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Welcome to the Otherhood | Melanie Notkin | TEDxBergenCommunityCollege 

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You may think you recognize me as one of those women sipping cosmopolitans with her girlfriends talking about men, sex and $500 shoes. Or, perhaps it’s my “career woman” look that you recognize; the kind of woman who is so focused on her job, working such late hours to get ahead, that she has no idea what time it is on her biological clock. Or, maybe it’s what you don’t see that helps you identify me; no spit up on my sweater - and no preschoolers tugging at it from below to get my attention. You may think that I’m typical of one of those “childfree, carefree women.”
But maybe, despite my social life, my career success, my spotless attire, you’re wrong about me. And wrong about most of the other women who fit this stereotype.
Melanie Notkin is a leading expert on the emerging demographic of childless, often single, women. She is founder and personality behind Savvy Auntie®, the beloved lifestyle brand celebrating modern aunthood, and national bestselling author of Savvy Auntie: The Ultimate Guide for Cool Aunts, Great-Aunts, Godmothers, and All Women Who Love Kids. In 2009, she established Auntie's Day® the first annual day to celebrate and honor aunts. Her 2014 reported memoir, Otherhood: Modern Women Finding a New Kind of Happiness, received a Booklist *Starred Review*.
Notkin has shared her national research on the rising demographics of what she dubbed PANKs® - or, Professional Aunts No Kids, and Otherhood® - or, non-mothers, along with her popular voice on behalf of her cohorts as a keynote speaker to several consumer and corporate groups.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

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23 мар 2017

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Комментарии : 390   
@christinemarie6976
@christinemarie6976 4 года назад
My sister and I used to joke about which one of us would make the sacrifice to let the other become an aunt. Turns out neither one of us was willing to do so.
@rose4490
@rose4490 4 года назад
I'm a middle aged cat lady, and I really want a dog, or another cat. I really can't stand it when I'm minding my own business, someone asks me if I have kids, I say, "nope", and the person says, "well, you can always adopt". I just think it's rude, because I'm cool not having kids, I never said anything about wanting kids, but so many people just naturally project their values onto me, and I don't appreciate it.
@eac26114653
@eac26114653 7 лет назад
I am a 46 year old man. I am child free and proud of it. Let's stop judging all people and all things.
@Weegee766
@Weegee766 5 лет назад
I worked with kids for 9 years. Best birth control ever.
@KJSvitko
@KJSvitko 4 года назад
There are too many children being born to mothers that can not provide for them.
@bellebreeze
@bellebreeze 7 лет назад
why does it sound that not having kids can be acceptable only if we nurture other's kids?
@nurseelena8521
@nurseelena8521 4 года назад
Life is more than children, trust me. "Having children is very overrated" - unknown
@goldenglider1703
@goldenglider1703 5 лет назад
I am a childless woman by choice! Some people have kids and some dont, it's simple, people need to get over it.
@bigmike4133
@bigmike4133 5 лет назад
I'm 33 years old I've been married for 13 years and we enjoy a child free environment. My wife works with children and cares very deeply for them but we simply have no interest in them for ourselves.
@swicel
@swicel 3 года назад
I'm in my mid 30s and always wanted to have kids. A lot of women want but the circumstances are becoming just so hard. Work, money, apartments, finding the right partner, men don't commit anymore. It's becoming really a struggle.
@thinkgrowhealthy2137
@thinkgrowhealthy2137 4 года назад
I am childfree and a school teacher. I see kids all day teach play...but Indom't have to bathe them or cook for them. But I hate society consider us less.
@Venusbabe66
@Venusbabe66 7 лет назад
Thank you Melanie for spreading the word of the Otherhood! Everything you said resonated with me, a European born woman who grew up to live in Australia. I now know that once you emotionally deal with the grief of not having 'the dream' family, being a PANK teaches us that life is a gift worth savouring in its own right, no matter your life circumstances. Some people never allow themselves the introspection necessary to learn this most important life wisdom. To Live and Love is all there is... it's our individual choice as to how we manifest this. Love and light sister! 💖
@anncarte8106
@anncarte8106 5 лет назад
Also another circumstance for not having children is financial issues and mental health problems. I'm in my 30s and have been with my amazing husband since high school. I want kids a lot, but I've been putting off kids due to being in the poverty level and currently due to my mental health problems. I hope to get to a place where I'm mentally able to have kids before I lose my chance to have them. I don't hear many other people talk about this issue.
@mikaylaschroeder6629
@mikaylaschroeder6629 2 года назад
I relate to the 'irresponsible aunt" statement. I feel like my sister doesn't and never did trust me with her kids alone. Also, I recently found out (from my niece and nephew) that my sister told her kids that I was a a big drinker or partier or something - because in my choice to go to university that was a part of my early experience, as it is with many college kids. My sister, instead dropped out of school and started a family... BTW, I'm 33 now....I've been out of uni for more than a decade and now I have a couple drinks every 3 months or so and I have lived the last 10 years fully, living in 5 different countries and travelling to many more. I have a successful and happy career and I have been with "the one" for 5+ years. But it seems like my family will never respect me until I get married and have kids.
@klepece
@klepece 3 года назад
37 and unexpectedly ❤ pregnant after having already accepted I might never have kids. I'm so thankful I wasn't able to have kids earlier because I found happiness and purpose in so many other thing in life! I'm also thankful for this chance to be a mother now. But I will be so much more than just a mom! Life really is so much more than having kids! Thank you for this beautiful talk 🥰
@mgmail7279
@mgmail7279 5 лет назад
Caution to others: I gave unconditionally to my niece and nephews - love and expensive items requested by their parents - only to be completely tossed aside now that the niece/nephews are adults. I spent more on their individual items than I did on most items for myself. I regret that now. So look at the parents of the children to whom you are an aunt/uncle. If they treat you badly, their children will ultimately do the same.
@jackiep6743
@jackiep6743 4 года назад
"Disenfranchised grief." It's a great term.
@shanahaim5935
@shanahaim5935 4 года назад
Thank you for a great talk. I have noted that men who chose to stay single and childless are batchelors with their options no get married and have kids never going away. Women are called spinsters and there is a stigma and pressure on us to have those kids everyone and sometimes us want. It’s a cruel world and something we can’t control. People should be much more understanding
@Me-wk3ix
@Me-wk3ix 5 лет назад
Great talk! Off topic, but she looks amazing for being in her late 40s!
@ngonigriffith8856
@ngonigriffith8856 6 лет назад
Very well said! You represent not married no kids single women in such a positive way. Thank you!
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