What do narcissists do when they lose control of you? 

I just wish they'd done this from day one. 😳 They've been intent on destroying me, won't leave me alone. I feel dead.

@@fingerscrossed2453 Cut them out of your life completely, even if you have to wash dishes in Woolworths!!!

@@dennischallinor8497 I can't. They have my home. I'm trapped

@@fingerscrossed2453 I'm a Canuk so I don't know what kind of a social safety net your enjoying but if I were you, and I'm a retired nurse and social worker is hit the "abuse" pages in your phone book they might be able to connect you with a lawyer that deals in these kinds of cases. Good luck, if your old play it to the hilt, you earned the right!!! 🤔🤭🤑🤣

@@dennischallinor8497 is canuk Canada? I'm in the UK, so commonwealth law / privy council might apply. Whilst depressed (not sectioned) my aunts name was added to property deeds. I'm now trapped as joint tenants with her. I don't have any familial support. Everyone says she was good for "taking care" of me. She's been verbally abuse for the past decade and hit me last year. I feel disgusted with myself. I could have just refused or asked her to leave but she said it was best. It was only ever best for her. I never wanted to buy anything. I don't know what is going or how I've gotten here. My friends say it's financial abuse but I don't know how to go about proving it or undoing the damage. I'd appreciate any help/advice/guidance you can offer 👍

100%

My grandmother tried to force me to become her scapegoat. She wanted to be seen as the person taking care of the disabled grandchild after his disabled father died. It got so controlling I never could leave the house because she wanted to be seen with me and say I wasn’t doing anything and couldn’t without her. “You can’t bike to the store others will think I’m awful! No you wait here in the house and we go when I want.” When I went anyway the punishment was accusing me of badmouthing family and saying I was telling her “I’m taking your car and leaving”. My godfather was suppose to help me if dad died. Now he never talks to me and blocked me because “you were going to steal from your grandmother. Taking advantage of her grief”. So I moved out of her house to make it clear I wanted nothing to do with her stuff: and instead that made everyone even more mad. Apparently I was suppose to stay in her house getting accused of wanting to rob my grandmother. She was “constantly scared he’s going to leave mee with nothing and steal”, crying on the phone. But I was suppose to stay near her . “You were suppose to stop trying to steal her stuff and just be there so we could work our jobs and you just abanonded her?!” It got so bad that I had yo block her and go NC. She kept calling me during meeting times at work that I asked her to not cal me during “becuase you are going to get me fired”. The second she heared she may get me fired she hammered that action and kept asking on the weekend “so have you gotten fired yet?” My own grandmother tried to get me fired from the first job I ever got after school… that was a 6 figure job freeing me from poverty. My own grandmother wanted to destroy my ability to finally support myself long after she would be gone, remove 6 figures a year , in exchange for her getting food deliveries for me for free (and not paying 2-5 dollars for delivery!) and 4 phone calls a day to ask me the same questions daily to ensure I wasn’t going to leave her. It broke my heart

@@MrMasterDebate Glad you made your way out!

​@AAron. Congratulations on doing so well considering all of the abuse you endured Well done & best wishes

💛💛💛💛

Hear hear❤ She has saved me for sure.😊

@@stupensardi2783 She is very thorough, honest and impactful. Amongst so many other things.

Yes!!

I can't agree more. Imagine if this information was known to general public when people like Hitler was born...

🙌

Yes! They will also try and gain your sympathy with a sob story, or over a situation they created.

Or they twist it around to make it look you're the one with a problem.

AGAIN, this is the most important thing you can remember. But remember when they were young kids and the parents still had control over them? I often wonder if the parents spoiled them or spanked them. A narcissist will not accept "NO".....they can't even spell NO! I'm serious.

@@jodizellmer994 OMG! YES, it's exactly what she does to get people to feel sorry for her!

I went thru that when I told him off after a weekend of the worst sex I ever had.

Facts, he came with love bombing, I ignored him, then he started to insulting me, I ignored him, his last resource, pity, "poor me, Imma die bla bla", narcissist people it's beyond evil.

