we lost our baby... | our miscarriage story 

I’m a patient at the same clinic as you, and had the exact same thing happen a couple of weeks after you guys 💔 watching this made me feel less alone, everything from the first time ever seeing a positive line 5 days after transfer, to piles and piles of tests that got darker, to sitting on that bed in the room in the clinic right before being completely in shock. My heart is with you guys.

This happened to me twice exactly how it did for you. Now I have two adorable babies. Hang in there. You'll have your rainbow baby.

There are so many of us out here who’ve been through the same thing, and share your pain. Sending you good energy.

I just had a miscarriage yesterday. I don’t know you guys and hadn’t heard of your channel before, but for some reason this was the first video in my recommended when I first checked RU-vid since the miscarriage. So sorry for you both. My pregnancy wasn’t planned or expected but the loss was devastating nonetheless. Sending you all the best wishes. Be kind to yourselves. Our bodies do such an incredible job of taking care of us.

Fellow queer mama here-I had three miscarriages last year and I’m now pregnant with our second healthy baby-don’t give up, loss is so dang hard (physically and emotionally) but as long as you have hope and strength between you, keep trying and keeping the faith!!

Oh you two 😭 watching this brought tears to my eyes. I can’t imagine how heartbroken and defeated you feel. But just want to say this - you said near the beginning how you “let yourself” get excited, and I just want to say, I hope you allow yourself to be excited for any pregnancy no matter what happens and just honour and celebrate each baby, no matter how brief it was ❤️ it is a part of you, your history, and you should celebrate each and every one of those embryos you’ve worked so hard to get! I hope your time comes soon, you two will be such amazing parents ❤️

Hm just found you guys. I have two little boys from IVF. Single mama by choice. Thank you for sharing this raw experience. I never knew quite how a miscarriage goes naturally. Bless you guys. Try again and keep going :)

I’m truly sorry for your loss. 😢💔 My prayers and thoughts are with you both. 🙏🏻👼🏼❤️ I myself had a miscarriage, so I completely understand how hard it can be and there’s no words to make it any better.

It’s so nice to see two people make a little light of it because it’s sooooo common and this is helping so many people

So sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage(didn't even know I was pregnant) it was honestly the worst pain I've ever been through. Most of the time I was doubled over in pain.

Sending you guys so much love. I don’t understand the loss of a baby/a miscarriage but I’ll pray to God for you. This community loves you and we will be here for you ♥️.

I'm literally crying. I can perfectly understand you as we also had to go through the same trauma. It was also after approx. 9 weeks and it happened at home without warning. Your video made me re-live it all over again. Luckily we got pregnant again and our son is 24 years old now. Keep your heads up! I'm sure you'll be successful too! Sending you lots of love and strength in this hard time.

Sam, you are so brave for telling this story. And, for what it’s worth, I think you tell it in a really beautiful, open and honest way. I experienced a really confusing missed miscarriage about 10 years ago (and just finally gave birth to a little son this past year!), and hearing your story actually helped me better understand some things that I experienced. I actually never watched any miscarriage stories before because I thought it would be too upsetting, and I almost skipped y’all’s, but I like you guys so much and am very invested in your story! I’m glad I watched. I feel like I understand a lot better what you’re going through, and it helped me a lot to better understand and process my own past experience. So, thank you for sharing and being so willing to help others. I hope so much that you and Allie have joy in your future!

crying with you :( I'm so sorry for your loss. you two have gone through so much, and no one deserves this. I know your little Christmas embryo baby will live in your hearts forever ♥️ hoping 2022 will bring healing and joy to you

You both have been heavy on my heart as my wife and I are going through IVF currently too. Sobbing watching this video, and I know the smiles and laughs are because you’re uncomfortable, I do the same thing. I am so sorry sweet girls! You will get your baby. You will be amazing moms. 🖤 sending you love, hugs, and so much light and healing energy.

I just want to hug you both. The way sam smiles through everything even though I know you’re struggling 💔 stay strong, sending you both so much love. your rainbow baby is coming I just know it! ✨

Oh you two, I'm so very sorry for your loss, and especially happening on Christmas. You're both so very strong and brave for putting out this video and sharing your pain. Hopefully the combined strength from this family will help to make things easier. Not sure what else to say other to send love and hugs.

