What it looks like to process survival stress (aka: trauma) when you are regulated.

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This video was inspired by a great question from one of my students that went something like this:
”Irene, can you do a video on what it would look like for someone who has regulation in their system to process a traumatic event?”
I love this. Because when we’re just starting out on this journey of nervous system health and healing, things can feel disorienting. We often need EXAMPLES to give us context and clarity around what to expect as we grow capacity and become more regulated. I use a painful moment of my own as an example of how to process survival stress somatically from a place of regulation, connected to the here and now. What you learn in this video can be applied to any stressful situation, accident, or injury you encounter from this day forward.
Resources mentioned in this video:
►New Here? Irene Lyon Website
irenelyon.com/new-here/
►Functional freeze explained.
• Functional Freeze Expl...
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Thank you for being here!
1. Leave a comment and let me know how this video impacted you. Feel free to leave a question (my team answers them each week!)
2. To get more nervous system health resources, plus learn more about me and my credentials, plus the many ways you can work with me at the practical level, head to my website: irenelyon.com
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4. GOT QUESTIONS? Send an email to: support@irenelyon.com
Please know that...
The statements on this RU-vid channel or in videos are simply opinion. Content presented or posted on this channel is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment or a professional therapeutic relationship. Content presented or posted is intended to provide general health information for educational purposes only and you should contact the appropriate healthcare professional before relying on any such information.
My website is a wealth of information, free resources, and information on how to start this work, so here it is one more time: irenelyon.com
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13 май 2023

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Комментарии : 95

@donnadeloudis7950 Год назад

While juggling carrying washing, and my phone in the other hand, watching this video i dropped my phone on my finger. It hurt! I sat and felt the pain. Good timely reminder 😂👍

@a.k.3110 Год назад

Wow, i just realize how becoming a mom opened this up for me. Having a cool pack for my son and then witnessing me not stoping to care for my minor injuries had me. I often see myself like a child i care for to create a new normal, not the hustling, bump and hustling on so no one can make fun of me or call me to sensitive. I now learned to sit down, handing myself a cool pack and feel what's going on inside me. I even allow myself to let tears flow that are from back then, i embrace that i created a safe space. Safe to cry and feel my body sensations and every emotion. For now It's part of the process to hold myself with loving hands when old tears or anger are coming up. To reconnect to my body and the environment when I fall apart internally and puzzle me together again. I plan to educate me further with the mentioned sources. Thank you for your generous offering it's so helpful.

@eagletk4582 Год назад

Thank you❤

@Tinyteacher1111 9 дней назад

Very helpful! I used to watch your videos, and now I know I have nervous system issues and I’m in freeze response, so I’m rewatching them with a purpose! Thank you! I’m not sure where to start with a program, but my new therapist has been very helpful!

@jessenoelle262 Год назад

So it's like, someone who is regulated can process physical stress/pain without dissociating from the present moment, and without becoming triggered by it. Huh... 🤔 What a novel idea! In all seriousness, I would never have thought about this one. Like, the rage that comes up when I stub my toe really hard, or bash my shin against something...? It would never have occurred to me to think of that dysregulation as stemming from anything other than the pain in the moment. Thank you so much for sharing, that was incredibly insightful!

@IreneLyon Год назад

Jesse Noelle, great to hear this was helpful! Since you found this interesting, I thought you might enjoy a related free resource Irene has about how to De-stress in 7 steps. She also has a Field Guide to the Nervous System that I'll share too. 7 Steps to De-Stress - irenelyon.com/7-steps-opt-in-IL A Field Guide to your Nervous System - irenelyon.com/field-guide-to-your-nervous-system - Jen from Team Lyon

@chilloften Год назад

My work is extremely stressful a lot of times. It’s crazy how in some situations I stay on top, stay focused, and flow through and get the work done and done well. Other times, I cannot even think straight on what I need to do or have already done, just huge overwhelm that is nearly breathtaking and my mind blown. My whole day affected and ruined and not getting all of the work done. I feel exploited by the expectations and demands and no one to call on. Just more calls to me. I feel exploited some days. I get angry and want change but it only gets harder and harder and worse staffing etc. I know that I need a different path. Life is hard. AF.

