[Vinesauce] Joel - Windows Longhorn Destruction 

Pov: it’s ww3 and your city is being nuked, but a lone Swedish fren takes your hand pulls you into his usb 5G shield to save you

Can’t wait for the day Joel crashes Windows by drinking 5000 cans of sprite.

Imagine being Joel's children "My dad is a doctor, what does your dad do" "My dad made the internet lose their marbles with a purple gorilla"

Not a single person in chat saw the " one smile per message" part

12:45 you know your antivirus is GREAT when it detects ITSELF as a threat and neutralizes it. Really looking out for your computer :)

The funniest thing about those "bioshields" is that they're just straight up a 128 mb thumbdrive with a LED light attached.

as soon as he said “superantispyware, that has to be a joke,” i lost my mind because *that is the program i literally grew up using and my dad SWEARS by it TO THIS DAY-*

I mentioned the Yale school of arts website in my digital photography class, and my professor finally explained it. It's a whole collaborative thing, where everybody has edit access. Students, faculty, alumni, hell, probably even the janitors, EVERYBODY. And that's why it looks so pretty.

Between those bioshields and the entire NFT shitshow, im starting to think being born with a conscious and morals is just life on hard mode.

The Yale School of Art website thing is absolutely an in-joke for the art students. All of the enrolled students have access to change the BG of the site to whatever they want. I remember being shown it while I was in college for Graphic Arts. The one for that day was a Kirby Super Star sprite sheet lmao

More specifically, Longhorn was the development codename for Vista. The idea was for the Longhorn project to serve as a midway point between Windows XP (which had been codenamed "Whistler") and the Blackcomb project, much like how their namesakes are the Whistler and Blackcomb mountains in the Fitzsimmons range, with Longhorn Saloon situated between the two. Unfortunately, both projects Longhorn and Blackcomb were quite badly mismanaged, with individual departments submitting entire builds unilaterally, and little if any consensus on what features are okay for Longhorn vs what should be held off for Blackcomb. Eventually, corporate got fed up, and in 2004 both projects were ordered back to square one.

11:45 "FREE FUCKSITE" This sent my ribs into orbit 🤣🤣🤣🤣

When we needed windows destructions the most, it came back

"Get god's free antivirus" so sad Joel missed that. Sounds like a weird antivirus.

4:29 Goddammit now I really want to hear Joel's impression of his actual voice, GRRM has such a weird voice, it'd be great.

1:21 I love his reaction to the price

The occasional flashes to chat trying their best to save Joel was hilarious .

I kinda just want Joel to start doing funky browsing streams so we can still get great stuff like the 5G BioShield and the Yale School of Art without him feeling like he has to demolish a new OS to do so

11:50 One of the best text to speech voices I’ve heard. Wonder where ARTAV got it from

12:01 touching the microwave be like

The way Joel says “700 FUCKING DOLLARS?!” lives in my head rent-free

Artav antivirus is LITERALLY the stuff from my nightmares. Ominous beeping, text to speech, suspicious amount of viruses? Oh Christ

Upon further analysis of the "bioshield" "USB", it is literally the end of a usb, not even a functioning usb, jammed into a cut crystal rock

5:30 and that's how joel managed to take over bonzi buddy

The echo on that laugh was insanely ominous, beautiful

I can’t believe Joel missed such gems as “Restoring Coherence of Atoms” and “Emitting Life Force Frequencies”.

3:41 To explain, the yale school of art website is: "a wiki, meaning that every graduate student, staff person, and faculty member of the School can change this website's content or add to it at any time." Its a pretty cool idea for an art school.

4:47 the timing is just immaculate, really

If an anti-malware software detects itself as malware, and then proceeds to destroy itself.. Then is it a virus in disguise, or is it a real anti-malware all along?

I swear Joel could live his life amusing himself and never get tired of it.

12:55 At long last, a comment I left on an older Destruction video became a reality for the world to see in real time.

12:56 When you clean your room so well that the only trash left is you

i keep on repeating joel saying "F R E E F U C K S I T E !", It just never stops making me breakdown in laughter. XD

I literally just binged all the other destructions. Couldn’t had come out at a better time

"I can't do a southern accent" proceeds to nail a southern accent

The bioshield website served one and only one purpose. To be the laughing stock of the internet for a day or two

It's been so long we had a destruction video. At this moment, I feel truly blessed

its absolutely mind blowing how we have not run out of windows to destory

Lol I live in the small town of that Car Ad at 3:21 his commercials are everywhere

1:00 yo is that the shield that gravity falls used? Damn, Stan made sure to commercialize that.

I can't wait for the day when Joel is so stupid that he forgets to disable "Shared folders", with his host PC, that he infects his actual PC.

*“Pros: Nothing in this program is good.“* it’s that bad

11:14 "gratis knullsidor" means free sex sites lol

13:05 Cells after severe DNA damage be like:

Notice how in 5:51 the user "Jiangmin" is literally the company's name when the setup file installs the antivirus at 6:09 with the directory of the exact same name. Also it recommends downloading "Jiangmin Toolbar" after that.

Vinesuace Joel is the living embodiment of Dopamine.