Oh I am so so sorry. 18 years ago, I went in for my 12 week ultrasound, and there wasn’t a heartbeat. I just went numb. I didn’t even cry when he told me. I chose to have a d&c because I was scared, and I still question that decision….not so much after hearing your experience. I had it the same day, and throughout everything, I never cried. I always thought that was so strange. The tears came a few days later. I still think of and miss that baby, but a year later I had my rainbow baby girl. She is almost 17 now, and she is my world!! You guys will have your rainbow baby, and I can’t wait for that! 😘 You are going to be amazing parents!!

this is such a beautiful video and must've been so hard to make. sending you both so much love

This is truly heartbreaking. I had no idea miscarriages were like that. I was also always told that they were similar to a period but I’ve never had a period like that. I am so sorry for your loss. I know you will make the best Mom’s one day! 💕

I’m so sorry for your loss💔my heart goes out to you both. I truly can’t imagine how heartbroken and upset you both are. I wish you nothing but joy and luck with future endeavours 💕

I am so sorry for your loss, it's something no one should ever have to experience. I recently found your channel and am so happy to sub to 2 fellow Canadians! TW, though given the video one should assume comments may be triggering: I had a miscarriage August 2021, I had some spotting and I was so afraid I lost it. I called my doctor and she booked in in for an emergency ultrasound for the following morning. I was 6weeks 1day, and they were able to find a heartbeat, a good one too... then 2 weeks later I went in for the 8week scan, no more heartbeat, no growth- it still looked to be about 6weeks gestation. It was the most devestating moment of my life, and I was alone. My husband had to stay home with our toddler due to restrictions. I am beyond grateful to have my daughter, I don't know how I would have functioned if I didn't have to care for her. I 10000% agree with it not being like a period, it's WAY worse. I actually had our neighbor (she was an EMS) drive me to the emergency room one night when the bleeding was especially bad with large tissue masses. One mass in particular I was more... attached to, like it looked different and I couldn't place why it was the way it was. I took this in with me in a ziploc, the emergency doctor looked at it and confirmed it was fetal tissue... he then proceeded to THROW IT AWAY in the biohazard bin. I was not in a clear mental state at the time, to speak up about this, however this was NOT how this situation should have been handled. When I spoke to early loss nurses, they said they would speak to the hospital because the right course of action for that would have been to take the fetal tissue down to the lab, and then it would have been cremated. They have ceremonies twice a year in our city to remember babies and children lost. It still bothers me to this day that my baby, was essentially just thrown away like garbage. I really hope my experience has helped educate the ER staff though, so no other parents have to go through what I did and still go through to this day. **edit to add: from the 8week scan, it took me 3 weeks to pass the miscarriage. Early loss nurse said I should consider taking medications to help or having a D&C (which I was leaning toward just so it would be over in minutes) if I didn't start having any signs of passing it soon (since the 6week scan I had not had any more bleeding at all). Thankfully soon after that call I did start to have more and more spotting. But that was the absolute worse feeling, 3 weeks KNOWING the fetus inside me was gone... I can't even begin to describe the way it made me feel. For anyone who has to go through a miscarriage, my only hope is hat it passes quickly and doesn't take more than a week.

I'm so sorry for your loss, I'm thankful you spoke about this experience because I had a similar experience with my chemical pregnancy in Nov 2021 (failed transfer) and NO ONE warned me about the pain of passing that tissue. I don't know why it's not spoken about but it caught me completely off guard. You tube helped me a lot during that time and hearing/watching others experience made me feel less alone and more informed on what to expect, so thank you for opening up and being so vulnerable and candid about this, it truly does help others! ❤️ wishing you all the baby dust! I'm prepping for my 2nd FET next week! Hopefully we get our take home babies soon!

Miscarriages are super painful. My first baby we miscarried and it was horrific. But now we have two beautiful little girls

I'm new to your channel, but wanted to extend my deepest condolences for your loss. I hope that your rainbow baby makes its way to you soon! 🌈❤️

My miscarriage was so much more painful than my full term natural birth. Strong mama.

Seeing first Sam and then Allie unpack their gifts they've got for each other broke my heart into a million pieces 💔💔💔💔

Thank you for sharing even this part of your journey and all the grief that goes along with it. I can only imagine the pain you two are going through. No matter whether it's Sam or Allie now who will be carrying, I wish you the best of luck and that you may find joy again even with this burden of sadness you're carrying. You will find your way in time, I'm absolutely sure, and I'm really looking forward to that time. ❤️❤️❤️

shoutout to you guys for talking about it. y'all are so so strong and this was extremely informative.

