Person: "How did you become a chaos champion? Chaos Champion of Khorn: "I fought and took the heads of great warriors." Chaos Champion of Tzeentch: "I plotted the downfall of both an entire city and my warlord." Chaos Champion of Slaanesh: "I have the stamina of a god!" Chaos Champion of Nurgle: 'I got wasted, ate some bad meat, shit in a town's well, poisoning the town's water supply."
You know I was going to make a remark about how switching to xeno porn would make the commissar *blam!* you just as much as this video would but when I actually thought about it the odds are actually lesser than the xeno porn.
@@elysiankentarchy1531 Depends on what kind of xeno porn. If your watching an Eldar blood orgy thats doubly bad since its both xeno filth AND Slanesh worship.
@@joku212 yes but in order to truly worship Slannesh one must always be willing go further as to experience more and more excess as the prince of pleasure demands. For a follower of the thirsting god enough is never enough there must always be *MORE* and then even more than that.
The coolest thing a 40k character can do is become a *immortal daemon prince.* The 2nd coolest thing a 40k character can do is help his colleague become a *immortal daemon prince.* The 3rd coolest thing a 40k character can do is help his colleague become a *''G'rrhbrlbrblbr':ing* chaos spawn in the hope of being dealt the transformation into a *[...]* you guessed it. *So what are you waiting for?* Make your loyalist space marine chapter master go rogue today! *CAUTION:* Not for the un-gene seeded or easily mind cleansed. May cause tearing of the eyes, uncontrollable laughter and seizure of one's immortal soul. *Aspirants may experience* sensations such as: being stalked by the ordo hereticus, levitation, sedation, stimulation, strange nightmarish haunting images, sleep walking, sleep talking, sleep kicking, sleep punching, sleep worship, sleep sleeping. *Warning:* If your aspiring champion experiences an erection lasting more than 4 hours call you local slaaneshi doctorate immediatley.
I imagine a Tzeentch warband as completely memeworthy; like nobody ever does something, everyone is nice to each other, but people just fall over dead, disappear or have tragic accidents all the time.
*_*Chaos Champion: The Video Game*_* Choosing your patron God determines your play style. Khorne - Mount and Blade meets DOOM Slaanesh - Mount and Blade meets AGONY/Lust for Darkness Nurgle - Mount and Blade meets Plague Inc Tzeentch - Mount and Blade meets Mount and Blade meets Mount and Blade meets Call of Cthulhu (Edit: *_"Just as planned...."_* ) Malal - THERE IS NO MALAL! **BLAM**
*Holy Terra dispatch*: This is Holy Terra dispatch, what is the nature of your emergency? *Me*: Arch Warhammer is sharing how to become a Champion of something called Chaos, sounds heretical *HTD*: We will dispatch our agents to investigate, the Emperor Protects
@@user-hr1iy4nz4s nah, antifa are one of the skaven clans, preferring to back-stab each other in perpetual oppression Olympics, while chaos is Africa where you are indeed viewed as a demigod if you fuck, eat and kill other tribes like there is no tomorrow and life of a somewhat sentient being is valued no more than life of a fly.
You're not alone Arch, I've been suggesting an official Warhammer Fantasy Mount & Blade game for years, so we don't have to rely on "janky" fan mods anymore.
@@LegateRioksia I can't wait either by 2060 though Barron Trump will be leading the space force with his Thunder warriors. By that time Banner Lord will at least have a release date.
A quick hint for aspirinng chaos worsiper - Pantheon wants sacrifice that are of great value to the supplicant, so unless that particular goat was very dear to you Chaos Gods unlikely to consider it a worthy sacrifice. Your firstborn child, on the other hand, or your favorite porn DVD(as long as it's the only copy) may be looked upon with favor.
All inspiring chaos warlord Nightmare: Chaos warlord: 4 lords of Chaos!!! I have done many deeds for you: Put plagues into food of entire villages, Directed tens of "Orgii Circuses" with STDs into civilised places, Slaughtered entire cities to build a skull pyramid and Manipulated nations into war with one another. Wheres my Rewards???!!! Nurgle: Fine, here's your reward - diarrhea Chaos warlord: What.... Slaanesh: Here's my - Hemorrhoids, because you should learn to love the pain. Chaos warlord: That's not what I.... Khorne: Might as well join the fun - Your diarrhea will be very bloody!!!! Chaos warlord: No, that's… Tzeentch: And here’s my gift - during the diarrhea you will shit frogs and snakes instead of simple shit. Chaos warlord (crying): Stop! Just STOP!!!
Then malice just steps in and get rid of all that and says: here have some super strength resistance to fucking everything and a bunch of other mumbo jumbo alright byee
I followed all the instructions and despite meticulously checking every step I have proceeded to be transformed into a chaos spawn and defecate out of an orifice I do not believe I had before. I rate this guide 5/10, it was okay but expect to experience some unforeseen inconveniences.
Step 1: Petition Nurgle for favor. Step 2: Impress him by eating nothing but Taco Bell breakfast, lunch, and dinner for eight days straight. Step 3: Try to survive the worst bowel wrenching pain ever.
I think its overly done to the point noone really cares about it anymore. Nevertheless why not put more effort and watch "Mahou Shoujo Ore" its one of the fastest way to get noticed by Slaanesh.
Daemon's Princedom has one particular drawback as, once you've ascended, you can now only interact with the physical world once warp energies/ chaos winds are high enough in the area in question.
I'm old enough to remember a time before the Northern Marauder tribes (baring Norsca) existed in the fluff. Indeed, I distinctly remember an article in White Dwarf where Rick Priestly and co. fessed up not having the slightest clue where these hordes of black-armored madman actually came from. Cue the 1997 Realm of Chaos boxed set and the introduction of the Kurgans, the Hungs and the Tongs.
