Your book is the first I have read in one sitting for many years. Your story has resonated on so many levels. I live on a hill that overlooks Remutaka Prison. From now on I will consider it a place where miracles of positive human transformation and redemption might be quietly happening. Thank you.
Finally someone who has something to say because of a real life story. He's also someone who acknowledges the positive effect of mentors, unlike all the self-proclaimed heroes on ted.
This is what you'll hear from pretty much every motivational speaker and personal development buff out there. So cool to learn that the same principles apply whatever level you're at, or whatever circumstance you're in.
"....i had chosen to associate with people who didn't CARE ABOUT 'my well being'." Get that? -------> Its all about who you hang with and who you associate with. Stay away from Negative Energy....
This had me in tears. I could see and feel his conviction and passion. I could sense he was still struggling a bit as he spoke of his past, which is understandable. I hope that, one day, he can let go of the shame he feels for it. But I'm so glad he overcame so much to become such an inspiration to millions. I'm glad he's choosing to live in the now and share his experiences in order to help others. Our purpose in life is to help others, which can entail many different careers and aspects. Our freedom lies in our ability to go with the flow of life, accept ourselves with love and respect, and let go of what we can't change. Paul had to encounter a number of very difficult obstacles to figure out his life's mission, but he got there, and so can everyone else. We all have the potential to be so much more. You were born with the ability to love. Share it with yourself and others.
Kevin: I'm sorry you've been hurt so badly. Violins are a lovely instrument, btw. My sister used to play it way back when. Fantasies are what inspires us to create. Cell phones were fantasies that didn't exist till very recently. Artificial intelligence was a fantasy only depicted in books and movies till recently. My point is that dramatic fantasies can become reality.
Thank you for sharing this framework Mr. Wood. I've been searching a long time for some personal answers, and you've just provided them. Now I have a path.
Amazing Paul, Thank you! There is nothing better than using your own story to help others like me! We can feel the sincerity in your words and body language. Truly inspirational! You have made my day!
Thank you for your priceless insight Paul!! Loved hearing your perspective. This was a huge boost in my evening. I have been struggling with some goal-setting lately and been feeling down. Your Ted title intrigued me and story even more so. Thank you very much for the encouragement.
Very interesting. My family and I were his next door neighbours at the public housing complex we lived in. I was only 8 the night he murdered. Recently I decided to google the incident and was quite surprised to see where he had ended up... I'm now 27, boy times fly and things change. It's funny when you're a child you have no idea, I used to walk to school or home with his then girlfriends daughter... Niether of us probably knew what the adults were up to...
Dear Dr Wood: thank you for your hard-earned lessons so humbly shared. I have a loved-one in a prison of his own making and I have spent every day of the last several years with a sorrow that has derailed me often. Today, after listening to you, I realized that I too had built my own prison. There must be thousands of people like me that you might never meet but whose lives you have touched. I will share this with him. Thank you, Sir. Thank you, and thank you.
Wow, you are an inspiration Paul! Thank you so much for sharing your story and your journey to success. I am in my 1st year of my degree, and I will now stop whinging about struggling to get the work done :D
Uhm... A lot of children will remember their childhood as being "good and supportive"... But then, if you dig... "My mum and dad did the best they could... Mum would drink a bit and dad rooted around and beat her and me a bit, but nothing bad..." Then, dig a bit more......... You actually don't need abuse to the body to feel the same in the head as emotional abuse / neglect. Striving for the love of your father and the father not being there is a huge issue... Results in violence and drug abuse at young ages. This is true for me, and probably Paul
Very moving; also to hear how many people (incl your dear Dad!) made such an effort to help you. I'd like to see ex-prisoners who've turned their lives around go into prisons and help those who are still there. It would be the best way of paying it forward. Young men in lock-up are more likely to respect you because you've been there too.
This is an Australian who has done that. Arthur Bolkas 1st degree connection 1st Consultant Criminologist / Presenter Melbourne, Australia Raised on welfare in a Greek migrant family, Arthur managed to excel at school. A popular student, successful athlete, head prefect and dux of his final year, Arthur’s future looked promising. However a few years into an Arts/Law degree his life was a mess. Seeking fulfillment in a ‘jet-set’ lifestyle, Arthur had many negative experiences, including drug addiction and imprisonment, but ultimately managed to overcome them. Released from prison in 1983, Arthur has experience as a taxi driver, men’s group facilitator, youth worker, church pastor, university lecturer, restorative justice practitioner, professional speaker, prison program director, and featured in the general media on prison reform and youth issues. Arthur currently works as a consultant criminologist and freelance writer/speaker, and is programs manager (honorary) for the Bridge of Hope Foundation (BoH), whose aim is to support at-risk young people. He is also writing two books: one based on his prison journal; the other for students about what it means to be successful in life. . A graduate of Melbourne University (MA Criminology) and Winston Churchill Memorial Fellow.
***** Well being Japanese American has its adversity. Not been born "well to do" and being a "latchkey kid" was learning experience. My parents losing everything due to mandatory "summer camp" and starting all over with $200 and one suitcase, though they were both born in the US. (Try breaking free of that) Started working at 16 and being a Techie until Cypress Semiconductor closed its doors in 2008. I won't get into drugs and alcohol but I did mine and a few other people's lifetime allotment, which took sometime to undo. As well as doing time. So adversity is my middle name, Pal. I also think I would have taken my Ted Talk someplace real and not just threw some bs together the weekend before. But hey, you have tuition for another four years, to fall back on if you need it. I might have talked about surviving adversity and not hating my country for it.
