What happens when you stay friends with the person who rejected you 

be confident guys and girls. convey to them, "Look Im not interested in you as a friend. But should there ever be a time you change your mind, give me a call…" Then walk away and look in other directions. Don't settle for being a friend. Leave them…and move on.

You are right on this topic. When a woman says she only like me as a friend, I move on from her. I look at it is if we can't see eye to eye, there is nothing there. Staying friends with a woman who only view me as a friend is all in doing is torturing myself by hearing her talk about other guys. Some get upset that i refuse to stay friends but I have to do what is best for me. I here I'm wonderful Apparently I'm not wonderful enough and so I end things

Marie, you are fantastic. Every guy who is Single needs to watch this video over and over again. Say NO to the Friendzone.

If a girl doesn't like me as a boyfriend I sure would not want her for a friend either

Lex, for whatever reason, she is not interested. She just said she is not ready to spare your feelings. She probably has someone else she is interested in, or only likes you as a friend. Don't try to get her to change her mind! You can do better.

Such a soothing voice...

Thanks so much Marie! This was totally THE advice for me! I really appreciate all the things you are doing to help us :) You are great! Even though it is hard to be rejected we can't lie ourselves by believing it is gonna change if we stay friends with those people. Thanks for the sharing amazing Marie

I totally agree, maybe they change their mind whit the time, but you shouldn't be waiting there, you should go with somebody that can value you, because the right person could be waiting for you some were, and if that person is not that great, in reallity its better than be waiting to get nothing

Its never worth it hanging on,you only hurt yourself in the end.Its not about letting them go because you dont love them(still love them )but its letting a person go to take care of yourself (emotionally)

This was really helpful, thank you. It'll take time for sure but that's what best. Not easy to move on from a person who you were emotionally invested in, for them to treat you like a nuisance...

My take on this topic is this. If you both feel comfortable with remaining friends after a rejection, then continue the friendship. If not, the choice is up to one of you to break off the friendship and go your solo way. Relationship is a 2 way street and it depends on comfortability on what you settle for. You should never feel obligated to maintain a relationship with someone just because one person has a one sided interest in the other. The other person shouldn't feel obligated to remain friends after rejection. It shows that you are just waisting your time hanging on when another amazing person could be waiting for you. On my point of view it's life. Shit happens.

I am grateful for these videos, they address almost everything I have encountered in my life. I have done a house cleaning and elevated my emotional joy in the process. I became so tired of all the drama in so many people I was in contact with. They were clearly not as interested in me as I was in them. I even cried when a friend told me her husband left her for another woman. This woman laughed at me that I cried, mocking me for caring about her marriage. That encounter showed me a lot. I like that you say we can have "acquaintances" that way we don't have to start fights, but rather slink away gradually so there are no hurt feelings to hold over us. Very wise advice.

Right on. If they truly want to be friends, they will have to respect your wishes that they do not talk to you again and leave you alone, be it forever or indefinitely. On your part, just be polite and cordial and do not go out of your way to be rude and disrespectful to those who reject you. To me, saying "I hope that we can still be friends" is one of the worst forms of disrespect after rejecting someone or breaking their heart. It reeks of insincerity and hypocrisy. To those who do the rejecting, nobody owes you platonic friendship anymore than you owing someone a romantic relationship ('HOPE to be friends' is perhaps your understanding and realistic acknowledgement that friendship is not guaranteed after rejecting a person). Also, be careful about how you use the word "friend."

I've looked at your channel for years. You always seem to have the right video for the different stages in my life. This is not a good time, but I know there's someone is out there for me and its nice to be reminded of that.

Hey Marie, I kinda binged a few of your videos on rejection and I gotta say: THANK YOU! I got rejected today during a date and she gave me the typical "let's be friends" and "I don't really know what I want right now, but I don't want a relationship at the moment" talk . She also said "we could be friends with no direction towards anything specific". I don't know if she wanted to give me some glimmer of hope, so that I would stay around. Anyway. I really needed to hear your words to get my mind right. During the date right after the rejection, I told her that I could go with "just friends", but I gotta admit that I hoped that I could still turn her around after a while. I realise now that it is dumb to try that. I won't change her mind. She will probably meet someone else at some point. And I don't want to get hurt in the process because I can't stop my feelings. I will have to continue to see her because we are participating in a musical group together, but I will probably go with just being aquaintances and the "Hi...bye!" as you suggested.

