I was diagnosed fairly late with ADD and I have been suffering from constant mayhem in my home as long as I can remember. Until about three years ago, I couldn't stand it any longer. I was feeling depressed and felt like a failure because I felt I couldn't keep my surroundings under control. I started following a youtuber the Minimal Mom and did a MASSIVE clear out of stuff. That took 6 months of weekends going to charity shops donating boxes and boxes of usefull stuff (that I did not use) and going to containerparks to toss the rest. After that I only had like 1/3rd of inventory of stuff to keep on top off. Then I took it upon myself to see, cleaning up after myself, as a productive way of spending my time. When I started the process I would be repeating to myself : Your future self will be so thankfull you did that. Over and over again. Taking the trash out and relining the bin immediately ..... Your future self will be so thankfull. Clearing out the dishwasher ..... Your future self will be so thankfull. Hanging my keys on my work backpack immediately after I have come home.....Your future self will be so thankfull. Then when I use the bin immediately, instead of standing there with trash in my hand and trying to reline the stupid bin with one hand; and when I put my used dishes directly in the dishwasher instead of stacking them up on the counter; and when I can leave the house in a hurry without having to search for the bloody keys, I really feel gratefull to my former self for making my life easier and less chaotic in the present. Three years later, I do not recongize myself. Now with the clutter gone, I can have a housekeeper who comes twice a month and I am sooo thankfull that she can come. And now I am soooo proud of myself, when I look around and see that everything is in its place. It is all about managing the challenges. This worked for me. It might work for someone else ? Thank you for being open about this.
Camellia is such a wonderful wife. Great attitude. Beautiful inside and out. Ollie you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Unique in a beautiful way. A genuine loving person. Cherish each other.
I have 3 children my son Jayson 39 my daughter Jessica who is 34 my son Jacob who is 32.. We have all talked with jay at my dinning room table.. Just this past Christmas and the Jessica and Jacob thought it was normal because its all they ever new! I do want to say though. Jayson has met a woman that brings a smile to his face. And a twinkle to his eyes again. And he became a father fo the first time 3 months ago to a beautiful baby girl. Riley Ann! And with the medication for the ADHD it been a life changer for him also! She is our 10 grandchild I am truly blessed.
Looking forward hearing Camilla’s side. For years all I hear is my husbands and sons side of things, not one person has ever asked my side. ADHD is such a frustrating condition!
I have 4 now adult children with adhd been through all the school / college / uni problems - endless fighting for mental health services as they also have comorbid mental health issues utter nightmare still fighting still fighting wish you all the best ❤
You are an incredible mother. Especially as it’s only now we are becoming educated about ADHD. It undoubtedly must have been tough at many, many points. Sending bigs hugs and an enormous well done to you. Xx
Ollie - you are gorgeous. The world would be a boring place without ADD. But all of us should desire to continue to develop and learn (create strategies to honour our relationships). Thanks to both of you for sharing xo
This has been quite educational. I know several people with ADHD, and never knew about all the other ways it can manifest. Many of Ollie’s symptoms sound like my father. Of course, 50 years ago they didn’t have that as a diagnosis. His hyper focus was baking. He would bake enough to feed an army, and the kitchen would be a disaster area when he finished. Drawers open, utensils dusted with flour…. My heart goes out to Camilla. BTW- there are times I feel I inherited a bit of that. I lost my keys, and looked for WEEKS. When I found them in a jacket pocket, my husband said, “At least you didn’t leave them in the freezer.” His grandmother did that.
I'd like to say about focus - it's not that you can't do it, it's that you struggle to regulate your focus. So, as a person with ADHD, I can only somewhat choose what to focus on, and focusing on something takes a lot of energy, especially if I have to force it for longer than I should. Some days it's easier and some days, I can't even focus on things I like. When I have to keep focus for too long I go into overload and/or start to dissociate - my brain just stops working, I can't think, speak or take in information.
My entire family is " gifted " if you will with this disorder... myself included but in a less hyperactive way. My husband however refuses to admit he has it due to rejection sensitivity etc. Managing paperwork can be a nightmare..(make sure your taxes are current) and meltdowns or temper outbursts.. Im currently exhausted just thinking about it. Thank you for sharing✨️ The struggle is real.