I WOULD NEVER ENGAGE THE NARCS CIRCLE OF FLYING MONKIES.. ANY 1 WILLING 2 PLAY WITH A SIK NUT LIKE HIM WAS 2 B AVOIDED. I WENT 100% NO CONTACT WITH THEM..I WAS HIS EARLIER VICTIM & OVER THE YEARS OF CRUELTY I DEVELOPED POSTTRAUMA & MY DEPRESSION DEEPENED BADLY..I WAS TOTALLY BROKEN BY HIS CRUELTY.. 2 YOUNG & NAIVE-HE GOT IN ON MY LIFE AND HE PLAYED WITH MY WHOLE LIFE..I WAS INCREDIBLY PUZZLED AS I HAD NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THIS NUTTY NARC IN ALL MY LIFE - I WENT IN2 SHOCK..I WAS A VULNERABLE ISOLATED YOUNG LADY..I HAD NO HOME & NO FAMILY- A STRAY VICTIM JUST WAITING 2 HAPPEN SADLY...HIS FLYING MONKIES TRIED 2 ENGAGE ME A FEW TIMES.. HE TRIED 2 GET ME AROUND THEM...HE WAS RENTING A ROOM FROM THEM..I KNEW HE WAS SETTING ME UP..A YR LATER WHAT HAPPENED?? ONE NIGHT HE PULLED IN A TRAILER AND MOVED OUT AT 4AM B 4 HIS ROOMIE GOT HOME FROM NIGHTSHIFT..WHY? BECUZ THEY FINALLY BEGAN 2 C A PROBLEM WITH HIS ACT..THEY REALIZED THER WAS A REASON I WOULDNT COME AROUND..AFTER HE MOVED OUT WITH THEM HE WANTED 2 DISMISS THEM..HE WAS SAYING ALL KINDS OF BAD STUFF ABOUT THEM..THEY WHO WERE NOT SO LONG AGO HIS BEST BROMANCES WHO WOULD DO ANYTHING 4 HIM HE CLAIMED 🤔ONCE U R ON 2 THE NARC THEY DROP U LIKE THEY NEVER KNEW U

@@lamusa2013 They are like ravening wolves, seeking only whom they might devour. But they also can come in female form like my ex-wife.

Or she for sure

​@@kujo91km Or he and she.

Lol get that foo, gurl! Glad you are equipped for his tactics and ready to scrap- good luck to you!

You go girl! You are amazing and keep going!

Zen Texan... Don't finish until you give him, with the help of good legal counsel, a THOROUGH ballectomy! Good luck and Godspeed!

Go girl 💪

Looks like he’ll be needing some knee pads and a helmet 😊

YUP

😂

haha, same! around 15 years ago now

My daughters it's great don't look back do u I do my mother to evil as hell she 500pounds in bed

Haha can relate. I feel much better away from her 🤷‍♀️

Yall pray i can leave too im tired of this abuse

I know those smear campaigns all too well.

@@MikinessAnalog Oh yes... They go all out...but don't acknowledge any of it was the path I chose. They're empty vessels...and jealous of ANYONE who ignores their victim mentality.

Staff narcissists at old church use the terms "paranoid, imaginings, and creates drama" or that the target is "having personal issues they need to address" to discredit people. Their playbook includes character assassination by the flying monkey fans(enablers) along with driving the victims out so no one is present or can refute all the lies.And those in charge pulling the strings get their flying monkeys to do all the dirty work harassing the target so that they (Narcs) have plausible deniability =no dirt on their hands. Been done to far too many people over the years and will continue until monkeys say no more and/or Narcissists are exposed amd seen for what they Really are. Be aware and prepared to go through much grief before you come out on the other side of the Narcissists attacks. Watch Dr Ramani's videos and find a therapist learned in Narc abuse/recovery. God Bless to all survivors here.

I do not care anymore.😊

@@truffaut650truffaut6 I GAVE him everyone who believed him... "Thank you for revealing them all to me, g'bye & good luck y'all !" 👋

That was powerful, along with there cannot be two realities in this relationship. All they care about is to get their way and not change.

This is so true! I had a whole year of quietly listening to podcasts, watching videos and reading books on abusive and narcissistic relationships and started applying what I was learning in order to grow and change my mindset. It took me a whole year and the abuse got worse as I got stronger, but I was able to leave and have not once been tempted to get back together or felt sad about the end of my marriage.

yes true

Naw. Mine just got more covert and ruins everything

@@octoberdawn1087 I know what you mean. I've met those narcissists who just don't care how low they will sink, and how insidious their tricks can be. The only thing they want is to win - to get what they want.