13:11 i think thats because ARTAV "fix" all of your issues, most of them were in system32

Oh my god I only now just fully realized that Vinny and Joel are two actual separate beings and Joel is real. I don't mean this in any disrespect but I've come to apologize and respect. For the longest time for some reason my brain connected the two. I'm so sorry Joel now I realize you're the one doing this kind of content and Vinny is doing different stuff

1:08 funny how he says "radiation" right after he makes a sound that sounds like a fucking geiger counter

i started watching Joel when Windows XP destruction came out and my sense of humor never looked back. good times :)

as a Bosnian i can confidently say that your pronunciation of Ilija Lakicevic was close to the correct pronunciation good job

1:21 700 FUCKING DOLLARS???

ARTAV AV: "I'm the virus?" Also ARTAV AV: "Always have been." *self-destructs*

I like how the Encryption message explicitly said that only single smiles count towards the counter but pretty much the entire chat spammed multiple smiles. Not sure if chat is stupid or just really mean.

15:00 the ad shows someone died of Speed up PC Tool

" *700 FUCKEN DOLLARS?!* " Best line honestly lmao

Glad to see Joel's still making Windows Destructions

the official java website also looks really old and like a virus site. seriously i swear it hasn’t been updated in 20 years

13:04 the funniest part of the video beginns

8:41 linus

12:39 This part had me DYING, it’s so funny to me that an antivirus software detects itself as a virus and deletes itself.

7:18 Intivirus sounds like an word created by SQEX to define an re-release of their JRPGs.

Joel has been consistent in the last 5 or so years of curing my depression every time i watch

12:12 ambatublow

Interesting to note that the Artav Antivirus was actually made by some middle schoolers from Indonesia back in 2011. Apparently the creator of that software admitted that he mimicked the code from someone else and he didn't properly credited him which he did in an updated version. Info about it, apart from some articles are pretty scarce so this thing is pretty much almost abandonware. Even as an Indonesian myself, didn't know it existed.

After running out of Windows operating systems to torture, Jobel the Destroyer used the power he gathered from all his previous victims to reach out of our reality and pull a new OS from an alternate timeline, just so he can continue his cruel but necessary task.

Something you probably didn’t notice: the person who made the only review for KV antivirus has their username literally at the top of the license agreement for it: jiangmin

I never get tired of watching this kind of videos

*Joel Slaps Computer Top* "This bad boy can fit so many 𝔸 ℝ 𝕋 𝔸 𝕍"

I need more Joel browsing through weird corners of the internet like that bio shield thing or ice chewers, this shit is hilarious

fun fact: the video at 8:33 appeared in my cybersecurity homework i wish i was joking

7:26 "The world's best Inivirus" 😂

jobels back at it "WHYS THERE A LION? **SCREAMING CAT** "

Artav deleting itself is amazing, I re-played that part over and over.

8:28 for context on why linus is on this video, linus currently runs mutiple channels besides LTT (linus tech tips), example being short circuit, techquickie etc. Linus frequently appeared on his parent channels but now he doesnt appear as much as before.

Windows 3.1 destruction -Boots up -Clicks any game -The end

Watching Uncle Jobel videos after a long time of not doing so is like visiting an old friend

I love how chat just didnt read the instructions and spammed smiles in the wrong chat lmao

He mightve made past the virus if people actually listened to instructions and only put one smiley per message lol

1:07 I love how he sounds like a Geiger counter before saying "radiation" lmao

5:54 the reviewer is an introvert, the antivirus was so good it forced them to socialise

Man, seeing Joel explore RU-vid here made me miss the dislike counter.

since nobody commented this, as of April 2022, it’s no longer possible to buy a USB key through the website

RIP 5GBioShield 2019(?) - April 26 2022

It's funny how despite my habit of watching videos on obscure technology stuffs [granted it was usually gaming], I had _never_ heard of Longhorn, and I'm only now finding out about it from *Joel* of all people Truly astounding

At this rate Joel's gonna have to do Linux destructions when he runs out of Windows and Mac versions to use

14:23 ONE TILLION

2:35 Joel speak the god language

11:44 literally made me spit out my water

I honestly surprised you found Indonesian’s antivirus ARTAV. Fun fact, it was made by a 13 year old boy and his older sibling. Also fun fact, allegedly the software’s code is taken from other antivirus. Also somehow endorsed by minister of education?

I was just about to rewatch the previous destruction videos and here you are with a new upload

I just realized that the “Jiangmin” who left the comment on the KV antivirus is also the guy who owns it.

Holy shit, didn't expect Joel to pick up on Artav. I remembered using this back in 2010 on my PC (which by now has died due to my power supply exploded) and absolutely hated it. As seen on the 'about' tab, it's an Indonesian anti-virus, made by an 8th grader (with the help of his brother on designing the GUI) at around 2009. It's mainly seen in many smaller internet cafes and PC that were built by shady PC builder at that time. Around 2011, there were articles hovering in the air about that particular anti-virus, revealing that the kid who programmed it, 'copy-pasted' some features, such as Quarantine, from another shady anti-virus. Going back to the about tab, if they're being honest, this software was supported by the Indonesian Ministry of National Education. Wow.

Joel must be protected at all costs. I can’t express how happy this notification made me

I find it interesting that he chose an OS that wasn’t finish or released. Pretty cool mixup on the Windows Destruction series. I love watching this series, both in-focus and as background footage. Thank you for uploading, Joel!

0:42 best "shield" ever it "protected" me from not laughing 😂

Joel you should do a series about destroying computers to the brink of death and then testing what legit antivirus, if any, can fix them

Once Bonzi Buddy site says "Fecal Funny" we will feel true impact of Joel

8:05 I want that wallpaper tho, ngl

I slept to a playlist full of Vinesauce Windows destructions and woke up to this how is my phone not burnt in and hot as hell