My ex-husband, ex-mother in law and my daughter all have ADHD. My daughter is the only one medicated. She is a brilliant lawyer, but it is a constant task in monitoring meds and stress.
I love that Camilla has done her research to know what she's dealing with and how to support Oliver. You're a great couple and I truly wish you all the best.
Thank you for sharing Because of Ollie sharing his story. I saw a lot of his symptoms in me. I went to the Dr and she sent me to neurologists. To be diagnosed. I am 71 feel like I still have a lot of life in me. I love dancing, socializing. I also have been diagnosed with adhd. Thanks for being so open. Blessings my magical friends. You two are awesome
Thank you Olive and Camilla for sharing Ollie’s ADHD diagnosis and your coping “managing” strategies. This was done so openly, with honesty, warmth, humour and understanding. I hope this vlog gets shared far and wide and helps others managing ADHD or other like conditions.
Hi guys. It's not as uncommon a condition as you'd think. You are a supportive & close family which helps immensely. Praying for you all in this journey. Much love & light. 🙏❤
ADHD has so many of the same characteristics of Bi-polar disease. How did your psychiatrist rule out Bi-polar? I have been diagnosed with Uni-polar depressive disease but your story makes me question my diagnosis. I have the same types of symptoms as you. I know you cannot answer all of my questions but I thought I would ask. Camila, you are an amazing woman!😊
I wondered that as well- as it sounded like bipolar when it was mentioned the exhaustion situation. I applaud Camilla for bringing in the balance with great compassion. 👏👏
I am a late in life diagnosed person with ADHD I was 58 and I’m too old to tolerate the medication so I’ve had to learn to live with it but I’ve been living with it my whole life. I relate to everything y’all talked about, but I will say because I was so late in life it’s really taking a toll on my personal relationships particularly the emotional sensitivity and the inability to control my emotional swings. I go from elation to literally being devastated and feeling worthless. It’s hard even now to write this. You’re so lucky to have a support system set of loving partner and family who understand you I unfortunately do not have this and I don’t tell you that to make you feel sorry for me, but I just want you to know how blessed you are, which I’m sure you do and I wish you all the luck in the world to keep going. Keep coping and keep finding joy, of course. Good luck on finding your keys, ha ha I also understand now some of the comments between you two and various blogs. Please don’t misinterpret that nothing bad ever came to my attention it’s subtle, but I can see that spousal interplay where the ADHD was working. It’s magic between you two I think you’re amazing together I probably shouldn’t have said any of that , but withholding is very difficult for those of us with ADHD. We tend to blurt or I do anyway now I’m feeling guilty for having said it but since I wrote it out and I also have dyslexia, I’m gonna leave it in.
From life experience and research: Comorbid bipolar occurs in 40% of people…if you treat the mood disorder, you’re more likely to be able to accept treatment for your ADHD - there is nothing magically different about your age re: tolerating treatment but the extreme thinking that gets locked in about it is part of the brain wiring…you can manage better if you can believe it and stick with treatment
It’s a difficult life full of confusion to live with someone with adhd. Diagnosis finally helps the person take ownership. My relationship ended and my ex then sort help and accepted his diagnoses following many years of frustration and upset for all involved? Well done to you, it must have been difficult for you too. 🕊️
Yes, it’s definitely tough at times and everyone needs to be on board with finding real solutions when it’s serious - and needs treatment, like ADHD. You must have carried a lot of weight. Sending you great, enormous hugs xx
This video deserves an academy award! The fact that you both are relating ADHD to your personal experiences in your home in real-time makes much sense and understanding of its impact on all of you. You have structured your lives to reduce stress. I am not minimalizing the challenge life presents, and I can only congratulate you both on how you are coping. Stay strong. Keep the faith ❤
My 9 year old granddaughter has ADHD, and she is an amazing little girl, so smart, creative and delightful also. She is also taking medicine , it’s helps so much! 😊
Hi guys! So…you’re doing this? You’re going to put it all out there? GOOD ON YOU! Once you’ve identified what’s going on, it’s like a literal light switch being turned on and illuminating every aspect of your life. It’s a brave thing to share. My husband talks openly at dinner parties to anyone who’ll listen. The burden and weight of the masking is lifted and people are really receptive. Well done you (two) well done.
