My house but with frosted pop tarts. I never had one with frosting until I lived on my own. 😂 regular pop tarts were absolutely fine but frosted ones was a huge no for some reason. 🤣🤣🤣
"food is morally neutral, but we can also learn how to make good choices and listen to our bodies" something I'm struggling to learn now at 30. good on you for raising your kids like that from the get go, i wish my mom had
Ugh I'm feeling the same way too, I have bad eating habits like terrible. I have bad binge eating habits. Whatever you're struggling with, I hope you feel better and take care.
Thisssss this is always a topic I've been so afraid to breech with my SO and future kids and how we'd manage their diets. But I had no idea how to word it, I love how Momma explained having responsibility without punishing or shaming so simply. Food is morally neutral, but its still important to learn how to make good food decisions. I'm def keeping that in my pocket. Thankfully my parents were never terrible about food, we had home cooked meals that were always nutrionally balanced and kept minimal snacks in the house. There was never shame in eating snacks, just observance of excess (which we learned ourselves like when I ate 8 oreo cakesters and felt ill the rest of the night) and that they're just that: snacks. I never really get sugar cravings or junk food cravings, but will still have em around the house for when you want smth small to nibble on. Honestly I kind of just don't think about food, I listen to my body more or less, which are lessons I def thank my parents for. It really blows my mind how destructive some parents are in regards to food and their kids (especially their daughters). Like my parents weren't saints, but the food and weight thing weren't things they shamed us for as kids. I have a few friends with ED's and its a constant struggle for them. I wish you luck in your endeavors. Always remember you are valuable and worthwhile
I 1000% agree that this is a great way to teach your kids their limits and what can work. But be careful when wording it. My grandparent and mom tried to teach this, but followed up with “you will get fat if you don’t eat correctly” and pointing out when a grandchild supposedly “needed” to eat healthier. This can really change the whole concept. Be careful, best wishes✌️
Same boat as you ..I eat so poorly. My body adapted to it cuz it knew if it didn't I'd die. SMH it's kinda hard eating healthy especially with a shitty schedule and all these fast food places
My sister usually asks my niece (when she doesn't want to finish her food) if she wants dessert, if she says yes she (her mom) tells her she still has space for food 😂😂
If a kid is hungry really hungry you should have a healthy snack like carrots or fruit, we should from a young age be teaching our kids to ignore impulsive habits to eat when bored and go for tasty bad snacks that are overly salted or high in added sugars. As an adult it can be hard to untrained the habits when we realize "oh crap u need to start being healthy" when you are well past the problem and are forced to a solution.
Yeah, gosh I'm learning so much about my own impulses and how to more effectively (healthily) deal with them. 🥰 So much easier than just trying to ignore the craving/actual hunger till you start getting sick cuz it's hard to tell the difference sometimes. 😑
The "And who even are you, we didn't have Oreos in the house until I was like 17" is so accurate! Basically as soon as my mom and uncle went off to college my grandparents got a gas lawnmower, color TV, and replaced their 15 year old stick shift car with an automatic.
I mean that's what alot of them did back in the day they couldn't afford things the same w a house of dependents so they waited until everyone was gone. Also my gma told me it was so they could have nice thing's not being ruined by kids half joking
@@peach2210 Honestly, I think it was that my gramma finally convinced him that automatic cars weren't "undependable" lol, and he thought that because the kids were out of the house it may last a little longer. My grandpa was an engineer, so he didn't really trust or see the need for new products when the old stuff worked perfectly fine, hence why it took him so long to switch from a push lawnmower, he also didn't like purchasing things until he knew and understood the mechanics behind it.
One of my proudest moments was when my 11 year old granddaughter said to her sister (4) "wait for your brain to get the message from your stomach, it takes 22 minutes" 😊
@@emilyhollis4231 I have two younger cousins. When we were younger, the littlest always believed everything the older one said. Children sometimes think that their older sibling walks on water. You never know.