I'm so very sorry for your loss 😭😢💔 my thoughts and prayers go out to you guys 🙏🙏 I just hope one day you guys will be able to have a baby

Oh I feel your pain so bad 3 miscarriages over here. Keep strong don’t give up your dream. The time will come ❤️❤️. xxxx

Aww ladies, I'm so sorry!! I feel for you. Sending lots of love and healing vibes

I’m so sorry you guys are going though this. I found out I was pregnant beginning of November, had my first ultrasound and doctors Appt at 9.5 weeks, where my baby only measured 6 weeks. My doctors weren’t concerned (as my hcg was 68,000!). Another ultrasound a week later showed no growth and my hcg fell - confirmed missed miscarriage. I didn’t start actually miscarrying until over two weeks later on December 23rd. To top it off, my entire family got COVID 2 weeks later. I am lucky to already a toddler, so it helped a lot with my emotions. I will pray for you guys to get your rainbow baby!

I can completely sympathise, I've had 2 miscarriages, both near Christmas!! One continued for 2 months and resulted in surgery 2 days after Christmas. It was not great, especially when we already have two small children to look after and get excited about Christmas. It was a hard time. I'm so sorry you went through this.

This is heartbreaking, I feel so badly for you. I hope that the love and support of family and friends will help to ease the pain of loss.

Sam everyone handles a bad situation differently, it's OK to cry, to laugh and to question. You and Allie are both strong people it will take time, so give yourselves that time. I've been following the two of you since the first video and I know you both will be fine.😀

This is sad. I had a miscarriage a week before Christmas too. I hope you guys receive the desires of your heart.

my heart goes out to you both. The same exact thing happened to my wife and us last valentine’s day of all days 😭 It feels helpless but it will eventually happen. take all the time you need to heal but know you aren’t alone and it will get better but you’ll never forget . It is very scary when the bleeding happens. Again I am so so terribly sorry for your guys loss. It’s so sad when these things happen. Especially after all you have went though with fertility treatments.

I have never been through this expenience. I cannot imagine how you feel. As you were talking, I was thinking of your vlogmas videos. I just cannot believe how well you got through this. You told us you were not feeling well but you gave us no indication of what was going on. Personally, I could have never been as brave as you. Also, I understand your laughter...I do that myself. I am very sorry that you have gone through this. Hold onto each other and take care of each other. (After 40 years, that seems to work for us.) Take time to grieve. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

I just want you to know you are not alone. I love you girls and I haven't even met y'all. Brings me joy watching y'all. I'm very sorry you are going through this. Prayers!

I balled 😭 in the Drs office both times. The 2nd was the worst for me bc I knew what was coming and I didn't want to go through it again once I found out. 💔 Extra hugs.

It’s so hard to watch the excitement when you know what’s coming. Heart breaking. I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing what that process was like, and what to expect from doctors when you get the news. Even in hard times, you guys are so thoughtful in how you share. As a patient of AART I appreciate you guys, a lot. You two deserve so much ❤️

So sorry this happened & sending so much love! Also just wanted to say THANK YOU for being so honest about what happens during a miscarriage, as I was honestly unaware! Can only imagine how painful that is as I’m in so much pain on the floor if I pass a clot during my period… so a lime size?! Ouch! 😣 M xo

ugh mamas. i had a missed miscarriage around 14 weeks. baby stopped growing closer to 12 or 13. it took a while, but my rainbow will be 2 in April. take all the time you need, but hopefully you don’t give up. your rainbow is next.

I am so sorry. I'm so sorry that happened to you, and that the doctor didn't explain the pain, and that it was such a long hard process. I've experienced both, so I can tell you it's not that dissimilar from labor. You deserved a lot more care, and options for pain management. Take as long to grieve as you need. Both of you. It's ok to not be ok.

My heart bleeds for both of you. Don't worry about the smiling. I do the same when I'm upset or under stress. It's got me into so much trouble over the years. I'm also the idiot who jokes when things get really bad. We all deal with these things in our own way. I just wish I could come up with something profound to help comfort you both.

I’m so sorry that you both went through this, I had a miscarriage 5 days before Christmas. It was such a sad and confusing time.

