What's Wrong with Calanthe's Armour? 

Five Internet Points for correctly identifying this video's Random Cameo by using an appropriate catchphrase :D

“Breathing is a unisex thing” had me rolling in laughter. It’s the little mundane things that get you…

I've never seen the show, but the first thing that stands out to me as an illustrator is the fact that her armour is basically the same colour as her skin. Even the leather bits blend right in. The whole things just looks sepia-tone and archaic compared to the more vibrant and interesting colours around here. Also the fact that the shoulder piece is more off-silver draws the eye a bit too much, considering it's such an unflattering piece compared to the chestplate.

6:22 Let's be honest. Audiences have been trained to think *all* armor is useless. When was the last time you've seen armor actually protect it's wearer from an attack in film? Arrows just go right through the stuff!

Breathing is a unisex thing is my new favourite retort when talking about armour

6:28 "Don't get me started" I kind of want to hear about this now, though...

I'm going to guess that it's even simpler than all this. That there was a mistake or an accident with the armor and they ended up using the backplate because the frontplate they made didn't work. But that's mostly because I keep thinking of how Inara's ballgown in Firefly was the costume designer's wedding dress on backwards, so...

I appreciate how you address budget constraints and the fact that the analysis is somewhat unnecessary, but it’s also fun and interesting!

other problems with metal armour compared to plastic: Falling off a horse in metal armour is really bad, if metal armour takes a dent (from a fall or blow) it creates a continuity error in the next take (plastic armour doesn't dent in the same way).

I have the feeling with Calanthe's armor is that the costume designer made a proper chest plate and the director said, "No that looks too effeminate for her butch-esque design". I imagine they made an on-the-fly adaptation to put it on backwards to make her feminine curvature go away.

Tolkien was pretty specific about mail being the state of the art in Middle Earth. On one of the Extended Edition DVDs they go into how intensive their process was for making what shows up on screen. IIRC there were a bunch of craftspeople at WETA whose whole job was to make chainmail all day long which brings up a really good reason why plate is preferred for film: its time intensive to make unless you want to do the old school way which is basically a spray painted sweater (Game of Thrones did this ALOT).

Also, tabards covering not-actually-armor is a far more economic and practical solution. You can easily identify who is who, just give the illusion of heavy armor instead of actually putting the bulk of the cast in fake heavy armor, and cover up difficult elements of costume design while saving the budget for nice looking gear for a handful of characters.

When she's walking/standing in the gold armor (which I thought was bronze), she's leaning her upper body back slightly. Almost how someone with a large belly or advanced pregnancy would. Her head isn't in line with her pelvis. On the horse, in the silver colored armor, she's very upright, with good posture. It gives the yellow colored armor more of an uncanny valley feeling IMO. Her arms in both sets looking like slightly undersized sticks doesn't help either.

Thank you for pointing this stuff out. As a writer, this is helpful to know. That being said, I straight-up laughed when I saw a book about a blade master and the girl on the cover was wearing a crop top with a deep v-neck and it looked armor-y. All I could think was you saying "Yes! Stab me here!"

It really strikes me as just classic overcorrection. They want her to basically be a sharp contrast with Yennefer, while at the same time they should both come across as badasses. So they put her in armour that's excessively flat to avoid being accused of putting her in boobplate, and in so doing made it quite hard for Jodhi May to move in. As modern female veterans will tell you, there's a difference between boobplate and making adjustments to fit.

"She wouldn't have a full uniform yet, not until someone had taken a, well, let's face it, a breastplate along to old Remitt the armourer and told him to beat it out really well here and here." - Men at Arms, by Terry Pratchett

In Italy we still have cuirassiers!! They’re called corazzieri and are the president’s guards. They still have a sort of armour look for formal events, and also have formal clothes for everyday work. Either version still features the very cool looking helmet with the long, horse-like tail at the back!

Well, I guess it IS LARP armour. Isn't a fantasy TV show basically professional live action role playing?

I wonder if they were trying to emphasize her aggressive, almost teen boy personality while showing her as frail, but still fighting in the ranks

Note, though that English Civil War armour could also look weird, with surprisingly modern-sports-helmet styling to some of the helmets, and the buckskin jackets under breastplates. Look at Royal Armouries' _Armor of King James II,_ for example.

For me it's always been the spaulders that made me do an "Eh??" at Calanthe's armour. They look like they don't match the breast-plate, as if they're from a different armour set. Other than that, it worked well enough. I'm not an expert on this subject so aside from the "thank God it's not a boob-plate design", I was happy to just roll with it.

