What Nobody tells you about Labor & Postpartum... a very Raw Girl Talk! | Julia Havens 

I am not pregnant nor have a baby. Did I watch this 49 min video? Yes, yes I did

You hear so much negativity around becoming a mother I feel like strictly about how hard it is and what a change it is etc, but I absolutely loved and appreciated hearing you express the immense joy and love it’s given you, while still acknowledging the hard parts. What a beautiful story, baby, and mama ♥️

Sweetheart, I am 76 years old and I love you and Hunter and Smoke so much. You are such a precious Mother and are just glowing. It makes my heart smile a lot. It’s awesome how much you have enjoyed this journey into motherhood. I envy your mother and mother-in-law having a daughter like you. May God bless your sweet family. I can’t wait to hear about Smoke’s little life and all the joy he will bring to your life and Hunter’s life. Smoke is one lucky little boy. 🌷🌺🌸🌼🌹🌻

I am 26 weeks pregnant and I so appreciate your positive attitude and outlook on all things pregnancy, birth, postpartum and baby. The world needs more of this.

You’re more than just a mom and you’re meant for many things but oh my gosh watching you with him and the way you talk about this whole experience. You were meant to be a mom, your glow is crazy and it almost makes me cry because I can actually see your love for him and this whole experience through a screen

I’m always so inspired by y’all when you talk about how you waited till you felt ready and had the desire to have a baby. I have always felt the same way but have never gotten support on that stance. People would always respond with “you’ll never be prepared or ready”. It’s so refreshing to hear your story and it motivates me to do what I truly want🤍

The fact that you’re fighting so hard to be able to breastfeed that baby is INCREDIBLE. You go mama!

Just want to say you’ve never looked more beautiful I really think it’s the happiness. I’m 8 weeks pregnant and this video made me feel so much better with my nerves! Thanks for sharing Julia❤

anyone else still watching this when they are no where near having a baby or giving birth? 🤣

My midwife shared when we are pregnant, it’s the most in-tuned we’ll be with ourselves. Such a beautiful perspective.

I disagree on the OB and Nurse experience. I had an outstanding OB provider and I know several mamas who experience the same with theirs. My OB was definitely an advocate for me and my baby and the nurses in the delivery room made me feel so well taken care of. Even the postpartum staff was amazing after giving birth. And this was for BOTH my pregnancies. I hope your next birthing experience is more positive from this particular perspective.

this video and your entire pregnancy journey has been such a breath of fresh air filled with so much positivity but also the most realistic advice. I’m due next month and you have only made me even more excited for this major life transition. You are GLOWING and your advice is so so appreciated 🤍

So happy for your family 🩵 hearing your positivity and how much you love motherhood is so refreshing to hear!

The way you describe motherhood and how it has softened you is EXACTLY how I feel. I have an 18m old and she has made me a kinder, more patient and gentle person. I’m also an elementary school teacher and it has made me look at kids with such a different, softer lens. Congratulations to you two! And go Frogs! 😉💜

Omg!!! Your labor was so different than mine. I can't even imagine pushing for that long but YOU DID IT!!! 🎉 I had my first Jan 2021, once I was in my room I got my epidural and slept most of the time until they woke me to break my water & then woke me again to tell me I was at 10cm. I pushed for about 30 minutes, but I agree with you, pushing was the funnest part... especially since I felt so in tune with my body and finally like I could do it. Congrats!!!

As a mama of a 17yr old,13yr old and 10yr old.. I absolutely love hearing new mommies stories! Congrats y’all! 😊

I have been watching every single vlog for the past i don’t even know how many years, and now that you guys have entered this phase, i just love you guys even more. I have no kids of my own but tons of nieces and nephews. Seeing your journey and others honestly helps me appreciate my own family and their journeys even more. I love hearing the ups and downs of it all, and i will definitely refer back to these vids when i choose to have kiddos❤️❤️

LOVED this video. So positive but realistic at the same time. You & Hunter were made to be parents. You're both smashing it. Sending so much love to you 4 xo

this is the sweetest most joyful video. so grateful for your families presence on the internet- this perspective on motherhood is amazing

I’m literally 23 and single but watched the whole thing literally bc you answer every question so gracefully that it’s like bff is talking to me and I love it 🥹💗

You look radiant, glowing in motherhood. Loved you shared such good advice for young mothers. Keep up the good work, your doing great as a new mother 🥰

You are such a ray of positivity and I love your viewpoint on life and motherhood. Not a mom yet but the way you describe it makes me excited for the future!

