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Honestly, the secret to a successful relationship is saying what you want, and be willing to walk away if you don't get it. Love can't be forced, it needs to be shown in a way that lets the other person be free to come to you. That shows self respect, and respect for the other person as well. I know it's not easy cause we tend to be emotional beings, but patience really helps when dating. Also, be nice when interacting... Noone wants someone who is "salty". I'm 40 and still dating, and by no means perfect, but once I started thinking with this mindset it's definitely improved my dating life.
I agree about self respect, but just walking away when you're bored or "it's just not working out" just teaches you to rely on the chemical high of falling in love, and lowers your standard of who gets your heart
Very true. It would have been so easy to start acting "bitchy" and play games to test how much he really loved her. Very inspiring what she did instead, with much respect and love toward herself and him too.
So brave of Irene to admit how she was shaking inside...there’s incredible strength in being that vulnerable and being prepared to hear what you possibly don’t want to hear. Happy anniversary 💕
I did the same thing after waiting 2 yrs. and it was the second time we'd spent 2 yrs. together, with a 6 yr. break in the middle. I got the other answer, the one you never want to hear. In fact he ran without giving me closure, and I fell apart for a very long time, but at least he never saw it. You have to be ready for it not to end the way you want.
@@How.Dare.You. Alyssa meant it was brave of her to have that hard conversation 10 years ago. Not that it's brave now to admit how she felt at the time....
Yes , she was shaking inside , thats what a man should realize, even though we put on a brave face , we don't want guys to leave us and it is very insensitive and selfish of a guy to make a woman through this, just coz he is not certain of a commitment after enjoying all the benefits
This is what an emotionally mature woman looks like; no games, words or tricks uttered recklessly. Just honest & calm truth. Separate any condition that he must be 'the one' and simply state what you want. Well done. I love Irene.
I give love and put pressure on my husband very often, almost from the beggining of the relationship and to be honest i'm ready to leave when i say it. I think it's best to take a man that you are not crazy in love with, because big attraction it's gonna cloud your conffidence and you will not be 50% in the relationship. I think Irene is so sweet and let you be confused 2 years hiding her feelings. I wouldn't do that. I could waste 2 years from my life and is not fair. Kisses from Romania😘
I thoroughly enjoy all your videos and this one with your wife was extra helpful for me! I recently had the "talk" with my guy and used your wife's approach to help me articulate what I wanted. We are now in a committed relationship and our intimacy has grown deeper by opening up more with each other. Thanks so much :-)
Mat, you really need Irene to join you for more videos. I love your videos but this one was even more helpful than the others. It’s great to hear your perspective and her perspective. Get her to guest star again!
The fact is a man needs to somehow want to stay and fight in the relationship even during times of uncertainty. Girls just be your authentic self, if he's for you, he'll love you and be happy in it!!
Your story is almost identical to my parents'. they were long distance dating in different countries: my mother was a very serious medical student, quite and reserved good girl, and my dad was this adventurous 15 year her senior bachelor. After 2 years of long distance penpalling and him coming to see her every 3-4 months (always with her parents present), she wrote to him that she thought she should devote more time to her studies and maybe they should break up so each of them could do their goals in life. That prompted my dad to drive 2 days to see her and propose. Now they are 37 years together, 3 kids, I am the oldest 🥰🥰🥰 such a strong couple, very opposite in their character but thats exactly why they match. My mother stuck with my dad even when he lost his business to bankruptcy and she had to be a breadwinner for years until my dad get back on his feet from all debtors and started a new business.
I hope he didn't loose the business chasing younger women? Sorry, but despite loosing his business, "dealing with debtors..." has no barring on Dad getting some other type of job to maintain his masculinity and provide for his family. A few months of self doubt, sure...we get it, but years?? No sis, he just had too much pride and entitlement and didn't want to work a job where he was no longer the boss. Instead, he'd rather put your mother in the masculine and stressful role. Let's hope her building his business and savings back up, she doesn't discover he was cheating all along AND eventually leave her for a younger woman. 💯
I did this with a 4years boyfriend, exactly the same, and he decided to walk away. It was hard, but necessary and to be sincere it was the best thing I've ever done! It's a great thing to do! Even if it goes south it's an important thing to clear out
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Stupidly single? Haven’t you ever been “stupidly single” ? Were you worthless back then? You didn’t have good opinions and clarity, just because you were “stupidly single”?
