What's My Love Language? 💗 | Hannah Witton

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Do I want to be told I'm great? Or would I prefer my partner to do the dishes? In this episode of #WhoAmI In Bed, I'm taking the Five Love Languages Quiz ❓💗 Take the quiz: www.5lovelangu...
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5 окт 2024

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Комментарии : 333

@hannahwitton 4 года назад

Thanks for watching! What's your love langauge? Has it changed?

@alpotato2678 4 года назад

12 physical touch 7 words of affirmation 6 quality time 5 Acts of service 0 receiving gifts

@kibrika 4 года назад

Yes, I grew up thinking I wasn't touchy feely until I met someone who actually provides me with enough touchy felly-ness. I don't think I could go back now.

@annikao.j.2467 4 года назад

My top 3 are: quality time, acts of service and physical touch. I think that in my previous relationship I didn't get proper quality time and that is probably one of the reasons why I need it so much now.

@anouk1153 4 года назад

My top 3 is quality time (with 11 points!), acts of service and words of affirmation. I feel like acts of service has become way more important since I started living with my partner!

@beatricelafontaine5747 4 года назад

Quality time! 👫🏻

@JessicaPaulsen 4 года назад

A great way Ive found to explain the different ones is by using coffee Acts of service: Someone makes you coffee Affirmation: Saying your coffee is delicious Receiving gifts: I bought you a coffee Quality time: Lets go get coffee together Physical touch: Let me hold you like a coffee (this one is a little silly) Love this video

@stacib1992 4 года назад

Good examples

@blazinkid5178 4 года назад

That last one is freaking aborable

@zaphod888 4 года назад

Put your coffee down so we can cuddle

@sylvan44 3 года назад

okay but holding your partners face (like how you hold a warm coffee cup to warm your hands) is the BEST

@ghouling1111 3 года назад

"Let me hold you like a coffee" Need on a shirt LMAO

@blindfishideas 4 года назад

100% believe that in a relationship people often (it's true for me) start to crave the love language their partner is least fluent in. I think we all need a mix and when one is frequently absent or low we start to value the times we receive it more. But also I think the stage a relationship is at can have an effect. The love language we might crave when we first get to know someone might be different from when we are building a home together, which might change again if we start caring for children and on and on. I think the stage of a relationship can be very significant.

@sofiaivarsson3482 4 года назад

I like your thoughts on stages in a relationship effecting your love language. For me the other persons personality is also important. One of my friends love giving gifts so from him i rather get a well thought thrue gift than a hug even though I generally score higher on physical touch but an other friend hates giving and reciving gifts so from him I would rather have the hug.

@danjal87nl 4 года назад

I wouldn't say that's necessarily true for everyone. Sure if you appreciate them evenly - or at least you're provided for most of them to the degree that you desire them. And one is missing? You're gonna notice that more than the presence of one you technically desire more but whose needs are met. But I don't think that if you aren't naturally into say, gift-giving as a way for someone to express their love to you? That you're suddenly going to desire a ton of gifts when you're with a partner who doesn't really do the whole showring their SO in gifts thing? Obviously in every relationship communication is key, and talking about how you're experiencing things goes a long way, acknowledging that some things might shift or change overtime is part of that. But I'd actually go the complete opposite direction and say that most people don't really know what they actually want - but instead have an idea what they want based on incomplete information or reactive information. Basicly, if you're basing your personal wants and needs off of your most recent relationship. Then the thing you were missing might be unrealistically emphasized even though it's not necessarily something you crave a lot. It's the same with a lot of these personality tests that people fail to distinguish their innate tendencies or desires from momentary impulses. ---- Speaking for myself. While I can appreciate a well thought through gifts? If someone were to primarily rely on gifts I'd just feel like they were trying to either hide something or compensate for something. It'd just make me uneasy and on edge. Quality time, acts of service and physical touch will always rank higher. Words of affirmation are nice, but meaningless if not backed by action.

@aksez2u 4 года назад

Thank you for explaining my entire marriage to me!

@Jellybeansatdusk 3 года назад

I think yes and no: Some people love words but some people hate the idea of empty words or saying something without doing something. Some ace people are not just sex repulsed but also uncomfortable with other amorous physical contact. Personally for me, when I receive gifts outside of Christmas or a birthday I feel very uncomfortable. I feel like I now owe them something, or I feel guilty for not having thought to get something for them. Plus I’m not a fan of trinkets. I love when someone makes me a meal or writes me a poem or sweet message or even buys flowers or something, but when I receive a piece of jewelry or something to sit on a shelf and do nothing, I have nowhere to put it and I can’t throw it out and I feel SO ungrateful. I do love thoughtful gifts, though, but only sparingly.

@samantharetzlaff5980 4 года назад

My husband and I first took the test when we got engaged, and we took it again very recently. And both of ours changed. But not because we're deprived of a certain language. He's very stable in his job and needs Words of Affirmation less, whereas I've been dealing with depression so I need it more. We'll definitely be taking the test every few years so we can stay up to date on each other's languages.

