Archaon has received a shopinglist from the gods! and this is the tale of his mighty adventures and impenetrable* plot armour! Intro by Henrik Sigeman / archwarhammer *armour may be entirely negated by a kick to the cock
"Most devout follower of Sigmar" *Doesn't immediately get an answer from a statue* -> *Does a complete 180 and becomes the everchosen of chaos* Ah, yes.. very devout.
The armor was impervious to any blow, but poor Archaon never realized that the codpiece was improperly braced. So when Grimgor's mighty boot did ascend into the crotch the everchosen's armor held admirably...before transferring the force directly into Archaon's balls. The Armor was completely unscathed, but no armor in the world could not protect the man inside from a ball-bustingly painful explanation of Newton's first law.
Sigmar looked down on the puny human begging for a sign, he looked into the mans future saw him let a massive multi-ton orc sneak up behind him and kick him in the balls. By the time sigmar finishes laughing he realizes archaon has already left, then he shrugs his godly shoulders and says. "eh whats the worst that could happen?"
Khorne: The Armor needs spikes! Tzeentch: The Armor needs enchantments that protect the user from all matters of damage Nurgle: The Armor needs rotting skulls on it! Slaanesh: The Armor needs crotch protection. The one time Khorne, Tzeentch, and Nurgle don't listen to Slaanesh :P
Honestly i think if anything Slaanesh would take the armor out cause walking around with your junk exposed in battle is being a degenerate. Slaanesh likes degeneracy.
@@JunoneMaster3000 that's when not in battle at least Slaneesh at least understood to protect those reproductive organs( yes organs for a single slaneeshi follower).
@@barrybend7189 In 40K, Slaanesh blessed the Emperor's Children with the ability to have their sense of touch work with their power armor. This was because the EC fighting the other Traitor Legions without any armor, and thus too many were dying.
Tanall "OY GORK" "YEAH MORK?" "YA SEE DAT GIT DOWN DER IN DA SPIKY ARMOR?" "YEP" "LETS 'AVE GRIMGOR KICK'IM IN DA COCK!!!" (Khorne and the other gods burst through the fabric of reality) WE AGREE (Slaanesh)ME MORE SO THEN OTHERS
Actually Archaon essentially wanted to do the 40k Cabal's plan in Fantasy, basically enabling the 4 to destroy the world, to then have them die from shock, and starvation. from lack of souls and emotion. In Age of Sigmar, Archaon discovered though he was WRONG, and now plots other things to destroy the Chaos Gods, like enslaving the God Beasts. And kill other Gods too. Archaon then wants to rule the Multiverse without Gods, with him leading mortals into a Golden Age without Gods. Many have commented on how similar this both to the Emperor of Mankind and Malal/Malice. But maybe why you ask, Gods of Chaos, chise a person who hates them so much, as their Everchosen? Well, they are Gods of CHAOS. Also, trolling Archaon, when he discovered the Chaos Gods survived the destruction of the Old World, was also worth it XD.
Charlie Clifton-Brown well, I mean, he is the everchosen. There is little he can actually do to stop his fate. Arch's suggestion of just bashing his head in probably wouldn't have even worked, because the gods themselves would have had someone discover him and heal him from his injuries. So, yeah, the only way to spite fate in this scenario is to follow it blindly so that you can at least try to destroy the gods by getting close to them. It is like the theory that Abbadon is trying to help the emperor succeed in his plan by trying to destroy the Golden Throne, allowing for the Emperor to fully recover from his wounds. They are both trying to accomplish their goals while also following the plans of their enemy blindly.
@@JohnDoe-xv9du they make him survive and he just keeps trying to kill himself...I mean they probably don't have enough influence to completely stop him from doing it
So Archaon became Archaon because Archaon read a book about Archaon and decided that Archaon needed to be stoped but then he found out that Archaon was Archaon and so Archaon became Archaon?
Yeah pretty much. Since he is "blessed" by all four gods, Khorne with his martial prowess, Tzeench with sorcerery, Nurgle with resilience and durability, I often say to people "Dont be surprised if under that helmet he looks like a pretty boy from a boy band in the 1990s, or an anime pretty boy swordsmen, after all, slaanesh blessed him as well LOL. Would be a great way to shock people. Archaon- Lord of the "Bye-bye-bye WOO!"!
*Malekith - My wife is also my mom !* *Mazdamundi - The Hitler of Warhammer* *Valten - Had the most ironic death ever* *Sigvald - Is fabulous* *Teclis - Op-ness incarnated* *Jeanne of Lyonesse - Cool character, but got replaced by Aquaman*
That glorious feel when you are playing Total War and Archaon, Kholek, Sigvald and Everwatcher descent upon the realms of south with laugh. Only to do a poker face and look at your 9 assembled undead armies and Mannfred saying "well... better prepare thy anus, son".
