What our Wedding Vows should Say

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Some of the trouble of long-term relationships comes from the vows we say at the beginning. We should learn to reformulate what we say when we enter marriages.
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FURTHER READING
“Modern societies are deeply invested in the idea of big, glamorous weddings. We have evolved highly-detailed collective ideas about what a proper wedding is supposed to be like, down to the specialised floral arrangements, seat covers, presents for bridesmaids and the correct order of the speeches.…”
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Produced in collaboration with:
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Опубликовано:

28 фев 2017

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Комментарии : 371

@gamayg7 7 лет назад

I remember my professor not marrying because he cannot honestly say "I do" but "I'll try my best".

@dearbabette7368 7 лет назад

Which is, really, by far the more loving thing to say. Instead of promising something you cannot deliver, promise that you will try your hardest, and you'll try over and over, and you'll try this and that in order to make it work. We have come to love the irresponsible and easy over the difficult and necessary.

@despairia 7 лет назад

I actually kind of prefer that. Rather than, "In this moment I promise to do something, even if I ultimately cannot keep the promise or my feelings change," I find, "I'll try my best to do it, because I choose, and will continue to choose, you to spend my life with," more romantic.

@sherylgething3678 7 лет назад

Celj Filmund Gamay THATS GOOD🖒

@alia.9427 7 лет назад

Ohhhhh haha

@user-tf6pg7jj6c 7 лет назад

Honor to your professor. He deserves at least that.

@ECAPS. 7 лет назад

Ah, I never forget my daily dosage of depression.

@mileydu13014 7 лет назад

Z More like a daily dosage of reality

@lkmlmlioj 7 лет назад

Z My life didnt come with a packaged 10/10 wife so im gonna cry myself to sleep as I accumulate weight and share my weak pathetic mind in youtubes comment section

@vb7089 7 лет назад

Cervix Crusader thanks for sharing everyone's opinion matters

@planbsponserme 7 лет назад

Was this depressing? If so I didn't realize. All I sensed was reality.

@vb7089 7 лет назад

DNG3 you choose to believe in what you feel but doesn't always make it true

@luckyowl10 7 лет назад

Those vows are better than the classic ones, more realistic. But a bit too pessimistic, marriage shouldn't be just about work it out together because it's impossible to be perfect. Marriage should be about finding a person which in great lines wants to do what we want to do and we'll make it work through sincerity and finding joy in small things around the road. Marriage shouldn't be neither a eternal love , neither a communal resignation of what we like to make it work, marriage should be a middle ground, something like we will give our best try, but if it isn't made to be, we'll part ways for the best of both, without war or revenge.

@isabellabornberg2153 7 лет назад

Claudiu Lucian +

@maggiekoch9348 7 лет назад

The parting is abandonment. It's like quitting a long-held position because you hadn't the spine to do the work.

@dfgoncalves92 7 лет назад

why do you insist on reminding me of the absence of intimate relationship in my life?

@emsiewemsieful 7 лет назад

that's one of the problems with these videos - they are generalised and cannot claim to know or define the extent of intimacy in anyone's life.

@victoralcantara8510 7 лет назад

emsiewemsieful I agree with the fact it's generalized. But it's generalized in a way where it can be applied to many things in our lives. maybe not every scenario But still beneath the surface of many relationships you could pull amount few of the points made in these videos.

@emsiewemsieful 7 лет назад

Yes I agree there are observable themes and trends which can be useful to be identified. I like the honesty that comes across by pointing this out in these videos. But I feel that as individuals only we can account for our own experiences. For me that can't be superseded by Alain de Botton's or anyone else's personal view. If it resonates with people that's great. If not then that's ok too.

@victoralcantara8510 7 лет назад

Very well said. I completely agree.

@amv062184 7 лет назад

Relationships are overrated. Stick to Mary Palmer.

@c.b.5535 7 лет назад

Some of this advice seems so simple and realistic. Makes me wonder why we fight so hard to hold on to the romantic view of things.

