I'm an FA and HSP - I become so overwhelmed with !y feelings good and bad - you described me 💯% - romantic relationships are the most challenging because I feel very deeply for the person but also can't allow myself to really open myself up. I usually end up interested in dismissive avoidants because they don't focus on me at all- it's all very very frustrating.
The last three men I dated I sabotaged- I do something that makes them end it- I’m looking for reassurance that they’ll stay - but it actually scares them- things are going entirely too well and I always find a way to ruin it. This last one told me he thought I felt bothered by him. That’s unfortunately a new low for me.
I'd love to see some MBTI videos! I'm an HSP INFJ. I've struggled with anxious attachment, but due to your content, I'd say I'm 90% secure these days :)
I am this. I can't believe there is a name for this. When it's good, its amazing but when it's an influx of negative feelings it's so draining. I am even dreading work more often lately. I'm in healthcare and while I'm working I can feel purposeful but I leave so many days emotionally drained more than anything especially during this breakup. Can't get enough rest to recalibrate and get back to center. There's a name for this the whole time? Wow..
I am sorry you are so affected by this. Please try your best to carve out time for you to recalibrate and connect to yourself and meet your needs. I know you are so busy but BECAUSE you are so busy this is even more important you make your recalibration and souls nourishment time priority over everything else. lots of love - PDS team member
I am EXTREMELY HIGHLY SENSITIVE... I cry over everything.. sadness and happiness.. and for others I feel their aura and their pain... I have always always been this way! ... Thank you Sooo much for doing a series of this topic...
im a HSP and an anxious attachment. it gets sooo very tiring, especially because i also have co-dependent tendencies and have that fear of abandonment if i dont do/say the “right” things. AHHH!! so frustrating sometimes!! lol
So interesting ! I’m an HSP, INFJ and Anxious Att. I have been reading your book too and VERY bizarrely, the past 3 days - since I’ve been absorbing your content- I’ve been feeling so much better. So much more in tune and kind towards myself! Thank you for all your work! I watched your video about your personal journey and remember you said you wanted to help others overcome their struggles. I believe you are following this path so successfully !
I agree with Thais that the expression of HSPness is going to be moderated by MBTI, childhood experiences and attachment style. I am an ENFP and I think that is why I don't relate to the sensory issues. That would be more characteristic of an 'S' in the MBTI. As to the nature/nurture issue I showed all but the sensory characteristics from about 2 years of age strongly enough that it caused my parents a lot of concern. It also meant that I was very prone to creating or worsening the impact of trauma because of inaccurate meaning making without the knowledge and wider perspective and wisdom of an adult. I'm not saying I imagined all the trauma in my childhood but my experience of it was definitely worsened because of the meanings I gave it and contributed to my decision at age 9 to avoid close relationships. Thais' video on the four types of DA was interesting in connection to this. I am type 2.
I see the convergence of attachment styles, MBTI, and enneagrams coming to PDS really soon! For the past 3 weeks I have been really diving deep into personality types and I have had a lot of AHA moments. PDS emotional processing and communication styles, MBTI cognitive function stacks and how each individual perceives the world and processes internal and external stimuli, and Enneagram fears, desires and personality slant to attach or withdraw from being a nurturer and/or protector all come together. I have even seen in the scholarly world attempts to unify attachment styles with Enneagram personality typing. Very interesting convergence of ideas from many different psychological and spiritual backgrounds!
Fearful Avoidant! You just described me perfertly. I discovered I am an HSP 2 yrs ago- even before I knew anything about a fearful avoidant attachment "style" specifically- just that something has always seemed different about how I processed the world. I've done a lot of selfwork but, it's still there, especially the hypervigilance and the noticing of the microexpressions. I question the meaning I give to things often in trying to stay regulated because I operate in Ministry work which means I'm always in contact with other people trying to help them. It is not easy being an HSP and fearful avoidant -a blessing and a curse. My MBTI is "Defender" and apparently the best jobs that I'm suited for are counselor, Ministry, nursing, all caretaking which all seem to correlate with fearful avoidant Style.
Focus on your blessings...there are a lot. There are things you wouldn't be able to do and people you wouldn't have helped if you didn't have some of your qualities. Keep doing the work to help support healing FA wounds. You will slowly get there and realize what a gem and blessing to this planet you are. - PDS team member
I think you’re absolutely amazing and I love following you, and you also talk very very fast! Sometimes hard to keep up without rewinding numerous times
Dawn Post you can lower her speed by pressing the 3 dots in the upper right hand corner on your phone...I listen to her at .75 speed and it’s sooo much easier to take in
This is me! I am a FA and have all of the qualities you explained. 😢 hyper-vigilance is my most dominant characteristic. It is exhausting. Could you please share how to reduce hyper-vigilance in everyday situations? Thank you for what you do 🙌🏼
I've always wondered how you would differentiate between a fearful avoidant, leading to avoidant and a Dismissive Avoidant, who is also an HSP. Would they show less dismissive traits because they are more aware of the feelings of others, but still shut down their own emotions? Or would that be a sign that they are maybe fearful avoidant...
Thank you so much for your wonderful content. Are you planning to release videos on the individual attachment styles (+subtypes) and their connection to HSPs soon? Also trying to understand how cPTSD weaves into all of this. Your videos provide such detailed insight into attachment theory and nuances in adult attachment that it is helping me better understand myself and how my relational traumas affected me. Since I’m also highly sensitive I was particularly excited about this video :)
This is so incredibly interesting. I used to be intensely FA and even after doing a lot of personal work still struggle with hypervigilance. I've been told before im an empath but have attributed that to my childhood need to be hyper attuned to others emotional states as a way of staying safe. So the description of a HSP makes perfect sense. I'm an INFP also so interest to see how this will be included in future videos. Thank you!
