Kari the Mortician has used the term Casket Crawler in many videos. She gives an overview of what this term means. @KaritheMortician kari@Karinorthey.com www.karinorthey.com
When my grandson passed away...my daughter was begging to hold him just one more time. He was small so the funeral director lifted him out and allowed my daughter to hold him at the end of the service.Talk about heart wrenching.....a child's funeral is horrible to have to go through.
God bless that funeral director for doing that for your daughter; it sure it meant a lot to her. Parents should NEVER have to bury their kids whether they're 2 or 20.
My daughters friend lost her baby to SIDS. She was so distraught , that when it came time to leave the funeral home , she started to pick up , and take the baby ! She caught herself , and just broke down . So awful to witness such pain !
My parents both died of covid this past winter. My youngest brother is only 21 and he couldn’t look at my mom in her casket. I told him at the end of the service to please say goodbye and look at her before I closed her casket (she looked like a beautiful, peaceful angel) and he laid on her sobbing. I can’t get that image out of my head.
My mother bullied me into looking at my dad in his coffin. She later asked if I wasn't glad I saw him. My answer: No, because now I remember him dead. It was horrible to me because he died unexpectedly while I was out of the state and I had remembered our last hug and "see you later".
My 17 year old nephew died suddenly in 2020. I can't shake the picture of his 19 year old brother, my other nephew, laid half across the coffin just sobbing into his dead brothers chest for hours while I rubbed his back because his poor parents were too checked out on their grief to even move from their seats... My poor Dante though.. His life long best friend just gone in an instant. I'm so sorry for everything your family has gone through. Death is so hard. Sounds like you're a really great big sister though. ❤
How true!! My aunt hugged her son ( who had died) like a real hug. She wrapped her arms around him & his body came up from the casket, I remember his hair even moved, it was so sad, he was about 18 years old.. Today if your bady dies the hospital let's you hold it and even put a outfit on & take pictures.. so different from back in the day, 30 years ago they didn't let you see the baby.. maybe the got to see to confirm the death, but mother's were sheltered.. peace to those who are in grief.. take your time & be kind to yourself death is so hard & speaking for myself I still some days break down really missing my mom.. God bless
Well luckily you’ve never been to an Italian wake... I’ve seen a woman try to jump in with her deceased husband She actually disturbed the body and moved it out of place The funeral director was not happy. People grieve differently.. Let’s be mindful of that ...
I actually witnessed this when I was @12-13 yrs old. One of my classmates had drowned in the creek and being a very small school, they cancelled classes the day of his funeral. Nearly the entire village showed up. Towards the end of the service, his poor mother just broke and tried to get in with him. The sound and the sight of that is still so clear, 40 years later. It is the saddest thing I've ever seen.
I was a casket crawler once. But i was 7 so i didn't know any better. All i knew was my grandpa was in there and i was going with him. Yep!! Everyone freaked out and some even cried. It took them a few minutes to make me understand that i couldn't go with papa. I'll never forget it. Thankfully i didn't knock it over but everyone moved really fast... Oops
My father made my younger bro n I kiss my dead grandfather's forehead w a handkerchief on it...I almost passed out over him out of sheer terror and my bro had to be taken home he was so traumatized...we were 14 n 12 yo...never been to a wake b4 and we freaked out
@@dianesorokac2260 aw bless your hearts❤️ I can just imagine how traumatising that would have been at that tender age, I was traumatised and petrified seeing my granny and I was about 20 at the time! I would have probably passed out had I been 12. I think it completely depends on the child and kind of parents they have as to whether visiting their deceased loved one would be beneficial to them and whether they can handle it or if it would do more harm than good. I think for some children if they have it fully explained to them and are thoroughly prepared before hand it can be helpful for them to view their loved one as it helps them understand that they are gone and helps them make sense of death but I think it completely depends on the kind of parents you have and whether they can openly talk about death and be prepared to answer any questions the child has, for me my parents weren't open about the topic of death at all in fact I think they were scared of it and scared to talk about it themselves and there's no way they would have answered my questions surrounding death and dying as a child so i know for me had I viewed a grandparent as a child I'd have been completely traumatised and probably wouldn't have slept again! I'm from the UK where we're just generally very bad at talking about and dealing with death, I wish we could be more open about the subject and it wasn't so taboo, after all it's something we'll all experience and Is the only guarantee in life!
My parents drowned together when I was 14. My Daddy's casket was closed due to the length of time to recover his body, but right before they were going to close my Mother's casket, my Grandmother ran over to her and fell over her body and tried to lift her up. The mournful sounds she made was heartbreaking. I was horrified because of how I felt about death. I didn't want to see my mother dead..
How traumatic for you losing both parents & then seeing your grandma's grief like that. I can't imagine...& at that age. You've had a tough start. I hope you are doing well now.
@@karenmessinger9609 It's still strange to me how I never grieved the way I think I should have. I didn't allow myself to think about it. It must have been a way to just survive such a terrible shock. My brother was 16 and I think it helped that we had each other, plus our mother came from a large, close family that took us in. I just sort of drifted through life. Several years ago, I worked with a very good friend who was a psychologist. She thought I should still have some therapy, but I never wanted to be taken back in time to live through that again. I'm sure that we'll be re-united at some point.
