We Reported Our Autistic Son to The Police... 

I have autism and I've gotten to a point in life where I can't deal with it anymore I'm 19 and all I want is to have lived a normal one

Me: reads the title Also me: confused Me at the end of the vid: phew Andy's not in jail

I’m a police officer, during my time on shift I had to respond to a number of incidents like this. I really sympathise with you as parents. There were times like you have described that ended in an arrest, some of which required me and my colleagues to physically remove the child from the house . It was traumatic for the child but even more so for the parents. No parent ever pressed charges, it was always a final safeguarding tactic when there were no other solutions available. There really wasn’t any other option and police were called as a last resort. Now Andy is a teenager his physical strength is increasing and on top of everything else his hormones are all over the place. I also have a theory that when teenagers get into this kind of ‘rage’ state their minds become so overloaded and over stimulated that the subconscious self preservation part of the brain switches off, they are suddenly able to push their bodies beyond its normal safe level of exertion which seems to grant super human strength. I’m a similar build to yourself and there were occasions when it took 3 or 4 people my size to safely restrain a teenage boy. The problem is that this strength puts a huge strain on their bodies. Don’t beat yourself up for any decision you have to make because ultimately you have to do what’s best for yourself and your family ✌🏻

I have a 6 year old who is non verbal Autistic, hes strong now and him getting older does worry me, Iv heard of so many other parents having to call the police because of meltdowns, its a last resort and people need to understand that. I really appreciate you putting this video up and sharing your experience.

Kev: how do I say this without swearing? Also Kev: #%*#

it’s ridiculous that people would criticise you for replacing the TV. That’s what any family would do if they were in the position to do so. Props for making this video. I think I can speak for everyone here when I say we wish you and the family all the best.

You’re both fantastic parents! You did what you had to do. Don’t beat yourselves up. I can’t imagine how it must have felt for Andy. Stay strong all ❤️

I can’t imagine how scary that must have been for you all and how stressful things are right now. I hope your son gets all the help and support he needs and that you guys stay safe.

It’s a hard decision to make Kev, I hope the right one in the end. Best of luck to you, we’re all behind you.

Kevin, I think you are doing the most incredible job as a parent. I have watched your vids for a couple of years and your hard work and determination is truly breathtaking. I'm sure I can speak for all of us when I say WE ARE WITH YOU! I think 99% of us will always respect your decisions when it comes down to andy and we hope you can use these types of videos to help yourselves as well in terms of your mental health. Please know we are all here and support you and I really hope all of the family are ok coming out of this!

I love how straight talking you are. No bs, just logical and honest

This came up on my recommended feed so I've had 20 minutes to listen to your story, I feel for you on this one, I hope you all get the help you need, I went through so much with anxiety and depression as an autistic person like myself so nower days I actually do my best to sharing out my stories based on my autism experiences and one of the reasons why I've gotten into music production and Djing and I actually started writing music now based on my experiences. My saying is never let a learning disability hold you back as there is way of battling it.

There are so many kids out there with parents (especially fathers) who just don’t care enough to be involved in their kid’s lives, your son is so lucky to have you in his. You did what you needed to do and still maintained your concern for your son. You seem like an awesome person your son is lucky to have someone like you in his life even if he doesn’t understand it.

Well done for talking about this Kev, my grandparents would do pretty much the same for me when I was a teenager - sometimes when you're in a crisis you need help, whether that's from the police, ambulance service or anyone else. If anything this goes to show how much the Mental health crisis teams are failing the people who need them. Due to funding - It's such a shame that all they could tell you is to phone the police instead of offering any sort of support for him. Going without mental health help is horrible, I cannot imagine how Andy is feeling at the moment. Hopefully things look brighter for you guys and Andy soon. Xx

Only just came across this. I've grown up with 2 sisters that are autistic and recently we had to move house due to a house fire. There routine was pretty much recked in a similar case to you with things like WiFi. Thankfully neither of them have bad outbursts anymore, your present thought are exactly what my parents and so many others have gone through so know that you're doing great. Hope everything pans out well for you🙌🏻

Honestly, getting internet in the UK is such a pain at times. 2 years ago when we moved it took the whole summer for us to get internet.