Love your videos Marie they are short sharp and straight to the point you tell it how it is with no sugar coating.

Your four years old video brightened my eyes and mind in 2019. Thank you.

thank you for your advice marie, this was exactly what i needed to hear right now ❤

Jeez, so nicely put! Appreciated!

Bang on, Marie. I learned this the hard way some years ago now. Had an awful one-way crush on a now thankfully former co-worker. She wasn’t interested. I tried to stay “friends” and it didn’t work. It stung when she would complain about the jerk she met online who was her boyfriend. In retrospect she didn’t care much about my feelings but you live and learn. Where it fell apart was I had a tendency to drink too much and confess that I liked her to coworkers. Word got back to her and she wanted nothing to do with me from there. She was embarrassed I would even discuss it with others. We were further apart than I imagined. I did finally catch on with someone else who did like me and got married but it still haunts me to this day. I guess I would say to others take your shot but end it when he/she says no. “Friends” is an awful compromise from there and you don’t want to be the “friend” they complain to about the person the are ultimately dating and sleeping with….

Movies have done this to people

I Needed this.... my heart is breaking and i work with her everyday. what opened my eyes is you can never change people. its true. I needed to hear this and move on.

I could do it! I don't need her! Thank you for all your good advice:)

I don't understand why women want to stay friends with a man she rejected

I love your videos. So insightful and forward.

Thanks, I needed to hear this

This is the best advice and it has helped me so much.

San, go with the first option...back off completely. Otherwise she is just using you to stroke her ego. You don't need that. You can find someone who really cares about you, not this wishy washy business.

Stay friends with her as an acquantaince then meet new people. Thank you for the advise @Marie Dubuque. Love your videos. Practical and relatable😊

I love your video. Your right about what you said. Thanks for good advice 😊.

Always such helpful videos! :)

Thank you Maam for this video.It has helped me a lot.😔

Had that experience and we are friends. My mindset is good with that and it means more to keep the friendship than lose a friend over a crush or jealousy.

Have enough self respect to walk away from the rejection and move on to another person who loves you! Don't stay in the "friendzone" it will destroy you emotionally when he/she finds another person and starts talking about them to you and you'll be wondering why couldn't that person be me. Walk away from being rejected, it hurts way less than staying "friends"

My gf wanted to be friends with benefits after dating for 5 months. She said that she was very attracted to me and that the sex was fabulous but she didn't feel a mental connection with me. ???? I put her on a pedestal and I truly feel that she took me for granted.. I said absolutely not as far as being her booty call and that I am more valuable than that. I went no contact 2 months ago and haven't heard anything from her. It has been very hard to think that she sees me as only a sex partner when I treated her like a princess. My self confidence has plummeted and my heart has been broken. Deep down I feel that she will contact me because we {lesbians} are a minority and it is even harder for us to find a person of quality. If she reaches out, my response will be NO RESPONSE. What do you make of this, Marie? Yes, I am moving on.

Working on myself, I got the result of being happy thanks to myself. I fully accepted the fact that we won't ever be together, that she only loves me as a friend, and nothing else.! I'm not attaching to her, I'm letting time flow by while I make myself happy and do things that I love, but I still keep contacts with her, because I rethought the whole situation and I really don't want to lose her, but not as a lover: as a friend, as a life companion, as the person who she is.

thank you so much for your videos

a customer who is moving was kinda of slow about keeping her end of the time schedule so I made it know that this was it so we made a date for a friend to help...the she said to meet her at 8 in which she gave me a bunch of antiques and great furniture and as she turned her back she said she loved me... but my feelings tell me that there are different kinds of love and that how she could express to me...and I think it's OK to like someone with out really going out and sometimes and a Quince is tops... thank you marie

Exactly! I ghosted the guy who rejected me because of this. It’s like why would I want to be friends with him, or why would he even want to be friends with me? I don’t get why did he get upset about me keeping my distance when he first rejected me and it really hurt him that I ghosted him after trying to be friends with him, it’s like he doesn’t see how much torture it was for me to be around him. I couldn’t stand how strong my feelings were getting for him and I try telling him but he didn’t care so I just felt unappreciated so I was like this guy doesn’t deserve me, he takes me for granted.