@hannahwitton 4 года назад

I like this idea!! I need to get Dan to do it

@qquadratt 4 года назад

me: taking the quiz before watching the video, cause im a good gal nobody: the quiz: bUt Do U LiKe GiFtS tHo??

@MariaLCirillo 4 года назад

I 100% resonate with "I've turned into an Acts of Service person because I live with someone who can't do Acts of Service." I thought I was totally alone in this and I feel so SEEN right now!!!

@ryantrue4844 4 года назад

Dan's watching this writing down notes 😅

@hannahwitton 4 года назад

lol wish he watched my videos, unforunately this means I'm actually gonna have to COMMUNICATE NORMALLY with him ugh

@tiffanyferg 4 года назад

Words 👏🏻 of 👏🏻 affirmation 👏🏻 !!!

@hannahwitton 4 года назад

I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS!! They good words of affirmation?? (hope you feel better soon re: your last one) also, I just purchased “How To Do Nothing” because of you.

@Jellybeansatdusk 3 года назад

The BPD motto 😂

@writerjesus 4 года назад

When my partner and I first got together, we took the quiz so we knew how to best communicate. We’re long distance so it’s super important to both of us that we make the other feel loved. Her physical touch was much higher ranked than mine but I kept that in mind. When we see each other, I prioritize hugs and affectionate touch. She knows that I’m big on words of affirmation and quality time. We’ve been together for almost 2 years and I think, now, my love language is probably physical touch because I have so much positive feelings around it. Like it makes me happy and my partner happy, so it’s Double the positive reinforcement!

@thompsonwright7434 4 года назад

I did love the “love languages” test, it’s fun, but just be careful and read the book if you can. He uses some very odd methods to reinforce his findings. The final chapter of the book is more or less Gary Chapman suggesting to a woman that she should have sex with her husband in the name of god. It’s a very odd chapter and left my friends and I all very confused about our true understanding of the premise as a whole.

@jayc9345 4 года назад

If you go to the "quizzes" bit up at the top of that site it also has some to find out your Apology language - which I didn't even know was a thing until I went to retake the test after a breakup awhile ago. Interesting stuff.

@hannahwitton 4 года назад

heard about the apology lanauge from Shan Boody - could be a good video for this series!

@emmi3785 4 года назад

Jay, thank you! I must take that quiz in the future!

@ThetaAllardyce 4 года назад

Laughed out loud about the “when he tells me I love you I’m like WHY to get something out of him”. That is so relatable, but I thought I was being weird/needy about this. I have to say I love the idea of love languages, which helps articulating some of the things I’m feeling. But I don’t find the quiz very useful, because I think they could basically just ask “which love language do you prefer” since it’s quite obvious in most cases which they are referring to. I really struggle to answer the questions, and I’m not able to decide which are my top two. All of them are important to me, but I think I could do without gifts and acts of service. The other three seem equally important to me, I need a lot of all of them

@misswilde3054 4 года назад

"if you love me, Henry, you don't love me in a way I understand" - Richard Siken

@alpotato2678 4 года назад

Who else is watching all the #whoami in bed videos wile doing the quiz. It's like I'm doing the quiz with a friend

@hannahwitton 4 года назад

aw yay!

@tormuse2916 4 года назад

I actually read the book some years ago, and it was eye-opening in terms of making sense of my first relationship, back in the day. She valued acts of service, while I value quality time. The fact that we didn't understand this at the time created a situation where both of us felt like we were trying in the relationship, but felt that the other was not trying, because she was constantly doing things around the house, whereas my attitude was kind of "I don't really care who does it, as long as it gets done... and at the same time, I was trying to make time for her, but all she wanted to do was watch TV. (Which wasn't very stimulating for me) Looking back, if I'd had that understanding, I wouldn't have minded doing things around the house to make her feel more loved. Actually, it could have been fun to come up with things to do, like make lunch for her to take to work or whatever.

@brettcarruthers8838 4 года назад

I was almost expecting Hannah to answer Dan's "I love you" with "I know."

@TheQuoteandQuill 4 года назад

My partner and I are polyamorous, so communicating how we want our relationship to work, and how we want to be shown love, is a foundation of our partnership. When I took the quiz, I got 8 on acts of service, and 7 on quality time, physical touch, and words of affirmation. And no one was surprised. ;) I personally bake words and touch into quality time - I think those things are all intrinsically linked for me and would be hard to separate. We are working really hard to make quality time a priority - we both work full time, we have two kids, and he currently has another partner while I do not (I guess I'm looking but small towns make that hard.) We scheduled a family night and weekend dates with or without kids, but I didn't bring up the idea that acts of service need to be a part of how he shows love for me. It's been a long struggle - just yesterday he forgot to do the dishes (which he promised to do) and forgot about the cup of coffee I had made him (which made me feel forgettable when I found it on the counter when I got back from work.) We've been together 8 years, but it's always a process! We never stop learning about ourselves or each other.

@stacib1992 4 года назад

It's good you guys make it work! It's hard to do!

