WE'RE HAVING TWINS! - RELAX #20 

I’m a twin and my #1 advice is to let them share their room as kids but as soon as they ask for their own let them have it. I shared a room, classes, sports etc. with my sister and we had no individuality until we went to college. It’s so important to encourage them to be their own people as soon as you can!!

eric comparing his two unborn children to the demon twins from the shining is my favorite thing ever

I really appreciate eric being so concerned with the twins having separate identities and not being compared!! So important!!!

Twin here! Things to expect: -Eric is absolutely right DO NOT compare the twins, this genuinely can cause trauma even when well-intentioned -Expect a period of time where the twins become demonic chaos lords towards each other.... -....But then one day they just might become best friends! -Plan your parties to be double in size in case the twins make mutual friends -Let them choose out the toys and colors they want instead of choosing for them, and if both twins love the color blue then just get two blue stuffed animals for example -Expect that their personalities might be quite different -Expect them to start speaking verbally at a quick pace, they may even speak "gibberish" to each other -Don't force them to be friends but do encourage that they respect each other at home and at school and don't bully each other -Don't force one twin to socialize/join in as a supervisor, for example when my twin and I got older I was the more social one between us two and my parents would often tell me I can't go out with friends "unless your sibling goes with you" ; I understand it's because they felt I would be safer if my sibling was there as someone I could trust, however it forced me to either (a) not be able to go out if my sibling didn't want to go or (b) force my sibling to go somewhere they didn't want to -Split the chores fairly; i.e. if you have a boy and a girl then everyone should be doing chores not the girl doing the "girl chores" and the boy doing the "boy chores" it sends a really unhealthy message to the twins that they aren't held to the same expectations in being a good citizen of the household -Be open-minded that one or both of the twins may be neurodivergent since you have ADHD; ADHD or Autism would be two things to look into for sure, my twin was diagnosed first and then I was diagnosed as well years later -Be prepared for them to be small or need to be birthed early--We were tiny babies! But we are healthy and happy :) Good luck! Pregnancy is hard!

I had good friends in high school that are twins. They didn’t really like being called “the twins” or “the boys”. They appreciated the acknowledgement of their individual personalities and lives.

Aww, Can we just appreciate the fact that colleen has a toddler, is PREGNANT with TWINS, and runs multiple channels and has a podcast with her husband. Colleen and Eric are the sweetest parents and now they are going to have 3 children! so adorable and they deserve all the happiness and blessings they will receive

As a fraternal twin (we are both girls and have VASTLY different personalities) I really appreciate Erik's points on how twins are raised and the environment it creates for them. Being a twin, especially fraternal, is no different than having a slightly older/younger sibling that you are in the same school grade as!

As a twin, I greatly appreciated the moment Erik spoke about how dressing twins can complicate their identity. This happened to me. My whole life I’ve had identity issues and it stems 100% from being a twin that was forced to dress like my sister until I was basically in 5th grade and able to argue about it slightly. My sister and I still have issues in our relationship till this day, and it all stems from this concept. Usually no one understands, addresses, or even thinks this is an issue, but it is.

I can't believe it's already the 20th episode. Who else has been here since the first?

Erik, listen to your gut on the individuality thing!!!! I had a loads of twin friends & family that I consulted when I found out I was having twins 16 years ago. All of the same-sex twins said the same things about loving having a playmate and peer, but most added that they disliked the *constant* link to their sibling. Never-ending comparison comes from the outside AND within, so most appreciated being “seen” as individuals. I took that advice to heart. I named my (non-identical) twin boys without rhyme or alliteration. After the newborn phase (once they began acknowledging each other), I never dressed them the exact same. In my pregnancy, my dad had begun calling them the “little guys” instead of “the twins”, so we went with that (to the point that my dad became “Guy-pa”). When my sons were born, society constantly linked them (and compared them), but as they grew, we continued to push back in subtle ways. We let THEM determine how much they wanted their identities defined by their brother instead of taking them into the world as THE TWINS. You & Colleen will sort it all out. You’re awesome parents already. Parenting twins is a great adventure!!!

As a twin, please do not dress them identically. Don’t use them as your dressup dolls. Erik is 100% right it complicated my identity so much. I was never given the room to explore my own personality or style. I never really felt like my own person, just an extension of my sister. You can dress them the same as infants but as they start to become their own people, I encourage you to let them dress themselves and explore their own individual identities. It’s both the best and worst thing to experience. You have a built-in best friend. I was never alone at school or at parties because I could always rely on her to be there. But the comparisons are constant and the pressure is heightened. Edit: oh my mom has always known which twin is which. But once you get to know a pair of twins, you’re always able to tell, regardless of who you are

“Eric’s not exited about it-“ “I bought a mini van?!” 😭😭😭

i could see them incorporating her grandparents name into the twins’ middle names, especially bc her grandpa was a twin! when u do pick names it’d be interesting to hear some contenders you decided not to use but really liked!

