What Drives a  

Narcissist people ALWAYS hate good looking and or strong honest sincere people. They will gravitate towards these types and try to take on these good traits for themselves (mirroring) all while attempting to diminish and beat down and hurt and condescend the healthy person. They try to steal and obsorb the good and replace your goodness with pain and chaos. They may win in the short term but in the long term they end up alone and bitter.

They're basically evil people that we need to avoid.

Understanding narcissism forty years ago would have saved me a decade of healing.

Be patient, with yourself, and with God. It WILL happen. You WILL heal and they WILL fall. Blessings to all the warriors out there

The narc I was with for far too long used my empathy, loyalty, strength, knowledge, and my home. Like a vampire he drained every ounce of what I had for his benefit. By standing on my back he bolstered his image and credibility and silenced me. His promise of better things to come in our retirement was a lie, as was everything about him. He was so skilled at being covert, so under the radar that I didn’t catch on until the last 2 years. Then I was angry with myself for not seeing it. Eventually I took that anger and put it on him where it belonged. I moved him out physically while he was away. I went no contact. It wasn’t easy but now, almost 1 year alone, I feel much better. I still don’t understand how someone can be so manipulative and evil while saying “I love you” every day. So I don’t miss him. But at times I miss what I thought we had. It was all fake.

No contact, ignore completely, smile and have fun, don't talk about them, don't look at them...

People don’t understand that these predators go after strong people. When you catch their lies you rip that mask off they will become abusive but also rage and if you grew up in a family that scapegoated you it becomes triggering you freeze, fawn or leave. You can’t fight them it’s like wrestling with a dirty pig you’re get dirty too or you can do is leave. They’re soul draining I truly believe that their spiritually evil.

i recently watched that movie 'The Exorcist', because it has just so many references to narcissism, even one example of the vomit they spew out onto other people and also the prechers stating 'don't talk to the demon, it will just use anything you say against you' along with how the demon transfers over to the priest when he becomes enraged at the end. This is their aim, to transfer their evil energy onto us. Some of these people could really use an exorcism!

I so appreciate that you consider this a Spritual war. Because it is.

It's getting really CRAZY out there now.....they are literally on EVERY STREET CORNER......

You can never destroy a narcissist. Their demon watches out for them and this familiar spirit taunts you. You will need an act of God to achieve this. Having said that the only way is to cut off the so called soul bond that is within you and forbid the demon from coming into your space.

The pain was excruciating....but now I'm glad of it,I'm the happiest I've been in 26 years.

No longer being afraid of them, physically and mentally, for me that has given me power.

Oh yes , I saw the narcissist for who he is, I even saw the devil in his eyes.

I love that you said "the truth and the light are so much greater than the dark".

I serendipitously discovered another potent strategy yesterday in conversation with a neighbor. Suddenly it became clear to me that I was dealing with a bona fide N. All at once she turned on me and began projecting things on me that were subtly vile and clearly untrue. So I said, "That offends me." What a shock to her, my abruptness and lack of expected politeness. (N's depend on people being nice.) She almost lost her stuff right then and there sort of wheezing and gasping for air. I had claimed the victim position in the victim/perp/rescuer drama triangle and you know, N’s believe it’s theirs and theirs alone. It’s where they get lots of power. She sparred with me to wrestle it back with all her might but I just held it. In the end, I could not end the conversation with dignity, she would not release me, and so… as I pressed the red end call button I could still hear her raging in the background. I give myself a high mark for everything, however, I must admit that it's taken me a few hours to clear out the trauma energy.

He's so chaotic and unpredictable that he has become totally predictable in the past week. What a huge breakthrough for ME. He knows I know and he senses that I'm ready to end it permanently. So tonight he showed up drunk with a ring and asked me to marry him. I laughed. 😂🤷🏼‍♀️ He cried himself to sleep because he loves me 😂 and now I'm stuck with him until morning. He doesn't love anything about me except my brand new car, credit cards and outstanding credit score. He wants me to buy US a house. We've been dating for 6 months 🤦🏼‍♀️The empathy train has left the station 💪

"Just be patient, the truth and the light are so much stronger than the accumilation of the datk" ❤ epic!