@ananya.a04 3 года назад

Agreed. But it's just that we are more familiar with the romantic point of view as popularized by cinema and approved by people around us.

@talkshh 7 лет назад

They could also be reduced to "in sickness and in health" marriage is a promise to stick to one person, to help the remember their worth in the worst times

@Inanedata 7 лет назад

"In sickness and in health" is perhaps a too narrowly, and often under emphasized part of someones wedding vows. It doesn't describe at all in what ways that both parties are expected of them. And I don't think a few incompatibilities in personality or preference counts as "sickness", describing it as such puts blame onto someone, or requires them to be "fixed" eventually. At some point you must recognize that even in the best of times someone you live with will annoy, frustrate and anger you. In short, I disagree that "in sickness and in health" or the other classical vows fully describes the kinds of commitment that marriage requires.

@talkshh 7 лет назад

Inanedata i honestly think you're wrong

@kateparker8546 7 лет назад

"For better, for worse" - when you're totally annoying and I'm destroyed by anxiety "For richer, for poorer" -no matter how challenging our life becomes "In sickness and in health" - when loving you is not the easy or self-rewarding thing to do It's just a different phrasing of the same idea, I think! :)

@RebelRossi 4 года назад

No, absolutely not. To begin with, "We realize we are both crazy" and "We understand that sex and love don't quite belong together" have absolutely NO PLACE in a catholic marriage, because they are commitments to understand the other person needs and wants in ways that go far beyond the requirements of a catholic marriage. There is also plenty of other issues when you put in place the watchful eye of a god, and a social peer pressure, which amount to an OBLIGATION to procreate, to stick to a single monogamous relationship, and to do so FOREVER. Please let's stop treating religion as a cute, old fashioned way to support common sense. Religion is a dangerous, and historically very violent imposition of policies, upon often very unwilling subjects, through instilling in them fear towards either an almighty God, or through severe and barbaric forms of punishment and social exclusion for those who don't believe.

@Lwilight 7 лет назад

I'll just play this video during the vows instead.

@JuanMunoz-vl4fx 7 лет назад

!!!

@justmai2476 5 лет назад

How'd that play out? (':

@davidkim9898 3 года назад

Lol!

@vivien7144 7 лет назад

"Compatibility is an achievement of love. It shouldn't be it's precondition." This indeed is very well said.

@dynamicgecko1213 Год назад

Then what are the precondtions? If compatibility is not, then it sounds like you might as well choose someone at random and marry them.

@Lethargo226 7 лет назад

People don't understand the value of risk, nothing ventured, nothing gained, you risk you're life to gain the greatest relationship a person can have. Which is not easily made to be either, marriage is the most difficult thing for humans, who are naturally selfish. And so, the only way to break you're self-centeredness is to force yourself into a situation where selflessness is the only solution and make the right decision. I like to think about marriage as being a life long character building session. Yes, it's supposed to reveal the darkness in us all, and it really does, but an environment of introspection and honesty would lead to learning from you're mistakes. People are largely unprepared for it, and enter it from a completely emotional stance without considering the risk and assessing their partners and own preparedness and attitude. A cultural shift is coming, societies which were once all liberal will begin to realise the value of healthy traditional values.

@BigHenFor 7 лет назад

Lethargo226 Are you serious? There is no such thing as selflessness in marriage. That is the problem: we enter into marriage often before we are aware of ourselves. We look to external things to fix issues that reside in us. Marriage magnifies what is already there. Unless one is willing to take responsibility for one's own happiness, how can you even start taking care of the responsibilities in a marriage? Marriage is not a cure-all for our problems but rather another arena in which our strengths and weaknesses will come to the fore for good or ill. If this institution is to be respected, we need to treat it more as a marathon than a sprint: something that takes effort, dedication, and some humility to maintain over the long haul, rather than an excuse for an overpriced costume party. For that you need the skills inherent in emotional intelligence. These do not come easily to everyone, and for successful relationships, they take time and effort to acquire. In this, Love is an achievement to be won by becoming over time, the best person one can be, so you can fully love another and be loved fully in return.