@jaymoraski Год назад

I have been there, 30 years of non-stop work stress - long hours, weekends, always on call...... Wish I knew now, what I did not know then............. No one has all the answers but think about what the most important things in life ? Your health, family, friends, joy, love and satisfaction in life. ? Slowly make time for yourself the best u can. Don't know about your work situation, but unless you own the company, you are not solely responsible for keeping it afloat. Slowly if possible, cut back on the negative things/people in life along with things that are not truly important. Sending positive thoughts and love. 💜

@allinclusive4943 Год назад

That was an eye opener; i had to injuries half a year ago: similar as you, I slammed my hand in a (car slide-) door. But me and my friends were I a hurry and I said NOTHING, just ignored the bad,bad pain. My fingers swollend I had to take off my rings. Another day I fell with my bike, immediately felt a really hard pain in my knee. But continued what I had to do with a little cooling. Month later I had a doctor's appointment (because fingers and knees became not really as they were before and here in Germany one had to wait for months to get an appointment for a specialised doctor 🙄) the orthopedic doctor did an x-ray from fingers and knee and saw that there was a little splinter, but healed in my ring finger and a fine crack, but also kinda healed in a bone under the knee. I was shocked , that I did continue everything, didn't say anything about with broken bones! I thought I am going so well with my trauma healing journey, but that made me see, that there are still way to many 'normals' for me that aren't normal... Thanks for your work ❤

@vickioxenham7032 Год назад

I learned through the wonderful Dr. David R. Hawkins, that no pain is without end, through his extraordinary healing journey (Letting Go). However; you really are filing in ALL the blanks for me, Irene, because through your teachings I surmise that: if we’re aiming to be calm in the presence of pain whilst in acute survival mode, we’re essentially just suppressing in a new way (spiritually bypassing our pain). A few weeks ago I slipped and fell at home, and the pain and shock saw me instantly go into full rage and swearing followed by sobbing. But it felt cathartic, it felt right, in the same way is does when I deliberately vent my rage, alone in my car. Knowing that that was a natural and healing reaction (all be it unavoidable in that instance) is huge for me, after so many years of mindfulness and breathing through so much shit. Thank you (yet again).

@texuztweety Год назад

You see this in kids that have trauma, of they get hurt, they have a huge meltdown because the trauma floodgates open

@affiniti3 Год назад

This is so interesting! I discovered you via Instagram and I’m fascinated by this! I’ve been stuck in fight or flight for 2 years following the sudden death of a friend. I thought I used to be a relaxed person but I’m realising now that I used to sleep instead of feel. Now I have no choice but to feel as I can’t relax enough to ‘comfort nap’ and my body is like ‘hey, here are ALL the emotions you haven’t faced during your life!’ Now I have to learn to face them and you’re right, it’s like war had broken out and I feel totally bewildered and frustrated by it all! I feel terrified to ‘sit with myself’ but I think that’s probably all the more reason to do it!

@SamStone1964 Год назад

Absolutely. That way you dissolve the potential emotional baggage that most of us drag along through our entire life.

@affiniti3 Год назад

@@SamStone1964 well that’s encouraging! Thank you Sam! 🙏

@embracinghumans Год назад

Excellent clarity with compassion. Thank you!

@sierrafrancesca 7 месяцев назад

increedible video and information. thank you for taking the time to make this Irene

@neetaarora7908 Год назад

Yes, helpful indeed.

@diverstalent Год назад

Thank you, Irene!

@northstarearthstar Год назад

Thankyou Irene! This sparked some questions for me that I'm going to sit with and bring to sbsm. Or come back here and ask too...thankyou!

@evestree Год назад

Thank you, very helpful to hear this and apply it to my life. Thank you

@FatimaZahra-oe6br Год назад

Love and respect from Morocco 💕💐

@michellem9616 Год назад

Thank you ✨

@SavannahE1972 Год назад

When we get a little hurt which is not life-threatening: Pause Sit Feel the sensation forwhat it is (And be curious of your mind: is it going to make a story of it? Then you have some work to 😉)

@brentbaity7536 Год назад

Road rage comes to mind. I'm thinking about this. Still working on how the nervous system works. Is road rage an example of disregulation? Thanks for the freebie...

@QueenKaryBoO Год назад

Same question. I guess it is. I get a lot of road rages! When I drank ayahuasca it keeps you regulated for some time /days and I didn't mind who was cutting me off or things like this but I just laughed and had real compassion. I was only happy lol.

@brentbaity7536 Год назад

@@QueenKaryBoO lol on the ayahuasca. I'm 61. Don't believe in a quick fix. Not saying that I don't consider plant medicine as having benefits for some. No, I don't drive a car and I usually use the bus system. Public transportation. Recently I was given a ride a couple times with various people and they all seemed to be running on a short switch. It is my belief that the work is the most important part of nervous system healing. It is my hope that Source has led me to Irene and Peter Levine among a few other favorites, teaching me how to be my own medicine. An Alchemist of sorts. Let God as you innerstand God be the apothecary. And Irene is a messenger. Better than the short cuts... live and real.

@QueenKaryBoO Год назад

@@brentbaity7536 yup. It isn't even a fix. It helped see past traumas I thought I didn't have or I had got over with but that's it. It was even super traumatizing. I'm working with somatic experience as well but I'm new just a couples of weeks I'm giving a shot cuz I'm tired of living this way. I am a high functioning borderline so I hope this can help cuz a lot of triggers and toxic people has ruined my life. Bless you and hope you get over this as well!