Hi Marie, Thank you so much for making this video along with many other videos about rejection. They have helped a lot! I was rejected from a friendship group in college. I was depressed and my self esteem and self worth dropped a lot for about 6 months. I kept going over and over in my head what I had done wrong, that there must be something wrong with me to be rejected, and whether I should try it again and what I should do if I do try again... After reading some self help books, I finally realized that there was nothing wrong with me and that it was merely a "bad fit". Now I realized that I had wasted and lost a lot from this rejection, but my problem now is how do I deal with the mess after the rejection? I have all of them on social media (FB), which is my primary way to connect and share my activities with people I love (I deactivated my social media to avoid pain and because I was afraid of attracting jealousy from them). I am friends with some of them who have supported me throughout the school year, but a few would show utter disrespect for me despite my effort to be nice. I would still see many of them in school and in many organizations I am part of. I am not so sure what to do right now and they have impacted me so much. Should I completely unfollow all of them and make my social media private to all of them? Or should I just ignore the ones who dislike me and keep in touch with the ones who have supported me? Any other advice would be extremely appreciated! Thank you so much!

Thanks love your positivity. You cheered me up. 🙂👍🏻 Thanks alot. Like the podcast. 🙂✌️👍🏻

Omfg😞... i really needed all these words and sentences... thaaaaanks 😔

I was attempting to date a woman that was very mercurial and indecisive when it came to her attention towards me. I ultimately asked her to yes agree with moving forward with a relationship , or not. She chose not to, and I accepted that graciously. Fast forward two weeks later she's asking me why I'm short with her and not as open as I once was. I explained to her that when she made her decision, I accepted it and though we aren't enemies my friendship is no consolation. I will always be cordial, but I have no desire to be in a disingenuous friendship. She said I was being mean. 🤣🤣🤣

Finally someone who gets it! You are right!

the girl I like told me she isn't ready for a relationship. we still sometimes hangout. when we hangout I notice she never looks at any other guys and I'm pretty sure I'm the only guy friend she hangs with. my question is what do I do???

This was helpful I finally found the answers thank u so much I going to do it right now

i wish i knew this long time, its still helpful though

True thanks mam you teach me more then my mom n dad hope u get a long life you r so good

You're spot on.

Thank you.....i really appreciate dis

I love love. Such a beautiful gift, to work together with the opposite gender and show care for eachother. To know there's a stranger out there who loves you, reminds you to be kind and caring.

i really need this right now 💝

Hi Marisa, exactly!

This is like the friendliest mom I never had lol

Yyyyyyyyyep. Nail on the head. I found out the hard way. *cough* But live and learn! If any friend of mine goes through what I did, I'll tell them my experience and link them to this video. Thanks, Marie!

All this is so so true …now I’ve been ghosted by her … and I only have myself to blame …I was just a blind fool…

You look so cute with this hair style!

Oh and also, she took the fact that I once fell in love with her in a positive way. It helped her realize how important she is, and helped her accomplish (oh my gosh I dreamt of writing this!!) her goal, wich is becoming the best version of herself, the best she can be. She also wants to keep contacts with me. I observed her and she doesn't want me to hang around to help her. I helped her once, and that's it. She just appreciates the way I am.. I'm learning to really let go to not suffer anymore for the love she has for another person. I made this love be only mine and only saw it as a feeling that's making me happy and joyful. I transformed it and now it is only mine, I use it to help others (and her and myself, of course).

You saved my life, my girlfriend rejected me because she said has lost feelings, after one month of no contact I was thinking to text her but now it changed my mind.

Thank you so much for your helpful and meaningful videos. I wish I would know these things earlier when I was in high school. #justbemetoenjoymylife.

Thanks Marie ... you're helping me in my recovery .... what helps to get over a person?

thank you!