Dude just camp at the choke point in the south of the chaos wastes.My little Fredy and his undead friends butchered like one third of their armies there.
Yeah, he does try to kill himself in the book. In fact, that's his first reaction. And it's not just the fact that his dad was a Varg that made him do it, upon discovering his ancestry he literally goes "proof of nothing", it's the conception along with everything else in the book that convinces him of his destiny. More to the point, he actually succeeds in killing himself. Unfortunately for him, the Chaos Gods aren't having it and bring him back to life anyway.
as good as the story is, I honestly dont like when fantasy universes have an "end of the world." it makes everything else feel a little pointless, and it removes the possibility of expanding the story indefinitely as factions and races change, develop, and wage war. i dunno, maybe thats just me though...
I love the thought that in games workshops fantasy, their Achilles is Archaon and his heel is his balls. Best. wrighting. ever. Also, Grimgore is best orc warboss, just the mear thought of a 10ft tall bag of muscle meat and ill temperament kicking someone in the groin with spikey, steal tow boots makes my balls quiver, o the terror.
After reading Everchosen and Lord of Chaos by Rob Sanders, I have an explanation of why Diedrick didn't kill him. Be'lakor is as much his father as the northman. Archaon has "died" several times in the books, from getting plague as a child, from attempting suicide, etc. However Be'lakor refuses to let him die. That's why he didn't just bash his brains out against the statue of Sigmar. He'd already tried hanging himself but Be'lakor wouldn't allow him to die.
We could say that good old Diedrick at least tried, I mean, come on, most heroes could get away by eating a bullet when about the get corrupted, in Diedrick's case he couldn't even get that, I am used to see a lot of unfair things done by GW, but that was too far.
Arent the only real gods in the old world chaos? Slaanesh gives you bad demon bitches, Nurgle gives you immortality, Khorne gives you fearlessness, Tzeentch gives you wisdom. Sigmar gives you goofy armor and a fucking hammer.
"Real" gods is a bit debatable. The Old Ones were functionally gods, and are worshipped by the Lizardmen. Sigmar, even discounting that one series of books whose name I shall not mention, at least seems to have some amount of divine power as apparently prayers to him were answered to at least a degree. At least a couple of the Elven gods were known to exist; Khaine was known to fight Chaos when it suited him.
Sure demon bitches be nice, immortality is great, when you not spending all the time rotting, fearlessness is nice n all, and sure widom can be nice... But i need a hammer to nail my house together.... HAIL SIGMAR!
Considering he could shatter all the bones in the body of a Sigmarite priest with a mere backhand of it, it does not seem like an ordinary shield to me... :/
Just call him...Archie. I love how you tell the story about Archie's balls getting kicked from behind by Grimgor :D I just imagine that in the first battle of Lord of the Rings. Some Orc sneaking behind Sauron to kick his balls. That would be great in some Monty Python styled parody about epic fantasy stories. I love it.
Archaons plot armor is nothing but a thin sheet of paper compared to that of Grimgor Ironhide. His plot armor surpasses tectonic plates as far as thickness is concerned.
17:45 Best I can figure is that the Ork's WAAAGH thing kicked in. Because Grimgore believed it would work, it did. Assuming that exists in the Warhammer universe as well.
I must say going from other 40k and fantasy lore channels to arch's is quite strange. Namely the fact that arch actually presents information in a creative and fun way while including metaphors and side notes (like the whole batman piece) rather than just blankly spouting information, hats off to you my friend.
However... I can't help but feel that he voluntarily misinterpret some informations when it suits him. Granted, I am not sure of it myself (It could be just an honest mistake from his part !), but... the possibility _could_ exist. ;/
Grimgor: "hold dat mushroom brew will yah? I'm try'n to be all sneaky like... NO DONT DRINK 'IT!" Archon: "okay I'll just set down my future seeing device and go kill that guy now- *KICK* AAAAooooooAAAAUUUGGGHH!~" Grimgor: **furious laughter**
The reason that Belakor crowned Archaon even though he wanted the crown himself was that he was cursed by the Chaos Gods to forever crown the everchosen as a punishment for his arrogance. He did possess an everchosen once but when he tried to grab the crown of domination he couldnt and got pissed and destroyed the everchosens body and went back to the pathways to continue guarding the crown
Arch, Archaon wasn't introduced in Storm of Chaos, but in the 5th editio book "Warhammer Armies: Champions of Chaos", published in 1998. It introduced several other interesting characters, although many of them like Dechala or Azazel, were forgotten until The End Times. Also Arch, Archaon essentially wanted to do the 40k Cabal's plan in Fantasy, basically enabling the 4 to destroy the world, to then have them die from shock, and starvation.
