What's It Like to Be Addicted to Ketamine? | Part One: How It Began 

Apologies for starting the video twice, I literally just noticed I used both takes as someone pointed out before 🤦‍♂ the real beginning of the video is at 2:17

Thank you for breaking the silence dude, many addicts die alone because of the shame associated with addiction/abuse. Please keep sharing your truth, love u back bro

Anyone can ingest some K. Not everyone can connect and communicate with an audience like you can. I am really glad that you recognized your value, your talents, and decided that you didn't want to waste them, to lose them. Rooting for you. Thank you for the content.

every day you're clean from an addiction is a step in the right direction...keep pressin forward everybody

Being neurodivergent is absolutely a gift! Don't worry about the mental diseases the media tries to attach to it like adhd. The mind is the most powerful tool we have and we can heal ourselves from most ailments by believing in our health and happiness! God bless you

These personal videos of yours honestly make my day every time you post them, no matter the topic. I think you are much more interesting than just your voice and the trip reports you read. I love hearing you speak your mind so honestly and openly. Feels like one of those deep soul to soul conversations you'd have with someone you just met at a festival, knowing you'll probably never see each other again

I am addicted to this shed content. ❤💯 Good on you for pulling ahead mate.

Making this video took immense courage, thanks for opening up about this and I hope you keep challenging yourself. Yes its still a relapse, but if the relapses are less severe, and fewer and further between over time, you're making good progress and shouldnt be discouraged. Keep the trip reports going mate and try to stay out of your head

Youre stronger than you think my friend. Remember those eho love you, count your blessings and keep striding forward. Bless you

I was balls deep in the K for a few years too. Manged to kick it thank God. You can too bro, you got this. Baby steps. Ups and downs. Proud of you for recognizing this, some people just stay lying to them selves forever. Love your Chanel btw dawg, truly wishing you the best

Big support on the recovery brother ❤

Great video! Thanks for sharing more of your experience. I'm personally addicted to alcohol, nicotine, weed, porn and my phone as well as more subtle stuff one often doesn't look at as an addiction like anger or certain unhealthy thought patterns. They don't have that strong of a grip on my life anymore as they used to but they're still there but I'm starting to get clear of most of them and am also starting to understand what caused them.

19 years clean here, unfortunately my son’s k addiction has taken him to prison. Stay clean one day at a time mate, I promise you it’s a fucking rush!

I was addicted to alcohol and speed ( basically every drug but those were my main drugs..) for years. My liver was giving up and a doctor said I was in a really bad state. I was also done mentaly because I was just fed up with the whole lifestyle and I also saw how much harder the drug world had become. People were stabbing each other for nothing. I must say that I had fun and met amazing people and have no regrets but the last years were just survival. Finally I decidet stop and got my shit together. Been clean for eight years now (well I have done some DMT and mushrooms a few times and those experiences have made my sober path even more stronger). I really don't have advice to give how to get off drugs. I just stopped and went on with my life. I did not make a big deal of it either. First two years were a bit strange and mental😂but after that things calmed down. My only focus was to get as far away as I could from my old lifestyle and start a "new" life. Today I am happy and live on the countryside with my family our horses,dogs and with the nature around us.

Since this is one of the first comments you might see this, but I wanted to say you're vids are great and inspiring

You may find this beneficial for restoring your cognition post-ketamine; I had done something similar to myself with both ketamine, and then later speed.. months after I still felt like 25% of my mind was lost forever. I researched this endlessly, hundreds of studies, and the only thing I found with substantial evidence to both prevent and reverse ketamine induced neurotoxicity and persistent cognitive impairment is daily acetyl-l-carnitine ALCAR). within a week my verbal and short-term memory we're pretty much back to baseline, I actually cried

Bro, that second start was a trip. I thought it was part of a performance and after listening to the content of this video, it added to the weight of your message, haha. I know I've never met you but I see you as one of my friends. You are the only "RU-vidr" I give my absolute focus and it hurts to see you hurting. Resonated so much with what you said about losing your ability to form connections and not being able to be extroverted anymore as that's what happens to me with weed. Off it now but not looking forward to the end of summer as that's when I go crawling back to it. Fingers crossed I can hold strong this year. I got pretty much addicted to MD back in the day but it was exclusive to when I was out socialising. My weed troubles have always been fucking grim though. So sorry you had to deal with heartbreak. I know it's a silly trope but it's true that it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. You were in a lot of pain because you cared so much and that's a beautiful thing so take solace in that please. Can tell you have a lot of love to give and as you mentioned towards the end of this video, you need to be able to love yourself to be loved. Dunno if you are in a new romantic relationship but that will help you not get on it so much if you find the right woman. I know this is a mad world but life wants you to procreate so a little Vivec can experience this extraordinary place. Look after yourself dude and don't feel like you have to partake just to keep giving us fresh perspectives and tales from first hand experiences. Your health is more important. Love you bro ❤️