Detachment!!!! My ex enjoyed gossiping about other people, and in the beginning I used to give my opinion which is usually opposite of his and he would blow up in my face which would cause me to react. As soon as I start to react he would get quiet and record my reaction. Eventually I learned how to detach. And irritated him. He would go on and on and I would watch him and smile. I would nod to show engagement but the look on my face is screaming “you are so full of shit” 😂😂

I agree with you, we are DEFINITELY in a spiritual warfare! I don’t think you could ever be safe around a narcissist.

i just keep having flash backs and realize this was a empty realtionship! This man was always used avoidance and has only come out to throw us bread crumbs

You have to have a awesome strategy with these people. Remember you are the light. And it’s a spiritual war fare. And we’ve already won. There will be no weapon formed against us that will prosper. Come out from among them.

So true. EVERYTHING is a competition.

Yes it’s a spiritual battle friends. Jesus came face to face with Satan and defeated him with scripture. We can and should do the same - not to the narc’s face but speaking it out loud. Remember that our conflict is not with flesh and blood but the spiritual wickedness behind these people. “Greater is He that is in me (Jesus) than he that is in the world” 1 John 4:4 ⚡️✝️🔥 Thanks Paula! ❤️

Great video Paula! Don't give in brothers and sisters! Dig deep, bite the bullet, heal and then move forward and conquer! 🗡️🔥 I too believe this is rooted in the spiritual, the devil comes to steal kill and destroy and he was the original narcissist remember. If you don't believe in the spiritual realm you pretty soon will understand what evil personified looks like. It looks like the person that did and said those things to you...... deliberately. Let that sink in. Yes I never dreamt that there could be such vindictive people as my wife, she nearly killed me with a number of covert manoeuvres. If I can overcome this after a 33 year experience of psychological, emotional, spiritual and physical abuse then so can you. Blessings 🙌

*Narcissistic* *Strong-holds:* 3:34 4:06 *Power* (let them know that you know who they are) 5:58 *Control* (be non-emotional so that the narcissist cannot project onto you) 8:00 *Fuel* (expose the narcissist in front of other people) 9:50 (ignore the narcissist and go no-contact) 12:34 (make an unfavorable comparison with the narcissistic ego image) 15:38 (become non-triggerable and avoid entering the chaotic world of the narcissist) 17:08 (the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth) 19:32 (come to the point of indifference about the narcissist) 23:33 (reject/discard the narcissist before they do it to you - and do not accept the hoover attempts that come from them afterward) 25:39 (be genuinely happy about your life afterward)

Its very true about dark forces and spirituality. In dark times I turned to my church and spoke to the minister privately as I was struggling to understand why this abuse had happened to me. He simply said this is the path you chose and these dark people are put here to teach you, it's how your spirit learns and progresses. Some may find that unbelievable but I also believe it to be true.

Thank you, this experience is drawing me closer to god.. I hate that horrible dark enegy I feel when thinking about the narcissist..I look back and can really see more clearly the farther I get in my healing..

Always good to go for a drive with them....see if they drive close to vehicle in front. If they get road rage etc., often anything Narc will very quickly come out in the car.

You hit the nail on the head with the aging narcissist

Always dress better than them. They feel bad. Be with them just enough so they can't hurt you. Let them contact you. Don't go out of your way for them unless they deserve it.

These are so good. An extra for me is simply (narcissist aside) get on with your life, grow, expand yourself, move on, live your BEST life and don't allow them to even enjoy five minutes of this best life with you! It'll kill them to see how strong and HAPPY you can be without them. Do it for yourself...not them. Also fake it until you make it lol 🥰

Haha so true. I am (or was) the type of person who hands out compliments super freely and any time I would say anything positive about anyone around him (even just public figures that neither one of knew or never would know) I visibly saw him flinch even though he would try to hide it. Just insanely jealous of everyone and everything. A jealous person is someone you want to stay away from. If for no other reason, because they will never be able to be happy for you.