Hey Marie, So my situation goes this way.... I met with her two weeks ago, she was really wonderful.. We started sending msgs on social media non-stop... Then we decided to meet up on a Saturday, it was really great I get to know her much better she is really fun to be around. The next Wednesday I spend sometimes at her campus, she did introduced me to her friends.. Then on Saturday which was two days ago we met up again in the same park where we met on previous Saturday... As this moment I asked her if likes me and she said yea.. We were kind of getting intimate in the park, I won't go details to that... So I said would you like to be in a relationship with me? Then she cried saying that apparently I said the same words that her exe and we parted... The next day she msg me saying that she is not ready for a relationship and want one either.. Also stated that even though she has started developing feelings towards me, she would take a step back and remain friends... But she still won't mind me hanging out with her on Wednesdays... It's a puzzle for me.. I don't know what to do now.. Here is what I am thinking of doing... -Back off completely -Stop talking to her for like a few days and chill with her on Wednesday and see how things go -Keep pursuing I genuinely like her... .....Thank you for reading this whole situation Please advice me on this..

Going through this now actually. I was rejected by my friend who I had a crush on for a long time. She wants to remain friends plus she’s already talking to someone new. I see her and him almost everyday so it’s been difficult to get over. One day at a time or fake it until I make it lol Thanks for the words.

u are so right, lady!!!!!

I confess to a guy. But I was too late, we were both single in the office, but I keep denying the feelings that I had for him and now he has a girlfriend. I don't want to have an office romance and I kept thinking about the consequences but I was literally devastated when he said he is in a serious relationship, and he was hoping to be friends in the future. And the next day at work I had to put on a poker face everytime I see him until now. I shouldn't confess it in the first place.

What if I have a guy friend who thought he might be interested in guys but decided that he wasn't and still wants to be friends? :&

Hi marie, I really need your help now My friend showed me he and this guy's chat conversation, this guy all of a sudden was mad just because I appeared on his Instagram comment. And from the chat conversation he said something like "Damn, Can i delete her comment" and "how did she get my Instagram and can I block her" something like that and he blocked me. I don't get it how come he's all of a sudden acting negative and rejecting me for no apparent reason, I didn't even offend him. What should I do? And what do you think could be going on?

Thank you so much😀😃

Because we work together... 😩😦

i want to move on but how? she said that she values our friendship a lot so i dont feel like just cutting this relationship will be fair for her. im thinking of subtlety distance myself from her and let time do the work. ive already started talking to her less and less but seeing her with some other guy just makes the pain worse. we are in the same school so theres practically no way of avoiding her cuz our classes are right next to each other. i dont know how to move on but i really dont want to stay friends with her anymore.

I think it's depends if you know this person for a long time, you could still be friends with them.

I sort of disagree, perhaps I'm in denial but after she rejected me it hurt and it didn't help that I had to work with her the next day. When I went into work she was silent, didn't greet me as she normally would, I was silent too. I could feel the air in the room change and I didn't like it. Eventually I got past the awkward silence and we went back to our normal selves. The anxiety and the need to impress her was gone. What I thought would be a overload of emotions when I got home, turned into tears of joy. I was at peace. I didn't regret asking her. 😌 UPDATE : IM DONE WITH HER !!!!!!!

Wish I had of seen this couple years back.. been dragging this unhealthy friendship for 3 and half years. Time to let it drop I think.. otherwise I don't think i'm ever gonna find anyone else or move on with my life.

Hi Marie! I am wondering if you have any advice on what to do when your friend treats you differently when they are around their boyfriend/girlfriend? To be more detailed, when they aren't in a relationship they are great to be around and when they are, they hardly talk to you and are rude to you when you bring it to their attention. Really needing advice or perhaps a video? Thank you for all you do!