I appreciate the honesty and you sharing your story. I fully understand why dissociatives can be addictive, if i ever had a steady supply of K, MXE, MXP, or 3-MEO-PCP (all of the dissociatives I've tried) I would have been in trouble. They really are like being in your own personal dream world, but on top of that they make you feel so physically comfortable and euphoric. Its like being wrapped in the biggest, warmest, softest blanket that also protects you from feeling any pain or discomfort. I remember walking around on feeling like i was floating on clouds rather than walking on my feet. I think the only reason I look back on these substances fondly is because I was only ever able to try them a handful of times and I didnt have large personal supplies.

Thank you for being able to open up with this, I'm happy to see that you're following the path to get over it (I hope you're over it already) I understand so difficult it's to talk about this topic, there's a big stigma with it, personally I'm in my lowest point too, in part for drugs abuse, in part for lack of any kind of support, being completely isolated, just fighting to avoid committing suicide. I don't think that I have an specific addiction to ketamine like you, in my case I think that it's more a generic addiction to the substances I usually take, but at some times I took it much more I remember having at some times some of the things you said, and the reasons to wanting to be in that state...It's pretty hard. It's kind of hard for me to see your videos, honestly, even if I found them amazing, well explained, composed and with a positive message, they kind of scare me, I'm starting to accept it, but for a while, I was completely afraid of discovering that I was in a worst situation that I thought I was. And that's why I see them slowly even if the topic it's like the center of my life nowadays and I'm so into understanding scientifically drugs. But as you said, it's a process, a long one probably, first thing is being self-aware of the problem, and starting to do small steps. We're onto a long ride. Let's keep it up while we can. *big hug from a non neurotypical person who feels a lot just by listening how you express yourself *

Beautiful stuff man. Transparency and authenticity are the biggest catalysts for change and you’ve got both. Thanks for sharing your story.

Ive been clean from heroin since May 3rd 2018. I was smoking it for 2 years. We can do it brother and im so proud of you for sharing your experience and moving forward. You will continue to heal honestly i didn't feel completely normal for almost 2 years but every month gets better and better. I had messed up my lungs from smoking heroin somehow they healed tremendously amd now i bike 20 miles for fun some days. You got my support and a life long follower here. I have a great feeling your going to heal much more than you expected.

Thankyou for being so vulnerable with your audience. That took balls and I respect you so much for it...many can't....and it ends their life. Your audience, regardless will continue to love you for you being you and your content. And in fact this will honestly make people love and respect you even more. We re given these challenges in life as a means of growth, as painful as it is. And do what is right for YOU. Do this for YOU. I wish you all the best in your recovery friend. Know you are supported.🤗

Bro as long as you're self aware and taking notes you're doing the right thing. Sometimes I watch myself make bad decisions that I don't stop for some reason, but instead of feeling guilty about it I ask "why did I do that?" And really try to get the root of it. I realized I always do things for a reason. But some of the things I do, are because of reasons aren't relevant anymore but that I stil think are.

aww, we love you too Vivec 🥰 I’m really glad that you’re going through recovery, there is no shame cause we all have our own ways of escaping ‘the everyday stress of everyday life’ but sometimes it goes past what’s best for us. What’s important is that you’re recovering and trying your best ☀️ I’ve decided this year to live ‘the psychedelic life’ even whilst I’m sober. I always embrace love and am a beacon of love for myself and everybody 24/7. I don’t permanently attach myself to anybody or anything because people & objects are temporary but love is forever, and the Universe’s love for you and everybody is forever 🌌💖🌎 and people will also always be attracted to those who are genuinely joyful and loving also 😊

Mate this one hit hard, been a pleasure listening to you narrate many trip reports and ive always had a fasination with reading them myself for years now. As a fellow northerner I really feel I can resonate with some of your stories, growing up in the uk club culture i've seen it first hand I was a recreational user for about 10 years, weekends mainly. ive had many mystical and spiritual moments that Id love to share with you. Respect for speaking out I think you can heal yourself and others.