What are you?

I get you... their reality is miles away from your reality, meaning they are good with treating you wrong yet they are the victim.😅

@@lesleyjohnsonn6846 aw thanks :) and even in my case, my entire family's reality that he created regarding me. They all see what my dad sees. its been that way for decades.

It was not you my man.

Been there. No matter what you did that doesn't serve her. Although it might be good for you as a person. She will leave.

Makes so much sense!!!!

Were all sick. But some of us get help. I Lost 20 years to a violent narcissist. I just want to do my job and have a happy family.

@@petekdemircioglu I relate to your situation. I hope you find some peace.

Try to distance yourself as much as you can. Get others to do the care. I foolishly took my parents in. I never dreamt they'd live into their 90s. Mom said, "Well, now I know why I had you. So you could take care of us." They loved my hubby and felt sorry for him being stuck with me. Their passing 3 mos apart 6 years ago set me free. That sounds terrible, but it's how I feel.

I don't see as worst, you have to understand they have a forever sick mind and you have to treat as such, putting them into the care of a place for seniors if they can't be alone anymore, not listen to any of their complaints cuz they'll be all powered up to make you feel guilty. We would never feel guilty to hospitalize someone completely nuts, why would you feel guilty for distance yourself from someone mad and dangerous?

So true! And one of the most painful experiences of life. If not the most painful one.

I stepped away from my parents. I've been through too much abuse and trauma in my life. They were kinder to my siblings so it's over to them. I have stepped away from a lot of narcisstic people. It's not easy but it's peaceful and I fill my days with peaceful treats.

Ps this is brilliant advice.

Not room for more than one reality -- that's a good litmus test.

@@TheMilwaukeeProtocol exactly! That's what made me identify my narcissistic abuse. It's even harder when you are used to this behaviour since childhood. Years of trauma...

Yes! I’m making quiet slow but best decisions to be stable and independent so I don’t ever have to come back. They watch me like a security camera😂

​@Dynah I used to actually feel like his eyes were burning holes through my back each time he raged It's so great to be away & free from all that toxicity

Click! Yeah, for all my guilt over treating my brother terribly as kids, I abandoned the narcissist frame of mind taught by our parents thanks to some amazing people that showed me the real world in my tweens. As far as I can tell, my brother did not. It may be only toward me, or maybe our hometown, either of which is fair; but I fear he went full on NPD, whereas my mother might better qualify as BPD overall, just heavily narcissistic toward her kids. My brother lives in his own reality and I've said before today that that's okay, that he lives there so his feelings are valid, whether true to the rest of the world or not. Still, Dr Ramani's one statement really drives it home. There's a chance he's not, and I'd really like to break the barriers we each hold up toward the other, if for not better reason than to finally settle our minds.

Great way of saying it … in the service of their ego …

Yeah I truly believe this.

I'm going through this now and I'm a man so what did you do?

They withhold sex on purpose. It's another way of "power and control" in their sick, little brains. I also experienced this with a covert narcissist I dated shortly. We were at the beginning of the relationship and he'd withhold it from me. HUGE RED FLAG! You need to run away!

There was nothing wrong with you. He used intimacy or lack of it, to control you.

Very odd behaviour from a man

Same here almost the exact carbon copy it’s eating me up I feel like I’m getting an ulcer I can’t eat or sleep in a mess. Praying you all get better and healed as quickly as can be ❤

And many other stuff. These people can't handle when you or someone else is done with them,and they will try to make you feel bad for your honesty,things that they don't have.. twisting everything what y say,do or don't do.. they love that feeling when they can dominate you. Sad individuals.

Facts 🔥

of course they Don't work.

@@lifejourney3086 I’m curious if they honestly believe they can yell and scream and have it work to solve their big problems.

@@MrMasterDebate no it doesn't.

Amen

@@MrMasterDebate my mom was actually a very damaged rager bc her alcoholic narcissistic father destroyed her mind by threatening to kill her and her other siblings and they would hide in the forest all night😢

Fantastic; enjoy and be safe. 🤗

You can start living baby.

This in only two months? That's major steps already😃🙏👍👍👍 Respect! So happy you broke free! Watch yourself out there in 🦘 land.😂 Have the time of your life!