To be honest something similar happened to me, I’ll explain and if you read it tell me what you think. I had tho friend when we were freshman I didn’t like him much I was kinda rude to him because people would make fun of me but that didn’t stop him from being my friend I didn’t want friends but him and I had almost everything in common. We sat together and sometimes we are together all the time, this year we became best friends I had told him that I thought I liked him but not so directly and he told me “ I hope you don’t like me because I don’t think I can give it back” I was okay with that you know for him to just keep being my friend, then this happened. One day he asked me why I was smiling so hard when I came in the class and I told him about this “guy” I wanted to see how he would react I don’t like this guy he’s a pond in my situationship after that it went quiet. I’m telling you this silence was HUGE. He never asked why I smiled again. And he started getting to class faster after that. I got him a best friend bracelet but then people thought we were dating and he stopped wearing it. Sometimes in the hall I would put my hand out and he would just grab it but not for long with the excuse his hand was sweaty. When I talk to guys he makes it weird and says comments like oh but he’s a freshman or a senior I don’t think I’d be friends with a old or younger guy. And it’s okay when our teachers weren’t here I told him things about me and he would just smile the whole time and at times he would say I was so pretty. Then this happens on Valentine’s Day I was so sad because even though him and I had made some progress it would be weird if I got him anything so I didn’t, I had a dream in the hall he would give me chocolates and I was so sad because in my heart I wanted it to happen so bad. AND HE DID IN THaT HALL HE gAVe ME cHoCOLATEs it was amazing like something out of this planet it was so nice to know he appreciated me or even thought hey it would be nice to give these to her. We’re in a band class together and there’s a field trip I hope I can go and he keeps asking me. The thing is he didn’t say he liked me when he gave me the chocolates and it’s been a month maybe he won’t ask me out but oh my was this the best love I had ever experienced in my teenage years I hope we get married one day hahah even though I slowly think I never will what did you think btw this is all real it’s amazing huh? He’s amazing he’s just the best guy oh and also I think his friend likes me so he makes sure I don’t talk to him look I’m gonna describe with emojis 😩= Andrew 😐= him 🤪= me so we’re we’re sitting like this 😩🤪and he was not okay so he tell me move and I’m like we should sit like this 😩🤪😐 he was like no move so we sat like this 😩😐🤪 lol that’s it bye

Test the waters by little flirts and if she resists, walk away and tell her it's not good for you to be her friend.

I'm an introvert man in 20s and have been a friend with this girl for almost 8 years. Among people that I've met ever since, she's the only one that I'm really close with. We spend most of our time hanging out, such as going to a local store and spending hours in a coffee shop where we can have time being together. There were times that we even continue our conversation through text messages when we got home. We tell each other's problems just what friends do. It's like when inseparable. Until October last year, when everything became different. I started to have feelings for her. I kept thinking through about it and thought of the possibilities that could happen once I told her, but it felt that I was going to explode that I had no choice but to tell her. I told her that I like her (more than a friend, of course). I was nervous, especially when she said that she has already assumed that our relationship might come up to that point. These are exactly her words: "It's not that I don't want to; it's just that I'm not ready. There's a lot of things going on with me right now that I need to prioritize. Also, when someone became my ex-boyfriend, I never talk to them anymore." I understand her point that she has a lot of priorities because she has to support her family and has to finish college. Also, when she said that she doesn't talk to a guy once he became her ex made me thought that she really values me as a very close friend. Her response let me hanging that there might be hope that she feels the same way to me. I tried to keep my distance from her but it was hard. During those times, everything went the same: we hang out, we still spend time with just two of us, and we continue to send text messages to each other. I've kept on thinking about it. Last night I called her to ask what she really meant of what she told me when I confessed to her. She said the same thing again that "It's not that I don't want to; it's just that I'm not ready." She also explained to me that she had been in relationships when she's being controlled and it didn't turn out well. She didn't say it but I'm assuming that she had been in bad relationships before and she's contemplating and having hesitations about my feelings for her. I don't want to pressure her but I want to be straightforward to her so I know what's going on in her mind. I've also read articles and watched videos. It says that what a woman really means when she says "I'm not ready for a relationship" means that she's totally not interested having a relationship with the man. But what kept me hanging is her first response that "It's not that I'm not interested". I don't know what to do. Please help. Thank you.

Ma'm this is making me cry. I can relate it. But I can't see her with someone else. I just can't get over her. And I'm waiting my life I know it. But I can't move on😭

I did it and I stayed with him for 4 years, and now he wants to be in a relationship with me but the matter is I don't like him anymore and I don't know how to reject him without hurting his feelings, because I really love our friendship and I don't wonna ruined All the the good memories and our amazing friendship What should I do?