life is life kev, sometimes it will be hard other times it is beautiful. What your videos do for people with autism is incredible. No one can pass judgement correctly on how you raise your child. we all know you make decisions with andys best at heart. Keep on going it will get better im sure you know that already. love

I have an autistic brother and due to his meltdowns we have had to replace alot of TVs, phones, computers etc his bedroom walls have had to be replaced along with his door. He used to be very violent towards me if I tried to support my mam during his meltdowns, he would beat me up often then suddenly one day during a meltdown he punched me full force in the back of the head and everything went dark around me, I was dizzy and lathargic, he almost knocked me out so I had no choice but to call the police, enough was enough the violence was too much and too often. He was taken to the police station where they calmed him down and my mam picked him up an hour or so later. The police were very helpful. We have called the police three times in total and they've always been great with him, he's 22 now and hasn't been violent towards me for quite a few years because after that incedent he knew I wouldn't hesitate to call the police. He still smashes his own things and sometimes puts a hole in his wall but he's slowly getting better at managing his anger. You did the best thing by calling the police for your family and your son. Anybody that criticises you clearly hasn't been in your situation.

Thanks for sharing, as someone who works in learning disability, this gives me a invaluable insight into the incredibly difficult situations faced by parents/cares at home. I hope this moved everything along for you and you get some support ❤️❤️❤️

I'm glad you chose to release this video, it helps spread awareness 💛

That's heartbreaking for all of you, he's bigger, stronger now too. I honestly wish you & Anna all the best in whatever decision you make, as a parent of an now teenage Aspie, I'm in tears here ,please just keep safe, broken hearts & silly gadgets can be repaired. I have no words.

Kev don’t beat yourself up please.

You can take Andy out to look at churches and trains during lockdown if he doesn't have a school as it would be counted under the education exemption

Wow, incredibly brave of you to upload this, Kev. Can't imagine what you're going through. Well done for raising awareness and for sharing your experience.

Head up, Kev. You're all doing so well, we're all here for you and support you.

I feel bad that you have to address the fact that people shouldn't be making nasty comments they just shouldn't do it

Thank you for sharing this. I hope you guys get better and safe over the next week and as someone with ASD, your videos continue to be informative and enlightening

You took the steps to keep you and Andy safe - that’s completely admirable. I’m glad you were humble enough to ask for help. Sending you love and wishing you peace in whatever you decide going forward.

My heart goes out to you and Anna and especially to Andy. I feel so bad that this has been so upsetting and actually quite traumatizing for Andy. I hope you are able to get everything you need for support and for services for Andy, as soon as possible, if not sooner. This is very clearly an emergency situation and I hope that the professionals help you immediately. Hugs to all of you.

Im glad RU-vid recommended this yt vid, it really taught me a lot

That's such a hard and painful story as a parent and as a person. I appreciate your sharing it so much. It's very real and raw, and that's something that is unfortunately rather rare on the internet. My most positive thoughts go out to you and your family.

Take care Kev thank you for sharing your story. You have been very brave to publish this and lets hope it helps other people in similar situations.

Kev, don’t worry. it was completely understandable what you had to do, it was for Andy’s own safety and yours. The police can be great people. as an autistic person myself, I can completely understand what Andy was going through as with all the changes going on. I hope things get better for you

It's not easy being a parent of an autistic child. It's overwhelming at times. There isn't an instruction manual because they're each is unique in their own way. Just stick to your guns and do the best you can do. You're an amazing father to Andy. I'll be praying for strength for you and Anna.

Really do feel for you all. The emotion behind this video is so real. Please stay safe and hopefully Andy will have a better week

Thank you for sharing Kev, I can’t imagine how difficult this was to make for you. Means a lot to hear you open up like you do.

You have a fantastic speaking voice. This is the first video of yours that I’ve seen. Hope you’re all ok and you sound like a great father. Lots of love

This all sounds like a very challenging thing to handle and a difficult time for Anna, Andy and you. It’s unbelievable that the mental health hotline couldn’t send an ambulance, that is what I had assumed would happen. You’d think they have emts trained for these types of situations, that they could also deliver meds if need be in a case like this. I hope you and Anna can find the best solution for all of you and don’t beat yourself up about what has gone wrong - you’re doing the best you can! PS: this is super not important but Dave’s shadow cracked me up.