@brentbaity7536 Год назад

@@QueenKaryBoO no big. It's a journey and we have a front row seat. Terrance McKenna may be insightful regarding psychedelics. Nothing wrong with it. Reality certainly shifts quickly. For the moment we're amazed. Then we're left to sort out the experience. Nothing wrong here either. I just like the way Irene Lyon looks 😉

@IreneLyon Год назад

Brent Baity, Jen here from Irene's team. Yes, road rage could be an example of how nervous system deregulation can show up. If you've ever had the experience where your reaction to a situation seems disproportionate to the actual situation, then trauma is likely playing a role. It can also show up in other ways too - chronic illness, depression, anxiety, and more. Irene has a Field Guide to the Nervous System. I'l link to it in case you want to check it out. I'll also link to an interview she did with Seth Lyon, her husband and colleague, about what changed for him as regulation and capacity grew. A Field Guide to Your Nervous System - irenelyon.com/field-guide-to-your-nervous-system Healing our resistance to making money, exercising, & living in the matrix with Seth Lyon - ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-Yebx-llgwYY.html

@ModernJewelryMakers Год назад

I’m often stuck in freeze where I can tell I’m too afraid to do something relatively simple like call a new doctor to see if they are taking new patients, or open an email if it’s someone I’ve had any past issues with. Or even to do things I know would help progress my income (self employed) but I can’t seem to get myself to take a new step. I can tell it’s fear, I just never used to have this issue before a bunch of trauma happened a few years ago where I lost everything. At the time I felt sure I could build it all back, but as time has went on, I know find myself too stuck to make progress. Should I be acknowledging the fear, allowing “it” to be seen & hear? Or a physical release? I feel like I’ve tried just about everything but still so stuck most days.

@IreneLyon Год назад

@ModernJewelryCreators, Jen here from Irene's Team. It can be challenging for sure to be able to see the steps you want to take and not to be able to take them because of what's happening in your physiology. You asked if you should be acknowledging the fear, allowing it to be seen and heard. Or a physical release. These steps can be important, and if you've already tried them and aren't noticing much change, then you might need to take steps to grow nervous system capacity and grow access to "okayness" that can help to hold the fear (and whatever else you may be experiencing). There may also be survival responses emerging that want expression. I'll share some links to resources about capacity, and also to info about Irene's 21 Day Nervous System Tune Up Course. It's a self-study course she created to teach people the basics related to understanding and working with what's happening in the physiology. How to Create a Practice to Build Nervous System Capacity - irenelyon.com/2019/01/15/how-to-create-a-practice-to-build-nervous-system-capacity/ How to Build Somatic and Nervous System Capacity - irenelyon.com/2022/01/16/how-to-build-somatic-and-nervous-system-capacity/ 21 Day Nervous System Tune Up - 21daytuneup.com/

@M0NEYVR999 Год назад

Great video thank you! Do you work with people who have trigeminal neuralgia?

@IreneLyon Год назад

Cameron7890, Jen here from Irene's Team. Irene doesn't work with people 1-1 these days as she created an online course and program, and the resources that you're seeing here, as a way to teach people to work with their own nervous system. We do have people with trigeminal neuralgia participate in Irene's offerings. Irene also did a video about the connection between jaw tension and survival stress. I'll share a link below, along with links to Irene's 21 Day Nervous System Course and SmartBody SmartMind program in case you want to learn more. And if you're interested in learning more about 1-1 work with a trained practitioner, you might check out Irene's video about how to choose a good somatic partitioner. The connections between jaw tension, teeth grinding and stored survival stress - irenelyon.com/2022/10/16/the-connections-between-jaw-tension-teeth-grinding-and-stored-survival-stress/ 21 Day Nervous System Tune Up - 21daytuneup.com/ SmartBody SmartMind - smartbodysmartmind.com/ How to find a good somatic practitioner - irenelyon.com/2019/11/14/how-to-find-a-good-practitioner/

@carolineyunker9 Год назад

What would it look like for someone with a dysregulated nervous system in a situation where they are dealing with other dysregulated family members? I was at a family gathering and a "discussion" broke out between my brother and I. I was thrown back 50 years when we were teenagers arguing over stupid things.

@IreneLyon Год назад

Caroline Yunker, Jen here from Irene's team. It sounds like you got a window into what it looks like to have a dysregulated nervous system and interact with family members who do as well. There is often a lot of reactivity, "old" and familiar reactions and patterns often show up, and it's not uncommon to feel like we were thrown back in time or are younger than chronological age. I'd say this is the case for most of us who discover this work! The good news is that we can learn to grow regulation, even if we have family members who are not open or able to grow and change. I'll link to a view of Irene's videos where people talk about related changes they've experienced as they've explored this work in case you want to check them out. Healing the dysregulation of domestic violence & cellular unsafety. Isabelle's SBSM Success Story. - ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-YnBmCEULmX8.html "My husband and I don't really fight anymore." Aimée's SBSM Success Story. - ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-JiT9m2QKH0c.html Real lives, real change: From victimhood to empowerment. - ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-JYS_QPA3N4Q.html

@carolineyunker9 Год назад

@@IreneLyon Yes. I doing SBSM for the second time but struggling a bit. I need some VISUAL examples of how to deal with other unregulated people.

