We Don't Know How To Make Friends... | Trash Taste  

For some reason this episode in specific felt like an OG episode. Where the bois would just sit down and discuss about something relatable and have a simple talk.

Connor was absolute far from being a monkey brain in this episode. Good talk man.

I like how connor was playing with the toy car during the whole ep until it fell at 1:29:03 and then joey started playing with it for the rest of the ep

Connor is either the smartest guy in the room or monke and I'm here for it. Great chat guys

Is Trash Taste becoming a sit-com where they're all in their 30's and the only new people they meet are guest characters?

I don't know if it is just me but this feel like the best Trash Taste episode in a while. Hearing the bois talk about the difficulty of making friend and loneliness feel so relatable and hit me in so many levels

Connor is so respectable and intelligent. When the bois talk about something a little more serious he always feels like the voice of reason.

Connor came out a very wise and considerate person in this episode until the jacking off part

Hope this episode gets at least nominated for best episode of 2023 at the Trash Taste Awards, loved it.

it’s weird watching the boys talking about loneliness when you watch trash taste as substitute for lack of friendship😅

As an introvert in university with hobbies/interests that wildly differ from my peers, along with a healthy dose of social anxiety, I can say that it really does get to you sometimes. There's always this subtle yet ever present disconnect that makes it harder to click with others.

I wanna say I'm super impressed with just how nuanced and empathetic Connor was in this discussion. It might take longer and seem like a tangent when you speak in a way that's trying to consider all perspective but it's not a bad thing. Just showed how considerate he especially could be and the way Joey and Garnt were receptive to everything he said was also nice.

We can all agree every member of Trash Taste has that dawg in them

We all know Connor as a funny guy, and we've seen multiple times that he's a decent person, with his charity streams and the amount of support he shows to his friends. However, this episode serves as a reminder that he also has a much more mature side to him, providing some legitimately good insight into mental health and social life.

I really like how Connor maneuvered the loneliness topic, he brought up some great talking points and approached it from a very conscientious angle.

Also, financial struggle is one of the primary sources of loneliness. A lot of people can't socialize outside from work, because they can't afford to pay for tickets, transportation, eating at a restaurant, etc. Or worse, they can't even socialize in work bc they are unemployed.

Birthday trauma unlocked: Inviting the entire (about 30 kids) 4th grade class (turning 10yrs old) to a skating rink and no one showing up....and I still have Bocchi's levels of social anxiety at the age of 39 ...Garnt might be on to something lol

Trash taste: Bocchi's social anxiety is unrealistic Also Trash taste: We don't know how to make friends

I hope this episode is AT LEAST nominated for Episode of the Year

Man this is one of the episodes I kinda wanna watch again but can't bring myself to do it. This episode really made me feel bad, but not because the boys were wrong or anything or shouldn't have talked about something, but because everything was so real and relatable and I felt like I fucked up.

Glad Connor brought up Mouse is still a real friend despite not meeting IRL. Was thinking about her all the time that they talked about needing to meet friends IRL for it to be considered real.

Regarding Connor's theory regarding games distracting people from lonlieness, that isn't exactly exclusive to games. As a slightly older person, I used books for that. It's so easy to lose yourself in a huge immersive world, even without a controller in your hand.

This was peak Trash Taste, genuinely interesting and insightful commentary on the topics.

1:30:24 Connor really hitting home here. As the "single friend", I often feel the pressure of a relationship being an end goal, even though it's something I don't necessarily seek right now with my career and hobbies to focus on (and of course, not finding someone I really connect with). I'm fine when I'm on my own, and then one "you'll find someone don't worry" just makes me feel heavily insecure. Maybe it's the feeling of being looked down upon or a feeling of being left out/missing something even if it isn't a priority right now. But great to hear this take from someone I really look up to!!

The main topic of this podcast is very nuanced, but I think it’s a very important conversation to have. Social media has formed false impressions of reality, where people show others what they want them to see and not what’s actually going on. It’s easy to get lonely when interactions aren’t physical, when peoples intentions can’t be fully read or understood, or when you don’t have a lot of social experience. But it’s also important to note that loneliness can also stem from discontent within oneself, and that’s the bigger issue. The happier you are with yourself, the less lonely you will feel, and the higher chance you’ll be able to form healthy and long lasting relationships with other people, so don’t neglect yourself :)

Watching Connor playing with the little Toyota 86 was the exact equivalent to watching subway surfers while listening to a podcast

I absolutely love the way that this episode goes from serious thoughtfully discussion of modern loneliness to “I remember the exact halo reach map I was playing on before the first time I jacked off.”