@vazul666 4 года назад

After being single for years now: 12 Physical Touch 8 Quality Time 5 Acts of Service 4 Words of Affirmation 1 Receiving Gifts BTW, I love when you sing the answers :D And I absolutely agree the priorities change in different relationships and phases of relationship, but I highly doubt the first one changes unless the first and second are close to begin with and the other person can only speak the second and not the first. I don't think that's possible in a long term romantic relationship anyway.

@livinginadaydream1 4 года назад

There was a guy I was interested in and sometimes he would get lunch for me from the cafeteria and it was so simple but I looooved it like yes boy you know my language

@kokopuppy57342 4 года назад

13:52 it’s the American version of holiday. Like Christmas or Easter when people exchange gifts lol lost in translation

@dobetterwithchristian4472 4 года назад

I think it’s definitely possible for your love language to shift based on different variables. Getting older, your partner, loss of friends, death of a loved one. I think as I’ve gotten more busy and experienced more anxiety, mine has changed from quality time to acts of service. I tell my husband regularly that I would rather he help me with the dishes or laundry than buy me anything, but I know he values gifts. So I buy him little things periodically, and he takes out the trash or folds towels. It definitely takes a lot of communication and commitment to loving in a way that is unfamiliar to you, but it’s definitely worth it.

@alexhelme853 4 года назад

Only five minutes in but I’m TRIGGERED by these descriptions WOW. I see Words or affirmation not as needing to be told how great you are but just needing feelings to be verbally expressed, if someone is feeling something about me in a moment they need to verbalize it or it’s not real to me and I don’t believe it. And quality time isn’t only about spending the time together, although that’s important, but about putting in the effort to see me, that is HUGE, I’d someone’s making plans to see me, not just agreeing to it, I will FEEL THE LOVE. If you’re not making some of the plans then you don’t care about me and that’s just how it goes.

@majinta0_0 4 года назад

i find myself wanting to hug people all the time. whether it be complete strangers, close friends, or teachers, anytime i sense something is off i want to give a hug.

@AvivaRuth 4 года назад

I've taken this before on my own, and now that I'm in a relationship I've taken it again and I've gotten the same answers. I think that's because my partner and I have very similar love languages and give each other what we need. Mine are Quality Time and Words of Affirmation (1 point apart), Physical Touch close behind (I think that got closer since starting a relationship), followed by acts of service and recieving gifts

@louisacoote2337 3 года назад

Physical touch, words of affirmation and quality time for me. Gifts are a 0 for me, but it’s the way I « speak » to people, to show them that I care.

@lils6407 3 года назад

I knew mine was mostly Acts of Service followed by Receiving Gifts (precisely, based on the test: 37% and 33%). I love that they notice the little things enough to do something for me and help me out 🥰relationships are all about being there for each other, it's a partnership, and I think I rely quite a bit on that. Love it!

@wolfferoni 4 года назад

I highly recommend anyone interested in the 5 love languages to actually read the book. It's fairly short but goes much more in depth. It made me question my results, especially since it was really difficult for me to do and I had quite a few similar level languages. It also gives examples/ case studies for when couples didn't speak the same love language. To your questions, I definitely agree that your love language changes depending on what you're receiving (or not receiving), especially if your score for the languages aren't at extreme ends and are all relatively important. If you're not getting some need or desire met, it makes sense for you to want that more to feel satisfied.

@lavayuki 4 года назад

Mine was physical touch as the highest, followed my quality time. Physical touch is definitely no.1 for romantic partners compared to the others. I hardly scored anything on acts of service and receiving gifts as I'm so used to handling stuff myself and tend to buy things I want for myself. But for family, I only do gifts, and none of the others. My ex was definitely gift giving, he always gave me random presents, and also flowers every week.

@NotPMHarper 4 года назад

I 100% believe that your love language can change based on your relationship or lack thereof. In my last relationship, we didn't live together so quality time was my top one, followed by physical touch. Now I live with my partner and have done basically since the beginning, so it's still up there but I'm not starved of it. Also, like I said before, quality time used to be my top one but now that I'm with a person that speaks quality time but doesn't speak acts of service (and we're also domestic uni students with no time), acts of service means a lot more to me now. My results: Acts of service 11, physical touch 8, quality time 7, words of affirmation 4, receiving gifts 0.

@photosinensis 4 года назад

It changed because of the nature of your relationship! And yeah, that's exactly what you noticed. To people who live on their own, acts of service don't matter. I have to do everything anyway, so I don't really care that someone else does it for me. It isn't happening. But to people for whom it matters, it becomes considerably more obvious when they're in committed relationships.