Good for you! I divorced a narcissist after 17 years of marriage as well. He almost broke me, but I survived. It was a nightmare, though. He 'punished' me by parental alienation of our 3 children. To this day, many years later, they continue to be estranged. I have persistent grief from the loss. The best thing that you can do is live a fulfilling life. You go, girl! ❤

Keep going 💚 It’s going to be bloody hard but you deserve all of the happiness that you can give yourself, starting with getting to know yourself all over again. Love from a fellow Aussie xxx Good luck x

❤❤❤❤

All this happened to me once I filed for divorce. I am a survivor and my friends all say how happy I am now. It took years, but it will eventually get better and the narc has moved on to someone else

Just reading and remembering all those cruel things, ugh. I will add the constant threat of disinheritance. That seems to be the aging Narc parent go-to threat. Heard it my whole life. Just a plain jackass and getting worse as the years go by.

@@richardstevens7547 Yep, my inheritance has been taken from me in just a sentence.....My mom before she just passed was holding everything together for me....Was my mistake to trust it all. I don't truly care about any inheritance at this point...I just want the money back that I gave as an investment for a home build. My 84 yr old stepdad is holding that away from me and says he may never pay that back. Just so upsetting always.

That's a very brave thing to do. Best wishes to you!

My situation was the same. I realized those people (my immediate family) never KNEW who I was as a person; they just saw me as they saw themselves. Self preservation is important and if I cut ties with them, it was because they handed me the scissors. Over and over again until I finally did it. Stay strong. While it makes me sad that my family was so messed up, I havent regretted my decision. Peace is just too valuable to me in life and it sounds like neither of us was going to get it if we continued on with our families. God bless you.

……and don’t ever 1) think that maybe they realized their mistake, 2) that they’ve changed and 3) be tempted to go back. They don’t ever change.

Psychopaths want a willing slave and obedient servant to exploit and order round. Send an invoice for your services and watch the mob meltdown and rage at the injustice of not being treated like royalty or landed gentry.

real healing Slavery is honest. Bondage that you are not awhere of is far worse because you don't know what you're up against. Slaves know they can develop a plan to run away. Narcissism attempts to keep your true situation a secret so it takes years and years of frog boiling before you see what has happened to you.

Independence doesn't exist to those sick twisted individuals.

Painful..and also you are lucky you got away so YOUNG. my mother has been awful. I'm just now finally walking away over 40

Wow, glad you made it

Yes

Similar to enraged monkeys.....😁🙉🐒

So true, my brother is on his second lawsuit against me to force me to do something I already agreed to in writing. They become unhinged.

100%. My narc sister sent me a hateful text to say I died a fire with my dead husband after almost 4 years of no contact.

My boyfriend acts really weird when I treat him with nothing but kindness. He knows my kindness is fake because of all the things he has done to me. He responds to my kindness by either getting more irritated, paranoid, or upset. OR he starts to feel shameful and he will ask me, "Are you okay?" And I respond, "Yeah why do you ask?" And he says, "Oh I've just been an asshole to you lately." It's like a trick question. Because when he asks me if I'm okay, it's not because he cares about my feelings and is being empathetic. He's setting me up. If I say something IS wrong, he gets defensive and upset and asks me what he did wrong. If I say NOTHING is wrong, he admits blame for being a jerk. He feels shame when I treat him how he doesn't treat me... He acts like my kindness is some kind of a fake front. Which it is cause I'm kind of sick of him. But it's somehow foreign to him. Like deep down inside he believes he doesn't deserve it. So it invokes shame in him for what he's done to me. Yet everytime I successfully communicate my issues with us to him, he twists my words and thinks it's an attack to him even if i say it calmly and in a healthy way. Plus, his antic to try and get a rise and reaction out of me get worse when I am kind to him. It's like he wants me to treat him how he treats me so he can justify his behaviors. He starts doing things he knows annoys me and that I've clearly communicated annoys me, and then keeps asking, "are you okay?" Multple times a day... it's all a set up to get an emotional outburst from me one way or another. Sometimes if I say yes, he will drop it cause he's happy I'm not upset at him. This builds up resentment in me because I know I can't communicate my feelings and I end up blowing up eventually. They use reactive abuse to keep control of you. I have an example. Last night I was texting my aunt wishing her happy birthday and Easter. (He's paranoid about me talking to my family cause of his fear i'll leave him) My boyfriend was looking over my shoulder the entire time. I told him that and he lied and said he wasn't. Then he started acting childish and looked in the opposite direction of the room. I start smiling out-of pure frustration but also because I was able to reveal his true side and my smile was his hint that I'm done with that behavior and I'm about to level up with or without him. He asked me why I was smiling and then he asked me, "what did you do?" I was smiling out of frustration cause he was looking over my shoulder, lied to my face, and kept staring at me weirdly. All I did was talk to my aunt! He's paranoid I will up and leave him and he knows I have good reason to. Later on he wiped food on my chin with one finger, laughed about it, (Oh did I get food on you?) and didn't apologies afterword. When I start getting angry at him, he is all of a sudden either a victim or he starts acting nice. Like he finally got what he wanted. Sorry for my long Ted talk. I need to vent until I can get ahold of a therapist. He hates when I work on myself cause he knows I won't need him anymore and can't control me. If I am truly happy and love myself, he loses all power.

