What Men And Women Need To Know About Each Other By Dr. Yasir Qadhi ISLAM: the pursuit of happiness 2013 ICNA-MAS Convention, Hartford, CT Facebook; icna Twitter: icna Donate: www.icna.org/donation/ Volunteer: www.icna.org/volunteer/
Sister Im sorry for everything that happened. Inshallah you will get what you deserve. But remember sister not all women are perfect also. There are exceptions for everything so lets look at the positives. May allah be pleased with us
Years ago I thought I had the perfect man for me just before we were to marry Allah broke my heart by not allowing us to marry in the end he6 told me he will hit me if I don't do as he said lied on islam saying it was Islamic when in fact his father told him I was raised in USA so I will be stubborn and ungrateful so hitting me will make me submit my response unless u want to bury ur son don't advise him in such ways cultrally
This was wonderful message it made me cry because my husband has been asking that I be more respectful to him and I've not been getting the big picture now after I lesson to this I understand my part as a wife and my husband is writing a book.
Not all men give back to the women they chose to marry even if the wife is really a good woman..some wanna surrender and be submissive but the husband isnt innocent..and its hurts the amount of grief and forgiveness a woman must carry as a wife especially when being a mother to is like carrying a massive burden through her life...but we must always allow our husbands to make everything fixed.. Allah subhana wa tala knows best
Shouldn’t even have an ego problem everyone must humble no ego problem is MashaAllah pride isn’t good so let’s speak real husband and wife must humble period
Thank you for the lecture. Respecting one's husband also means respectfully providing inputs for the household decisions, keeping in mind he is the final decision maker. Women love their inputs to be valued
Whenever I am asked what marriage advice I can give to a new bride, I tell her, "Always make your husband feel like he is the luckiest man in the world for having you as a wife." In shaa Allah, they will both be happy of the outcome.
Mrs D, I agree with you but I would like to also clarify that some men AND women take this to heart and start acting as if they are indeed "blessed" because they DESERVE it (to be made feel loved and respected). I was told that I was "a gift from GOD", "a prayer answered", "the best wife a man can ask or wish for" yet I was left feeling used and lied to by the actions or lack of any (i know it is kinda confusing) in that relationship. Relationship is a give and take always absolutely NO EXCEPTIONS. If you don't feel reciprocated then you should reevaluate it and take actions. My advice should be if the other party is not matching your effort then you should excuse yourself and leave the "table" .
Masha Allah subhana Allah may peace and Allah's blessings be upon prophet Mohammad (S.A.W) is a slave and a messenger of Allah and he is Allah's most beloved messenger may Allah reward you and bless you and increase you in knowledge and wisdom Asalaam Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarkatuh
🙂yes when u give respect to a woman she will automatically respect u and defend the husbands honour from her heart and love him deeply because he gives her respect
The issue is not about men, it is about your perspective of men. There are good and bad men likewise women. Hence, determine who you are and understand ow your relationship with men should be.
i swear i have read many islamic books and lectures on marriage but this one makes lot of sense. For those who are against his teaching, he just touched upon the basic and fundamental human psychology. You can find plenty of resources on other things like love, romance etc. But everything else is built on these fundamentals and if they are missed, nothing else work
Also, he said clearly around 14:35 not to stay "silent" and never point out mistakes; just be chill and think before you speak. Non muslim marriage counselors will tell you the same. I've read and heard it all before. Use "I" instead of "you".
what if husband is very abusive, so women still have to let him do the same mistake or his abusive action. when is she going to say no more mistake. or what if husband drinks every night and come to his wife and beating her and it goes over and over, is she still going to just stay quite and let her husband do whatever he wants to do. why can't women protest to her husband. I understand men have bigger ego than women, but why men only deserve respect from women. why can't women get same respect from her husband. why should men only get to do the mistakes and why can't a woman make a mistake. why can't women get the same respect from her husband. is LOVE is enough for women??? I don't think so. relationship works when both have respect to each other. it should be the basic needs from both gender. I understand men and women are not same and they don't have same emotions and I also understand in Islam men is the protector of the house and head of the house. then what about the women? yes we (women) are also responsible for the house and have ability to understand and obey their husband. so, if a women do whatever what her husband wants her to do even it is a bad and evil job, she still respect him, but he doesn't give love back to his wife. where the relationship end up with? thats my concern from this lecture.