You are glowing mama! What a joy to watch you talk. From a fellow mama welcome to the club!! XO from LA🤍🤍🤍

You look so genuinely happy & glowing ✨congratulations! Love your perspective!

Julia, I am having my first baby and I am due February 2024. Watching this video has helped me so much and gave me such a great perspective on everything. You are such a positive light ❤❤❤

Girl I’m so glad you didn’t tear and your recovery has been so smooth! My first baby was 10lb 4oz and I tore soo bad so that recovery was LONG! My second was 7lb 7oz and she slid right out so I didn’t tear and omg recovery was QUICK!

I’m recently married and we just started talking about kids (probably another year or 2) but thought I’d watch your labor video to see what it was like for you bc I know y’all keep it real! And honestly I was terrified. Girl you are a TROOPER! I won’t be so brave😅 but after watching this I totally understand where you’re coming from and I’m not as scared. So thank you❤

Great video Julia! I had two natural/unmedicated births… and my last birth at the age of 40 I got an epidural! My birth plan was to go all natural…but let me tell you! I thought I would be so disappointed with myself for getting the epidural-but it WAS amazing! Don’t be hard on yourself if u get that help it made the birth so much more enjoyable and I was able to be more present!! ❤❤❤

Julia thank you for being so raw! I’m so excited for this new chapter in your life and wish you the very best 💕 xoxo

Thank you so much for this🥺 This got me so excited to have a baby after being so scared of it for YEARS!!!

Julia. This video was great for first time moms. I wish I was told all this when I was having my first child so many years ago. At first, I was thinking, it was not going to be relatable for me, because I already have all my children. I decided to watch anyway. You are one of the best at storytelling, and I also enjoy all of your videos. Telling your story was so on point, and I feel this will give all the pregnant women and new mom's a fresh perspective of the experience. I love that. 🥰

due in december with my first and honestly this made me feel so much less anxious! thank you🫶🏼

Due in January with my first baby and I couldn’t have clicked on this video faster. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences 💗

You’re so beautiful! You’re glowing and cheesing this whole video. You can truly see how happy you are. Love you! ❤

Motherhood looks incredible on you! You are glowing! I have already had my two beautiful babies, but loved watching this video anyway. I wish I had you to share these details when I was PP. Congratulations again, Havens ❤

Love seeing you as a mom. It’s so beautiful and you can see just how truly happy you are it’s just glowing out of you! 🩵

Thank you, Julia! For sharing your experience with us. You are so strong ❤

I switched from an OB to a team of midwives at a birthing center. My OB was highly rated but it really pissed me off that I had to wait 30-90 mins at the office before getting to see my OB for 5 mins. The office was always packed. Felt like my time was not respected, and my appts were so rushed. Seeing a midwife is SO different. My birth center limits their clients to 18 a month. I can take my time, get my questions answered, and I don’t feel like I’m at a human puppy mill.

I loved this video so much!! And love how happy you are and all your positive vibes but also keeping it real. Thank you for sharing

I don’t know if this is any consolation, but I am a small business owner and a mom of two under 5. So I am writing from that perspective. Yes there are definitely crazy times and there are times you need away time from the kids, but that desire to always have your kids near you doesn’t really go away. It is a SUPER strong connection, and also a tool that drives you. Those desires for business and for your kids will feed off each other. Wanting to be with your kids forces you to be more regimented with your schedule and more organized, and reworking your schedule to fit each developmental stage in your child’s life. You will live off a calendar and a schedule, but the benefit and return on that is your business becomes even more successful and you are able to make that time for your kids. You’re right the first two months are crazy, but rest assured that passion for your child will drive your business