I so agree. People are more perceptive than we think, especially these days - we are so much more informed and with that information comes better understanding. So, being open becomes possible when before, it must have been just so hard. Well done to your husband too. xx
My man also has adhd. Like camilla i also did not see this.as my man is not an extrovert but he will be up at 5am in morning working outside then at 8am will start working at his job wont finish till 8pm with hardly any breaks.then after dinner still cant relax.looks at his phone till bedtime.where he has trouble sleeping. Luckily there is only him and myself. But sorry camilla it will not stop my man is now 67. He has to always be achieving something. With unreal expectations of time. Yes and he gets exhausted. And feels like he is in a fog. Gets injured. And will still not slow down. Gets an idea in his head and will not let it go. It can be exhausting. Coline.
Story of my life Camilla having 26/23/20 year olds with ADHD also ASD …..the kitchen really resonates with me and is the bane if my life with my 20 year old who has problems sleeping so will be up and down all night so every morning my kitchen looks like 10 people have had a party 🎉 no matter how many times i tell him his heads in fairy land ! Impulsive huge problem he spends all his money as soon as he gets it 😢 We too are always always late as procrastination is a HUGE thing so only gets ready last minute then ad you say lost keys lost phone we are on the 6th bank card in a year 😮 with two of them living at home it can get q little fractious at times but as i always say “pick your battles “ Its a hard journey for sure but with love and patience we will all get there thanks for sharing ❤
How wisely, maturely, and lovingly you are both handling this. Kudos to Camilla for all her quiet support and strength. You are a lovely couple, and I wish you every success in life and in your relationship.
Many marriages end because the communication breaks down due to these issues. Thank you so much for sharing your story in such a dignified and informative manner. Hopefully, others will learn from your experience. You both deserve a medal for finding a way through this. It isn't anyone's fault. Life gives us all things we have to deal with. If we can find our way, we and our families are much stronger for it. May you both and your family go from strength to strength.
Thank you so much for speaking about fatigue!! Fadigue is something also experienced by individuals with fibromyalgia and it is so frustrating. People often don’t understand this symptom and it is a consequence of suffering a lot of pain all the time.
As someone who lives with a spouse who is diagnosed, but untreated ADHD; I SO appreciated watching your video today. It is very hard being the rock/foundation of the family and sometimes feeling more like a caretaker than a partner. Thank you so much for speaking about it and helping others realize the struggles ADHD partners go through as well. 💞
Honestly Camilla’s goodness and passion always comes through on the screen. Usually I don’t watch ads on videos, but I watch these because it doesn’t feel like one is being forced to purchase something, just a “I use this, if you are on the market for one maybe try this”. Now I’m excited to listen to her viewpoint.
This was AMAZING. Thank you so much for helping us better understand how this condition affects not only the one with the diagnosis, but the people they live with.
Thanks for sharing your story. I look back on my life (60yo here) and think of all the times I was so trying to be all and do everything. (In which I achieved alot) Maybe I too was ADHD? I too would collapse and my body would shut down, from time to time. Though, one thing I never did was forget where I put things. I'm a visual person, and always remembered what I saw and where I last saw it. Though, if someone told me something, I wouldn't always remember what was said. Now I'm of a certain age, I just don't have the same stamina I once had. So things are much quieter in my world.
My daughter has an ADHD child An Autistic child A Child Asperger’s syndrome And my daughter has Dyslexia herself I understand what you are experiencing everyday … Find the joy and the funny in the moments and know most importantly none of you are alone … Stay strong
My hubby has the patients of a saint and always talks to me about the opposite of what I am thinking and doing. In other words, I may over dramatize something and he has the calm matter of fact view, which rewinds me and I'm able to refocus. So for instance - we were putting together an Ikea shelving unit (I know cliche) and I was in the zone of we need to get this done, we need to get everything cleaned up and the room finished...but the shelf was not going together and frustration was building. So my hubby simply said OK let's stop, take a break and come back when we can focus. I would have kept going, getting more and more frustrated, but I listened and we went back to it the next day and it went together in about 5 minutes with no frustration at all. I was putting way too many thoughts and things that needed to be done all in one basket and over stimulating the situation. Stepping back was a game changer. So good of you both to talk about this and share your thoughts and feelings. I think once you know your diagnosis you even view yourself differently, making others around you feel better as well.
