GETTING MARRIED in the USA vs. Germany | Feli from Germany 

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I married my German wife in 1964 in Darmstadt, Germany. I was an American G.I. We did indeed ge married in the Rathaus, and then had a religious ceremony in the American Military Chapel. One tradition I found interesting is that an engaged couple had to post their intentions to marry at the Rathaus for a couple weeks before the marriage. I also found it interesting that the Hessen Police actually checked for any criminal record of mine from back home in Chicago. Kind of ironic because I worked in military intelligence and had a Top Secret security clearance. We also followed the German custom of not having an engagement ring, but rather wearing the wedding rings on the engagement hand until the wedding, where the bands were then switched to the wedding hand. All turned out well and we were happily married for 50 years until her death 10 years ago.

I have seen American weddings where the couple spent an outrageous amount and then began married life deep in debt. Neither my family nor my wife's were wealthy and we didn't want anyone to have debt so we self-funded our wedding within our budget. We had a wedding/reception where we could give our guests (30 or so) individual attention. Still married 32 years later!

Kidnapping the bride is also a thing in Northern-Germany, not only Bavaria/Austria. Another (rather nasty) tradition is the "preparing of the home for wedding night": The couple's siblings prepare the house/apartment in order to hinder bride and groom getting into bed, - obstacle course! A bedroom filled up to the ceiling with balloons, yarn-spider-webs in the hallway, loud music from hidden speakers... It is shocking how creative siblings can be...

German couple: Before getting married, my wife and I had known each other and lived together for about 10 years. Our son was nearly a year old when we had our wedding. He was also one of the reasons to finally do get married mainly because of the legal status (between parents and their children) but also because of the practical aspects (everyday things become easier if parents are married and both bear the same name as the child). We wouldn't need the marriage status for ourselves or to prove our love for one another; for us nothing much had changed by the marriage. Yet I do believe this was the right thing to do because it feels more committed and more official and even more natural to me.

My neighbor's son was getting married the bridal shower was held at his mother's home. As the bride to be was ripping ribbons off of the gifts, one of the elderly ladies attending the event mention that for every ribbon that the bride to be ripped of that she would have a child. The bride to be promptly pulled a knife out of her boot and cut the rest of the ribbons off.

There are a few other American wedding traditions that might be of interest to you, Feli. In the Black American traditions, after the bride and groom is officially introduced to their guests, they will often jump over a broom. This tradition dates back to the days of American chattel slavery when the enslaved were not allowed to "officially" marry. This leap over the broom made their marriages official among the enslaved communities, even if they got sold away from one another. Today, Black American couples will use a decorative broom for this purpose. Another tradition that is common at Black American weddings are group dances at the reception. There are three that are usually done as a group: the electric slide, the cupid shuffle, and the wobble. They are typically done in that order throughout the night because each dance becomes more and more taxing. These three aren't exclusive to weddings, but are used at most celebratory social gatherings such as cookouts, family reunions, and the like. Also, at some point, the group will form a "Soul Train" line on the dance floor. A "Soul Train" line is named after an old Black American television program called Soul Train. All of the dancers line up in two single file lines facing each other with a lane between the lines. Each dancer goes one-by-one down the center lane in front of everyone and does their own unique dance while the rest of the dancers cheer them on.

It's crazy how much money people spend for a wedding, especially in America.

Fili, my wife is Polish, about 30 years ago my cousin in law's wedding ceremony scarred and traumatized me forever (in a good way). It was in a small Polish rural village, we arrived from Utah the night before and I was sleep deprived. Upon arrival I discovered a circus tent set up for the visitors. The music, the cakes and sweets, the dancing, the vodka...and more vodka. The villagers found a place for me to sleep while the celebrants continued until sunup. I'll never be the same.

Getting married was the most stressful thing I‘ve ever done. We had three receptions: one in Munich (for my family), one in Wales (for my husband‘s family) and one in Switzerland (for our friends and colleagues). I‘m never getting married again! My younger siblings and cousins also married foreigners and moved abroad, so I attended their weddings in Canada, France, the US, the Netherlands and Slovakia. This summer my cousin is getting married in Greece. I guess, I won’t be drinking the next two months, because come September, my liver will have to survive the three day ordeal.

I am from northern Germany. And only one Polterabend I have been to did the burning of the trousers and nailing the shoes of the bride. One thing you have not mentioned but is more popular here is making wreaths for the door. So all the neighbours and family and friends come together in a neighbours backyard or at the house of the bride and groom (when they are not there) and all are creating a huge wreath for their house and most do a heart too to decorate the house and also show others that they have married.

