You a failure?! Are you kidding?!! You produce an incredible amount of excellent content in various forms that helps so many people in real and meaningful ways. And this video is yet another fine example. Perhaps it's the milestone birthday coming up? Give yourself a break because you sure deserve it. You are much much appreciated by all who share your struggles. I'm with you.
Yes Sarah. I do. I am now in the worst shape of my life once again. I’ve to start from scratch once again. And I don’t trust myself to be honest. My life is a pile of failures and I know my potential which hurts even more. This failing at managing my BED is translating into every area of my life. I’m failing at university. At relationships. I don’t recognise myself. I’m starting once again trying once again to just be happy. To get back in shape and be healthy. Wish me luck. I love this community. Keep me accountable people hahah 😅
@ hey! I wrote this 11 months back. I’m in a better place now it’s taken a lot of work of course and I still struggle with BED but I wanna share something that has really helped me in my journey. Give this podcast a try you won’t regret it :) The stop binge eating podcast - Kirsten sarfde Stay strong! Hugs x
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@@Amfkndinosaur oh! So fast! Thank you for your help and recommendation! I give it a try! 🫂
My stories: “I have no self control” “I’m weak.” “I’m greedy and gross”. After being what I called successful at recovery for a long while, I had a period of overeating/binging and gained weight back and today I returned home and had my scale and mirror as measures to see how much “damage” I did to my body and felt sad like am I really starting all the way over? But then I tried to reframe recovery as a journey, like you said. Now my story is “Okay, I feel the effects of the excess food and I can recognize now that I don’t like how this feels on my body. I can know better what choices I’d like to make. I understand some people can eat in front of the TV, and of course I can, but I see what habits I do with TV so I just want to be honest if I really want to continue these behaviors. I’m not starting over because I am learning more about myself and my wants each time and this is a process.”
I really needed this video, thank you. The reason that I dream of an end point with food recovery is because the idea of forever being in the process of recovering from food sounds exhausting. It’s not the same as constantly striving for improvement at work or relationships to me for example, because (1) the peaks and falls of those are dependent on factors outside of ourselves and (2) it feels like any improvements you chose to make in those areas are a choice. But with food it feels like there should be a finite end point that I must relentlessly pursue and it’s entirely my fault for being in this predicament. The idea of having to keep working at food recovery puts me off from trying in the first place, I’m already exhausted. Also relate to the content of not being comfortable with just being. It’s like I can’t allow a break because there’s work to be done all the time. Take care and thank you for sharing 💕
I get exactly what you mean. I keep telling myself I'm doing my best but simultaneously not feeling like I'm trying hard enough. It's so mentally exhausting but if I stop and take a rest I feel I'm not being productive enough - that clock is ticking away and I'm wasting time. It sounds insane because it is all self-imposed, no one is behind be cracking the whip. I think most of us probably need to take a step back from the chaos of life, center ourselves and find that inner peace but it's easier said than done.
My new mantra is: Trust the process. For a few weeks now I’ve been following your videos and trying to be comfortable with my food Eating enough and so far so good. Thank you
This is so timely for me. I’m a mental health clinician and I’m trying to start my own business to help people end binge eating and become intuitive eaters. Trying to film videos and create content has been so challenging for me. I feel like I’m striving, and it’s taking so long just to get off the ground and get it going. Thankyou for this reminder that I can and should go easy on myself
Thank you for posting this. I've struggled my whole life trying to be perfect. You are helping people and I believe that's why we're here. To help one another. ❤️
Thank you for sharing your vulnerabilities with us, your message definitely resonated with me. It is reassuring to know that someone else feels like I do. Thinking about just being with myself is a wonderful journal topic, too. Sending you many warm wishes for brighter days ahead!
I love this video so much Sarah. There is nothing you need to do or accomplish right now. You are loved, important and make the world a better place just by sitting on your sofa on a Tuesday night. ❤️
I hope you keep this video up forever. Such a resonant message about being attached to the stories we tell ourselves about who we are versus who we are when we aren't in a self-defining role.
I have just watched another of your videos about food as a coping tool and how we eat to avoid our feelings be in denial etc which has transformed my life with its helpfulness!!! THANKYOU you explain things in such a clear and real way. And I have been really really struggling with feelings of failure and Shane eaten to cope and just added to both those feelings as you pointed out. It was truly a relief to see you wrestle with tough feelings like that. Great courage to be vulnerable like that and you appear so warm competent and put together and clearly are helping huge numbers of people, so it helped me realize the depth of my feelings happens to other people and feelings are real and can bring truth but are not necessarily True with a capital T as clearly there had to have been a disappointment for you but to then be a whole failure is easily seen (from the outside observer) as ridiculous. Yet those same feelings when experienced by me bring proof to my label as total failure rather than exposing a messed up event or series of them but not a totally failed life. I never would have had this revelation if not for this video and if I did not admire and appreciate your work and personality as much as I do ❤
This is so me. I'm dyslexic and I think I have inatentive ADHD and all my life I've been called lazy when I feel like I'm trying so hard but I am always falling.
