Virtuous Dishonesty - Alain de Botton Explains Why Dishonesty and Secrets are a Vital Part of Love 

I have listened to both and they never seem to engage similar issues/level.

Ive never met any of them however Alain appears to have a good sense of humour while Peterson does not

I far prefer Alain, as he who is realistic while also being comforting. Rather than follow rules outside of ourselves, as Peterson suggests, de Boton encourages us, however dangerous, to listen to ourselves because we already know the rules, and if we don’t, we will soon. Rather than tell us the direction to go, as Peterson does, Alain makes it easier to accept ourselves exactly as we are, and if we are disappointed with what we see, that’s probably a good thing, because so is everyone else. Jordan Peterson provides a map, whereas Alain de Boton simply shows where we are already going, and why.

I love that!

Check please! 😄

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ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-vRk7VFLH-aE.html He's really speaking mostly to people of his own class. He's describing romanticism and conflicting beliefs. I think his point is that you can be a good teacher in love and do it kindly and gently. Sometimes you have married an idiot, sometimes you've married a malignant narcissist, and you don't find out until long after the wedding... he's actually not speaking to the extremes but to the average person in a relationship. He's a philosopher, not a psychologist.

@@angelablackthorne3026 I agree that he doesn't need to have studied psychology for 6 to 8 years to be completely right

A generalisation: a person who only behaves nicely is not being honest about what is going on inside them. They want and expect another person to mirror their behaviour. It is an unconscious rule they set up. The video recommends being more self aware and expressive than that.

Roelof Venter nice guys are fucked

Sometimes “nice” guys are the worst... Because, often, they aren’t being authentic. They are putting on a facade, riddled with expectations of a women since they’re so “nice”. A guy who isn’t so “nice”, but real.... we don’t worry about the rug being pulled out. What you see is what you get with a more real guy, who can have very kind and nice traits...but aren’t a “nice guy” “Nice guys” can be scary. I worry about what’s brewing underneath. I fear they are the psychopaths hiding.

oh well, good that you have not become a philosopher. you have no clue.

If I'm so wrong then why don't you prove me wrong?

Mega Poster Yeah, because hearing something once is totally enough to change the way you think

That must be why it's so successful....