A magic user probably gets a better carrier plan in the chaos gods hierarchy: Hedge Wizard > Witch > Warlock Then you got plenty of power to stick a job as a Cult Magus or a Norscar Shaman. Until you get the dream job of Chaos Sorceror, and perhaps turn an Exalted Daemon.
Cryptosporidium 137 Well it's no wonder why you just said the C S word. You say that you turn into one. The only reason why Arch can say is because he's an Emperor/Sigmar fearing Inquisitor/Witch Hunter, whereas if Chaos worshippers say it they turn into it.
Given the absolutely crippling rate of attrition it seems you have to go through to become even a chaos warrior, I am surprised the forces of chaos can even find enough human(ish) servants to launch any attack of significance against the empire.
Nah, Europe is Tzeentch with their extreme liberalism. Slaanesh is in Asia (no explanation needed), Khorne has the Middle East (no explanation for this either), Nurgle has Africa (Where else does Ebola come from?).
Y’know, this was possibly the most entertaining video of yours I’ve seen in a while. I actually drew the attention of my family members with the odd chicken/goblin noises that constitute my laughter. Well done, sir.
I think im already leaping bounds.. I was banned from Archwarhammer Discord by a moderator who accuses me of posting something illegal of a gif. (It wasnt what the mod claimed it was) Despite its taken from Inuyashiki.. A series from the creator of Gantz. Soo.. Y'know.. If its enough to offend one of Arch's inquisitorial moderators.. Its sure as hell going to get noticed by the Chaos Gods.
17:00 There was a game like that. Shadow of Mordor and Shadow of War. Both were and still are a blast to play. Imagine starting out as your character and your tutorial is taking out a war and leader. From there you go around the warhammer world recruiting others, raising hell, and gathering items to boat you stats. Think Daniel from Total War but as a human. I would play that game religiously.
For all ya all saying we should declare an exterminatus on Arch for this video I would like to point out a couple things: 1. Arch is an Inquisitor so he can technically do this. 2. Far more importantly Arch is on Holy Terra and we *CANNOT* declare exterminatus Holy Terra, believe me guys, we tried that after the Eversor failed to take him out.
Not to mention, this is a Fantasy themed chaos video so the imperial inquisition has no authority to take down this guy, that would be the Witch Hunter's job
When you bring up how it’d make a great game, I was thinking “Shadows of Mordor with a Warhammer fantasy setting.” I’m getting nerd-gitty just imagining doing quests for chaos gods to be a champion undivided
So I was working an extra shift last night when my phone started to blow up with RU-vid notifications. I was quite pleased to see that it was because Arch’s account was back. So why am i commenting on the video and not the most recent? Simple, this was the first one I punched up while out for my daily walk about
This is an easy one. You go to the mountain at the magnetic north pole (not the actual north pole, that's where I keep my stuff). You pick one of the caves (any, it really doesn't matter) and kill whatever is inside and nick their stuff. Then, discard any of their stuff that you don't like (or where your's is better) and call it an offering to which ever god you want to bless you. Then you have to rack up some numbers, to show that you're actually worth investing in. I recommend collecting 100 skulls for Khorne, catching 100 plagues for Nurgle, sleeping with 50 different species for Slanesh or reading 1000 books for Tzeentch. Now that you've got their attention, kill somebody as a sacrifice to them and bingo you're a Champion of Chaos. *Result may vary. Side effects include, death, spawndom, addiction, and rapid weight gain
@@asdrubaelvect8038 Thank you for helping the Inquisition. I refer you to my assistant I will be sure to attend to the matter in the next 200-300 years.
Heh makes me wonder if it would even be possible to troll chaos.... Like how would the lord of change himself respond to someone fucking up his plans just by having the right person in the wrong place at the right time to throw some wrenches in the gears.
Funny thing is they seems to like someone like that as their ultimate champion, an ever chosen in wh fantasy since all the trials archaon went through that was personally designed by the chaos gods is to prove he can resist them, him not letting slaanesh seduce him with worldly desires in the dark prince’s trial, him not succumbing to diseases in nurgle’s trial, and him not being fooled by the maze Tzeentch built, the only maybe exception is khorne’s trial since in it he just have to kill a greater daemon which isn’t really defying the blood god since he thrives as much violence as possible, in any source possible
The best position among your warband's leader to climb the ladder further might be a position behind him, somewhere close to his neck in a good distance for a lil stabby stab stab I assume.
I was thinking or a Champion of Slaanesh OC Her name is Vivianna, and she is half eldar. She is a very powerful psyker. Her Warband is called the Pleasure Platoon. She has willingly given herself over to Chaos because of the brutal treatment she suffered at the hands of the Imperium due to being half Eldar. She seeks to turn people against the Emperor by seducing them with pleasure forbidden by the Imperium.
To gain favors from Grandpa Nurgle : drown your former leader in your own feces... Laxative recommended. I'm gonna quote Wrex : "want a promotion ? ice your patron"
You know what? A hefty mod of Skyrim could work for this Chaos Champion game, I mean, we already have the spiky edgy pauldrons and summoning things from the universe's Hell, and there's already a combat and magic system in place.
I remember one session where we needed to inflitrate a slaaneshi coven in Marienburg ^^; the guest need "modesty" to prevent to be reconnized outside so faces wear covered or masked and for "modesty", feet and hands was covered and as well as wearing corsets. now my job was to pursauve one of the shaaneshi witches to give us the information about the relic we needed.... but my Fame with dices is like the life of a Lamenter... I critical failed and ended up being entralled to the Witch. and my character started a "pleasure raid" on marienberg which did became so successful I manage to commendeer a Frigat and was made a shaaneshi Rading captain giving a new meaning to "pleasure cruises" everywhere ^^