I'm so happy to find this channel. When i feel anxious and want to binge, i turn on one of the following videos, after few minutes of listening i got this "calming affect", not just becouse of what you say, but how you say it (pleasant soul voice & manners) 🙏🙏🙏
I feel EXACTLY like this. You’ve pretty much summed up how I have felt for the last 10 months. In 2018 I got sober from alcohol and drugs, my weight dropped from over 300lbs to a healthy 185lbs. But I’ve really not been able to stop binge eating and I’m currently sat around 230lbs and I just feel like I’m slipping down this hill, and I’m desperately clawing and trying to get some traction to pull myself up but it feels like the more I try and stop myself bingeing, the more I binge. I’m a spectator in my own life and it’s painful. Especially after having been at a healthy weight and knowing how good that felt and how happy I was. I really think lockdown actually helped me in a lot of ways and now the world is more back to normal this is why I can’t seem to get back to that place of recovery. You’re absolutely not alone in how you feel. I wish this thing didn’t exist. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. It’s truly a horrible thing to live with.
The level of your authenticity is incredible. I felt this many times while trying (too) hard to make a video. However, perhaps we can reconcile being with ourselves and „saving” - like we can reconcile fasting and unconditional permission (-: Perhaps „saving” is not the most unfortunate way but maybe we can build better support system to feel more „saved”.
This resonated with me so much! I feel like I'm failing in every area of my life honestly. The BED is just a small part of it all. I've been trying to just be and not get in my head but I'm struggling so much. I appreciate this space where I can be open and honest. Thank you!
Sarah, let me tell you that you absolutely ARE doing great work, whether through these videos or supporting your clients, being a friend and family member, a neighbour, or just a human living your life. I've been trying to remind myself of this too, having entered another phase of weight gain and avoiding exercise over the last several months. I despair too at times like this, wondering if there will ever be some kind of 'arrival' point I can reach where I'll have everything figured out and balanced and sustainable. What I've realized so far is that while I can establish healthy routines and habits, life will always chuck new stresses at me and challenge those routines or habits. I can trace my own recent recurrence to a bad reaction to my 3rd covid shot, which left me ill and exhausted for 3 months, my Mum's breast cancer diagnosis a month ago, and the ongoing inability to access non-emergency healthcare where I live. So, I'm trying to go a bit easier on myself this time, make the self-talk a bit more caring, and not expect myself to keep carrying on as if everything is hunky-dory. Sending you compassionate thoughts!
Brave brave brave video🎉 your vulnerability is beautiful, courageous and deeply inspirational. Thank you🎉for eloquently speaking to our shadow behaviors; allowing me to re-member the sage powers also available. Deeply appreciated. Glad I discovered you.❤
Thank you for your authentic self, that you so generously and bravely share with us all, on this amazingly inspiring, and hopeful site. I'm glad you feel safe to feel vulnerable with us, as that makes me think that the feedback you're getting from all of your followers, expresses how much we value you, and that we appreciate all the work and passion that you put into these videos in order to support those that share similar experiences to yourself. Thank you. X
SO appreciate this video and YES, it resonates! You've helped me see how I'm placing meaning on my relapse - a story (negative of course) about why I've "failed". Feeling a fraud, yes! Disappointed and judging myself. Time to offer myself some grace and just BE the nurturer I need - not the judge and jury. So good at that! Thank you!
Do you know how incredibly brave it is for you to put yourself out there and admit a moment of weakness? I am so proud of you!!!! If I were you, having a helpful channel like this, I would be so afraid to put my struggles out there because I'm "supposed" to have it all together for everyone and have all the answers. Admitting a time of struggling when I'm supposed to be the strong one would feel like failure to me. I have put together (through your videos and podcasts) many days now of food freedom and to admit a mental struggle with wanting weight loss and feeling disappointed that that's still a focus feels like a failure. The talk out there is that it shouldn't be important to me. But it is! VERY important! So I feel like I haven't done enough or am weak and a bad person to be focused on external things. Then listening to you talk about where you are right now, all I think of, for me, is trying to manage my expectations, and trying to live one day at a time. Coming back to what do I want for today and not be so concerned about tomorrow. To remember all I have is this one moment. I heard you saying "should" a lot here. I do too. That word feels like a punishment and I remember the 12 step program mantra of, Don't "should" all over yourself. It means to me that I'm in the thinking of what ever I'm doing or going through is applying or attempting to apply outside expectations (Society's rules?) in my life and not my own. This video does resonate and It's been helpful to me just knowing that you share your human-ness and show your truth. It's the crux of this channel. I need people to be real, so I have the strength to be the same. I feel your pain, your emotions and also so much closer. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being you.