My daughter, her 2 children and my younger granddaughter all have ADHD.....exhaustion is the big one I notice. You look after yourselves, all of you. Praying for peace and comfort for you Ollie and for your lovely family.
I imagine that Ollie's ADHD has allowed another side of you to develop Camilla so that you become even more complementary. If this is something that Ollie has always had then it is also part of what attracted you to him. Often you don't realise just how strong you are until you have to be. I would transform a line from 'The Crown' and say that when something seems really difficult then something worse comes along, you then realise that it wasn't so difficult at all. It must be incredible, especially for an artist, to try to discover what part of ADHD drives the creative side. Reminds me of Paula Rego and her family on a more dramatic scale but they made their difficulty into a work of art. Knowing you a bit I'm sure that you will also turn this around as your both have incredible strength and determination. God bless xxx
I think the both of you being willing to talk about Ollie's ADHD and your lives dealing with it, living with it and finding your strengths to bolster each other and have lives that achieve goals and manage to appreciate each other. Your love is making it a very supportive for him and the girls, and Camilla I take my hat off to you. You look like a beautiful blonde woman bringing the magical mansion to it's glory. You are so much more and a force to be reckoned with.
Really great and important vlog! I have been married to a man for 35 years with ADHD. 3 of my 4 children also have it. I understand this first hand and this was very good. Thank you!
You are so spot on with these symptoms especially the over-sensitivity to "suggestions" or ideas. I also live with a very talented and hyper-focused man who cannot shut down until he is rock bottom. I, on the other hand, have MS and need to have a fairly peaceful environment. Every combination of personality traits or needs is unique. He is coming around to counseling, but that kind of gentle prodding is very hard work for me and on and on and on .... Fortunately we, as you both have, an absolutely great sense of humour and can have a hard look at our selves. Thanks sooo much for sharing.
This was such a great video, thank you for making it! My identical twin daughters were diagnosed in their 30s, both with ADHD and one also with Autism, both of which brings a myriad of other things such as depression, anxiety and the like. As an undiagnosed adult who has traversed my life knowing something wasn't quite right with me, I missed it in my daughters because all of us were so good at masking to the point of our behaviors seeming "normal" to us. Still, it's a difficult thing to live with if you don't know what's going on. Name it and claim it is very fitting here. It's so great you're working together to learn about this and are able to support one another through it. Thank you for your honesty being so vulnerable with us.
Sharing is going to help a lot of people. It makes people feel less alone and you are two people who really have your sh** together, so to see how you negotiate your challenges with love and respect to one another is a beautiful example of how to be in a real marriage. As a person who has been very happily married for a long time I know it's so important to communicate and adjust to your partner. Camilla picks up the slack, but Ollie does the work so the slack doesn't get to be too much and you both grow together and blossom. Anyway...The house looks great. Renovations may not have begun yet but the house has a much more lived in feeling and now seems like a home instead of big building that people live in.
Thanks Camilla, For this wonderful follow up vlog on coping with Ollie's ADHD. Your descriptions of the daily strategies you both are using are a big plus in making life more plesant. Things and situations that are misunderstood or misread can lead to acrimony and hurt feelings . But understanding as you do now the causes you can work towards better outcomes. Your compassion and love for each other really shows in this . Yes ,humour is all important in life and is the balm that caresses the dings and slights that occur in daily living. Thank you for talking and bringing this issue to the fore. It will help many people.
I also married a man who didn’t know he had add ( no hyperactivity) when he was 35 and I was 40. It has its ups and downs. Everybody’s expectations need to change and some really annoying things never stop being annoying. But it is also fun and funny. But you need to learn patience! Get used to ask “have you taken your medicine.” Because it is important to ask when things are seeming out of control. Also, make sure he eats. Balance ( physical balance) is a little shaky and simple cooking is the bar for him. Three good simple meals are best. Hyperfocus is an issue- you need to give warning orders so he can prepared to interrupt is activities to shift to another activity. We have been married 27 years- no children! Thanks for being brave and sharing.”!
I commend you for being real, genuine, vulnerable, and sincere. Sharing openly, demystifies and most importantly helps us find commonality and to better understand one another. After all we are much more alike than different. I have a few friends with ADHD, and the eloquent way you explained what you go through as a family and as partners, has truly given me a new perspective and strategy to relate to what my friends face on a daily basis. Sending much light and positive energy your way. Fiat lux!