She knew what she wanted! I know what I want and after 2 years of dating a very good match for me, he decided he doesn't want marriage. It was a really fantastic relationship, few red flags and a little baggage. At 50+ years young, we come with our quirks and triggers. Thank you for the reassurance that standing firm is the way to go.
You're getting closer to turning 70 not 21. Being young at heart only, doesn't change the biological fact in which 50 isn't young. You also need to maintain a youthful and healthy appearance. At your age, 2 years is too much time.
I got back my ex wife with the help of someone who was able to bring back my ex wife and it works very fast and I believe he can solve your relationship problems too 💕💕💕💕💕
She knew what she wanted! That’s key. That’s where my work lies... I think the fear and confusion deep inside about what I want trips me up and leads to hurt. When you know, you cast aside what’s not right for you and remain open to what is... you become like a filter. I’ve spend my entire life settling, for less... too much sadness in my heart with dating and relationships. I’m doing deep work surrounding this right now. It’s time to do it differently, the old way just doesn’t work anymore. Happy Anniversary to you both ❤️ your wife seems lovely and strong with in herself and radiates it outward✨✨✨
I totally see why Mat always says 'my amazing wife' Irene is truly amazing! Thanks for letting us meet her. You are such a sweet couple, you have my best wishes ⚘❤
Irene is an amazing woman and this message was very powerful. So many of us - myself included - get caught up in these stories of undying love and romance with "the One" which lead to codependency and low self esteem. This woman demonstrated that by committing to yourself FIRST, holding yourself with dignity and honesty is far more important than trying to hold onto anything external. Thank you for sharing
That was brilliant!!! Before asking what do i want in a man. The question is what do i need to become in order to be a good wife. Then u will attract what u need.
This is an age old truth. My mom gave my dad this ultimatum to make a decision many years ago. They celebrated 67 years of marriage, last August. May you enjoy each this long and more!
I've had long term relationships that were not what I wanted and never got married. I didn't feel they were ready so. I just usually move on. I want a guy who respects himself and his women, who is not controlling and dosnt have too much baggage. A desire to be with someone for the rest of our lives.
This is the most powerful advice I have ever received. I have had horrible commitment issues myself because of fear of not being 100% sure. But what I took away most in this advice is that I need to be 100% sure in myself that I will be okay no matter what, and that I do not need to be 100% in someone else. I need self-validation, not validation from another person. Thank you so much!
This was so refreshing and gives me hope for my next relationship. I realized that I can't force someone to commit no matter how much I try to prove I am enough for that person. She is so strong but in a feminine way and you are confident. Good video 👍.
I normally don’t comment but I must say it was incredible to see the both of you United but also freely sharing your different experiences and perspectives in this chapter of your journey together. I had a moment like Irene as as well. It did not end in a happily ever after. I got my heart broken but it allowed me to walk away without doubts, heal and move on.
my story is almost identical. i moved out, told him that he i am ok with whatever he decides, that no matter what i’ll appreciate him for who he is and for everything he did for me, but that due to our circumstances we need to decide what we’ll do. did not talk to him at all until he got back to me a day and a half later. we’re married and doing great.
This is profound stuff..can’t believe you’re even sharing it for free! Thank you so much for sharing this. It is incredibly relevant to what I’m going though right now
Listening this I sobbed so much. This is literally what I need to do with the person I love and I've been terrified to do it but I know it will be the thing to finally know if this person is in or out or move on. Thank you for this video!
You both compliment each other so well...such a beautiful couple! 💕I’ve watched your RU-vid videos for several years and I have always enjoyed hearing Mat reflecting back on your relationship stories 🌸🌸🌸
I’m looking for someone who is just as committed to themselves/their own growth & to me as I am to myself & to to him. Mutual love, respect, understanding, & passion. Same vision & goal for our life. My perfect compliment.