I would agree that the comparison thing definitely exists more when you’re a twin. We were very rarely in the same class in school, my parents did that on purpose, to avoid direct competition. So, I don’t think that matching outfits causes that necessarily, unless they don’t want to match. My twin brother and I choose to match outfits now as adults sometimes 😂 but there really is nothing more special than the bond we share. We truly are best friends. Also, HIGHLY recommend getting a “side-by-side” stroller for them, that way there is no competition for front or back seat, because the competition will be real 😂 Congrats to you guys, so happy for your family❤️

You should bring on Mama Dr. Jones! She has had twins and, as you know,she is SO knowledgeable and would probably have a lot to say that could be helpful ❤️

I die whenever Erik's humor goes completely over Colleen's head

Also just remembering last year when Colleen was sad because people who were pregnant when she was with Flynn are pregnant or already have a second kid, well now Colleen will have 3 kids to everyone else’s 2 kids 😂 overachiever🤪

Colleen, my mom is a twin mom. She said look into the twin z pillow. It’s a great double pillow to prop them on when feeding. She also found big baby swings to be helpful in the evenings when babies are fussy and you would need to bathe and put Flynn to bed or don’t have extra pairs of hands to help soothe them. Sorry about the nausea my mom had it bad too. She said just keep eating. In some weird way it relieves the nausea.

Colleen: “We’ll need 2 of everything” Erik: “Sounds expensive...” Hahaha such a typical dad response 😂

erik: “dylan and cole sprouse” colleen: “never heard of them” me: 🤦🏻‍♀️

Colleen: are you making fun of a pregnant woman Erik: OH $H!T

The comparison as a twin was very real and I recall my mom telling other adults to not compare us but that’s after the fact and the “damage” was already done. Being dressed similarly well into third grade only made it easier for people to compare us. Safe guarding the twins’ individuality is really important. Dressing them alike as babies is harmless so long as your support system are all are on the same page (and thus not inadvertently creating mental habits of comparison and lumping them together as a unit) that each baby is their own human. Growing up we were friends with three other sets of twins and we all felt the same way. We loved being twins but wished people didn’t view us as a unit or compare us as if we were one of those “what’s different” picture puzzles.

The fact that Erik feels helpless in this early stage of pregnancy yet , ECSTATIC for the result is so encouraging. I am almost 30 years old and I still have doubts on whether or not men truly want to have children. I know this may not be a common experience for others, but to have a man and father speak out so loudly that they are enthusiastic to share responsibility with the mother of their children is incredible to me 💜. I’m so grateful for the vulnerability shared on both Colleen and Eriks sides respectively.

My friend who’s a twin says that they are the most thankful that they’re parents never dressed them the same as children and they were two separate beings and were in different classes in school so that they could grow into themselves and learn to function alone outside of the house

Get Erik his own podcast so he can talk about his minivan

My husband is an identical twin, and he never got close to his twin growing up! He thinks it's because their parents were constantly comparing them to each other (and still do). They were compared a lot more to each other, than they were to their other siblings. They also were dressed in matching outfits, and my husband said he wishes he would of been viewed more as his own person, rather than being viewed only as a twin.

i’m a twin , and i’d say it’s a blessing and a curse. NEVER compare your twins. sometimes it feels like one is treated differently, so make sure they are both being loved equally. also, make sure to give support on their own identity and decisions. just because they share a birthday and age, doesn’t mean that they need to be put in the same class, have joint birthday parties and the same room when they get old enough to understand that type of stuff, unless they want to. and most likely they will get into a bunch of fights, probably more than the average siblings, just because they are figuring out things at the same time. they are maturing at the same rate, and will for sure have disagreements. that being said, i always enjoyed having someone to hang out with that was the same age as me. it feels like a partner in crime. one of the biggest things that i think is the most important that i don’t think a lot of people have said as advice is have them stand up for each other. this will help in the long run, for example for bullying, relationships, etc. let them know that family is everything, and that if someone is bothering the other person, that they should stick up for family over friends.

It was really nice hearing Erik talking more about his feelings and experience and his freaking out about having twins! I felt he was very passionate in this podcast, and it was nice seeing him doing the sponsors as well! I totally get the I-still-feel-like-a-teen-but-Im-a-parent-to-multiple-children, I feel the same all the time, even with two kids! I don't know if I'll ever feel like an adult lol! I'm so excited for you guys and to be a witness of your journey!

