Glad to see all the comments here! Even those mean, vicious ones - that means I made them care about this topic. Mission accomplished :) It can be a very serious topic as I see many comments focus on "racism". But I just feel it's a very funny subject as well. Why don't we laugh about it and all enjoy better life in 2018?
🦋 just found this site... your presentation was amusing and heartfelt! I am very happy you found the love of your life... God bless you and much happiness!
Wang Jia you re so pathetic that you more than happy that could get some overrated white woman , you’re just bucks buddy for her with your profession, but yeah whatever makes you happy matters good luck
oh my god what a legend, this man has gone through everything I have and instead of becoming angry and bitter like me, he accepted the game and played it like a pro. Seriously, what a role model
So, um... Did he just say that he's not good looking just because he's Asian? Hard working over good looking, right? Dude isn't ugly. WTF? Asian doesn't mean ugly... My husband is Asian, and sooooooooooo not ugly.
Handsome sounds like something used in 1948 to me. I don't think I legitimately hear anyone use 'Handsome' to describe hot men under 45 years old anymore.
I'm actually a linguist who studies linguistic evolution, so yes, if you come to the USA or Canada, if you say "Handsome" people will understand you, of course; however, it's rarely used in every day conversation by women my age to talk about men. "Hot" is used for anyone, if you know them or not, but "cute" could sound personal I guess. I think my husband is very attractive, but saying "soooooo not ugly" was meant to better emphasize the original point, and place heavy emphasis on the negation, while still sounding informal and relaxed. You can see another example of this usage in English when someone says, "Oh, I have to blow my nose!" and then someone else looks at them and says, "Ew, could you NOT?" Same kind of thing. The person could just say, "Don't" but with the NOT in there, it emphasizes the negative there. Also, well thank you.
No one is forcing you to be here. You're trying to troll and failing miserably, so if you are oh-so-bored, feel free to stop getting notifications for this post.
Im korean, and i love slavic women, particularly polish women. Everytime i go to poland, im given respect and love, and its much different from american women who hate us I cant wait to go to poland again!
Geesh you fell into the same social media stigma for instead of White guys, in the Asian culture it's plastic surgery Korean guys. You need to stop following propaganda sister.
@@andreabedford717 Did you not listen to anything the guy was talking about the entire speech? Most people follow in the the tend of media or societal acceptance because of the way they were "made" to believe through many avenues of government to social media to advertisement to celebrity status. In the Asian world, Koreans have taken the portrait of doing what it take to beautify their physical looks to be more Western looking than to look Asian. I hope you do understand this to their sexappeal.
People don’t under stand his dry humor lol, it’s not about white approval, he is pointing out a problem in the dating culture and the disadvantages of asian men.
We Asian men need to broaden up our dating spectrum. It doesnt have to be only white women, I dont know why we chase white women exclusively, it's not like they are the only race to have beauty.
Asian men always chasing white women? That's news to me. I have only ever seen WMAF. I would like to see more AMWF couples. But yeah, it wouldn't be a bad idea for them to date other races as well.
I grew up in East Asia, honestly it was quite hard to be attracted to non-Asian races because I was shy meeting people. When I stopped hesitating as much, I met more people and even people of other ethnic groups. That helped me to expand my dating spectrum to all races.
That's because society has elevated the white women (especially the blonde attractive ones) to a high status that to have an attractive white girlfriend or wife means that you are in the upper crust. This perception is true for other non-white races and white "average" men as well.
Too bad for you all. As an Asian American, i dated the rainbow. Easy picking for me since none of my Asian counterparts have the guts to date outside white or their own race. Thanks for leaving them all for me :)
As an Chinese girl who got bullied in high school for looking too nerdy and having a high GPA, I actually prefer dating Asian men--especially the smart ones. In college I found that the Asian guys majoring in engineering are the best boyfriend material. So a PhD in ChemE is totally an attractive quality in my eyes. Because for me, intelligence is just about the sexiest trait. If you're in STEM, all the better.
