What if you truly hate being gay? | Specialist sexuality coach advice

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Have you ever felt like you hate being gay? It can be a difficult topic to talk about and a lot of people may feel shame about it but it’s sadly not uncommon.
Many people feel uncomfortable or distressed about being gay or LGBT and it can be difficult to find support.
This video talks about the reality that many people do hate their sexuality at times and why this can occur.
It then sets out some guidance as to what you can do if you do find yourself in this situation. If you feel you hate being gay or you hate being queer or LGBT then you are not alone.
This video suggests ways you can address these feelings and hopefully become happier and more confident.
@notdefining is a support network for anyone who has ever struggled with their orientation, identity, self confidence or gender.
We create content and mentor to help you find a place where you feel confident and fulfilled, whatever your background or identity.
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Thank you so much for being here…
#gay #lgbt #sexuality

Опубликовано:

22 сен 2024

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Комментарии : 43

@notdefining Месяц назад

To speak with me and many other like-minded people, join us on patreon.com/notdefining. For 1:1 coaching with me you can book an appointment at www.notdefining.com. To support my work and get priority replies to comments and more, click the JOIN button.

@Triumvirate888 Месяц назад

What if you hate being gay simply because of the evil involved? I've known so many gay people who were horrible, vile, loathsome, evil people. The suicide rate is off the charts. The drug addiction rates are off the charts. Almost every gay man I've ever met has been sexually abused. Nearly every lesbian I've known beats their partner or commits domestic violence against her. People often try to claim that this isn't because they are gay, but that seems to be a lie they tell themselves to avoid taking responsibility for the evil they do. And that doesn't even get into the problem of the fact that sexuality is de-humanizing you, by taking an infinitely complex person, and reducing them down to some kind of label or "identity" based on who they have sex with. If that "defines" a person, then maybe they aren't a person at all. Maybe that's why so many gay people act as if they have no soul or humanity. They've lost it, cast it aside for some identity that de-humanizes them and makes them into a category, rather than a person. I don't see how a decent person can identify as "gay" or "LGBT". Why would anybody do that? Straight people don't go around identifying as "straight", they're just people, not categories. But what do I know. I'm nobody, just some random person on the internet. Don't mind me.

@matthewchlebda3181 Месяц назад

It's SO HARD for anyone first realizing they're queer, bi, pan, fluid, gay or anywhere else on the LGBT+ spectrum. I remember how hard it was for me as a young boy realizing I was not just attracted to girls, suppressed a lot for so long. This is only my third year being fully out as a bi guy, and I don't care what people think, but boy, did I put too much value on other's opinions, which made it so hard to come out. I am sorry for anyone who is dealing with psychological hurt or pain with this, you are SO seen, heard and loved!

@kaseyford1490 Месяц назад

I came out to myself as Aromantic about 3 years ago but didn't really want to join the 'Pride people'. I then discovered I was Asexual and 'officially' came out to family and friends as Aroace about a year and a half later and now I'm so happy to be here 😊🏳️‍🌈

@apocalypse12345 Месяц назад

I used to hate being LGBT . I used to pray and ask god to make me normal . Now I totally accept myself but still got some internal homophobia but not like before.

@notdefining Месяц назад

Hey thanks so much for sharing your story. I’m so pleased you totally accept yourself. It can be hard but you did it.

@apocalypse12345 Месяц назад

@@notdefining شكرا

@notdefining Месяц назад

@@apocalypse12345 عفواً صديقي. معرفتش إنك كلمت عربي ❤️❤️❤️

@apocalypse12345 Месяц назад

@@notdefining اتكلم عربي واعيش بالمغرب تحياتي . لكرمكم

@notdefining Месяц назад

@@apocalypse12345 هاي جميل فرصة سعيدة حبيبي. بلد جميل. اهلاً وسهلاً في "من غير تعريف" 😍

@PokhrajRoy. Месяц назад

I’ve always seen it as others making me guilty of being myself and hating myself for it. At my core, I was very happy about who I am.

@toms5996 Месяц назад

I see you commenting in most youtube channels I follow😆 It's cool since you always come across as an intelligent guy and a guy who is also very much present in the current gay culture and who always comes with various points of view. (I especially like your commentary on booktube.)

@PokhrajRoy. Месяц назад

@@toms5996Ok that’s so sweet. Thank you so much!

@toms5996 Месяц назад

@@PokhrajRoy. ❤🇫🇮

@notdefining Месяц назад

Loving this chat. PokhrajRoy is my #1 follower. Most beloved and special.

@jamesnovotny8643 Месяц назад

I dont hate being gay, I just wish I could find my place in the oversexualized community. I went from feeling like I didn't belong in the straight world to not feeling like I belong in the gay one due to having such different morals and values than what is common. I was raised in the 'it gets better' era and unfortunately we're 16 years into adulthood and still haven't felt like I've made it there yet which sucks. I'm one of the few queer people who actually enjoyed their high school years and living in suburbia and would go back in a heartbeat just to feel connected to something again.

@fraggedlocust Месяц назад

8:00 I've been identifying with bisexual because after looking through my past experimentation and its seeming to continue to later on in my life - I definitely have some capability of same-sex attraction. However I'm also not really engaged or feel like I relate to the community at large or feel specifically attracted to same-sex people in my day-to-day life which causes me to start questioning again. Most likely still dealing with some internalized homophobia, but I can't deny that I don't really care about gender either.