So glad you shared this with us Kevin. My heart goes out to you all. You cannot do anymore than you are already doing. Sending virtual hugs to you all. Lots of love you yourself, Anna, Andy, and the girls. xx

Hi Kevin, I started watching you for FM. Absolutely love those videos, I’ve learnt so much in them and use them myself. More importantly I’m studying education studies for my uni degree. I worked with a boy who has high level autism. Finding this video is crazy! Not only finding a more personal side of yourself but also now I’m able to learn more about you and your family. I can’t start to understand what you’re going through. But in my uni degree I’m focusing on Autism. Just wanted to say you’re an amazing guy. Keep up your amazing videos! Many thanks, Jake

Oh Andy 😞 poor you. I can see and hear the sadness as you speak. This must be so difficult. We are with you whatever happens 🧩💕

I am going through the same thing. I’m right behind you guys. Really hoping for positive outcomes for all of you. Thinking of you all .

You are an inspiration Kev, incredible patience and dedication for your son. Credit to you for doing these videos. It has really opened my eyes to the challenges parents/carers of autistic son/daughters face. I'm a teacher so this perspective is invaluable for helping me manage pupils with similar special educational needs to Andy.

You're a great parent Kev and this is such a hard situation with no easy solution. I can tell by the way you speak that you care so much for Andy's welfare, and also for Anna's. Please don't see considering a residential option for Andy as something necessarily negative, it could really be the thing he needs to move forward and to give you and Anna the reassurance that both Andy and you guys can be safe, well and happy. Your channel is fantastic at showing the reality of having a teen with autism, and sadly this situation is the reality for many others too - and I admire you for sharing your story - I'm certain you have helped so many people learn more about Autism and everything that goes with it. Stay strong guys x

As someone who is autistic and is now a fuctioning 29 year old with a wife and autistic kids. I totally understand how hard this must have been for both you and for Andy. I remember as a young teen I would rely on the Internet alot, I used to have to play my then Fav game (runescape) for an hour before school and I had to check MSN as my friend always spoke to me before school. It only takes 1 small change to really effect someone with autism so I can relate but I feel you did what you had to do. Hope things are a bit easier now things are more normal

I can tell how hard this could be I’m autistic myself and I can’t imagine calling the police on an autistic child Especially because some police can not understand autism and make the situation worse some do but not all police do but police have weapons I hope Andy is ok

My heart goes out to you, Anna and Andy. Thank you for sharing this video and keeping it real. I am sorry that your country is having another lockdown. That is going to be hard for everyone. As always, please be safe.

My heart goes out to you all.ill keep Andy and all your wonderful family in my prayers 🙏 Thank you for sharing this difficult chapter in your lives. I pray that everything settels down and improves for you all. Sending Love and Hugs to you all. Your such an inspirational family.💕

Kev, you sound so defeated towards the end. I really hope you dont feel that way. You and anna are such fantastic parents! Please do whatever is safest for all of you, I'm sure it will work out xxxx

Fair play to you Kev - this must've been really difficult to record so massive props to you for that. Sure whatever you do will be the right thing - all the best

Kev, this is a remarkably difficult situation for you and I applaud your bravery for speaking about it so openly. I started watching your channel for FM videos and I guess that searching for help videos for children with autism separately has found common ground subject matter. Keep the faith, stay safe and I hope you and your family are ok. Marc

U and Anna are absolute saints! I work with children with severe and complex needs and know the difficulties u face. U are both amazing parents and doing a fantastic job. Andy is an amazing young man and ur daughters are fabulous sisters. Love watching u guys take care 💕

What an incredibly brave video, Kev, and a real insight into living with autism. I can't be the only one who learned something from this. Big love to all the family.

I love the way you said "it's really simple really" I don't mean this in a mean way😂😁👍

I’m a transition age social worker in California and i started watching you guys to see how people are supported in other places and then just stayed cuz i like y’all. You guys are doing all things I would suggest. Calling the police because no other services are available is common here especially in COVID. Though it’s a difficult decision and extremely scary (especially here not sure about UK police) y’all did all the right things. I’m glad to hear there’s help coming in getting services sped up. Thank you for sharing this because I don’t think people really realize that this is struggle many families go through all the time. Stay strong y’all are great. Also Dave’s shadow is so cute in the background.