As someone who's been in the cosplay scene, I've people make foam look metallic with just paint effects. Of course that does take time but you'd think they'd take the time for one of the important characters.

6:15 Ok but I would totally watch a video about how popular media has misinformed people about the uses of armor.

Of all franchises, you'd hope that Lord of the rings had trained people to not think mail is useless. Frodo survives a cave troll smashing him thanks to his mail shirt and its pretty memorable.... But I guess they figured it was just because magic mythril metal. 🤔

It's very common for movies to rent costumes. It's been a long time since I watched that scene, but do we ever see the back, no front, no... the other side of that armor? That funny walk might have been to hide the other side. What if there's something about this rented armor that required them to not show the front so they swapped it and hoped no one would notice? Too recognizable as from a different show? Damaged? Actual boob armor? Honestly, since they didn't expect this show to blow up like it did, I'm betting this was in fact a "eep gotta make do!" moment.

Love how you geek out on this stuff both from a practical and from a theatrical standpoint. Having both perspectives makes for twice the learning and entertainment! And, of course, it brings better understanding & sympathy for the challenges that come with getting these things onto film, which is its own sort of valuable education.

Today I learned that the little shoulder pads I had on one of the characters in my graphic novel are called spaulders. Your videos always educate as well as entertain (as well as make me either feel better about my armor designs or know where I should make improvements in them)

Both (informative & entertaining) - thank you! “Breathing is a unisex thing” has got to become a thing for your merch!

I really disliked the costume design for the Witcher especially in the first season. Not just the armour but the dresses and court costumes as well, I thought that in a show which is notoriously jumpy in time and place the costuming could have been an excellent clue. Each kingdom should really have a unique style (the Skellegers being indistinguishable from the Cintrians for example really bugged me) which would have clarified where we were and those styles should have slightly changed depending on when we were. Only Nilfgaard really looked different, though not necessarily in a good way. And don't get me started on some of Yen's dresses in the first season. The game has its own problems with costume design (why Ves why!) but I honestly thought it was leaps and bounds better especially for the non-main characters though it does have the benefit of animation.

That royal guard's armour looks really good, imo. It's the perfect amount of form and function, with layering in detail and plating pieces that conjures a mixed temporal sense of medieval era and Spaniard conquistador era styles. Maybe not practical, but really good for a fantasy setting.

It looks to me like the segmentation is purely decorative 'folds' on a single-piece backplate. Also, kind of wondering if some costume designer with a very poor understanding of history or how combat armour works *intentionally* made it hard to move in, for 'authenticity' (because a lot of people do seem to have that exact misunderstanding about medieval European armour).

2 thoughts that stick out, first, her spaulders are giving me more 1980s shoulder pads that fantasy armor. Second, in that brief clip of her in the dress you had, she looked more physically intimidating in that, than in her armor. I think it’s at least partly the broadening of her upper body with the sleeves, but idk.

One of my favorite books has a bad guy be defeated because he covered his v practical armor in gold, which made it a liiitle bit heavier and made him a liiitle bit slower than his evenly matched but normally armored former bff, and since his whole thing was arrogance it was beautifully character relevant

Looks as if they put on the pauldrons of the silver armour with the part that should be towards the neck pointing down (towards the elbow). So they did not only use a back plate for a chest plate, but also got that incorrect.

12:33 SIGH! Armour was DESIGNED to move in it. The more accurate the style, the better the mobility. When you lay your life on the line, you do not want to lose it because your armour didn't allow you to move. Armour protects from pointy things stabbing you, it also gives some protection from blunt force trauma. BUT! NO armour is perfect.Hit it enough times with enough force, it will deform and stop protecting you. This was known and taken into account. People in armour were able to dodge blows coming at them. Also at ~7:28, these are quiches, not tassets. Tassets are there to protect the groin , not the thighs, that's what quiches are for. Armour , was never designed to be quick to wear. However, if its fitted correctly..its like its not there at all. You can go all day long wearing armour, doing whatever . As long as you hydrate.. you're ok! You take it off at the end of the day, have a nice relaxing bath.. you 'll be tired, i'm not going to lie, but you wont be dead on your feet, nor suffering sprained muscles and joints. Insist on personally fitted armour, historically accurate personally fitted armour. Not because it just looks better, it will save you a host of problems down the line. Do not take my word on it. Go talk to people doing historical re-enactment. Not LARP , that's a different thing. Historical re-enactors. Like i said it will save you a whole host of problems, both during filming and after.

