Danish, I’ve watched several experts speak on this topic, but your videos just hit different. I appreciate you turning your negative upbringing & experiences into a positive, healing & transformative impact on people you may never meet. Thanks for never giving up. God bless you.
I had a similar "cab driver" experience where I was working at a cash register when a customer, with others in line before and after her, decided to go completely ballistic, yelling and belittling me relentlessly. My reaction was to continue smiling, as I had done with all customers before her, and she continued on and on for minutes. I had no inclination to react to her tirade, whatsoever. I could see that she had a problem, unable to interact with kindness or any amount of decency but I considered that to be her problem, not mine. Before she was finished, she not only calmed down but apologized and told me I am a "nice person." Not quite the reaction you received from your cab driver, but I can tell you the effect of not reacting to severe attack from a crazy person IS powerful. I recommend it.
It’s the other way round , with the cab driver the situation was quite the same. He gave the money back to Darnish and some kind of tip , but event then you should show no reaction or validation to that
So true and totally relatable. They thrive on negative reactions from their victims, that's their real food. Thanks for addressing this topic and sharing your experience with us 🙏🏻🤍
I do exactly what you do when dealing with a narcissistic or nasty person, and it works great. It keeps me from getting upset and embroiled in a clown show, and it starves them of the oxygen that they are craving. I don't owe them my throat or my self-respect or my dignity. Thank you for the great episode.
I don't think it's brainwashed....but the parents don't want to listen to what is a 5:32 narcissist. is about or the excuses of that's our child. Because deep down they're are suffering just dont know how to say enough is enough to her. I believe we suffered in silence at some point of the narc relationship. But I know exactly what you're saying.
My father in law is a ex pastor and was completely in control of our lives. My mother in law left him 30 years ago and he always tries to make her look bad after all these years! Their 3 sons are so broken to what he has done by physical abuse and emotional abuse that they are afraid of him and how he would harm and abuse again. My husband is 65 years old and he is still terrified of his dad. We thankfully live a state away The pain that this man inflicts on his family is, well is so hurtful . 💔
Sir again and again you convey the truth....no councellor told me ...and i suffered 😂😂😂.. your vedios are like angel sent by god to me and how to save myself now❤🎉🎉🎉
Your experience with the cab driver is a perfect example of what we go through on a larger scale when it’s someone close to you stealing large amounts of money and then raging when you ask them about it….like you have no right to even ask. They don’t want any questions asked about their criminality. It’s a sick but effective technique because rages intimidate and are terrifying.
Even when you have proof…. I had bank statements showing my sister made herself sole beneficiary on my elderly dad’s accounts. She first tried saying it was an accident. When that didn’t work she said she was going to split it. Eventually she went into a screaming tearful rage saying I betrayed her. How is her name being sole beneficiary my betrayal? She was/is plotting to steal the inheritance and she got busted, plain and simple. Now I’m on the end of a nasty smear campaign. She’s telling whoever that will listen that I’m “money hungry”.
@@jbrown2908 Exactly! The alternate universe is precisely where they live. Whatever proof you have for any bad behavior... If you present it to them, they will shoot back with even bigger bullets, using blame shifting. A narcissist is always the victim and has never done anything wrong. I have accepted that we live on two different planets. Mine just doesn't rotate around hers anymore. 🪐
@@lisaatkinson6276 Wow. That's really turning things upside down. I just wrote another comment about my inheritance situation. Being "money hungry" is what I've heard too from a person who wanted to split everything before my mother was buried. Projection at its best.
We are going through this with my brother. He doesnt steal but demands money violently from my mother claiming he has loans to pay.......he doesn't want to be asked anything when I ask he rages and gets super upset
Thank you, I watch you to remind me not to react. I am dealing with a neighbour who is an older narcissist. Her anger towards me is over the top. I am her primary caregiver and with your help I have set boundaries to protect myself. I show up only the times I set and it never fails she is always trying to start an argument. Thank you for your videos, they have helped me so much over the years.