Exactly! They try so hard to keep their lies and deception from being exposed, that eventually they unintentionally expose themselves.

I'm in that place now and I'm scared. Don't know how to act, he is drama queen and will making scenes and trouble in front of children, my mother, tretening me... I'm scared!

@@TrishaK369 get out it’s suck but just up and leave go to family shelter something….it won’t get better if you stay but you will get better if you go

​@@TrishaK369 I left with 2 kids at the age of 52, where I hadn't worked in 20 years. I made it and you can too. If you live in a one party recording state, get a cheap voice recorder and tape it to your calf or another inconspicuous place. Build your evidence against him. Good luck!

I've seen this in real time and you are one hundred percent correct. Worst case scenario was my first marriage. I was absolutely walking on eggshells those miserable couple of years.

Then you've clearly never met a psychopath.

My mom did this to my dad and then did the same to me. Luckily I wound up with my Grandparents who where sane people. Best thing that ever happened to me.

A few years back I dumped the narc. Then I found out he physically abused his last girlfriend, after being with her only a few days. I will stand up for her, while the crazy monkeys justify his behavior. Sometimes I hate this world,

And anything that does come out of their mouth to you, is PHONY!!!!!

​@@RapturereadyforJesus I found out my ex had been married before and wife #1 divorced him on the grounds of abuse.

Those r known as flying monkeys of narcissist

Yes! Especially if they know that their lies will eventually get back to you, so they figure if you heard or see it directly from the person they are trying to turn you against, you would most likely believe it. WRONG!!!!!

If they get to control my adult children they can have them I will not tolerate disrespect from anyone not even my child

i experienced that too

Good for you!

Good for you!

I'm very proud of you!❤

@@angelawoodlief7242thank you! Much appreciated!

Slow is fine! Unrelated example: my baby daughter seems to be hitting all of her milestones a bit slowly, but I don't mind as long as she is a kind person. I'm speaking as a school teacher. So I think you're doing great. You seem to have good self-awareness, which is the number 1 game changer. And actually two years is fast. It took me about two years to understand what was going on when I changed relationships.

​@@TheMilwaukeeProtocol please have your daughter evaluated by the Regional Center ASAP Slow milestone markers are a red 🚩. Please, early intervention is best practice. If you are a public school teacher, call the Director of Special Education and she/he can direct you

Hugs and prayers. I'm so happy I left mine. So happy not to walk on eggshells and be cussed.

Same to me...n sits on my dreams n growth

Why won't you call the police?

@@adeleinetheartist8267 Knowing his severe mental illness, I thought that would escalate his behavior and he would take it to a platform where he has full anonymity. And BTW, he had been watched by the police for harassing another person.

@@v9b23j Okay, I get it.

​@@adeleinetheartist8267because sometimes they are the police

Yep

The math doesn’t add up

Saad

​@@AlAhmed94 Right 🤔🤔

I wish things would change for you guys

Controlling people gravitate towards positions of power in many settings, including churches. They are just humans. Jesus would not judge you or try to control you. Recognize and free yourself from controlling people.