I am a white american woman with an Asian man, he isn't a doctor or lawyer. We don't make a lot of money. However, we both work hard for what we have, and we love each other very much. Me personally, my preference is Asian men over other men. They are very loving and very sweet, awesome personalities from my experience. The only issue where I live is that Asian men might make up 3% of the population so they are kind of difficult to come across.
@@babygirl6789 she never said she does that. She is saying she prefers. She didnt say she wouldnt have dated other men ever, she just said she prefers and also listed personality as something being important. She doesnt like every Asian man, just that she prefers Asian men. Just like some Indian men prefer Indian women or white women or Asian women.
Thank you for showing me how lucky my husband actually is to have me, lol. He is from China and I am white, American. I don’t think I could have made a marriage work with anyone else. We are made for each other, from opposite sides of the world.
Brings up some good points, and I would add another point to the obstacles that he lists here in his talk. Asian men also have a different standard of what defines masculinity. Asian cultures Define masculinity different than Western cultures, and so are the things that they strive to achieve in order to show their masculine nature is not something that Western women traditionally look for when choosing a mate! Additionally, it is interesting to know that based on Pew research, The top-earning Newlywed couples in the United States are Asian male married to Asian female. And the second highest earning newlywed couples in the United States are Asian male marred to white female. This indicates higher level of education, and potentially marrying later in life, instead of starting families when you are still a teenager or in your early twenties. And it may also indicate that those with higher educational backgrounds also have higher exposure to those are various cultural backgrounds, and ability to remain understanding and tolerant through inevitable conflict of culture and language differences, and understand how to resolve conflict well. I have personally experienced this, as I and from the United States and majored in International Studies, minored in a foreign language and went to school in Japan, have also traveled to 18 countries around the world, including Asia. My current boyfriend is from the Republic of Korea, we've been together for five years, and we have had many times where we have to learn to understand the different cultural perspective of the other person, in order to resolve conflict. Not to mention we are still learning each other's native language. This in and of itself can be somewhat limiting and how we express ourselves, and the level at which we can express through words. But it also requires us to be malleable and compassionate toward one another... and it requires us to be Resolute to resolve conflict peaceably and with a desire to Harbor a greater understanding of alternate perspectives other than our own. We have both learned a lot, and I'm sure as we remain together it will be a lifetime of much learning from one another and learning together.
I think a lot of close minded people missed the point of this video too busy judging to listen; it's not about what he wanted in a woman it was about what women think about other men in cultures or nationalities that aren't from their race. Like they say love doesn't see color race religion. He's saying open ur heart to see outside the box that surrounds you you never know what opportunities may be there
Times are changing even since this speech. The rise of kpop and Asian cinema in Hollywood are changing the perception of Asian men globally. Still a long way to go, but over the last few yrs, I've seen real changes in how woman talk about Asian guys. The younger generation through social media has grown up with more authentic Asian influences. As an Asian guy, it's really cool to see these positive changes happen in front of me.
@Amer Shahatha yep because china is becoming the new world super power and Asian culture are becoming more influence. Asia change so much in the last 15 years.
Check out my other TEDx speeches as well - the one on Pickup artists is particularly relevant to many Asian men. It's a complicated subject by itself. Welcome your thoughts!!
Hi! I'm really interested on what you said. Because, for real, in Latin America women are interested on Asians however Asian men are the ones that are not interested because they want someone white
Oh my husband is a Japanese with a degree of masters in chemical engineering. He's the perfect man I've ever met. I love him so much. Happy wife, happy life!
We need another Bruce Lee to change the stereotypes. I remember watching his movie the first time and never forget, the guy was so charismatic and powerful. My cousin had a VHS casette that time. I think those who had that experience, remember.
I'm 100% European, I speak Chinese by taking classes and learning, I live in the US. I would marry an Asian man no problem, same with a Black man or a Indian man or a Native man. 🌻
It sucks people write such rude comments. I'm Chinese and I appreciate your openness to dating anyone regardless of race! I also think European girls are usually more open minded as most if not all European countries are not as obsessed with race as in the US historically and currently. Good for you!
awww he and his wife make such a cute couple!! I am so happy he found his dream girl! I found this quite fascinating from a Euroneisan perspective~~ Thanks for sharing!