My wife and I got married on a cruise ship by the captain, which made sure we were in International waters, where he can legally marry us. We are older, and this was not the first marriage for either of us. Her best friend was maid of honor while my son and daughter were my best-persons. We turned the cruise into a kind of family get-together. In addition, her two sons and their wives joined us. Our wedding certificate is actually from Malta, where teh ship is registered, and in Maltese with English subtitles.

In the USA, among mainly rural people in the Appalachian or Ozark regions, it is not uncommon for both bride and groom's family to go to the place where they couple will live and play all manner of pranks. It has been known that they will place salt in the pepper shaker and pepper in the salt shaker. Place cornflakes in the bed. They will change the labels on the soup cans. On the wedding night, especially if the families could play a musical instrument, they would serenade the couple outside their window. It was not uncommon for the couple to look out the window because they could hear fiddles, banjos, and guitars to be playing on the wedding night. It was all done in fun and not malicious.

We're from Portugal, but moved to the USA years ago. Some of our brides Americanize their weddings by choosing "classy" venues that boot us out by 11:00, when the fun is just beginning! 😫 But I've been to many wedding receptions at our local Portuguese Club and they go until all hours. They're the most fun of all! 🎉🇵🇹🇺🇲

I've been a photographer for a few weddings and OMG, it's so stressful. There's so much pressure to capture one of a couple's most important moments, so you can't mess up. You simultaneously have to able to capture any touching moments at a moment's notice, but also you have to try to be as unobtrusive and "invisible" as possible as to not distract anyone. Also, I'm sure you and Ben can attest to this, but editing so much (photos in this case) is A LOT of work. It's paid well, and I love seeing the gratitude and happiness from the couple, but I don't know if I could do it again.

I went to a wedding in Dublin, Ireland and the pints and whiskey was flowing like water. The next day I barely remember getting back to my hotel!

Traditionally in English, the bride and groom also said "I will" (as still happens in most church weddings), but on stage and in movies, the actors would say "I do" so they wouldn't accidentally get legally married. Then people started to think that "I do" was the thing to say, so brides and grooms started saying 'I do' instead of 'I will' in real life.

I grew up in Baden-Württemberg in Germany, and we have this bride abduction custom, too! We also have a custom to pull a prank on the bride and groom in the room or apartment where they spend their wedding night. This already starts before the wedding with a competition between the couple and their friends - the couple tries to hide where they spend the night or at least get all the keys for this room, the friends try to find this out and get the keys. And usually they do. Once they found out, the friends do something in that room, while everyone is celebrating at the wedding, to create an obstacle for the couple which they have to overcome. Like wrapping the bed in toilet paper. I was at a wedding where we filled lots of plastic cups with water and placed them on the stairs in front of the couples' apartment, so they had to get rid of them before they could get into their room. The funniest prank I know of was done by my cousin at one of his friend's wedding. They just placed a movement sensor under the bed, and the couple thought their friends had not found out where they were staying or did not get the keys. But the movement sensor was connected to a paper or plastic stork with lightbulbs in its eyes, which stood in front of the house, where all the friends were gathering. And every time there was a movement in the bed, the stork's lightbulbs lit up and the friends cheered. I have lived in the UK for some years, and was on a few weddings there. They are basically similar to the German ones. With wedding in a church and celebration somewhere else, and celebration until long into the night. But it was a lot more formal, with no funny games or pranks, like we have in Germany.

About 20 years ago my wife and I attended the wedding in New Orleans. After the church ceremony the wedding party and guests all drove about 10 miles to the reception location. The line of cars was lead by multiple police cars that had their lights flashing. The police ran all the red traffic lights and even stopped traffic on an Interstate highway so all the wedding cars could stay together!

I was a professional DJ for over 30 years in Los Angeles and Las Vegas specializing in wedding receptions for the last 20 years of my career. In that time I provided entertainment and coordination for over 400 receptions. The reason that there’s generally a time limit on receptions in the US is because the catering staff has to be paid for the time that they’re at the reception and the employees also have other shifts to work and are required to have time to sleep between shifts. If you want to see out-of-place wedding elements, go to a casino in Las Vegas on a Saturday and you’ll usually see at least one woman in a wedding gown sitting at a slot machine or gaming table!