Thank you for this video!! One of the things that these monsters do is procreate with you so that you MUST interact with them. If you are one of those people, like I am, maximize the concept of minimal contact. 1.set firm boundaries and keep them. 2. Communicate solely in writing. 3. No spoken word during parental exchange. 4. When in their presence where a mask, sunglasses and a hat so that you give ZERO fuel. 5. Don’t bother to get out of the car during the custody exchange. 6. Set one location for ALL custody’s exchanges. 7. Your home is sacred. They should not be allowed there. PERIOD. If they show up, CALL THE POLICE! 8. Do *not* make the location of the custody exchange your home. Use a neutral location WITH CAMERAS or a police station. God bless you and God bless us all because these demons are plentiful on the earth right now.

There’s no way I could ever be glad about what happened to me …she tried to kill me in every way possible.. 1 year out and still struggling to put a roof over my head… Good work once again Paula … exactly this a war to stop you from doing Gods purpose that was predestined for your life

The minute you said spiritual warfare. I have a thumbs Up . Keep prayed up , seriously. No Joke . This is REAL. These are Demons. Do not interact with this Helloween . Because these Demons (narcissist) are behind these spells . Pray on this night . Seriously

By far the biggest and best action to take is to move on and find someone else and make sure they know that they have been replaced. No direct contact and allow the truth to come out naturally but replace them and be happy and make sure they know it.

Silver Fox narc survivor….but the battle has only begun..

one minute ago!! hi! you were one of the ones who helped me finally leave him! sending love your way. and glad that God is using you

Brilliant video, Paula. Your understanding of the psychology of the narcissist and your ability to crystalize it into words is phenomenal. Thank you for the light you bring to this community of survivors. ❤

"Your emotions are bullets in their gun"! WOW!

Indifference is a wonderful place to be. Peace is possible when you are detached from the narc. You can become invincible to the narc. Develop a force field of indifference.

Dear Paula, very good points!!! Writing them down in here so that people can read them. Many regards to NY and hoping you are enjoying your time with your son🤗 Motivation/Drivers of a Covert Narcissist 1. POWER 2. CONTROL 3. FUEL How can you shut a Narcissist down? You can do it by these strategies: 1. Show the Narc that you know who he/she is - you are looking behind the mask. 2. Do not be emotionally because emotions are the Narcs fuel for they can project all their negative emotions onto you. 3. Exposing a Narc infront of other people will shut down all of their "airports" at once. 4. Ignore the Narc totally by "No Contact" 5. Compare something to the Narc that is of more value. (The Narc is always in a competition and this would mean that his ego would be going mad and he would go into the bait.) 6. Do not fight back/ Do not let you go triggered by the Narc 7. The truth and nothing but the truth, because the truth will always come out. (The existence of a Narc is built up by lies for his mask is nothing but a lie) 8. Be totally indifferent to the Narc 9. Reject the Narc 10. Be genuinly happy in your life, Live your life by your fullest potential!!! Get out of the dark spirit of the Narc and step into the light (love, peace, truth and freedom). 💖 For you are the light 💖

Excellent instruction. Best I have seen. I have experienced the full range:men and women. I believe I have now encountered the last one and the last type: the cerebral narcissist. In depression, I was referred to a Psychoanalyst with a PhD in Psychological Medicine. He was extremely bright. I annoyed him because I had post grad qualifications and would sometimes disagree with him. He decided to take me down and I was vulnerable. I knew there was something wrong with him but new nothing of narcissism. I started watching videos on You Tube on the subject day and night. Most videos refer to the narcissism of partners so it made it more difficult but finally a professor explained cerebral narcissism and I knew that this was the Psychoanalyst. I severed contact. This man had said I had a persecution complex,had paranoia and was Borderline. In fact I had CPTSD. In your videos you must discuss therapists who are narcissists. Many are and are very dangerous. Your method of instruction and calm put you in a good position to have a wide audience.

My immediate thought on seeing the title was, they will find any excuse to lose their minds. You don't need to do a thing.

Thank you as always Paula. I’ve stayed private on my social media and finally gone no contact for real for two weeks and starting to feel so much better xx

Your going through all of this mentally while they don’t even care, they feel nothing for you. no contact is the only way to be free and have your life back, at first it seems mean and not possible but once your free of anxiety and worry of them controlling you, your life is yours again. They won’t change they will terrorize your life forever don’t walk, run away

I showed his friends what he done to me, he knocked me out, and beat me black and blue. And they weren’t very happy what they saw.