Elsa Estée the fact that you clicked on this video makes you different. It still doesn’t stop the fact that most western women pass off Asian men and don’t give them a chance
@überguy a preference in race needs to stop. You can have a physical and mental attraction with anyone from any race. The reason Asian men are deemed unattractive is because of stereotypes of Asian men being non-masculine. That is why Asian women have no problem getting a white guy because society has sexualized them. This is changing but it’s still ingrained today. I’ve been dating a Taiwanese guy for 6 years and the amount of times I was told by my female friends that he’s not their type, which made me second guess even starting something with him. Even though he’s attractive, smart, masculine and put together.
Dear asian brother, This guy hit it on point. I have dated black, yellow, white, pink, and purple women of types using this technique. Stop making excuses just because your asian. Man up, grab your balls and just go for it.
Wow, he's not talking about all western women he's referring to only white western women. He should have specifically stated, just white western women.
Well, if we talk about African women, people assume they are not white, although there are whites living in African too. And if we talk about Japanese women, we assume ethnic Japanese, not a white immigrant from the US who got the Japanese citizenship. Western often refers to white European and nothing wrong with that.
AMLW I love to see Asian men find their true loves. I am especially tickled when it's with a non Asian woman. Many of the woman, including family members have Asian men as a preference. My cousin in Mexico asked me how she could attract an Asian man. I told her "well you're 15 now so I'm glad you asked me. Start studying hard now go toa great college in the states, either UCLA or Harvard. Find a great paying career and you will meet Asian men like crazy!" She was grateful she asked 😍😍💕💕💕😋
Not all of us white girls are like that. Some of us, like me, love Asian men lol If you had told me that you had a phd in chemical engineering, I would have been sooooo in love lol
Can totally relate to you (minus the dating Western women bit). Stereotype: I broke the stereotype by becoming more active in sports (I picked up climbing and scuba diving). Although one stereotype did remain with me: Asian man can cook XD Cultural barrier: I broke it down by reading more and communicating more with people from different countries and cultures, and genuinely want to learn more about them. Physical: I stopped wasting time and actually approached women be it online or offline. I went for speed dating events. I asked ladies out on dates not just over text but in person. Rejection became second nature to me (it still hurt but the hurt reduced overtime). Finally after 6 painful years of being single, I bumped into a wonderful lady during a meetup event for a night festival.
Wang Jia - I think if you were to buff up a bit more you would be quite a handsome guy. Oriental guys are often too thin and not masculine in appearance comparing to guys of other races.
Congrats on meeting your dream partner! Yes this is a very deep routed propaganda in the Western society. As being Asian American, my self and many of the social circles I had growing up this has been the case 99% of the time. As a child growing up many Western girls always had crushes and fantasy being with myself or Asian friends but their parents would always tell them not to think that way about Asians boys. As we got older the friendships with the opposite gender became more distance as the Western parents propagated the incompatibility factor of even being associated around Asians boys "but not girls." Pretty much by the time of graduating high school it had been ingrained into the minds of most in Western world even "Asian Women," Asian men are not possible partners for relationships through the influence of social media to new to the public society. The once great friendships we had growing up had become nothing more than a memory. Racism is a real thing that people don't even understand or know they have become victim to because of what propaganda entails is acceptable.
My aunt (she is still a great looking woman and he a handsome man in their 70's.)married a chinese man who was a PhD. in engineering at Colege.(actually he was getting his PhD. during the early phase of their marriage.
I see lots of white guys with asian women in the Pacific Northwest - where there are large Asian populations. There are going to be tons of half Asian half white kids over the next decades - it will be a new ethnic category soon. I can only imagine if the Asian population was larger what would happen. Asian women just have something about them that is very attractive. It's probably good of the gene pool too - to have different intelligent peoples mix. But they end up looking Asian.... Hmmm.....