@@asonofhoruslegionary Too bad it was completly ignored during the End Times. I would've loved to see the Chaos Gods going, like: *_"Wait, no, you can't just destroy the Old World! We need that!"_* "Ha, ha, Lord of the End Times go bbrrrr!"
@@Archon3960 yeah that would have been amazing if done well. Imagine if the gods are behind him until he activated the rift in middenhiem which starts destroying the world not with a bang but with a slow and gradual death starting at the chaos wastes which is killing everything mortal. The damage would start off minor since they are emptied of champions due to the end times but it would gain the god’s concern. at which point Slannesh would flip to trying to stop Archaon since he/she/it likes having us around. Khorne would flip ether in a situation similar to the siege of Praag (Azavar Kulls time) where Khorne’s warriors defended the city due to the sheer challenge, blood and glory to be gained; accept this time it would be defending the world so more blood would continue to be spilled even after the end times . Tzheench is the hardest to determine by nature but he could definitely play both sides. As for Nurgle I doubt he’d flip as easily as Slannesh but he could flip when his plagues are destroyed by the gates consuming his territory. In the end it would be Archaon and undivided/ loyal to him vs everyone which may culminate with a battle in Middenhiem that could end in two ways. 1st. Since the gates are activated Archaon losing is moot point (even he is not that good took beat such a force rising against him) unless they are shut down. For this ending let’s assume they are not and Mannfred still makes the dumb choice to doom us all. Now I’m going to mention AOS lore (yes I know just hear me out before you do anything rash please) In AOS Archaon’s hatred for the chaos is more at the forefront then something only hinted at here or there. he has his own order of Chaos Champions that are loyal to Him over the Gods and his knee is literally in the realm of chaos as a giant middle finger to the four (I remember in the book Scourge of Fate they brought out a bunch of prisoners 800 I think but don’t completely remember and smashed their skulls in. Yeah Khorne is probably not happy about that and they do similar shit every day to show the gods they are not puppets.) anyway the end times occurring in some fashion like I stated above could have made some foundation for this in AOS rather then it coming out of left field. 2. Now here’s the fun part say the writing isn’t terrible and Mannfred doesn’t kill everyone Archaon would lose out of sheer numbers and the renaming marked chaos warriors would ether back off or die out but there is a problem. The fact the chaos gods and their followers seemed to be “helping” the order factions may cause some of the remaining populace to doubt weather these gods are entirely malevolent and when the rebuilding begins we could have seen some factions fall to chaos ether overtly or in secret and venerate the gods as perhaps idealized versions of themselves and most of the world would fall for the trick and the worship may even overshadow other cults such as Sigmar in some case’s. Archaon is defeated but the chaos gods by their insidious nature still get what they want as most of those who remain are now puppets for their amusement and their power grows stronger then ever.
I advise you start with this one: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-eVqSw8UqXEA.html Maybe not the best, but certainly one of the funniest. I love angry Arch! :D
You can imagine all the other gods of chaos laughing at the poor bastard that came up with each trial. Especially since the blood god did his usual thing and just threw an even bigger brute at the problem.
Well, yes. It is written άρχων, but the word Archaon is also very close to αρχαίος, which means ancient. The first time I heard his name I tought it meant "the ancient one".
Heh, actually makes what my generic general in Total War Warhammer actually seem pretty impossible. Not only did he kill a Shaggoth, Sigvald, 2 Giants, 12 trolls, and a Greater Daemon of Tzeentch, but he killed this fucker in single combat, along with the others. I will just say it would appear CA didn't like the End Times either if that is even POSSIBLE : P
Aside from Grimgor being "Da best", is there a reason why the Eye didn't prompt Archaon to move is "squishier parts" out of the way of the Greenskin's bemetalled foot?
Well, if there's one nice thing I can say about Archaon, it's that he actually succeeded in destroying the world of his franchise. He still has more points than Failbadon in that regard.
"I renounce the gods of the south and denounce the gods of the north. So I shall quest to become the greatest chosen of the northern gods, to show how much I abjure them !" "What ? That makes no sense, why don't you go to the dwarves ? Learn technology and runes that need no gods to work. If you want to become someone's chosen, go for the Lady of the Lake, maybe you can reform Bretonnia into something better" "I HAVE MADE MY MIND, I will prove I am the ultimate atheist by surrounding myself in hellish power" Logic was not this man's forte, that is for sure, not sure what he intended to accomplish or gain from causing the end of the world, sponsored by the gods he hated.