@IreneLyon Год назад

@@carolineyunker9, sorry to hear about your struggles. I'm not sure what you mean by visual examples. If you're an SBSM member, then as you know you have access to extensive nervous system education and practice. You might ask your question on the SBSM program site as we can direct you to those resources too.

@IreneLyon Год назад

@@carolineyunker9, I hear you and am not clear on what you mean by "visual examples of how to deal with other unregulated people." If you haven't already done so, you might consider asking this on the SBSM program site where you can ask in more depth and we can refer you to SBSM resources (if applicable).

@autumnallaround11 Год назад

sounds to me like you have some unhealed wounds from childhood. And he poked those wounds and it triggered you. Family does that to me too.

@user-zo5ry2vo6y Год назад

I’m not well regulated. Prior to your video I thought the most healing thing to do when you injure yourself, feel physical pain and have a big emotional reaction would be to do inner child work - to comfort her heartbreak to begin to heal earlier neglect. Now I’m wondering are you saying it is best just to be with the pain or would it be most healing to be with both the physical pain and inner child emotion in a compassionate way.

@IreneLyon Год назад

Maureen Hill, Jen here from Team Lyon. Inner child work can be complementary to this nervous system work. This work, as you may know, involves learning about what's happening in the nervous system/physiology, and how to support it. Sometimes it also involves growing access to states and experiences that we didn't learn to experience as we were growing up (such as experiences of safety, belonging and connection). When we are young, we need "good enough" contact with a regulated care giver in order to develop nervous system regulation and capacity. This contact happens through the physiology - through touch, warmth, presence, heart rate, etc. This is in part why practices that involve the physiology are central to this work, and why they are so transformative. To give you an example, if you stub your toe, you might relate to your inner child by saying something like "I'm here with you" and then bring in this work by taking your time to feel the body, noticing if you want to sit down or to move in a given way, if you need to cry or yell or exclaim something, and you might instinctively place a hand somewhere that could use some care. Since you mentioned heartsick and healing neglect, I'll link to a few of Irene's resources that focus specifically on early trauma. Q&A w/ Irene, Seth, & Janice. Special focus on healing early & developmental trauma - ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-78Qix0D6eLk.html Ten things you need to know when healing early trauma - irenelyon.com/2019/11/22/ten-things-you-need-to-know-when-healing-early-trauma/ This lady deserves a gold star! My long-form interview with Kathy Kain. - irenelyon.com/2018/12/18/this-lady-deserves-a-gold-star-my-long-form-interview-with-kathy-kain/

@sonnenkind9130 Год назад

Hey Irene😊 What can i do when sensations come up when i.m not alone? Just yesterday i was on a Workshop for work with a Trainer who already put me in kyper arousal,he scares me with his presence And a special exercise scared my System so much, i could feel my body wanted to turn around or leave the situation Wirh people i know really well or Therapeutin setting i can do that But here i was just to afraid/ ashamed What will the colleagues think, they feel i am not Balance enough for this work, they will not understand, will the Trainer allow that i stop o have i to leave the Workshop then? My own thoughts of" i cannot always flee such situations My System has to understand that the outside is just a trigger So many thibgs in my head And the Workshop will be 3 more Times the next weeks I am already nervous just thinking of that and feeling my System would be totale relieved if i would just quit, it is not my Person And not my setting But this Person isthe most Common Trainer for my country for the work i do( education) And some schools already make These Workshop an obligation for their Team But this Problem, to respect my body And process well when i am alone, but not allowong it with other people is a never Endingen Story for me,causing i mostly prefer being alone or just with people that are very soft,understanding,asking what i want or not What can i do with that? I know that i am not the only one with this Issue Thank you so much

@melusine826 Год назад

You are definitely not the only one, I've felt similar with some work situations (a manager) and I would also appreciate having more tools in my kit if I have to work with someone again (and we will) who sets me off. All the best on the process

@thesincitymama Год назад

My body usually helps me out with this scenario by forcing me to run to the toilet. It’s very convenient actually. In a real crisis, you could always fake it, just for an excuse to run outta the room. It’s silly but I’m serious…

@rosathomas3574 Год назад

Would this be similar with, say, a rising panic response? If regulated, it just washes over and passes pretty quickly without creating a story about it?