I had to leave a church recently. I love the people, but I will not accept abuse anymore. I am thankful Jesus saved you from suicide!♥️

@Fallacy As Praxis Sorry that happened. You seem like such a kind and genuine individual. I’ve had a similar experience, and to finally realize that my love and sincerity had been poured into people who didn’t have my best interests at heart devastated me. Sad to say, my default mode tends to be “cynical” these days. Self-protection, I guess.🤷🏽‍♀

I'm a recovering Christian too. I've stopped all associations with those devils. I remain true to God Himself, worship and pray from the safety and comfort of my heart and home.

I have read this, l see it.

Hugs, I had a very damaged m bc she was so horrifically abused by her violent alcoholic father. She never drank and ate lots of valium and stayed depressed and made SUICIDE attempts. Never came to see me at school in anything I was a real star in. But she never wanted me to fail. That is so sad. She wanted me to work and own a nice home and I did. And she was very kind to my son in her old age.

Not to mention intentionally setting you up to fail so you have no choice but to go back to them. These people are disgusting and deserve nothing but misery.....

This is true and disgusting. Sometimes they want us to fail so they can come in and "rescue"... and then hold it over us that we OWE them! Took me so long to see the reality.

Or when it’s your Father

Mmmhmm

That's a really great comparison!

Yep you're just a transaction and ARM CANDY and maid mama🤣🤣🤣🤣

That's why men on red pill section always talking that most everyone living like npc when perhaps they're ego is too much and ofc a narcissistic person.

My thoughts exactly! They have a very twisted form of main character syndrome.

It ends when we go no contact and move on. The second part is equally important as the first. Move on.

it is grief like no other

Definitely needs to be a class!!

Same here.

Agreed and what a great idea! If we only would have known then what we know now...

I would then turn the table and organize a decent funny and cheap event for all of YOUR family inviting the couple to have the son-in-law feel LOVED instead of need of showing status so he can get to know your daughter's family without his parents and nerd company. Would that be an idea? Any kind of picnic or bottle party will do. 😉

Having been in your daughter's position myself, the only advice I can give is to not try to open her eyes for her! Make sure she knows you love her and are there for her, no matter what. If you try to help her see the truth, it will only push her deeper into his game. As hard as it may be, don't talk about him in a disparaging way, at all. Corrina also gave a GREAT suggestion. This would make it very clear that you do want to be involved, but simply are limited in things that cost money. Douchebag may be able to manipulate your daughter, but you have control of your actions, and your actions will speak louder than his tactics.

@@Corinna_Schuett_GER Fantastic idea!!

​@@Corinna_Schuett_GER I LIKE THAT!🎉😂❤

Simply love her, be supportive and keep the communication open. In time hopefully she finds her way.

Stay strong and never get sucked back in. It’s called “love bombing” and if you step one toe back into the relationship the bad stuff will start all over again

My son is dating a narc. When it was time to sign papers on the sale of his property last week she took drugs the night before. He called to have me come get her. She looked like death. I told my son today I am done with both of them.

mortuary science is super cool and interesting and i bet you will be amazing at it if thats what you want to do. my parents acted like that when i said i wanted to go into forensic psychology :/ even though i love it

Nearly 20 years as a funeral director/embalmer...I have had all the negative comments but I love my vocation. My goal is to make each family feel 'ok' and to serve with respect. Ignore anyone who comments on it being creepy! Good luck with mortuary school and I hope for you a lifelong career knowing you make a difference each day!

Love this!

I was constantly told I was doing everything wrong by the entire pack of narcs and flying monkies. They honestly believe it’s you who is doing evrhtnjgn wrong. And if only you read their mind and behaved in just the right way everyone would get along

