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Virtuous Dishonesty - Alain de Botton Explains Why Dishonesty and Secrets are a Vital Part of Love 

Motte & Bailey
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This is an excerpt from a talk Alain de Botton gave at Zeitgeist London in 2016, in which he details the problems with the notion that total honesty should be encouraged in love, and why mutual education is so important to the health of a long term relationship. He finishes by putting forward a more reasonable definition of love: being generous in the interpretation of the behaviour of another person.

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7 июл 2017

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Комментарии : 46   
@martinsimbona6145
@martinsimbona6145 5 лет назад
Alain's humor is just amazing
@beldonhuang
@beldonhuang Год назад
Indeed, love is not only built on top of sexual/romantic attraction, but also the energy, time and patience that is put into improving and learning about each other and fixing the cracks along the way, which a lot of times is definitely not fun. However, this is exactly where the beauty and meaning of love lies, which is, regardless of our differences, the difficulties we have encountered or will encounter, we still choose to stay with each other and love each other.
@nastaranamini6966
@nastaranamini6966 6 месяцев назад
oh the more i listen to you the more i can learn i think, and believe me that's the feeling of relief, thank you for sharing your wisdom&knowledge with the world
@hunbundoe7627
@hunbundoe7627 6 лет назад
I love the humor!! Very well said and received!
@prakwillem
@prakwillem 7 лет назад
This channel broadcasts both Alain de Boton as Jordan Peterson. Would be a thrill to have them engage in a conversation with each other.
@martinsimbona6145
@martinsimbona6145 5 лет назад
I have listened to both and they never seem to engage similar issues/level.
@marialondon1411
@marialondon1411 4 года назад
Ive never met any of them however Alain appears to have a good sense of humour while Peterson does not
@Birthdaycakesmom
@Birthdaycakesmom 3 года назад
I far prefer Alain, as he who is realistic while also being comforting. Rather than follow rules outside of ourselves, as Peterson suggests, de Boton encourages us, however dangerous, to listen to ourselves because we already know the rules, and if we don’t, we will soon. Rather than tell us the direction to go, as Peterson does, Alain makes it easier to accept ourselves exactly as we are, and if we are disappointed with what we see, that’s probably a good thing, because so is everyone else. Jordan Peterson provides a map, whereas Alain de Boton simply shows where we are already going, and why.
@rmcd823
@rmcd823 4 года назад
Besides Alain De Botton is simply hilarious 😂, I agree TOTALLY! Brilliant!
@gingervidrine9635
@gingervidrine9635 5 лет назад
I’m going to try it. “How are you mad?”
@angelablackthorne3026
@angelablackthorne3026 4 года назад
I love that!
@amyjacquelineg.9541
@amyjacquelineg.9541 4 года назад
Check please! 😄
@Low_commotion
@Low_commotion 7 лет назад
Great video, these points are elaborated enough, and you get the harmful perfectionist attitude that many people carry into love.
@Joey-cr4xc
@Joey-cr4xc 2 года назад
I enjoyed this, so humorous yet insightful!
@o.b.v.i.u.s
@o.b.v.i.u.s 4 года назад
*_"I've ruined my life; I've married an idiot!"_* 🤣 🤣 🤣
@Heirphoria13
@Heirphoria13 3 года назад
Glad I found this, comedians are short supply today.
@davidkepke1435
@davidkepke1435 5 лет назад
Im starting to think that psychologists don’t really know any of the answers to any of this.
@zahrahammad8100
@zahrahammad8100 6 лет назад
I love him ❤❤❤
@karlahnee
@karlahnee 5 лет назад
Pure gold
@honestfungus
@honestfungus 4 года назад
hey. they have this in video
@cineoitoum
@cineoitoum 6 лет назад
"Most adults look like adults"
@ponderatulify
@ponderatulify 7 лет назад
What about attraction.
@ZukunftBilden
@ZukunftBilden 7 лет назад
How do you create an audio Animations like the one in this video?
@dcupmusic
@dcupmusic 7 лет назад
adobe after effects
@shafiqhahefandi5701
@shafiqhahefandi5701 7 лет назад
You laugh, but it's true
@majasimic8484
@majasimic8484 2 года назад
A
@practicalintuition4030
@practicalintuition4030 5 лет назад
Less than one minute into the video and I already don't agree. I don't agree that humans are always on the brink of insanity. A few more minutes into it and I just feel like he's rambling without getting to any kind of point.
@thecastle09
@thecastle09 6 лет назад
Ugh:(!!!!!
@TheFrygar
@TheFrygar 7 лет назад
Is this the guy who got absolutely demolished and embarrassed by Steven Pinker in that debate a while back?
@angelablackthorne3026
@angelablackthorne3026 4 года назад
ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-vRk7VFLH-aE.html He's really speaking mostly to people of his own class. He's describing romanticism and conflicting beliefs. I think his point is that you can be a good teacher in love and do it kindly and gently. Sometimes you have married an idiot, sometimes you've married a malignant narcissist, and you don't find out until long after the wedding... he's actually not speaking to the extremes but to the average person in a relationship. He's a philosopher, not a psychologist.
@yoyoclodie
@yoyoclodie 4 года назад
@@angelablackthorne3026 I agree that he doesn't need to have studied psychology for 6 to 8 years to be completely right
@roelofventer1729
@roelofventer1729 7 лет назад
As a person who suffers from "nice guy syndrome" I find this very confusing and not very helpful.
@serene207
@serene207 7 лет назад
A generalisation: a person who only behaves nicely is not being honest about what is going on inside them. They want and expect another person to mirror their behaviour. It is an unconscious rule they set up. The video recommends being more self aware and expressive than that.
@thecastle09
@thecastle09 6 лет назад
Roelof Venter nice guys are fucked
@Alphacentauri819
@Alphacentauri819 4 года назад
Sometimes “nice” guys are the worst... Because, often, they aren’t being authentic. They are putting on a facade, riddled with expectations of a women since they’re so “nice”. A guy who isn’t so “nice”, but real.... we don’t worry about the rug being pulled out. What you see is what you get with a more real guy, who can have very kind and nice traits...but aren’t a “nice guy” “Nice guys” can be scary. I worry about what’s brewing underneath. I fear they are the psychopaths hiding.
@gaiagaia6353
@gaiagaia6353 7 лет назад
We all have the ability for telepathy but our bodies and minds have been poisoned by societies rules and beliefs.
@megaposter2437
@megaposter2437 7 лет назад
If you've seen one school of life episode you've seen all of them, and listening to this is also unnecessary.
@meinungabundance7696
@meinungabundance7696 7 лет назад
oh well, good that you have not become a philosopher. you have no clue.
@megaposter2437
@megaposter2437 7 лет назад
If I'm so wrong then why don't you prove me wrong?
@user-kb7oe5wr7c
@user-kb7oe5wr7c 6 лет назад
Mega Poster Yeah, because hearing something once is totally enough to change the way you think
@kinkyplunk
@kinkyplunk 6 лет назад
That must be why it's so successful....
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