Listening to this episode actually made me messaged an old friend that I haven't talk with for a long time. The last time I talked to him he was in a really bad place, I try the best I could but he denied any help because he just want to help himself. Now, about 2 or 3 years after our last message, talking with him feel so nice, he is better now and despite having changed alot, we still talk like before as if nothing changed.

I think Garnt would have an amazing conversation with the psychiatrist twitch streamer and youtuber Dr. K. Garnt's story of developing his sociability throughout his life, as well as being a Buddhist monk, would work so well for holding a conversation with Dr. K and I would love to learn more about this.

Unironically one of the best TT episodes to date

Connor's take on social media exploiting the mental health vulnerabilities of others was a really wise and well-informed take. You can tell that he's really thought about it and maybe has had conversations about it with others to develop his perspective more.

I agree that this should be nominated for the next Trash Taste Awardsw. I live for these mature discussions about everyday things. And shoutout to Connor for respectfully talking about things from a different point of view from the other boys (counterpoint to "online friends aren't real friends" = Ironmouse, for example). Also, I'm happy that the boys finally popped the cork on talking about sex. And they talked about it in a very non-alpha male way that I found fun and comfortable to listen to. The boys are being great role models on how to talk about these kinds of things with your mates, in my opinion.

This is going to be a fire episode, as it just started with joey exploring how to create fire with his genitals.😅

making friends after high school is just impossible unless it’s by circumstance, like at work or something

Gotta say, the more I hear Connor speak about these topics, the more I realize that he's actually the most intelligent man in the room. He has a very good understanding of serious topics and he has a very logical analysis of said topics. I remember when they were discussing AI and he did a fantastic job at explaining what the problem was and how the technology could be abused. He had a great understanding of the consequences some of these Gatcha apps have regarding gambling addiction too when both Joey & Garnt didn't really understand his point. He claims to be a monkey brain, but he's really Caesar from Planet of the Apes.

As someone who has friends that mostly fall under the "accquaintance" umbrella. It gets really hard for me sometimes, especially as an introvert since I particularly value meaningful conversations. I can be content and have fun in the moment, but whenever I talk about a very specific topic that gels towards my personal interests, it often feels like I'll get judged or overlooked. I always have to be conscientious about how I present those specific topics because it feels like they'll lose interest. I only have one person I feel like I can talk about most things with, and not think about it too much, and I value him very much, but the thing is, I want to diversify my experiences and also interact with new kinds of people. I've had that itch for so long. I feel like I'm a good listener and decent conversator, but I'm always bad at breaking the ice with small talk with new people. Which is why I often resort back to the people I'm already accquainted with. I know I need to try more, but I've gotten tired of trying to accommodate for others. When Connor brought up how people will use mediums like video games to temporarily distract them from feeling lonely, I felt so called out. For a moment I can feel content and fine, sometimes even happy, but later on those dismissed feelings really hit you later. Thank you Boyz, as a young dude, I sometimes find it very enlightening to hear topics like those. I appreciate it :)

I need a little Connor on my shoulder to pep talk the anxiety out of me before any social event😂

7:26 Joey and Garnt having an in depth conversation, meanwhile... Connor spinning toy car.

I'm so glad that Connor is in this podcast. He always acknowledges the potential flaws in their arguments where as Joey and Garnt just keeps everything going not stopping to see major flaws of what they say. I get so worried when Joey starts talking about loneliness and making friends and then there's Connor acknowledging how fortunate they are being in the position that they are

This was probably one of the deepest episodes in a while... and then they went deep into degeneracy 💀 The premiere Trash Taste experience right here

Connor's right about the social media companies designing addiction into the system and Zuckerberg knew exactly what the platform was doing the entire time. That has lead to a lot of schisms in families and misinformation online and contributed to the pandemic of loneliness.

