What Models of POLYGYNY would work today? - An analysis of an ongoing struggle in our Ummah 

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Alhamdulillah, straightforward, no nonsense, honest and practical.... This is Islam, Masha'Allah.

MashaAllah great video.. my husband has three wives and we live by the first model.. turns out he loves me even more now for supporting him thruout the marriages alhumdulilah

"the solution to return to the Quran and Sunnah" - Solid advice 👍

This comment section is a mess. First of all to clarify i’m a woman & Muslim. I can understand many women get angry talking about polygyny & avoiding polygyny. I used to get the same feeling & maybe even worse when it comes to women in Islam in general. But, it doesn’t justify my action & anger nor does it changed the condition. If i didn’t held myself back, i would become kufr & that’s the reality. Women, our anger does not making anything better, it’s only creating a fitnah. We have been conditioned to have a monogamous relationship. And we get trauma, even if some of us doesn’t experience traumatic events, just by hearing other ppl’s problem, we get the trauma. We are affected by those stories & news. Our anger only make women look worse. Look at those females that get angry every time people told them advices or the reality, they don’t get any respect from people. Only the same women that have the same mentality as them that would respect & support them. But what is the result of their behavior? The view of people towards women get even worse & more men thinking good woman is rare. I hate to hear bad things about women, i really do, but it doesn’t justify my anger & i should not get angry in the very first place. One thing that women should remember, women of paradise are rare. Allah knows best about your heart (whether you dislike the ruling of Allah or not), but if you don’t accept polygyny, don’t even bother yourself to watch someone supporting polygyny videos, it will only trigger you. For the sake of Allah, ask Allah to humble yourself, and ask Allah to make it easy for you to accept polygyny & be patient. Ask Allah to give you a righteous man that fears Allah. But in order to get a righteous man, you also have to be righteous. Look at the real conditions of righteous woman in Islam. Don’t look at the watered down version. And improve your self according to it. May Allah rectify our Muslims women & may Allah make all of us easy to accept polygyny

I’m an unmarried virgin, but I would not mind to be the second wife honestly. If he can treat me right, and his first wife as well, what is the problem? I am not superior or better than the wives of the Prophet pbuh who were in such a marriage. Only if he is a man of taqwa, and if he can guide me to Jannah, I will gladly be in a polygamous relationship. Deen > Dunya

I thin that, if you are going to have a convo about polygyny, you have to talk about the shortcomings that are occurring in the Muslim community. One thing that has to be considered that if polgyny is going to hurt your wife or family, that should be considered. Some women are not going to be able to accept it, that's just the way it is. You can't change her feelings. Resentment may build. Is that an ideal situation? If polygyny goes wrong, it's bad. Really bad. Also, it seemed that the only reason Br. Gabriel discussed that polygyny is appealing for a women is sex and that's pretty much it. Okay...What about financial support, is that cool for a woman to want? Also would have been nice if he would have spoken about the man's responsibilty, since it's pretty hefty. I can understand some men don't have the capability to support more than one wife.

I keep telling my friends, just because you went through something does not mean the same is written for me, your qadr is your qadr and my qadr is my qadr. As long as Allah made it halal, He is the All Wise so do not brain wash me. POLYGYNY IS HALAL PERIOD

This seems a little one sided, polyngy has also been the source for a lot of heartache, broken children and negatively affecting people's deen...reality is depending on the man some women would've been better off single....when done right polyngy can be good for all involved but the problem is the majority of the time it's not....there are also married people addicted to porn because they don't enjoy their partners so marriage of any kind is not an automatic fix all the time. We have to do better with painting a full picture, not just the one that supports our cause....also if you REALLY read the verse on polyngy in the Quaran, it's not as encouraged as people like to say that it is because of the human condition, not just the "Western influence" that we're so quick to blame.

Polygamy is the solution for single moms and divorcees NOT working in a mixed environment This has been the solution since beginning of islam

1. Polyamory is already on Netflix and is coming to a Western law near you. 2. Muslims have been conditioned by the west to hate polygyny. 3. Regulations should be by what Allah has decreed not by what people have experienced or think is best. -- How does it work? -- 4. First model: everyone is okay to partake in sunnah and there's no mistreatment on anyone's side. Usually this model results in higher Iman for everyone. 5. Arguments are always in the first wife's perspective. They feel hurt because of a Western model in their mind and not built on the Muslim model. 6. You are allowed as a wife to give up some of your rights, on condition it's her free choice. For example, if he says he can't divide time equally she can offer to have only two days a week instead to make it work because she wants to be married to him. 7. Why do secret marriages even exist? Men are weak or his first wife is a monster. 8. Polygyny is a woman's right. Don't judge women who chose it. Many women are single and can't get married, and the solution is to be okay with polygyny and less judgmental. 9. Thought the ages, the ummah was strong with polygyny, but it requires strong men who can handle it.