I would actually love to hear you tackle pop culture misconceptions about mail, so, by all means, get started!

I think there is another balance point you kind of sloughed off and that is time on screen. Calanthe spent most of her time on screen not in the armour. There was her entrance scene at the banquet and a few scenes of her battle with the Nilfys. Even her death scenes she wasn't in armour. I can forgive them for less than good choices for a costume that has maybe 2 minutes of screen time in the entire show.

I always just assumed it was done on purpose to make her alien... But the more i think about it... Based on the back plate thread... Maybe the armor was made to the wrong size and they could not use the front plate so they took the back plate and just frankestined it.. Who knows.

The saddest thing is the costumes in the game are super iconic and very cool looking - also have a much more colourful medieval vibe and excellent hats

them: what are your hobbies me: watching videos of a lady talking about fake armor on youtube... i mean reading

I said it last time I'll say it this time, Calanthe's armour looks like it's one soldid piece over the torso and the back is too heavy so its ridden up. I hadn't even noticed how odd the belt placement looks until this video but it just adds to my feeling on the matter

In all honesty "Real people have to wear this for 14 hours a day, yes even on their lunch breaks" is a real concern that more nerds need to take into consideration when needlessly nitpicking at "historical accuracy" in TV shows. Give the poor actors a break, they've got it hard enough!

I thought the "lack of cohesiveness" in Witcher culture, dress, architecture was because everybody had been pulled through gates from different worlds and it was a hodge podge sorting itself out.

I am bothered by the "seam" down the middle of her chest, like, a sword would definitely catch on that. Also, between scenes she looses her neck protection.

I've read the books, and Book Calanthe would wipe the floor with Show Calanthe, purely on the practicality of armor. In the books she's known as a terrifying adversary in battle and is willing to fight an armored man bare handed if need be. There's a reason her symbol is the lion. Her armor would be heavy in the chest and shoulders, and probably not coated in any decoration or gold, she only wears dresses or decoration when she needs to impress others at the banquet for her daughter. Calanthe is a warrior first and a queen second, she'd never have such ill-fitting outfits and ESPECIALLY not her armor.

This just looks like a critique of fantasy armor. Count me in. *grabs notebook*

OK, so first, for a fight where armor actually WORKS, check out Peter v Miraz, in The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian. Attacks are clearly targeted *around* the armor, right up until Peter loses his helm (ie, they know they can't cut through it). At that point, basically all of Miraz's attacks go at Peter's head, and there's a shot where he's on his back and throws up his vambraces to take a blow aimed at his face. Sword skitters right off the armor. Next, on the subject of Calanthe's harness: the gold armor is materially different from the silver. UNLIKE the silver set, the golden set is *clearly* a costume piece, insofar as it's not properly constructed. The faulds of the breastplate are flatly non-functional. Those sort of faulds absolutely depend on the existence of sliding rivets. But a sliding rivet has to have a slot in which to slide, and this harness *doesn't have any*. You'd be able to see them somewhere under her arms, and there's nothing in any frame or gif of the armor I can locate. It's only the lowest lame which ever articulates, and it does so purely on simple rotational pins on the sides. I would posit that this harness was constructed in a hurry due to the large number of reshoots for the Witcher Season 1, and I'd further posit that it wasn't originally intended to be in the show at all, but was added and they used the *silver* harness as a base point of reference, and were told "make it gold" to match the color palette of these shots. It may even be a piece *cast* from a mold of the silver harness, and while the lames might have been cut apart to give visual depth to the armor, they were probably just glued or pinned back in place (save for the lowest lame, which must articulate for her to do any movement aside from just walking). Finally, as a follow-up point to some of your arguments - and in particular why they're using plate in LOTR:RoP - there is the problem in film of character identification. That is, it's not just the silhouette which is critical, but also the audience's ability to instantly pick up whom is who during an action shot which may only last a half-second or less. While there's barely any plate armor at all in the LOTR books (only a passing reference to Imrahil's vambraces, fogged by the wounded Eowyn's breath to ascertain if she's alive), the problem with putting everyone in "historically" correct armor is that everybody basically looks the same, particularly during quick cuts. While it's POSSIBLE to shoot action in a way that gets around this, it's honestly way, WAY, easier to arm the various factions in a battle scene in visually distinct armor. Witcher does it with both silhouette and color. LOTR does so via material; you can tell at a glance who's Gondorian, Rohirrim, Uruk-hai, and so forth. Since it's so much more freeing for the directors to put people in anything which isn't just "mail, it's not surprising that basically nobody does actually *accurate* 9-10th century mail harness. It's also unsurprising that as a focus character, Calanthe was stuffed into a harness (even the slightly better silver one) which first and foremost gives her a totally unique silhouette. She is always 100% identifiable, regardless of the length or direction of the shot. Incidentally, if you're looking to put together an internet round table for LOTR armor someday, since I'm SURE there'll be plenty to pontificated over, I'm SAFD (A/AC since 2003), teach HEMA (bloß and harnishfechten), used to partake in armored horseback stupidity, and I was the dramaturg on the LOTR stage plays, which were actually a thing: www.theonering.net/torwp/2001/08/29/18142-lotr-play-in-cincinnati/