Wow Kev, that must have bee he hardest video you've had to record. I can't comprehend what it's like for you as I have never had that experience, but as a parent, it is one of the toughest things to go through. Just watching your child go through that, and you as parents having to not only emotionally deal with it, but mentally you have to make the right choices in handling it. Your a great parent, both you and Anna, Andy is a great kid. You made the choice to do what you did, for his safety and your families. And hopefully, on a little plus, Andy could be fast tracked to get further help. I will always support you and these videos you do, and the great work you do in makin awareness for autism, and the good times and difficult. Much love to you and your family Kev ❤️

Heartbreaking. Everyone is trying so hard, including Andy, but still, there are times when the worst happens. I hope everything works out. EDIT** I was sitting here thinking about mentioning residential care, not in a mean way as I don't want you to block me, I love you guys, but thinking that maybe it would be beneficial for him. I know he is your son, and it is hard to think that doing something like that may be for the best, but Andy is to the place that he needs another level of 'normality' as an adult; not as a child. (I hope I am making sense.) It could be that he might want to take that step to where he is more in control if his decisions, and be treated as an adult by people other than his family. It may be that something like that might be very validating for him. He might like the opportunity to show that he can do things for himself. Either way, I am glad things settled down for you. This must have been so hard, and I am glad no one was seriously hurt, Take care. Love to you, Anna, Andy, Dave and the girls. You will get through this, keep the faith.

My older brother used to have meltdowns like that all of the time. Sometimes every night of the week. From the age of sixteen onwards he was impossible to deal with. At the age of twenty one we got him into a really good residential house of his own with a team of staff to help him 24/7. He still visits every weekend, but he's doing so much better in an environment where the people caring for him can give all of their time to him. The home environment was too difficult because we were always tired and my parents had to divide their time between work and him, and sometimes my other siblings too. The transition period was rocky for him but overall, it was the right decision. It took so long to get him proper care, so you should start early

Completely new to the channel and I relate a lot to this. My brother has Autism and he had a similar stage where at the age of 15-17 and has been settled in a residential care centre since his 19th Birthday. The physicality and the mental side of it got to the point where it was breaking the family up but now he’s brilliant he loves the ability to do what he wants we see him every week and loves us just the same. It’s a tough thing to do but you know when that time is needed and ultimately helps them with the additional freedom they can get with their own 1 to 1 carer.

Thank you for posting. Incredibly brave and it needs to be shared. Don't beat yourself up. You're amazing parents xx

I know it’s a hard decision but no matter what you did, we’re all here to support you

Stay strong kev I know it's hard to talk about I know its uncomfortable but it needs to be said hope you and the family are coping all right kev lots of love for you all ❤❤

After watching the whole video... Huge props to both you and Anna. I almost cried at the events that has unfolded but I can relate from Andy's point of view. Last meltdown that I have was because I was seriously injured and I could not work for a good few weeks and for some reason, I was super triggered one day to the point I assaulted my mum. Thankfully, the new neighbours called the police and they spoke to both myself and my mum regarding the events. I was in the police car so that I could actually talk my side. I had a warning off the police as well as them fast forwarding my application for adult social support, something that I was turned down for. But seriously, please please please do not beat yourselves up. Hopefully, Andy starts to adapt to the new surroundings. I know it will take time as that is a lot of change for him :( One day at a time Kev :) You've got this!

Thank you for this video. I am amazed when I watch how you move through these issues and when they were in my life, it was really this hard for my family. Your more balanced in your approach than I was. It’s all difficult. Blessings to you all.

As a father I’ve got to commend you. My patience is as thin as paper. You are a great man.

When we couldn’t handle my autistic brother with his meltdowns, we had no choice but to call the police to help us restrain him. Shits hard..

I think people who have never dealt with these types meltdowns can truly understand how heartbreaking it is to hear this. I am so sorry that all three of you went through this and I hate you feared people's reactions to this because you and Anna did what you thought was best for your son. Hugs, love and strength to you and Anna right now. And I hope all the support that Andy needs gets sorted ASAP.