I’m so glad you talked about your doula! I want one next pregnancy! My midwives were sooo much better than doctors in my experience ❤

Julia, you Shined and were one of the Happiest pregnant Ladies I've ever witnessed...and Now here you are Sparkling & Thriving with Motherhood! When one gets married it's a life changing journey, then becoming a Family is another Life Changing Blessing! You instantly become engulfed with the purest Unconditional Love that is like no other ✨️ You & Hunter were made to become a Family! Love Ya'll so Much - Welcome Home Precious Smoke Hemingway Havens 🤍

YES! Please do a part 2 So many more questions

I love the baby content and love seeing you as a mom. 💕💕

So excited to watch - I’m due with my first in 2 weeks! ❤

I just want to say that I was diagnosed with a tongue tie at 28 years old. It's not bad but it definitely impacted my health throughout my life. My myofunctional therapist said it was why I was sick often as a kid, breathing issues, posture issues (because I wasn't breathing properly) like I never knew how important proper tongue placement and getting a tongue tie addressed is so important. My mom didn't realize I had a tongue tie either bc I was not breast fed so I am so so happy you're addressing it early!

You are being so super helpful THANK YOU SO MUCH

I cried for 2 weeks after having my twin girls. So many emotions. I also had baby A vaginally and baby B was a c-section. Tried breastfeeding but kept passing out. Went to the hospital and needed a blood transfusion. Also got saline since I was so swollen. But honestly, I had the best delivery. I was not in pain. Got to the hospital at 8 cm and the nurses were shocked 😂 my pain level was at 2.

Thanks for sharing your experience. ❤

Love this Julia! Such great information. I know you talked about going to pelvic floor PT during pregnancy and I HIGHLY recommend going postpartum once cleared by your OB 😊 I am a pelvic floor PT and my postpartum mommas always do so well and it really helps their recovery and easing back into exercise.

Mom life looks amazing on u Juj❤

Hope you are feeling better!!!😘💓

He has grown so much already!!! Wow! Blessings!

I love this side of you and how happy you are bein a momma!! You jus glow! I loved being pregnant too I had wonderful pregnancies and I love every minute of it and felt great. I had a home-births with all 4 of my babies. that worked for me, but my experience with homebirth was wonderful. I was a precipitous labor so from the start of my first contraction to delivery my longest one was only three hours and it was just amazing one of my babies. I had a Lotta back labor. It was my son because he too was face up and that made for a real intense labor but he ended up turning at the last minute, and when it came to nursing I loved nursing. I know that this is been a sensitive journey for you with nursing and I love how determined that you are to you see if it can still be a part of your and smokes journey. You’re doing amazing job and I’m so proud of you. You just are wonderful. whatever the outcome is the most important thing it’s just that he gets fed and continue to show your self love and patience and grace and things are going to continue to go so amazing for you all. I guess I would have to say in my breast-feeding journey I was blessed that things went so well in feeding my babies my struggle was weaning them, and I know everyone who breast-feed has their vision of when weaning should be, but I definitely did not hurry the process of weaning. I did nurse mine till they were too except for my last one she decided to wean herself at five months, and I was just heartbroken, but at either rates, pregnancy and labor and childbirth and nursing and loving your baby is just the most amazing thing in the world and I am so happy that you’re getting to experience this I had the privilege of being on the le leche leauge and helped encouraged mommas breastfeeding and helped encourage mom said either couldn’t breast-feed or simply didn’t want to breast-feed after trying it. Sometimes it just came down to a six week journey of breast-feeding, which if you can give your baby six weeks that’s fantastic because of all the things that they get for their immunity whatever it looks like for anyone is OK. Just feed your baby, and then have a grace with yourself. Looking forward to seeing how you all continue to just blossom and thrive through this next chapter in your life I do have one question did you all decide to circumcise smoke? Love you guys❤❤❤❤❤❤ smoke is getting so big so whatever you’re doing it’s working mama👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽🫶🏽

You are the most adorable human being. So thrilled for you and your little fam. ❤‍🩹

Motherhood looks amazing on you 🩵🩵🩵

You are glowing Julia ♥

That Mama Glow is adorable on you. I watched while shopping on Amazon.