I absolutely love your wife! Thank you to her for being a source of female inspiration ❤️ best wishes for many years to come. Thank you Matt for sharing your journey ❤️❤️❤️
Amazing!!! So true... my beautiful man after 2.5 yrs has told me that he wants to be with me forever just like you guys... amen 🙏 God bless you guys and your beautiful family 🌟
I got back my ex wife with the help of someone who was able to bring back my ex wife and it works very fast and I believe he can solve your relationship problems too 💕💕💕💕
Thank you, Mat and Irene. I did this two days ago. I have cried and cried and prayed, waiting for the call he says he wants to have with me about this ultimatum. I did not think I had done the smartest thing by doing this at the time until I saw this video so thank you for sharing.
Aaaaw, your wife is beautiful and so grounded, love that and this Vid!💗So my husband asked me to marry him after 2 weeks of knowing each other😬 I was in love, but definitely had some doubts. Although it was a bit (ok, sometimes waaay more than a bit😆) of a rocky road due to both us, here we are 25+ years later (and 2 grown kids) stronger than we’ve ever been💗
Wowww!! How you interacted with him and treated him since you 2 met? Which attachment style do you have? 2 weeks that's soo crazily awesome and 25 years of Real Love!! My dream!!!🤩👏👏👏
First - I completed my first marriage at 22 years- though we still wish each other a Happy Anniversary on the date- we both grew up together and realized our real differences (will give details) Second - I created 5 core values that we each had to live by in order for a relationship to work for BOTH of us.
What am I looking for? A man to have the freedom to not commit with me. A man to love me for me just as I am. A man to just be honest with what he wants with me. Above all else, a man of God who will lead us to the Father daily. I chose the wrong man my first marriage and I won’t do it again! Great video you two! Thanks for sharing with us 😃
Happy to see sweet couples like you. I have also known this man for about 13 years and got married to him for 9 years but I have just decided to divorce him. This has been a special year for many people including myself to experience turning points in life. You are right that time doesn’t give clarity but depth. So I’m giving him this freedom to not commit to this relationship anymore and I realised he’s happy not to commit to anyone at all. It’s one of the biggest shocks in my life but I‘ve learnt to take courage to let go and move on. It says a successful marraige takes two to acknowledge each other and to fall in love with each other time after time. Thank you for your teachings and for showing to us what a successful marraige is.
I loved the quiz! I laughed so so much! I'm in a new marriage, after a 29yr abusive marriage... this thing called doubt. . You know, I've realised that no one is EVERYTHING... you will not get a partner that is ALL you want them to be... but, if you are lucky to find that soul mate (or do we create that? 😉) you'll see that those things they cannot be for you, are not worth worrying about because ALL THAT THEY DO BRING, is heaven on Earth! Don't sweat the small stuff guys! I hope you can all be as happy and blessed as my hubby and I are ❣
i love this so much, thank you for being open about how vulnerable this topic is for both sides. the energy behind someone's trueness to oneself is so powerful, you tap into your strength and values.
Known him my whole life. He's a great man, the kind you can always count on in any situation. He's kind, compassionate, tough as steel, he smart, and handsome and good as gold. Been waiting my whole life for the circumstances to finally get right. Praying so hard, He's my best friend 💓
Oooh you guys so adorable, I would love to have a relationship like this ♥️ Happy anniversary guys wish you a lifetime of togetherness and ever growing loving relationship 💕
What I’m looking for in a partner is someone who fully loves me and I fully love them. We both also love ourselves and we accept ourselves. We can connect on deep levels-spiritually,mentally, emotionally, physically, sexually, etc. It all flows and we work through challenges together and we grow together. We also work to understand each other’s needs and the communication is great. We both value similar things and we want to create a healing life together full of magical fun and laughter. It’s already here I just have to connect with myself and I will attract what is meant to be.