My Granny was a wise woman from the mountains and said family takes care of its own. When my mom passed ( she was living with us due to many strokes, each stroke took a little more away from mom, it broke my heart seeing this for her) when we got to the funeral home I told them, I want to groom her before anyone sees her. She is mine , she brought me into this world and it is the last thing I can do for her. They allowed it, as I fixed her hair and makeup like she liked it I talked with her, got my children evolved with picking out Nanny’s going to Heaven outfit ( they were young then ) and explained family takes care of its own. Let them know she took care of me, she helped take care of them and while when she stated having strokes we talked before I jumped right in and brought her home.. of course they all voted to bring Nanny to our home, it had always been hers to we felt. It was a peaceful calming experience where all of their questions were answered and they got to spend private time for grieving and helping their Nanny be sent to heaven looking her best. I know she was smiling at them. When dad passed , we did the same.. my sons were then men with families of their own.. they even helped bury their Grandpa and the youngest put his arms around me and said family takes care of its own I missed my father and grieved greatly but that day I realized my sons were amazing men! So I believe families could gain a lot of emotional help in caring for their loved ones. Most funeral homes of asked can we dress/ groom / or have a private moment with their loved one without others will allow it.
My Mom passed in February and my oldest daughter did her hair and makeup. I offered to go with her, but she is a tough one and she wanted to go by herself. She isn't a beautician, but wanted to make her Grandma look pretty. She succeeded.
When my Mom passed away the funeral home allowed me unlimited time with her during a private viewing before the wake and they allowed me to touch her and I just looked, talked and sat with her. I think this made me more comfortable and put me at ease for the wake and funeral.
I did that with my Aunt before they embalmed her in a little room with a sheet over her. It was hard but being able to hug her neck, hold her, touch her face and hands was in comforting. My mom (her sister) died when I was 17 and she and I became very close after my mom’s death.
I had less than an hour with my mom but the man who took care of her cut some of her grey silver hair for me. I thought it was beautiful (even if she didn't).
My Aunt died... She was my favorite person... I loved her very much and I miss her so dearly... I laid on her and cried a lot while she was in her casket... I kissed her as much as I could as I knew those were the las t of them 😥... I tried to be as respectful as possible as not to traumatize family and friends who were paying their final respects... Its was most difficult to see the casket close and I pray that she rests in eternal peace now. 💔
I've been a RN in the ER for 21 years now. I've seen my fair share of deaths, both natural causes & tragic, traumatic, unplanned/unforeseen ones. As a nurse in the ER our role is to contact what we call CORE in my state (Center for Organ Recovery & Education), provide postmortem care such as moistening the eyes with lubricant & taping them shut, cleaning any blood or body fluids off, toe tagging, putting the person in a body bag, finding out what funeral home the family wants to use, notifying the ME, contacting the persons doctor to sign the death certificate, putting the person in what we refer to as a morgue cart, & then taking them to the morgue as long as they are NOT an organ donor. We are also required to elevate the head of the morgue cart at least 30° so that blood doesn't pool in certain areas. Every single time that I take a patient there I pause for a moment & think to myself, "we live our entire lives with purpose & working hard to have nice things such as a nice home, a nice family, a savings account, etc., but no matter what walk of life you're from the end result is always the same. You end up naked, dead, cold, & stacked on top of other naked strangers!
Thats shows me that we are all equal no one is more.important than another and death will have its way in the end!! We will go to the grave,or we will be raptured out, either way God controls it all!!! Dont ever be deceived into thinking that you are exempt from the appointment to come,live for God every second,because He may come n gather in what belongs to Him at any second
I came to that conclusion a long time ago. When we're alive, wealth, posessions, our race, our position in life, religion, fame, etc. Separate us. But when we die--we are all in the same boat.
When I was a teenager, I witnessed a friend try ALL these & his father & brother literally had to carry him outside before the casket flipped over. (4 friends had gone swimming & she went under...he kept diving for her until he passed out & they barely got him out) At 16 yrs old, it was a soul shaking experience. ..48 now but seems just like yesterday. But I never knew the term til now. I feel enlightened!
@@KaritheMortician One of the saddest things I’ve still ever seen. It was a small town but a giant lesson none of us forgot...NEVER drink any kind of alcohol while swimming in the river!!! ! (Or anywhere else for that matter) I wasn’t there when it happened & afterwards I realized I had a few friends living a faster life than I was ready for. My circle of friends got a lot smaller. Sorry that got long!
Of course you were beside yourself. Those that mourn have every right to show their grief, their love. As you did. I think the names for those who mourn are a disgrace. I see nothing humorous about a broken heart. I won't be watching her channel again. These people make a fortune on people who are devastated by the loss of their loved one. This is what they really say about the mourners. I believe they have other names and they are truly cruel. Show Miss Compassion what you really think about her, "industry and the horror of how it runs....UNSUBSCRIBE. GOD BLESS YOU ALL 🙏
I used to watch “Wrestling with Death” on one of the DirecTV channels. It was about a family of morticians who participated in WWE wrestling events in their spare time. I thought it was a great show and a good documentary on the day to day activities of a mortician and the operations of a funeral home. But it was cancelled.