@IreneLyon Год назад

Rosa Thomas, Jen here from Irene's Team. Yes, you've got it. You might notice the panic start to rise, pause to orient to your surroundings, maybe place a hand on your chest, and feel the wave of sensation/feeling move through you. There may be other elements too, and this is the essence it.

@mjey1 Год назад

I have a random question - when I was younger, my thighs would often shake in bed when I was randomly generally nervous at night. And when I asked for my mom to be next to me, she wasnt the most helpful, so I wonder if it was fear or trauma being released, even though I wasn't in a safe mindframe. Its hard for me to know when shakes and whatnot are fear responses, or releases, because its physically appearing similar.

@IreneLyon Год назад

Oteese, Jen here from Team Lyon. I hear that you have a question, and it sounds like your question has to do with when shakes are fear responses and when they are releases. I want to clarify that shaking is a common way that fear moves through the nervous system, and this can be a form or release, or change. Sometimes this will be present day fear moving through, and sometimes this will be held survival responses coming to the surface to move through complete. Both can be important, as when we don't allow what's arising in the present to move through then we can add to the stored survival stresses in the body. In either case, it's important to stay connected to the here and now as you feel wha you're feeling, and to respect your nervous system capacity. This is part of what Irene teaches in her videos and in her course, classes and program. I'll link to a related video where you can learn more, and I'll also share a link to a 4-part series on The Essentials of Nervous System Healing & Healing that Irene is offering until tomorrow. The cost is $77. A real-life example of an organic trauma release - irenelyon.com/2022/11/23/a-real-life-example-of-an-organic-trauma-release/ The Essentials of Nervous System Healing & Healing - irenelyon.com/essentials/

@carolineyunker9 Год назад

I don't think I know a single person whose nervous system is truly regulated. Most people I know would have cussed and immediately treated the injury.

@franciscoguevara9727 Год назад

i think she doesnt highlight here so well, im not sure focusing on the pain will help but perhaps what shes trying to say is contain the emotions or try to process them , i would even share with someone if i need to when some stuff whappens, i would have put ice on if it hurts and thats perfectly normal and ok and i would say is self-care. She tends to be very black and white when she talks. about some things, and the world of somatics also freely throws around the word "stories" ...... to omuch, in an extreme this can be gaslighting too as ive seen people use this as gaslighting, when theyre actually being abusive, so here you go, i come here to listen about regulation here and again, and i also already know this from this particular youtuber, and try to take the good things, and leave the rest .. were worth it :)

@monicasnotes Год назад

I think her point is she didn’t get angry about it, didn’t freak out like she’s going to die, or the other extreme didn’t pretend it didn’t hurt at all out of embarrassment. She acknowledged it (just like you said you would cuss) but didn’t get emotions involved.

@franciscoguevara9727 Год назад

@@monicasnotes i would say she processed the emotions in a safe wayand contianed way, the opposite of bypassing. Would be processing them :) cussing is good, and also icing, and when its over, getting on with everything.

@mariapostelnicu6502 Год назад

Minor anger or emotional discomfort is normal when pain from a minor injury comes up, since the brain receives a danger cue and prepares you for fight or flight. You ought to have an emotional reaction. Huge emotional reactions accompanied by irrational thoughts, however, are an indicator of dysregulation.

@franciscoguevara9727 Год назад

@@mariapostelnicu6502 probably the brain receives. a pain cue..... pain... and thats ok to express it cusss..... iceeand then as the feelings passcontinue with our day and what we are doing... even share if necessary... i dont it was well expressed or it was expressed or it may have left some questions to answer ... its important to not by pass the pain but share it, process it and when its over and done mov on that being said same with healthy boundaries, healthy anger signals the need for boundaries and vocing them si healthy it keeps my inner child integrated :) we are worth it .

@MrsAnaelimont Год назад

I had a really sudden back muscle spasm happened which was a 1 hour session of pain and spasm..... i am aware of the work so when the spasm happened.... i attempted to feel the pain and respect it.... i tried and tried.... but the pain and intensity was so string after 20 minutes...i had to take pain relivers and find a way to stop the pain.... are there times just "sitting with the pain" not enough to let it pass?

@IreneLyon Год назад

illy, Jen here from Team Lyon. Yes, there are times with just sitting with the pain is not enough to allow it to pass. This can be due to different reasons. Sometimes we may need to grow the nervous system capacity needed to be able to hold the pain (and what it touches into). Other times there may be a structural component, or something else physical that needs attention. Sometimes too we may need to do what we call "titrate" and "pendulate" as we feel a feeling, sensation, etc. In essence, this means that we notice a little at a time, and then shift attention to another element of experience (internal or external). I'll share a few links to related resources in case you'd like to learn more. Titration. Why it’s important when healing trauma - irenelyon.com/2021/10/17/titration-why-its-important-when-healing-trauma/ Pendulation: How to Shift Focus To Calm Overwhelm - irenelyon.com/2020/03/29/pendulation-how-to-shift-focus-to-calm-overwhelm/ How to create a practice to build (nervous system) capacity - irenelyon.com/2019/01/15/how-to-create-a-practice-to-build-nervous-system-capacity/