@daisymay156 4 года назад

My languages are still Physical Touch and Quality Time, but my understanding of what Quality Time actually entails/requires has definitely shifted within my relationship. I used to think Quality Time required like, big dates and gestures and stuff, but what I actually value is just being near that person now, especially since our relationship is long distance

@kennahconnett8480 4 года назад

My love language DEFINITELY changed being in a relationship. Random Stats: -The strength of Quality time dipped from an 11 to a 9 (from my memory) -Acts of Service became second after being MUCH lower in ranking before. -Before my relationship I had strong Quality Time and Physical Touch (low everything else) -Now I have strong Quality Time, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch -Both before and after I had very low Words of Affirmation and Gifts. Additionally I find it interesting that I have developed a Gift Giving love love language-as opposed to Gift Receiving; like you, I believe in a distinction between ones Giving and Receiving love language. Mind you this I haven’t read the book either...

@theaudiobookaficionado 4 года назад

people shit on gift giving a lot but it's my fave love language!! i think people view it as materialistic and therefore shallow but I guess I'm materialistic in the sense that i love the material world, i love objects and things that i can touch and hold and physically interact with. i dont care about the cost of something, i just like having things in my life that connect me to people i love. and i really love the meaningfulness of a good gift where someone a) knows you really well and b) was thinking of you when you're apart.

@norahmyers5535 4 года назад

My dad hardly ever says he loves me or he is proud of me. He shows love through service and helping others. It took me years to understand that you have to pay attention to the way that other people show that they care. It always used to make me so mad that he barely ever said he loved me or hugged me, but he helps me all the time and helps everyone. That's how he shows that he cares.

@robertmenzies6939 4 года назад

So agree with you that the things you know your missing from your partner are the things you focus on when taking the test. do I really feel this way? Or am I taking what I have now for granted and looking for the things I miss. My results 10 Physical Touch, 9 Acts of Service, 7 Quality Time, 4 Words of Affirmation, 1 Receiving Gifts

@probably_notbob5794 4 года назад

I read the book years ago. I speak all of the love languages but quality time definitely is the one that makes the biggest impact on me

@lucywatkinson1461 4 года назад

I’m obsessed with love languages!! It’s always a question I ask in early stages of new relationships as a compatibility measure 🤷🏻‍♀️x

@hannahwitton 4 года назад

if you have different love languages, that doesn't necessarily mean you're incompatible. However, if someone is unwilling to to adapt and make an effort in their partner's love language, that might not work out...

@kujmous 4 года назад

I think there is a built in flaw when taking this test alone while in a relationship, and that is that we feel a stronger response to things we are lacking and a numbed response to things that have become common.

@kujmous 4 года назад

....and you reached this conclusion by the twenty minute mark. Nice. :)

@Lucia-ef9zd 4 года назад

But I don't think its a flaw.. I think its quite realistic that you find the language that you don't hear frequently more meaningfull!

@kennahconnett8480 4 года назад

I personally think that instead of asking what you find most meaningful, they could’ve asked what you need the most (crave the most?) (enjoy the most?). I may not know what the right phrase is-I just think they could’ve used a better phrase to avoid the issue you’re speaking about.

@lilacsmoon9067 4 года назад

as a non monogamous person i find the love languages thing fascinating, and i find it especially fascinating because i seem to be needing different people to speak different love languages with me! i'm always, regardless, a high words of affirmation person, but if i do the quiz thinking of my girlfriend, the second one becomes "quality time" - she's very busy, so every evening we manage to spend together is precious and cherished. if i do the quiz thinking of someone else i'm becoming close to, it's physical touch, because cuddles and hugs seem to be their main expression of affection. and when i was cohabiting with a partner, acts of service was so much higher up than now! because of course, now that i'm the only one responsible for the tidiness of my living space, it doesn't matter as much if someone washes my dishes.

@rebeccathompson8712 4 года назад

I hugely think it not only depends on the relationship, but the situation. My partner and I are long distance, before we were, we both ranked really highly in physical touch, but since being LD, the best is quality time. Just getting to be together is top thing because we get so little of it. And the words of affirmation, you can't do much to speak love languages when you're apart except saying I love you, and I appreciate you, and you look so cute in that selfie.

@sugglet36 4 года назад

no yeah someone on twitter said your love language is just what you didn't receive enough of as a child and i soooooooo feel that. so like pre-romantic relationships, my main love languages were physical touch>>acts of service>> quality time>>words of affirmation>>receiving gifts

@maz.s 4 года назад

I don't actually think that's true, my main love language is physical touch and I definitely got enough of that growing up. My family are very huggy people.

@k1tkat-kate 4 года назад

I read this book and took this quiz in university, and I think my two highest scores were Words of Affirmation and Quality Time. Now my scores are 10 Quality Time 7 Acts of service AND words of affirmation 5 Physical Touch 1 Receiving gifts which definitely makes sense because I'm much more of a "I don't care what we're doing, I just want to hang out with you" person now, but I still value words and offers to help.

@charlym7088 4 года назад

I feel like acts of service becomes more of a relevant one once you live together. It didn't use to be important to me either but now that I live with my boyfriend it makes me very happy when I get home and he's done the dishes or cooked for me.

@OnlyOneTubing 4 года назад

you can tell she's not lying because you can physically see she is relaxing as the quiz goes on.

