*teach sighs heavily. Looking at lesson plan. The words teach how not to be a cannibal in bold text.* *Teacher sighs heavily once more. Gets up faces the hordes of children. Rolls his eyes and starts lesson.*
Fabious Bile brooded on the command throne of his battle barge, his needle tips fingers drumming on the arm of the chair - a messenger twitched at his feet, coughing up black ichor. Bile reached down to the scrap of parchment at his feet and read the words again and raged at his cowering advisors "Who, by all the hells, is this Baldermort and what does this message mean?" he spat. 'It's in old Terran' volunteered a nervous minion. It says "Whatever happens today, make sure you make time to have fun." 'The, err, quote ends'. It was the minions last words.
Fabius Bile is, in my eye at least, the most comedic character concept in the whole of 40k. He's a hulking, powerful, well trained super human who also happens to be a scientific genius and tremendous nerd. He looks like if someone put Igor in suit of power armor and then draped a lab coat over him. It's such a clash of tropes and archetypes it's more absurd then subversive.
Without reading the books to flush out his character and motives, Fabius is simply a Dr Frankstein stereotype...but he is so much more than that! He constantly fights the urge to unite and ‘fix’ what the 3rd Legion currently has become and perhaps crush Abaddon mortal tyranny in the Warp (along with nearly other living or undead faction wanting him dead). I welcome this much needed lore and play style onto the tabletop.
@Jary de Haay Fabius Bile put his "new men" into custody of an Alpha legionnaire named Pero to save his "children" from the Dark Eldar (see: "Manflayer" by Josh Reynolds)
You ever think the emperor just worked at a fast food chain for shits and giggles? Like imagine the most swole man handing you your chicken nuggies and diet bepsi.
Brilliant as always you do the lore of 40k a service that no one can match apart from Major kill each of your styles my be different you have both made 40k fun for me once more
Im going to be 100% honest. I actually like how sometimes you repeat something or misspeak. It makes these pieces your narrate more organic. More interesting. I never know to what extant you edit these or whether you do the whole piece in one go (which would be astounding). You are by far my fav source of 40k lore.
Perhaps Bald is an agent of the alpha legion , deceiving and scheming where he wants , you are nothing but just another victims of baldermorts devious Tricks . He may claim to be a follower of the Emperor but he is not , nooo ! He is but a follower of tzeentch , and master of lies and disguise ! For I must tell you that the accounts of storys he shares at the start of these records is nothing but made up ! Even the voices he forges by himself ! He can sound like an commissar in one moment and like space marine in the next ! I assure you that the inquisition is on his trail but as of yet he has evaded all attempts to stop him. But I assure you , the Emperors justice will emerge victorious ...
@@yorneustein7851 You state that as if you believe being caught is an issue, and not the next step in his masterful plan... Beware the devious and fear the unknown, for those are the most dangerous prey.
Due to my feed being choked with 40k subscriptions, I sometimes click an update before I even see what channel it is. So I guess the "F&^%k yeah!" I exclaimed upon seeing it was Baldermort kind of settles which of them is my favorite. >.> You're the best my dude, keep 'em coming.
Now you've gone and made me want to run Chaos Marines in Kill Team! Of course, the two parter on the Noise Marines had me thinking about it, but this is the icing on the cake as we say in Texas. :)
A fine way to wake up, relax, and prepare for work :) thank you Brother Baldermort, I appreciate the work you do to educate us on the factions, races, units, and wargear of this marvelous hobby we all share :)
Baldermort, my kind sir, you set the bar so high for every other serious 40k channel every time you upload. Can you do an episode or two on the Officio Assassinorum and the different temples and clades?
Leave it to Bile to absolutely infuriate an entire chaos Legion, a Shield Captain and to bring about the end of a renegade warband in just a few days! Truly an overachiever!
And then, I shit you not, he turned him into a pickle. He called him Pickle Rick. It was the funniest shit I've ever seen-A Fabius Bile acolyte talking about the disposal of one of the many clones of Ferrus Manus
Dude I love your vids so much. It’s so rare to have such quality content delivered so rapidly. Is there any possibility of you making black library audiobooks or better yet your own work? ❤️u baldybabes
Yeah, loving the Fabulous Lore...I'm working on a new 9th ed army list (and shopping list) to make a Creations of Bile army variation to my Emperor's Children army...I got to take a Troop tax of 3 'Enhanced' Chaos Marines (as my noise Marines dont count as troops in this list) but look forward to making some interesting conversions for Biles personal body guards...and perhaps a Failed 'but still useful' Primarch Experiment (Deamon Prince)...
This oozes with extravagant adjectives as though the likes of the plague father and she who thirsts themselves had conspired to manipulate us all into dull eyed enthralment. So gleefully we walk again and again into the shadow of this most malodorous maledictum.
That image of the female Assassin cadre is amazing, especially seeing as it includes the Venenum and Vanus assassins that don't normally see front line service. Where did you find it? Also, great reading of the lore. When I first read that I was fully hoping for Bile to get his own sub faction for 9th Edition because he doesn't really fit with the rest of the Emperor's Children or any of the other Legions for that matter. I'm also interested to see what the fruits of his new experiments will be given the err... 'ingredients' he has procured.
The one of the most infamous traitor of the Emperor Children, Fabious Bile. I had the displeasure in encountering this mad genius, and one whose ambitions could match that of a Primarch. The War of the Spider shows us that he has no friends, or allies within the realm of Chaos, but still not even the Emperor’s own Companions were enough to stop him. He was able to create several horrible monsters or experiments that haunt the Humanity in the shadows, he recreate two of the traitor Primarchs, and he was deadly in his works that he the Dark Eldar had to erase his memories of their work within his mind. Now he hold the body of one of the most powerful individuals within the Imperium, one would would be rightfully terrify with this mad genius loose within the Galaxy.
Cool story! Just one issue... The crack of a rifle is the sound of the bullet breaking the sound barrier. IE the bullet arrives before the sound. No way for a psyker to hear the rifle in time to blast the bullet mid flight.
I really appreciate how you covered this story. Though after listening to it I can't help but think that it was rather pointless and only existed to prop up Fabius bile. Which he didn't really need
Seeing Fabius's mad smile while walking with his pimp stick makes it hard to hate the guy, and the fact of his millennia old age makes him like a fine aged poisonous wine with a rich and amusing history.
Good and evil are constructs, but it's a fool who disregards any powerful construct in a universe like 40K. This is what the emperor knew and why he was so feared by choas as well as why he is such profound inigma to all perhaos even to himself.
Fun story and well narrated but there's a few problems with it. Largest of which is, what is up with the Custodes? Do they follow Ninja Law where one Custodes can wipe out an entire chapter but a hundred of them can't kill a single marine, or does GW have a new rule where they lose 90% of their effectiveness when they're near a named character? Also, how was Typhus able to teleport in a room full of Sisters of Silence? I know Jurgen's the only Blank that can actually effect Pzykers but that ending was getting ridiculous.
@@baldermort Yeah I figured it was their story not yours, your storys tend to be way more consistent and don't usually have massive plot-holes. It's got to feel weird doing these videos while knowing you're a better writer than half the guys at Black Library. And that you know the lore better than the guys who created it.
