Once a person shows me their true colors, there is no going back. You can’t unsee….you can’t unhear….all of the stuff that they did to you. Give them another chance, and they’ll only see it as a means to screw you over twice as bad as before…..and they’ll blame YOU for being naive enough to allow them back in.
@@Ark-ys2up……Yeah, I understand. But I had my own reasons as to why I wrestled with going no contact in the beginning. Years ago, before I even saw one video on narcissism/gray rock/going no contact/etc., I instinctively just knew that I needed to distance myself from my family of birth….they were abusive….I NEEDED to step back, break free from their nonsense. When one of my sisters was trying to figure out why I didn’t want to talk to any of them anymore, or have anything to do with them, I tried to explain to her that I just couldn’t ‘do this’ anymore! If nothing else, I just NEEDED a ‘time out’….time to get my thoughts together and try to understand just what I was dealing here. It wasn’t until over ten years later after that, that I would start seeing videos on narcissism. Now, my siblings were starting to break off contact with me…..and this time, I understood what I was dealing with. Only, their discard was false…..they did it just to see how I would react. When they saw that I didn’t react at all, and that I didn’t try to reinitiate contact, they kept trying to reach out to me. I ignored their attempts…..except for one time with my oldest sister. I responded to one of her many letters…..just to ‘test’ her. Oh boy! Her response showed me that she was only trying to make contact to get ‘supply’. She didn’t care at all. Her response was extremely delusional, angrily filled with a twisted reality of how things really happened, filled with distortions and outright lies, transferring her own b.s. onto me. It was crazy-making for sure! What she wrote showed me that there is no way I could ever be in a healthy relationship with her ever again. It seriously was scary delusional, what she wrote! I would not feel safe around any of them ever again. I truly feel that my siblings are not only narcissists, but psychopaths as well. I won’t go into the things that they have done, here…..but when I have in the past, people commented that they aren’t narcissists, they are criminals. Yeah, they have done some crazy stuff! Well, that’s why I said that I feel that they are psychopaths…..and the things that they do, they feel no guilt over, rather, they feel entitled to do them and they feel justified. Yeah, I need to just stay away from them for my own safety…..they are THAT messed up. So my guilt has dissipated. My oldest sister is a religious narcissist, which is where she twists scriptures to suit her agenda…..to try to guilt me into doing her bidding…..but thankfully, I understand this and see though this now, thanks to watching many videos on here about how these monsters think/work. People like Danish, are doing God’s work to help us heal from these monsters, and take our power back.
Those DEMANS, do Know what's RIGHT from WRONG.So they do not deserve ANY CHANCES ,what soever .THEY ALSO KNOW THAT THEY'RE INDEED DAMAGING PEOPLE'S LIFE.They should have a dose of their OWN MEDICINE,because no one is responsible for their CHILDHOOD TRAUMA. Because some of them CHOOSE TO BE THAT WAY FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES.THEY WILL HAVE TO LIVE WITH THAT. GIVE THEM NO. CHANCES.
There are so many narcissists in the world (undiagnosed) that I think it is important to learn how to be around them. It would be impossible to avoid them.
I have some I can’t get rid of. They’ve been nice for years, with just a few cracks here and there. I have no illusions though. I’ve caught them saying crap about me when they thought I wasn’t around. They are losers.
I've witnessed this between my narc mother and her customers, many of whom are also narcs...they are each other's supply. The displays of attention, flattery, gift giving, favors between them...very transactional and artificial.
The literature on this specific topic is pretty clear. A narcissist only re-idealizes you for two reasons. The first and most likely reason is to inflict punishment upon you for causing them narcissistic injury during the devaluation stage. The second reason is because they can’t find another target to form a new shared fantasy with so they hoover you back to reestablish the old one. The second reason does not exclude the punishment though. They will definitely inflict their form of justice onto you regardless of what you did because they live only in their delusions and usually you’ve not done anything to warrant such punishment. If you mortified the narcissist he won’t hoover you. If it seems like you’re being hoovered and yet you’ve caused him mortification then he’s absolutely going to punish you.
@@jsunnys1936 I finally learned to steer clear of 'charm'. If someone is charming it is a huge red flag. Respect yourself and forgive yourself. You don't need a charming person, you need to love yourself 💖
@@fluffbabiesRcrazy Why is it that if someone is charming, it is a huge red flag? Please help me understand this so that I could know what to do with my next relationship, thanks!
In their false sense of self and reality, they believed through the love bombing stage that their fake actions were actually showing you they valued you but if none of it is real, you're right! You can't revalue someone or something that was never valued in the first place, but everything with a narcissist is an illusion...It seems real buy it's a facade
I'm so glad this was explained because it was very puzzling when my ex said to me after returning back into my life after he discarded me, was that he fell back in love again, and it was confusing because I never stopped having feelings for him and when it's real you can not turn love on and off like a switch...
Yes it is hard. He is seeing low hanging fruit in same apartment building. I pray His Karma is swift and severe. Of all places..he was determined to destroy me, But Lord Jesus have kept me, mind and health. I am looking to move out soon.
It is sad to say that you have to put distance between you and them because they will use you in any way they possibly can Even if it is to humiliate you for a laugh it's not funny but yes they will say things that hurt you and other people laugh very true.
Your right. Narc said something in front of some people that really targeted my character. When I asked them later why they would say such a thing? They said that those people knew it was just a joke. Really?! They looked at me side ways. These narcs get off putting you in an awkward positions in public to elevate themselves . Sick of them and their crap!
This is what I say: I don't want to be judged in any way. I don't want to be told I'm stupid, nor that I'm intelligent. I want to be seen, cared for and helped
Me either, how weird. Another channel was saying they are also worse codependents than the victim. Amazing revelations. Glad I keep getting as distant as possible from them.
Dang, I didn’t realize trauma bonds of this type could go both ways . . . that could explain some things. Maybe I wasn’t crazy for thinking that he did care in SOME way. Just not in the right way 😔 Thanks for this 🙏🏼
I have been following your videos for a long time you are so true I have experienced their abuse I am in the healing process now thank to Jesus Christ being in my life sign Cynthia Smith
Day by Day real a valuable study and a perfect prediction you give hands off sir 👍 Each word is true, Please also explain that just bz of there unjustice behavior can we not claim? Since it's just like exploitation.... 😢
Actually some of the exploitations perpetrated constitute legally actionable crimes. It would depend on what the narcissist has done, the laws in your area, etc. My personal attitude is that when there is a pattern and intent, if it is actionable and you can stomach the unsavory aspect of entering the adversarial arena of the court system and can find and hire a competent advocate, pursuing justice is the right thing to do for the sake of a civil society. Narcissists do not care about the harms they perpetrate on other people. Show the arrogant and selfish exploitative conscienceless deceptive and arrogant baddies that they are unwise in their choices and that they will be exposed for what crimes that have done and held to account. If someone does not do this, they will continue to wreak their criminal havoc on others, until they wake up and realize they are not above the law and it is wrong to harm. And, frankly, some of them may never care, so rigidly they are bound to their own ignorance and entitlement, and a judge could see this and perhaps remove them legally from society, to protect society from the psychopathic/sociopathic perps.
Three months of no contact and I got two calls around midnight from her on a Saturday. She got no reply infact she is blocked but my voicemail apps tells me when a blocked caller calls. If you go back you are telling them you want another ride on the crazy train...stay stong and move on.
a status symbol, look at there accomplishments, no thanks to our good hearta. look how well hes doing, all that support we gave him. and so on and on. once u do wrong then bam. ur disrespectful and bl bla bal. we have heard all this to long.