Eric's not wrong tbh. I've heard a lot of twins say "Please don't dress them the same. Let them develop their own identities."

Erik: do you know Dylan or cole sprouse? Colleen: never heard of them. Also Colleen: who were the twins on suite life of zack and Cody?

I think it's fun to dress twins the same when they are babies... But as soon as they start getting their own sense of identity I definitely wouldn't unless they want to.. Especially if they end up being of the same sex

If you’re curious about other women’s experiences, my mom gave birth vaginally to my younger siblings who are boy girl twins. They came around 36 weeks and were about 5 pounds each. Luckily, neither of them had to stay in the NICU after birth and the birth itself was relatively smooth! Just know that not all twin births end up with a C section and a NICU stay.

Imma go out on a limb here. I think when the psychic said “2 boys,” she was talking about 2 boys total & the twins are 1 girl & 1 boy. & Regis, that’s my final answer. 😂 From a mother, all we really want is a healthy baby…or babies in this case, but the guessing is so fun! 💕

I'm so proud of Erik getting more vulnerable on the podcast!! He's opening up more and more and I speak for everyone when I say we LOVE IT!

When Colleen says she isn't confident its 2 girls but she didn't expect for her to be pregnant with twins as well. Goodluck Colleen 😅

34:42 - I agree so much. Being a twin myself I always disliked being the same as my twin sister, often we’d be grouped together and I’m not completely, you know like annoyed about that in retrospect but one thing I would recommend is not to make your twin’s identity a singular thing. As much as I know how adorable dressing them up together will be, as they get older each of them having their own identity is very important! Also can we talk about how amazing these 2 wonderful humans are? Hopefully the symptoms get better!

You should have Mindy McKnight from Cute Girls Hairstyles as a guest. She's had twins and has made a video in the past about parenting twins. I think she would be great person to give her insight to y'all!

as a twin... i eventually decided i didn’t want to dress exactly like my sister. i wanted my individuality- have them be known as separate people! but for infants, i’d say it’s okay ☺️☺️

I'm a twin and I really relate to Erik's story about his friend. The comparison is hard. It's definitely a bigger issue with twins. It's important for twins to go there separate ways if they want to. That being said, my twin is my best friend and I wouldn't have it any other way. You guys will do great!

As a twin I would say you let your twins choose their own outfits, their own friends, and experiences. The worst was being lumped together all the time. I love my sister but it was great when we got more independence when we went to different colleges and finally got our own identities. I honestly wish we went to different high schools and got to establish that earlier.

"men don't get any credit" erik has got me with his sarcasm LOL

flashback to when erik was basically a phantom never to be seen or heard from in colleens videos, and now he is literally hosting a podcast where the number one activity is talking and being filmed

Hi Colleen and Erik! I really enjoy your podcast and since I’m a triplet, I thought that I could just let you know my experiences while I was growing up. The thing that I valued most was that my mom dressed me and my siblings differently, and made us separate people even from the beginning. People compared me to my siblings all the time, so I did not like being the same at all. I always loved being independent and different from them!

I am so offended that Colleen didn't know who Dylan & Cole Sprouse were but, then again she was in college when Suite Life of Zack and Cody came out

You will not regret the minivan purchase. You needed it. Having three in car seats, two in newborn carriers, the ease of a van will be so good for y’all. 💜

Podcast idea! Mama Dr. Jones could join.

I think Erik was worried that the twins won't have individuality and independence if they're always raised together and put together like a 'set' or 'pack' . I definitely see his point!

The second I found out that Eric’s middle name was Flynn I always thought it would be so cute for any girl of colleen to be named Mae because that’s her middle name! Btw Colleen you are are so strong and we love you!!

And I agree with Erik and have seen this with twins, of course you can dress up the same sometimes, specially when they’re babies, but it does compromise their identity as an individual. For example with Niki and Gabi the comparison between them has taken a toll on their relationship sometimes.

As someone that has been best friends and grown up with identical twins for 10 years. They would tell you it is one of the best and worst things. When they fight.. they fight hard but they are also the first to lean on each other or keep each other in check. Their parents put them in mostly the same activities.. and encouraged them to be extreamly competitive with everything. So there is absolutely a lot of comparison there but just making sure you're allowing them to live individually, you should be fine. There does become an unhealthy reliance on each other that can lead to anxiety when they leave the nest if they dont have their own paths

as a fraternal twin, I think the best thing is to let them find their own personality and identity, finding friends on their own for example, my parets never compared us but they kept us togheter all day :(

Colleen, I'm in Erik's camp with this one. Emphasizing twins at any age, even infants, influences how others treat them and does absolutely influence their identities. People WILL compare them if you emphasize their twinness by dressing them the same.