Bro, You should do matrimonial services to get ppl married. Lets start with 1 in shaa Allah, then maybe think about polygyny later. Now most can’t even get married once.

Great topic and conversation, JAK brother Gabriel!

What about the children? Fairness can go so far and it is only compromising the first wife right to her husband time, attention, and risk even resources. That is understandable for women to fear men who are not acting as husband and as a father or that divorce the first to have a second replace her or force her to compromise because of the children sake and make her struggle to raise them alone. It is not an easy choise for women and also it is a great responsibility in many ways for the men who want that.

Can I just ask.. if men who want to engage in monogamy are weak then why did the Prophet Mohammed (peace be upon him) remain monogamous to his first wife until she passed away?

I enjoy my peace and my space, so polygamy is perfect that way I don’t have to see him all the time. I can have more me time. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. He can spend as much time as he likes with the other wife or wives.

The fact that Allah has allowed men to marry 4 not even 2 means its in their fitra for this issue am gonna be quiet its their God given right 🤷‍♀️...

Why to complicate your life with polyginy .Is not even recommended.Do you take hasanat for this or you put yourself in a difficult situation that may actually makes you collect bad deeds.Alhamdulillah so many single men in the world.

Your lectures helps the ummah tackle everyday problems.

I m always hurt when so called religious men keep bashing Muslim women who don't want a polyamorous marriage... This is her choice.. If men want multiple women, they are free to find 4 women happily willingly want to live together... If MEn are free to chose WOMEN are free too.. Not all widows and single mom want polyamorous marriages.. So plz MEN come out of your imaginary paradise.. Thank u.. Sorry if it offends someone..

Keep up the good work brother! May Allah protect you!

Sawda (ra) was 60 years old when she got married to our beloved prophet (peace be upon him).... That's why she gave up her right to aisha (ra).... Cmon sir, tell the full story

May Allah bless you brother for speaking about these issues

It's difficult in western countries. Because unfortunately, most men fear the state and not Allah swt! Even, if they're good practicing brothers. So, the civily married woman gets all the rights. While the second wife, who he's not able to marry legally in a western country, is treated like a cheap side chick! And he divorces her quicker and she even can't claim certain rights, which she is entitled to in Islam. Because a lot of brothers don't care! But if he divorces the wife, who's 'legally' married to him, she comes for him with an attorney and he shakes from fear! I know, I can't claim that for every brother, but I experienced this myself! The first wife and I even liked each other a lot after while. But the unfair treatment of the husband was the problem. And I saw a lot of sisters here in the West experiencing the same!

Assalamualaikum brother .Times are getting very bad people.need to be aware of what's going on in our Umah. They need to know what is right and what is wrong some people don't have good knowledge about Islam. I think it's good you are covering the topics which not many scholors talk about . May Allah reward you . Insha'allah ..

Islam is such a sweet religion for men 🤣 ! Bro Gabriel please explain to us how polygyny works when the population of men is higher than that of women ? When some men take more than one it disallows some men to be able to pair bond with women - leading to not enough women and enraged young men who can't get a woman cos there are not enough women to go round .

Ustadh gabriel, i wonder if you could share some practical examples.. how it works.. maybe some case studies of a good polygyny relationship.. How they divide their time, their house, financial issues etc.. Some best practice of relationship between wives, and how the should behave to avoid jealousy.. some best practice of how men should behave when more then one wives are around him etc..

MashaAllah amazing Brother! this is an ancient solution to modern day problems which upholds morality. In addition to brother Gabriel's polygyny videos , check Outstanding Personal Relationships .

Yes.. With a Niyah Intention Like Wholesome Embracing.. Our Messenger *Saw* Not only what we need, more building Wholesome characters.. What we are Focusing on Growing.. Its a Quote.. Not easily done..

You are such a great man!

