"What's the best worst line you've written?" (r/writing) 

“Nobody spoke. Especially not Sterling.” Sterling had just been found murdered roughly a paragraph earlier.

"he stopped to swallow the remainder of his pride. Unsurprisingly, it tasted like saliva " this was redundant on purpose but I still love how it sounds out of context

This is mine and it was for a poem for school: "I felt as if my heart was suddenly split two like Czechoslovakia back in 1992."

Once I wrote my OC saying "I won't buy your bullsh*t even though it's on discount." Their rival replied "That's not very cash money of you."

Once I wrote "The information hit her like a truck. She would know, because moments later she was hit by a truck. A real one, not a metaphorical one." and I've never forgiven myself

“…he breathed, breathily.” i wrote this line last week after a dreadfully long day. the absurdity of it prompted me to take a nap

"She had ginger hair, blue eyes, and sleek, black hair." I couldn't decide what color her hair was. It was ginger in the end though.

I wrote a scene where a female knight had been badly wounded by a dragon and found by a young monster boy. Noticing the knight's wounds, the young boy says, "Wow. That's a lot of damage."

"Selfish as a fish" is honestly fucking amazing.

I am stealing flesh confetti and no one can stop me

I’ll never forget that time I said a character was “woken up by sunlight shimmering through the window” and then about 5 seconds later stated that “it was still dark outside” in a fanfic.

One time when I was writing, I described a character's jawline as "crisp." That... That was a day

‘His plans always went exactly as he planned it, except when they didn’t.’ Feels like I could have phrased that way better than I did.

one time i was writing a draft for a book and i was really tired, so i’d forgotten how to say ‘furrowing his brow’ so i decided to write, ‘his eyebrows crunching’ i will never let myself forget this

I once wrote a comedic short story, and it is my masterpiece. This is my favorite part: “Happy new deer!” I called from outside the house. The door opened. “Don’t you mean new year?” I led the deer inside. “No I did not.”

“The chair looked like a bear if bears were blue and chair shaped” was the best thing I’ve ever said.

“Looking up she saw the man walking away meaning he probably hadn’t noticed her lack of death” is mine

“I am an unreasonable man,” he said plainly, brushing invisible dust off of his clean black suit. “We once argued about trees.” I wrote this at 2 AM one night and I still have no idea what I was thinking or what it means.

i once wrote "He could only be described as a piece of paper - He wasn't very colorful and people had received minor (but annoying) injuries from him" and i never hated myself more

"In my yard I have two trees. One is a date tree. The other also, is a date tree. I have two date trees. I hate dates. I was born into a household of date loving freaks. This is my story."

Once at school, when we were studying Fathers and Sons, we had a writing task. We had to write a diary from the perspective of the main character. We had two periods to do it. I absolutely suck at any sort of creative writing, so, for the whole time, the only thing that I managed to string together was "I, Bazarov, have arrived"

My best worst is “I’m not quite sure of who I am, but I can assure I did not break into your house.” Golden

wrote this at 3 in the morning: "dont do that, you'll turn Canadian." was my characters response to her friend who kept saying sorry over and over again.

One time, I wrote a scene for a horror comic I wanted to make, and when I read the script aloud, my mom called me out for writing this: "Police [1]: Umm... I think I heard something. Police [2]: Don't worry, you just must've heard something." After that, I was laughing for hours on end

Bag of Bags is a great insult actually.

I and my BFF challenged ourselves to read our cringey fanfiction that we wrote back in elementary. My best awful line was "Their family owned 10,000 hectares of land," because she laughed and asked if this is a president of a small country, not a CEO. (I'm a dumbass when it comes to math.) Her best line is when she didn't know how to describe a fight scene, so she resorted to "kick here, kick there, kick everywhere". 'Twas very poetic.

“Eleanor had been an eldest sister for nearly all of her life, save for a brief period of time at the beginning when she’d been merely an only daughter.” I didn’t feel like revising it so I just wrote the whole story in a Lemony Snicket tone

I wrote “friggity froggity Fuck! I’m late!” for my main characters dialogue. I was tired and let my anxiety and depression write for me. It’s a gem for me.

"Her emotions made it impossible to control her emotions." I posted this lovely disaster of a statement. I was so tired but I think I had meant to say "Her emotions made it impossible to control her powers."

My personal best-worsts that I dug out of a document from three years ago “I’ve got a good feeling about this and that can’t be good” “Forget forgetting and get to getting” “Why do you feel so proud when you manage to remember what day of the week it is”

Everytime I feel bad about my writing, I remember my favorite line from the entire Twilight series. " Aro started to laugh, "ha ha ha," he chuckled. " -Actual sentence written by Stephanie Meyer in New Moon.

