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@Yomna I think they meant like you learned to analyse people's behaviour, character, etc. so you avoid upsetting them or them upsetting you I do that with my father. I've learned what words to avoid, how to express ideas so that he doesn't flip his shit or something, like how to ask (for) something,how to tell him something,... things like that. And then you analyse people around you, so that everything can be ok 🤷♀️
my dad used to snap/rip my art pieces in half. he would yell so loud and hit me on the throat. i had to start hiding my art and supplies so i could continue making it because i never wanted to give up
Idc that first one is straight up imprisonment. If anyone EVER found out about that the dad would have been in jail the moment they saw the way the door was set up.
Yup. On top of being abusive, that's also a little thing called "false imprisonment". Had to research it a couple months ago when my boss at work physically barred me from walking out the door at the end of my shift and forced me to work overtime against my will. The use of physical force, threats, etc to hold someone in a room or building, restricting their freedom of movement, is considered a crime. Obviously if its something like a parent telling their kid they can't run around town in the middle of the night, that's different. But locking someone in a room all day? Um, literal imprisonment.
Probably not because depending on the year of when that was happening which I’m assuming the 80’s or 90’s there wasn’t a bunch of laws on child abuse so if a police offer saw that, they would’ve just gave the man a warning until he did it about 3 to 4 more times to finally put him in jail (laws obviously weren’t as crucial back then, child wise)
As a kid my mom was really emotionally abusive, for example. When I was around 11 I tried to tell my mom how I felt because I was being racially bullied at school, and she didn’t let me elaborate, she didn’t let me speak, she didn’t follow up on it. She just ignored this. Then when I was around 12 I developed severe mental issues such as depression, anxiety, and I had to deal with them completely on my own. As a 12 year old. When I tried to tell her how I felt I would just get told to “grow up” even if I was screaming crying she ignored it, told me I was being a baby, and sent me to my room. She had no idea about any of the mental trauma I was going through, because of school and mostly her. So I had to deal with my mental issues for 6 years on my own with nobody to listen or care about how I felt inside, everyone ignored the face that I was self harming, barely sleeping or eating, and I had tried to open up multiple times. Also my dad was a pedophile. From about the age of 13 my dad would constantly comment on the size of my boobs and butt, to the point that I was terrified to be alone with him. Also my brother would beat me. My brother beat me up, poured ice cold water on me, would kick me, punch me, you name it. Although my brother otherwise was the nicest person out of everyone else in the family. I had a lot of good times with my brother, and a lot of bad but it kind of evens itself out.
Omg that makes me cry! I really hope I could help you ASAP. You know talking about this to someone really helps, well at least it helps me. But I hope you’re doing better now, or else you could talk to me.
Womp womp Womp if you need to talk to anyone about it i’m here x what you went through is horrible and no one should ever have to go through that at any age,
When I did something bad. My parents would beat me up without telling the reason. They wouldn't teach me anything. Just told me to think myself why I'm getting hit. And if I couldn't and didn't understand. They would hit me more. I was just a child and couldn't understand it so I cried and then they would hit me for crying and I would cry more. This would repeat until they were satisfied or told me I was too stupid because I didn't understand and that I probably would never understand and lock me up in my room.
I don’t understand parents who think like that. My parents saw their parents raising them like that and swore never to treat their children (us) that way. They try to be as kind, considerate and caring as they can be, and I hope to God that all parents can begin to see this perspective.
My parents would lock me in a dark room when I was much younger, about five to eight, as a punishment. Now, it wasn't actually locked, but I wasn't stupid enough to actually leave the room, lest I get put back in there for an even longer time. I remember banging on the door for them to let me out and screaming and crying, scared shitless. They wouldn't let me out until I was quiet, which usually took at least a good ten minute, sometimes thirty. Now I have Nyctophobia (fear of the dark).
@@youroldfriend862 It's a weird relationship. For as long as I can remember, my parents have argued relentlessly. I know that a lot of my mental issues and other various problems stem from them. They recently attacked each other physically and it spiraled into something even worse, so how I'm thousands of miles away from home, living with my grandparents. My mother has spending issues (it cost us our house), cigarette and possibly drug addictions and my father severe anger issues plus other various issues. They don't even love each other anymore. I heard both of them say how much they wanted to kill the other. "To wrap my hands around her neck and squeeze" as my father put it. I honestly wish they had aborted me or given me up to the prison guard my mom knew while she was in prison that wanted to adopt me (I was born while she was behind bars). I just wish they'd divorce already. They try really hard to provide for me and my siblings and I know they at least care a little bit about us. Sometimes it's hard to tell. I know that I don't wish death upon either of them, but I can't say I love them like I used to. I know I don't have a great life, but it could be worse. At least I have food on the table, a roof over my head, and clothes on my back. Can't help but wish for a normal family, though.
Panda Bun now you really are an educated child right there. I used to curse on my parents whenever they did even the slightest punishment on me. I still occasionally think about the words I use and even now I’m still disgusted by my own words just a few years ago.