Safiya Nygaard went HARD on her wedding learning multiple dances to show off an amazing opening dance. And i respect that

For my bridal shower, my friends had me complete a registry at my favorite art supply store and I got nothing but art supplies to mark the start of my marriage and it was the best thing ever 🖤😂

We are a German gay couple and get married four years ago after living together for about 15 years. We had a quiet traditional wedding ceremony and party with friends and family. The wedding party took place in a very nice castle with a big garden after the official ceremony at the „Standesamt“, which is a very nice location in an old villa in our hometown. Beside this there were all the traditional things that are aspected during a wedding party in Germany like a wedding cake, live music band, photographer, delicious dinner and a lot of gifts from our guests. The party lasted until the last guest left. We loved it so much. It was a perfect day for us. 😊

In Austria, many regions have their own wedding traditions. Weddings in the Burgenland area are completely different to weddings in Salzburg or Tyrol. In Vienna, these days it's a mix of cultural traditions and things people have seen in movies. I got married in my husband's home town near the Hungarian border, which has really strong traditions, like walking to church in a procession with a brass band, and the bride and groom aren't allowed to walk together before they're married, so the groom is escorted by the "Kranzlbraut", usually a young unmarried female relative, and the bride is escorted by the "Kranzler", the male counterpart. The legal wedding is usually done as a 10 minute stop on the way to the church, as the courthouse is usually next to the church in the town center anyway. The wedding usually starts at about 11am and lasts until 4-5am the following day. Oh, and before the wedding a lot of usually female relatives get together for a week to bake "Krapferl", baked goods similar to Christmas cookies but more variety. At my wedding, we had 120kgs of these, for 100 wedding guests. They are served throughout the wedding, and every guest gets to take a small portion home after the wedding. Also every guest gets a few pieces of wedding cake, because we don't just have one cake. At my wedding, we had about 20! For the first dance, the bride and groom don't dance together: the Kranzler starts the first dance by asking the bride to climb across the table instead of walking around it. Then groom joins in with the Kranzlbraut, and only then do the bride and groom dance together. At midnight, there's a tradition of "Schleier abtanzen", where every guest tries to dance with both the bride and the groom for a few seconds each, paying for the dance by throwing a coin into a basket. The bride's veil is swapped for an old fashioned headscarf during this dance, and the groom gets an old hat. Then the bride and groom get handed a broom, a basket and a wooden spoon, and the guests stand in a circle throwing small change at their feet and the couple have to try to sweep it into the basket. The wooden spoon is to fend off drunken guests who run across the dance floor trying to knock over the basket and spill the coins again. 🤪 In the area where my cousin got married, in the West of Salzburg, both the bride and groom are abducted during the wedding and I have absolutely no idea how that works! They eventually found each other again though, so it's all good.

We had a small wedding, first in the Rathaus in Lauf an der Pegnitz, then in the Church and for lunch, we were in a restaurant "Altes Rathaus". In the church a friend of my wife sang a song that my wife composed for me: "Wo du hingehst, da will ich geh'n". My relatives who were the was my mother and one of my brothers. Sandra's parents were there and her sister, but all only with time for about 2 pm. We had an excellent meal in th restaurant and when Sandra`s relatives were gone, we moved to our apartment. And then Sandra and I walked to the supermarket's bakery and bought cake for our guests. The people were so happy to see my wife as a bride. And then we went back to the appartment and on the left side, there were houses under construction. The workers stopped their work and cheered! It was a funny day and evening. We are married since 1996 and every day ist a gift for us. And for Silver Wedding, we were in the same Restaurant "Altes Rathaus" (I you should be one time in Lauf, go there..) By the way: It seems to be a very interesting Item for You and Ben, am I right? 🙂 Greetings from the Nürnberger Land

We got married at Schloss Phillipsrue in Hanau. We had to put booties over our shoes to protect the floors. This was the justice of the peace. We couldn't get married on base because we didn't belong to a church. Same reason why we couldn't get married at a German church. My parents bought my wedding dress from the sears catalog. It was beautiful. They advertised our wedding on the announcement board outside. This was in 1979 before the internet. We took our pictures out in the garden by the fountain and gazebo.

My sister (Gernan) met her man at the volonteer fire brigade. So they married in fire brigade uniform, a honor gard of fireman and , of course, transport on the fire truck.

American here! I got married when I was 30, and spent less than $10,000 on my wedding. My husband and I knew very early on in our relationship that we wanted to be together indefinitely, but we didn't get engaged until 3 and a half years later, and then got married 2 years after that. This summer we are celebrating our 8th wedding anniversary. Our ceremony was on a Monday afternoon at a church, and it was pretty small: we had about 50 people total, and we each had two people in our wedding party. Our reception was at a favorite restaurant (which was opened just for us) and we played music on an iPod through their sound system instead of having a DJ. We didn't have any of the traditional first dance things, or someone to announce us as "Mr. and Mrs." but we did have a sweetheart table. Thanks for the side-by-side comparison!