@emsiewemsieful 7 лет назад

I think these school of life videos have value and are offering an alternative perspective, as a contribution to public debate. However I've noticed a tendency for these videos to be framed as truth/fact through the choice of language. I'd be wary of any video that has the word 'should' in it's title. That feels like a controlling term and implies obligation to comply. To me it suggests an assumption of superior knowledge and infers that there is limited individual choice. It would be great for School of Life to present their videos as a viewpoint, as just one perspective to consider. So that the audience' freewill is taken into account.

@BigHenFor 7 лет назад

emsiewemsieful There is limited free choice because we cannot really control anything but ourselves. To think otherwise is deceptive because we cannot dictate circumstance. From birth we have to learn how to negotiate our existence and that means limited choices. In this case, is pointing out the limitations that societal expectations place on us regarding marriage. How marriage is presented in our culture manages to gloss over its realities, and I think TSoL wants us to be prepared for the difficulties, thereby increasing our chances of making our marriages work better. After all, the divorce rate is proof positive that many people aren't well prepared for the problems they eventually face in marriage. Part of that preparation could be a deeper, more emotionally aware understanding of themselves and how to live with another person. In the final analysis, one may choose to follow this advice or reject it.

@DanKaschel 3 года назад

Like all forms of journalism/creative writing, this video’s very existence+context imply that it is a perspective to consider. That said, free will does not allay the concerns the video addresses, principally that when people get married, they nearly always have expectations for themselves and their partner that are not only impossible for them to realize, but would be impossible for any two humans to realize. Saying so does not assume superior knowledge, but instead attempts to articulate a condition of which all (reasonably intelligent & mature) people are already aware. And the intended audience is those who might not have the life experience to have fully considered the implications. All relationships are unique, and I don’t agree unreservedly with every statement in the video. But, again, it is an opinion, which I know because that’s what a video essay is. An opinion. By a person you don’t know on a platform with no control over you. My opinion, which you may also ignore, is that your interpretation of the video may be partly a projection of your own guilt and/or fear of vulnerability. If so, you have my empathy. I do that too sometimes.

@kateparker8546 7 лет назад

In some ways, I think this perfectly captures the spirit of traditional wedding vows. In essence, you're saying "I promise to do life with you even when it's difficult, boring, and actively annoying." The traditional words are "for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health" and it doesn't say anything about feelings - it rather promises commitment to a less that perfect life, made better by being together. That's what I like about some traditions. Although the expression changes over time, the values and goals don't. However, I love that in this video, you strip those values and goals down to their core and re-phrase them in a modern way, so that people who are not religious - or people who respond best to modern phrasing - can still understand the concepts of a mature partnership. I'm very much of the "to each his own" attitude about religion and tradition, but I think these central values are so important for us to share.

@Amarr- 7 лет назад

Let me get a gf first..

@isabellabornberg2153 7 лет назад

AmarZ +

@bloodysinner9456 7 лет назад

That H2 in your avatar is the perfect girlfriend.

@oliviahesson881 7 лет назад

I like these vows much more. I bet a lot of couples wouldn't be so fast to get married if they knew they had to say these in front of their relatives.

@esrajp 7 лет назад

I kind of don't believe in the idea that there are no compatible people and you just have to work through it. Some people are far harder to get along with and pass your thoughts through in the relationship.

@dearbabette7368 7 лет назад

But what happens if someone is very easy to get along with this year, and the next year, but then becomes moody and sulky the next? How about ten years later? Do you then conclude 'oh well, she's the wrong one after all' and break up? Or 'oh well, she's going through a difficult time, let's take a step back and work this through'? If it's the former, well, that's where the divorce rates are coming from.

@esrajp 7 лет назад

Yeah, I completely agree with you on that. My concern is actually coming from this; my friend and I love watching these videos and we learn a lot from them. Right now, she is in a fairly new relationship where she has zero happiness at this point. When we talk about it, she refers to these videos and says that there probably won't be anything better than this with other people so she should stick with it and try to fix it. It can be true, but I see that she is totally depressed about this fact and it makes her feel hopeless. She thinks it is her responsibility and everything actually could be fixed. My point is that, it is harder with some people, and easier with others. The difficult time will emerge with both of course. That's life.