Yep. That's why one should put up with their ab_se and rage. Being cut off, the narcissist is stressed. What should she tell to all the relatives? If they e.g. ask about me and she has to say she doesn't know? I know what she will tell. "There was a little misunderstanding" and I got hurt for no reason. I will come back. This is what she told about her own daughter who had to cut her off because of the same reason. Right now, I'm hoping to get inheritance issues settled. After that, I have no need to have any form of communication with her.
The last minute of the video described my mother perfectly. Never willing to look within and see the emptiness and begin with themselves. That would take courage, and like all bullies they're scared cowards. I am and always was since a child quite stoic and quiet when I need to be and that would drive my mother into a rage. I experienced as a young boy many times just walking into a room and having physically grown "adults" start screaming and yelling, or when everyone left the room come up to me and say "you think you're better than me?" This traumatized me into punishing myself, telling myself not to be me because I make these people angry. Now I am learning what I was dealing with then and it was them not me. Narcissistic rage is very frightening and almost debilitating for me.
I am so sorry for what you went through! I cannot count how many times I was told, “you think you’re better than everybody else.“ It was so hurtful and so untrue and it literally rewired my insides and made me try to act in a completely different way so that my family wouldn’t bully me. Nothing I did or said ever was good enough. I worked really hard and did well in my career and of course their response to that was “all you care about is money and all you want is inheritance“ … I was self-sufficient and never took any money from them, so how could they say something like that… it used to mess with my head so bad and I would spin myself into absolute trauma, trying to prove to them that the things they were saying were not true which probably made me look like a lunatic because I would cry and get so upset to think that these people who I loved actually thought I wished them dead so I could have their money!! It was such a horrible mind screw. Why do they always hold money or as a child inheritance over your head. I guess it’s for control. I literally was threatened on a consistent basis to be sent away, disowned or disinherited. Even as a young child I would be told that and never understood what disinherited meant. I used to think it meant they would just cease my existence somehow through paperwork. Maybe leave me on the street somewhere or a bus stop with no proof of my name or having a family…it was scary to think about every single day. There wasn’t a week that went by that comments like that weren’t made. It just became too much so I severed all ties with those people. Even typing this comment makes my blood pressure go up and I get those anxious swirling feelings in my stomach which I haven’t had for years. Wow the body really does keep the score. It’s all still in my body but working hard to get rid of it every day. And then, they reach out and try to contact me really? I was so awful. They never had anything good to say about me and then when I left, they started calling and texting. They are just such sick evil people. They just want somebody they can treat like dirt who will take it and shut up about it so they can like offload all their misery.
@@thirstonhowellthebird You have been through a lot. I do understand how you feel and how hurtful memories cause bodily symptoms. A very uncomfortable feeling, heart pounding and stomach feels turned upside down. I also have heard things like "my money is good enough" from my mom. My mom passed away two years ago. The one who was eager to settle inheritance issues first before arranging the funeral (!) was my older narcissistic sibling. After almost a year, she blamed me for being money-hungry and also telling me that I got enough from my parents while they were alive and that I don't deserve to get anything. Things are still not settled (her family has to pay me out, they took over mom's property). I've lived abroad for ages, supporting myself, paying off my student loan, even lending her money from time to time. I'm so fed up with all this and even thinking of her and her insults can make my blood boil. I'm working on staying calm, recognizing that she is a highly disturbed individual and I should just ignore whatever she writes or says. I'm gradually getting there...
@@dorisblaubucht4438 that sounds exactly like what happened in my family and same with the older sibling. I severed ties the very day my parent died because I knew that exactly what you are going through is what would happen and for me it just wasn’t worth it. I literally blocked phone numbers emails. They had zero access to me and it took about a year for my central nervous system to calm down. Then of course the memories come flooding in of things they did that were so horrible that you really didn’t bring to the surface when you were around them because it was too awful. Anyway gosh I know what you’re going through and you sure would heal faster if you just threw up your hands and said you know what I’m done take it keep it the money isn’t worth it let them have it.