My headcannon on the trashy nilfguard armor in S1 is that it's a manufactured cloth covering that looks the same over plate or a gambeson. So having your entire force equipped in it messes up enemy scouting. Is it a platoon of auxiliary? Or a seasoned band of veterans? Or is this a field of scarecrows in armor? No way to tell without getting closer.

Calanthe's armor reminds me of the plastic toy armor I had as a kid that you could buy in any toy store that was flat, rigid, uncomfortable, and ill fitting. I can't recall the amount of times I got annoyed by the armor constantly moving around when moving my arms, hitting my lower jaw when bending over, and plainly restricting my movement. When my tolerance for the damned armor had ran out I simply ditched for a sword and shield style which instantly increased my enjoyment of those toys roughly by 1 million percent.

Kind of curious, has there ever been an suit of armor that if it was more realistic / functional that it would legitimately affect the plot?

I think the "gold" armor is actually just her armor in a different, warmer lighting context. The design is identical otherwise.

Always good to have a new video from you Jill. And I love your tier list.

Your videos are always fun and informative. Keep on keeping on.

I really enjoy these videos where you look at movie armour and hope to see more of them. In between your armour making and stage fighting videos.

Matt just popped in at the beginning of your video! You just never know where that guy is going to pop in! Love the video.

Hey just wanted to say watching your armor videos taught me a lot about armor! I recently had to somewhat loosely translate a real, human armor set to fantasy pegasus armor and the client loved the result! Thank you for your wonderful informative content

I have no idea why this appeared in my recommendations, but this turned out to be one of the most fascinating videos I've ever watched. That's an instant sub, cannot wait to start checking out the rest of the channel.

Love Calanthe, love your videos, and I looove learning about armor!

Of course Henry VIII had gold plated armor.

This video was both interesting and informative...and it was done quite nicely, as are all of your videos. I do not watch The Witcher yet still needed to hear your opinion of her armor. You are right, it sucks in a multitude of ways. Cheers!

I've been playing blade and sorcery(a vr swordfighting game) and for the first time I realized how pointless armor is if you don't have a helmet

Thank you Jill, entertaining and informative as always!

Haha. You reacted to "CONTEXT" like Dug from "UP" getting distracted by "SQUIRREL!" And the cameo was SUPER easy to identify. Bernadette Banner. She was the girl in the green dress whispering in the ear of Calanthe. Also, EDIT: I disagree with the back of the amour theory because nobody decorates the back of the armour. Nary a relief in sight on the backs of armours.

7:00 Parry this you filthy casual!

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for making this video. I hope that it becomes a bit of a quick reference for costumers wanting to make sure to tweak their plate armor into sensibility.

11:00 IIRC gold and cyan are Cyntra's colors, and also Calanthe is referred to as "The Lioness", so yeah, it would absolutely makes sense for her to have golden armor, at least for the book Calanthe.

Thank you Jill, the answers are yes and yes, so educationally entertaining and entertainingly educational

Re: the gold armour. I always thought it was because she was ‘the lioness’ - a golden animal

the Random CONTEXT from matt made me jump lol. love him and you.

7:21 That noise just made my day

Great video! Commenting for the 0s and 1s.

I really enjoy your videos, so thank you very much for making them when I saw that armour. Well I know nothing about it. I did think it was odd and then I thought it’s almost like she’s wearing it instead of a normal tunic. She was raised as a warrior queen, so wild that armour is an absolutely practical. It gives the impression if that makes any sense.

Thanks for covering this. When I watched the show that armor always bothered me and didn’t know why it didn’t look right.

Excellent scholarship and humorous! Nice dynamic to, thanks! This is understating the chance of phobic both in production and anthropology. All in all, ENCORE-next video you might try more imagination on your part?