I never missed a single episode of the show. The funeral industry is, and has always been, a complete mystery to me, as has death. I can't fathom doing all that has to be done to a person's body before burial. It gives me cold chills. I know that the person can't feel it, but it's just so brutal...cutting, poking, prodding the most intimate parts of one's body. That's why I've chosen cremation.
I fell to my knees at the visitation for my son. I had to be taken home before people started showing up. Same with the funeral. I fell to my knees at my son's open casket. They got me a chair to sit next to him. As I walked out of the funeral behind his casket I kept walking and had my sister take me home. Steven was going to be cremated so he went from funeral to crematory. I wasn't there for that. I barely remember anything. I was pretty drugged up. I had to wear sunglasses inside because my eyes were almost swollen shut. I'm 5 years into this journey and I hate it!!!!!
God bless you. The death of any loved one is overwhelming, but one's own child goes above and beyond my comprehension. My sons are grown men with families now, but in one part of my heart, they're still the precious little boys their Dad and I raised. I pray several times a day for their health, their safety and a strong relationship with their Maker. No matter what life throws at me, I can make it, with them in my world. When my parents drowned, I think I just shut down. I barely cried and have never had the 'closure', which I don't believe exists. To keep your sanity, you have to learn a new way of living.
God bless you, God bless you!!!!! I couldn’t, and probably wouldn’t survive such earthly torment as losing one of my children. Bless you. Oh Jesus. 😢😢😢 Biggest hugs.
@@lindahandley5267 my son was the passenger in his friends car. Shouldn't have went out. It was near blizzard conditions. I wouldn't have let them leave had I known. I was asleep. The car slid on the ice. Went over the creek with no guardrails and fell in. It landed on the tailgate, then that broke. The car landed upside down. They both had drown. He left behind his then 2.3 year old son. It will be 6 years on February 13th. They were found by a search party on Valentines day February 14th. I lost my parents 11 days apart. The agony of losing my son has taken away most of my grief for them, on to a level I didn't know existed. I had to be in the hospital then mental hospital because I just wanted to make sure he was OK. I know that he's happy and surrounded by love. I just wish I could be with him. 💔💔💔💔💔💔 They installed guardrails within 3 weeks. 3 weeks to. late for us. I'm sorry for your lose. I also pray everyday for my other children and my sweet grandson. Steven's Legacy. ❤️💙
I never did that or would want to do that, but i do recall a strange seething hate for the people who were there to actually lower and bury my grandfather! Like how dare or how could they do that! I obviously didn’t act in any way and sit back and almost laugh at it now! Grief hits everyone differently and it’s a powerful emotion!!
I find myself still after 8 years of my wife being gone continually talking about her and usually unknowingly that I do it, to strangers, old friends or Doctors... I feel the need to tell them about my love for some reason. I realize it after the fact like, They could care less, Why am I still bringing her up. Deep inside I still need that Emotional Hug and Caring Spirit from someone, but still haven't found that person. I hope time does heal, at this point I still hurt.
I loved watching this!!!! I have been a funeral director for the last 35 years and when I saw the term "casket crawler" and just smiled. I have worked a lot of services and depending on the situation you can almost pick a person or persons that will do this. Enjoyed this video!!!!
Years ago a woman in our town tragically lost her teenage son in a car accident. Word got around that before people arrived for the viewing she had actually lifted his upper body in the casket just enough to hold him in her arms one last time. Absolutely heart wrenching.
Yeah - mom died in 1990. We were invited up as they were getting ready to close the casket - and I flung my glasses off my face and went in to give her a kiss on the forehead.... I didn't know what I was doing - but my hands were on the open side of the casket..... and people on both ends where holding on for all it was worth to keep the casket from tipping over on me..... I didn't even know that I was doing all that. Grief is real.....
bless your heart💓 I can completely empathise with and imagine being that bereft and overcome with grief. people who are overcome with grief are not thinking logically and People should not judge, they should comfort them
And this is one of the reasons why at some funerals cemeteries wait until the family leaves before the casket is lowered into the ground... Otherwise someone would attempt to jump in the hole with the deceased.
This made me emotional just watching Kari demonstrate. Some people are very overwhelmed at funerals. My mother said her uncle tried to take his 21 year old son out of the casket. He’d been poisoned to death by “friends.”
@@Sssssssslf I don’t find it amusing. I understand grief. We all grieve differently. I hyperventilated when my Dad passed away, two days after he passed. And again a week after the funeral after all the family support left.
@@kathystay1078 it is amusing when the person is not grief stricken but instead is jealous of the attention the deceased is getting and they are not getting. My aunt does this at funerals and it is all for the drama of it. She is a drama queen and everything has to be about her, even someone else's death. It is sickening to see her pull that crap with relative after relative. The really sad part is that her funeral will be sparse when her time comes because she has made so many enemies with her drama queen antics. It will probably just be her husband and daughter, if even them.