I never commented on youtube, but this time I did. Why? Because I saw so many people talking mean things to him. What is wrong with you guys? His English is way better than most of Chinese, including Chinese who are now studying abroad. His speech was good as well, well structured, with humor. He has a PhD degree. From what I heard is he was trying to use it to attract girls. Later he understood it was not that effective. Just like so many guys try to impress women with fancy cars or money. Won't you do the same if you have the same so called "advantages"? And I believe what he talked about is not only his problem. We've seen that too much around us. The fact is, most Chinese guys would show off is they have a white girlfriend, or even just a girlfriend from a developed country. If they don't get one, they would just attack women who have white boyfriends/husbands. Now they are trying to attack someone who just wanted to share his experience to adapt to western culture... Can't understand that at all...
Heather Wang Well-said. And Jia referred to females as "women" and "ladies" rather than "girls" the way so many white guys (I know) do. He struck me as a gentleman who respects women, which is rare today.
I can't agree more. He's humormous and attractive to me if I were a female , at least for me, a Taiwanese male. But he got negative comments here based on his color, though people here don't wanna admit that. However, I love his speech.
This guy is halarious. Made many good points. I think after you realize that there are hurdles with any race the tipping point is when focus on what you can change then you always prevail.
This is uplifting! Where do you live, that you have noticed this? I am caucasian dating a man from India, we are both in our later 20's. I have to say, I have only noticed wmaf couples, but I never really took their age into consideration.
It totally depends on where you live. As for where I live, yes, I have seen an increase in AMWF couples; but, the increase is still too little compared to WMAF couples around here.
@@mickymouse2445 It's not just kpop there was a huge increase back when Japanese fashion and culture was popular but now there's definitely going to be another increase since k-dramas and k-pop have really been taking off in the past 5 or so years
True, but the chances of her wanting you are much higher than her not wanting you if she wants to dance with you (keyword: WANTS, not just dancing out of politeness)
I'm a "white" woman and I have always felt that men of all races can be attractive to me. I have always felt that Asian guys are vary attractive and kind hearted. Some Asian men I have seen have been down right gorgeous. I have always been the shy one never to approach feeling that I would most likely not be attractive to them. They after all could be with vary attractive Asian women, I would think, why would they want to be with me ? I guess I was wrong. Maybe Asian guys are not less preferred among women as you might think. Maybe women are just as afraid of being turned down as Asian guys are. :-)
This is a nice way of putting it! And I think it's absolutely correct. I do not feel intelligent enough, nor pretty enough, to have genuinely attract my current Indian boyfriend... I just waiting for the moment he realizes this.
What a beautiful man. And his personality rocks. I can tell you that I know at least two women who are really into Asian males, my youngest sister and I. Only difference is that she's into Anime and I'm so not. And I don't Salsa dance, I'm a Goth, we typically don't do that. If you wanna know how we do dance, watch South Park. What a lucky German his wife is.
Im malaysian chinese, i/we always have this kind of hate for chinese from China and im not sure why. I do find alot of asian women likes to act like western women. Personally i dont favourite over any types of girl, i dont mind asian or western girls. But i do like European girls more than Americans, i find EU accent sexy~
mate your skin color is not as simple as just a color, it comes with a slew with stereotypes people use to pre-identify you. It should not be a factor when it comes to dating choice but the fact is it is and you'd surprised by how common people stereotype others.
I am an arab girl who lived in Malaysia for 13 years.. I found that chinese girls are over confident about themselves and run after foreign men .. specially rich foreign men .Sometimes i feel that chinese men are pity.. they are handsome and with good personality.
If we are honest most people love Chinese culture and people, the problem is simply stereotypes, in America most people are unhappy so don't worry about Western culture, we aren't getting much right when it comes to love
I'm a British born Chinese man and been in a relationship with my Italian girlfriend for over 11 years now. We have 3 children together...very proud of my family.
@Rajesh Vengadesan I don’t agree white men can do better than Asian men. That is my point. Both Asian and white men can do just as well. It is mentality like yours that gives the ongoing negative stereotypes.
It is true that Asian men struggle a little more to pick up girls (for various reasons), but they are willing to work hard. And the man who has to work hard to find his wife will ultimately cherish her more. That itself is quite attractive. Pair that persistence with a good sense of humour and men will be almost unstoppable! However, persistence and a good sense of humour don't always go hand in hand because they are almost the antithesis of each other. A good sense of humour comes when a man doesn't take himself too seriously, but a persistent man is by definition somebody who takes everything too seriously! Lol. There is a delicate balance between the two I suppose. Find that balance and Asian men will have no problem with any women.