That you can get any drug you want in even a maximum security prison demonstrates the futility of expecting laws against drugs will actually accomplish eliminating them. When there is desire for some forbidden product or service, laws against them merely enhance the opportunities for corruption and greed. Forbidding alcohol didn't work and had terrible side effects. We should be very careful about making laws that anyone would disrespect, and watch carefully to reveal and address the unwanted effects of them. And if everyone respects a rule, then why would you need a law at all.
I've listened to Paul several times now- I look for it because it has to be my favorite TED TALK of all time. Amazing how he sees that the little choices he was making directed him to his destination in Prison. It is a truth that most people deny. But I have a question. Why did Paul end up in Prison when the death of the drug dealer seemed to be self defense?
Freedom for yourself is often at the expense of those you care for.For me,the real warriors are those who barely earn a living for their family,living a boring life,with no wish to escape.The modern gladiators,men and women,you see them only at sunrise and sunset moving in and out of their prison.Nice talk.
I've learned actual technics's and steps towards achieving positive change. Makes you really think twice about what you can actually accomplish. His life's journey is a sad and tragic one. To achieve such greatness and inspire others is simply short of amazing! God bless you!
Dr. Wood, thank you for sharing your remarkable journey and achievements. A specifically poignant point you made was that 'ironically, you were literally in your prison in a prison'. This gave a platform for making your powerful -and inspirational- message. As a result of the devastating loss of your mother, and the angry, fearful, and insecure state in which this must have left you in, makes my heart ache. I feel sadness for your residual pain, in which you've obviously compartmentalised. At the time of this unfortunate incident, where your actions in the process of protecting yourself -from indecent behaviour of a mentally ill male- led you to prison, did not (in my opinion) warrant a 10 year prison sentence. A decade is an eternity for a child/young adult. You were a devastated, broken hearted, lost, confused, extremely vulnerable, testosterone pumped teenager, with such disappointment and anger; if this incident didn't tip you over the edge, something similar may have occurred anyway. I have much admiration for your accomplishments. You inspire me (as a mature age student) to do the best that I can in my Psychology undergraduate degree, so that I may have the chance to make a difference in peoples' lives too. I dearly hope that you're surrounded by lots of love, freedom, and happiness in your life, since you have escaped your prison, and the prison. All the best.
Thankyou Paul thankyou for having the courage to figure your shit out. for to do this I KNOW aint easy. real emotional change requires on going arduous work. probably WHY so many CHOOSE to just remain blaming life...& never ever looking....within.
Just found out about this guy through the "Love and Radio" podcast. Had me in tears. Definitely recommend the podcast. I felt so sad for him, life can be so f***ed up sometimes people get caught up in their circumstances and its fascinating to see someon come out of their delusion and realise that they did wrong and to change themselves for the better.
Astoundingly good talk. I have sent it to all the important people in my life and I HOPE it gets to TED's main stage for wider distribution. Thank you so much for posting it.
Thank u for finally admitting to my point & what I've always struggled with! Yes u can do break from your prison of mind, however u definitely need the support of people who actually cares! U need to have an environment of at least somewhat loving & caring & someone or something to look forward to! I don't think u can survive in an environment that everywhere u look is hatred!
Depends on which state he was in & whether he got hit with a manslaughter or murder conviction. Manslaughter conviction: good chance of him being a free man by now. Murder conviction: he’s still behind bars with decades more to go. Given the circumstances of what happened though, he never should have been convicted of murder in the first place!
Oh, but do you know her adress? xD I guess not, or did you confise mine with yours? My mum didn't give birth to a hater as you. Such mum who can give birth to a hateful person is maybe yours. And as I see, you use a lot of unnecessary energy to write your childish comment. ;)
Hello Paul, Congratulations and great work! You should be very proud. I took away several items from your talk. I am going to implement them in my life.
A brilliant and insightful truth. as someone who found themselves in British Army jail at 18 about to be prosecuted for committing an act of war, I did break out, both physically and mentally. After turning my back on restriction and setting my own path, I have had the privileged to actively save life, as firefighter for nearly 20 years, a paramedic rising operations manager and NHS commissioner. Including being part of the UK's first medical teams into Kashmir 2005, Haiti 2010 and Nepal in 2015. All is possible, all is a choice, all is now. Paul, mate you have complete respect.
Though I don't know the details of his story, how could he end up in prison for so long when he was defending himself against someone who was trying to violate him? So were not supposed to defend ourselves against perpetrators? Unless he was only charged for possession of drugs, which in that case it's also a horrifically long time for such a small crime. What a strong man.
I wish the ASL Interpreter would have been visible for the entire speech. But GREAT SPEECH! While I have not studied the offense committed and it crossed my mind why a person only served 10 years for murder, the arguments offered in this speech hold merit, generally. People have a right to change. I would have had more to say if the life of the man killed been illuminated. Knowing an entire story is useful.
So because your mother died when you were 18, and because you believe that the drug dealer had an interest in adolescent boys, which at 18 you were not an adolescent boy. There is no justification to murder anyone and not to batter someone to death with a baseball bat. Why is that not mentioned in your presentation?
There is no justification for a murder. It happened because of the circumstances. It's regret which is quite draining. So you can't do anything about even if it was mentioned in the talk. Bless you