Paula, you really understand on a much deeper level---what a Narcissist really is, how they think and operate!

When a narcissist ages, losing their beauty, health and sometimes wealth, they are left with nothing except bitterness and rage. It is a dismal prison they can not escape - it is literally Hell on Earth for them.

12:31 ( To Get Away From Something That's Darn EVIL )... That sent shivers down my spine... Thank you for Reminding me x

Living in Truth is the only way to truly be alive even if it gets you killed Just like Jesus was crucified by all the jealous lies and still Lives The True King of Life Forever

Great video! I have also found that telling the narcissist to their face when they start to try their predatory manipulative behavior that you love them and forgive them but will not partake in their behavior anymore and walk away or end the communication right then that it enrages the narcissist and causes them to completely remove the mask in that moment exposing their true narcissist self.

So angels are real and walk among us ❤ this is the narcissist’s nightmare . Amazing content

Exactually Paula raise the brows like Oh really! without any emotional reaction to them.

Narc Con. 🙏🏼 thank you for these videos. Having mostly(?) recovered from this abuse, I'm feeling healthier these days. BUT, today I was triggered and fell into the rabbit hole of grief, feeling the loss of life never having set well enough boundaries with my narc people. At 60 years old I'm feeling sad at looking back. I did try to hold it together with these people, ie my deceased mother and husband. Now learning to set boundaries with my grown children. Sometimes I feel so lost, like what have I done😢. I'm just having a moment. But damn it hurts. They broke my heart. So much wasted time. I'm ok being alone, but I do get lonely. Kinda scared of what is out there. Someday I can trust again. These videos help with recovery ❤️‍🩹

My narcissist is now contacting my clients and my realtor . I am taking legal action . He’s lost his marbles . Sadly I am afraid for my life ! And that of my family ,as he has said in the past “ How would you like your whole family wiped out well their villa in the Spanish Virgin Islands! Yes I have reported it to the police .

Thank you. Your videos have helped me immensely. I was a discard but that is because I kept speaking up about his conduct with women and how he was hurting me. His deceptions, his using me financially and sexually. My boundaries got too high and he could never be accountable. It was easier to toss me out that look at himself. He was grandios, emotionally stunted and a gaslighter. I bent and twisted my self to get him to see him. Love me. He can’t. I cried for a month, studied these videos and sought to understand him. It wasn’t me. I tried to change him… that is on me. I pray for the next woman or many women. But me…my life is so much better without him. God is blessing me in ways that would never have happened if I stayed. And I would have if he didn’t release me. You are an Angel. Thank you!!