Im super triggered, this is so relatable... Thanks for sharing your personal experience. It took me a couple of years to heal my body and cognitive facilities after a serious drug addiction... Once i was on track on the healing path, it was actually fun. Like a child gaining new abilities, but i was gaining my previous abilities back. I had to let some things go, because id outgrown them. And we have to let some things go, so we have space for healthier choices. Anyway, recovery is very possible and sooooo worth it. You're young and brilliant at what you do and there is much more for you to discover in this life. To quote Trainspotting "choose life!" Take care man. After recovery and throughout yoir life youll treasure this entire experience.. There is so much knowledge and wisdom in what youve experienced, you get to take that with you. And congratulations on creating and maintaining your channel. Its a really wonderful accomplishment and a beautiful way to sustain your livelyhood. Peace out beautiful being

I'm happy you are putting this video on RU-vid. I'm having a friend who struggles with a k Addiction, and he is changing a lot. I'm hearing nothing from him anymore it's like he is living on his own planned, I hope that this video can help him to see the reality and try to kick of the K. I really miss him...

you've learnt some hard stuff, stepped up and shared it to help other people. huge respect for that and best wishes for your continued recovery

Thanks for sharing this with us mate, much love to you

I am proud of you boss, you’ve come a long way with you’re struggles with ketamine addiction and I was in the same boat as you using it to get over a painful breakup so watching your content gives me hope that I can get through this keep it up!

Talking about this is gonna be a great help to people struggling through similar things, keep going mate and take time to look at the bigger picture and realise the progress you’re making long term. Relapses are almost certain with strong addictions but as long as you keep picking yourself back up, you’ll make it past this

Oh mate, thanks for sharing, the draw of living in a dream world does sound attractive. I've worked in recovery services and so many people do recover and live amazing lives beyond whatever wreckage has been left behind. I wish you well, go easy on yourself, be kind to yourself and maybe think about accessing a service in your area? The people are amazing, for what its worth I can vouch for that :-)

So cool how open you are about all of this. We’re all here to support you! This helps me as I work through some of my own addictions. Thanks for doing what you do!

Love it! Never quit quitting! You'll get there when your ready. I had a sweet experience on k and want to learn more about it before I dive in. But there's not much out there! Like you said.

I found this video very late. Thank you for making this video, it gives me insight on my own addiction. I love all your videos this one really hit home. Keep up the hard work☮️☯️

I feel your pain at 3:50. I had this feeling with DXM. I never got addicted to it but the third or fourth time I tried it I did 900mg, I had become convinced that DXM was going to turn me into a schizo. I never felt closer to death than I did that day, and I haven't done DXM since. I couldn't even act normal for a few weeks. Dissociatives can induce a type of existential dread that I have never experienced on traditional psychedelics.

thank you so much for opening up, your story is extremely important among all the stories that talk about ketamine/psychedelics in the positive light only. I've tried ketamine twice and I'm thinking about it often, I feel I'm addicted without actually doing it. Also I was surprised to see this video in my recommendations and then slowly realize that you are the narrator of reddit trip reports, as I was listening to them in the past I imagined the narrator as a buff guy in his 40s for some reason haha

I felt a LOT of what you said in this video. I was in a way very lucky to never have a consistent Ket plug, but whenever I buy a large ammount of ketamine, Ill basically binge it for days until I run out. It feels like that one pink floyd song really. comfortably numb. its such a lovely state, there is no hangover. sometimes you may even feel like youre accomplishing something because of the trippy properties it has, which makes it easier for you to justify the use, even though you really just want to escape into your own little bubble as you said. i love this substance way too much for my own good. thank you for sharing your story.

Wishing you the best brother. I have been struggling with cannabis and nicotine addiction for the past 2 years now. Two weeks clean from cannabis and one week clean from nicotine. It is important to take each day slowly and remember what you can accomplish without the substance that you crave. Not too sure if that makes sense but we all greatly appreciate and support you. Don’t forget that we are all here for you and you matter. Much love Vivec🤍

Buddy, I'm 4 years in to a K addiction, almost lost my bladder. Be safe. I still struggle, its the only thing that keeps me alive though. I struggle with PTSD as well.

I can relate somewhat to this. I think I might have ADHD, got on some meds but still struggling with overanalyzing, overthinking plus being in kind of a bad spot right now. Sober reality isn't such a great thing sometimes and I've often reached for a stiff drink or a bit of grass to drown out the noise. But like you said you have to come back to reality eventually. Stay safe brother ✊

im 17 years old and I had a major major ketamine addiction for the past 2 years im on my way to 5 months sober wish me luck guys.