My 2 month old Granddaughter passed away this past January. I wouldn't have, but oh how I wanted to pick her up out of that tiny little casket and just rock her one more time.
@@KaritheMortician When we were at the funeral home making arrangements, we asked if we could hold her then and they said we could come back a couple of days later as they were working on her. They also told us once she was placed in the casket, we couldn't because it could do something to the body? Maybe the makeup? I just don't remember why. When we went to see her 2 days later, they had her swaddled and in a blanket and a hat on her. Hat I assume because they didn't want us to see her autopsy scar. 4 days after that was her funeral and she looked so precious in the little dress we picked out for her, I just wanted to hold her again but knew we weren't allowed to.
Oh, I’m so very sorry! That must have been so very hard! I just can’t even imagine! I’m so sorry for your entire family, having to endure such an incredible loss. I’ve lost a great niece, who was born extremely early, and several cousins at very young ages, and 3 neighbors lost their little boys tragically, all around the same very young age a few years back, but again, I just can’t comprehend..So very sorry for your loss.
Separation of a loved one, through death, is probably the most traumatic thing we experience in life and can make people totally lose control of reason. So sad to hear about these instances. Thank you for a very measured explanation of these incidents.
I remember my grandmother being a “crawler” back in ‘66 when my grandfather died. Back in those days the deceased were laid out for several days. Quite an experience...
When my daughter passed & I saw her in her casket it took every oz of my resilience not to climb into her casket & die with her. The grief, shock & trauma is so horrible that I understand why people do that. They are overcome with such profound pain & I get it.
Things have changed over the years that's for sure. I've seen people during visitations facetiming with the deceased being shown while kids (8 or 9 yrs old) are hovering over grandpa poking at his nose, mouth, eyes. Nothing wrong with touching a loved one usually, but have respect for goodness sake.
My Aunt Doe Doe (real name ) lept onto her father's body in the casket , and they both came tumbling down- hard -my grandfather came out of the casket , onto the floor, and everyone went nuts. This is the same funeral where my Dad's car died and he got a jump from the limo. Polish funerals...you have to love them !
Who would have thunk there would be another out there with an Aunt Dodo! Her real name is Doris, but when I was little it was to hard to pronounce. She’s always been Dodo - to this day.
Here’s one for you that I’ve heard local long-timers tell: Back in the 1960s, there was the sudden death of a young man in a car wreck. It was hard enough for his young wife. But imagine the scene when the woman he was cheating with tried to climb into the casket with him, in front of his wife, their families, and friends. Can you imagine? I don’t even want to.
Saw this once, the girl friend was bent over the man kissing him, telling him how much she loved him. The wife's mother pulled her back and popped her up side of the head. She left in a hurry.
Hands down one of your best “Two Minutes” yet! Casket Crawlers is a very familiar term here in North Carolina! Some of our Southern Belles can be a little predisposed to drama and a quite bereft by their grief. 😉
Yes indeed! My aunt nearly fell into the open grave with my grandmother when she collapsed onto the coffin. We North Carolinians are quite passionate about everything!
I can understand if It is a parent, spouse or close family member, but sometimes friends and acquaintances want to steal the show, especially if it is someone really popular. The drama can get a little out of hand.
I was at the funeral of a child. Her death was partially the mom's negligence in not watching her kids. We all knew the situation. She casket crawled a bit, had never seen it before. Every heart in the place just broke for her.
I also went to the funeral of a 3 year old. He drowned in a freak accident. He slipped to the bottom of a hot tub while Mom and Grandpa were sitting on the steps right next to him. Everyone suffered from regrets and why didn't I, and what if. The father, whom Mom and Dad were separated, was Phillipino and when him and his Mom came to funeral his Mom touched baby all over but dad casket crawled almost all the way and nearly knocked it off it's stand. Last month I just went to a fairly young Pawpaw of 8 grandkids and 1, 11 years old tried to pull him up and stop "joking around". And lastly years ago there was a school shooting. My niece was within 10 feet of the shooter and has forever since been kinda PTSD from it. There was 1 girl that was killed and her Mom tried to climb in as the casket was lowered. Sorry my entry is long...I've been to too many funerals in my life I think 🤔.
I can understand that grief for some people is overwhelming. When my mom died (I was 15) we stood at the graveside as they lowered her coffin into the grave. My grand mother stood between my Father and I and was so overcome seeing her youngest daughter in the grave that she fainted. My Father caught her or she would have fallen into the grave! However to witness what you just described? It must be traumatic for funeral home staff as well as those paying their respects. The last thing anyone wants is the casket on the floor and poor old grandpa on the floor and mourners seeing that his smart suit has been cut at the back and tucked in around him. I hope for everyone's sake this doesn't happen very often. Very interesting "Two Minutes on"
Steve w: Steve, thank you for the laugh. I swear. I was like I can see this might be getting funny as I was reading it. My gosh. Anyway, you said very good things and your respect to all people involved was right on. I'm sure they have seen a lot. I'm glad your grandmother didn't fall and your dad was right there and what a quick thinking man he is!