@ugenewis 4 года назад

I don't know how Hannah found this but I love it. I was answering questions as Hannah asked them for example Big Hugger😍

@dontknowwhatimdoing3642 4 года назад

My love language is every love language except recieving gifts. I almost the same percentage for quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch and acts of service. The biggest fifference is 3 percent. So I need all the love, I guess? I'm very needy maybe?

@sylvan44 3 года назад

my partner and i have taken this test and also the teen, platonic one to compare and it was such a cool thing to do at the beginning of our relationship!! we have different percentages but we both have quality time and physical touch as our top ones and then words of affirmation :) it’s been so so helpful to have in mind and it’s made everything more lovely :)

@TotalRejectEllen 4 года назад

I think that acts of service has a bad rep and to a lesser extent- gift giving! Those are my top two, but to me it means that someone wants to do small things to make my life better or easier, and that means a lot to me. I also think your previous relationships, romantic, familial, friendships, form what important to you. Whether you grew up without or grew up in an abundance of. I just love the Love Languages!

@DaniCal1forn1a 3 года назад

My main love language has always been acts of service, but when I had uncontrolled chronic pain, physical touch was near the bottom, whereas now it's under reasonable control, so physical touch is nearly as high as acts of service 😅

@xeshacinds 4 года назад

Omg mine has changed! At the beginning of my relationship (4 years ago), mine was words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch and then the others but now it's physical touch first?! My fiancé has always had physical touch first so I wonder if we grow to enjoy receiving love the same way we learn to give it to our partner because it's their language?

@vazul666 4 года назад

... and bamm, you just destroyed my hypothesis about the first language and changes through the relationship :D

@xeshacinds 4 года назад

@@vazul666 haha I'm sorry!! It's so interesting hearing everyone's ideas on it :D

@SillyStokey92 4 года назад

My love language changed from when I was single to in a relationship. My love language when I was single was Physical Touch. Now that I'm happily settled, my love language is both Words of Affirmation and Acts of Service.

@AthynVixen 4 года назад

Ooh I did the singles one as like Hannah I thought you would have to both take it. I'll go back tomorrow and see if it differs if u do the couples one

@RyanBischoffPercussion 4 года назад

8 Physical Touch 8 Quality Time 8 Words of Affirmation 5 Acts of Service 1 Receiving Gifts Sounds about right. I did the Singles Quiz. Pretty much the same exact questions. I wonder if they’re weighted differently...???

@gracelarmee Год назад

I know this was ages ago so you probably aren t still looking at the comments but for the question about gifts on a holiday, it's referring to an American version of Holiday. For British people (and maybe other countries too idk) a holiday is when you go away to a nice place for a bit so you can relax or do activities or whatever. Americans call that a vacation. American holidays are the different days that there are celebratory festivities each year such as Christmas, Halloween, Easter, Hanukkah, someone's birthday etc. Most of those holidays involve a gift. Therefore, the question would refer to being excited about opening gifts at Christmas or something.

@ObsessedWallflower 4 года назад

When I took the quiz last year I was in a relationship and got Quality Time as my highest and Physical Touch as the lowest and that made completely sense for me because one of the things that annoyed me the most about that relationship was that whenever we were together my partner would want to be touching me at all times, whilst I'd just want to be doing small things - the touching drove me mad. This time around taking the singles quiz I got Acts of Service tied with Quality Time and Physical Touch was third (tied with Words of Affirmation). I just found it so interesting how it reflects what you're going through at the moment. Like, when I was dating I got so annoyed at being touched at all times but now that I don't have that I wouldn't mind as much?? I just know Quality Time will forever be the first for me

@nervengewitter 4 года назад

It's funny, I used to be really high into verbal affirmation. Over the course of my now 7 year relationship I found that actions are actually a lot more important to me. So quality time, acts of service and physical touch. I don't care about gifts, at least not material ones. The greatest gift is time and attention :) Unsurprisingly, quality time came highest in my test.

@BeautifullyReckles 4 года назад

I am acts of service then quality time. It's the same for all relationship types: friends, family, romantic.

@RainyBlueSkies 4 года назад

Im not in a relationship atm and I think it makes a lot of sense that my highest was quality time with a score of 11, closely followed by physical touch at 9 - things I'm lacking currently and desire in someone! Words of affirmation was a 7 which I think also fits, and Acts of service was a 3 with receiving gifts at a 0.

@567secret 4 года назад

10 - Words of Affirmation 9 - Quality Time 6 - Physical Touch 3 - Acts of Service 2 - Receiving Gifts Definitely seems about right to me, "acts of service" & "receiving gifts" feel very transactional to me and that's a BIG "No" from me, quality time is about equal to words of affirmation in my head so that makes sense, on top of both of those I often feel like physical touch is an added bonus which makes sense with it trailing not far behind the first two. Acts of service I could rarely see myself appreciating, primarily when I'm really overwhelmed but I would not like it as a surprise because that disturbs the plans I've got in my head, but if I'm overwhelmed and they offer to do something difficult for me then I *could* appreciate that. Receiving gifts though is a no.