@@bopsop2246 Well, I wasn't a good child either (although I do believe part of my issues as a child stemmed from my parents constant fighting, that's no excuse for my behavior). We all make terrible mistakes as children, but the key is being able to look back and see all of your flaws and faults and build off of them, which you've clearly done. You're experiences are different, so while I might be a but more mature then a few kids my age, you're definitely way more mature then a lot of adults. Those adults have forgotten what it means to respect people and how to admit your mistakes and work to fix them (some never even learn that).
"I'm angry because I love you" and "It's better for you being mocked by your own mother than being mocked by other people." are not normal..? ..oh god it took me 15 years..
That father in the 2nd story is such a mad lad. He went out of his way to QUARANTINE himself so he wouldnt have to discipline his kids. He deserved better.,way better.
When I was 5 I used to suck my finger whenever I cried idk why it just helped me from crying . My aunt was babysitting me for 2 weeks (worst two weeks of my life) and whenever she saw me do that she would hit me several times and lock me in a room and hit me until I say I won't do it again
Sometimes parents use the belt as abuse and others use it as discipline. There is a difference between hitting a child with a belt as abuse for no reason and useing the belt for discipline when their child does something really bad.
Ender Wolf Hahahaha I have to eat everything on my plate and I'm stuffed. Everytime I'm at a friend's house I'm scared they would get mad at me for not finishing my food.
That’s what my dad did I would end up crying and then I would get spanked and had to stand in the corner until I ate and they wonder why I was fat and got an eating disorder and started starving myself I’m only 12 😓
I feel bad for the dad in the second story, he was so traumatized by his father that he was scared to discipline his kids in fear that he would traumatize them.
@@hido... he did break the cycle, but its how he did it. Did he not trust himself? was he scared of becoming the minster that his dad was to him? may his soul rest in peace.
Used to be like that but me and dad are good now but since it’s been 2020 I have been treating both of my dad like shit because of how controlling he was and how he whip me over nothing and I barely did anything wrong now that i’v grown we just argued all the time and shit like that but we’re good now he said I’m sorry if I ever took anything to far. If I could be in a foster family back in 2018 I would but you can’t change the past
My mom used to whip and lock me and my siblings up in the dark basement if we didn't finish to eat our dinner in less than 10 minutes, i couldn't find my spoon or knife and we would stay there overnight. My dad was too busy drinking to notice
Is it normal if you went out without a jacket during winter and your dad found out so he used his belt to whip the crap out of you non stop? I was 7 that time so idk if it’s because he’s just worried or abusive
Lmfao for those of you wondering, the word jizz in his language translates to a word used with kids to describe a small to moderate infliction of pain. The most common use of it is a small electric shock which kinda makes a jizz (or bzz) sound if you think about it, but it can also be used to describe things like pricking your finger. A lot of young kids who may be doing something mildly dangerous will often get scolded by adults who will tell them that the dangerous item they're playing with is "jizz" and to leave it alone. I got more and more bewildered with that story too until I remembered the use of that word in the Iranian language lmao
It’s wild how abuse can feel so normal when you’re born into it. It’s just all you know. It really takes another person to make you realise that what you’re going through is abusive and that not all families are like that.
ali hadi babar oh, i’ve actually realised on the other day that it does take quite a bit of intelligence to understand you’re being abused and to fight against the (often manipulative) abusers a lot of people will never realise they were being abused and they will just continue doing it to others
GRAVER0BBERY I literally thought being punished normally was being beat up and all your things being broke 😳, this year I found out this is not ‘normal’
That's one thing I used to hate when I was a kid. I was so scared of my mother that I couldn't help but cry when she'd yell at me like that. So then she'd start screeching at me to stop crying. Which would make me cry harder. She does the exact same thing to my little brother now. I hate that too.
@@muscar1.a or come up with some bullsh!t excuse like “we do this cuz we love you” Oh in that case hand me that knife over there and I’ll show you how much I love you I’m convinced when some parents beat the living sh!t out of their kids they do it just for fun like it amuses them ugh
@@quandaledingle6949 I have resisted to openly fight my former adversary for the mean time to solve our conflicting ideas (my mom as the only living parent now), therefore I wish to not take part in continuing this generation since for one out of many reasons, my ever increasing ego has made its way to hopefully one day seize the family's ruling in making decisions. Anyone who objects shall become a potential subject for my future rehabilitation program. Meanwhile I'm debating whether my mom is capable of surviving what I'm about to unveil if she were to be tested on that age. Might as well find a younger candidate. Need her alive so she could have the front row seat along with other people for the showcase of power.
@bisexuwhale Then lets break that habit and be someone different than the mainstream norms. You know why today there are some old people who don't demand you to respect them? It's because in the past they might have gotten a similar treatment by their superiors like you do. Then they want to change themselves so our generation today can have their support.
My dad said that his grandfather used to get belted alot, or so that's what his grandfather told him. Apparently one time my dad's grandads dad(so my great great grandfather) tried to belt my great grandfather for whatever reason, and my my great grandfather snatched the belt and tore it up. What a legend.