@chikhabouzid386 Год назад

Hello irene i have a question does medication help with dissociation? iam severly dissociated complet shutdown 😢 and i find that medication is making it worse what's your thoughts about that ? thank u

@IreneLyon Год назад

Cr7, Jen here from Team Lyon. In this work, we view dissociation and shutdown as symptoms of the freeze response. This can be challenging to live with, and I'm sorry to hear that the medication you're taking is worsening your symptoms. We aren't physicians here, so we're not able to comment on medication other than to say that it can be helpful in some cases. If you're medication isn't working, your doctor may have others for you to try. This work teaches people to work at the root, with what's causing the shut down and dissociation in the first place. We find these symptoms can often change dramatically over time as people explore this work. I'll link to a video about the freeze response in case you'd like to learn more, and also to a few of Irene's other resources. Understanding The Immobility Survival Response - irenelyon.com/2020/05/10/understanding-the-immobility-survival-response/ A Field Guide to Your Nervous System - irenelyon.com/field-guide-to-your-nervous-system What causes dissociation and what it takes to heal - irenelyon.com/2020/08/03/what-causes-dissociation-and-what-it-takes-to-heal/

@oksanakaido8437 Год назад

Am I correct in interpreting that this can apply to emotional hurts as well? E.g. just today a family member (who makes me very anxious, has acted threatening in the past, hurt me emotionally) reproached me for not cleaning up the house for their return from a trip and kept going on about how disappointed he is. Factually, it's true I could've done a lot better with cleaning up the house. However, at that point I kinda snapped and ended up hitting my head w my hands and making a sarcastic remark. My mind of course went crazy later telling me how I'm useless, don't have a future, should just die etc. I recognize the thoughts are unproductive so I put a stop to them. A few hours later I feel calmer but also depressed and a bit numbed out, with some shame/hurt still. Am I correct in assuming that this is trapped survival stress and I should be "sitting" with these emotions and feeling my body to better process them? Or am I way off here?

@DS-rd9qn Год назад

Healthy anger, expressed in a healthy way is a good thing! :)

@NoOne-fi2qc Год назад

I'm not an expert, but Im a traumatized person working on nervous system regulation and id like to share my two cents. It sounds like your body is reacting the way it learned to when confronted with a genuine threat, ie a person who is maybe both emotionally and physically dangerous/threatening at times. You had the initial fight response, then moved into freeze, which was learned to protect you since I assume fighting back wasn't safe? In freeze you have associated emotions, basically the anger is turned on yourself, since you're the only one you can control. Instead of being mad at the person for what they did to you, you're mad at yourself and beating yourself up internally "I'm bad for not doing what would appease this person, its my fault that they are hurting me." Which isnt true. It's really common when stuck in a threatening situation with no escape. The anxiety around this person is also a normal stress response, your body is anticipating a potential threat. Do you go through this pattern with people who are and have always been safe? Learning to sit with the anger/fight response is, in my understanding, the key to moving out of activation (I'm still working on it myself). And learning to regulate out of freeze if you do move into that response. You may not be able to resolve these triggers fully with someone who has been a genuine threat and in fact, the reason why they are there is to keep you safe in those situations. You'll learn to move out of them more easily as you sit with the feelings and the narrative your brain makes up will have less of a hold on you. The hope is that once you do the work, these responses won't trigger in situations where you are safe (if they do you can regulate out of them so they are less impactful) and when a threat triggers them, you will have more awareness around how to respond to keep yourself safe and you'll move out of them more easily once you are safe again.

@oksanakaido8437 Год назад

@@NoOne-fi2qc Thanks for your perspective on this, I really appreciate it! I do have a lot of rage toward this person for situations that happened in the past, so now I often feel unsafe/helpless around him. I don't necessarily blame myself but expressing rage towards him feels unsafe and unproductive, so I turn it on myself. Ugh, some of these threatening situations happened a couple years ago, feels like I should've gotten over them. With people who are "safe" I might get into this pattern if we get into an intense argument or I feel criticized, though it's not as bad. Sounds like the key is really to be aware of the feelings and regulate them - need to look up how to do that as I'm not quite sure how that looks in a practical sense, other than just waiting for it to pass!

@oksanakaido8437 Год назад

@@DS-rd9qn I do express anger towards him sometimes, but still have a lot of rage for past situations with him and it would be pointless to dredge it up now unfortunately!