@MarinaPlaisant 4 года назад

I LOVE THIS CONTENT. yes, my love language absolutely changed being in a relationship, it's CRAZY. i really agree with this theory that what the other person kind of "lacks" in communicating is what you then crave the most? i don't know it's WEIRD

@hannahwitton 4 года назад

glad I'm not the only one!

@ciaraoc913 4 года назад

i decided to take the teen version considering i’m 18 and haven’t been in a relationship, and got 9 - Quality Time, 9 - Words of Affirmation, 7 - Physical Touch, 4 - Receiving Gifts, and 1 - Acts of Service! It’s interesting because after doing this quiz I think I /show/ love through physical touch and giving gifts, and amn’t great at words of affirmation, yet that’s MY #1 😳

@mouseluva 4 года назад

Somehow I had heard of the others but not acts of service and the second you said it I was like YES IT ME. Gonna go take the test to find out my other ones! The deal breakers for that love language are exactly what ended both of my relationships

@GSlice37 4 года назад

15:35 "the touching, the touching, t h e t o u c h i n g . . ."

@kathrynxjanex 4 года назад

Never done this before but this does make sense to me. Top is: quality time Low : receiving gifts. Which makes sense I hate when people buy me stuff or just buy me gifts that I don't know what they are going to be (gives me anxiety to act a certain way towards it) But spending time with people I love is my favourite thing to do. Quality time just being together is the most important thing for me

@stefflores 4 года назад

I prefer to be given love through words of affirmation and touch. I show love through quality time and touch.

@stefflores 4 года назад

Well it's been years since I took the quiz. I'm still in the same relationship. Now my #1 is physical touch and #2 is words of affirmation

@DarkDragonaire 4 года назад

I got: 12 Quality Time 8 Acts of Service 5 Receiving Gifts 4 Words of Affirmation 1 Physical Touch I used to be very Words of affirmation and Gifts but I started working full time and am fulfilled more in those areas by work

@emthegem2 4 года назад

Hey, that's the same order mine is. I'm like damn, I dont like a mushy touchy person. Is that bad!?

@nognog3333 4 года назад

I think the reason (that makes sense to me at least) why people tend to crave the love language their partner isn't fluent in is not only because it isn't common but also because if it happens anyway it clearly means your partner put in extra effort. For example, compliments from my boyfriend are extra meaningful not only because they match my love language in general, but because I know he has a hard time with compliments, so the only reason he does this is to make me feel happy and loved not because it's something he does easily, which makes it that much more meaningful

@admirbarucija2018 4 года назад

My love language I feel somewhat changes based on the circumstances, but I can’t wait to watch when I get home!! I hope you’re having a great day Hannah ❤️

@Mach1048 4 года назад

Here you go Hannah! I'm not massively surprised by this. I did the singles test if that makes a difference? 9 Quality Time 7 Acts of Service 7 Words of Affirmation 6 Physical Touch 1 Receiving Gifts

@amyhall2622 4 года назад

I did it twice - the singles one first for general "what do I value" and then the relationship one specifically for my partner and got completely different results!

@tinear4 4 года назад

The "Love Languages" books matter not just because you need to understand why you react emotionally to the things other people do, but more because you need to understand that other people may not feel loved by the things you do naturally. Children, in particular, tend to need to feel loved through all these ways, even each one has their own primary love language. When we know what makes a person feel loved, we can choose to do those things. We can also choose to avoid those things that make other people feel unloved. In other words, we feel what we feel -- but we can choose to communicate love intentionally in a variety of ways.

@aimeetrudgian4980 4 года назад

My love languages for giving and receiving are completely different. For receiving they are definitely quality time and acts of service. For giving its 100% gifts giving. For everyone, not just romantic relationships. Ie my husband, my mum, my kids, my friends

@margotdalin3321 4 года назад

I understand so much of what you are talking about. My partner looks similar to dan's character, except he is doing the act of service and saying "I love you" a lot BUT I'M MISSING the "I'm proud of you and of what you are doing". I'm always harassing him to tell me that he understand that my job is not easy and that I do it as well as possible (I'm a kindergarten teacher). I never thought I would be the kind of person asking for compliment (especially on my work) but I've became this person I think because I'm depraved of it. I also learn that forcing him to tell me the things or doing the things that I thought would make me happy is not because the meaning is lost and he look so lost and far away from what he knows... I'm accepting that I will get compliments on my work elsewhere and that what he does to help me/ with me everyday of our life together is already pretty good. :) :)

@WhedonianPotterhead 4 года назад

I'd never done it before but I took the singles version. I got 10 in Quality Time and 8 in Receiving Gifts and reading the description of them actually makes perfect sense to me. I also got a 0 in Physical Touch which I find very interesting as I choose to be unlabelled but when people don't accept that I say the closest would be Asexual so getting 0 for physical touch kinda goes really well with that

@GeorgiannaMiller5 Год назад

I believe we tend to give what we like to receive, and not recognize that our partners doing the same thing and maybe with a different love language

@georgiew5738 4 года назад

I’ve always been high on both quality time and acts of service, but I found that before my partner and I were living together, especially when we were both studying, quality time was definitely the most important to me. However, now that we’ve been living together for over a year, acts of service has become more important to the both of us (particularly the act of vacuuming). So yes, definitely a change as our relationship has developed!