Thank you both for having the courage to share your experiences with ADHD. I am sure this will be very helpful to people dealing with the joys and challenges of ADHD or other mental health conditions. ❤
Thank you so much for sharing. My son in law was diagnosed with ADHD last year and after listening to you both speak about it I have a much better understanding of what he is going through and how to help him.
Thank you for helping us to un derstand so much about ADHD. It must have been quite difficult to address, you both did a great service. Love your paintings Ollie you have many great gifts.
This was the most amazing and exceptional video you both made. Very open, honest and revealing. Also difficult for someone to reveal their shortcomings and sufferings. Bravo to both of you. Ollie you are a nice person, talented and soft spoken, well liked. But Camilla, you are his angel. It takes a person with sensitivity, love, patience, understanding and consideration to keep a relationship and family staying together. You are a very special woman/wife besides the beauty you possess your inner qualities supersede all else. Bravo. The greatest blessings and wishes come your way. We love you both. love ❤️ ❤❤
Ollie you are so brave to share your condition and your journey. Camilla you are an incredible woman. You have stood by and with your man and have not allowed it to dictate your feelings toward him. Bravo to You both. Remember Camilla self care is important for you as well.
So impressed how you are both generously sharing your experiences with ADHD. So many great insights. There may be people seeing this having their own aha moments. You are both dear and caring people- thank you for having the courage to speak openly with love about your personal journey. 🌟💗
This vlog is so instructive. Well done Camilla and Ollie for being so open. I had no idea about the super tiredness that is the downside of the hyper activity. Camilla, you are a champion. Best wishes to both of you.
Thank you so much. Camilla you are an amazing woman and partner. I wasnt diagnosed till this year at 59. Life is much more managable when you know what youre dealing with.
So happy you are so open to discussing these important issues. What a great public service you are providing ❤❤❤❤❤As a step mother to an ADHD child it has been quite the journey. Thank you for presenting it in a positive and realistic light 😍😘
Thank you both so much for sharing your ADHD journey with us. Camilla, your story is truly appreciated, and your words are so honorable to Ollie and delivered with such grace and elegance. And Ollie, we are all just in awe of you and your talents…and my goodness…what a power team you both are together! I adore you. Sending so much love & bright blessings.
You guys are AMAZING! You have just done such a great service to so many! My son has ADHD and I have some ADD. I thought I knew everything due to years of dealing with this and reading everything but you just taught me a lot more! THANK YOU! I'm going to watch it again and have my son watch it also! He is 17 and so very Olie! :)
Thank you for your coping strategies . Its one of the best explanations I have seen ever. Wish as class room teachers that this was a full on unit of study that was compulsory to do. I often found it hard to watch children deal with issues as we were not trained in these methods especially as there are so many different levels of ADHD , ADD Autism etc.
Just watched your vlog. You two are of course adorable. but more than that.. willing to share your struggles to help others in the same or a similar situation. Just want to say, good luck in your ADHD journey, Ollie, Camilla and the rest of the family.
I think you are both amazing. It was wonderful to hear both sides of the story, the difficulties you both have to overcome. You have a great partnership and are lovely people. ❤
Thank you for sharing your lives so openly and honestly. Having two sons with ADHD nearly drove me crazy! I never did get very much help. My husband was the best help I had. Of course, as you said in the video, everyone has some ADHD even if they haven't been diagnosed. Camilla, you gave very good advice. Thank you! ❤
Dear Camilla and Olli ! I am moved by you video sharing your struggle. You have a brilliant Way of dealing with the Situation! Yes, one has to "RELAX to buildup ones Energy! I wish you all the disposition need, and indulgence and humour to succeed! But I know you will! And hum, me to, after a day long search, found my Glasses in the Fridge... Kudos to you Both! and if you like, tell us more about the hilarious Feast going on outside of your Manison this Night?
I truly appreciate both of you speaking of your experiences with ADHD. So many can relate, but don't feel they have a voice. I have been married to my husband for 25 years. He is bipolar. I can truly identify with some of your examples. Kudos to you both. ❤
I think your a great couple, you work together to support each other. Your frank discussion has been extremely helpful to me as I'm pretty sure I have a member of my family with ADHD also. Thank you.