1:57:20 That guy put Garnt on the path toward marrying Sydney. A true unseen hero

As a school psychologist and soon to be parent, I definitely spend a lot of time contemplating how loneliness is on the rise and how to combat it. I am glad to hear the conversation was around how social media exacerbates this. I do think social media gives the illusion of connection but doesn't register as connection to our brains that are still developed that face to face interactions are the best ways to fill our social bars. Second, in this Era of convenience, we are scrubbing all of the opportunities for minor social interactions which according to studies does decrease loneliness. Interacting with a cashier, store clerk, or waitress is slowly being eliminated. Thirdly, in an environment where socialization is difficult, people are more inclined to pathologize their awkwardness rather than recognize it is the difficultly in developing the skill. We are more likely to believe we have social anxiety rather than it is hard for so many to be good at socializing right now. Finally, this is why I know for my children I will need to instill the importance of talking to others in public spaces, face to face interaction being the most important, and that things being hard is part of learning the skill.

I think what resonated with me the most of what Connor said about how many distractions exist and its impact on our sense of loneliness. Like, I don't really feel lonely most of the time but I also have twitch open pretty much constantly. Then I take my headphones off and am like "goddamn, this apartment is quiet".

To Garnt's point about trial by fire for social anxiety. I intentionally double majored in theater with my pre med program because I was like... how am I going to be able to help my future patients if I get anxious when talking to strangers? Acting classes honestly were a great tool, forced me to seek discomfort and channel it, and gave me a community of supportive people. Would highly recommend it.

Connor was on fire on this one, great takes all around

The conversation about adult friendships was something I needed right now. I’m currently very lost in my friendship groups because I stopped attending college after the pandemic. When they all went to the big cities, and I was left alone, I had very few people whom I could see. Recently when they came home for graduation, and we met up, I felt a gap there with the conversations we have. I’m still learning my way through these as a young adult, but I’m hopeful that I could still connect with my friends. Thank you for this episode. I felt very seen.

Everyone has already said something to the gist of it, but Connor being empathetic and conscious of people's different problems in approaching social situations and always being willing to give most people the benefit of the doubt made this podcast very comfortable. As someone who for the most part only has online friends it felt nice having Connor steer the conversation to recognize online friendship as legitimate.

The difference between acquaintance and real friends to me is an equal and abundant exchange of vulnerability. Like garnt, it's the feeling of me not putting up a personality and having that everything be received and reciprocated

I appreciate the guys just getting real for a bit. This is a solid ep.

17:00 I'd say money is also very influential on this. As a broke student abroad I can't even afford to go out for drinks once a week sometimes so I really have to think twice about going out with friends depending on how much I have on my bank account this month. When I was back in my country and had good money I was a lot more sociable because I could afford it.

Everyday I respect Connor a little more, he is such a good person.

Adding onto the loneliness topic, I feel like a big part of the issue is the pressure of having to constantly be interesting to keep others' attention. In our day and age; having access to multiple text chats, social media, memes, games, anime, etc.; It's almost like we all have this unconscious motivation in our brains- "What is the most interesting thing I could be doing right now?" I think we all know the feeling of talking to a group of people, telling them a story or something, and slowly realizing everyone is on their phones. It is one of THE loneliest feelings because like... imagine someone would rather look at memes, texting people halfway across the world, than simply have a chat with you in person. Who wouldn't feel lonely?

7:19 I burst out laughing after noticing Connor spent TWO MINUTES spinning that fucking toy car and was not able to concentrate on the conversation after that

Haven’t even finished the episode yet and this is already in my top 3. I’m right at the cusp of leaving a friend group to more or less strike it out on my own and listening to how they’re explaining different things throughout the episode is giving me the assurance and confidence that most everything will be ok and I’ll find my path no matter where it goes. This is why I listen to trash taste

Philip Auslander wrote a book called "Liveness" a while back, exploring the idea that we didn't differentiate performances as "live" or not until the invention of recording devices. So, 44:38 Connor has a solid point about online friend vs. real life friend being an odd distinction. Even the idea of "Pen Pals" prior to internet times isn't the same, since we have audio / video capabilities and it's real time.