I had to tell my mom that indulging everything my son wants the way she never did for me is not how she overcompensates for the lack of sincere nurturing in my childhood. Parents love to overcompensate their guilt through their grandchildren.
Thank you for these. I feel so so guilty when I am not the gentle parent I want to be. I think trying to be sweet sweet all the time leads to me just exploding.
They still educational in a fun way. I might be able to impart or send links to a friend who DOES have kiddos. And... Quite honestly it's a type of parenting that i wish i had experienced. 🥺
Same! But because my mother babysits for a living and all my siblings have kids, I'm around them a lot. Sometimes it helps to have (hilarious) reminders that being gentle isn't always babying them.
My mom told my kids to call me mean mommy when I wouldn't let her give them junk food before dinner. I got the kids to cough when my mom lit a cigarette around them.
@@ckdraws410 my Daughter Chrissy grew up to be very sweet and a little mother to her brother's and friends. My son was a sweet little boy and grew up to be a jerk
My son keeps telling my parents to quit because he doesn't want them to sound like the lady in the commercials (with the stoma). He proceeds to make the sounds as an example.
I grew up with those rules, continued them in my house until my husband kept forgetting his special snacks and they would go bad. Now he gets two days of hands off and then it’s fair game 🤷♀️. He gets more days for pantry items but it’s usually yogurt and I’m done throwing it out!
"If you're actually hungry they'll taste real good" is so true! Junk food cravings aren't just hunger, we also crave the flavor bc it makes us feel good
I’m a sibling not a parent but these videos have certainly helped me be a little better at interacting with my younger sister and stop being a little hostile :) Tysm
At my Memeres house she had a "secret" cookie box and then one on the counter. When Mom said enough cookies Memere would always take out the "secret" cookies and say shhh don't tell mom 😂 Even though Mom could plainly see. Lol
If you're a parent that always gives in to your child... One of the things you need to understand is compromise. Give them a choice of what you want them to do and something you know they don't want to do. It always comes around to them doing what you want in the long run.
Could you address gentle parenting when you have guests around that step on your toes? (Like an in law, or "well meaning" person who has already done their child rearing?)
@dragonprincess8205 she has since done a few others. But I have an in law who will throw a fit AT ME when I try to correct my child. She will slam doors, and huff and puff, and stomp around MY home. It's not my parent, and she does it when my partner isn't around. She plays manipulate games like having my daughter ask for one snack that she knows I'll say yes to, then will get her a different one under the guise of "a snack is a snack". And then I'm the bad guy for telling my child to get the snack they asked for. (My daughter is also mentally delayed, so sometimes she doesn't understand what's happening between us.) This video in particular felt very mild to me, where you can have a conversation with the other adult. But in my situation, it's never an simple back and forth. It's always an argument. And until my husband makes the choice to cut her out, or severely diminish the amount of time she can come around, I have to deal with it. (That time seems to be coming up very quickly though.)
Lol this is totally my daughter’s great grandma omg 😭😭 … it’s just like for me it’s the disrespect TO ME as a parent when you’re trying to override what I have already established. I really hate that.
I apologize if this sounds weird: Im baked like a cake rn and watching your gentle parenting pov vids is healing my inner child. Im actually crying, thank you for your content.
The "who even are you, we didn't have ores in this house till I was 17" reminds me of my grandparents, they didn't buy surgery cereals (occasionally would on Christmas), they didn't go out to eat, they ate a balanced diet. Then the grandkids were born, 5 girls, and they spoiled us rotten, my grandmother would give us a balanced meal (3 big bites of the stuff we didn't like😂) and then she would make desserts and all the goodies for us, she would send us home with cookies all the time! And my Grandfather would make cereals and waffles in the morning, safe to say my mom was stunned😂. It's the little things that I'll never forget💜
My mom would smoke in the car my daughter Chrissy would start coughing and tell her that she was choking them. My son David was under a year old and he mimicked his sister. She'd cough and he would start coughing too. I had to keep from laughing
@@runawayfaeIX Not with my family. They turned on the car ac blowing it into the back. Them after hearing me complain about breathing they would open window. 2 chain smoking parents
I love that you can acknowledge that food is morally neutral and that not every food is appropriate at every time. So many people go full to one side, either “cake is bad, so I should never eat it” or “cake is no better or worse than anything else, so I can eat as much cake as I want, whenever I want”. It’s important to realize that foods aren’t inherently good or bad, but some foods are better than others for you and that all foods are best in moderation. Sincerely, Someone who ate only microwave chicken nuggets for most of college.