@esrajp 7 лет назад

Who knows really :) It is not one of those situations where the better answer is super clear so I guess we'll continue analysing and figuring it out together.

@MiyukiItachi 7 лет назад

Maybe instead of talking about it with you,she should talk about it with the person she is in a relationship. Both of them is responsible for the happiness of the relationship and if the partner doesn't care then it is time to break up and move the fuck on.

@VitorMadeira 7 лет назад

I totally agree. There aren't "incompatible people". There are people. And people change. I was once a religious man. My life with my religious wife was just close to "something very smooth and happy". Then I decided to leave religion. Life became what some people might consider to be "hell"... I changed my way of thinking, but did not stop loving my wife. But my wife can't stand the though of me being an atheist person. She kept following her religious leaders who tell all her congregation that the only true way of educating children would be the "christian way." I don't follow that concept any more so that turned our marriage into something really difficult to handle...

@jumaguzman 7 лет назад

The use of shapes effectively portrayed everything it has to say. How cool

@Chungsta613 7 лет назад

I'm married and getting ready for a set of twin boys, and I can hardly find anything to disagree with in this video. But my question is still today since way before I got married 3 years ago, why are we still getting married? Please, can +the school of life make a video on that?

@MismeretMonk 7 лет назад

They already created the video "Why Bother With Marriage": watch?v=kp4FLeY6F9g

@mayalucas9529 7 лет назад

School of Life, your videos are wonderful but recently most seem to be heavily focused on romantic relationships. Obviously there's nothing wrong with this if that's what you want to use the channel for, but as a single person I wonder if you could do a few more videos on how to improve oneself outside of the context of romance? Thanks.

@victorcraraujo 7 лет назад

I love how this channel is cohesive and don't simply forget the past videos. This one is completely related to "When are you ready to settle down" video. Have a great day everyone and thank you School of Life.

@vertex1933 7 лет назад

My vows will just be me dramatically reading the lyrics to "Never Gonna Give You Up"

@vladimirplantin6307 7 лет назад

It's messages like this that make me question whether marriage would be worth even going through...

@AymanKhan 7 лет назад

Can you please do an episode on personal ego and arrogance? It is a really important topic to many and I would really love it if you cover it! Thanks for the series as well, it is one of the best on youtube!

@izzyduzit5562 7 лет назад

this is perfect timing I'm going to be married soon! hold this W and pin this!

@nihilisticpancakeface6553 7 лет назад

I Still think women have an advantage over item custody when divorcing

@BooRadleyTube 7 лет назад

"Item custody?"

@nihilisticpancakeface6553 7 лет назад

+BooRadleyTube idk what it's called

@azorahai7046 7 лет назад

A Fence Sieve yeah they were carrying the damn child for 9 months and gave birth to it...they should have preference

@Zenene-ok5el 7 лет назад

+Azor Ahai Being a mother (or a parent, for that purpose) resides more in the nurturing capacity of a person that in the act of giving birth to the child. The offspring of a divorced couple should not stay with their mother just because she "[carried] the damn child for 9 months"; they should stay with the parent that has the more opportunities and disposition to take care of them.

@azorahai7046 7 лет назад

Well yeah I agreed but the original commenter said the women have an "Advantage", so children should go to the "best" parent but it's ok if women have an advantage, especially how incompetent and uninterested are a lot of the fathers when it comes to the well being and nurture of their kids

@Amina088 7 лет назад

The animation is so pretty here! I love how the couple look different from each other. Although each object change its shape sometimes, they never become the same. And yes, that's just like real life! :)

@ItsaJuraff 7 лет назад

This video was great. It really held true to the values that this channel so solidly stands behind, and all of the points were fantastic. 10/10.

@NameSurnameSolarin 7 лет назад

Next video about self-love, abusive inner voice, self-hatred! Please!