Great misrepresentation of bel'akor here, he didn't really have much choice but to participate in the coronation from various plot and magic related reasons if I remember correctly, and certainly wasn't happy about it, given that he used to be much more powerful work entity, fuck somethings up And was forced to crown the ever chosen's, from that point forward.
Ya know if Archaon really wanted to spite fate of what he was given. He could've I dunno.... Said FUCK NO TO THEM AND POSSIBLY HELP THE EMPIRE AGAINST THEM! But I guess whoever made End Times probably made his story as well.
I bet Khorne, Nurgle and Tzeentch all cringed when their champion got kicked in the nuts, while Slaanesh is so worn out it just felt a mildly uncomfortable pressure.
It seems you haven't read the books. At least that's the impression I got, seeing as he didn't just bitchslap a Bloodthirster, or just walk out of the stomach of a dragon. Pretty much every challenge the gods sent his way beat him sideways until he managed to come out on top. The armour, while strong as shit, isn't as you say 'invulnerable'. There's plenty of stuff that has hurt him. Not to mention Be'lakor's importance in the whole story. I find saying he has plot armour kinda dull. You start with an unbeatable badass and then start looking back at how he got there. Of course he'll eventually get there, one way or another. Besides, it's not like he just waltzed through everything sent his way. More often than not he was almost killed. I mean I love your stuff, but after reading his fleshed out backstory, this doesn't do justice in my opinion, like at all. Go read the books 'Archaon: Everchosen' and 'Archaon: Lord of Chaos' for the whole thing.
Well, GW kinda cheated with the whole Storm of Chaos thingy... Can I just mention how I find Valten's death to be F-in' hilarious ? He survived a butt-ton of battles, dangers and faced _Archaon_ in single combat, lost and still survived... only to be murdered in his bed like a basic grunt. Priceless ! x) Oh, and before i forgot, what did Be'lakor do to truly affect the setting ? Not much - both in Fantasy and 40k. :/
@@Archon3960 To be fair, the only single daemons who have ever had a major impact on the setting were Drachnyen (apparently made Failbaddon invincible) and whatever Keeper of Secrets possessed the Laer Blade.
still not as good as shadow mere, yeah it nice having a horse that you can resurrect and summon whenever (this is no place for a horse my ass), but its even better have to a horse that can kick an elder dragon to death because it never died in the first place (health regen much)
greeeeeaaaaat all hail the mighty sigmar all he had to do to avoid the end times was say anything to archeon and what does he do instead possess little boys.
Pretty sure I read somewhere that Archaon hanged himself upon knowing he was the destined Everchosen but Belakor simply resurrected him. Similar things happened throughout his storyline with Belakor always being there "interfering" :)
I love Warhammer and 40k (although 40k more by a large, large margin) but listening to these videos is making me realise how bat-shit insane and stupid some of the lore is. (The End Times is just fucking stoopid no matter which way you look at it, good luck fixing that GW without having to resort to a massive retcon) Just gotta remember how awesome some of the good lore is, the Horus Heresy and pretty much all of the Dark Heresy fluff, Gaunt's Ghosts, Eisenhorn etc. But now I'm truly realising why so many people look down their noses of Warhammer. There is a lot of shit you've gotta wade through before getting to the good stuff, but I guess that's pretty much with everything, but boy it's obvious with 40k.
Sorry about the delay... Anyway there is a lot of idiotic material in Warhammer however all of the stupid material is in the younger stuff. ("Younger" meaning more recently created.) Basically Storm of Chaos and afterwards. Excluding the novels, the younger the material; the stupider it may be.
I have a special liking for Archaon for one reason: He's the only Warhammer Fantasy miniature I own. Got Archaon on foot as a limited edition for attending Golden Demon 2004.
yeah sigmar is the worst character in the lore... the end times is the age of sigmar, sigmars own world that he has created inside of the chaos warp, he lives out battles between the races for his own amusement... the actually good guys/heros of the game are the slann and lizardmen, their goal was to stop chaos and have the mortal races live in balance on the planet
If Archaon hadn't been the Everchosen, it would have been a great ending if Karl Franz had fought him face to face, and Karl Franz defeating him, but only dying in the end From sever wounds, GamesWorkshop could have done that, and had a good ending for Archaon, and Karl Franz, and most likely preventing the End Times, (most likely because the big ass Chaos Horde just saw their Chosen One die, and would most likely demoralize them into a mass retreat.) and still had a great story without fucking destroying a whole god damn universe, or world or whatever.
I bet Achaon cursed at the armor in blackorcish and yelled something about kicking it in the balls. The only thing you can not forsee with the crown is some blackorc kicking you in the nuts. The next everchoosen will have to find an additional item „the brassen groin-cover“!