My grandma has snacks in her house like she's prepping for a college house party lol. It's just her and my aunt. She was such a big enabler growing up, and every time I visit her she still asks at least a half dozen times if I want anything to eat/snack.
Thank you, seriously, I keep hearing that offering healthy alternatives can give kids eating disorders. It’s good to hear I’m not damaging my little dude.
Grandma here... I care for my 2 and 5 year old sweet grandbabies during the week and my favorite, 'How to get another snack from Grandma or Grandpa?' "Please, may I have a healthy snack?" Food is food at this point sweetness and Mommy and Daddy would like to have a nice dinner with you in a half hour. 😚👍 "ugghhh a half hour is soooo long" they have no idea how to tell time. Man I love these babies!! ❤️
This is a great way to uphold Grandma and get your kids what they need. It’s so important to show respect to Grandma so that your kids will be just as kind to you when your the grandmother. My mom modeled this for me and I try to have the same relationship with my mother-in-law…even when she wants to give them ALL the junk!
Honestly I love that you don’t tell your kids “no you cannot have that” you go for a simple alternative-like go bud if you’re actually hungry then you’ll eat something that’s not sugar even tho we know it’s what you actually want.
I wish my parents instilled healthy habits like this consistently when I was young. My dad said if I eat too much I'll be overweight and never taught me about making healthy choices and now hates that I'm overweight and have an eating disorder as an adult. Teaching your kids about weight manangement starts from this point, frim small children, giving them healthy snacks and teaching them about portions control without bringing "weight" into it. Nice job, mom ❤️
OH my this new generation of parents better turn out like this woman! I think her style and gentle approach to parenting is urgently needed. I think everyone should inherit this style of parenting. My mother was very very similar, and I will be forever grateful.
That's why I love being around when my sister brings her kids. I will shut down my mother and be evil Tia if I have to be, my poor sister is doing her best and it's always nice to do my part. 😌
You sound like a great mom, I didn’t get treated like that because whenever I asked for a snack I got told no; and when I asked “why” they would say, “stop talking back.”
Are negative comments deleted? I’m impressed how many positive comments there are. Happy to see that there isn’t anybody body shaming or food, shaming comments. ❤
The “who even are you” struck home! Once when my oldest was 3, expressed concern with what we were eating for dinner. My dad IMMEDIATELY said, “oh, he doesn’t like it, make him something else.” This, from the man who made me sit at the table until nine o’clock because I wouldn’t eat the green beans!
watching this person always makes me feel so happy. It’s like, there are WORDS for what makes parents like this so amazing!! She illustrates so well what the difference between being “soft” and being “good” is, and why not only do you not need to be “soft” to be a good parent who raises children who listen to themselves, but also how being “soft” can be harmful. I feel so grateful to have a mom like this and sometimes it’s hard to explain to my friends who don’t like their parents but think that’s normal why NO, parents actually aren’t supposed to be vaguely OR specifically traumatic, those aren’t the only two options…… also just the “there are GOOD parents out there!!! my mom isn’t just some amazing one-in-a-trillion human being!! there are people out there who actually wanted to have children!!” vibes 😌
My Grandmere RUINED chocolate for me, in adulthood.... "Oh, she'll love it!"..... Godiva Chocolate Seashell. .....anyone that's had it, knows what I'm talking about. Your first chocolate is the one that makes you go O.O & it's a beloved childhood memory....& mine is a Godiva seashell from grandmere
I think it's nice to understand that gentle parenting doesn't mean let ur children walk all over u it's be firm and understanding of ur kids because there still growing
Oh I love people are knowing food is morally neutral but they misuse it all the time. Children are pleasure seekers and they need us to show them balance. I love how you acknowledged the misuse and corrected it.