10:19 is a huge quibble I have with Game of Thrones, specifically Tywin and Jaime Lannister. They are the richest and most powerful lord in Westeros and his son respectively, they should have access to full plate armor, like what Brienne of Tarth wears before S4, that is gilded head to toe like that Henry VIII suit at 10:47. Instead they have to make do with beaten leather breastplates, no mail and only pauldrons and gauntlets like a common Lannister grunt with a few extra steps. Honestly the only mark of distinction Tywin has is the brilliant red cloak he wears in S2.

I see what you mean about the chest armor not being too flat, so a hit's kinetic energy doesn't shoot right into your vital organs. I suddenly remembered how one of the Vikings in "The 13th Warrior" died after a club caught him squarely in the chest. The strike didn't penetrate his armor, but he's soon spitting up blood.

One of the underlying principles of film, TV, and stage armor is *remember it's a costume*. If it looks cool, it works :-) (Think of Queen Amidala's bizarre ceremonial garb and hair style.)

Uther's armor from "Excalibur", and the point that if they can do it well back then, they should be able to do it well today

Having your analyses not just historical accurately but also that someone has to using the armor for severe hours and also act and also to fight and that the mere act of put the armor is time consumer and that there is a budget in the show, it's very interesting, because few people remember this or has the background to know how it really is, and are all little details that have an affect in the end.

I would also imagine that using a backplate as a breastplate would be remarkably uncomfortable, because the central vertical ridge on a backplate is concave as opposed to the convex ridge on a breastplate.

You said “thurah “. (Thorough)! Gawd I love that pronunciation! 😍 “You should see my doctor. He’s thorough!”-from The Big Lebowski!

oh cool, a new uncanny valley

Hey, the joins in the gambeson is one of best things in the costume. Until quite late in middle ages, sleeves were joined like this to the clothes.

The gold armor on a battlefield would be useful. It identifies the commander very easily.

I kind of want another video where you DO get yourself started on mail!

Thanks for a great video.

And a lot of Larpers actually wear honest to god bloody metal armour… and they‘re serious about their armour too. And let me tell you, when you‘re in naught but a light dress and are chased across a field for about half a kilometer by a 6ft something guy built like a brick sh****house in Full plate you get a whole new appreciation for it

it was a good video, have a like. one thing that caught me just at the end: your text blurb in the top right about the helmet is covered by the other-video cards. not sure if u can shuffle that top one to the left. (edit) or both down, both down would probably be better.

On snow white's armor, I instantly connected it with jousting armour. One arm is seemingly overdone whilst the other isn't. Mind you I have not seen the film, but I'd bet they modeled it thusly

I really hope you look at the armor from the game. Especifically the Witcher Gear from each school. They have various characteristics to match their styles. I.e: The School of the Cat is about assassins so their gear is mostly leather and pretty light favouring mobility. The School of the Bear is about, well... Skellige. So their gear is heavy and makes you look like an old monster killing veteran.

As someone with disproportionately skinny arms I feel called out by your comment on the boxy torso.

To me, the silver looked more like armor made for Calanthe, and the gold looked more like it was inherited. As if the gold was sort of making do with what was on hand.

6:26 I would absolutely love to get you started

"Breathing is a unisex thing" - Jill Bearup, 2022

Okay so I’ve seen you go over a ton of armor and some ‘not really armor’ … but is there a person you could collaborate with to design a suit of armor for your self? One that checks all of the boxes?

I had to bite down so hard on a cackle of laughter when “Captain Context” burst out of the screen 🤣

Wait, no! I REALLY want you to get started on the pros of mail armor, please!!

I liked it for her character... the flat plate made her perpetually look like she was breathing in her shoulders rather than expanding her diaphragm... angry, nervous or defensive breathing. A looming bearing with bated breath. Given everyone else felt like they were uncomfortably and nervously mirroring her it worked for me. Especially giving the ridiculous freedom she had for her arms compared with her chest/breathing. Can happily shake a fist in anger... but can't breath freely. It fits her.

The "oops I assembled it backward" would not be a first in costuming. Anara in Firefly, the duel episode, part of her dress was sewn on backward and they managed to run with it for time sake.

I don't know to much about this stuff but I do know what my eyes see. I have seen cosplayers make some dang fine looking armor out of various types of foam. I saw one set at a con and it wasn't until the guy wearing it did a back flip that I realized it wasn't actually metal. Why not use those materials for non combat scenes then use the metal for a fully kitted out set for battle scenes? Instead of 3 set of mediocre trash, have two passable low budget, hyper realistic, and one set of actual real armor. Or would it cost about the same to get craftsman to make the fake armor? I don't know.