Yes

After my dad died of cancer my grandmother narc thought she was going to inherit all of her former scapegoats stuff. She kept him poor by kicking him out of the family company to ensure she had someone always around her… her disabled single father son with disabled kids. She paid his rent to keep a threat alive. In the most shocking demand I’ve ever seen: she thought she was suppose to inherit all her sons stuff after he died… to (1) prevent me from having it so she could make me the scapegoat and (2) finally get to “throw away all that junk daddy has collected over the years”, all of which she was furious wasn’t thrown away when she constantly made comments about it over the years. When I told her “no”, she thought it was a compromise to “let her into daddy’s bank box and give her the money he had left”. “I PAID DADDYS RENT THAT MONEY BELONGS TO ME I KEPT HIM HOUSED ITS MY MONEY”. He had almost nothing. We were poor. But the thought of her new scapegoat having even 1,000 was too much. Dad specially told me this was all mine to inherit. Newsflash: the person that wasn’t abusing him was viewed better. When her endless tantrums didn’t work… she went to my bank. “My son die. Oh I’m so sad my son die. You know him right ? Tommy? OH MY SON DIED HE DEAD IM SO ALONE. He had an account and a box. He promised it to me. I need it. I’m poor you don’t understand I’m poor he promised it to me to take care of me”. When the bank worker told her that she wasn’t listed on anything he may or may not have, she just kept screaming how her millionaire ass was “poor”. “Ok but give me his box at least. Can you do that”. When she was again told she didn’t have the authority to even confirm if he has a box, and grandma had no box or box access through the bank, she started scream crying. Naturally after hearing about this I was terrified so I changed my locks at my house. I was blamed for how embarrassing it was and how bad she looked at the bank though!

I put my narcissist mother in "time out" for threatening the same thing. No contact for at least one week. I know I won't change her, but she knows I'm not putting up with her crap anymore.

​​@@sdub7045 Can't you call the fucking cops? All narcissists should be arrested and sent to prison. Narcissists deserve punishment, and their crimes are bullying, lying and manipulation.

They LOVE TO SMEAR US, MINE ACTUALLY BEGGED ME TO STAY, then went around telling people I was hard to get rid of. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

@@KoolT 🤣🤣🤣 indeed they are difficult

@@KoolT 🤣🤣🤣 indeed they are difficult

Most people will figure out who's the crazy one.

Marie Borchardt Good for you for moving on, even during a smear campaign, you are strong. And now, the important part. You are free of them. Good for you! and Good luck!

Family can be crazy! I understand what you are saying. I don’t care for my family either.

Wait until they start calling you swear words. That's when you know you're blazing on the right path

This past year my parent showed up at work unexpectedly walked into an employee door and struck up a conversation with one of my co-workers. I was coming back from a Christmas luncheon with my boss. My co-worker took me aside and told me what happened. Funny thing is I forewarned him don't be surprised if my parent shows up some day. Struck up a conversation with my coworker and told him that I'm being secretive. It's because I have distanced myself from them and the rest of my family this past year.

He calls me hard headed 😂😂😂 like Bruh you cant break me

Yep. They freak the f*ck out. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I had a decent relationship with my godfather before dad was diagnosed with cancer. After? Grandma narc began screaming at me through my godfather that I wasn’t doing enough for her because (“Your dad is sick and he’s not feeling calling her and she doesn’t feel like you love her anymore. You need to call more”). They tried to use “I’m really scared your grandmother is going to pass away after your dad dies” to justify “you need to force your dad to move into her house”. Me: “dad doesn’t want to move into her house. She only makes the 5 min drive here on the weekend one time anyway. I’m doing all his care. It makes more sense for him to be here”. Godfather: it’s what’s best for the family. I can’t keep having her call me upset at work like this. He never picks up her calls anymore. Me: Jacob…. My dad is having poison pumped into his body hoping the cancer dies quicker than him. He sleeps all the time. Of course he can’t pick up When that didn’t work? Literally THE NEXT DAY? She came over to house house. Left her car in the middle of the road instead of parking to get max attention. Climbed the two steps required to get into our house to drop off food. AND INTENTIONALLY FLUNG HERSELF OFF THE STAIRS GOING DOWN… and hit her head so she could cry “HE NEEDS TO MOVE IN WITH ME I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE”. Of course dads decision to not move in with her despite that destroyed my relationship with my uncle for not “forcing” him to move in with her. I can’t even tell the truth: she intentionally fell off the stairs. I saw it happen.

And the Illuminati scumbags deserve it not smear campaign if it’s true mk ultra human trafficking jealous child trafficking rapists lied about everything evil demon Christianity frauds

My mom was trying to convince my x, when we were married, to control me.