“He stripped like one of those straight boys debone fish” and “a plastic bag that would’ve made Katy Perry jealous” and these two still make me giggle, though they are nothing compared to Mx Tupper Ware tbh

"his brain had space for nothing but c o o k i e, he was starting to think it was actually turning into one." And "the kitchen looked a lot like the Great British Bake Off itself had projectile vomited all over it." Two amazingly terrible lines from the same chapter.

When I was in middle school I vividly remember my mom-who was reviewing my essay for creative writing- saying “There was an oddly normal sized window, it must have been put there by the people who built it!” Describing the inside of a dragon’s tower. I still laugh at it to this day

"The sword was a very old family heirloom, just like his grandfather"

I once wrote a mermaid transform scene when I was like 12, and ended up describing legs this really horrific way (It’s translated from my first language, but this is very much still how it sounded in Swedish). And people wonder why I never show anyone my WIPs. “The orange scales that covered her whole fin slowly started to pull themselves into her fin and left a light skinned area of skin behind under. Her fin split itself into two, bony limbs that stretched themselves long over the cave’s rifled ground with each ending in a movable stump.” _Stumps._ I guess she canonically doesn’t have toes.

I was writing this fic mainly as crack, but this line of dialogue- "Huh. A secret elevator that goes to some secret base, probably. Cool. Very cool. Very secret."

I mainly write sacrilege and dark comedy, so irony is kind of my thing, and I was losing it this entire video. All of these have a place in the right genre. I have laughed to tears reading abominations far worse than these and have deliberately written worse myself. It's fucking brilliant. I will die on this mountain

“..and in that moment, much like a corpse, he couldn’t breathe.” Had me rolling

Two teenage girls in a superhero story I’m workshopping: Girl one: (raising an eye brow and smirking) what, you think I’ve never pulled a bullet out of someone before? Girl two, absolutely horrified: THAT WAS MY ASSUMPTION, YEAH Edit: in hindsight, what makes this even better is that it’s Girl 2 who’s the superhero😂

I am a writer, yes, but my most cursed lines are stuff I have ACTUALLY SAID, so, I give you, "You can't tell anyone your middle name or it won't come true." "The real salad dressing is the friends we made along the way." "Beautiful but fatal, like a chaos hippie"

I don't know if it's the best or the worst thing I've ever written, but "And either way, he wasn't going to disembowel himself. He was sure he didn't have the, well, he didn't have the guts" is certainly...up there. (I don't have any context for this, it just popped up in my brain randomly).

“Who do you think I am? Of course I don’t pre-record my polite coughs, they’re procedurally generated.” this character is a cyborg who has no respiratory system

"But because she was the spinal equivalent of a chocolate eclair, she said yes, of course." I deserve to be put down for this

"the calm composure of a corpse" is actually really effective, depending on the context

I stopped writing a while ago because it made me cringe so hard looking back at my first drafts, but knowing now that this is normal, maybe I'll try again. This was HILARIOUS btw. Edit: tysm for the encouragement you guys!! It's been nearly a year since I made this comment, but I got back into writing again. Rewriting lore and making a new draft!

I am aware that nobodies first draft is perfect, but I uncontrollably cringe when I think about some of the overly descriptive things that I’ve written while trying to be serious💀.

One time I described a hug as if I were writing an essay. “Jake took his arms, wrapped them around Hawke, and began to squeeze. This action is commonly referred to as a hug.” Edit: THE ORIGINAL EXCERPT IS ACTUALLY WAY FUNNIER BECAUSE IT'S ACTUALLY MORE VERBOSE AND SELF AWARE "Jake took his arms, wrapped them around Hawke's body, and proceeded to pull his arms inward, which ended up squeezing Hawke a slight bit. This action could easily be described as a hug."

my best, which got through two beta readers, was: "I texted him with my phone." no you texted him with your microwave

" Paper mache was stronger than his will to live," My best 3AM line tbh. The others are more like the lyrics of Spongebob theme song written like Old English.

"And just like that, all attraction I felt towards him flew out the window and was eaten by a seagull"

“She had *already* returned to bed *already* and was *already* sound asleep.” I then decided it was time for me to go to bed, too.

“But it was the only thing resembling a real house, so he affectionately called it his window.”