I hate how it works. When kids sometimes have very little things to compare their lifestyle with. It’s crazy. And then, they still care and sometimes defend their parents at a late age. For me, I had an (somewhat) abusive step father and I am just now realizing how bad of the stuff he did to my sister and I was. He has been kicked out of his own house and I have an order of protection from him, if that puts it in perspective.
@@cyclone4273 bruh me and my sisters were abused and neglected for decades between us. Multiple CPS cases and nothing came of it. Relying on the government to save you is about the worst option.
one thing I'll never forget is that one time when my mom got upset about something I did and teared all the drawings (made by myself) on my wardrobe door while I was crying pleading for her to not do it. I don't even remember what I did wrong, but this is one of the first things that comes to my mind when thinking about "childhood punishments"
Kind of on the opposite side of that, I remember getting scolded in 4th grade that my art piece for a class project was too complicated and I was intentionally trying to make the other kids jealous. I ended up ripping the art piece up entirely because I felt awful that I was theoretically hurting the other students. Kind of surprised it didn't destroy my motivation for drawing in the long term. (also had a teacher in freshman year rip a doodle of mine).
It's literally the parents fault that the kids are overweoght and fat and then they'll be slapping the kids?Why don't you slap yourself for not looking after the way your child eats tf
My mom and dad make me have MASSIVE moodswings. One second im happy and cheerful next im mad and grumpy. My dad can't be bothered to account for things that make my nose and eyes burn like hell even though I've told him multiple times. My mom can't tell that comparing me to my classmates, soccer teammates, and my friends makes me feel unloved even though I give her many signs- So yeah this is why I separate myself from my parents the best I can-
@@Notvia-c4m dude, seriously. Tell them how you feel. You are inevitably causing this so just tell them and they should understand because they love you and. Care..
@@brittlebonesnickey1444 I try to but I never really get the message out to them- And I'm also afraid of what they will say to me because they always call me spoiled and rude when I make an effort to tell them that they are causing a minor problem-
I love how my parents tell me to get over my anxiety (diagnosed). No wonder their names are Karen and William. I love how my parents tell me to stop eating so much. Sorry that you don’t let me eat after I breathe. I love how my parents tell me to come out of my room more, sorry that you yell at me for being in your presence ❤️
There was this old lady at the dialysis centre where my mom went to, her daughter is really really rude to her, never spend a minute longer there, just dropped her mother there and came to pick her up. That old lady seems really nice and friendly tho. One time me and my mom talked about it and she commented how rude the old lady's daughter is and how ungrateful child she is. Then i said to her, we never know what kind of a mother she was when her daughter is still young and we cant really judge how a child treat their parents not knowing how the child got treated in their childhood. And my mom responded, that made sense. There was another family, a father and a son. The son always accompanied his father at the centre and always helping to ease his father. And i always think, if you want your child to respect you and treat you well in your old days, please treat them the same when they were still a child. Dont ever think that children are stupid because we can remember things.
I can’t remember the last time my dad even called me by my name and yet my mom wonders why I never want to talk to him. We’ve probably exchanged less than a hundred words this year so far.
My parents would weigh me as a punishment, and I’m really self-conscious about my weight and they knew that. So I started losing weight by not eating. They punished me for that. There’s just no way to win, is there?
Ah yes. My dad had told me to open the back door (it had broken and I didnt know how to open it the new way) So my dad got hella mad and yelled at me for being stupid. (Well I'm sorry I was supposed to pull it up with my foot and not my knee like you had told me) So I hella just ran inside and started screaming throwing my notebooks on the ground (cant break shit cuz that equals more bruises on my butt) and *slamming* my head on the walls. Weak head. Started bleeding. Just had a bandaid. He didnt question.
My mom used to lock me inside the bathroom for hours at a time with the lights off as a sort of time out. The light switch was located outside so when I calmed down, I just played with water until I was let out. Instead of developing claustrophobia, I actually became claustrophilic so now, I cannot sleep unless I am being smothered in a heavy duvet and half a dozen pillows and my way of self-soothing is playing with water. Thanks, mom!
AAhhhhhh she thought darkness was her ally... she merely adopted the dark. You were locked in it, left alone in it, you didn't see the light til she left you out but by then you were doing nothing but playing with the WATER
For those defending it by saying it’s “tradition” or part of “culture”, cultural acceptance does not mean accepting the unacceptable. I say this as an Asian who endured years of verbal and physical abuse with others passing it as “culture”
I sksked Ur mom It’s relevant to the video, abuse passed of as “discipline” is a norm in numerous cultures and people use culture and tradition as an excuse to abuse their children not seeing the wrong in their actions.
@Alexfc Nintendo Peer pressure can be good or bad, but it's usually bad because you *feel* like you're being forced to do something you don't want to do. And tradition can also be good or bad. If you excuse immoral actions because it's "tradition" you have some things to re-evaluate. "What?! I can't beat my wife? B-but it's tradition!1!!1" Not that all tradition is bad or peer pressure, but some people just use it to excuse their actions and some traditions are just immoral to any sensible or considerate person.