Polygyny needed today . Current marriage crisis would benefit

The funny thing is if men could practice polygyny without any restriction there wouldn't be many unmarried divorcée and/or widows. This is because guys get what they want, which is variety, whereas women get some stability and security, win win. However, because polygyny had been demonised by society, men have not been able expand their mind to these types of women who are more vulnerable and need a man. Unmarried Divorcées and Widows are the fault of women of our society, who want to control their men and weaken them.

Salamalaikum brother Gabriel, barakallah feek, keep up the great work and May Allah reward you. I have one question- would it be okay to take a second wife from another country for example and see her for 2 months in a year? As long as she accepts it, will that be permissible?

It can never be old it is devine and a warning if disbelelive and follow tagut laws that is what you except nothing to do with Islam

Awesome

Only unmarried men talk about polygamy lol

The fact that there's men and women arguing in the comments is the problem. Either marry the second wife or don't. Then live with the consequences. If the woman wants to go, then set her free in a good way. Also, can everyone stop complaining about how oppressed they are by the west or the opposite gender? It feels like a BLM rally.

Alhamdulellah this is amazing🙏🙏

Very good analysis.

Then you have to let polyandry too. What you want for your self you can’t band from others. sorry women are not stupid anymore. If you accept Polyandry we may accept polygyny!

The comment section is a circus

If the fathers are sound give them their children open the book

Dear brother Gabriel. I’m second wife (divorced and children left). I have been married for one year, but my husband doesn’t give my rights. He only spends 3 hours a week with me and recently (2days) ago his first wife found out. His children are upset as is the wife. He has limited conversations with me and has said he won’t be able to see me until dust settles. I’m really afraid his wife and children will push him into divorcing me. I don’t know what to do. He is keeping her happy as she is the mother of kids and ultimately doesn’t want to lose his kids.

Jazakallaahu Khairan

How do you bring up the topic of Polygamy in a marriage meeting? Is it haram for a women to ask to place it in a nikkah contract??

Jazakallah khair

Wait...is this polygyny about Malkal Yameen in the Qur'an???

as a muslim in the west...do you recommend that men inform their first wife before marriage that they intend to practice polygyny? How can this be practiced without having the first wife being 100% against it and insulted by the idea of polygyny?

Lost Sunnah in our age

How about this scenario:woman divorced 5 kids need husband to suport her and kids financially and gave up all her rights of time and bed in favour of first wife .🤣everybody happy

Quran 5 : 5 - (Lawful to you in marriage) are **chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture** before your time when you have given their due Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage), desiring chastity (legal wedlock) not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girl-friends. ... Quran 2 : 221 - And do not marry Al-Mushrikat (idolatresses, etc.) till they believe (worship Allah Alone). **And indeed a slave woman who believes is better than a (free) Mushrikah (idolatress), even though she pleases you.** And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al-Mushrikun till they believe (in Allah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater), even though he pleases you. **Those (Al-Mushrikun) invite you to the Fire, but Allah invites (you) to Paradise and Forgiveness by His Leave,** and makes His Ayat (proofs, evidence, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) clear to mankind that they may remember. --- Marraige to more then one women can also be Fard-ul Khaffayah or obligatory on a group of ppl because in many parts of the world women outnumber men. It can also be haram if the man is not ready, like its not for every man its not for every woman i guess, but in the future women outnumber men 50 to 1 in hadith, so we have to be careful and prepare, and learn from good Salaf's polygyny!

Suada gave up her rights because the alternative was to starve as an older single divorced woman in the desert with no income or status. Not much of a choice. note the prophet banned polygamy for his own daughter. Wonder why tht was? Because he genuinely loved her perhaps.

My favourite topic. Jazakumallahu khayran!

سلام عليكم.. Yes.. Its Halal and obviously something going around.. Personally I heard of some good cases (cases😂) its not a sickness but abused and there Are Prophetic Rules.. Its Not A Joke.. Yet i totally see the Mood of rejection need to be Adressed.. Educating ourselves.. And Not be Afraid to face it as a reality in society. I am Listening from Egypt.. 🌍

👍

Most women on tinder and such are sharing the top 20% of men. It is happening, but in a haramized way.