I go to a private school and we have some foreign exchange students. A lot of the guys are very sweet.☺ The girls are very sweet too. A lot of them are from China. They are so smart. I love being around them. I talk a lot to them and they listen tentatively.
Why are asian men statistically the least desirable to date? They’re absolutely gorgeous! Those cheekbones, skintone, and don’t get me started on those EYES! 😍😍😍
Because 99,99999999% of NON Asian women don't see what you see, and think like what you think !!! I'm Asian man, and i'm not desperate for non Asian women.. please, we don't need your validation
I'm glad you encouraged Asian men to approach us. I honestly don't care what race I date, but East Asian men won't talk to me. That's frustrating because I live in Southeast Asia, lol.
The irony of fate would be much bigger and stronger if he had met a Dutch woman in China lol.But anyway he deserves the best, it does not matter the nationality of the wife of his dreams.
I’m white and I feel like I’m only attracted to asian men. I spent my childhood in Hawaii where the asian population was very high and maybe that has something to do with that ?? I’m not sure, I’m just really drawn to their body type, dark hair, General fashion sense, that kinda thing. But I feel like I only see asian men with other asian woman so I feel like I’ll never find anyone :,D
Around where I live, I see more WMAF couples than even AMAF couples... But there are a few AMWF couples here too. So, it totally depends on where you live, that people will date outside of their race.
Trust me, Asian men have the same reservation about white women as well. What both of them don't realize is they're both attracted to each other, but society has conditioned them to stay away from each other. Sad.
@@MrMrsJra strong white fetishers like you might be think that way, in reality 99,99999% white women don't find slanted men attractive. I've never met a wmaf in the real life instead of social media. I don't understand people who wrote and claimed themselves as a white woman in this comment section saying that they like Asian men, in reality they Will gladly avoid Asian men without a doubt. Have some self eestem , please
Its normal, the Chinesemenattraction just never happened on most white girls:) However,In your speech, still highly believed marry a white girl as a honour thing. Its just human perferences, like many beautiful white girls fall in to african dudes even they just pass by. It is always good for Chinese people to listen encouragement speeches, but in the reality human still pick up what they attract with. Just like in your speech, the'' white western girls'', why don't you change to" black/latin/asian western girls''. Western/European standard of beauty don't include Chinesemen. And for you, the perferance and beauty standards are white race... I am Chinese man myself, who grown up in Switzerland/Germany for many years since I was small. I had the same feeling as you since the first week I came there. Not all the Chinesemen are in your 3 lists types either have to be a dancer or something cool which are the only way suppose to get white girls. Chemical engineers etc,. in other races still easy to get dutch girls anyway. We don't need to try too hard!! Plus: its not you
Interesting talk but I knew from the title that he was going to talk about white women. The west has women from diverse backgrounds. He should have just entitled White women and Eastern men.
It is very interesting and sad- to sit and listen to him worship at the alter of 'white' and 'white people/culture' as though that's the way to true happiness etc. That's the dream or the goal out of life that by and large, all Asian men must aspire. That there is no beauty (or beautiful women) in his own culture. Date who you want but when you give a whole speech over your fetish that's just kinda weird.
The whole talk was pretty cringy but the ending kinda saved it. Also he came across as a white fever boy. (I probably should not label him as everyone have the right to have a preference) I'd date anyone as long as they are somewhat hot and we get along.
There are attractive and unattractive people in every race and nationality. It ultimately all boils down to the looks and personality of a person. As an Asian-American guy myself, I do find myself worrying (a bit) about all this AMWF stuff. This promotes that "yellow fever" mentality, and I do not want to have some white girl crushing on me simply because I'm an "Asian" guy. How's that any different than those WMAF couples that are only together because of "yellow fever" (from one of the partners or from both)? Those kinds of relationships never last and are pretty bad while they do last.