Dr. Ben Lynch treats his son who has ADHD with L-tyrosine (500mg) twice a day. Too much causes insomnia. He gives this to him instead of Ritalin. He said making sure you have enough protein with each meal is important and that too many refined carbs makes it worse. Hope you can get better advice to treat naturally as much as possible. Love your vlogs!
Your home is so lovely and I know it must be a thrill to live there! Realizing in my late 50s that I have an ADHD brain was such a freeing thing! While I still have the same challenges, it explained so many things in my life and has helped me to stop beating myself up over certain things I do in the MOST complicated way possible as my brain runs off on a million tangents, hyperfocus on them for months...and then abandon the projects before I finish them. Always on to the next project, don't you know! Ollie, you are so lucky to have found the right partner to share your life, and I know that must make all the difference. Camilla, you are an angel and obviously exactly the right match for someone with Ollie's challenges. I think my ADHD was a definite advantage when I worked in the corporate world, but I do need a bit of "taking care of" with certain things. We're the visionaries and in-depth researchers the world needs, but we need a more grounded person in our lives for balance. My mother was in that role for me, and since her death I've done a bit of "drifting" at times (as Napoleon Hill put it), unable to move forward with things that will advance my business and financial position. And oh, I'm drawn like a magnet to other people with ADHD! There's a certain kinship we have with others who understand us and whose brains are also operating at that faster speed like ours do. Thank you both for sharing your lives with others who can benefit from your experience!
I have severe depression, anxiety and panic attacks. So I understand completely much of what you both are going through. I am so very glad that you shared your perspectives and ideas with us!!! I agree that we should talk about these types of illnesses more. I sincerely love you both!!!!!
My grandson (31) was recently diagnosed with ADHD, and he is SO creative and gregarious. The odd thing is that he does something creative once and will not do it again. We're waiting to see if medication works. Thank you for sharing.
Really hoping he will find it helpful and there are so many strategies too - please make sure he reads the book we recommend ADHD 2.0 - it’s a friendly, compassionate read that helps everyone know they’re not alone. Xx
Such an interesting watch. Thank you so much for sharing your family struggles. Would it be possible to know what sort of therapy you are having as it would be extremely beneficial to our family as my adult daughter has struggled with ADHD since very young? The video was heartfelt and raw and truly showed both your personalities in a natural and radiant light.
The main help for us has been educating the whole family about it - reading ADHD 2:0, ADDitude magazine online, talking to the psychiatrist. These few things go a long way. Xx
Hi from Tasmania, I'm so happy the amazing Ollie has such a supportive beautiful wife in Camilla, bless you both, your home is stunning, be kind to each other.🙏❤️
❤😅does anyone find that during hyperfocus, communication is lacking? because the thinking is so targeted. So I really get when Ollie is 'missed'. Great video!😊
Thank you so much for talking about ADHD people and families. My son is ADJD and probably myself as well. Ollie and Camila, you’re a very understanding and sensitive couple.
You have an inspirational relationship. You are both admirable to discuss such difficult subject matter. Your strengths help each other. Understanding each other's sensitivities is always a work in progress. Thank you for sharing such a sensitive thing. It is massively important that people learn to be more sensitive to others....our world will be better.
That was very brave and helpful. I'm like Ollie and others just don't understand. Fighting what's natural feels like not being honest. How wonderful Ollie has Camilla. ❤
Wow you two are amazing! Thankyou so much for this! For all of us who have loved ones with the same diagnosis! Looking forward to your next vlog, enjoy them so much!
My Grandson is 18 and is in his senior year in high school, he has ADHD and he struggles with this everyday, I am sending your blogs to him…thank you so much❤️
Thank you so much for sharing because of your open and honest reveal, i was able to recognise and diagnose myself. I am a 49 year old woman who’s whole life has started to make sense. I wish you all the best in your healing process and bless you for being vulnerable enough to share so others may receive help. Eternally greatfull !
Thank you Ollie and Camilla for using your RU-vid platform to highlight ADHD. It's like someone opened a huge door and I can see myself properly for the first time. I'm dyslexic, although I can read and write (spelling isn't that good) quietly on my own. And now I think I can understand my scatalogical and hyper focus sides better. Because of you dear people I'm going to get help. God Bless you all.
Camilla thank you so much for sharing! In the past three years my husband and both my teenage daughter and son have been diagnosed with ADHD. This was very helpful!