Me and my boyfriend are 18 and 19 years old and we have so many doubts because we are so young and everybody is telling us that its just teenage love. We let other relationships and people put doubts in our relationship. We had a breaking point asking eachother do we really want this, a future together, a life together..maybe we aren’t for eachother. But we came to the point that we love, trust and respect eachother, we have great communication and we stayed together, we feared those qestions but they helped us realise that only we can decide how out future would look. I would like a video from you about doubts, fights and scary question like are we really for eachother or is this a person that will be mine for a short period of time. It would mean a lot to me and young adults who fight with the standarts of this society looking at young relationships as childish and short term.
What s beautiful couple inside and out! A really Quality pair! Love your interactions and fun and honesty. Learned a lot! God Bless you and your family!
Your wife is so beautiful and I love that she explained how she felt and was willing to walk away. I have been in that situation and it takes a deep amount of self-awareness and self-love to be willing to stand up for your needs, desires and recognize self-worth. Kudos to her for being upfront and honest with you and for the relationship.
I got back my ex wife and it works very fast and I believe he can solve your relationship problems too but you have to believe he can solve your relationship problems too 💕💕
Amazing video! This is just the advice I needed to hear in the situation I’m currently in, which is almost identical to yours. Thank you for sharing your words of wisdom. Irene is absolutely lovely and has so much wisdom. Looking forward to more videos with both of you. God bless your marriage and beautiful family.
They do complement each other on so many levels. The love challenge at the end was interesting to see how well they know each other. Growing up, I always wanted and still want the type of relationship you both have. I have been with my husband for almost 13 years as a well, married for almost 9, but he feels more and more like a stranger to me and I have grown to be used to it, lol. He is so closed up it sucks. Feel kind of stuck in the relationship because of the kids. It feels good sometimes to just air my frustration on such videos, lol.
I think this is the key .To say . .i love you so much you are the one i want to spend my life with but if you dont' feel the same way about me then we should let go . if its' not you then it will be someone else . i will be okay. Saying this tells' the other person you have my heart but if you dont' want that then im' not going to beg or cry all over you to make you feel bad .you might cry in private but you want someone to love you without seeing tears . i will be okay.❤
Wow Matt is so in love with her!! Cute. Thanks for sharing this story! ... answering your question, looking for someone I can be silly with, but will support each other in serious moments. Someone who appreciates my quirks and that enjoys being appreciated by me.
I got back my ex wife with the help of someone who was able to bring back my ex wife and it works very fast and It works very fast and I believe he can solve your relationship problems too 💕💕💕💕
I did just that a couple of days ago. As detached and neutral as possible. Unfortunately he chose to leave. It hurts, but I know he had his reasons and it’s for the best. I don‘t want to be with anyone that doesn‘t want to be with me just as much as I want to be with them. If you set something free and it doesn‘t return - it was never yours to begin with... or something like that.
One of the best Vedio content in my life i have watch. You lovely couple talk real world, no copy from any books. I am lucky that i subscribe to your channel. Thank you so much.
I think for a lot of women this wouldn't work out for them as this would push the man away issuing an ultimatum but I'm really glad for your transparency because it shows real vulnerability and this is real not fake. It confronted you with your fears and it's admirable you're both so transparent and don't sugar coat anything. She's a wonderful strong woman and this is really lovely to see you both so happy.
Wow! You both nailed it ! Lovely to see you mat showcasing your life to be true with your advices than just vocalising them !! Kudos to both you and your lovely wife. Both of you are made for each other ❤❤😊😊😊
Very nice video. Thank you. Well in Europe men are so different. They truly love playing instead of being serious to commit! if you give pressure to them they will definitely scare if they lose their freedom or if they lose in this game! They’re not as brave as Americans and unfortunately hate challenges! I’m sure Mat was a brave man who could decide in a time pressure! Congratulations to both of you. Kind regards, :)
I’m curious what made her want to commit too…I know men’s desire to commit is a fixation and focused on so much, but just curious what your take is on whether or not women have agency in commitment and what reasons they do “commit”