Kari: Steve w: My cousins friend who is a lawyer went to visit his moms grave. It had rained the day before and throughout the night. That day we went walking up to her grave and he fell in. He went down in mud right to where the arms are attached to the shoulder. He couldn't get out. He was stuck. He managed to get one arm out and he was yelling for help and waving for a good 20 minutes. Some guy taking care of the grounds heard him and got him out.
@@nd612 must have been a traumatic experience. As a lawyer maybe he can encourage the people who run the cemetery to do some maintenance to stop things like this happening to others! A few years ago we had floods and bodies buried many years ago (they were just bones) were disinterned when a sloping burial area collapsed. Caused quite a stir but there was no danger to people. It was an old cemetery not many people visited graves there and the bodies had been in the ground for at least 50 years some much longer and were just bones. A rain storm no matter how heavy shouldn't really cause a grave to collapse like that!
In Tennessee family of the deceased and everyone else are strongly encouraged to leave the grave when the body is lowered and covered with soil. In fact burial is not completed till everyone is gone.
I don't know if I can even being so distraught, that I'd attempt to become a Casket Crawler. BUT, I do understand that overwhelming grief can cause people to do some "crazy" things, in order to find some comfort. I find it interesting that it happens enough for the industry to give it a phrase, and recognize various techniques when it's attempted.
there was a funeral in a small town where I live and while in the Church a member of her religion when up to the casket and yelled RIse sister sue. She actually thought she could rise her from the dead.. So scarry.
My husband's aunt died at her father's funeral (my husband's grandfather). He said she screamed and passed out. She died at the church from a heart attack. What a sad way to go and the grief of burying two family members within a weeks time.
Wow! She was so sad she died from a broken heart. 💔 It seems to be a real thing in couples and sometimes parent-child relationships. They just can't live without that person.
I lived Nextdoor to a family Mother and her 3 son’s she died of old age and at her funeral her son died then at his funeral the 2nd son/brother died The remaining son died in his yard not long after We all said the neighbors they had live together their whole lives and they died one right after the other
I did that ..i lost my brother and I worshipped him ..not like God but he was my love ..and I cried on his chest ...my tears were on the black leather vest he was buried in and I was hyperventilating....i didn't crawl in I just didn't get to see him alive before he died..it was horrible and I still cry at times ..he passed January 9 of 1999
Hi Kathy. It's unfortunate that people don't seem to understand or care that their loved one is NOT in the casket! I know it's difficult to explain to relatives that the spirit of the deceased has left the body. You're hugging the shell that held the person.
When I was about 16 (50 years ago and still have memory that’s vivid) my cousin tried to jump in the casket if her husband. He went fir a check up and came home saying all good then died in a moment of a massive heart attack! Think the sudden death caused her action. Very sad.
Maybe that's why we need more home funerals. People can hold their loved ones as much as they want without disturbing others that way. Maybe even directors can go to houses to help manage the bodies if the family can't themselves. I think that'd be a good compromise.
I agree. People used to take care of the person themselves. Bathe them, talk to them & I think it helped with them actually getting the opportunity to say goodbye. I think it would truly help a lot of people.
My 90 yo mother said that it was typical to lay out the deceased in the home, in her small town in NJ, when she was growing up. It was also customary to take pictures of the deceased to make into postcards to send back to the old country and as a remembrance.
@@karlkascha1261 ~ My grandfather who died in a railroad accident when my dad was 2 (1932), had been laid out at his home. I also know that Thomas Funeral Home took care of the arrangements. I'm wondering if the visitation was at his house, and the day of the funeral was at the funeral home? Dad told me that when his daddy was in the casket in their living room, grandma picked him (daddy ) up to peek in the casket to say goodbye, but instead my dad said "wake up daddy...see my new suit....wake up...mommy made this new suit for me"😥
We had one at my step-grandpa's funeral. Keep in mind he was a shy quiet man who liked to NOT associate with people. His sister invited her entire church and they came in wailing and sobbing and some big ole girl (that none of us had ever met) tried to get in there with him and was kissing his face and getting lipstick all over him.. I thought my grandma was going to pass out and I had to take her home after that traumatic dramatic performance by the crazy lady. I have never been so angry in my life as when that happened. Why on earth do people do this???
Ive been to alot of funerals in my life and have never seen this. In fact, most people are just the opposite that Ive seen. They dont want to touch the person at all
I can actually imagine someone with unbearable grief wanting to not close the casket after viewing.This would be their last good bye and they can’t imagine that at all
This is what I think of too... I don't think I would be a casket crawler.. however I haven't yet lost someone that I would want to crawl into a casket with.... I don't know how I would react if It were
I got very very upset when my father was brought to the front of the chapel the casket was closed and my dad was always very claustrophobic and even though I knew he was gone it freaked me out...