A lot of these are just gold, I would love to see them used unironically

Honestly depending on the rest of narration style some of these could really work. Like the one overdramatically calling a receptionist an unthanked warrior. And I was feeling anxiety with the person late to school so that worked lol. Oh and the calm composure of a corpse one could certainly work amazingly

I was re-reading an old story of mine the other day and came across the beautiful line; 'her voice was like silk, but deadly silk' I still haven't forgiven past me.

I found this gem like a week ago in the depths of my abandoned Word documents. "He was confused, and asked the gods why they weren't acknowledging the death of the fire elves. The gods were confused and sent him away, thinking he was just overworked and confused." I have a bad habit of writing at night. Edit: Oh, I also once described a character's voice as "like a British accent but without the accent". Edit #2: Just remembered that once I forgot the word "shot" while writing and instead wrote that some guy died by getting hit in the head with a gun. Not even by a bullet, just had an unloaded gun thrown at him like a frisbee. I thought it was funny so I kept it in.

Here is my best worst: "After hearing

“Then he screamed, fell over, and made a desperate attempt to skitter away from himself-which failed miserably, as that is not possible.” I wrote this yesterday. Personally, I still think that’s a reasonable reaction to finding out your hair is glowing like you’re Rapunzel, especially when you are a 14-year-old boy and definitely not Rapunzel.

Some of these lines wouldn't actually be so bad in a comedy context. Redundancy can work as a form of humor when done properly and trashy majesty is honestly pretty brilliant.

I wrote a fantasy story when I was 12 where I came up with 3 different names for the same location. This is because I would get to a certain point, think “have I actually mentioned or named this town yet?” and come up with the entirely incorrect answer of no, I hadn’t named it at all. I later was diagnosed with inattentive-type ADHD which I think explains a lot

“Killed to death” will always be my favourite. I can imagine myself writing that

“It’s like a reward for not dying in the desert.” -One of my characters while eating a meal I wrote this at around 9pm

Not in a fanfic, but recently I wrote “The world’s changing faster than a chicken nugget in a deep frier.”

“But the tree remained immobile.” I honestly don’t remember how this sentence came to be, but now I purposely incorporate it into every new story I write 😀

"I can't believe I have tapeworms." It was a placeholder

Best one I ever wrote was: "His fingers were burnt red, gone alllll nice and toasty." Evidently, I was a little sleep-deprived whilst writing XD

“I hate you as much as I hate my life, maybe a bit more”

i once wrote “how the turn tables” in a fanfic and it took be about a week to realize that was not how the saying is supposed to go

"The arena was full of loud shouting, because people were yelling." Oh my goodness 😭

"He pulled on his bulletproof clothes that were black and bulletproof"

I once wrote- 'He felt as disgusting as a pair of wet socks." Lmfao. What was i thinking.

It's moments like these I bust out "He started to feel like a preheated microwave"

i once wrote the line "flowering the waters", sent it to my friend, and they then proceeded to see nothing wrong with it at first it was very late at night in our defense

Not mine but a friend wrote "She pressed her ears against the glass" Both her ears, imagine it please. We laughed, we wept, I couldn't breathe and I will never let her forget.

My best / worst line I’ve ever written: “I’m made up of screws, bolts, and very unwilling donors!” If anyone wants the context let me know

Update: Found a funny line in my late-night literature but I’m keeping it 👍 “But he was so, so wrong. So wrong that he could’ve made a war criminal look right, god damn it.”

"It took Miles a few moments to realise, but it really was the paper talking. And even worse, he recognised the voice. And it seemed the paper recognised him too." This is from a draft of a crack fic that I wrote at like 3 am while being in a car and really tired, and I will probably never finish it

Once i was writing late at night, sleep deprived, and i woke up the next day to *this* “The baby frowned like a baby who was frowning.”

a friend of mine once wrote in an essay “it’s uniqueness made it unique”. not as funny as some other things here, but thought i’d share.

So I wrote an entire scene (I'm talking a good several hundred words) and it got deleted. I loved this scene because there was a really sweet bonding moment and one of the characters was taking his rage towards an impossibly hopeless and scary situation out on a small video game character and giving it a proper scolding. Like, it was sweet, funny, and cathartic after a massive loss. I wrote this at 3am and thought "Wow! I knew I did well writing late, but this is really solid! Who needs sleep anyway?" So, why was it deleted then? Did I forget that I made it a major plot point that the evil goonies could track basically any electronics and the fact that they were playing a mobile game would completely reveal their location? No actually. I wanted that to happen and I knew these characters didn't know better. No, my issue was more stupid than that. My issue was that there were characters who DID know about the tracking problem and were sitting a stone's throw away. Yup. I forgot my mentor characters had ears, could hear the entire thing, and would have certainly stopped the entire thing from happening. I spent HOURS on that scene and now I have a habit of doing a periodic headcount of all my characters when writing. Lol

I read a really bad rough draft of a story I wrote in 6th grade. One line said "she was skinnier that a starved homeless cat, probably cause she was starved and homeless. " it was from the perspective of a rude girl. She really insulted this girl so much. It was beautiful

I have written many an interesting line, but none have ever stuck with me like the time I tried describing my protagonist's conflicted feelings over a McGuffin: "A wiseman would've put it back, but I was neither wise nor a man."