This video was excellent and I honestly honor your vulnerability on this topic. I felt every emotion you portrayed. Thank you and bless you for your work 🙏❤️
thank you for your transparency, sarah. i often say "being rather than doing". i also find it helpful to truly acknowledge that life is messy. your videos and your book are brilliant and are helping me tremendously. deepest thanks. and love. jude
Awesome video Sarah! I needed one of your high quality videos today. I have a cold so, I've been in bed all day. It is winter here... long story short, I wasn't dressed properly 🥶 for a cold day when I went out yesterday and today I have a cold (I totally deserved it). I liked this topic so much!! You are not alone at all Sarah! Sending you a warm hug 🥰 Thank you for everything you do to help this community 🥰
Sarah, thank you so much for sharing. We are all into this together, aren't we? And it's so soothing to know each one of us is not alone. It's so utterly frustrating if the progress doesn't go as fast as we would like it to. And getting impatient only sets us backwards. As a reminder for me: I need to give myself the time I need go through the progress. Just think what length of time did I live through what caused me to struggle with food today? And stop striving, it's totally OK for you to be right there where you are today. The rest will come at its right time.
Im waiting all the time ! Waiting for the “switch “ that will turn on that will fix everything in my brain . I know what to do but it’s the how that is the problem. Your videos are excellent . Im always telling myself I’m useless
Thank you so much for sharing this Sarah and for being so vulnerable. This is exactly what I've been feeling in the last few months. It feels like the harder I try to not use ED behaviors, the more I fail. It's almost like being in quicksand and the harder you fight to get out, the faster you are pulled under. My focus has been on my recovery for so long and yet I'm still binging and purging. I know I can be free of behaviors as I have been in the past and I know all the pros/cons and I have all the knowledge and tools and yet I still can't give it up. I have made amazing progress in many areas, but my focus always goes back to what I'm NOT accomplishing. Maybe it's ok to just live and be for a little while instead of focusing on all the ways I have to "fix" myself.
Sarah, I just want to let you know that you have helped me and are still helping in so many ways. Before I came across ur channel, I was so so lost. I was drowning and I have nothing to to hold on to. I am so grateful for your content, podcast, and community groups. U give so much to the world and I can never thank you enough for everything that you do. Everyday, you are helping someone without you even knowing it.
Sarah, what a vulnerable thing to share. Thank you. I’m glad you stopped recording to reflect and ask authentic questions about where you are right now. This video is going to really hit home for many! Btw I have come to LOVE my pity parties and even have a playlist labeled that for those days. I tell my family that I’m throwing myself a pity party so I will be pouting or sullen for a few hours and please don’t try to cheer me up. Though sometimes I do ask them for help (a few sentences of encouragement, love, silent hug, or whatever I need). I can hear the disappointment in your words when I listen to this video and it’s very relatable. We can disappoint ourselves or others but that’s not the same as being a disappointment (identity). As far as being a fraud, well if your goal is to be perfect and 100% recovered mind, body, soul every moment of every day, well then yes any human would be a fraud with those expectations. I think we the community are the ones that get to decide the value you bring to us and we judge the value you bring to our lives as priceless. We’d rather have a human who stumbles and has doubts than a robot who is perfect, the perfect would just make us feel worse for not being able to obtain that. I don’t believe someone can be both a fraud and authentic at the same time and I see such authenticity in your brave video today. Your mental switch from “recovered” (singular goal) to “recovery” (process) is a game changer! What a great insight. Thank you for being you.
Extremely relatable, thank you for sharing! Constantly ruminating on what needs work and what improvements have been made and need to be made, keep us removed from experience our present in many ways. I think it's also our brain transferring the control/perfectionist tendencies behind B.E.D into the recovery, when we think we "should" have been fixed by now. Very interesting to notice how stubborn brain chatter can be, and rather than challenging it, sometimes it's just nice to take a step back and watch it, while not getting caught in it's storm. Anyway, really helpful video, thank you.
Thank you Sarah for yet another video I can relate to very strongly. You are such a strong and gutsy person and your words help more people than you know.
I am struggling to feel accomplished with binge eating because even though I’m not bingeing, I haven’t lost any weight. For 30+years of my life, success meant lost weight. It’s hard to get my brain to see peace around food (most of the time) as success when I’m still very round!
Of course it resonates! Lol. Apart from all the eating stuff I have constant worries about money, being dependent on other people, and various character or moral deficits. I’ve been trying to improve myself and my situation since as far back as I can remember, to no effect (it often seems). Right before watching your video, I watched a lovely interview (that I’ll link below) of the Japanese writer and money guru (for lack of a better word) Ken Honda. His parting advice was: have more fun, welcome surprises, and value/ cultivate your friendships. As I listened I could feel myself relaxing and thinking “wait, maybe I don’t have to be on this hamster wheel, maybe I can just allow myself to be taken care of and be a gracious recipient of whatever’s on offer in the moment…” what a relief! 😅 (even if it’s temporary). ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-OG2E8UrkAHo.html