IT IS MUSTAHABB (MERITORIOUS) TO HAVE ONLY ONE WIFE ACCORDING TO THE MAJORITY OF SUNNI SCHOLARS OF JURISPRUDENCE. This is the standard ruling in the Hanbali school. Al-Mardawi al-Hanbali has said in al-Insaf: ‎(وَيُسْتَحَبُّ أَيْضًا : أَنْ لَا يَزِيدَ عَلَى وَاحِدَةٍ ، إنْ حَصَلَ بِهَا الْإِعْفَافُ ، عَلَى الصَّحِيحِ مِنْ الْمَذْهَبِ ... قَالَ ابْنُ خَطِيبِ السَّلَامِيَّةِ : جُمْهُورُ الْأَصْحَابِ اسْتَحَبُّوا أَنْ لَا يَزِيدَ عَلَى وَاحِدَةٍ) “And it is also meritorious to not exceed one (wife) if he can ensure his chastity by that according to the correct opinion of the (Hanbali) Madhhab... Ibn Khatīb al-Salāmīyyah said: The majority of the companions (in the Madhhab) are upon the opinion that it is meritorious to not exceed one (wife).” And according to many scholars, having one wife is actually Sunnah. In al-Rawd al-Murbi`, Imam al-Bahūtī expounds upon the principle in Zād al-Mustaqni` “It is Sunnah to marry one”: ‎(ويسن نكاح واحدة ، لأن الزيادة عليها تعريض للمحرم، قال الله تعالى: {وَلَنْ تَسْتَطِيعُوا أَنْ تَعْدِلُوا بَيْنَ النِّسَاءِ وَلَوْ حَرَصْتُمْ} [النساء: 129]) “And it is Sunnah to marry one (wife) because more than that exposes one to harām. For Allah the Most High has said: {And you will never be able to do justice between your wives no matter how bad you want to..} [Qur’an, al-Nisa’ 4:129]” The harām referenced here is injustice to one’s wives for which we would be held severely accountable for before Allah. But this view is not limited to the Hanbalis. Imām al-Shāfi`ī said: ‎(وأحب له أن يقتصر على واحدة وإن أبيح له أكثر؛ لِقَوْلِهِ تَعَالَى: ( فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلا تَعْدِلُوا فَوَاحِدَةً.. ).) “And it is preferable to limit one’s self to one (wife), even though more is permitted. This is due to (Allah) the Most High saying: ‘And if you fear that you can not do justice (to more than one), then (marry) only one...’” A hanafi scholar also said the following: Ibn Humam al-Hanafi: If a man leaves out marrying a second wife, in order to not sadden his first wife who’s already with him, then he will be rewarded for his intention! [Safinat at-Tarikh] ابن الهمام: "إذا ترك الرجلُ أن يتزوج الثانيةَ كي لا يُدخل الغمَّ على زوجته التي عنده كان مأجورًا" سفينة_التاريخ People need to remember that relationships are supposed to have empathy and love, and consideration for our spouses will have us rewarded. One should also remember that our beloved Prophet (pbuh) did not allow his son in law Ali (RA) to remarry in his daughter's lifetime, and he was very severe about it: "I heard Allah's Apostle who was on the pulpit, saying, 'Banu Hisham bin Al-Mughira have requested me to allow them to marry their daughter to Ali bin Abu Talib, but I don't give permission, and will not give permission unless 'Ali bin Abi Talib divorces my daughter in order to marry their daughter, because Fatima is a part of my body, and I hate what she hates to see, and what hurts her, hurts me.'" (Bukhari, No. 4887) DO NOT USE ISLAMIC WORK TO MARRY MULTIPLE WOMEN.

This isn't just about sex this a whole family unit you're building, when children come into the picture, when the woman gets attached her giving up her rights just doesn't work. You're trying to find a solution to a problem when the problem is sorry we don't have many strong men, teach men to man up. When I was single I was getting asked by men hey do you want to be my second wife and accept to meet tw days a week? It's insulting, I've come out of an unhappy marriage and the best a woman can expect is that? No thanks. One sister I know she is a second wife she sees her husband twice a week But he a strong provider and that makes up for the lack of time he spends with her. Now they have a daughter, do you honestly think seeing her twice a week will suffice? Enough with this nonsense, marriage is a responsibility its companionship and its a protection. Intimacy isn't enough. It's a whole family unit. Stop treating women like theyre just some side pieces.