I wishh we could get Erik's perspective more! Like his viewpoint of how they met, got together, filming, etc. I know his family is very private but it'd be so interesting! We got some of it in the vlogs when they were travelling and just getting together but it was mostly Colleen's POV.

I’m Colleen ballingerrrrrr Eric: who am I? C:ur my husband Eric: oh ok I’ll go with that

I love her love for musical theatre. I was never part of it but I was in choir and orchestra so the fact that ppl act, sing, dance, etc all to live music with a lighting/backstage crew is so much better. You can feel the hard work being recognized when everyone is clapping at the end. It always gives me chills and makes me wanna cry

I actually feel similarly to Erik about twins always wearing the same outfits. Obviously they won't really understand what's going on as babies but it does seem odd to take these 2 individual humans and make them the same. But it probably won't make a difference in the long run. I personally prefer the idea of twins wearing matching outfits over the same outfits.

I love when eric speaks more.. he looks a lot more confident in front of the camera now!

I am a twin and I would agree that we are compared to each other all the time, it was hard in school also to make friends that wasn’t just your twin. Matching outfits is fine but make them feel important as individuals not just as a pair. It gets confusing when people around you make you being a twin your personality.

My dad is an identical twin but their personalities are still so different that they never minded be called “the twins” or being compared to one another. Also, they are still BEST friends! They live only 18 minutes apart from each other and hangout all the time. I love them 💕

My daughter is Hazel Alice Lee - named after my husband's grandmother(Hazel), my grandmother(Alice) and my mother's middle name (Lee). I love that she is named after 3 amazing women who are no longer with us. 💕

Who else loves that Erik said Ballinger-Stocklin

I love this for you! With twins it's really important for their social development and identity to not group them together as "the twins". It'll be easier once they have names as their identifiers.

I love the idea of having parents of twins and a pair of twins on the podcast or in a video, to gain more "tools" like Erik said. We all try our best! I really appreciate the effort of you guys. Colleen, constantly giving good vibes for your pregnancy! Also big YES to a van!!

My best friend is a twin one thing she always hated growing up was people making assumptions abt who the “dominant” twin is & it always made one of them feel bad or less then & they hated HATED being compared to eachother one important thing to remember is their different people with different personalities & life’s

I find this video so fascinating from the standpoint of where each parent’s head is at during pregnancy. You can see Erik is thinking a bit more long term, once the babies are older. Colleen is thinking about them in baby stages. Love seeing both perspectives! So excited for you both!

Just because everyone think is two boys, I’m going with two girls.

"you're the Beyonce of this house" that was everything omg😭😭😭

I’m a teacher and I’ve taught so many pairs of twins over the years. I’ve always been able to tell them apart. Over time they don’t even look like twins to me anymore. I bet it’s even more so for parents.

Thats why i like brooklyn and bailey, they are twin but they dont care to dress the same , they even have different hair styles! Sister sister will always be the best!

Colleen: "I will know which twin is which immediately" My mom: Calls me, her daughter, by my brothers name multiple times throughout a week hahahaha even when my brother isn't home.

the way you could tell erik felt so uncomfortable talking to the camera by himself when colleen went to blow her nose😂❤️

“timothee charcuterie board”😭💀

Look at Eric segwaying into a sponsor! I love watching him get more comfortable with these kinds of things.

Get Brooklyn and Bailey on the podcast to talk about their experience as twins!!

One thing I love about Colleen having twins is that on Christmas she’ll have all three of her babies together and that’s so exciting

omg pleeeeease do research on the psychology of raising twins!! a lot of twins who were forced to dress the same grew up to have identity issues. although i’m sure dressing them the same at 2 days old won’t make a difference, doing that into their childhood will!

We need new Colleen merch that says “I’m not a scientist.”

Erik’s “Twins” shirt is amazing, I love it so much. Just showed my friend (who is a twin) that movie recently and she loved it

I have to agree with Erick sooooo hard. I’ve had the luck to get to know many many twins (identical and fraternal) and most times they always advice the same thing: dressing identically is fun sometimes but they really appreciate having separate likings and being raised like siblings instead of twins. I’ve also listened how they usually don’t love being referred to as “the twins” all the time, at school or family gatherings, I’ve noticed that they feel more recognized if people refer to them as “so” and “so” instead of “the twins”. You’re both amazing parents already, it’s gonna be so fun to watch you grow along with the two new kiddos.