@Cracker pie aka lulu Viewing is very hard. My mother has also passed away but we were not very close so my dad was DEFINITELY the hardest. Im going to be cremated. I want to swim with the dolphins....
I have a confession, my aunt is a casket crawler. At my grandfather's funeral when they were closing the casket she ran up and tried to climb in, my dad whispered to my mom that he wished they would close her in with him. He was not really fond of his half sister. At the cemetery she also tried to climb in the grave with him and my dad was like where is the grave digger so we can get this filled in before she climbs out. This same woman demanded to go to my mom's funeral and my mom did not like her at all. She then made a big fuss over how how much she will miss my mom and how they were best friends. She tried to take all attention off of my mom and on to her.
Kari... The first funeral I went to was for a high school friend who was killed when his corvette went head in into a tree... This was in the 70's. The funeral was LONG... a Greek Orthodox service. The entire time his poor mother s reamed "PAULY COME BACK TO ME!!!" It was so sad and everyone in the packed church was crying. They had his casket open the entire way and propped up so we could all see him. Near the end, his mother started SCREAMING!!! And she jumped over to the coffin trying to pry him out... The coffin fell over: half on top of his back and she stayed with his upper half for what seemed like an hour while Paul's father tried to pull him off and other men trying to get everything else back in order. It was the single most heart-wrenching scene I have ever witnessed. So many odd funerals I've been to... I just want to go away quietly... and cremated. I'm wondering if you would rather be buried or cremated??
Maybe I'm weird but when dad died and I saw him in the casket I saw him for about 10 seconds from 2 feet away and then went to sit down in the chapel, and I was the closest one to dad from my siblings. I don't know why it just didn't feel like him, I didn't my last memory of him being lying in a metal box. I have so many better memories of him, taking him out to eat, going over to his house to watch football and boxing matches and BBQs. Those memories will always be in my mind over that horrible funeral
I don’t think that’s weird at all. Lots of people would rather not view the body because they feel as you do; remembering the good times and what they were like and not having that last memory of lifelessness. Besides, as a Christian, we know they are not there in the body and their spirit is with Christ (if the decedent was a believer too). That in and of itself is a reason we don’t grieve as others do, like the Apostle Paul said, because to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord.
@@KaritheMortician I did and another man. The estranged ex wife was so strung out out pills that is was awful. The casket almost toppled over. It turned out to be the circus funeral. Lol. The funeral home said if they had it on video they could have put it on AFV funniest home videos. The funeral home put in cameras to record videos a month afterwards. Haha from the death till burial was really a circus. I will have to tell you some time. I always enjoy your videos! Thanks so very much for doing these. Also tell the hubby and kiddos thank you for giving us some of their time so we can have some knowledge and enjoyment. Have a great week!!!
A friend of the family wouldn’t let the funeral staff close her grandfather’s coffin. My mom had to interfere. Here in Brazil we do not embalm and temperatures are generally high, so if they say it’s time to go, it really is time to go. Pretty sad.
My grandma passed away in October, 4 days after her 99th birthday. No one casket crawled, but I don't judge anyone who does (if it's out of grief, not for attention) because grief affects everyone differently. I'm still very sad and it hurts to know that there are things no one will ever experience again now that she's gone. I felt so angry with some of the buyers at her estate sale because it seemed like some of them only cared about the stuff and not the fact that my family lost someone who was so important to us and some went so far as to steal from us 😠 If anyone goes to estate sales, please remember that the people selling to you have lost someone close to them and be sensitive to that and have the decency to pay for what you want instead of just stealing it.
I never judged anyone for trying to be a crawler. Sometimes the grief is so deep. I thought about going to an estate sale a couple of times but as it meant that someone passed away I couldn't do it. To me it would be too sad. Some people just don't think beyond themselves & it means nothing to them that the sale is personal to the loved ones who passed away. I'm sorry people felt the need to be so disrespectful & to steal.
Some people seem to be needy, and some people are just plain greedy. I hope that Grandma will awake when Jesus Christ returns to this Earth and go home with Him to live forever. Also, I hope you will be there.
That's the reason my parent's house looks like a museum. It's loaded with very valuable antiques. I haven't moved a thing. It's just like it was when they were here. I just don't have the heart. But I do have the muscle, because I'd pop someone in the mouth for behaving that way.
My son was cremated and we didn't have a service for private reasons. (We had a service later on privately) when I went to the funeral home to go see him. He was in this tiny casket, I couldn't have casket crawled but it took everythingI had in me, to stop from grabbing him and taking him home.
Yep, seen all the types of casket crawlers every time someone dies in one branch of my family tree! The great aunts come straight in and start wailing and moaning and trying to “go with him” or pull someone out of a casket wailing that they aren’t going to let anyone take her away. It’s very entertaining.