Why do you force All men to do poligamy? What if he doesn’t want? You call him WEAK? You are tired, and suffering to take care of your wifes, but don’t force other men to do poligamy too. For those who wants it, it’s their right, but some men decided to have only one wife, why are you calling him weak😨😨

tbh polygamy is not the ideal for MAJORITY of the people. I disagree we don’t like it because of the west lol the prophet’s SAW wives didn’t like it either. its natural to dislike it because for women they have to share already limited resources, love, time etc of their husbands. For a certain men as well if some men get 4 wives each it leaves a lot of men without so i would argue it’s natural for the majority to not like it. Its halal though so u CAN practice it if you like/ have the means to do so, which a small number of men can do successfully but again it’s not mandatory or even necessary. Its really not a big deal that people don’t like it imo, its innate but some ppl dont mind it. again it’s not ideal. find someone that doesn’t mind lol.

We have the leadership the ummah the way of marriage two witness

Polygyny is the best

This is fatuous. The reason is obvious - in Islam only men have the right to more than 1 partner. And the men don’t even have to tell their wife! This is no different to a mistress except some for the notional blessing of Allah. In reality it’s just the same. Personally I don’t like any polyamory and I don’t think it works long term. The key thing though is that it should be equal if done. In Islam thts not possible.

They did not claimed it is Islam

Why the concern once been told about Islam the Laws of the Quran the Hell fire

No rules regulated

الله

Allah

Can we have 2 wives in this day and age in the west, where they both receive money from the government towards living costs?

The fact he is calling men that want to be monogamous weak is disgusting. What’s weak that he wants to concentrate on his family and kids. He’s got control of his own desires and is responsible 🤔

you need fair men. teach them if you can. divorce happened always and if it isn't working and he isn't fair a woman has the right for divorce if he isn't fair.

Ma Shaa allah my favorite topic

22 :40 - I 'd rather die then be polygynous ( as if shes better then Aisha, or the grand daughters of the Prophet peace and blessings be upon him ) then she is sick and psycho at age 40... shame... Muslim brothers leave bida and follow the sunnah because you misrepresent Islam... sisters same to you - both return to Islam!!

Of course, we can have a boyfriend or marry a single man. We have many options.

If my husband wants to add on another wife im leaving ..sorry i cant accept that i dont like to share my husband with others. It would hurt me alot

Absolutely Right Bro. 100%

Really disgusted by this video, instead of teaching men how to become strong providers now you're giving them an easy option the fact is many women even those single mothers want strong providers and want time! How can you even meet her needs once in a blue moon! How many cases I hear of women who agree to these sort of transactions and then regret it! Sawda the wife of the Prophet swa actually was an older woman and didn't have needs and was happy to give uip her night! There's a reason why Allah has put these rights in place, you're happy with women doing away with her rights but when a woman asks a man to do away with getting poly not happy

Slander is serious and what did the men do they are Muslims they cannot take the Children

There is no reason for polygyny. The population of both genders is roughly the same. Everything is created in PAIRS according to the Quran (Verses 51:49, 78:6-16). PAIRS = TWO. Unless you want all the single men to fail at fasting and turn to homosexuality, stop promoting such concept.

16:19-16:25 🤣

Was just thinking about marrying a woman who can take care of herself. Crazy synchronicity

He speaks a lot of things but nothing has a point 😩

I wrote a comment says Astaghfirullah the way some of these so called Muslim men are speaking to the women in comments, slandering them and calling them names is disgusting. And someone reported it 😂 😂. Truth hurts

Yup i am getting atleast 3 wives hell yeah need to keep more option in bag considering how todays world is moving

you have to understand polygony is not recommended in Islam monogamous marriages are on top of that it’s also sunnah to have one wife

Haramize it😂😂😂

IF I SAID TO MY HUSBAND HONEY I WANT A 3 EXTRA HUSBANDS , BECAUSE YOU MIGHT BE BUSY WITH YOUR OTHER WIVES. AND YOUR MONEY AND TIME. ALRIGHT BABY YOU WILL ALWAYS BE THE FIRST. LOL🤣😂 HE WOULD GO CRAZY TO THINK ANOTHER MAN SEXIING HIS WIFE ON A REGULAR BASIS WITH HIS KNOWLEDGE. HE BE THINKING IS HE PLEASURING HER MORE BETTER THAN ME ????

Go and married second wife if you want !!! But don’t encourage men to do that

Men always go for the young and beautiful leaving the divorcees and widows..is this what islam teaches to go for young nd beautiful when considering polygamy.. ? 🤦‍♀️