@IreneLyon Год назад

Oksana Kairo, Jen here from Irene's team. Yes, you are correct in understanding that this does apply to emotional hurts too - anything that elicits a response in the nervous system. In the situation you described, the snapping actually sounds like a healthy, self-protective response. It's a form of something we call healthy aggression (HA) in this work. When we didn't have support for expressing aggression in healthy ways as we were growing up (as many of us didn't), we often learned to keep it in until we snap, or react. It's also common to internalize the HA, to turn it towards ourselves. This can show up as self-judgment, similar to what you described. It does sound like survival stress, including a self-protective response. Different to siting with the feelings, you might replay the situation in your imagination, slowing it down and taking it a step a time. When you snapped (for example), you might see if there is something you body wants to do, a way it wants to move, a sound you want to make. As we learn to work with out healthy aggression in conscious ways, when we have the time and space to do so, it can be very empowering, and we over time we also become less reactive in the fact of challenging situations. I'll link to a few of Irene's related resources in case you want to learn more, including info about her 21 Day Nervous System Tune Up. It's a course Irene created to teach nervous system basics, which can help in situations like this, and many others! What is Healthy Aggression? - irenelyon.com/2019/08/19/what-is-healthy-aggression/ Healthy Aggression - The Way to Un-frustrate Frustration - sethlyon.com/healthy-aggression-the-way-to-un-frustrate-frustration/ The 21 Day Nervous System Tune Up - 21daytuneup.com/

@jocheryl24 5 месяцев назад

i haven’t had significant nightmares since i was a child but recently i’ve had a lot of them. i’ve been working on healing trauma/survival stress for a several years on my own for financial reasons. my process involves a lifetime of survival stress but a few years ago 10 members of my family were killed in a mass shooting so some of this is very extreme. now suddenly i am having nightmares. could this be a part of a positive processing and the falling apart that happens as you describe here?

@IreneLyon 5 месяцев назад

Hello, Sophia from Team Lyon here. Sorry to hear you're navigating a challenging situation and thank you for sharing. Due to the complexity of the matter, we cannot assess symptoms via comment. Here is what Irene has previously said about processing and releasing trauma: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-1eVzl5HA3S8.html Additionally, if you're inclined to get started with this work, I encourage you to check Irene's free resources: irenelyon.com/free-resources/ Please feel free to reach out to support email for further assistance

@kathleencochrane9698 Год назад

So I guess you're talking about when we add narrative to a painful situation? That automatically indicates we have a trauma underlying the objectivity of the situation? I always get angry when I get hurt, and my dad especially with shotgun his anger and it would vibrate through the whole house, and stab me in the heart. That kind of thing? Isn't it natural to be angry when we are sharply and unexpectedly hurt? Isn't anger a healthy signal that something's not right, or safe, and we have to defend ourselves or take care of it? I don't understand where the line is.

@IreneLyon Год назад

Kathleen Cochrane, Jen here from Irene's team. I'm not sure I understand your question, and will share that yes, anger can be a healthy response to being unexpectedly hurt. However, what often happen where trauma is involved is that we have reactions that are disproportionate to present day circumstances. For example, say someone doesn't see and at the grocery store and steps in front of me in line, if I flare into anger (whether I express it outwardly or not), then I likely have a stored survival response in my system. Once I work through this response, and integrate it (as we do in this nervous system work), then in the same situation I might notice the person step in front of me, maybe feel a little charge (and maybe not), and I'll have more choice about whether I want to let it go if I'm not in a rush, or if I want to say something like "Excuse me, I'm in line." Hope this helps to clarify a bit. I'll also link to a few of Irene and Seth's (Irene's husband and colleague) related resources. What is Healthy aggression? - irenelyon.com/2019/08/19/what-is-healthy-aggression/ How to work with Anger in a Healthy Way? - ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-4wdeBJ39Cuw.html Healthy Aggression: The Way to Un-frustrate Frustration - sethlyon.com/healthy-aggression-the-way-to-un-frustrate-frustration/

@izzypaynee Год назад

today while i was getting my nails done i had a panic attack. a trigger for me is not being able to move. i would have usually gotten up and gone to the bathroom but i stayed there with my hand in the lady’s hand, heart racing and observing the feelings of the panic attack. i then started shaking profusely and stayed still. the whole time a neutral expression on my face. i left the mall shaking. now shut down and i am barely speaking. is this normal or a good thing?

@IreneLyon Год назад

@xXIZZYKITTIEXx, Jen here from Team Lyon. Shaking can be part of the underlying survival energy moving through (what we refer to as sympathetic nervous system, or SNS, activation). It sounds like you stayed with your experience. You might reflect on how you felt the day of two after this. If the shut down hung around, it may indicate that what you experienced may have been more than you have the current physiological capacity to handle. If this happens again, know that it's okay to get up and move, as often there's a connection between panic attacks and underlying flight response.