Dad: I hit and yelled at my daughter. She's crying. I threaten to hit her again. She's having a panic attack. At least she stopped crying, time for me to take a nap.
I cry when I have panic attacks, so the last time this happened (5th grade) he yelled “I’ll give you something to cry about!” And kept going. I was ten and it was over a bad grade on a test.
The perfect idea! With some smoothing of details, we can make this an applicable law! We just need someone to get into the legislative branch, once we’ve set down the basis of the laws, and if we can get the president to respond, we’ll be set…
Bro that one about the dad not hitting his children because he doesn't want them to go through what he went through is amazing. Shows how you can change and not be like your parents.Also self control
This is why I love my mom and dad. They love me, care for me and never pressured me in doing anything I didn't really wanted to do... If I didn't want to go out or something, they just say "Okay" and move on. Heck, they were the ones who encouraged me to write, to do what I wanted not what others wanted me to do! Cause some of my family members kept asking if I was gonna be a doctor or nurse or teacher or engineer like them and I always reply: "My worst subj. is Maths and you want me to enter jobs centered mostly in mathematics?
Strap in fellas, this is a long one. I feel like venting anyway. My parents were already kind of abusive in my childhood years, like pulling my hair and dragging me in front of a mirror to look at my own sobbing face and tell me I looked gross, pulling on my brother's OPERATED EAR, getting pissed at very small things, only allowing our response to be "yes papa" & "yes mama", basically bullying me for my chubbiness and abusing my little brother because of his autism/ADHD behavior. I always forgave my parents because I loved them and I didn't tell anyone because I thought it was normal. Turns out it's not. I found out later that both my parents were abused in their own childhood and carried that with them all this time. They were exhausted, cigarette addicts, drug addicts & sex addicts. At some point I just learned to walk on my toes in order to avoid pissing anyone off at home. When I was about 10 and my little brother 8, my parents had the biggest fight I've ever seen them have, causing my mom to go to jail and my dad to go to a hospital, which I didn't know at the time. My dad got out quick and my mom was let out soon after. They officially divorced before the fight but they decided to continue living together under the same roof until either one of them could move into another house. It was apparent that this was not going to work any longer, so they shared the house (one staying with me and my brother for a week while the other was living with a family member and then switched) until my mother was given an opportunity to live in a new house. She got most of the custody so we went to live under her roof and went to my dad's every other weekend. My mom always ranted to us about how awful my father is behind his back; calling him a drug/sex addict, a manipulator, a short tempered asshole and a narcissist right to our faces. I never dared to tell her to stop, so I just agreed. Meanwhile my dad did the exact same about my mom behind *her* back. I taught myself to listen to them while they were ranting and would later try to forget everything. I was obviously not doing well.. I was incredibly insecure about my weight so I stopped eating breakfast and lunch in an unhealthy attempt to loose weight, my grades got so bad I was failing my classes and started calling myself in sick more often, my social skills were awful so I had a hard time making and keeping friends at school, I hated my job (I worked at my dad's store because he forced me to become his employee, making our father-daughter relationship even worse since I found out he was an asshole boss too) and basically just fell deeper and deeper into depression. One day my mom snapped at me for "looking too depressed" every time I came home from school, and guess what she did? She said she wanted me to "pack my shit and leave the house". I was told this approximately *4 times* in my teenage years. First time by my mom when I was 13, once by my dad when I was 15 and twice last year by both of them when I was 17. I had no choice but to go to my other parent (by that I mean switching from staying with my mom to my dad and back continuously) because I had no other place to go to. While I was busy becoming suicidal and stocking up on sleeping medication, my parents would start crying and beg me to come back and get offended when I refused, they both manipulated me into telling me it was my fault for being an awful child that they had no other choice but to send me away from my home and excused themselves because they were "ill" and it is completely normal to send your kids to your ex even though you're VERY MUCH aware of how abusive your ex is and how awful their relationship is with your child. They literally told me to my face that they didn't want me, then days later would tell me that their ex didn't want me to try to get me back. I am now 18, and after a few months of me trying my best to continue my job and find a new fitting education while (once again) trying to get over new trauma and abandonment issues, have been sent back to my mother once again. I have cut contact with my dad almost completely and don't want to see him anymore. I decided to open up to my mom and told her I'm scared of her and that I have a hard time forgiving and loving her, and that I spend most of my time in my head just hoping I won't be sent away again, because it causes so much pain. She said I'm overreacting but promised she won't tell me to leave anymore. I hate her so much and I wish I could cut her out of my life as well but I'm just not responsible and mentally stable enough to live on my own right now, besides I don't want to leave my brother here alone, since he's still underage. Basically the only reason I'm still here is because it's more convenient for me, not because I want to. I'm giving her one more chance to redeem herself and hold on to her promise, but if she disappoints me and sends me away AGAIN, I'm going to take my chances with my mentality and money and leave for good. Hopefully being able to take my brother with me and live on our own in silence. I don't know what the future has in store for me, and honestly I'm terrified. But I still have a job that I'm able to go to even now with the whole Corona virus and I'm gonna try to go back to school as soon as I can. My story doesn't really have a happy ending so far but I have faith I'll get there eventually. Thanks for reading. Goodnight. *Edit, for those who are wondering:* I have mentioned this in the replies but I want people to know that I'm slowly recovering and doing better. In a nutshell I'm still living with my mom who is sadly only going deeper into insanity but at least I don't let it get to me anymore, I have recontacted my dad and we're slowly building up our bond. My brother is struggling but his grades are higher than ever and I'm really proud of him. I quit my job and went back to school and I'm doing quite well so far. Want you all to know that if I am able to get to a more positive place, then I am 100% sure you'll get there too.