"She ran her fingers through her hair with her hair in her fingers with her fingers" I don't know what possessed me that night.

my favorite line ive written is 'she stood aside and watched the drama unfold like a low budget sitcom'

I’m writing a second book right now. I was pretty proud of describing a microwaved cup of coffee “ an unsavory cup of disappointment “ Only, coffee tastes like coffee no matter how you cook it. So there’s that. So I added that he used powdered creamer and dropped his cup onto the floor because I’m still proud of that line.

I was reading over an essay I had to write, and stumbled upon "This advantage gave them a huge advantage,"

Mine: "I felt the bubbly nervousness in the stomach one feels at the top of a rollercoaster right before the big drop" Because using 21 words is way better than just saying "My stomach fluttered" or something

so here's mine, this was a line i wrote while running off of three hours of sleep and after a long day of school “Well I’m glad you two had fun, I’d better get back to beating Kylear at this game before he starts pondering his own existence.” Vhesilla said, going back to her spot on the couch. She set down a single card, causing Kylear to cry out in frustration. She was guessing that the lesser demon had lost again.

6:05 The calm composure of a corpse? That actually has a nice ring to it. Good alliteration.

This line always makes my sister laugh: "His kind brown eyes melted into hers like chocolate chips into a freshly-baked cookie." Not the worst line I've written; I've got plenty of stuff from when I was a teenager I could dig through if I had the patience. But I wrote THAT sucker in 2020, and it is the first line that comes to my head when I see something like "best worst line you've written".

Also, tried to begin a time-travel fic with this punchline right here : "The hero's journey began with a single step, followed by a poorly timed sneeze that sent him tumbling down the stairs to meet destiny."

One of my best-worst lines (which I intend to keep in the finished product) goes thusly: "Well, twenty-four shots of espresso a day keep the nightmares away so we pick our battles." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Edit: Almost forgot this gem of an exchange. “I have a bit of a question.” they started. “Go ahead.” Ace prompted with a slight nod. “How would you feel if I said, theoretically, I’ve currently got a friend staying here in the mansion?” they asked. The hero considered for a moment. “Depends on the circumstance. Why would this theoretical friend be here in the first place?” they asked. Charlie considered how to word it. “Say, theoretically, the hypothetical friend recently escaped from a violently abusive partner and he needed a place to stay. What of that, hypothetically speaking?” they continued. “I’d say that’s fair.” Ace said with a slight nod. They took a deep breath. “Okay, and what if, hypothetically in theory, this theoretical friend just so happened to be the villain who shot you last year?” they asked quickly. The hero turned to face them slowly. “Charlie, is there something you’re not telling me?” they asked. Charlie glanced away, and began fiddling with their scarf. “...Hypothetically.” Hypothetically and Theoretically were used so much- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Edit II: Just found this while editing an older draft of mine and: "No, this is perfect," he breathed breathlessly. Needless to say romance is not my forte.

my own contribution: "the holy water is holy. like a bagel" "what's a bagel"

Something about this is making me feel like I take my writing too seriously. The best I have to offer is the specific descriptor of "mid-range cologne" (I didn't feel like the character was enough of a wreck to wear cheap cologne, yet he certainly couldn't afford anything expensive, hence:) Edit: maybe "I glare nonchalantly" counts??? XD (not nessesarily a mistake, it very much fits the tone I'm going for)

It was the dude with three hands that got me. I had to rewind and catch it again.

i have an ugly amount of drafts for this one project and the first one gets progressively worse

Some of these could be good lines if used by the right character in the right situation though. Mostly by a comic relief sort of character, but still

basically anything weve ever written fits into this but sometimes we make a typo & accidentally keep going w the typo. for example, the sentence we were trying to write was "he immediately shot down the idea" but we accidentally wrote shit instead of shot & kept going w it, so the sentence came out as "he immediately shit his pants"

The “bag full of bags” one is brilliant 👌🏻