Marie, What does it mean when a girl says 'i like you as a friend more than a friend i don't know, then says i really don't know twice. Should i approach the girl again?

Thank you❤

I'm not friends with any of my exes. When it's over it's over and I like the fact that I can move forward with my life with no regrets. 😊

well, i may need a bit of advice from any source, but this source seems to be the best. I've had a massive crish on my best friend for 5 years and a while ago i realized that i truely loved her. but today, i finally asked the question " I love you, do you feel the same?" and i was rejected, and it was as if she took me being in love with her as offensive, like i only became friends just to get close to her and now i feel she doesn't believe me when i say i was her best friend first. what do i do.... I'm in a pinch

Hey Marie! I have a bit of a dilemma. First off, I like a guy, but I'm not sure weather he likes me back, or if he's just friendly to everyone. He uses a lot of verbal and nonverbal clues to make me believe he likes me back, but sometimes I feel like he acts that way towards all girls. It's hard to tell. Also, I've noticed he's been getting a little flirty with one of my close friends. But then again, he could just be being friendly. I get really jealous when he gets touchy or flirty with any other girl especially my friend. And I'm caught between the idea that he likes me, the idea that he's a player, and the idea that he's just a friendly person who acts the same way to everyone. He really is such a sweet guy and I don't want to believe that he's intentionally messing with people's feelings. What should I do?

I had to reject one of my pretty close friends. It’s a shame how things ended, we were really good friends and he just started crushing on me and then on a certain day he just texted me how he felt. Don’t really have any friends any more

Marie I have a problem people talking about me always get in my head and I make it even worse by thinking it even worse and people keep pushing cuz they are so tall and strong and don care de so any suggestions?

I get along amazingly with someone. We laugh, hold hands. All that. But yeah she's not keen :( I told her I'd take her on a date and she changed the topic. I've felt soooo dang happy around her. But I do know I couldn't handle her meeting someone else. It'll hurt too much. It's a bummer because we're so close. But I'm head over heels deep down. I have so many female friends and she's the first I've liked liked since 2017.

My cush who rejected me is also my best friend and my only friends so I can't stop being friends with her or I'm gonna be even sadder then I am now ;-;

Hi Marie. I was wondering if you could do a video on how to let go of people that are not good for you cuz I seem to have a hard time of letting certain people go, especially when I been friends with that person for so many years. The same person that screwed me over, I keep letting them right back into my life and push all of the nice people or seemingly nice people away. I would also think that's love when people ignore me, use me, abuse me(physically, verbally and mentally) and bully me cuz I been mistreated all my life. Anyhow, I would really appreciate it if you do decide to make this video cuz this has been on my mind lately.

He told me he'd love me back If I were a girl.I don't wanna lose him twice.But I feel like I just lost him both as a potential boyfriend and as a close friend.

Does this still apply if you were dating someone and they broke up with you?

I once confessed to a girl and for some reason she didn't reject me, we somehow became friends then she suddenly rejected me after a long while when my feelings were very deep. I really appreciate videos like these trying to say the things on what I should do in situations like these

When I bump into her again, I just said Hi but why does she still being awkward towards me after she rejected me even though I'm moving on away from her? What is she thinking about?

you right about everything friendship isn't answer

I used to see this guy and we actually went on a dates so many time and we getting serious but one day he told me he not feeling it. So we went separate way and I move on but we still be friend and I really want to make it but I know that not what he want anymore. So I am voiding him but sometime he want to spend time with me as a friends but it hard and hurt me so much when he talk about someone else. =(

I told this girl that my friend likes you and she told him and he got mad and my best friend is really good friends with him and I told him about it and a few months later I noticed that they were being like being sort of quiet around me and etc. and I also think that I'm not as funny as I used to be because of that what should I do

I don’t know why I am friends with someone who hardly texts me only when I text them then it takes them a while to reply back they rejected me on email chat but hardly even asks how are you even though we are friends on Facebook I do every now and then they say they like me but don’t show it I try to keep my interest in them

Marie, why is it that you hadn't replied to my question for a so long time? I had been waiting for you

If they reject your genuine friendship, let them go. You don’t need false friends.