I think you’re getting confused between certain things. There are small mistakes that ( like the example given) can be neglected and shouldn’t be made big. Then there are some sins like being abusive, alcoholic, irresponsible etc. these call for actions. And the wife must take a stand and talk to her husband as well as her family for her safety as well. You shouldn’t extrapolate things out of context.
And see that he’s talking about small issues that become big unnecessarily. He’s not currently talking about really big issues such as the ones you’ve mentioned.
Lol, it didn't came as a shock to me that men have big egos.. there is quote I remember haha. ''women are considered fragile but I’ve never seen anything as easily wounded as a man’s ego'' Honestly it's really hard for me to not hate them for this reason. LOL
Taking next Gen. Anniversary earring with family stating out like now depress can't sit in restaurants so now the women can look for roses yes and what
There is definitely not enough balance here, the suggestion that is made will not result in a good marriage. You have to interpret this speech with balance and wisely to get good out of it.
What if he never learns from his mistakes and keeps doing it over and over? Obviously he making everyones life around him miserable but we respect him and suffer in silence.
Suffering in silence is your decision sister. The Quran says that you are allowed to get a divorce as a woman also if you tried every possible way. What should a man do if a woman never learns from her mistake ?
Take a sociology class and then you'll understand why those "muslim" countries are in turmoil. Anyway, it was definitely wrong of him to use the words "ego" and "male pride". It would have been more accurate if he simply said "you hurt your husband's feelings." Because what he was describing right after he mentioned ego and pride, were really just his feelings of being able to take care of his wife, not ego and pride. Ego has NO room in Islam, male or female.
Same with the part about just lending your wife an ear instead of trying to solve her problems for her; you can find it in (non Islamic) articles, books, and hear it from counselors. Yet subhanAllah we had all this info from God and His Prophet.
We read the book first Gen ask Muslim women around the world what happened. Danisle you are putting hot sauce Dansile nothing about ISLAM WE MUST LOOK AT WOMEN WHO YOU MEN ADMIRE THANK YOU ASK WHAT HAPPENDED TO US AND WHAT THE CHILDREN HAVE TO SAY YOU WANT US TO BE LIKE YOU THEY FELL SORRY FOR US HOW WE INDURE
I disagree with this shaiykh with his very first words. They are misleading! It expressed his ego he brought as a male from his cultural perspective . Both husband and wife wants respect and love from each other. Respect is not only for man , why you think that wife doesn’t wants respect only love , it’s two different thing , we love our pet , doesn’t respect them . Wife isn’t a pet . Thank you .
I thought most people in Muslim majority countries are fulfilling their gender roles… then why are these countries in constant turmoil and instability. I guess it’s the wives fault for all the nagging. This lecture just shows that a women needs to be silent and agree with her husband even if he is wrong just to satisfy his ego. Yet, people like Yasir will tell you in another lecture to learn to control your ego for the sake of Allah and not act like an immature child.
This speech isnt balanced. I think hes going too extreme throughout. He is not showing explicitly the nuiance of the relationship, and that is problematic.
This is about emotions more than it is about power. Power is I think more nuianced than youre making explicit here. Implicitly, its more clear I think. Idk, I dont find this to be a perfect speech or completely truthful or all that close to any of that.
Jaya but you seem to contradict yourself. You said you don't need any religion to teach you about male and female relationship and yet you are proud of your Indian culture. However we know that your Indian culture comes from Hinduism so it's based on a religious value. Now what you see what is not a full scope. However if we were to compare Hinduism treatment of women and Islamic treatment of women we could see from the scriptures which religion treats women better. Would you like a compare?
Wallahi I love this sheikh for the sake of Allah but all I hear in this lecture is be careful, don't hurt the man's ego. This is one of sexist lecturers ever.
His whole point is each sex has a role that makes a healthy marriage. How come you only extracted the sexism part from this entire video? May Allah bless you.
lost all of my respect towards you. teaching the wrong thing to girls. this was problematic message. a relationship needs to be balanced, not a husband reigning over his wife. should delete this video.
Sister please before deciding on anything do your research extensively. And please Respect Our Shaykh. He has dedicated to learning and propagating the teachings of Allah and his prophet SAW. Afwan