@hannahwitton 4 года назад

acts of service is just very useful!

@ZombieInvader 4 года назад

I don't like touch from friends, but I do love a good cuddle with a partner (resting my head on someone's chest is A++). In all my relationships though, my main love language is acts of service. I want to do things to make my loved one's lives easier - even my gift giving tends to be based around what would make their lives easier (ex. subscribing my parents to a snow plowing service for Christmas; delivering a box of canned soup and flu supplies to sick friend who hasn't been able to grocery shop).

@lyadmilo 4 года назад

I am 100% Words of Affirmation and always will be. My partner's used to be Acts of Service but then I got better at it and it changed because it was being met so yes it can happen!

@ciara1045 4 года назад

Mines acts of service, then words + gifts! I don't think mine have changed yet but I can definitely see them changing in the future if what i receive changes. I also definitely think I show my love for other people through the ways that are more important to me. Louis and raya have a great video on love languages too!

@KaylaLords 4 года назад

I need to retake the quiz (it’s been a few years since the last time) but in following the questions, I think mine have changed too. Not because there’s something I’m not getting and need but because I received so much of my previous top love languages that I don’t feel like I’m missing it anymore. I’m positive Acts of Service was one of my top back in the day but in listening to the questions, it’s likely Quality Time or Receiving Gifts now. And I know i get a ton of quality time now but I love it so much.

@thecourageousorange 4 года назад

I never been big on gifts. I appreciate them if it happens. but I always value touch and quality time with my partner. Being in a long distance relationship it can be hard to fulfill those, but I think because when we actually meet up for a week or two every couple months we give each other overload of those 2 things.

@rebeccagleeson8404 4 года назад

First time I’ve taken the quiz and I got acts of service as my top one. I’m in my gap year and I’m the primary cook & cleaner in my house so I’m not too surprised at the results. Scored 8 for acts of service, 7 for physical touch, 6 for words of affirmation, 5 for quality time and 4 for receiving gifts

@Bexyboo88 4 года назад

Mine are: 8 Words of Affirmation 7 Quality Time 6 Acts of Service 5 Physical Touch 4 Receiving Gifts (Been single for years)

@Bexyboo88 4 года назад

And here are my Apology quiz results: 11 Expressing Regret 5 Accept Responsibility 2 Make Restitution 1 Genuinely Repent 1 Request Forgiveness

@hahalove47 4 года назад

I know for sure that I feel loved just hanging out in the same room with my husband. We might not have talked in 6 hours (I talk too much for it to last that long) but just sitting together is so nice. Quality Time is a big deal for me. I I defainly want to give him little gifts.

@mcollier4566 4 года назад

Comparing my single responses with my couple responses reveals similar contrasts: Single 10 Quality Time 8 Acts of Service 6 Words of Affirmation 4 Physical Touch 2 Receiving Gifts Couple 10 Quality Time 9 Physical Touch 6 Acts of Service 5 Words of Affirmation 0 Receiving Gifts I guess physical touch is only really important to me in a relationship, but I really miss it when I'm single. I'd also have thought I'd be Words of Affirmation more than Acts of Service! I definitely give Quality Time, Words of Affirmation and Acts of Service, in that order.

@locketgirl8500 4 года назад

I think the language I use to express love is different to the way I feel loved (I don't know if that is contradictory or not) like the way I express my love to others is through acts of service and gifts, and the way I feel loved by others through words of affirmation and physical touch. That might just be because I'm not good with initiating physical touch, so when others initiate it with me it feels meaningful.

@florenciaiturri2743 4 года назад

This test is phrased really interesting because meaningful, important, and preferred are not the same. If you get words of affirmation often then it is more meaningful to have acts of service because it shows extra effort. I wonder if the quiz phrased the question as which is more important, or which would you be more upset without if the results would be different. For example gifts are meaningful to me because they are something special but I could live happily without them, whereas each physical touch may feel less meaningful than the gift but more important all together because I would not be happy in a relationship without frequent cuddles.

@annieamie9771 4 года назад

I think it's easy to answer these questions and think "what am I missing from my current relationship" e.g. acts of service came up high because you feel you don't receive this as much. (I think it's good you acknowledged something's he does do though, I think it's easy to think partners could do more and forget what they are already doing for you right now). I think when answering the gift or saying I love you question we should think, just because someone says they love you everyday and this somehow dilutes the feeling it gives you each time its said, does not mean it's less important for you. If one day you spent a whole day without the words I love you uttered and the same the next day, and the day after that, the question is how would you feel? Would it torment you or would you not even realise it had not been said for that long?