This is honestly one of the best episodes of the year so far

Connor is awesome. This episode has really shown just how interesting and thoughtful he is. He is articulate enough to put words on a experience that is universal and difficult to talk about and he does it with open mindedness and respect. He is such a sensitive and deep thinker and his intelligence really shines through when he covers these kinds of topics. I don't watch that much youtube generally but he strikes me as one of the few youtubers who is humble, wise and grounded. Joey and Garnt have been famous for a while whilst Connor's fame was quite sudden which could explain this attitude i guess? Joey and Garnt each have their own interesting perspectives; Joey's shared cultural background has given him a deep and complex understanding of culture, Garnt's emotion, passion and sensitivity adds necessary humanism, but when it comes to this kind of thing, Connor outshines them by miles. He has such a nuanced perspective that he communicates in such a sophisticated way. Honestly.

These topics come so handy because as a 22 year old introverted man who goes to university I thought often if I'm lonely and how to overcome these feelings which has led to sleepless nights. Even to have good friends and be happy these feelings exist.

I honestly have zero real friends. I have a lot of surface level friendshipps, but I don't have anyone I can call true friends. I realized this pretty recently and I think it stems from my absymal self-esteem, which makes it really hard for me to open up to others. My girlfriend dumped me recently because of my inability to open up to her. My trauma and insecurities run deep

This is now my personal favorite episode, especially because the topic hits a little too close to home to me and I think for a lot of people as well. Loneliness and lack of friends are things that I have been going through for quite some time now and listening to you guys talking about it and hearing my problems being verbalized made me feel weirdly validated. It took me longer than usual to finish this episode because I keep having to pause the video to sit with my own thoughts and contemplate. Really appreciate you guys for talking about this.

Holy shit Garnt was so relatable for me this episode, social media has convinced me we actually have no unique experiences lol

I think the difference between online friends and irl is that it is much more difficult to get truly close to people virtually (although not impossible) Of course I think most people also need some amount of in-person socializing, having only online friends will definitely have a bad effect on most people’s mental health

I lost a lot of friends early on in high school and its been very lonely ever since because I've never felt close enough to many people I met or got to know afterwards. It was tough because I went from hanging out every week at school and every weekend outside of school with a group of friends to nothing at all, and its become worse as time has gone on because even with the few friends I still have, we're all older and busy with work or other commitments. Trying to organise get-togethers is already a nightmare before adding in the fact that I have know clue where I stand in the eyes of anyone.

one thing ive come across in my adult life is that alot of ppl seem to have this invisible friendship "quota". Like they'll have their friends from highschool/university, maybe a few others they grew up with but that's it and they don't really seem to have any desire to let new ppl into their circle. as someone who had a tough upbringing and didn't really start making a lot of close friends until college and beyond, it's been tough to deal with and made transitioning into a new city really hard.

Covid started during my senior year in high school I struggled a lot making friends in college since I couldnt go to class; it feels so good hearing the boys talk about the struggles we've all been through... Thank you so much guys, keep up the awesome content!❤

I feel IRL or online friendship aside, it's whatever work you put into that relationship that determines close friendship. I've had work and school friends I met often that I thought were close until I left that environment and realized it was more about convenience. I had stronger friendships with a couple people online because we were honest, consistent, facetime'd, etc. I will say you pick up on socializing much quicker in person because my students struggled with that post-covid and there was an adjustment time.

Definitely not by meeting up with strangers from a discord server, to save costs by sharing housing during an anime expo. Yes, I'm looking at you, Connor.

Listened to this while drunk & walking around a park at sunset. Definitely gave me some vibes.

26:00 Not even just lack of eye contact!! being able to TALK OVER EACH OTHER!! IS SO IMPORTANT!! like the ability to have simultaneous conversations w/o having to be like "oh, sorry! you go first!" is SOOOOO underrated

I had tons of friends as a kid but I also had a big family that didn't encourage friendships. Family was everything and I was heavily sheltered. If it wasn't a cousin's birthday party my mom was not about to let me go to a friend's house. My family was wary of other people. But I also dealt with social anxiety and never felt a proper connection with anyone I met. Now I'm 30 and though I have my family, I still feel really lonely. I don't know what that means or how to fix it because I do want friends. It's tough trying to figure out how to make friends now that I'm no longer in school. I was also never an Internet kid. I played outside so making connections online is pretty hard too 😅

