My adopted kid has several neurological issues with global delay, ADHD and learning difficulties. If I talk to the teachers/school, I'm annoying. If I don't, I'm negligent. They just don't want to understand that getting my child to sit like a statue and get all A+ is not possible. And if I'm ok with my kid graduating later and not going to college I'm a terrible mother who doesn't care about their child's future 🤣
It's not that they "dont" want to understand, they get no training in ADHD, that is normal unfortunately. I would encourage you to not go to "thought distortions" where you believe people are making judgements about your parenting, it's not helpful to your emotional well being. I'm not trying to discount your experience, rather recognize that you cannot read peoples' minds.
You're saying exactly what I've been feeling for years. And I'm also a good example of having a great career in a trade. I was in natural gas industry as a serviceman and I had a better wage and benefit package than someone I know that ironically had their masters in teaching... You can make a great living wage in the trades and we need tradesman in all industries. Solar energy, electricians union, and communications are a few great fields with bright futures to get into. I'm excited to see what our children choose to become. Whatever that may be.
I needed to hear this so bad! Homework for my Kindergarten ADHD son is insane. They already want him to repeat the grade and everynight was such a battle and miserable for us both. You right! Thank you!
@@ADHDDude Had homework in kindergarten but it was the basic tracing letters/numbers, name, basic reading practice, sometimes coloring and circling things. For example one of the problems could say “Circle or color the picture of the bed” Which shows 2 or 3 options at the bottom of the direction, and we had to circle the correct option that showed the bed
Oh yeah. I'm definitely that "high maintenance parent" that the teachers probably talked about behind closed doors. Because I pushed - as respectfully as I could. But I pushed. I advocated for my son. But here's the thing. My 10 year old is comfortable failing his subjects because he doesn't know the material. He doesn't care all that much. He cares a little but not enough to be motivated to speak up when he doesn't know what to do. And the teachers were comfortable letting him fail. They were aware because I pointed it out. We tool him out of that school because they utterly refused to work with me - to the point where I caught the teacher falsifying grades and giving him B's that he didn't earn in hopes that I would stop pressing the matter. Obviously that's not what I wanted. What an wanted was for the teachers to pay more attention to how well he was understanding the material and then report back to me so we could come up with a plan on how to help him catch up. Anyways... his teacher is more attentive now but your thoughts on allowing your children to speak for themselves has given me something to think about. How do you think that piece of advice fits for a parent of a child with very minimal motivation?
In my experience as a school social worker, I often found that the students who had parents who tended to micromanage themm, or had a significant need for control were the ones who tended to be the least motivated and the most passive.
How can we avoid this homework thing when other activities rely upon it? For instance, my son cannot be on the archery team with poor grades. He wants to be on the archery team and it seems beneficial, but perhaps it's not of it requires too much from him. But if he has missing class work, he is denied the parties and celebrations in class.
I definitely would not want to see him miss an activity. You can help with homework, there's no problem with that. The issue is with feeing into learned helplessness, which is not helpful.
This is very good. Robert Plomin’s book DNA makes us who we are is saying the same thing. True. Teachers don’t get education about executive function. But good teachers who actually care go out of their way to learn about it. No? I understand that teachers have a big work load. If 4-6 percent of kids have adhd. That’s 1 or 2 in a class. That’s a lot. You are right the school leaders should lead by learning and working top down. But if you go into teaching maybe being curious about learning development issues might be priority. Love that video!! Very good.
Having worked in schools for much of my career I find that teachers are tied down with too much paperwork and busy work to spend time educating themselves. I would never hold an individual teacher responsible for what they do not know about ADHD or executive functioning. The problem starts with what they're taught in their education courses in college.
I swear technology listens into my life. I was just talking about this with my husband about our daughter. She's in kindergarten and I'm trying to get her on the right solid path.
We’re struggling SO hard with homework right now. His medication dose just got increased and we’re just waiting for things to improve…. The school professional will not set up an IEP despite him failing language arts and struggling with ADHD (diagnosed) and will not even test him for dysgraphia despite me requesting it because “they tested for dyslexia”
Hello. My husband and I just finished with a conference with my son and all of his teachers. He refuses to do any work, acts out in class, defiant with the teachers. I don’t know what else to do. I my son know in the meeting all of us are on the same page but I’m lost. What do you recommend? He has an IEP
It isn’t the homework, it’s the reaction to me telling her an answer is wrong and trying to discuss how to find the right answer. She shuts down and refuses to consider her answer is incorrect. How do I parent this? I don’t even care about it as homework, a well adjusted human needs to be able to accept they are wrong and work to correct the issue.
Well then they're putting themselves in a position of liability.. You can ask for what I mentioned in here. If they give you pushback, I would then bring in an advocate.
I understand your video and I like it BUT it depends on the future success you're looking to do. If someone needs to be a Medical doctor , pharmacist, you need to know Chemistry and biology throughout high school and even middle school..... otherwise it won't work starting college
I think that completely depends on the child and if the child is receptive to learning from the parent. I have met many kids with ADHD who deteroriate when their parents start homeschooling them, to the point they become physically aggressive. Others do fine with it. It's not something I would personally recommend to most families.
My 10 year old daughter gets a 5pg booklet of Math homework each week. That would be relatively manageable, but the teacher also gives them at least 5 worksheets during the day. Not only that, but certain worksheets and tests she does poorly on, she has to correct and return. She struggles to finish worksheets in class and then has to take those home as well in her “unfinished work” folder. I’m overwhelmed by it as much as my daughter, I think! She has a 504 plan but I can’t tell that it helps. It bothers me that she blames herself for struggling when a large part of the problem might be unrealistic expectations. She struggles with the content so she doesn’t have that excuse to skip homework, so I’m not sure what to do.
Thank you for these helpful videos. My son’s teacher provides weekly homework package. We have two problems: When it’s complete, he forgets to hand in his package, it can can takes days for him to remember. The teacher hands gives the students new weekly package. somedays he is pulled out for services during the times the teacher gives out the homework package. He then forgets to collect his new weekly homework package. What should be done?
You need to implement strategies to help him with his nonverbal working memory (future thinking skills), and also shift the way you use language so you're not constantly prompting him. The strategies for this are in the Executive Function Crash Course for Parents series: www.adhddudecourses.com
Having a mail box system for students and teachers to receive/deliver materials back and forth might be a helpful resource. This could be a digital mailbox as well if your kid works well with email. If they don't, a physical copy in a mailbox will be necessary especially if your kid is not present when the work is handed out. Could your child design, build and install a multi-student mailbox? 😮
My son has failed two classes last year and now is in 10th grade if he fails any classes he can’t get his permit and will have to be held back for not turning in homework. He had to do summer school last year and already has to do summer school this coming summer. So it’s a battle every day trying to get him caught up with homework
They cannot hold you back in a grade for not turning in homework. Whoever told you that is giving you misinformation, and battling with him over making up homework will not motivate him at all, quite the opposite.
I love your videos Ryan 😊 I think you went to high school with me…. Did you go to Lower Merion? My 9 year old son has ADHD and I just discovered you on here and the videos have been very helpful. Thanks so much for all of the hard work 😍😍😍
I have ADHD what helps me is someone in the room . Can just sit there. You do some comp work, but just be in the same room. Just say sometimes... Fokus !!!