Love what you do man, openness is really the only way to harness control. You're a good man and I appreciate you.

Wow 🙏💚✨ this is breathtakingly beautiful. This resonates so deeply I have only smoked 2 low doses of dmt just over a year ago and I want to take it again but I'm so scared it's ridiculous.. I already deeply understand the non duality you're talking about I just can't get past this fear but there is no rush 🙏 it will happen when I'm ready I'm going to see Mr Traumatik in Southampton next Friday and I'm thinking about taking it the next day when I get home. Just love your content I always listen to you before and after tripping 💚

Thank you for making this! Good luck, we believe in you man! You're one of my favourite RU-vidrs to listen to -- not just the trip reports but the original content as well

The man the myth! Enjoy your content buddy, im currently battling a kratom addition! It really sucks and as with any addiction man i wish you the best

I really enjoy your readings, I find them very relaxing. I wish you the best to recover your health.

I was addicted to meth, heroine, pills and alcohol for 12 years. KNOCK IT OFF! Lay in bed and suffer for 2-3 weeks and you'll be out of it. It's horrible but DO IT!!

Thank you for sharing brother 🙏🏽 This is a good reminder for me to take it easy with the stuff and take long breaks from it aswell

Thankyou so much for this mate! You’re helping me understand my own addiction and give me hope to get better 💙

Sending Love energy, go out and ground with bare feet. We asked Mother Gia to send you healing energy! 😇🥰😇🔥♥️💜

Thank you Vivec for sharing your experience with us. As an enthusiast myself, i can easily say this video brought me a few more weeks of abstinence. Genuinely inspiring.

Whatever you're doing, you're holding it together, and I'm proud of you

Dr Emil’s lions mane, Carlyle bacopa, and some brand’s PS-100 seemed to give me photographic flashbacks of memory which would help me find stuff all the time. Still take bacopa and lion’s mane. Maybe it’ll help you guys :)

Sorry to hear you've been having a hard time! I can connect to how your early 20ies feel, and the K too a bit. I manage to use it mostly medically, with tiny bits of abuse, I can think of three reasons why I don't use excessively. The main one is, that K doesn't reliably help my anxiety, this I can't share, my other reasons are probably a bit silly, but might work for others: Ketamine promotes cosmic thinking, so did the books on cosmology I read as a teen. Ketamine gives me similar levels of calm as sitting in a bamboo forest in asia does, I kid you not. I'm pretty sure some people find similar states in meditation, if you want to spend hours there, learn to meditate, life is long enough to learn. I also think that K promotes thought that connects more to the collective unconscious. If you look that up, you might find you already have access to that, difference is you don't usually select for it when sober. Anywhichway, we, amongst other things, work in psychological backdrops, if you can change your experience so K becomes the worse solution to what you want, you've won.

All the world is with you thanks for your help on my own addiction

For me Ketamine loses its magic if I do it too much. I just get the spins and see double like alcohol. It loses its thought provoking nature if done more than occasionally.

2:18 restart was a spin man, especially for those on K. Had to say something to calm the nerves :)

Hey brotha. I was horribly addicted to k and many other drugs. I know how hard it is and powerful it is. You can get through this. I’m now almost 4 years clean from all substances. Got clean when I was 19 and still going strong but I totally understand how powerful using k to stay in the dream world is and why it made me so hopelessly addicted. Your not alone man stay strong

Hello mate, I had same addiction mate went thru same thing break up with a deep love it was hard and wanted to mask the hurt out. So much destruction I caused. Happy to be clean and I’m happy for you keep going man🤝🙏

I’m into my Ket addiction now and I’m going to try to stop soon. Love you bro ❤

Wishing you contentment and peace with managing your addiction, your channel helps me, hopefully this helps you.

I have got a massive amount of love for you, Brother.

About the different forms of ketamine. There is S isomer, R isomer, and racemic which is a mixture of both. Nearly all illicit ketamine is racemic because there's no profit incentive to separate the isomers. It is often marketed as one or the other isomers, but it's usually a mixture. And increasingly there are reports of analogues being introduced. When we use illicit ketamine, we really don't know what we're getting. People sometimes feel ketamine is the exception, but it's not, it's frequently mis-sold and adulterated with cuts, often with MSG.