Hearing this conversation feels weirdly comforting. I lost my staple friend group of almost 10 years at the beginning of this year because I was frustrated at someone else (who was very sheltered and protected in this group including by me). And we always laid a lot of importance of sharing our troubles with each other and to say when we're bothered or angry. So I vented my reasons why I was upset and after venting I always had this preconception of: "This is my problem. I just want to make you aware that I am having this problem and I would like to overcome it myself." Because I always thought that the issue lied within me. Until my closest friend in that group (who laid the most emphasis of sharing emotions and problems with each other) apparently got fed up and wanted to "fix" the problem. Which ended in a disaster. Since the last thing I wanted was to be pushed to "fix" everything, when I didn't feel ready. And when the sheltered friend came up to me to ask what was going on. I decided to share my problems with them (again might I add). And that was nothing but a catastrophe since we ended up screaming at each other. And since they were the sheltered protected one because of their diagnosed mental health issue, I was immediately villanized and shunned. Little did they know that prior to that I had diagnosed depression because of university and life in general. I just decided to not weigh them down with that because we were all mentally not the healthiest. For the entire time I was blaming myself for opening my stupid mouth. But after hearing their discussions regarding sharing information and venting and everything. It made me start to think about everytime me and my (now ex) friends shared our troubles and emotions. I was the group mom. I listened to their troubles everytime. Staying awake till 3 am in the morning to hear them out and comfort them. And I kept that up for almost 10 years. Especially the friend I was closest to. Including their troubles regarding an inconvenient crush they had for another friend in that group. And no matter how annoying it got. I just heard them out, occasionaly giving them suggestions but it was up to them to take. And now I was in a similar predicament (aside the crush stuff) and they couldn't hear me out for half so long. It finally made me realize how imbalanced our "friendship" was. And I am glad to be out of it. Lol i don't think anyone reads this whole shit but I guess what I wanna say is that the boys are right when it comes to sharing informations and emotional baggage. It's an exchange and sometimes someone just wants to vent without wanting a "fix".

I’m a psychologist by trade. I don’t claim to have the secrets of making friends and I don’t consider myself as being great at meeting people and making new friends easily too. But one thing I’ve learned and what I teach my clients who are especially anxious about meeting new people is that their success is not about whether they’ve gone out and made a new friend but their success is in putting in the effort to try something even if it’s nerve-wracking or difficult. And if they’ve made a new friend in the process, then double credit to their success of trying.

Only 37 mins and you guys are talking about subjects that arent talked about enough in modern day society. Thank you for making so many of us feel less alone in similar feelings of loneliness and difficulty maintaining friendships etc. Y'all are the GOAT. 🔥💜

7:17 I love Connor just zoned out spinning the toy car.

I think loneliness is kinda like falling for scams, a slight sense of shame if you tell someone else it happens to you resulting in less awareness of the topic

This one hit different. Some very real self reflection and social perspectives. CDawg sounds like he reads a good amount mental health.

This was a really great episode to listen to from talking friends, loneliness, porn, losing the v card, choking the chicken and to wrap it up lmao

I think Connor's relationship with Mouse is such an important perspective for this conversation. You can tell how much he was thinking about it during the episode which I appreciate.

One of my favourite episodes they've done, really insightful conversation and takes from the guys in this one.

Damn, I really learned a lot in this episode about several topics about friendships in general. Needed this episode cuz I'm at the point of my life where I don't have any shoulders to cry on, not even a family. I appreciate you guys.

I don't think I've ever been this called out before. I'm watching Trash Taste and playing a video game rn cause I don't have any friends to go out during the weekend.

Being that one friend that doesn't get to make it to a lot of stuff due to irl responsibilities, it really does mean a lot to still get invited to things. Knowing that I was thought of enough to get an invite like wow this person wants me to be there makes me feel genuine friendship and noticed. I wish I would invite others to things but I always have that fear of no one showing up and just being all alone

I always appreciate these deep, therapy talk episodes with the boys. Not just about loneliness, but even stuff like their experience with romantic relationships, sex life, how they discovered JO. It makes for a funny story we can all laugh on. But being paired with loneliness and no close friends almost my entire child and adulthood, that meant that there were so many little things in my life that I never shared with anyone and I never hear anything about it from others. Listening through these episodes helps me revisit those little things in my past and tell myself that I'm not the only who's confused about so many things in life, discovering everything alone. It helps me feel less lonely :)

Man, Garnt's experience is so relatable. I also have social energy issues, and I also try to fix people's problem when they come to me. It has been immensely helpful listening to his experiences.

20 seconds in and i never thought i could relate with joey so hard.