Thank you so much Danish. I can relate to what you’ve said so well. The best strategy to beat the narcissist at their own game is not to play the game.
You rock! Best coach ever. Are you really explain this stuff very well and you're funny... And this is great help to stand up to these bullies. God bless you and thank you
Both my parents are and were narcissistic psychopaths and when they have children their envy and control violence and mental health goes out the window. As a survivor I tried to take my own life several times growing up after my mother pushed me to the edge and had implanted I do so my whole life. The manipulation is deep. How do you defend yourself as a 2-5 year old? They use other siblings to attack you. Than nieces and nephews aunts and uncles. Eventually they destroy every single relationship you have and you are left with nothing but having to put your life back together if you are still alive.
So, weird I had an argument w my Dad as he baited me…by forcing his will onto me…..didn’t see that coming. I stood my ground. Church was telling me to humble myself… horrible advice! I told him he was a horrible person Due to his character…… So weird how this narcissist said that about the woman he was abusing…
"Church was telling me to humble myself." Religious advice only works when you're dealing with an honorable person trying to do the right thing. Church advice DOES NOT WORK on evil people like narcissists!
I have damaged a narcisist brother just by reminding him that he was a bad brother when we were growing up, And that's what im going to keep on doing, he does insane
I was with (another) narcissist 6+ years ago. He hadn't wanted to build me a porch yet he was an unemployed construction worker at the time but I nagged and he did it. I gave him $300 for his labor. After I broke up with him, he sent me a check for $300 and I just cashed it.
That’s very rare for a narcissist. They place high value on money and are stingy. However, you really did burn that bridge, while he was looking to reel you back in to the relationship on some level. 🤓
Guys act so dumb, they forget we're not guys ourselves and think they can get away with acting 👍 idiots, that'll somehow fly but nay, takes all your energy but 🌋 ... Least he might be quiet for a bit...
U can't afford to stay. Even worse. Secretly find help & get the hell out of there. As long as Your there, U keep the door open for more abuse. Good luck❤
Try to find help from others and get out of there. If you stay, you will be breaking emotionally everyday. We can't live in dysfunction and still remain sane.
When they are raging, they just can't stfu. They go on and on and on.... I am looking like, really.. still going.🤦🏽 I just give a smirk like they usually give me and walk away. Put music in my ears. Play a video game. Anything other than pay that foolishness attention ❤
I started to look for solutions for narcissist abuse, but then realized how many youtubers are providing help ANGRILY because they themselves were also victims. This topic might have brought in the most empathetic RU-vid videos as I can tell the pain and anger from all these "experts", and not just psychology information!! 😍😅
When I say that my life is worse than Bruce Wayne...I mean that. I am 6 2 200 lbs and I live in the real Gotham city. I'm gonna do my part...this is my city and I'm completely crazy. The very people who were supposed to protect me we're the worst humans imaginable.
@@jbrown2908 There are so many don'tS... that's another one. The main thing is not giving them any kind of emotions. Best thing is go no contact because no one can't heal close to a narcissists. They will keep on picking on you until they get a reaction because they know how to get on your nerves. Grey rock is just for a while. It doesn't work in the long run.
they keep digging up information abt me and when i dont reply they tattle to the other flatmates about me. its seriously exhausting. i wish to go to someplace far away to avoid these kind of people
Fabulous advice, I have had 2 relationships with narcissists, by the time I was into the relationship with the second one I applied lessons I had learnt from the first and didn't react to the tempers and rages, just stayed calm and completely disinterested in the crap they were spouting, totally disarming her, then I would start a conversation about something else as if nothing had happened
Great example with that cab driver. I had a surprise meeting with a narcissist who had been asking about my daughter on a few occasions I perceive you are interested in my daughter but I want you to know she is married. He began to lose it denying saying all kinds of crazy things following me. I said ok ok but my fear level was up I didn’t show it then a friend came near and took his attention to something else 😅
Enjoyed to hear how you handled the cab driver; you have alot to give with your experience w/ Narcisstic parents,glad you healed & made it through this abuse. Thanks for sharing.