She tries to hurt you again call or just do it now call 911 tell them what she has done and get her put in jail he and she thatis they both played a part in this
I really hope you get out of there you should try and get them aressted and try to adopt or somthing to get your younger brother. I hope your doing better now!
Seems like people cannot relate to this comment, I completely forgot about this till I received notifications that some people had replied to this comment, now since I don't want to cause any confusion, I'll just say that this comment was based on my experience, and not the whole population in general. Anyways, that's it. To whoever is reading this, have a great day/afternoon/evening.
Well parents before this generation also thought beating your child with a switch was okay so I think this generation of parenting being stupid isn't as bad as before.
You know I hate those people who said "Respect your elders" when a abused person tell them the story like holy crap, if you were smart enough then you would know that sometime it's not the persons fault that they were abused
My mom always told her friends: "She fakes being sick so often" I have never in my entire life faked being sick. Also, i once told her about my suicidal thoughts (I was 9-10) and she ignored me. I still have suicidal thoughts, and since then i started hiding my emotions even more.
My parents: *Yelling at me for some stupid shit* Me: *Crying* My parents: *Yelling louder and hitting me because I'm crying* "sToP cRyIng!" Me: *Thinking "How the hell do I stop crying with you hitting me, Karen?"*
I hate when parents do things like judge their kids weight scream at them for grades hit them or invade their privacy and then when the kids open up about possibilities of depression they get called ungrateful or they’re too young to be sAd
I was grounded from things for years on end for stupid reasons. When I was six I was grounded from pokemon for two years because I believed dinosaurs had existed in the past.
Yea getting long term grounded just makes you learn how to cheat, lie and steal. Oh I cant have pokemon cards? I'll just steal someone elses and hide them somewhere safe. True story, but not mine.
@Mairead O'Connor AKA Mo apparently the church told my mother that pokemon was poisoning my ability to tell the difference between fact and fiction. Because bible
my parents never spent too much time with me, so you can imagine how uncomfortable I get around when I see kids who hang out with their family and act like their best friends.
Actually a lot of parents know my parents aren’t around too much and then they would insist me to come with them. Sometimes being with another group or family would feel so different when they insist “No don’t worry, get what you want.” Or “It’s okay, stuff happens” Never got those opportunities at home.
i was facetiming a friend who comes from a household where everyone yells at each other and she asks me if anyone was at home, i answered “yes everyone is home.” to my surprise, she responded “really? why is it so quiet?”
Yup yup yup that makes complete sense to me. I actually find myself desperately craving noise when I'm around others. Sitting in a room with someone in complete silence (unless they're on their phone) is actually a minor trigger for me. I'm currently staying at my friends house until I sign onto the lease for my apartment and I literally avoid leaving her room when it's just her parents in the living room and they aren't doing anything. First couple times I walked out and they were sitting there in silence and turned to look at me, i nearly had a fucking heart attack. Complete silence to me reads as "you're about to get your ass handed to you" and i try to guess desperately what i did wrong in my head. And they're just sitting there. Just enjoying their time together, carefree. As I'm losing my mind over literally nothing. At least with shouting, i can listen and tell if it's about me or bad enough that they'll take it out on me and I can prepare myself.
I was 12 and had a friend that smoked cigarettes and every time her parents found out she had ciggs they would make her smoke the whole pack in one sitting.
i'm honestly so terrified that one day i'll become abusive towards my girlfriend or our kids if we ever end up having them. i don't ever want to end up like the people in these stories.
I'm terrified of this too, but what helps me the most is abusive people aren't scared of hurting the people they do and we are. Like sometimes I'll get bad dreams where I'll hurt the people closest to me, and I wake up crying and shaking, but I think how strong that fear is is proof we won't and can't hurt them.
I don't think you'll end up like that though. You're worried about it, so you're educated on the topic. You'll know the limits so you'll know when you're being too violent. I'm sure you'll be an amazing S/O and possible future parent ^^
My parents would slap me whenever I say something bad, like the word damn or anything, but my dad would watch R-rated movies whenever I’m around thinking I’m not going to understand the words they are saying in the movie, so I start saying those words like like it’s a normal thing. And then I’M getting punished for it.