Feli, my daughter married for the first time at 36 last month. She and my now son-in-law have known each other about 6 years and lived together about 4 years. They made some nontraditional choices for their wedding, and some traditional too. Early on, they decided to have bridesmen and groomsmaids, or whatever you'd call them. After consideration, they decided just to call the collective group the wedding party. At any rate, both sexes stood on both the bride's and groom's sides. My daughter selected a color palette, and both men and women were free to wear whatever dress or outfit they chose so long as it was in the color palette. The result was quite harmonious. One man even dyed his jacket to match a color in the palette. This choice was a welcome departure from coordinated outfits. In her 30s, my wife was in an older friend's wedding who chose bright pink for bridesmaids' dresses because that's what she had always dreamed of--not the most suitable color for every woman. I did walk my daughter down the aisle, but we did not have a father-daughter dance. Another U.S. tradition I don't believe you mentioned is for the groom to give the groomsmen gifts and the bride to give the bridesmaids gifts. To save money, the couple made up a gift bag for everyone in the wedding party. Because the wedding was in New Orleans, gifts included New Orleans chicory coffee and beignet mix. At the reception, New Orleans-style beads were distributed to everyone. Two other features of the wedding were somewhat different. They had a memory table outside the reception hall that had family pictures, including several generations of wedding pictures. While there were both a traditional wedding cake and a groom's cake, they also had a cookie table because, in Pittsburgh where they live, cookie tables are common at events, so the cookie table was a nod to a Pittsburgh tradition. It was a marvelous occasion. I teared up when my daughter spoke the vows she'd written. Of course, men of my generation don't cry!

Feli, this is a great video about the differences between German and American weddings. I'm a former wedding videographer with experiences in about 450 weddings in Bavaria and about 70 weddings in California. One thing I liked in German wedding was the "Kuchenbuffet" with some weddings 20-30 different cakes baked by relatives. Since I filmed almost every Saturday a wedding, I gained to much weight.

One very American tradition not mentioned is "jumping the broom." This is common in Black communities and from what I understand dates back to slavery when enslaved people were not permitted to legally marry and jumping over a broom served as the ceremony.

I was worried I wouldn’t be interested in this video for the entire over 30 minutes, but it was just fascinating. Thanks for the info.

Outdoor weddings aren't exclusively civil. It can be a pastor in outdoor weddings.

18:45 Some people in Germany also book a horse carriage. My uncle had one on his wedding when I atended it with 2 beautiful dark brown gigantic horses

My nephews car was marked "Just Marred", because his friends, all college graduates, couldn't spell. The poem has more to it. Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue and a sixpence in her shoe. It's an old English rhyme.

In my son’s elementary school the students put on a production of a Gilbert & Sullivan opertta, and their was a call for dresses for the girls in the cast and Mom’s were happy to donate their bridesmaid’s dresses. It was hysterical!

Most weddings I’ve been to are early afternoon, but back in the 70s, they were generally around 7 PM.

I attended a polish family wedding in Chicago. This was the first time I was at a first generation emigrant to the US wedding. The catholic wedding was nothing new to me, nor was the initial reception, but what was is that most of the attendees took a little break from the reception around 10:30 only to return after a quick nap and the party continued until sun rise!

I find these comments very endearing! Just a side note: I married into a family that does dairy farming. Cows have to be milked twice a day. So our wedding was in the morning. And then my wife had to change out of her bridal clothes to work at the barn. Only once before, I was expected to milk the cows. You should know, that all the cows have names. All 160 of them! After that, we had to do a shower / bath, to attend the opening of the presents. And in full wedding dress [For what it is worth, I wore white, and so did my bride.] Apparently, it is unusual for the new bride & groom to look at their wedding presents on the day of the wedding. *sigh* we had already booked our honeymoon at Disney in Florida. The plane left at 2:30am that day. I am ever so grateful for my brother driving us to the airport. But we had to open our gifts before going to the honeymoon. My brother kept all the gifts for us later. Apparently when Disney discovers these wedding plans, they might send a shuttle to pick us from the airport, right to your hotel. On two occasions, the staff that cleans our room, called us 'Lovebirds'. Yes!!