I found your channel searching for an in depth description of what happens to the body in a cremation chamber. 6 weeks ago I may not have been ready but last night I was and since then a kind of calmness had fallen on me. My mother passed in June last year then in November my beloved husband went to sleep one night and never woke up. I'm still waiting on the coroners report. Both were cremated. I thought my world has just collapsed. When I found your channel, well it sounds morbid, but I really enjoyed your explanation of the body's progressive breakdown at cremation. I haven't stopped giggling at your how's and what's of the cremation process. The casket crawler is my 2nd look at your channel. You were made for this. I laughed through the entire clip. It's your calling! 'The Laughing Mortician' is my new phrase when I tell people to look for your channel. Thank you so much for putting a smile back on my face, albeit a morbid one. Bless you!
Grief is overwhelming and suffocating. I have lost family members, it isn't fair and i just lost my mom two weeks ago unexpectedly, i was there when it happened. It is terrible.
It's just the body (shell). Their soul is released and can most likely see you. Be happy for them. They have graduated to a better realm that is pleasing beyond human experience.
A friend used to drive part time for a livery in Toronto that supplied hearses and limos to funeral homes. He told me he arrived at a funeral home with the hearse and went inside. A fight broke out among mourners at a teenager's funeral. The mother wouldn't let the funeral director close the casket and was attempting to climb into it. A few people started fighting each other blaming others for the teen's death. Police were called to calm things down before the funeral director was able to close the casket. People DO get crazy an emotional.
My great uncle worked for a funeral home. There was a teenage boy who died and the family had no candid pictures of him . They had the staff take him out of the casket for pictures, posing with the deceased.
I kissed my mom on the cheek and while distraught, it never occurred to my family to crawl in. Never witnessed it at other funerals and that would be unforgettable.
@@KaritheMortician That's an interesting way to put it. I guess at that point the grief is so overwhelming that logic doesn't really exist. They're acting impulsively on all of their feelings.
When my sister and I were about 12 and 14, our grandmother died and our distraught mom urged us - actually demanded us - that we kiss our Nana as she lay in the casket. Though we loved our Nana to the moon and back, we were horrified inside but haltingly did it for mom. I’ll never forget how cold she was to my lips and I wish my mom hadn’t “made” us, though I get it why she did. As a Christian, I know my Nana wasn’t there any more anyway. Also I’m comforted in knowing I’ll see her again and we’ll both be well.🥰
I knew a older Like it that brought her husband home for a few days in his casket and the kids and grandkids would put Shasta sodas and his favorite candies and cookies in grandpas casket ! She said the funeral home workers came out a couple of times a day to fix his face from sagging!
I was leading a service at the crematorium before the witnessing and a number of family members were trying to tear the casket apart, and yelling, "Wake up! Wake up!"
When my mom passed away in 2000 I was 47. She was not just mom she was my friend I could tell anything to. During her viewing just as the service was getting ready to start with probably a hundred plus people seated in the church I walked up to her casket that was below the alter. I am six foot four. I put my hand on the side. leaned in and kissed her on the cheek like she always did with me. I was amazed how natural she felt. I expected her to be sort of cold and have some kind of odor but she wasn't and she didn't. She was beautiful and charming like she always was. The family mortuary our entire family has used for decades here in mesa Az were to be commended. She was exactly how she wanted.
When my stepdaughter died, they laid her out for my husband to see her before cremation. They kept telling him, don't pick her up, don't try to move her, don't try to crawl on the table. He was confused. When we got to the car , he said why would I crawl on the table with her. He only wanted to touch her hair and see her one more time. I said- OH, people do.
Kari, I have another one for you When my dad died over 20 years ago, my (jealous mother) after we had all sat down went up to my dad s casket and started to glide her hands underneath his shoulder area to “feel” what we had put underneath I assume !! My dad had lost a ring he loved but she always blamed some of us for stealing it so we came to the conclusion that she assumed whoever it was had put it back with him Hard to believe but I did have that kind of family
In 1982, my sister's husband killed my sister and my Aunt at a Pizza Parlor. At the funeral home my father fell on the floor between the two caskets, (his daughter was 28, his sister was 34) l run out of that Funeral home so fast. I felt Stark terror!
Thanks, Kari for the dramatic demonstrations; it helps me understand the various techniques of casket crawlers! I think if the casket and the body came tumbling forward it would be a funeral director's worst day ever! Then there is the traditional irish wake where the deceased shares a dance with the mourners in the wee hours; not quite as shocking but still a challenge for the FD.
In 1995 I lost my grandmother I was only 17 yrs old and it was the first funeral I ever went to when I went to the viewing at 7pm and walked up to my grandmothers casket and saw her she was Soo beautiful she looked like she was sleeping and she had a beautiful light blue dress on I wanted to crawl in the casket with her I broke down crying I cried myself to sleep that night the next day of the funeral I cried Soo hard during the whole funeral service and even at the grave site I just couldn't believe she was gone that night I laid in bed crying hard missing her now it's 2022 and to this day I miss her still 😭😭😭🌹🌹🌹
When my grandpa passed in not going to lie, I pulled a chair right next to him, and dat there til the service started. He was my best friend so, when he passed part of me died too. I was like if the people couldn't come visit him when he was alive, I didn't give a damn if I was in there way. His passing totally destroyed my heart. I was devastated then sadly we lost my grandma the following year, she grieved herself.