@xjenmenx 7 лет назад

I simply love the guy's voice it's so relaxing after a stressful day

@ghmasterjj 7 лет назад

i need some "good enough" stickers to give out to people lmao

@iyxon 7 лет назад

Watched so many of your videos now, I've heard many of the things in this video already yet they continue to impress me.

@sauragra 7 лет назад

The best 'School of Life' video I've ever seen. Thanks...

@MrsYummyLover 7 лет назад

How do people know and sure this is the person they want to spend their whole life with ?!

@dutchik5107 7 лет назад

Ananasti well I don't know. bit my parents it was just being together for a long long time. and living together before that. they got married when they were 12 years together. I am not saying that you should wait to marry that long. also depends on how old you were. they got married when they were 30. but maybe have a longer and stable relationship with living with each other for a longer time. so you just know it's right.

@simon_patterson 7 лет назад

Ananasti it is always a risky choice you make. I don't think anyone is adequately qualified to make the decision for ourselves, yet that is how western culture works. The best we can do is ask for advice from wise, trusted elders who know us and have our best interests at heart, such as parents, if we are fortunate enough to have such people in our lives. Then make our decisions as best we can. That's the easy bit. The hard bit is continually doing what it takes to live up to the promises we made to the one we chose to marry.

@nihilisticpancakeface6553 7 лет назад

when they have to pay 1000$ do break off it

@noelj62 7 лет назад

Ananasti . Being, a bachelor myself at my late 30's. I can tell you that I've met many girls along the way. Interestingly enough, only one managed to get stuck in my head. It's your gut feeling that tells you that is this the person to love and live with. But the "looking for the ultimate right person" syndrome will inevitably blind us all. Ideas presented in the school of life are so valuable and practical.

@BooRadleyTube 7 лет назад

They don't "know," they choose. They choose someone they love, and they make it work. That's why wedding vows exist.

@CharaTV 7 лет назад

"No, please don't eat me. I have a wife and kids, eat them." - Homer Simpson - 😜🤣

@direstorm7324 7 лет назад

Sex really is a vital part of marriage and should not be ignored as much as it is

@ananya.a04 3 года назад

Yes, but it is not the only thing there is to it. It is to be used as a tool to strengthen the emotional bond between the partners.

@arhabersham 7 лет назад

1) I agree to marry someone I know is deeply imperfect - As I am 2) However much my future spouse understands me, there will always be large parts of my psyche that will remain incomprehensible to them, to anyone else, and even myself 3) We both realize we are both crazy 4) We are ready to love, rather than being loved 5) We understand that love and sex don't quite belong together 6) We are not that compatible

@kel9387 Год назад

Sex is an act of love if done properly the way GOD Intended

@arhabersham Год назад

@@kel9387 amén 🙏🏾

@camilleariyan2263 7 лет назад

i love this video. now i know nothing about marriage, but i do agree. i love your videos, they help me think even though sometimes i do get confused. I just rewind the video and listen again. i watch each video with a open mind.

@DoubIeRose 7 лет назад

so glad one of these videos showed up in my recommended videos. love this channel. for once i am grateful that youtube spied on me

@TonyLewisOKR 7 лет назад

I'll add some these to my vows when I get married

@MusicallyFly 7 лет назад

I feel this applies to long term relationships as well

@greatrash 7 лет назад

JUST DO IT! Don't let your nightmares be just nightmares.. SO JUST DO IT. ( marriage)

@lovemecom3832 6 лет назад

wedding is the best part of a couple. but in a long run we getting married is not easy, there's a lot of trials. but if you two know how to handle and how to fix, everything well be fine and smooth.

@sunshocked6564 7 лет назад

This is true... Opens me to the realities of marriage.