@ArtAngelMouse Месяц назад

I've just been very fortunate that I was very naive about biphobia/homophobia when I came out and I didn't thought it was serious that I needed to come out since my brother only made fun of me whenever I did "gay stuff". But now I'm very used to being exposed to homophobia constantly lol....I'm used to being challenged, always got exposed to people treating me like garbage and made fun of me anyways. Luckily I have came out on the stronger end, using these challenges to motivate me to become a better person. LGBT+ people are normal. We just don't live in a LGBT+ friendly world, the hate is unjustified and its sad the hate can be internalized. I went through an internalize biphobia phase because apparently its a part of SO OCD intrusive thoughts. Its why those of us out should at least consider helping other LGBT+ people. Being in these spaces really helps. I heard about the Rainbow Railroad recently and its amazing to hear about these nonprofit organizations. I should learn more about these resources and organizations.

@JJ_TheGreat Месяц назад

7:04 What about us having the fear of anyone else finding out that we are anything other than straight? And also, from a mental health standpoint, belittling our self-esteem for ourself - and thinking that we are worthless?…

@johanvanderwesthuizen5292 Месяц назад

You are love by lots of people who don't even know you Love yourself and things work out itself . Don't forget you are doing well I am being gay for 6o years and still going strong . People of different walks of life like you or not like you . Life your life to the fullest ❤❤❤❤

@carlorizzo827 Месяц назад

ThankU! Like how you explain. My resistance to self acceptance is astonishing. I hate being bi. We have 2 stigmas. Of being homo. But then in gay environments there's considerable hostility to bi. It would be easier to be monosexual. It would be easier to be asexual. I have no idea what's easier....

@notdefining Месяц назад

Hey thanks for saying. I hear you and feel you completely. You’re not alone. It’s okay to feel resistance. You’re doing great. Keep going.

@elaiws4834 14 дней назад

Being gay is such a lonely and depressing experience Never having a boyfriend or a real relationship. No friends whatsoever. Just downloading the occasional dating app and endless scrolling until you find someone you find cute. And Eventually I’d hook up with him but that’s the closest I can get to having a connection with a guy. Feeling insecure going on Instagram seeing the gays that look like Greek gods and have it all. Kind of random post here but I just needed to vent.

@notdefining 14 дней назад

You are always welcome to vent here. I hear you and feel every word. I know it can be so tough. Sending so much love to you. ❤️

@michaeljohndennis2231 Месяц назад

I know that a lot of traditional (Pre-Vatican II) Catholics in particular see homosexuality as being incompatible with their faith and they even regard the homosexual orientation as being mortally sinful, nor even discussing “occasions of mortal sin” even if not acted upon - anytime the topic is brought up, people are told to “grow up” and to do “penance” to “cure” the orientation - some traditional Catholic parents whose children come out as gay to them see their child as being under demonic possession and they approach their parish priest for an Excorism

@panthersworld5587 Месяц назад

My last semester of high school I've actually made a classmate that was gay I heard this back story about it not much acceptance from the family live mostly with his dad he was never afraid to express his homosexuality but this year I've been talking less and less to him keeps on associating with my ex pretty much nearly out of my life at this point

@notdefining Месяц назад

Hey thanks for sharing I appreciate it

@Aroundhere185 Месяц назад

Oppression is bad. Just the thought can hurt you. I used to think I was gay, than bi, than once I stopped caring I found I was straight as an arrow. I had family members that were so homophobiclly abusive that the thought of even being remotely queen of any kind was frightful and caused anxiety. I couldn't imagine if I had actually been bi or gay what it would been like around those people.

@PokhrajRoy. Месяц назад

Ok but I saw a tweet on this topic and then this video dropped. Wow what timing!

@notdefining Месяц назад

Alignment 🩷🔥🙏🏽

@akirahimurakinakiyama99 Месяц назад

I don’t hate myself for being gay. I consider myself lucky honestly being close to men is the best thing I could ever do as a guy in my position, and I see value and beauty in men

@serunaitoni2388 26 дней назад

I hate hate hate!!! Being this way and every other straight guy out their is jst a walking reminder of everything that is wrong with my life. If u ask me wud u be straight for a day hell in a heart beat! if it means to minimize the level of persecution i had to go through all those years. Traumatizing!!!

@notdefining 25 дней назад

I hear you. Thank you for expressing this. I really felt what you’re going though.

@toms5996 Месяц назад

I think I might be an outlier(?) since I've never cared. I was happily living in the Uni in a family unit with my then partner. My attitude has continued to this day. Being open in the workplace and everywhere. Perhaps I'm somewhat 'straight-passing'(?) But I've never cared. Granted I do acknoledge that being in the Nordics might have helped me somewhat - but I've lived openly in Utah, Germany and Lithuania as well. Edit: I might've come across obstacles and 'silent' homophobia. I only cared about it once - when a visiting colleague from an Eastern European country laughed at my face when at company dinner I was telling about my fishing pursuits. It didn't affect me but it was such a poignant moment since it showed me that homophobic weirdos exist in this world.

@notdefining Месяц назад

Hey thanks so much for sharing

@TheTorturedRaven Месяц назад

I'm a bi guy and I have some of it too

@wareforcoin5780 Месяц назад

I love being bi, but I'd like to know how to comfort someone else if they feel that way. My circle of LGBT+ friends grows, and I don't know what I'd say if they confessed hating not being straight.