There was nothing wrong with the way you grieved. There are no standard rules about how grief should be expressed. We all are different. This is what makes the world go round. I hope that your grandfather will wake up to see Jesus Christ return to this Earth and go home to live with Him and afterward.
I had never heard this term until one of the earlier episodes of 'Six Feet Under'. The closest thing I've seen to this was my great uncle's grandsons 'playing with Grandpa'. All three were standing up by the casket, sticking their fingers in his ears, his nose... We nudged one of the mothers & pointed, expecting her to go up and lead them away but no, she just stood & watched saying 'yes, they're going to miss playing with Grandpa...' We were surprised they didn't tip the casket over. These weren't 'grief-stricken children', that was the granddaughter sitting in a chair off to the side sobbing her eyes out, these were little brats who needed to go across a knee.
Little brats that needed mom to go across a knee too for letting them do it & not care. How awful for him to be disrespected like that. I just don't think that qualifies as playing with grandpa in the traditional sense.
Well, I can honestly say I've never actually seen this at a funeral, thankfully. I've only seen it on TV and in the movies. That is extremely sad and distressing for the loved ones.
Hi Kari. I have one for you . Elvis Presley was in the service and he had gotten word his Mother was very sick They gave him leave soo he could go back to Memphis to see her. He was there one day and she past the very next day. They had a very close relationship. She did not want him going into the Army . Elvis got drafted and he wanted to do the right thing.When she was in the casket he tried and tried to get in .They put a piece of hard plastic over her. It was Heart wrenching to see.He never got over her dying .He talked about her all the time to his friends..Sad but True Story.
I didn't know that they actually had a term for this... When my Son passed away and it had to be a closed casket situation due to the train & they thought it best that even in my Xanax drug induced state that I NOT go in the back to see him. In some ways it was probably for the best. Honestly had I had he had been viewable at all - and I was in the back area I just might have gone out of my mind there for a bit and very possibly would've tried something like that... It would've been just too hard to put that lid down on what was my Son and only child... Not being able to see him brought about other issues as to it still not "feeling real" but I just decided to go with what they told me. I think that you had commented back to me when I had mentioned him in the comments on another video. You were both very nice, sincere and professional. Thank you for that...
I literally could not keep a straight face during this! 🤣 I can't even imagine how a funeral director would deal with people like that & especially not those who gain full body entrance inside the casket & directly on top of their loved one! I bet it's like trying to baptize a cat! 🤣
@@KaritheMortician I totally get it! I've been an ER nurse for 21 years. During that time I've seen many deaths, most always traumatic & unexpected. You have to build that wall in order to be able to keep going without emotionally falling apart.
lol I probably was a "casket crawler" when I was in the crematory saying goodbye to my love. It did cross my mind to climb into the repository, but I just patted the box, held his daughter as she pressed the button, and then watched the temp climb on the display. I wanted to stay longer, but it was a Saturday, and I figured Jeff wanted to get home to his family, even though he may have needed to stay for the whole pprocess. I left after 1200 degrees, thanked Jeff profusely, and he validated me and told me that Hindu burial rituals also allow for the family to be there while the loved one is burning, so pressing the button and wanting to be there to send them all the way off is not that weird. I very much appreciated the opportunity to be there; I figured prior to that that wasn't a thing.
Oh Kari! What a name! I have seen people loiter and leave over their loved ones, and worried in case they moved the body and exposed something unpleasant where the site of the main injury which killed might be, and thus alarm and upset everyone there ! Do you ever keep any of the male funeral home staff standing respectfully close enough to act fast if necessary? I can’t think of a worse memory for parents or spouses to have if what you described happened in front of them! Thankyou for explaying, AND demonstrating bless you! Regards from the U.K.! 🙋♀️💕💐👏🏻👍
I can’t say I’m shocked. Grief stricken and out of control must be an awful thing to feel. These people surely would come to their senses once they’ve calmed down. It’s an impulse I’m guessing? Overwhelmed with grief. Very sad x
Durring my grandmother's service, my aunt , fyi was married to my uncle my grandmother's son who passed a couple years before, she did that extream drama filled "WHY, WHY TERESA?" Then threw herself on the casket. We all thought that was odd because they were not close. She was divorced from my uncle for 20 years at that time. She in general was that person that had to always have attention on her.
My friend almost pulled over the whole casket when she ran at the casket where her dad lay passed and suddenly threw herself on top of him and howling in pain! ) : It was completely shocking and upsetting! I will never forget it! Eek! ) :
My Mother in law grabbed her daughter who was only 6 Mos old and ran out of the funeral home in 1977 in SF she was never the same she was only in the front near the bus stop crying and rocking but im sure it was traumatic to whom ever witnessed this 😢 I myself lost my 24 yr old last yr to Murder and I am still in disbelief
I have never thought of doing this, but when my late husband passed away, after visitation was over. Everyone went outside and I stood and watched as they closed his casket. I have no idea, why I did that, maybe that was my way of saying a final goodbye.