Motherhood looks amazing on you Juj

Julia I’ve commented this on a previous pregnant video of yours but I’ve been SO nervous to get pregnant because I’m worried my mental/physical health will suffer. Like I want to be a mom, but I don’t want to be pregnant lol. You give me a lot of relief and I will probably watch this video on repeat when I am pregnant one day 😂 love you guys and baby Smoke 💙

I’ve had 4 boys and I’ve enjoyed this video very much. I wish this was around when I had my babies; this was so informative. Thankyou for sharing your experience Julia. There is nothing in the world that is better than having babies I so agree. Giving birth is the best too there is nothing like it. I have breastfed my first two babies I agree it is difficult but you can get there but if it doesn’t don’t be hard on yourself your a wonderful Mom for little Smoke. Sending love your way from the UK 🇬🇧 xxx

I am so proud of you for continuing to breast feed. I didn't breast feed my first baby and didn't want to breast feed my second. My first had such eating problems, that when I had my second, I breast fed him so he wouldn't have the same issues. Let me say, I had every problem you can have with breast feeding, but I continued on until it worked its way out. It was the single most wonderful experience I had. Keep trying, you will get there in the end and you will be glad you did. God bless you and your sweet family and good luck.

I was super lucky with my OB. I was her top priority before the baby. I asked her multiple times if she would make sure I was okay especially with the stuff happening in the country towards mothers giving birth and their health. She always reassured me my health was her priority.

You are glowing!! You are making me want a baby now!🥹💗

Ladies If your water breaks please go straight to the hospital. Yes it may take awhile for labor to progress & everyones "experience" is different however if you wait all that time after your water breaks you can pick up an infection and that would be about 1000 times worse. Think about it, bacteria likes warm moist places and that is exactly what you have the minute your water breaks. I'm currently in my third trimester now with my rainbow baby and I am just super excited at this point to meet him 😁 soooo baby dust to those who are still trying to conceive and God's blessings to those who are close to meeting their baby in the next few days or weeks ❤

you are glowing!!!!!

Yessss.. After my induction with my son I literally became so anti hospital/OB… definitely getting a doula next go-round!

❤you look good! Thanks for the update

Everything you talking about with your breastfeeding journey is normal! It takes time and after the first few months it’s becomes more mindless! I had an over supply which caused my babies to not be able to latch bc too much milk was coming out like a fountain haha so I would put the Hakaa on first to release some milk before putting them on and that helped a ton! Nipple shields were also a must for me for a few weeks too! You got this! ❤️

I ended up using a nipple shield with my baby girl for a little over two months and then one day tried without it (after thinking that’s just how our journey was going to be) after a couple times she latched on perfectly and we’ve had a amazing experience and she’s now 6 months! Don’t let people put a time limit on it ❤️I had people rushing and pressuring me that I needed to get her off the nipple shield but I’m glad I stuck it out and did what felt right

I had my baby a week after you and I agree it feels like it was just a dream. In the moment I was like this is awful I’m never having kids again and now I can’t even remember what the hospital room looked like that I gave birth in. It’s literally SO crazy.

👀 the earrings in this video! needed. You have such a dope earring collection. Top notch

Loveeee hearing everyone’s story! Especially because I loveeee having babies but my hubby says no more 😂😅 so I live for all the juicy details!

Thank you for sharing your pregnacy and pp jounery. I deliver in a few weeks and this is all very encouraging.

You are glowing! Absolutely beautiful 🤩

You're glowing ❤

You look so pretty and you’re glowing!!!!!❤

I suffered with horrible postpartum depression . I felt so alone and out of control. So glad for my relationship with GOD the counseling was interesting. I wish more women shared those experiences it felt like a secret NO one in my family shared any or their experiences 🙏 it was so hard. I would never wish it on my worst enemy. So glad I made it through my 2nd baby guy was a breeze. Nothing like that first experience. Also the hair loss the REAL. and thankfully temporary...