Hugs and prayers. Set those boundaries. 💛

I am experiencing this now it’s really hard he has been gaslighting me it’s exhausting My mother is also a Narc and she has belittled me for 47 n then my ex husband also abused me now they are gaslighting me do you have any advice?😭💔

@@erikawithee it is exhausting, and I definitely hate it for you I don't really like my advice or anyone else's in this matter. I moved away, bought an RV because it is movable, in case the stalking continued, got dogs for protection, made my neighbors aware in a gated community, dropped all contact with nearly everyone I knew, including family...then it still took 2 years of living in the woods for them to lose interest and 4 years to heal after that. It's incredibly difficult. When my dad died I didn't go to the funeral, and I loved him very much. It's just a bad situation. I hope the laws start addressing coercive control. It's like mind rape.

yup....i caught on early..went 100% no contact with any 1 willing 2 ENGAGE with the narc...course later went 100% no contact with the NARC as well..its important 2 let the stupid NARC b the only one convincing ppl u r the problem...in time they either catch on to the narc & or they become his newest victims

Took the words right out of my mouth.

The boy who cried wolf. It feels good when people can see their game and not buy into it

Jesus Christ, what did you do to them?

I'm still here

I can really relate to that. Especially my mom is always looking for something she can scoff over, and trying her best all the time to diminish me and my efforts. She definitely doesn't want to lose control, so she'll never let me get a chance to be independent of her.

💯feel your pain💔

I happen to be one of those people who believes parents should go see their kids once in awhile, and not just sit around waiting for them in their adult life to knock on their door. My mother is giving me the silent treatment after telling her how fake she is about that. I could care less what her husband does. I have lost any desire to want to go see her now, and the more I think about it, the more I realize I'm better off not to.

I am so sorry you experienced this from your mother. While I certainly understand the worry and stress that comes with a child learning to drive (and being a new driver), stifling your child for your own comfort is pathological. We are supposed to raise well adjusted humans, and the goal, if we do it right- is that they go off and leave us. They have their own lives. If you do it right, they visit often (in person or via calls) and they tell you about their lives and what's going on. If you fail, they stay at home and never move on and are entirely reliant on you, no matter how old they get. Letting go of our children and letting them stretch their wings, then fly away, is so very scary. But it is a necessary part of the process. I hope you are doing well and are not letting her hold you back.

@@deeh5126 believe it or not? This was my grandmother. Which feels like it’s worse…/ because I always thought she wanted to protect me and cared about me . But I really appreciate your kind words. I moved in to help nana and it turned into “give me everything you own and take care of me like your dad did”. My mother lost custody with how narcissistic she was when we were very young

@@deeh5126 but I am doing so much better. I finally went no contact. I am doing well in my job. I even went from zero in the bank living on disability, to having enough stored to pay off my student debt, and I’m saving for a house downpayment :)

@@MrMasterDebate I am so glad to hear that you are doing well! That is the best thing to hear from a survivor!

Just threaten to call the cops on him, and the cops will arrest your narcissist, then your narcissist will be in prison.

It's been over a year since I went no contact with a narc relative. This time has also been the best of my life. Internet hugs to you!

@@wickiwo1098 thank you very much. Hugs for you too.

Persona non grata is your status after escaping or abandoning the narcissist. Damned if you stay and villified if you leave.

@@chriscunningham8807 exactly!

Brava! Don’t look back. She will never change. Think of Mother Earth as your true mom now. Time to heal and then I hope you thrive and shine!

I worked with someone whose husband voluntarily quit working then wanted alimony and almost all the assets when they split. She had copies of old tax returns showing that he was capable of earning a living. that was the end of his attempts to get alimony and more than 50%.

Yeah, most drugs are poison in the end. Congratulations on detoxing successfully. That quiet, nasty little voice of the narc gets quieter over time if you don't let it influence you. Eventually, it's barely there at all, but sometimes it'll get louder and surprise you. Watch out for that...

As a nurse, i cared for all patients with compassion, and yet i wonder, based on observations of my own narc mother if narcissism is correlated with dementia

This sounds exactly like my experience. I'm trying to heal from the death of my husband and my Narcist try to control me for the last 3 years. I finally went no contact. What a relief!

I have a friend like this. I really like talking to her but she brings up my past. It puts me on edge.

Had this happened to me plus sadly she really lacked empathy to no emotion to so indeed she threw insults at me and put me down to it was so bad I cried sometimes eventually I stopped her behavior towards me she finally left she knew I wasn’t going to allow her to control me anymore never was a friend at all!

@@selinaogorman8380 they never were our real friends. They don’t realize we are much happier without them!

That's not a friend, it's a parasite