This is kind of how my mom was. “You’re hungry and it’s not time yet or I’m almost done…there is a bag of apples and some carrots in the fridge”. To this day I keep a bag of apples in my fridge.
Literally my mother as a nan. We didn’t have lunchables when I was a kid, even in packed lunches. And yet my niece gets toast and a lunchable pulled out for her every time she comes over, wth?
Omg you made me feel like not a terrible mom. Because I'm always like this with my own mom and son. I'm always telling him to give his tummy a moment for things to settle and then offering healthy things if he's still hungry as a snack. I have this same fight with my mother. Thank you for making me feel less like a bad mom. 🥰
I love your page. I hate when people think that gentle parenting is just non-confrontational pushover. It’s about just not being an little sh*t to your child! It’s stating the facts in a respectful way. The child doesn’t need food, but needs to also understand why!
My mom always said that, "if they're hungry, they'll eat". and she applied that to if I had already had food, or if I hadn't eaten yet. I always remembered this when I took care of other people's kids because it made me not stress about them not wanting to eat when they were supposed to (unlike a lot of their parents lol)
It doesn’t matter what time we stop by grandma’s and grandpa’s, my kids ask for food like I haven’t fed them in weeks. Grandma of course is more than happy to provide them with snacks, treats, cookies, etc…
Went to my grandma's. She tried to give my daughter an oreo. I said no as she just had some right before we came over. 20mins later my grandpa gets home and immediately gives her an oreo. They are ridiculous and I love them.
*Grape comment was the best, like a novel I read where food was scarce they wrote "hunger flavored it better than any icing could".. anything when hungry is delicious*
I wholeheartedly believe in your approach! Some ppl mistake it with “almond mom” behavior, when sometimes, it’s not. My mom didn’t taught me so as a kid i’d eat 5 of those small chip bags not realizing it means i need a meal 🙈 now i know to eat just one or leave the bag for snack time!
Left my toddler with his dad at his grandma's for the first time without me.... Toddler never puked once in his life...puked on his way home all over himself and car seat. While Dad FINALLY gained a valuable lesson of telling Grandma no to snacks, by cleaning up a pukey panicking toddler, guess who still had to do the laundry and clean the car seat........🙄
This is so the opposite of my grandma. She wasn't a baker, so she'd get our favorite fruits. Frozen grapes as a snack are super fun. And my grandma would always get me strawberries and cut them up and put a lil sugar on them, and she'd have oranges, so my brother and I could make fresh squeezed orange juice with her old glass juicer. And my grandma and I would eat sweet corn together after shucking it on the porch. Obviously there were sweets and store bought cookies in the house, but my grandma never pushed or suggested them, they were just there in the snack drawer if we wanted something sweet and indulgent. Great video, as always!
That was the exact conversation the other night... My toddler wanted a cookie, she knows I don't give her cookies at home at 9pm at night... But grandma does. She pointed at one box, and I gave her a cookie with less sugar in it... Grandma waited until I left the room, let my toddler pick not one, but 2 cookies 🤦♀️... Grandma was so proud of herself.
These are really helpful videos to watch. I'm not a parent yet, but I hope to foster someday, and learning these communication skills years early is really going to help me in the long run I think.
My nan and pop used to have a pantry that could feed a town. And always let us have whatever we wanted 🤣 it's one of my favorite memories of when pop was still here and nan liked in the house.
I wouldn't deny the grapes 😭 I only remember my mom buying Oreos a handful of time throughout my childhood. One of them was for my birthday cake. The best snack I had on the regular was a chocolate granola bar. Otherwise it's fruits 💀