I can relate to Garnt's highschool leading into college phase. I am the quiet kid who never really had real friends in highschool. My considered friends were actually from my old neighborhood which I had moved a county over from with my family in the middle of middle school. Just moving was a lot, but pair that with entering 2 new schools and covid where I lost 2 years of highschool and you basically got a recipe for a lonely crippling online goblin. As I went through highschool I managed to make aquaintances who I wanted dearly to be friends, but I found that I was only friends with them as a replacement for my old ones and I felt I couldn't be their friend truthfully. It sort of messed with my head of who was really a friend and who was just a replacement. It didn't help that my friends changed without me from my old neighborhood making them near unrecognizable to me getting into crowds I don't favor and growing distant. It really took a huge toll on me and is still present as I write this. Going into college this year I plan to throw myself at the wall and focus on being present at my college and hopefully make close friends. If you are anything like me just try to put yourself out there more and maybe we can all fill the void of loneliness.

Geez, this was therapeutic for me where I really relate to the stuff they talked about and am experiencing some of these firsthand

Learned a lot from this episode. This topic is extremely relevant to me, as I feel hopelessly lonely and isolated constantly. Thank you for talking about this matter and giving us advice.

I rarely talk to people and have no friends. But I haven't felt lonely in a while. If you put me in a room where everyone is hanging out with other people except me and I see that, I'll probably feel very lonely or jealous, tbh I feel jealousy way before loneliness now adays

As someone who has only really a few friends throughout their life, I have never been able to relate to any of them because most of them don’t have the same interests as me, and just realising now at the age of 20, none of my friends were really good friends to me, I really wanted to be in this talent show when I was 14 because I was pretty good at singing and I loved it and one of my friends said that I shouldn’t because she didn’t like the way I sung, and that put me off singing for years

I'm 26, and literally all of my friends are 'online friends' most of whom i've known for 10 years and we're really close. I definitely agree though that having physical contact is really important, I'm fortunate that some of those friends live close by. I think though you can't just define friendship as whether or not you've seen them irl, weird stance to take- friendships are defined by the relationship itself regardless of whether you 'know' each other physically, it's not like seeing someone in front of you makes a difference in being able to talk, share, understand etc.

I feel so blessed watching the first 30 min of the video as it perfectly encapsulates my current situation. Thank you Garnt, Joey and Connor

43:48 I love how Connor acknowledged Mouse and their friendship.

Just want to take a moment to acknowledge how awesome and important this episode probably is to so many people. Seeing the boys be so vulnerable with these kinds of topics, and divulging so much of their personal experiences too, it does so much to break the stigma associated with these conversations, and signals to the younger audiences of Trash Taste that it's necessary to reflect on these things. Great episode. All episodes are great, but probably my personal favorite in a long, long time.

This is definitely among my favorite of the podcast episodes thus far, obviously I love when y’all just shoot the shit or talk about whatever but talking about a more serious topic, especially as someone whose gone through the process of just getting older, losing contact with most friends & just kinda staying in that place where you don’t make any new friends(by your own violation, work or whatever). The more we openly talk about these issues, the more likely something will eventually be done to combat the things that help facilitate such things(like Connor said, social media is especially guilty of helping create such a culture). Regardless, this was a great episode.

1:39:16 I am asexual and questioning if I'm aromantic so hearing the boys talk about dating and such is quite interesting. I also have some relatives and family friends who do ask if I have met anyone and say: "When you will have kids and a husband you will understand x, y, z ect." And idk how to reply in a way where they won't immediately respond with "You'll change your mind when you meet the right one." When I was honest with my moms friend that I don’t feel the need to have a partner she said that I'll die alone not knowing true love and every woman needs a man or else she's never going to be happy. I really hate the societal pressure and just the expectation that you need to have a partner because somehow people who are content without one are somehow heartless aliens without feelings at all. It's viewed as a punishment or something like that and I don’t get it.

I also don’t know how to make friends

This episode hit really close to home as a single guy who works very far from family and friends. I go out when I can and play games online with them but there are days where you just feel empty and there's no one there.

i forgot to comment when this released but i’ve been thinking about it and came back to this as it really helped me feel more comfortable as an akward teenager, you are describing insecurities that i think about daily and i just wanted to leave this commenting thanking you guys for actually changing my mindset about relationships and lonlieness