It's so amazing that sadly almost everything you describe here I've experienced by my own biological mother. She didn't actually raise me but strongly created the illusion to people that somehow she actually did. As uncomfortable as it was, because of my love for her, I refrained from challenging her about her fake motherhood. I secretly resented her for it. But I loved my other siblings whom she did raise so I mostly kept quiet. There are many other fake truths. Too many to list here. One day she took me to the ultimate limit. And just like the Emporeor's fake New Clothes, I had no choice but to admit that in fact, she wasn't even wearing any clothes. There she was standing naked right there in front of me, naked. I could see every molecule of who she really was. I decided that from all I knew she had no true conscious and it was all I could do not to despise her. But I was determined that she would not send my soul to Hell by hating the women who had birthed me into this world. In spite of her, I was still a child of a Living God. After a lot of praying and crying, God led me to the understanding that I was actually dealing with a real live narcissist for a mother. The light bulb suddenly went off in my mind and there was the explanation I'd been searching for since she'd come back into my life! No wonder I'd been so confused! These people are strange enough to confuse anybody! There started the beginning of my research. Your videos among others have helped me understand so much and I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. I will thank the others too. She is primarily overt but she will also switch into a covert mode depending on the situation. I've educated myself thoroughly and I'm now truly convinced that this personality is led by a very dark spirit. Based on many of her behaviors, possibly even demonicly influenced. I want to tell your audience that your strategies here can really work if they are victims. They just have to determine the ones that work best for them. For me, I can use practically all of them. I now live about 30 miles from her where as 4 years ago I lived 5 hrs from her. Living closer, having more contact, and being more mature than in my younger years revealed EVEN MORE dysfunction about her than I even realized after the 37 years of living away. Moving closer was what I thought would be an even closer relationship instead turned out to be painfully revealing and disappointing. Eventually traumatizing. God had always wanted me to see the truths but I convinced myself to overlook them. Eventually I felt obligated to overlook them. Now, I have confronted my own truth AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH about her. I've created my own separate life and my own circle of friends. I no longer want to fit in with her everyday life. I've joined my own church and my life is abundant and beautiful. I feel the chains are broken. I'm free. Though I keep a safe distance from her I try to be there when she is medically ill or needs something special. Otherwise I visit her from time to time in short sessions. Unless there's a family event, about 2 hours does it. It works perfectly. Initially, it was really difficult to overcome the guilt of avoiding her and the ridicule from her flying monkies & friends. She's physically beautiful and outgoing. A fabulous cook.. Therefore, many people easily flock to her. But God kept me on a straight path and kept telling me that I was to obey His will; not hers. Now I'm at peace with everything. Once I started transitioning, it took about 1 year to reach my inner peace. But admittedly it wasn't easy. I look so much like her. People constantly remind me. Thankfully I like her genes she passed on to me. 🤣 But my heart in no way resembles hers. To break free, I just had to keep remembering how I've experienced more superficial love and jealously from her over the years than I care to think about. The parents who raised me taught me real love and unselfish devotion. I know how that kind of love feels. Thats what I was able to give my own son. I'm so thankful. Now that I know who and what she is I know that if there has to be a winner, I'm the real winner. God finally saved me from her dysfunction. I was just another pawn in her scheming egotistical mind. Knowing how she operates also means being constantly ready to respond strategically to any of her big bag of tricks. Ones that I was totally blinded to before. Even in the most peaceful moments they can catch you off guard if you're not vigilant. They're not always directed at me but many times I'm the only one in the room who actually sees them. I just watch and listen and when I've had my fill I simply just leave. Just get out. Now, I'm no longer as resentful for her deceptive nature. Sadly it's just who she is. I don't dwell on and on about her anymore. And I don't feel sorry for her. I simply let God handle her however He sees fit. And yes I can enjoy her company to a degree but because she can no longer control me it's all superficial. And that's OK. I don't expect anything else. That's just how it is. 've forgiven her but I never intend to forget all the terrible things I've learned. Some are not involving me but still shockingly revealing. I do not compete with her but I will graciously, promptly and sternly call her out when she tries to create the illusion that she still has power over me. She knows now that I know her darkness is there. She knows she no longer has no power over me. She's afraid of the light and truth that I bring. She knows that our relationship can never be restored to what it once was because it was never real in the first place. So that is my ultimate power over her. Becaue she realizes my power, it secretly embarrasses her. So she plays victim to her friends and flying monkies. Many of whom I also love and grew up with. Oh well... It amuses me to watch her trying to figure out my motives. How sad that she can never understand that my only motive is to remain at peace with myself and stay out of her chaotic manipulative web of lies and protect my spirit from the very person that birthed me into this world. Again, I just want to tell you thanks and tell your viewers here to learn what you are trying to teach them because this information comes from a higher power. For them to keep praying for guidance, strength and protection. Reasearch narcissism to better understand the spiritual forces that motivate these manipulative individuals. They fiercely compete and hide from their own true identities. Until I gained this knowledge, I was confused & blind. Gaining this knowledge is truly like coming out of the darkness into the light. And just like you said here...The light will always win. Thank you. Sincerely, Deborah

Excellent video Paula! I finally sold my home on family land just so I could get away from my soon to be ex narcissistic husband. I am closing from the sale of my house on Tuesday which is my birthday and what a gift, freedom after 20 years! As we are ending it here it has been a hard game to play to get this far. One of the ways I have been able to get the narcissist to understand why we are getting divorced and keep him on the same Pages me, is by comparing some of the things I've gone through by some of the TV moms on the older sitcoms. And as we're watching TV and packing up the things I would remind him who he's been. I have been doing this for a while now and it seems to really have helped me get out of this torturous Evil dark game. I would say look at Carolyn Ingles from Little House on the Prairie would have Charles started calling her names or physically abusing her etc etc etc, he actually looked ashamed and hated hearing it. All he could say was okay okay I get it I get it he did not want to be reminded of who he actually is! If I can get out of this marriage this is a huge reminder to everyone reading this you can do it. I started reading about narcissistic people and abuse three or four years ago. I thought maybe I was making an excuse because covid hit, and I thank God above that I wasn't making excuses with myself I am finally here! I pray for anyone reading this that they find a way out whether they have to go and live in an apartment or something smaller even if you have to give up material items it's just not worth it, and I pray that you will find your freedom in Jesus Sweet and holy name!

