of time. Tho a little story this happened ith a family member once, the 1800s my ancestor Victoria upon death was too overweight to fit into a standard coffin so she had to lay in the living room of the family mansion (they were rich town founders back then) in the middle of summer till one was custom made which took 3 days and well ... she began to stink. They buried her a quarter-mile away starting the family cemetery because they didn't want to carry her into the town cemetery.

O-H, Sorry, had to. You are such a sweet lady, saying goodnight to the people in your care. Great video.

I haven’t read through all the comments, but I learned (as we were touring Boston) that many old cemeteries had a “holding tomb” where a person was kept in a locked “tomb” until the ground was thawed enough to dig a grave. A good example is the cemetery across the street from the church where John and John Quincey Adams, and their wives are buried. The tomb has a door on it and a lock, and is labeled “Holding Tomb”- I think I have a photo of it.

Good morning Mrs.Kari

Thought that was so cute when you said that you speak to them before you cut the light out. That is exactly the reason why I would do it is just being polite hopefully they will not speak back if they did I would run like hell but they might not eat me if they did come back. laugh out loud

In the 19th century, people be like, yeah gramma has been in the basement for the last 3 months!

Great questions! Before we left my Mom after her visitation the funeral director closed her casket... not latched but put the lid down.

I love these videos Kari

Years ago my cemetery had a receieving vault they would keep the bodies until the ground was soft enough for burial

They may have kept the body in the ice house. Built partially underground with large blocks of ice. Love your videos. Vicki from North Carolina

Its when I'm walking thru the dark funeral home and the phone rings with the 3 red blinking lights flashing in the pitch black! I jump cause its unexpected

If, for example, a deceased pastor is waked in their former church, and visitation is evening/following morning, I've experienced where the funeral director did not removed the deceased but, did close/secure the casket till the following morning. I assumed the reason for doing this was because the deceased was not directly in their care/supervision during those "off hours". The following morning, the casket was opened and cosmetic adjustments, to the extent any were necessary, were then made. Regarding saying "good night" to a deceased, I think that's 100% fine....appropriate. Culturally, and depending on the faith tradition, spiritually, the deceased are treated with the utmost in terms of respect. To me, the gesture of saying "good night" is simply an extension of that.