I’m 9 weeks PP - this video is so informative. While everyone can be different, it’s just good to know too

Pushed 2 hours with baby number 1, and baby number 2 came in just 2 pushes!!! Your body is so much more prepared the second time around

Julia, this video was amazing. You provided so much information and shared the upside and downside. But never once did you sound whiny. As you said this is your journey, not everyone's experience is the same. I have to say you're glowing and seem so at peace and happy with your new son. I'll pray you can nurse your son but you're doing what's best and that's giving him your breast milk whether from a bottle or your breast. I'm really happy for you and Hunter. You will be amazing parents.

Breastfeeding is no easy task and I salute you for trying. I had a breastfeeding friend come over with her baby and watching how she did it made it click faster for me. I went to lactation consultants and breastfeeding support sessions at the health department. Even went to the ER one time, I was determined… The bond once you get past the initial stage is so beneficial for me. The second baby is a breeze. ❤

I loved this video💜 I am terrified of having a baby but i loved hearing your viewpoint and the love you have for Smoke🥹 Maybe in a vlog or different video can we hear Hunter's experience and viewpoint of how labor and delivery went?

Yea you’re talking about the ring of fire when the baby’s head is coming out 😩 super painful but I agree… pushing a baby out is such a magical experience. Felt like everything went slow motion for me in that moment when I pushed out my baby 💕

I had two unmedicated births and my first one I feel like I kept telling myself it was going to get worse because I didn’t know what to expect and before I knew it she was here! My second time, I had more anxiety knowing the pain that was coming my way.

I am so glad overall you had such a wonderful experience. I think it is so incredible how you are preserving with the breastfeeding. I agree it is not easy, but can also be euphoric too.

Thank you for sharing juj🫶🏼

Love this video you look great ❤

omg where is your right dangly earring from? I'm obsessed!

Where is your sweat set from!? So cute

I’m not pregnant or married but I loved every minute of this hahah ♥️

Awww...you got this....❤

You are glowing mama so happy you are happy. My labor journey was a little more complicated but so glad yours went well. Had my 1st baby at 32 there was something about turning 30 and my brain was just like it's baby time 😂 Just remember most mamas take a good amount of time off if they are able 3 + months around here seems pretty standard. The time with your 1st baby is so precious soak it all up work can wait ❤

Would be cool to see a video sometime on your favorite baby items that you find useful.

Motherhood looks great on you ❤❤❤

100% I have a 2 week old newborn and what a ride! The whole hospital experience is so much! Complete decision fatigue! I was diagnosed with preeclampsia during labor with no previous pregnancy symptoms so I had to have a c section and no one prepares you for having a major surgery and also delivering a baby! I was in the hospital for 5 days and I suggest bringing a notebook because every nurse, doctor and lactation specialist all have different opinions and info! Andddd Breastfeeding is soo hard and feeding her every 3 hours at night is exhausting but With that all being said I would do it all again and I have never been happier, my daughter is my sunshine ☀️oh and thank you Jesus for all the nurses, every single one were sweet sweet angels!

All three of my pregnancies and deliveries were drastically different. I’m so jealous that I didn’t know when I had my second that I could have asked for more time before the C-section was decided. I was only 19, She was face down on my cervix 😢, they tried to push on her head intermittently for two hours and wheeled me to surgery. With my third it was too late for an epidural I was deathly sick the whole entire nine months and she was premature/underweight. It was the easiest drug free labor but the most traumatic pregnancy and were split up after delivery they wouldn’t let her breastfeed bc she had to conserve her calories and gain weight. No one even guided me on when to push, my partner and I basically delivered her ourselves 😂. He was amazing and when he looked at me and said I’m so proud of you, I pushed twice and she was born, no tare that time. But I’m surprised not more people outlined just how amazing the whole experience is. Especially when you are at the right age, with your best partner it’s indescribable.

I am still terrified 😅😂 but I love your positive energy

You look absolutely amazing young mommy. Motherhood suits you.

mommyhood definitely agrees with you!