Meeeeee. Was shocked to learn this about myself a couple years ago but it helped make sense of so many things. Thank you for bringing more awareness to this topic!
Thank you for these videos. I'll be honest I found your videos through the attachment style quiz and it was presented to me by someone who thought it was just another silly personality quiz. I decided to dive a little deeper into the content and this totally follows what I learned in college as a psych major in developmental psych. I always wanted to expand on that information and this is very interesting to me!
I am 100% these things and it's awful. So many people are lying about what they are putting out and it's awful to see things deep and feel things deep cause it's easy to get caught in someone's soul or potential instead of who they are choosing to be. Also, hard to believe bullshit and go along. And it's terrible to empathize with everyone - you get walked all over a lot.
This is a brilliant video! Thanks, Thias! I am an HSP with an Anxious-Preoccupied attachment style. The two of those traits definitely interconnect with one another, in my case. Fortunately, I am actively working toward earned Security through PDS. :)
I’m an HSP ENFJ, also with anxious attachment, at least towards my STBX. I’d really like to see how these may correlate some, been thinking about it for a long time. My current wife (STBX) have been struggling to navigate our relationship for some time, after running from the underlying feeling and discovering much too late, after 3 kids, that it might be that we really just weren’t the best fit. At least not anymore after evolving and growing and finding a bit more out about ourselves. Have made the absolute gut wrenching decision to split, co parent, and try to be there for each other as friends. Just too many mismatched issues. I find myself think so much more about how badly she is feeling and how much I know she is internalizing and how much I want to try and comfort her, though, I know that can’t really be as she is trying to separate out her feelings and move forward. It is truly hard feeling so much more strongly for her than myself, when I know she won’t be able to be there for me right now either.
Hi Thais, wonderful video as usual! I'm an HSP and I was wondering if you could touch upon how the HSS (high sensation seeking) trait in some HSPs manifests itself in the insecurely attached. As an example, it sounds a lot like the FA's not committing to their decision to stay in vs going out. But then HSP - HSS is considered a genetic trait vs attachment style which is predominantly nurture.
Did you happen to remember the TedTalk info? Great video as usual. I’m an ENTP but I think I’m living in my shadow functions because I’m absurdly sensitive, hyper vigilant and socially introverted lately- which is not normal for me
This is me! How does anyone feel about the HSP and anxiety and depression meds? I started taking Prozac and I’ve noticed a small numbness to my emotions. I still feel it’s just not as dramatic as it was.
Love this video. I’ve been working on balancing this on a deep level for the last year. Met someone that triggered it on a deep level... It hasn’t been fun but overall it’s been a great thing. Interesting you say it’s genetic. Most, if not all of my family is this way.
Thais, all those years of using youtube and this is literally my first comment. If you don't see this %100 of my comments will have been in vain. If you are going to use MBTI then you should most definitely look into Socionics. In my experience it's much more relatable, detailed and less stereotypical. Also functions make more sense to me. BTW in another video you said FAs tend to have high Fe function and as an FA ISTJ/ISTj I'm having an identity crisis.
I would love to hear more about how the HSP gene is turned on and off in real time by perceptions and feelings. Or maybe a link to more info about it elsewhere. This seems like it would be a key thing to work with to gain better control and to become less likely to be thrown off course.
Thais, please do a video or even a course on how to grieve in a more secure way. My parent just got diagnosed with terminal cancer and i feel like as a FA i am spiraling down and I don't know where to start
I will definitely bring this suggestion to Thais and the team. My heart breaks for you. I am so sorry to hear what you are dealing with right now. - PDS team member
Good morning Thais ! Thank you! How do we temper this? You mentioned emotional boundaries? How do we adapt and have this work in our favor(if at all possible)? This is so very me and my FAism
Can someone be an HSP and not an empath...when people tell me good news I'm happy for them but I don't really feel it like that cause it's not happening to me. Same with sad things. However, if someone is physically suffering then yea, I feel it a lot. I relate to the other 3 characteristics though.
The strong emotional relating is kind of the hallmark of sensory-processing sensitivity (the scientific term for HSPs), but people on the highly functioning side of autism spectrum can have a lot of similar characteristics and others like hyper vigilance seem to overlap with cPTSD as well. It’s difficult because a lot of these seem to still be poorly understood or researched :)
TED Talk link please? It's so ironic how fast you try to slap an acrimonious acronym to a perfectly healthy human reaction - empathy. All this hyper-categorical thinking is dehumanizing
Hi Ross - here it is: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-pi4JOlMSWjo.html I agree (and state in the video on multiple occasions in a variety of ways) that empathy is a natural part of our human condition. However, this concept has been scientifically studied and I am talking about something different (HSP as a genetic trait). This might be a perfect opportunity to question the meaning you've given to this video/assumptions you've made about the intentions :)
Ross, I actually think the opposite. I think it’s extremely ‘humanising’ and for people who have experienced this or do experience this and have always felt that they ‘feel too much’, it is an absolute relief to know that this is real and isn’t a negative or embarrassing part of ourselves. Most people have empathy to a certain degree, but when you feel absolutely everything so strongly that it has a strong impact on how you function daily, it is so much more layered than just empathy. I really think that if you feel this way about the video, then maybe this isn’t your reality and thats okay. For people who feel this way, it’s a breath of fresh air to hear it acknowledged. Thank you Thais.