Paula, thank you again for putting this content out there for the awakening of the truth in those who have ears to hear. I've been transformed in this year, having come to know the truth of the relationships I've been engaged in with the "people" I've loved. I'm now so much more healed. I AM happy to be where I am now, having gone to hell and back, and now knowing where my true value lies. The other thing you can do to disempower the narcissist is to live your best life by giving yourself all the love and self care that you once poured at their feet.

LOOKING RADIANT AS EVER AND BEING THE FIRST TO START THE DIVORCE PROCESS IS WHAT I DID!

Expose them. Be loud. Be consistent. And tell everyone they know. Keep doing it. Be relentless. Block them don’t give them access to you. Always expose them all you have to do is tell the truth.

Thank you. I am working on my art. I am still realizing what one of the narcs did and am beginning to ascertain and suspect the the lengths this person has gone to in order to sabotage my life. It's taken me quite awhile to get more self worth and boundaries. But you are so right, they are totally devious and evil. Phew. I am definitely listening to this video several more times❣️🙏🙏😇

From Detroit ... Before I ever started watching videos about narcissism, I had somehow developed the strategy of being flat with Bill, just emotionless. He called it, "business mode." He hated when I was in "business mode." He said, I'd rather you be angry with me, yell at me." So, just on my own, I figured out the way to get to him was a flat demeanor. But I was still very confused about what was happening.. Bill was an alcoholic, and I was at my wits end, trying to understand all the drama -- and the lying. So I was googling around and looked up something like, "constant lying" and that's where I ran into RU-vid videos on the topic; and THAT's when I started to climb up out of the pit that is life with a narcissist. It's been a very long process. I have ADHD so I'm especially sensitive and was really traumatized,

AMEN sister ... It is spiritual... 2 timothy chapter 3 v 1-8 But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last day People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of GOD, having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over gullible women, who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires, always learning but never able to come to a knowledge of the truth Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so also these people oppose the truth. They are men of depraved minds,

The emperor has no clothes. 🤣🤣🤣

That non-emotional stuff really does get them, they have no where to go. I particularly find it useful when they aggressively spit out how they don't like something that you've just said you liked. I simply say, well, we don't have to like and dislike all the same things. Very logical, very true and very unemotional. Again, they've no place to go after that, it stuns them.

Showing no emotion at all, and continuing on with your day, is the best reaction

Clark Gable.... "frankly my dear, I don't give a damn". 😎

Thank you dear Paula for important message in this video. The most powerful sword of the Spirit is the Word of God, which is Jesus🔥🙏Ephesians 6,11-18 Put on the full armour of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armour of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints. Thanks🔥🙏

That Dismissive Narcissist has no will against the Dark Empath

Love the little light in total darkness analogy. How empowering it is. The last narc I was entangled with was aware of and expounded on his darkness. I was starting a process of inner work to balance or integrate my dark and light (kind of like shadow work). I started talking about the light and love and it creeped him out so bad he stopped emphasizing his dark traits. I basically told him how my self reflection showed me my negative aspects and how they affected people in my life and how some people had amends owed from me to them. Not just apologizing but amending situations. He looked terrified and even emptier then usual in his eyes. The prospect of things I disclosed during the process I was doing he had never heard of. I seriously felt his soul was shackled or deprived of God's love...the things I do to heal from my own demons threatened him. Praying, meditating, loving both fiercely and gently, totally foreign to him. I know I have a long way to go to escape my own prisons. Walking away from him is one of the hardest things. I know my attachment is sick and can be fatal to me both body and spirit. God grant us all strength and Grace to recover.

The Truth and the Light are Stronger than the accumulation of darkness. What A POWERFUL Statement!!! Thank You.