Bavarian here, had a traditional bavarian Wedding, I wore a Dirndl, my Husband a Trachtenanzug. Most guest wore Tracht as well. Both of my sisters also married in Dirndl... we could wear the Dirndls on all three weddings, all were not white. And we did not have engagement rinds

I’m American but a Hispanic American. We also, my family and other Hispanics where I live, do the kidnapping the bride thing. We’re from Colorado. Also we do a dance called La Vibora de La Mar .

Pittsburgh area weddings have a cookie table. Usually there are some homemade cookies there from both families. Everyone looks forward to this at Pittsburgh weddings.

"DiscoFox" is called Hustle in the US and it has been around for many decades. There was a version of it in the movie "Saturday Night Fever". I would agree that few people in the US learn to social dance (lead / follow).

Speaking as a former banquet waiter - you hire a hall and get maybe 4-5 hours then the waiters pack up.

Thanks Feli for this very well-done video. 👍 Looking forward to Part II: "American vs. German divorces". 😂 Love your channel!

I’m from Germany, but I attended a wedding in India several years ago. It began with the groom riding on a horse (and with his groom’s men dancing around him) slowly parading to the bride’s family home, to „get her“. The bride and her bride’s maides then joined the parade and everybody was dancing toward the wedding location (a hotel). The ceremony itself took very look (few hours), but only bride and groom and their families were actively involved. The rest of the wedding party took place around that just like nothing was happening 😅 After the ceremony bride and groom and the families joint in the festivities. At about 10 p.m. the hotel manager, where the wedding took place, stopped the music and announced the party to be over, because he wanted to go to bed 😂

Here in France 🇫🇷 weddings are generally at the mayor's office. If the couple chooses, they can also have a ceremony in a church or elsewhere.

Loved the photos of you and Ben from the weddings! :-) Hope you two have a great week of the 4th! Thanks for the great video!

I just went to a wedding in Arkansas where the ceremony was on top of a hill overlooking a large lake and the surrounding hills and trees. The view was stunning.

My husband is from Augsburg, & he was watching this with me & said that you did a good job with the research & explaining the differences.

In the US we get a mix of German, English, Italian, Jewish, you name it customs. It's pretty open as to what you do. We even have themed weddings where people dress up or reinact things.

The amount of research that goes into these videos is impressive. Good job!

I've been to 2 German weddings and countless American ones. The German ones were much more fun, and actually simpler, the whole bridezilla syndrome didn't exist. The American ones, when it is a traditional one, tends to try to outshine others. Those kinds (at wineries, beach, church, etc) are boring and painful. While those American weddings that are themed, tend to be a blast. This year alone was a May the Fourth space sci Fi themed, and another one was DnD themed, both at exquisite locations and with all the traditional elements, but with things to do WITH the guests.

Perhaps things are not so different. You did mention that Catholic weddings are similar in our different countries, with the couple kneeling. Also, since it is part of a Mass, Catholic weddings tend to be at least an hour, and in the US are generally earlier in the day. I think this is common among Catholics worldwide, but I may be wrong. I understand that although giving the bride away is a common tradition throughout the US, it is originally a Protestant tradition. In my part of the US, in northern New Mexico, there is the practice of having the bride be kidnapped, and I thought it was an old Spanish tradition. Northern New Mexico was originally settled by the Spaniards in the 1500s. In m experience, however, the bride is not freed until the wedding guests come up with enough money to pay the "ransom" , which is a gift to help get the couple started. I suppose that the kidnapped bride tradition is an old European tradition that was probably lost in the United States over the years, but has survived in some areas.

I went to an 85th birthday party in Germany that lasted into the wee hours. I went to bed around 2:00, earlier than the birthday girl. I got married the week that 9/11 happened. At least the airports opened that Friday, so most of our guest still made it. They said it was good to have something positive to focus on.

I find your comments about the length of the reception quite interesting. I come from a Protestant family where most of the weddings I attended were held in the same church, which doesn't allow alcohol or dancing. So our receptions were always pretty short compared to what you're talking about. It's usually still daylight outside (or barely dark) by the time everyone has left. Although, we always started our weddings sooner than what you're talking about. The reception is supposed to be for dinner time, like 5 or 6pm. So the wedding always started earlier like 3 or 4pm. Also it isn't like everyone leaves at a particular time at the end since my church has its own reception hall. We leave whenever we want, but there isn't any paid staff, just church volunteers, so a bunch of us stick around to help clean up and take home extra food.