@@sh1pped-gr2co oh my bad I used to be bad at not saying curse words like if I heard someone say were is my shit I’d at what shit and they would just look at me and I’d say what because I wouldn’t realized just said that
My mother: *calls me useless, dumb, lazy, annoying* Me: *has bad self esteem, constantly upset, always in a bad mood* Also my mom: *suprised pikachu face*
Hans Luden “suck it up”, really? People like you just get me on a whole new level of mad. You make it seem like someone’s problems are nothing and make them ashamed to feel ashamed. All you’re doing is making the situation worse. Why even say anything if it’s hurtful?
Uhhhh... i am a student that gets into honors and has pretty high grades most of the time but if i got a grade lower than 90 they would question me why i got low grades and it made me sad and feel like a disappointment to my family.
My father would do this thing where he would drag me and my brother into a separate room and yell at us at full volume by body shaming us, calling us brats, spoiled, and he even called us failures and disappointments. I only remembered it now, but he left the window open so everyone could hear.
For clarification, he was an alcoholic and my mother divorced him and she had to tell us that it wasn’t normal and it was verbal abuse. If you ever feel threatened, find someone you trust and tell them. You are not alone.
My father probably mentality abuses me I found out recently what abuse is, I don't blame him he had an alcoholic dad and that made him this, but I think that I won't try and be abusive to my future children but that probably won't happen. (P.S, I have low levels of self esteem and many also probably undiagnosed depression, at ten. Please learn from this, I am very suicidal so if you do this to your children think about me and how I want to kill myself at ten.)
is your dad making lewd comments about u and smacking your a$$ not normal? he kinda does that sometimes but not that much anymore bc i stopped giving him a reaction and put on a brave face but it kinda made me wanna cry. sorry if i wasted anyone’s time u don’t have to reply or anything lol
For some reason I'm thinking of the movie Parenthood where the character played by Keanu Reeves says you have to have a license to have a car or a dog, but anyone can be a parent.
@@comesbythedrunkensun In retrospect, yes. No child should ever have to suppress their anger, even if it's misplaced. When I moved out, I gave my grandmother every bit of the rage I was forced to withhold. She's no longer a part of my life.
SAME i literally HAD A PANIC ATTACK because i forgot to read a book and the counselor was all 'Your okay its not that bad your okay" BUT NOW SHE MOVED AND IT WAS FROM MY LAST SCHOOL, but this school is okay except one teacher my fav teacher is my art teacher:)
•Vero은미• yeah same. When I was younger, either my mom or my dad would give us the belt and I always ended up crying. But I got used to my mom’s belt hits and it eventually didn’t hurt anymore. I rarely get it now, but my dads hits will always hurt much, but when my mom hits, it’s not really anything anymore
My ex girlfriend once beat me with a pair of jean shorts. It was terrifying, but we laugh about it now because the absurdity of the situation. We're still best friends and were in childhood too
Iv been spanked with a belt like 5 times between the ages of 5-7 from where my parents come from thats super normal and even encouraged so thats totally normal for them but my mom apoligized to me for it years later. Idk im not mad or anything my parents are great (meh mostly) otherwise
My friend's dad whipped him with a fishing rod and nearly broke his spine Also, verbal abuse as just as worse as physical abuse. I've been called stupid, lazy, fat and shameful. Also getting punished because you make a realistic point in an argument pisses me off so hard
I did a ton of research on emotional abuse for an argumentative essay in my senior year of high school and I vividly remember one study showing that emotional abuse in some cases can be more damaging than physical abuse and sexual abuse COMBINED. That emotional abuse was either the most or second most damaging form of abuse, right next to sexual abuse.
Is being called lazy abuse? Well my parents use to say stuff like "are you really just gonna sit on that (video)game all day?" (In ukranian) but tbh... it was completely true my mom called me lazy a lot and i kinda was i mean is that abuse?
@@marianna380 abuse cannot be narrowed down to any single instance or anything like that. If you're regularly degraded, called a worthless child, for example. If they threatened physical harm, told you they wished they never had you, etc. If it's verbal degredation on a regular basis, then yes, it's abuse. If you're just called lazy when your parents want you to get chores done, then they might just be toxic and have poor communication skills.
There is being called ugly by kids at school but then, when it's said by family? When I was younger, my mum took some photos of us and said I looked ugly AND SHE AGREED, I cried.
Essentialy "grounding" me to my room for weeks to months on end. I spent the entirety of summer 2014 in my room getting a cheese sandwich for dinner every night. I spent Christmas break 2015 in my room. I wasn't allowed to talk with my younger siblings during these "groundings." I have autism and these groundings happened either because I had too many Meltdowns or I took apart things. (I have always had an interest in taking things apart to see how it worked.) I basically spent about 60% of my overall home time in solitary confinement from age 7-14.
That must have been depressing, my foster parents used to ground me often too, no TV, nothing to read, physical abuse, I ran away from home to try and get away from it all, I'm sorry that you had a life like that but I hope you are more happier now!
Ever get when parents are shouting at u and ur crying and they’re like: ILL GIVE U SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT!! clearly I have something to cry about if I’m crying..?