Respect for posting this - never easy making decisions but you have to all move forward together and do what’s best. Respect.

I understand where you are coming from with all of this I’m autistic myself and I know and understand all the fighting and bruises and everything I used to be really bad and smash the house up over anything from winning on a game to something silly of my clothes having tags on I hope you get the support you need for Andy and I hope you get it all sorted

I’m happy that police was so nice and supportive towards Andy nice to hear

Not sure how this ended up on my suggestions, but I'm glad it did. The video shows how much you care for and love Andy. I really wanted to just give you a massive hug when you started talking about residential care. Keep doing what you do, you are amazing.

I’m so sorry this happened to Andy and the two of you. It’s all overwhelming. To be putting Andy in residential care is yours and Anna’s decision alone. We don’t know 24/7 in your home but I know you all have gone above for his care. To make that ultimate decision has to be heartbreaking so extra love goes to Anna.

keep it up people shouldn’t judge especially if they are not in the same position as you. Maybe guys instead of any hate try think of anything that can help him. KEEP IT UP BRO

I hope everything gets better for you anna, andy and dave, yes i had to include dave, everyone has there ups and downs and hopefully everything's up from here

You guys have had it tough recently!! Moving is very stressful, and poor Andy has really struggled with the change 😟 Hope you guys are ok now and that Andy has settled in! You guys are awesome and are wonderful parents to Andy, keep being amazing ❤️

Thank you for making the extremely brave yet important decision to share your story with us hear on youtube. I hope everything works out well for you and Andy and that he will find things easier as time goes on and as lockdown hopefully lifts. time heals all.

I can only imagine you feel like you are walking on eggshells all the time, please don't beat yourself up you will make up the right decision what is best going forward

My first thought was is he ok? I'm watching now, so I'll get my answers. Support for you is always. I've watched it. Breath. You will make the right decision for Andy. This has been made evident by ll the other videos, that you both want what is best for him. You both love him.

I'm sorry Kevin. We had to do the same thing several times with our 16 year old son. Its really a hard situation. I'm glad the police were able to help. We explored residential care as well. I appreciate you posting this video as it helps me know we aren't alone.

Big respect for sharing this. I couldn’t think of anything worse than calling police in on my child. Completely did the right thing for your scenario. Everyone’s safety is a priority. Fingers crossed on the Internet!

We are parents with a 12 year old Autistic son. His strength is massively different to a normal boy and my wife can no way restrain him. Even i struggle to try to not injure him or myself with trying to hold him to protect him and others. We have older sons that miss some of our focus and this is so hard to balance out. Our lives revolve around Him and my wife never feels like a holiday as just thinks it will turn out bad due to meltdowns. Its hard to not think of passing our son to appropriate care support when he is older . All our lives are being effected by our son. We feel guilty thinking we could move him out of the household. I really get what you did . Hope you have some good balance.......

I am really struggling with my 15 year old son at the moment with him being autistic and the anger he has and my partner and I feel like we are at the end of our thether and I feel like we don't get the support as parents, what we sometimes go through.

Oh no hope you guys are okay? Hope Andy is getting more support. Sending well wishes to you and your family. Keep being yourselves. We are here for you guys.

Great parents absolutely great parents police did there job it’s so sad that our healthcare system is struggling atm Andy is in amazing hands and with the patience you have it truly is amazing

That is a really tough decision you had to make can’t imagine having to make that, I think you made the right decision to call the police to calm the situation down.

This is heartbreaking. I just about cried at the end when you brought up residential care, but what you said makes sense. With change, comes growth and hopefully he would thrive in residential care once he adjusted to it.

Life is a rollercoaster and it's all about how you come out of it at the other end, what you and Anna do for Andy is amazing. Not many of us could do what you both do so don't ever think you are bad people. Andy loves both of you and always will, things will come good for all the family, as hard as it is now, things will always get better. Thank you for the video Kev, it was heartbreaking but an amazing insight, you deserve all the happiness in the world

Really feel for you guys. It gets better and you’re amazingly strong both you and Anna, Andy and the girls as a family. I admire you so much.