One time my girlfriend and I took MXP and watched The Holy Mountain together. We both had the exact same experience of leaving our bodies and being in the movie, experiencing it in first person, and that by the end we had been revealed the deepest and most meaningful information of the whole universe. It was insane and incredible. I still dont fully understand what happened but it remains one of the most memorable and important experiences of my life. I can totally see how one might get addicted to that feeling

My addiction has been alchohal mainly and coke bc it helped me drink more.. For years and years. Destroyed my entire life. I'm 6 months into recovery. Doesn't feel like my brain will ever go back to normal bc normal was my drug addled brain. It's getting easier and I know what I'm doing is right and what is best even though it's the hardest thing I've ever put myself through. There is hope it does get easier and things do get better. Anyone reading this struggling with addiction don't give up. There is a life without the suffering and pain addiction brings✌️❤

Been prescribed ketamine for about a year. I’m on 850mg a day. I’ve been trying to cut back. I haven’t taken any in a few days and it definitely feels like you come back to reality. I just feel like I can’t get enjoyment out of normal things I used to love. I use for depression, anxiety and pain. I have gotten over my ptsd mainly, but have dealing with a breakup and now it’s coming back with her taking me to court. I struggle with ADD as well and definitely need medication to function. The street ketamine is definitely different from the medical clinical trials. I don’t notice any physical withdrawal, but definitely a mental addiction somewhat like cocaine or nicotine. Just wanting to do it when you have it.

I'm glad you're doing better. We can definitely learn a lot from difficult times. I just came out of an opiate habit but I've been smoking non stop ever since I've been put on meds to come off of them. Its usually stated how weed has no physical addiction, and I think the same is with ketamine, but the psychological addiction is something that can't be underestimated. Never had a problem with k thankfully, at least yet... Keep at it dude, you aren't alone. I found what you said about your mind pretty relatable too, about adhd and just generally an overactive mind. Its my main problem. I've found myself often feeing numb throughout parts of my life, is this something you've dealt with? I would attribute a lot of it in my teen years to weed, but even without i have experienced a level of emotional numbness at points, almost like everything feels a little bit dreamlike

I have been doing ketamine for 15 years. Just about every single Friday I will do it after work, or save it for either Saturday or Sunday, depending on what I am doing for the weekend. I think it all comes down to discipline to be honest. And if you know you can't handle it, then it's not for you. Great video though brother. It is great to see a different view on the substance.

Thank you for sharing your story vivec❤ we believe in you man much love

I am a K addict. I am 60 days sober now after a 1 and a half year battle. Still battling. I couldnt have done it without going to rehab. Addicts always try to do it all alone and that's our problem. It destroyed my relationship with the people around me and myself. Please stop now, the longer you wait the harder it will become to recover

Love your videos and love you! I’m a Vivec fan for life 😄

Big ups! Last time saw you, you were jungle raving at a festival. Great to put a face to a name. 😎

Love you, keep up the good work, I'm so so proud of you ❤️❤️❤️

This is so real dude. My weed addiction started the same way. A break up.

So much insight in this video. Thank you. 🙏🕊💜

the term doplamine stacking has been rattling around my head recently

I can't imagine an addiction like this would take years I mean I think your entire bladder would collapse and be destroyed and you'd be dead because ketamine is notorious for riding your bladder

Three types of ketamine Esketamine arketamine and R-ketamine I have no clue the difference between the last two

So this is the man behind the camera

Keep on your journey friend. You are a humble person

Thank you... I have a very close relative who is long term addicted to K It'd awful and so dangerous He's in remission thank god... but we have been there before. Now it's being used as treatment for ironically ptsd and depression etc. The addiction isn't talked about I have search the tube for a long time and there are next to no videos Do again thank you 🙏

I struggle with all the exact same things, which is probably what helped lead me into opiate addiction. It quieted down my over thinking. I think if I had had access to Ketamine I'd have ended up addicted to it as well, I seem to be drawn to anything that helps me dissociate

Listening to this its actually what im going through at the moment and have been reading and watching how about going about quiting because i keep saying i want to but its like my mind split in two and throughout the day i could be against and the other side was id be urging hard

It's all a bit weird for me. I'm on the wrong side of 40 now. My partying days are well over. But just recently this Saturday I went to an event and a young lad asked if I knew anyone selling any Ket. (I didn't) But that got me thinking "Why Ket?".... So yesterday I had a good look on youtube to see how popular ket is, and a lot of the videos discussing it in the party scene are all uploaded within the last 5 years. I'm quite familiar with a lot of substances, around 2000-2012 I'd probably say my partying days hit their peak. But Ket was occasionally the drug we used when it was the only thing available. We dubbed it Regretamine for obvious reasons. I still can't quite fully comprehend anyone getting addicted to it. (Although I do understand the escape from reality side of it) but I hope you manage to get clean from it mate.