I’m so so sorry for your loss. I can’t even imagine what you are feeling. We are all here sending you love 💕 thank you for sharing your story

I'm just now watching this video, and after 8 months I still feel your pain. All I want to do is just hug you both. Don't worry, I'll let go after a few minutes. The videos I'm watching now, you're almost ready to deliiver twins. God love you and I hope everything ...EVERYTHING...goes well. Bernie ❤

I’m so sorry Allie and Sam. I love you so much I don’t want to see you be sad. Also Thank you so much for that beautiful Christmas card. It made my day. 🙏

At one point, a few seconds in probably I was going to say “here’s when I started crying” but then honestly I didn’t stop crying so the point of it all seemed in nescessary. Thank you, from the bottom of my ‘sad for you’ blubbering mess of a heart, for your transparency and your honesty. You have no idea how much you mean to me, to us, and how grateful we are for your gift to this world. Sending you so much love. Here for you always.

I've lost 4. I'm sorry loves. It will happen one day. I promise.😭💯💘👣❤💙😥

I'm so sorry this happened and that it was so painful and awful timing. I've been through it too. We need to talk about it, so thank you for that. We're all here standing with you. The at home miscarriage nearly took the life of my best friends SO several years ago. We only had the D&C option two decades ago. Big hugs.

Thank you for sharing your story, despite the pain it must have cost. While I know people who’ve had miscarriages and knew it was an emotional and physical toll it was, I never realised how much of a toll it was

So, I had an ectopic and then my next pregnancy I had a chemical pregnancy. But I literally had the same thought..like this must be a sick joke because even though I was no longer pregnant anymore my breast were still producing milk. Idk it just made me feel awful. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Hang in there.

Thank you for sharing this helps other women so much having other women share their stories ❤️ wish you all the luck on your continued journey

reading your instagram post a few weeks ago made me cry…this made me bawl! thank you guys for being able to share your story…every part of it even the most intimate & painful parts of it. I’ve followed you guys for a long time & im so sorry you guys went through this….i have no idea what this would be like..but i’m my moms rainbow baby, & yours is coming to you soon🥺❤️ you two are going to be the BEST moms.

I am devastated for you both. 🥲 Here’s hoping you have a beautiful Rainbow Baby in the future. 😘

Anyone that knows the fetus has died (no heartbeat) should opt for a d&c- much easier mentally and physically. Sorry the healthcare professionals were not good at explaining what happens with a drug induced evacuation of poc ( products of conception). So glad you guys have your twins now. And so much joy in your lives.

I’m so truly sorry for your loss of your baby!! Going through a miscarriage is tremendously hard for anybody. To watch you go through this breaks my heart!!! I I’m so so so sorry!!!!!!?

I'm very sorry to see this news, for both of you. My wife had two miscarriages before we were able to have our son, so I know the pain and heart ache you both feel. Please know we send you both healing energy and please grieve as much, and as hard, as you need to.

I'm so sorry for you both. 😥💔 Sending love. ❤

Hi!. I'm so sorry you guys went through that. My girlfriend and I had a miscarriage too in 2020, in our 8th week. Our doctor, who we absolutely love, also told me that it would be like a period. I wanted to kill him when it was happening. It was the worst 4 hours ever. After several attempts, we're trying again in one month. Hugs from Chile❤️.

I feel so truly sad for you both… I’m sure that everyone was wanting so much for you to be successful this time…and it was obvious that this outcome has been traumatic in the extreme..and so hard for you both to explain the events and feelings of those days and weeks… but brave and honest in the way you talked /laughed and cried your way though it… bless you for even attempting to tell it all….I can only send you strength and love to surround you and your family and friends who care about you…keep strong and recover together…🙏🙏🙏💕💕💕…from Sue( UK subscriber)

I had a miscarriage with my first baby at 16 & it was the worst pain I’ve ever been in even after having my two baby’s now I never forget about it, I was alone & scared and so very sad because there was absolutely nothing that I could do and I felt helpless.. going into the drs every 2 days to get blood work done was a cherry on the top seeing the numbers just go down and down.. I can’t explain but just helpless.. idk you guys but I love you & time has a plan and that plan will be the best plan you’d ever imagine 🤍 your time is coming

So sorry this has happened to you. When I miscarried my second baby the lady in the bed next to me told me she had miscarried her first 4 pregnancies and then had 4 boys!! Helped me so much. I have 2 wonderful adult boys.

I'm so sorry 4 ur loss. I hope that things get better and God bless u both!

So sorry for your loss. I know a couple that had been trying to have a baby since 2016 and they just had a baby in Oct 2021! His name is Parker he is precious. Praying for you both. Praying for good news soon!