All the things you pointed out, Sir, were so true! It happened to me! Initially, I underwent so much hurt/pain, but now, I'm learning to counteract, just the way you suggested/taught. It's just a matter of time, I am preparing to leave this Narc for good.
Danish, can you do a video on how many narcissists have bad hygiene (at least from my experience)? Is this a commonality among them? It seems to me it's a sign of their ego and blatant disregard for others...
Oh my goodness that’s wild that you brought that up. One of the ex narcissists that I dated when I went over to his house and opened his microwave it was totally crusted over on all sides and the bottom from grease and splattering food. I would say a fourth of an inch thick. It truly was the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen in my life but at the time I was so in love with him that I thought oh how cute he’s just a macho guy who doesn’t want to clean. No, not a macho guy who doesn’t want to clean. I think he must’ve thought cleaning was beneath him. I just don’t even know what that was but we broke up not long after that. It was the weirdest thing though. Who would let their microwave get that nasty. Years and years of food in that microwave of course being the diligent codependent that I was at the time I made it my mission to clean it and make it spotless. Did I get a thank you. I did not.
if a (supposedly!) professional driver is starting to drive irrationally, I get out of the car as fast as possible! otherwise, brilliant reaction! well done!
I remember when the narcissist was here. He made me so annoyed while I was paying the lady at the cash register. He's treating me like I don't know how to use my credit card. I became a super nova. I told him in a loud voice. Stop telling me what to do. It's not your credit card. Let me figure it out. He disappeared like a bubble. I guess he got embarrassed. There were too many people on the line looking at him.
Great lesson, I am going to save this to remind me. Yesterday, my daughter told me same points. I stopped reacting but but his words and deeds are hurting me a lot. Cursing him
I left a covert narcissist 7 years ago. The punishment I believe is law breaking. Tapped into my phone I believe, definitely character defamation, triangulation,word salad and flying monkeys all in my work place. I'm being threatened in the narcissistic way of saying something without saying it directly like watch out boy she'll chew you up just saying it around you etc. I've been dealing with this for 26 years now. I just didn't know it was her as she was covert about it and used flying monkeys and still is. I would LOVE to tell my story to get it out there and to get help dealing with this. I do not want to leave my job but it's getting out of control. I have soooooooo much more to tell as it's been 26 to 27 years now.
Thank you for sharing a real time experience. This explains a similar situation I had early on in my relationship. I had asked a simple question and what I witnessed was nothing short of bizarre, over the top reaction. It’s puzzled me for several years, but now I totally get it. It almost ruined the whole day for him. He was deeply troubled and seemed to ruminate and struggle. It was bizarre.
If u can leave, pls do, but ther are different circumstances that may prevent u from doing this. I agree with Danish, if u disconnect urself, it is for ur health & sanity. Knowing u no longer are interested in their dramatics, will drive them totally crazy. U don't hv to repeatedly tell them they wer wrong; they already know that. The disconnect & indifference are for u, not them
That guy in the video sounded exactly ad my soon to be ex husband. I'm so thankful to God for taking me out of that situation even in the not most ideal way.
I agree with you. Many years ago I didn't have transportation and I used cab service once in awhile to get home from work. I just moved to a new area and was not familiar with the surroundings. It was also getting dark. I gave the cab driver ny address and he "Acted" as if he was lost and kept driving around. I am sure I paid him a lot more then I should have. It did matter to me because I am an honest person, and I was very poor at the time. I don't like being used or taken advantage of.