Well, you haven't seen ballroom dancing at a wedding reception because you haven't been to the wedding of a couple who danced competitively, lol. My youngest sister and her hubby, when they got married, they had a spectacular first dance and had the whole room set up so they could do their first dance well. And, of course, since they had friends from ballroom there, there was a lot of neat dancing to watch during the reception.

Tying cans to a bumper used to be a thing but it's not so much anymore since the polices started cracking down on "unsafe" items attached to cars and trucks. The rule was really meant for commercial trucks, like pumpers, construction workers or electricians but the cops like any excuse to give a ticket.

Thanks! You did A LOT of research for this video. Very interesting.

In the self-unite ceremony in Colorado, my friends had their cats witness their marriage license by stamping their paws on the license.

Thank you for the video. I can't wait for the next show.

I’m American living in California (my mother was from München😊). I’ve been to a Mexican wedding which had a Large wedding party of about 30 people and a traditional Mexican band. Also an Indian wedding where the bride wore a red sari 🥻 and the wedding lasted for two days.

Father guiding the bride to the altar and giving her hand into the hand of the groom is seen as an ancient image of ownership over the woman in many cases, therefore several other styles have been developed here in Germany and other northern countries. Sometimes the groom waits at the church door and together they walk in to the altar to set a sign that it is THEIR decision to marry. Or the bride is guided to the church door and walks in alone to make sure that it is her independent decision. Or other variants. The "guiding father" is not totally abandonned in most variants to pay respect to the raising family except there is none or other reasons.

Very well done. That was fun!

Northern Germany here. Yep, the groom's pants and the bride's bra were burnt. Don't ask me why, this tradition was also new to me..

Hey Feli, you're right, in north Germany it's normal to burn the pants and the bra at the ,,Polterabend''. Digging a hole for a box with schnaps, maybe some letters and dig it out again one year later. I'm from lower Saxony and we do have some more traditional things over here :) Do you know ,,Hochzeitbitten''? Its really fun, but it's hard you will meet your group on weekends a few times, depending on how many guests the bride and groom wants to invite. So the bicycles are decorated in coloured stuff, the ,,Hochzeitsbitter'' are wearing a hat and bring all the inviting cards to the guest. If you ring the door from the guest, first you need to read a self-made poem which fits to the bridal pair and then you have to drink lots of ,,schnaps''. That's why you need a few weekends for inviting all guests like this, because you just get maybe 5 different guests on one day or so. Its maybe not so popular anymore these days but it is so much fun and I love this tradition, after 3 weekends it could be possible then, that the alcohol doesn't taste that good anymore 😂 I did it myself for my brother's wedding in 2014 with 4 other guys and I think it was 6 Saturdays in a role, each Saturday we just got four or five guests, depending how far they live from each other. And on one point you are too drunk to drive further on your bike 😂

The wedding convoy, following the bride and groom to the reception, was very common in the US when there were more church weddings and receptions at other locations. I have only seen one wedding with games that the bride and groom had to play. The „Something borrowed …“ rhyme also requires the bride to put an old English sixpence in her shoe.

Feli, I really love your extremely well researched videos and your beautiful way of delivering content.

Grüße aus Leipzig, ich habe deinen Kanal jetzt abonniert. Ich finde deine Videos spannend und lehrreich, danke dafür.

hi Feli,💗💗 good information, how ever I'm 80 years old and I think those days are over for me.

Something Old... is followed by "and a lucky sixpence in the shoe".For financial luck. I actually did this. An old brooch, a new clutch, a borrowed handkerchief from my best friend , a blue garter and a cent in the shoe.

Thank you for this video! I'm a wedding officiant full-time since 2009. I do weddings of all types, religions, and traditions. I'm always learning, even after all this time, so thank you for another bit of information I can use for any German couples I may have in the future!

"Shiveree" is a rural custom where the bride is kidnapped and the groom is detained, sometimes ocrt night. I did not see a comment about this trafition, but I did notcread all comments.

Receptions have an end time because you must quit or leave the venue by a particular time to respect the venue and its employees’ time. Staying overtime results in exorbitant fees and financial penalties.