Yeah, it traumatized me to the point of bottling up my emotions till I was at least [Insert older age] when I started watching try not to cry videos to make myself cry. Other than that I've been "Tough" for never really crying until I broke my lower fibula, once I did that I was silent and started to sob into myself to muffle it and everyone freaked out, long story short.. I don't cry much anymore. XD Edit: Sorry for the bad English.
Tristan Games I’m proud of you for forgiving because it isn’t easy to do. I believe you’ve already won 90% of the battle. The rest is only to live your life anyway that makes you happy. Letting go, for me, just means to stop looking back. Don’t let what happened play in your head over and over, and when something goes wrong don’t point to the past as a cause. Make life about today and tomorrow, not about yesterday. It all takes time and if keep moving forward you’ll keep making the past less significant. You’ve opened the door to better things by forgiving :)
I’m Asian and I can confirm that. ☹️☹️ I thought that when I was younger, kids would always get punished like I did. But when I got older, I realized that the kids usually only get grounded. I then started to feel insecure and had low self esteem because of my parents shaming on me, usually for my grades and fat shaming. For example, one time at P.E. We were doing basketball and was doing freeshots, we were given 3 chances to shoot one. So we were separated into three groups. Our school was quite small and it was a private catholic school, so our classes were small also. But whenever i shoot, I just take my ball and go to the back of the line because I was insecure about myself and I knew that I was never going to make the shot. Also, my classmates would make fun of me. I know this for sure because one time a kid tried out for basketball teams, and he made it, but in class, everyone was talking about him behind his back about how terrible he was at Basketball. We had two homeroom classes per grade, so it was labeled for 8th grade, 8A and 8B. The people making fun of the boy were in my class, 8B, while the boy was in class 8A
One weird and painful thing that my mother does to me is when I accidentally injured myself, she would beat me up even though that I'm injured, this is why I wished that I'm not clumsy. (Btw, she stopped doing this to me but I don't know if she's going to do it again.)
I can relate to the teen mom one. My parents once left for their late honeymoon and left me, my brother, my baby sister, and my grandma in the house. My grandma is really stubborn, mean, strict, and perverted. She’d always slap my ass, grab my brothers.. thing, but thankfully she never did anything to my baby sister. She was also extremely lazy and wouldn’t do ANYTHING around the house. When I asked her if she could cook something, she’d yell at me for being lazy. Like woman seriously?! Anyways, I had to do everything around the house, since my brother was in high school already and he had to study. He helped a bit but still! I had to change diapers, shower my sister, change her, make her milks, all of that. I also had to learn how to cook, and my grandma would complain about the food every time. I cooked, cleaned, changed diapers, and on top of all that, I had to study and do homework. When my parents came back, my grandma claimed that she was doing all the work and we didn’t do anything, AT ALL. I got grounded for 3 months, but as soon as my parents figured out I WAS THE ONE doing EVERYTHING, they kicked my grandma out and yeah. We all lived happily ever after yeet
@@g3ckofish44archive EXACTLY! And then they act like it's our fault,like we ask the same thing 5 times. like fam,i just want to ask you a simple question,so why are you giving me a 28 minute long lecture about getting some soda? *Logic is dying*
Same, once my parents threw my brother outside, untill he learned his lesson. It was a winter night. And he calls him idiot/stupid, etc. Now i realize its not normal. Tho i dont hate him.
Yes, kids can behave without spankings. In fact, if you reward your kids when good, and redirect them when bad, they can be amazing. If you spank them every time when they are bad, and don’t even acknowledge when they are good, they won’t be motivated to try to be the best they can be.
Lian Khai Wdym? Are you talking to me or them? And although I don't play gacha life, why hate on something someone enjoys? Either way, what I commented was genuine. I never receive any encouragement from my parents. They're only around to tell me how disappointing I am. I get a good grade, they say nothing. I get a bad grade, they tell me I'm gonna end up with a full-time job at McDonald's. I barely have the motivation to get up in the morning. If I could stay in my house forever and become a recluse I would. :/
When I got a grade under a seventy or did something they didn’t like my mom wouldn’t grab a belt with rhinestones and hit me with it (that only happened twice or three times) Or when I did something they didn’t want me to my mom would slap me and grab my shoulders and throw me across the room My dad never ever ever even dared to try to slap me
...I may have a similar problem, although I tend to remember the bad stuff, I have what seems to be scars of some sort on my back, but don't remember anything to have caused them?
I think that what happened to me. I hear stories about myself and I'm like, damn, I went through some serious shit. I was abandoned, beaten, drowned (my parents didn't give a fuxk, my sister who is older by 1 and a half had to recuse me). I also heard that my mother pulled out a knife on my brother when he was a baby, threatening to kill him and that my dad threatened to shoot his mom with his gun. Sounds fucked up. My Uncle and Aunts refused to tell me more details, saying it's better to not think about the past and just live the present. Who knows what other things happened.
Child: *does something wrong* Parent: ah, I could tell them why it is wrong and not to do it again kindly and reasonably so they don’t hate me forever, but let’s abuse them instead lol.