Really feel for you guys, hearing the pain in your voice nearly brought me to tears. So sorry you had to go through with that. It’s scary when you have to get the police involved, believe me, I know. 😞 Please don’t feel bad with the possibility of moving Andy to supported accommodation early, you have to think about what’s best for you & Anna as well as Andy. And if there are those trained in supporting him, that would help. If he is used to the change of staff at his respite, that’s great because that’s one issue I know about this field of work, being a support worker. In the Highlands of Scotland, there are no accommodation options available so my 24 year old autistic brother is still living with my parents, having little to no life for himself, especially with the pandemic. Which makes me feel bad for living around 150 miles away from them. But I know when my parents pass, I will be trying to get him into his own supported accommodation so he can have his own life. Take care of yourselves please. Can’t thank you enough for your videos, if only I had them growing up, it would have made myself & my brother feel less alone. ❤️

We're all behind you Kev. I'm autistic myself so I kind of know what you're talking about and understand it. You made the right choice. Even if it was hard.

You and Anne are brilliant parents! You dealt with Andy’s breakdown in the most appropriate way. Thanks for making this insightful video.

You are both great parents, that is obvious in all your vlogs. You did what you needed to do, no more explanation needed. Hope things are better now.

Hey I really think you’re amazing for being able to go through this most parent wouldn’t and couldn’t. My younger brother has asd an he went through quite parallel experiences of what I was able to grasp from this video, from a young age about 11 he was doing things like smashing chairs TVs couldn’t live without WiFi or headphone to listen to music, This was to stop the constant chattering in his skull this continued until around 17 - 18 the police were involved on a few incidents of metal breakdown, broken a few doors too. However he reached a mental maturity albeit a lot later than most, most people realise the effects between the action of self and the action of others about 14 I’d say but it of course took him a little longer because we simply wasn’t not focused on this that kids his age were because of his autism he never much liked being a child having zero control over anything he did. I believe this was the factor that changed him for the better when he realised that growing up is actually kinda cool. so becomes interested in things one might at a younger age simple things that his autism would’ve prevented him from even thinking about, like his autism and how he can learn to interoperate the world through someone else’s point of view in life that then understand things you simply don’t, and that in a way is an understanding of the world as a whole. So the reach for control he had through his whole life became virtually non existent. Understanding his autism and that he can’t recognise facial expressions as well as others can but he can look at your face and add up what the frown means plus the wet face and make a good guess that you’re probably sad. I truly believe your son will one day be able to fully control himself in most aspects of life. still with his struggles and the things that make him, him But with a more whole understanding of what it like to be a person. I think it just takes a little longer with people with asd to reach the first milestone of mental maturity. This is not my place to say but I would keep faith in your son he will grow and grow and once he knows how to control himself he can put that amazing autism brain power to things he want needs or cares for. Btw it was me the whole time I’m on my sisters account I’m 19 now and really at peace with myself and content with life in general regardless of outcome. I truly related to this video and to look back on how far I’ve come. I only see a bright future for your family. Afterl once you hit rock bottom where else can you go but up much love man I’ll keep you guys in my heart forever. 💙

Kev; How do I say this without swearing? *Bleep*

This video is heart breaking. Poor Andy has had so much change. I really hope he starts to cope better. You and your wife are doing an amazing job. Whatever happen next will be the best step for Andy. Stay strong guys.

Must have been extremely tough for you both to deal with! You dealt with it brilliantly and thank you for sharing it with us! All the best Kev

My friend is autistic and had severe anger issues for while, if his dad wasn't home and he kicked off his mum would have had to call the police because should could not defend her self or his little brother, luckily it never came to that

You're both so strong, can't even imagine the stress you're under at the moment. Amazing parents isn't even enough to describe the admiration you deserve! The hardest decisions can often lead to the best outcomes for everyone. Stay strong ❤

i can't imagine being in the exact spot that you felt like you have no choice but to bring 999 on your kid. life can be tough

I feel awful for you and you can hear how much it hurt you! You’re both doing an amazing job and I think not a single person here can fully understand what you’ve been through so any decision you make will 100% be justified and I feel anyone that questions it has no place. Keep up the good work!!