Not sure how common this is in the U.S., but couples oftentimes do not cut the top layer of the wedding cake at the reception, but freeze it and then thaw it and eat it on their one year anniversary. However, it is good idea to make sure that it is a real cake in the top layer and not just a piece of decorated styrofoam. Imagine having this big frozen cake taking up freezer space for a year and finding out it was not real. Yeah, just imagine… 😝

Great video with plenty of information. Regarding mentioned honking convoy (18:15): I grew up in Bavaria (Germany) in one of the many small villages. The next church was like 2 miles (5km) away. So there was also a convoy forming on the way to the church already, lead by the wedding car and followed by honking cars anouncing that an engaged couple is on the way to get merried. I can remember following tradition: As a kid (in the 80s/early 90s), in case we (and neighbours) knew the wedding car will drive by our home on the way to church, we (an also neighbours with kids) would fix a long rope at the opposite side of the road. Before the wedding car is about to drive by our home, we then raised the rope to make them stop. The rope was only lowered after they threw some sweets (ususally bonbons or lollipops) out of the window for us kids to pick up. As an adult, I never heard of this tradition to be conducted anymore.

Nice research and presentation!

I’ve been to two weddings in Germany. Both brides rented their gowns.

only one question... when is Feli's wedding.

That was fun!

12:25 you may have just pulled random wedding footage to get this shot, but this is actually where I got married! It’s a wedding venue located in Tucson, AZ called Saguaro Buttes. That was nice to see, even though my marriage ended under rather tragic circumstances.

Wedding DJ here, Washington State, USA. Thanks for sharing the German traditions. I find it very interesting to learn of traditions from other countries. It is amazing how the traditions differ from place to place, even different parts of the US. Here most venues have a hard end time of 10:00. Just a few miles to the North, in British Columbia, Canada, they go to 2 or 3 AM. As far as games and other activities, I highly encourage these. I have various games for the couple and the guests to play. And I really like it when the family or friends come up with special things like songs or dances.

Es gibt Reis Baby! (Frei nach Helge Schneider)Wenn das Brautpaar die Kirche verlässt wird es normalerweise immer mit Reis beworfen als Zeichen der Fruchtbarkeit.

Feli we love your channel. Great information always. In the usa, some limousines have a bridal horn. Some people have the ceremony early and in one place. The reception is in a different place, several hours later that you have to drive to.

Little bit off topic. I really like the way you speak and your distinct inflection and cadence.

Been married almost 19 years (we are in Cincy but got married in Indiana) We did have a gift table. When we got married, most registries were done in the store and then people bought the gift and wrapped and brought it. Our whole wedding event lasted maybe 3 hours. Not a ton of dancing because even though there were a lot of people there, our reception was in the little church basement and tables to eat took up most space. I don’t think we had the money to rent out a larger space, and the church was free. Overall, I think our wedding cost less than 5k. We had a late wedding, because we were worried getting married on a Friday that people would have to get off work and then get ready. So we got married at 7:30pm! Guests didn’t get to eat until 9! I definitely would plan things differently if I could go back in time, but we were in our early 20s and my family made most of the decisions, and we just went along with them. One fun thing to mention is the throwing of rice or blowing bubbles or sparklers when the bride and groom leave an American wedding. During our wedding ceremony, the first thing we did was play a video a slideshow of photos. It was three songs. The first song was photos of myself growing up, second song my husband growing up, and third were photos of our time together. I had been to weddings that did this in the past and I really enjoyed it because there are usually quite a few guests that just one either the bride or groom, but not both. Is there a tradition in Germany where the groom and bride don’t see each other on their wedding day? Or that the groom doesn’t see the bride in her dress before the wedding? Some people think it’s bad luck if the groom sees the dress ahead of time. I know all of these things we do are based on superstitions or old traditions- but sometimes they are fun. Enjoyed the video!

Are you trying to give us a hint Feli? this was interesting and did not know the Wedding traditions between the USA and Germany.

Das mit dem Strumpfband haben wir auf unserer Hochzeit gemacht, da von unserem Freundes- und Bekanntenkreises nur die Männer unverheiratet waren. Vor unserer Hochzeit waren wir auf einer Hochzeit von Freunden eingeladen, bei welchen ich den Brautstrauß gefangen habe. Die Dekoelemente dessen habe ich dann in meinem eigenen Strauß wieder genutzt, was die damalige Braut natürlich freute. Was auf Dörfern in Mitteldeutschland auch zum Polterabend gerne gemacht wird, sind große Puppen aus Strohballen am Ortseingang zu bauen und mit den Namen der Brautleute zu versehen.

Wedding reception parties end at specific times in the US is purely money. The event workers have to clean up and don't want to be there working 16 hours. The longer they work in a single day, the more money each must be paid. By some state laws, they must be paid 2x for "overtime" - anything over 8 hrs. The last family wedding a few weeks ago happened 20 miles outside the city in an old farm house that had been converted into an events location. Almost everyone attending was from out of town (or Germany), so a specific hotel block of rooms was arranged and nice shuttle buses were organized so people didn't have to drive out to the wedding+dinner+reception location.