Yall I’m not saying all parent’s do this, but it’s done a lot. Whether or not it is intentional or not is a different matter. The thing is some parents do this and that’s what I’m saying.
Chai Zan spanking are actually kind of normalized,but the rest (punching,breaking thing etc) is abuse,so i don’t think someone shouldn’t have kids just because they believe that kids deserve a spanking for something wrong they’ve done so they don’t do it again (only if they won’t listen,of course)
My ex-stepdad yeeted my ass off the roof because I might have gone to an after school social without permission. I cracked a rib in the fall, it didn't heal correctly and it still hurts to take a full breath in sometimes
( I’m not on Reddit ) I was about 12 when they put cameras that are watched all day in the bathroom and bedroom. I never noticed that it was grandpa and step dad watching them.
That's, that's not a normal family would do. Pick it up, delete the records & destroy those cameras. If you're underage contact 911. U need to get help
I'm celebrating 4 years of freedom from my abusers this spring! :D People who knew me when i was still trapped with my abusers tell me I've changed a ton and in the best possible way. I'm THRIVING and happy to keep finding ways to grow and be the best person i can be.
@@haileyodonnell1456 good luck! If I were you, as you get closer to the date, I'd start leaving a couple small, important possessions with your friends. Bring them to school and have them hold onto them until you're free. You'll be leaving almost everything behind. And it'll still be more than you planned especially if you get caught. My abusers caught me and they distracted my friends mom while my brother stole my possessions out of her trunk (he's the golden child). For about a month or two, I only owned the amount of clothes you'd take on a week long vacation and not much more possessions than that. You should still only take the things you absolutely need and not much more, but be wary of how much less that could become if you get caught, so set stuff aside ahead of time. At least one set of clothes and stuff that's important to you emotionally like a childhood stuffed animal. They'll 100% target the possessions that'll hurt you emotionally to give up if they catch you. If your parents have a feature where they're able to track your phone, get a new one. A few days without a phone is better than risking your safety. Good luck!
"I'll give you something to cry about!" "Why do you beat me?!" "Because I love you!" "If you loved me you wouldn't beat me!" Probably when I was old enough to talk
When i went through my "emo phase" in middle/high school, I cut myself quite a bit. In 9th grade, my parents saw cuts on me for the 2nd time and my dad punished me for self harming. The entire summer vacation he made me make homemade firestarters for his survivalist/apocalypse preparation collection. Basically I cut mcdonalds straws in 2 inch tubes, coated unraveled cotton balls in vaseline, and stuffed the cotton into the straws with a toothpick & sealed them closed by melting the ends with a lighter. I had to make 500 of those until i wasnt grounded anymore. Took me about 2 weeks to do it. My electronics were confiscated and i wasnt allowed to hang out with friends until that job was complete. Didnt realize how weird of a punishment that was until i got older.
I started crying in front of my Mom when she found out I Cut myself.. My dad has never seen my cuts but he knows and we didn't have a fight about getting to see them when he comfronted me about it.
6:09 this is seriously crazy the EXACT same events happened to me, also a stepdad, also 10 years old, also very protective and literally praised my mom when I was in pain (she didn't care either) I also had/have anxiety😪 .... I wonder if that guy's stepdad was named brian cause this all happened a year ago too..😳 differences: they divorced for like a month and got back together🙄 and i have a horrible relationship with her cause of him. i didnt get my happy ending. Life sucks
When i was younger, my father used to take me to my bedroom, and then lock the door. He would get a belt, put it around my neck, tighten it and drag me as a “lesson”. The most extreme was when he dragged me through the corridor. Now that i look back, that was extremely abusive lol
When i was a kid, i used to make small mistakes like slipping and fall, sneezed even before i said "excuse me" (i was told to say excuse me before sneezing), accidentally dropping a trash and not get into the bin,etc. And my ex-dad would tell me to go to the corner of the room, and slap me with the door. Yes, it hurted, but he would just say it's my fault. I thought it was normal and all my friends 's dads / moms are like that too, until when me and my friends were talking about our parents. I told them about my dad, thinking it was normal, and my friend said "oh my god what the fuck" and they told me that was so weird / crazy and things like that. And then it hit me. My ex dad was crazy
4:06 "...it was all my fault anyway." Hit close to home. I'm always the one that's wrong when I point out their abusiveness. I'm always so angry but I'm not supposed to act out on it. It's piling up inside and it's so exhausting.
Same. But I always try to put on a smile for my friends. My parents aren’t abusive but one of my sister’s and my brother are. I just wish I could do something about it. But I’m the youngest so I can’t really
@@azumi4369 Yeah, my friends doesn't know about it too. I mean, what's the point? They listen, I get it out of my chest, and then I'll just receive pity. I don't want to be perceived as the friend who got serious family problems.
Bloody hell, most of these are like hearing about my childhood: the gaslighting, the constant beating, the breaking of my things...If I'm ever lucky to have kids, I'll NEVER do these things to them. Yes, I'll discipline them, but these stories are just examples of severe abuse.