My heart goes out to you both! ❤️

My husband and I feel your pain. So sorry for your loss please be well x

I am so so sorry for your loss! I can’t imagine what you are going through. You are very lucky to have each other for support, your love will carry you through x

I am soo incredibly sorry cute mamas! It is very apparent that you were meant to be parents. Sending good vibes and energy your way for Allies pregnancy!

Very very sorry for this. Thank you for sharing the experience though. I haven’t had to go through this yet, but I can only imagine the grief and physical pain. Continue to rest and take the time you need. You two are so strong and will make it through anything that gets thrown your way. Good luck in the rest of the journey

Do not give up!!! Your miracle will happen!!! Don't lose hope sweetheart ❤️ Praying for a rainbow 🌈 baby!!

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you went through. I'm crying through this video for you ladies

I am sorry for your loss ladies. I am a straight man, but I have to tell both of you I think you two are AMAZING together :) Again, I am straight, but I watched how you (Allie) proposed to Sam first I laughed (in a good way) at the different ways Sam thought up to propose (the matching proposal mugs, the matching brides t-shirts etc.) At the end of your proposal video, I was half smiling & half crying because it was so beautifully done as a whole :) You two have been one of my favorite lesbian couples I have watched their recent proposal videos on RU-vid (in the last 6-7 years of lesbian proposal videos on RU-vid) :)

I’m so sorry for your loss. I am keeping a good thought for you both ❤️❤️

So sorry to hear you lost the baby. My heartfelt sympathy goes out to both of you. I trust you will be feeling emotionally better soon.

That is so traumatic I didn’t know it was this graphic this is so sad🥺😭

I'm so sorry for your loss. Going through a miscarriage is very hard on so many levels. I understand what your going through, I to have miscarried three times. Thinking of you both during this time. ❤️

Im so sorry for you! Thank you for sharing your story, im sure this will be very helpful to other people in the same situation

I can’t even begin to imagine the pain you are both feeling❤️ I hope your journey will soon bring you a little baby, you so so deserve that❤️

i'm so sorry both of you. sending big virtual hugs and so much love. xx

So very sorry to hear such devastating news. Sending lots of love and comfort as you navigate through.

i am so so sorry for your guys loss, i really hope Allie’s transfer is successful & you guys get you’re amazing rainbow baby, spreading baby dust to you both ✨

someone really needs to prepare you for how painful and traumatic this is beforehand. you telling your story helps, the only hope is that everyone would have seen it before having it happen. even though not sure one can be totally prepared.

I am so, so sorry to hear this...thank you for sharing your story with us. Sending so much love and hugs to you both.

Awe... I'm so sorry. You girls seem so sweet and excited for a baby!! It will happen for you!!!

I’m so sorry for your loss I hope you can lean on your friends and family for support. If you feel like you need some time off from vlogging I don’t think anyone will blame you, your wellbeing comes first. Thoughts going out to you.

I'm so sorry this happened to you! Neither of you deserve this. I will be praying for you and wishing you the best of luck.

I am so so sorry Allie and Sam. Sending both of you so much love

I am bawling my eyes out. I follow you all on Instagram so I already knew, but the videos and the details and watching you two talk about it, it's just got the tears running down my face in front of my computer. I'm so sorry, you two.

Oh Lord .... this is so sad !!! Big hug - sending LOVE from NAPLES / ITALY !!! 🙏 !!!

I’m so sorry you two had to go through all this…💔 Don’t give up hope.

I’m so sorry for your loss 😢💕 Fingers crossed for the next transfer ✨🤞🏻❤️

Im so so sorry Girls. I know it most have been very awful and sad news. My deepest condolences😌 Going through it its an experience i have always dreamed about.Inly on my highest dreams this will happen in my life. Keep your head up everything happens for a reason. There will be a win day for you both Moms. Keep Praying! You have each other and its all that matters to build that strength. Much love 💖

i just found y’all & subscribed.. y’all are beautiful and i can’t wait to follow y’all’s journey..so sorry for your loss..it’s not easy but there is something bigger in store..keep y’all’s head up❣️

i'm so sorry for your loss guys :(( i hope all the best for you both in the future

I am so sorry for your lost ❤️ I had a miscarriage now on New Year’s Eve. The New Year could not started more sadly and I felt timing was quite tragicomic also.😢😔

Oh my heart hurts for you both. So very sorry sweethearts. Praying for you both