@izzypaynee Год назад

@@IreneLyon thank you Jen thats great advice :)

@GoldandPinkLight 11 месяцев назад

Hi Team Lyon, I got a glimpse of an Irene video called something like "We Are Primal" and now I can't find it. Anyone know which one I'm referring to?

@IreneLyon 11 месяцев назад

@GoldandPinkLight. Jen here from Irene's Team. I wasn't able to find anything by that name. Do you remember anything else about the video and what Irene spoke about?

@GoldandPinkLight 11 месяцев назад

@@IreneLyon Thank you, Jen, for looking! I just glimpsed it in my feed. I think the "we are primal" part must have been a sub-title. Oh well! : )

@IreneLyon 11 месяцев назад

@@GoldandPinkLight, maybe it will pop up again. If you want to dive deeper into the topics Irene teaches about, you might check out here free Healing Trauma video training. She covers a lot of ground in there! Here's a link in case you want to check it out: irenelyon.com/healing-trauma

@dominiquedecember Год назад

Has anyone ever really recovered from cptsd? Living is torture

@IreneLyon Год назад

dom m, yes, many people have really recovered from PTSD. I'm sorry to hear that living is torture for you right now, and there is hope. I'll link to a few stories from people who have created changes through doing this work over time, and also to a video series of Peter Levine working with a vet to heal from PTSD. Grace: A Success Story - irenelyon.com/2014/04/11/grace-success-story/ Near-death experiences (NDE’s), anesthesia states, surgical procedures - irenelyon.com/2011/09/01/a-special-on-near-death-experiences-ndes-anesthesia-states-surgical-procedures-potential-medical-problems-that-can-follow-a-skype-client-from-tennessee-writes-of-her-improvements/ Healing the dysregulation of domestic violence & cellular unsafety. Isabelle's SBSM Success Story. - ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-YnBmCEULmX8.html Somatic Experiencing® -- Ray's Story - ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-bjeJC86RBgE.html - Jen from Team Lyon

@Amiraorientaldancer 10 месяцев назад

In this kind of situation i would feel intense rage and would want to scream or hit something without hurting anyone. Im confused because in other videos you talk about healthy agression and to process the biological réaction. When rage is intense and directed to oneself, sitting with it feels a bit like répression. Thas this make sense?

@christofinb Год назад

Every-time I try to write down accurately an event whether I personally think it is traumatic or not it is painful to write it accurately in a journal. Could the narrative of trauma be a fallacy when there is something else going on ?

@IreneLyon Год назад

christofinb, Jen here from Irene's team. I'm not sure what you mean about the narrative of trauma being a fallacy when there is something else going on? From what you described, it sounds like writing things down touches into something for you. This is an example of the type of response we learn to work with in this way of working that Irene teaches.

@christofinb Год назад

@@IreneLyon thank you for your reply Jen, Yes I have little or no doubt it touches me in some way, I do a lot of this and have experimented on writing about traumatic events and also supposedly non traumatic events (what I presume to be non traumatic events or ‘neutral events’) and I get a similar resistance and feeling come up from either of them, in equal intensity a lot of the time. What I am saying is I am keeping an open mind, something which we might presume to be trauma is just us observing ourselves when we write and extrapolate about something that has happened in our lives. I would like to get into contact with someone from your channel/website/group so I can explain in a bit more detail. I have done a lot of experimentation with this type of thing and might have valuable information and experience that I can give out, not only could you assist me in sharing to you what is happening and you might be able to give me some advise but I also believe I can add something to your research.

@mariahanderson2345 Год назад

As a child i had a hard time managing my emotions due to traumatic circumstances. I would have major panic attacks and outbursts. Throughtout the years ive learned to mask and didnt even realize it. I have a deep fear of letting people see how i feel or that i wont be able to handle my emotions or handle them in the wrong way. When youre explaining this physical open wound causing alot of emotion for people are dysregulated, is this also accurate for people that are actively healing their nervous system but with an emotional incident? Ex: yesterday a family member scared me on purpose. Normally i would hold the anger inside, isolate, be embarrassed. Instead i had a bigger emotional reaction though I expressed myself. Is that healing?

@IreneLyon Год назад

@mariahanderson2345, Jen here from Team Lyon. You asked if having a bigger emotional reaction is healing. It can be, and it depends. Noticing how you feel afterwards - both right afterwards and in the following days and weeks - can often give you clues about whether or not a shift happened in response to what you felt. In this work, it's important to have some awareness of the present while you are feeling what you feel, and to experience and express within your current nervous system capacity. This can take some time to learn. I'll share a few links in case you want to learn more. How to Create a Practice to Build Nervous System Capacity - irenelyon.com/2019/01/15/how-to-create-a-practice-to-build-nervous-system-capacity/ What do you do when you have unresolved trauma? Two types of orienting. - irenelyon.com/2019/09/09/what-do-you-do-when-you-have-unresolved-trauma-two-types-of-orienting/