Wish you the best man, I’m really happy you’re recovering from it and I believe you have the right mentality that will get you out of this. Watching your video some of your words really gave me some comfort as I’m going through withdrawals myself as I cold turkey something… I also sent this video to a good friend of mine that has a big K problem . From the time he wakes up in the morning with breakfast to the time he goes to bed , he’s doing K 24/7 and a shit ton since his tolerance has gone up after 4 years of this schedule. I really makes me sad to see how is affecting him but I hope your words will touch his heart like it did to me. Much love man, you got this.

We are here for you brotha.....I've always wanted to try ketamine but have been hesitant to try it.

Sounds like an opioid. It doesn't dissociate you from reality, but from pain (both physical and emotional) so you get used to not dealing with stuff. It hurt physically to stop using opiates, but emotonally too, as you had to deal with the stuff you were avoiding, the withdrawal and the sense of guilt and loss over the addicton all at once!

Mate I was a month clean from weed. Broke my sobriety this weekend. Weed was terrible quality, didn’t get high so i don’t count this as “breaking my sobriety”. Doesn’t mean i can’t keep going though! Just a hiccup. Will keep this streak going.

Fellow UK resident here. Honestly I don't blame you for being addicted to ketamine, I probably would be too if it was more accessable for me. It's such a fun drug. And I bet you've had the times of your life on it, haha. But I pray that you would be able to get off it if that's what you want or at least be able to do it in moderation, and that your bladder would not get damaged. God bless

As soon as I saw the title I loaded up this video man. Getting out of the corps fucked up I was railing line after line alone in my room. Ended up homeless and got my shit together. Even now after my life’s rebuilt and probably better then before I still want to rail a line and lay in bed every day bro. Only drink a little smoke a lot of weed and trip shroomies bout every 2 to every week and have been able to manage well. Prayer for my k fiends out there 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

I get soooo many younger people asking for ketamine its crazy how popular it is now in the US too.. Its a powerful compound, I hope y'all are testing your shit and being as safe as possible. I got a late ADHD diagnosis last month, adderall has done wonders for the compounding issues it comes with, dextro is powerful stuff though pound for pound trust me. At your age I was dependent on strong opioid meds and sedatives it was really bad, healing takes time bud, and it sucks most days but getting some sober time isnt too bad after awhile.. its a mental battle more than anything and there's no ill judgment here. Im no sober andy and still go to raves, but some aspects that are clearly unhealthy need to be shed or it wont end the way you think. At least you're mature enough to recognize it as a legitimate issue, a lot struggle with that their entire lives. I think youll be alright, slip ups will happen btw, just catch yourself on the way down bud.

3:58 LOL same, the shit is so weird. I’ve never gone to be diagnosed, but I also agree adhd is high key a super power. Constantly thinking isn’t the worst thing when you’re thinking of creative shit.

Every time I notice a slight wiff of something coming up as an option a little bit too much I don't do it. I enjoy making things not boring. Keep them rare and special. That said I am in a pretty bad coffee addiction right now. Lol Good on you m8 for putting a brake on your addiction.

Good on you for acknowledging it brotha, wish you peace I struggle myself w kratom.

always keeping it real love u my g

I used to be addicted to dxm when I was 18. I would take boxes of the stuff and thought I was like enlightened at one point. I definitely lost my mind and ended up in the hospital one day. I thought some truly schizo wild stuff. But I also experienced the most beautiful feelings of my life. I still think about it a lot even though it’s been almost a decade. For two years after I felt like a ghost. I had a two second memory for a few months and couldn’t really talk at all. Couldn’t read. I feel like people don’t get it at all cause they just think dxm is some gas station highschool bullshit but I was taken a lot of it and mixing it with a ton of weed. I really thought everyone became angels and we were all ascending to the next level of reality where all our dreams came true. Coming down from that was really harsh. I will never experience anything that beautiful again. It was also terrifying though. It felt like my bind was actually blowing up.

"shed" your burdens, brother 😊

Love your channel. I highly recommend skateboarding the benefits outweigh the booboos plus once you get your balance your good. It’s helped me so much with my cognition and health and I can’t recommend it enough

I was addicted to khole for a year. Started off kholing from 250mg and by the end i was doing gram lines and not fully in the hole. Did 3g per day for 4months. Only quit when i started pissing blood and chunks of bladder tissue and having cramps.