@chrisrichards3977 7 лет назад

For Christ sake man stop throwing my own personal fears in my face, I was expecting some reassuring "we understand imperfection and strive to still embody love through it" stuff but you go and hit me with the "no one will ever understand anyone period." I can't keep taking these blows man, it's not good for my health

@Lookatmeshine 7 лет назад

Nathen Paige I found that to be quite difficult to hear but necessary. No one ever will truly understand you... but maybe that's okay. Most people don't really understand what their pets do or what their pets are thinking, however does not mean they are not loved completely and that the person who loves them would not risk everything in their lives for that being and it's happiness. We strive to be understood because being understood means we are not alone, that we are not freaks, but at the same time being misunderstood does not mean being alone forever and your differentness from everyone you meet is actually what makes you so interesting.

@sab_ginesi 7 лет назад

I think that it's rather comforting to know that you will never truly be understood because it is something that you and only YOU will truly sympathize with. If someone knew and understood everything about me, I wouldn't hold any mystery and surprise, ultimately ending in me feeling inadequate. I would prefer to not fully be understood, but to have someone who will try their best to.

@neoplumes 7 лет назад

I needed to hear this. Thank you.

@snoesje95 7 лет назад

I love these video. they give me a check about my ideas and if those ideas are as realistic as I think.

@emlinegar 7 лет назад

"it's the capacity to tolerate difference, that is the true mark of the right person." What do you guys think about this? My view of love is that we find deep love for people whose basic personalities are incapable of turning us away. Once we understand someones personality on a deep enough level, we either feel a deep love for them or we don't. I think that we feel a deep love for the people when we find that their attractive traits (ones we find attractive) outweigh the unattractive ones to the point where we can't help but enjoy their company, and genuinely care about their well-being.

@olayinkaowoseni5436 2 года назад

This is so good.

@radu01 7 лет назад

So much truth in such a short video

@absolutamentenadie9690 7 лет назад

I don't think that this videos are depressing, I find them to show us how mellow is more common and we expected more. But they make me very happy and not otherwise

@MirakoSynth 7 лет назад

I really like this. It's so insightful.

@tabryis 7 лет назад

God this reminds me of my personal development class. Thanks for these videos!!

@soupandsammich 7 лет назад

I love the "we are crazy" one. Definitely true in my case.

@Liazon098 7 лет назад

The last part of this is the key. THEY KEY!

@SheekChick6901 7 лет назад

I look forward to every single video from The School of Life!!! Your honest help, real perspective, and blunt explanations have, truly, saved my own relationship many times. As well as helping me be less critical of myself and others :) I think marriage is a huge money grab, and don't plan on getting married ever, but if I ever did, these would be what my vows would sound like! :) "We're both immature and inconsiderate. I promise that I will piss you off. Lots. Please stay with me and we can stumble through life together" lol!!!! :)

@abbykoop5363 Год назад

The more of this type of video I watch, the more I'm content to stay single. Thank you for dispelling the myth that love is wonderful. 😉

@tryhardofdoom7682 7 лет назад

Lol these dissonant chords before some vows got me good :D Nice idea!

@jersontaguibao 3 года назад

I resonate with the video, but can we all show appreciation to the artist who illustrated the hilarious "clothes" on the clothesline at 3:46?

@isaacpadilla9266 7 лет назад

Today just so happens my 22nd anniversary. Nice video!

@charlietable2313 Год назад

Thank you, Sol, for striking a blow for truth.

@mephistophelesthesilentchi3446 7 лет назад

Great video SoL, the trials and aspects of marriage truly need to be liberated from the romantic bias. Loving and living with another for the remainder of life, demands an open mind not an omniscient mind.

@annycui9880 6 лет назад

I will take your suggestions in my wedding next July!

@judithwallace2091 7 лет назад

Sounds like a great plan!

@AmbassadorPotato 7 лет назад

I don't find that it makes me depressed. The light that is shone helps me down to deep rest.

@nstu3552 7 лет назад

visiting you today or tomorrow in london! very excited to buy some of your stuff

@zucchinikki8980 7 лет назад

i love ot when the dunce cap comes in with the sound effects, it's so cute and made me laugh also the dop is so cute! but i didn't realize it was a dog until after watching it again

@Ferelmakina 7 лет назад

thank you for this!