Having had long covid, out of work and living on a leaky boat I acted like I was completely broken (I wasn't) the narc agreed to release funds from the sale of a house to both parties. I know I would have survived without those funds but it gave me some security. It was a strategy I had to adopt to feign that I was the individual she portrayed me to be. I didn't care what the monkeys thought of me because I didn't need them anymore. Days in the sun ❤😊

Yes, you learn their Narccraft and then you learn Empathcraft. But first you must healthily removing yourself in no contact, then accept and know yourself. Great video again. Thanks Paula.

God bless you, Paula. You are a good Wolf who helps others 🙏💝 I try to keep up with things that nurture my soul like being in Nature and being creative..High vibes to stay grounded 🙂🕊

I really do still struggle with letting go of this monster and I don’t know why. She has treated me and my kids like trash and tried to destroy us. I get that im in a trauma bond but it’s just hard to let go of the fake person they’ve presented for so many years

Well, I just found out YESTERDAY that my ex narcissist has been trying to smear me. He's still doing his best to "try" and destroy me. He can't, though, and he really needs to move on now, I am way stronger than he could ever imagine. Omg, actually, u hit the nail on the head. He is so boring, with no adventure, only destruction and taking.

More than anything else, in a group setting they hate being outed, or exposed.

For anyone in search of understanding if their partner is BPD or NPD, some very serious Psychologists state they are really the same thing. One is Particular is Dr. Sam Vaknin who himself was diagnosed twice with NPD. He is a genius and can help people understand deeply what we’re dealing with. IMO we all go through the stage of trying to uncover if they are aware or unaware Narcissists that we have allowed in our lives. Vaknin was the inventor of “no contact”, and explains perfectly why.

Paula you are tha best at explaining how to defeat these narcissistic people..I'm happy an still on my healthy healing journey...he hooved me just yesterday about his do dying..I put up a sad face an kept on about my day ..this is how you be so undifferentiated with them...he took me through so much verbal abuse physical abuse emotional abuse. That I had no words for him...I'm so happy now..AN nothing will come between THAT !!!!! TY PAULA ❤️ 😍

I trimmed my tree last Christmas and then I did one for him. He said his was the prettiest tree he ever saw. My granddaughter asked him "What about ours?" He laughed and walked out of the room.

Hi ! Great to be here. Leaving the narcissist after 20 years, 10 living with. Took years for me to realize what was happening and to heal! I am an Empath who has freed herself from him!

My narcissist has several baiting maneuvers, gossip and speculation about others (never benign or generous) being her favorites. Nothing shuts her down or makes her angrier than looking directly at her with zero expression and saying in a bored tone of voice "That sounds like a personal problem" without any emotion or judgment, and not feeding the conversation at all. The only thing worse than this is, if she's speculating about someone else, is to suggest simply calling them to ask and find out. She becomes quite flustered at this, even though it's a perfectly rational way to resolve a genuine concern. The problem, for her, is that hmshe isn't genuinely concerned about the person at all; she's enjoying the speculation and innuendo.

When I was finally discarded, my ex narc, I believe, had intended to hang around in our house we had together possibly to be able to enjoy watching me in pain and also continue with their "interest" with their new supply and if things failed they could always suck me back in. However, the extremety of the shock wave of the discard caused my brain to go into this rabbit hole of questions! I describe my discard as a "light switch" as it seemed so quick the change in them. It left me reeling in total discombobulation. They can get so cocky sometimes that they underestimate you and I found her out texting the new supply which I confronted her with and said I know what you've been up to. Well.....thats when the barrage of triangulation, accusations, threats really began. Her need to keep this innocent "front" had been shattered!!! She ran off to her mums house and I think I totally messed up her plans to stick around. I know this was meant to happen so that I would have the space to confront myself without having them in my face. I started down an incredible journey of self discovery. An awakening unravelled. I know I was truly guided down a path that had been waiting all my life. I found I wasn't seeking closure from them I was guided to my own closure. It can be the most incredible experience when you're ready!! Being caught out drives them into a frenzy!!🤣I told my ex that I was so grateful to them for what happened (that blows their mind!!!🤣🤣)and no, I wouldnt change a thing, even the things I could say I am deeply ashamed of but so much makes sense now💚