The hoky poky was a common dance song.

Discofox is a derivation of western swing, jitterbug, rockstep, or similar. These dances are common at wedding receptions but not usually organized.

I used to be a rental coordinator at a popular site for weddings and the way it worked was that you rented the building for 12 hours (that included decorating and setup time). You picked when the event began and ended depending on what time the wedding was. But all rentals had a midnight deadline, so noon was the latest to begin the rental. That’s because, especially since most weddings were on Saturday and the staff wasn’t normally there, we had to hire someone to be there in case of any problems (and make sure that the renters didn’t destroy the place) and we found that the most we could reasonably ask one person to stay there was 12 hours!

@23:02 Ben caught the garter belt, looks like you’ll be next to have a wedding!

A tradition in my North-Western region of Germany is "Kränzen" ("wreathing"): During they days before the wedding, the neighbours create a wreath of paper flowers and greenery all around the couple's front door and they get alcohol for this (also, sometimes a clothline full of baby clothes and a stork is put up). To do this, they need the measurements of the door and at the first day, they arrive with only one piece of the folding rule and complain about it being too short, but get a drink anyway! The second day, they bring the next part of the folding rule and so on. I don't drink alcohol (therefore skipping the bachelorette party) but I still find this quite funny! I got married in October 2022 and was in a few wedding groups in social media, international (mostly US) and German ones. It was so interesting to see the differences! What shocked me most was how super short American weddings are - paying so much money for only 5 hours?! With paying 10k on a 15 hours wedding you get a much better deal than with paying 30k on a 5 hours wedding ... But also, it seems to be so stressful with coordinating the bridal party. In comparison, my wedding planning was extremely relaxed: No wedding party, not being bothered with what other people would be wearing, no drama because some pre-wedding event was not planned the way I wanted (I had no pre-wedding events at all), not buying several outfits for several events. And: Here in Germany, if you rent a venue, it's the standard that it provides you tables, chairs, tablecloths etc. - and if they offer catering, you also get dishes, cutlery, napkins, often even candlesticks ... it's a bit shocking for me that many people in the US have to get those things themselves! But also, many people in the US seem to see a wedding invitation as something totally noncommital - I have heard SO many brides (or rather: wives) complain about lots of people not showing up on the wedding despite having RSVPd "yes". That usually does not happen in Germany. Oh, and what I found interesting is that registries and RSVP cards are still a thing in the US. Both of that have been out of style in Germany for decades! Maybe because the average age for the first wedding is much higher - you don't need many househould items at 33 anymore, but also, when someone gets married at age 20, parents are more involved and probably opt for a more traditional style. The 700-1000 € price for a wedding dress is outdated, unfortunately - the average in Germany is 1.500 € today, not that far away from the American price range. What I find interesting is that a lot more American then German brides wear a veil! I've seen many German brides without one, but nearly all American brides that posted pictures of their wedding had a veil. By the way: I once read an old book (from the 70ies or 80ies) and at that time, it seemed to be normal that the couple leaves their reception after about 2 hours to start the honeymoon. But back then, a wedding reception was more like a birthday party and not as expensive as today. Imagine spending thousands and thousands of € for a party, planning all those little details for months or even years and then leaving after only 2 hours! And: Diamond engagement rings LITERALLY are a marketing scam by the jewelry industry, there is a lot of information about that on the internet. I told my husband beforehand that I did not want an expensive ring that I only wear for a few months (wearing your engagement ring after the wedding is not very common here). Lastly: I'm so envious about the option of combining last names! My husband and I could have made the German poetic name for "fox" out of our names, but not allowed in Bureaucracy Land ...

The last wedding reception I went too was polish......it was great...good food.

Thank you, a great video. I got married in Finland decades ago, and everyrything was pretty similar to both US and Germany. Our bachelor/bachelorette parties were a lot of fun. My beautiful bride was kidnapped by our friends of course but after a beer at a local pub, she was promptly returned.

A head table is also common in Germany as I attended a lot of weddings with one.

I don't suggest getting married in a blizzard, Best American movie wedding is in The Deer Hunter. This is shockingly accurate for a Vietnam era Pittsburgh

In Greece the women keep their surnames. The children take the father’s surname. When the average marriage in the US was 7 years, I had a sociology professor tell the class, so when you say, “Till death do us part,” think 7 years.😂

Great video! Thank you so much.