@alyssa2891 7 лет назад

I find these to be really valuable insights, and I'm grateful for them, but I'm struggling what I feel like is a real tendency in these videos to always default towards the "stay in your relationship" position. That's fine, but I think there should be a video on why that's so encouraged. Is there really a unique good that can only be achieved by maintaining a long-term monogamous relationship? Kierkegaard is probably right that we'll regret whatever we do, but rather than advocating for anything more interesting or radical, the videos seem to default towards "Well then marriage is probably the best best, and maybe lie a little to lubricate that, and assume your disappointed expectations are just the result of bad expectations and not a bad relationship." Why start by thinking that marriage is really the best option? Or at least, it seems there's a sort of "bad faith" happening. (And yes, I've watched the "Alternatives to Marriage" video, but it seems a bit too tongue-in-cheek for me to find it very thoughtful or convincing.)

@nonelost1 6 лет назад

4:44 "Compatibility is an achievement of love. It shouldn't be it's precondition". Happily married people have emotional similarities and non-emotional differences. This is compatibility. So is compatibility something that can be established between couples (perhaps with pre-marital counseling help) before going to the altar (precondition)? Or is compatibility something that has to be "worked out"(achieved)? Ask the opinion of happily married couples.

@dantemiguel93 7 лет назад

This will help a lot of people. I know it helps me

@alicedelarge 7 лет назад

This is a very good video, as always. I don't think it's pessimistic at all.

@mihajlo961x 7 лет назад

Such good ideas!

@nuviarashid6678 7 лет назад

Congrats on 2 million followers, school of life

@darkflux 2 года назад

very true stuff, and eloquently put. although, sadly, it is probably a bit TOO eloquent for the people who really NEED to see it to actually UNDERSTAND it.

@natalieann9710 7 лет назад

Best to just have a relationship via Woody Allen/Mia Farrow, separate living situations. Won't get sick of each other as much, have some me time, sleep better, separate bank accounts, maybe even have sex more, if one doesn't want to do a lot of household duties they just get a tiny house Lol. I think a lot of the fighting happens over financial, household duties, lack of sleep anyway.

@BooRadleyTube 7 лет назад

Woody Allen and Mia Farrow's relationship was ultimately disastrous.

@natalieann9710 7 лет назад

BooRadleyTube Yes, but for other reasons. I work with some older people that have separate long term living type relationships. It may not work for the majority, but for some it does. Actually, even my dad is in a marriage like that. They've been together for over 10 yrs, and only recently has he been spending more time at her place vs a mixture of hers/his.

@TheSimcraftFixion 7 лет назад

I'm so early! A miracle! 😂😂😂

@TheSimcraftFixion 7 лет назад

I'm always late at school! 😛

@noelj62 7 лет назад

TheSimcraftFixion . Right then, you've proved that miracles do happen. Waiting for the big next thing. If you catch my drift.

@catvalentine4317 7 лет назад

That's what she said

@_samuel_6951 7 лет назад

Rainbow Kenny Just not to you! lol

@MurasakiBunny 7 лет назад

Going to have to change that tagline at the end of the video into "Join our TWO million followers..."

@gigglysamentz2021 7 лет назад

4:20 Sublimation : mature type of defense mechanism where socially unacceptable impulses or idealizations are unconsciously transformed into socially acceptable actions or behavior, possibly resulting in a long-term conversion of the initial impulse. (Wikipedia)

@naurishaider8429 6 лет назад

Loved it!

@Inanedata 7 лет назад

I honestly didn't think this video was so depressing. I think this video more accurately represents how I believe relationships work than love songs or rom coms or romance novels or even how other couples OUTWARDLY present.

@blakem.92 7 лет назад

Another great one

@kanyekubrick5391 7 лет назад

I live for this channel and Ted Talks

@glummy909 7 лет назад

The School of Life I really like your content. Please consider raising a bit the decibels when recording your audio as it sounds notoriously quieter than most of the other content/channels I browse. Not a critique, but a friendly suggestion. Be a bro to all of us out there on a cheap speaker laptop.