The best part is saying "Let me call you right back and then dont..😅 Then when they call back again, say it again, then Block them!! 😅 Its empowering and a Queens play. 😊 ❤

The strength is in US within OURSELVES first and foremost from a spiritual place of any kind… my spirituality comes from validation of myself & energies of our living Mother Earth…❤

Thank you so much for this video, I just discarded a narcistic person, i loved dearly. Its like a rebirth out of hell

5:00 "So you can even say to their face, 'Look, I know who you are! So there is no point in continuing this charade." (Looking "disenchanted" and "unemotional" as she says at the 4:20 or so mark). If I ever run into them again, I am SO literally stealing this line (because I couldn't have said it better myself!)

Hello. A war is right. When I realized all that was going on in my life, and the evil ones around and how many of them, a Bible verse popped in my head. "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour". - 1 Peter 5:8 This all hurts like hell. I hate it.

When I got help I still looked at him with 'what is this weird being he's so far out of reality. Then much to my surprise he walked out quiet a a baby lamb. No biting. no scratching. He knew I had his game book. Terrorised the family and then gone. I think I quietly sat him out. I'm strong I can play the silent game too Last I heard he's in a protected housing unit. Good luck him he will meet his match. Out of the general society. The streets are a safer place now.

Hi !!! I love your channel Your explanations are easy to understand Thank you!!

This lady speaks the TRUTH! I've had an incredibly impossible year but a year of expedited growth while I put hard distance between me and 3 narcissists in my life. Do not give them ANY of your emotions even if they're starting a fight. Pay them dust, nothing. They have no RIGHT to disturb your peace. State the truth firmly when they come with lies/distortions. Tell them if you want to fight, you'll fight yourself," and walk off, every time. It's like training a dog, you'll see them with a look of shock on their faces. I practiced keeping my boundaries strong, my narcs look like pathetic children now, that have been mimicking adults. Keep your boundaries strong, REFUSE all fights by walking off, and give them ZERO emotions. I am finally at peace, they WILL self destruct.

You are helping so many people. God bless you!

I have found Indifference to be the most powerful weapon. I use the words they use “it doesn’t matter, who cares, whatever”. This makes them very scared because it shows you don’t care about anything even if you do act like you don’t. Example money…..”who cares God will provide.”you say, “Money isn’t everything” the kids …”oh well what will be will be. Have that poker face they want what you want act like you don’t want ANYTHING. Never let them know your heart. God will deliver them into your hands that stronghold weakens considerably. ❤ this is experience speaking after 36 years with a covert narc.

From Spain, this is the way! People need to know this information. Thank you.

PAULA YOU ARE A WONDERFUL WONDERFUL HUMAN BEING!!!!!!! I CAN SAY I AM SO GLAD I WENT THROUGH WHAT I WENT THROUGH, ITS NOT COMPLETELY OVER BUT IT IS WITH THE EX NARC, ITS WITH EVERYONE ELSE LIKE THE FLYING MONKEYS, BUT PAULA, I HAVE LEARNED SO MUCH ABOUT NARCISSISM AND PEOPLE, I FEEL SO GOOD ABOUT MYSELF AND THE THINGS I HAVE GONE THROUGH, EMOTIONALLY I HAVE GROWN SO MUCH MORE STRONGER AND FREER !!!!!! THIS IS A SPIRITUAL WARFARE I NEVER EVER WANT TO GO THROUGH AGAIN, BUT I REALIZE I HAD TO GO THROUGH!!!!!!!! IT IS A JOY TO BE ABLE TO GET HELP FROM PEOPLE LIKE YOU, YOU ARE TRULY A GOD SEND!!!!!!!!! I KNOW I AM GOING TO BE ALRIGHT!!!!!!!! I HAVE JOY AND HAPPINESS AND GREAT HOPE IN MY LIFE!!!!!!! THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH FOR YOUR CHANNEL YOU ARE TRULY A UNIQUE PERSON IN YOUR LANGUAGE AND UNDERSTANDING OF NARCISSISM

So relate to so much of what you talk about, I worked out after so many years of ups and downs, to be non emotional and then he aqueous me of being a Narcissist, no, 😂

Yes, they will explode if you expose them in front of other people