I dont know if it is strange but as I grew older I felt some fascination when I triggered my father to respond negatively and let him show his own self to the world without me explaining. In short I felt revenge when he embarassed himself from overreacting. He doesn't want me to challenge his opinion and always wanted a yes response. Yet I knew disaster is on its way but I felt good somehow I was able to show his evil side to the world. In which he always hide his true self as good and righteous.
Yesterday he went to pick up our two little kids from the school without informing me. Mind tou, I have no idea where he lives. I was just lucky the school didn't allow it and called to inform me. It was soooo chaotic, embarrassing, the manipulation was off the chain. I scooped up the children and LEFT!
sociopathy disorders also do a lot of small criminal behaviour. Like 2 dollars or whatever, but they are ALWAYS looking at cheating or stealing or doing something criminal and then calling it "minor", it's their craving for control of others instead of working at their own control of themselves.
I was charged more than double the price around 10 days ago. I bought organic kale at our local market. I don't think that was just a mistake. I even went back but the market was closed already. I'll never go back to this merchant. 🤑🤑
Going through the strangest "break-up"/discard ..Wednesday - followup for questionable results of 1st mammo- lump found. He sends a "heartfelt" email sending love and well wishes TWO DAYS LATER. I respond with a brief "Thanks" He responds ""How was the gang-bang?" I recalled him telling me a story of an ex who immediately went out and had a gang-bang after they broke up. I believed him. Now I know, he's effed in the head. 🤯 If he's accusing me, does this mean he had a gang-bang? LOL
You don’t need that stress. He’s messing with your head. 2 days later? that says, you’re not important enough to him. When they tell you who they are believe them. Banging is a sign of chauvinism. Get rid of him, before he ruins your life. That was disrespectful of him. 🗑 Stay open to someone who treats you with respect and decency.
Can't beat yourself up I've kicked myself in the Ass many times but for falling in to the Trap of my Narcisse I have mastered the Narcisse Games 🤐took back my POWER🎉🎉🎉🎉
I said some mean things in my reactions. If I had been recorded it would have looked unhinged and I know that. Not trying to defend myself but I know deep down I was just pushed for the last time. It plays over in my head and I tried to leave with some dignity. If only I could have been granted that final night alone like I needed. But that would never happen, the control was always in her favor. That video you showed triggered some shame in me. However I forgive myself and all I can do is move forward and continue getting the help I so desperately need.
I was a passenger in my CEOs Jaguar. He drove at full speed on the freeway, the slammed on the brakes behind the car in front He did this over and over. What do you think he was trying to accomplish? I was stoic We set the record for a start up going out of business Got $2 M
@@jbrown2908 I figured it was some sort of personality test. Test how I would react. But Danish made me think maybe it was some sort of narc behavior disorder. Anyway, that Start Up was a disaster.
Danish thank u for your information I am suffering same things from so many years by my narc husband but with your videos I am able to understand it what's this xnd how to deal with it thank u bro God bless you
Very good and helpful video as always! I have one question, what is the signal you gave the driver by accepting the money silently, and what signal would you have given if you would even have completely ignored his attempts at giving the money to you? How would have both situations made the driver feel? I ask this, because when you completely ignore the narc in general (e.g. not responding to a silent treatment in a relationship), there is still a lot of non verbal communication going on, such as social media posts, body language in case of irl etc. In what situations is this form of non verbal communication good and when is it not.
I'm curious.. If somehow you had magically known the cab driver is narcissistic when you entered his car, would you have asked about the base fare knowing it would trigger him? There's a narc in my friend group, he puts me down in front of others to make himself feel better.. bigger... because I suspect his grandiosity is a cover for a lack of worth. I know I could trigger his shame with just sharing good news about a success at work. He would never know my motive is to irk him, I'm just telling him good news as a "good friend" as he calls me, but it would definitely rub him raw. He wouldn't be able to react poorly if I dropped the good news of a promotion in front of other friends, actual friends who would congratulate me. Should I?