@PurpleSwils 7 лет назад

I need to feel financially secure first, then I'll start searching for a good-enough person xD

@vishalmohann6286 7 лет назад

This is the same material as "when are you ready to settle down" just presented in a different way.

@alexmario4490 7 лет назад

great video

@seanwhatstone8880 7 лет назад

This video is #42 on trending, meaning of life anyone?

@sherylgething3678 7 лет назад

you have destroyed my mind. i am so confused. I will keep learning. Thank You Book of Life. perhaps we were caught in something and now maybe the time to reset and unplug the closet sink. Keep teaching us.

@neurodermatitis 7 лет назад

i get the point, but then again, these should be the vows that should be understood by the couple, not the ones we should utter at an optimistic, joyous gathering

@KETimiko 7 лет назад

I only have one problem with this video: The implied premise, that it's ultimately better to be married to a single person for the rest of your life. I fail to see why a single "permanent" relationship is preferable to multiple long-term relationships. It might be because I see relationships in a different way than most people seem to. I don't seek out a romantic partner to feel validated, understood and accepted. I think a romantic relationship is a very pleasant exercise in self-improvement. As far as I'm concerned, the value of a relationship is determined by how much of a positive impact it has on your life rather than how long it drags on. Any thoughts?

@Lookatmeshine 7 лет назад

KETimiko there is no problem with having multiple long term relationships but for many people their friends hold that function, and the monogamous relationship is what is natural for them. Maybe you are polyamorous?

@KETimiko 7 лет назад

No, I'm lazy. More than one partner at a time is something I don't have the energy or patience for. lol Anyway, I meant subsequent not simultaneous multiple long term relationships. So, more like, why is one relationship that lasts 30 year somehow "better" than 3 relationships each lasting 10 years. People really seem to act like how long you stay with someone is the ultimate indicator of how "good" the relationship was and I just question that assumption.

@Lookatmeshine 7 лет назад

KETimiko oh! haha I misunderstood. yeah I think it is questionable logic I think people just like familiarity and is essentially like bring addicted to a person.

@michaelchristianis133 7 лет назад

Can you cover a topic on objective musical beauty as you did with objective aethetic on art?

@jeremysnyder9792 7 лет назад

I love this channel, but it only has made me feel and shown to me, or at least believes in the idea that love is useless and that there is no point to relationships because they will fail - always. If this IS the believe of this channel, I'd like to know why. I also realize I could be totally off, but this is just how I am reciprocating what you're trying to teach.

@BigHenFor 7 лет назад

Jeremy Snyder That isn't what this video is saying at all. What this video is saying is that romance will only take you so far. For a long and happy marriage you need to be realistic about your strengths and weaknesses individually, and as a couple. If both partners commit to being the best people they can be, to choosing their battles, and treating each other with kindness and generosity of spirit, then their marriage can work over time.

@paulharris3000 7 лет назад

Is this person good ENOUGH? is an apt question...

@davemarx7856 7 лет назад

I love these Social Archetype Revision videos. I know the channel is more European Politics but an "American Constitution 2.0" is a concept that's been in my head for about a decade. Could you take a whack at it? +The School of Life

@PkUFools 7 лет назад

Finally, an art style that does not scare me

@fajerbokhamsin3052 7 лет назад

Cool animation. What software do you use?

@gilbertoresendez37 7 лет назад

I finally understand why im not liking this channel anymore its because it feels like its the same thing over and over

@survivalsquid 7 лет назад

because most people believe in a concept of love that was created by advertisers and ml

@misschris7720 7 лет назад

I'd love you guys to make a video for single people. The vast majority of the videos on love are on people who are already in relationships.

@euphonikprince8801 7 лет назад

This video is 100%right. ....but shall tell us also why married couples cheat

@nirvanakamala2809 7 лет назад

I made a painting of Alain because he is my favorite writer and this RU-vid channel is one of the best things on the internet for me, how can I show it to him?