When talking about buying clothes for the babies Colleen: I have and Erik is not excited about it and it makes me very sad Erik: ... I bought a minivan ! LMAO it killed me

Hey, I’m a twin!!! On the comparing stuff, I would like to say I ADORE the pictures of my sister and I in a pink an yellow outfit or something like that, and the occational matching outfit when we were 4-5, but I really enjoyed not having it pushed on us when we got older. We are also fraternal twins, so I guess that is also kind of a natural stopper for the Matchy matchy 👯‍♀️

as a boy/girl twin, I think it is okay to dress them the same during their infancy. My mom did it all the time and obviously, I don't remember because it is before I was 2 (when we are able to start remembering things). I don't remember ever having an identity crisis because we were matching our outfits as a baby. But Colleen makes a great point, once they are old enough to make these decisions definitely let them explore themselves and dress how they want!

I feel like Erik feels so much more comfortable with recording podcasts. I mean he did ad reads. I'm really proud :) Colleen you can do this! I love you and I am sending over a thought hug. You rock!

Exactly Erik!! I know it’s real and you guys are having twins but it feels like it’s scripted and like it’s just a movie/tv plot but it’s so awesome and I’m excited for you guys. These babies (all 3 of them!) have the best parents they could have gotten!

my mom has an identical twin and she felt constantly compared to her sister- not only by family but by friends

I love hearing Erik talk more I love hearing his stories and his opinions✌🏼

colleen gushing over the name “jasmine” made me a little happy, it’s my name but i’m not really fond of it so i go by Jazzy. but i was actually named after Princess Jasmine instead of the flower lol

Finalllllllly I have been waiting for this glorious episode I have never been more happy and excited for someone than I am for you and Erik. Those beautiful twins chose you and Erik to be their parents because you're amazing parents to Flynn so no doubt will you guys be amazing Twins parents and I cant wait to see your journey 🥰🤍

Didn't they reveal on good trouble that Erik's character is a twin? Just something i remembered when they announced that they are having twins.

imo i wouldn’t want to dress twins the same, at least as they get older. i’ve heard them say it impacts their identity to always be compared to their twin, and dressing the same loses their sense of who they are. pretty much the same kinda stories that eric said. they’re not exactly the same. they’re still their own person, and own interests.

C:"Are you making fun of a pregnant woman?" E: "Oh shit" Lmao

Erik getting the mini van the next day is so cute 🥰❤️ can’t wait for your family of 5!!

I am a twin. (Same gender but fraternal) The comparison thing is real and definitely bothered us in middle school. It mostly came from outside the family. Parents can be big advocates for supporting individuality and for not comparing them as they will be individuals. BUT as adults, I enjoy the experience but I think we're as close as regular siblings- not more so. We weren't dressed the same as little kids. I have no feelings about it. Haha

Never say it couldn't be girls. My husband has 9 brothers. All his brothers that have kids only have boys. We assumed no way we would have a girl. Yet we have girls.

Yes, get twins on the podcast! I want to hear Erik discover and learn about twins since his experience is "I saw it in a movie once". X) I had twin classmates growing up, and I remember it being very uncomplicated. We asked them questions, like friends do, and learned their hobbies and individual quirks, like friends do.

Keep those hospital bracelets on as long as possible! 😉 I’m a twin and a mom of identical twins and I still have nightmares that we mixed them up at some point and they are living a lie! 😉 A tip though is to put them in A B order for pictures or when they are together side by side.

COLLEEN! Just to ease your mind, you're NOT pregnant for 10 months. Yes, it's 40 weeks, but there are more than 4 weeks in a month, there are 4.25 weeks in a month (30-31 days). If 40 weeks were 10 months, there would only be 28 days in a month. 40 weeks are just over 9 months. Hopefully this helps!!

I have 8 year old twin boys, planning for them to arrive is the most stressful time. After they arrive, you’ll find your footing. I also went from having 1 child to 3, and I was also totally shocked by the news, it’s the most memorable crazy day ever. Welcome to this club.

I am a twin and honestly I couldn’t live without my brother. You’re right when you say that twins always have a buddy. It was so nice to have someone to go through the scary things in life with. Like taking a road test, taking the SATS etc. It’s nice to have someone to lean on and go through the same walks of life together. Also he is the best uncle to my daughter, they are super close and it just warms my heart. You’re babies are very lucky o have each other, and the two of you as parents. Sending lots of love!!!!

Yall should call up the Merrell twins (& paul of course), Dolan twins, and niki and gabi and ask their opinions on being a twin because I feel like they all had same but different experiences!