@TheOneAndOnlyTorford 4 года назад

My top gifts to receive are quality time and acts of service but my top to give is gifts! I’ve been told I’m really good at gifts! Also the “I love you” “ Why?” conversation sounds exactly like my husband and I 😂

@bethbcrafts 4 года назад

Just wanted to thank you for being so candid. I had a lot of the same reactions as you (he doesn’t do things and I nag him to do them, hugs or notes?) and it really helped me feel more confident in my feelings.

@niamhkelly6859 4 года назад

I really enjoy love language, but I do think it changes as your priorities change. Like when I was a teenager/student I think touch and words of affirmation meant the world to me because it was exciting and new, where as acts of service didn't mean so much as I wasn't so busy. Now I work full time so while words/touch still means a lot, acts of service mean more because I'm busy and I know my partner is too

@zobothehobo 4 года назад

So Hannah, I was curious... I have known my love languages and their order for a long time but I had never taken the couple's version. So I took it and got results similar to my previous results, but not the same on the top one. Physical touch being my top was always so important to my identity... But my partner is NOT a touch person so it doesn't show up as much in my relationship... Therefore, for me it feels like quality time is so much more important in my relationship because that's the basis of how we exist. So I decided to see if my single results had changed. I took the single quiz focusing on other loved ones and friendships... I got a three way tie of physical touch, quality time, and words of affirmation. Years ago when I took the quiz, I had those three in that order back to back to back. I think for me, focusing on one relationship vs others does change my love language, because it's not just mine. It's ours.

@ceidigal 4 года назад

I think my ranking would naturally be quality time -> words of affirmation -> physical touch, but the fact that I've been on Erasmus (/majority of my relationship has been long-distance) means I now value physical touch a lot more and it has switched places with words of affirmation 🤔. So I definitely think circumstances can have a big effect

@pigfarts13 4 года назад

I absolutely think that your love language can change - not only depending on who you’re with but even within the same relationship! My partner and I used to basically live together so spending time together wasn’t super special to me since we did it so much - but doing the dishes etc (acts of service) made a huge difference and meant the most. I haven’t done the test since then, but we don’t live together at the moment and so now hearing you talk through the questions I realize that quality time ranks WAY higher for me now because we don’t have as much of it. So interesting!

@freshoutofcrabs 4 года назад

I have always been a physical touch speaker. When my partner and I started dating, he was very much not. I made it clear to him from the get go that that was how I felt love most and so he made the effort to speak my language, as it were. I am still very much into physical touch, but it has become less strong over time. He, on the other hand, has massively changed into someone who needs physical touch, like I do. I'm not sure if that's because he's become accustomed to it over the years or if it's because he's always been about physical touch but had always had it denied to him so he pretended not to like it til he felt he could let his guard down around me. That is something I have seen him do with other characteristics, so I think it was probably the latter. I don't really know about his bottom of the list language, but for me it's gifts. I have ADHD and anxiety/depression, which makes me struggle really hard with housework. Gifts are just more clutter that I have to clean up and I feel terrible if I have to give a gift well thought out gift away or donate it to a thrift shop/charity shop. I don't even like receiving holiday cards because it feels like either a burden to have to keep it or like I'm betraying the person who gave it to me by throwing it away.

@AshleyKress 4 года назад

My love language has definitely changed over the past year. It was highly Acts of Service and Quality Time. Since then, we've gotten married and are expecting a baby. My husband has gone above and beyond in the Acts of Service category to help me through the rough days of pregnancy. But, taking the quiz again today, Quality Time and Physical Touch were my top two...which seem much more in tune with my sensitive, pregnant body haha and needing to feel connected with him.

@xzonia1 4 года назад

I've never been in a relationship, but I'm guessing my order of importance would be: 1. Words of Affirmation 2. Quality Time 3. Physical Touch 4. Acts of Service 5. Receiving Gifts

@marsrigger2641 4 года назад

11 Acts of Service7 Quality Time 6 Words of Affirmation 4 Physical Touch 2 Receiving Gifts i guess i'm more "don't touch me and love me from afar"

@shaynannigans 4 года назад

My boyfriend and I have the same top love language of quality time and the same bottom one of giving gifts. And when we do buy gifts it is usually like a board game that we can spend quality time together playing or me planning our vacation.

@montagnarde1794 4 года назад

I do wonder about the giving/receiving aspect. For example, I'm pretty indifferent to receiving gifts but I love picking out gifts and seeing people's reactions to them (at least for people I know well, which given that we're talking about love languages here is probably a given).

@crawfishpi 2 года назад

As I got older I feel like I also morphed a little into an acts of service person. I deal with adhd and executive dysfunction, but also I find myself more having to take the role of household and daily life management and I have to delegate to my partner. When I was younger I probably had a less "practical" view in relationships and what I needed, and now that I have been married for 6 years, am an adult that gets stressed out and overwhelmed easily, and have experienced what a real domestic partnership is, PLEASE JUST DO THINGS WITHOUT ME HAVING TO ASK I JUST NEED TIME TO NOT HAVE MY BRAIN WHIRRING WITH EVERYTHING THAT NEEDS TO BE DONE ALL THE TIME CONSTANTLY