My narc shot himself in the foot. He discarded me 2 weeks ago by ending our 7 year marriage. He sat me down to talk to me and simply said 'i'm sorry to say this but let's go our separate ways' and his reasons were very vague, nothing sensible....I told him I respect his decision. The next day I started packing my stuff and he panicked and asked me not to make quick decisions 😂😂😂 I'm still packing away slowly planning my way out. UPDATE > Hi everyone thank you for your kind comments. I just wanted to update everyone on my progress. I FINALLY MOVED OUT!!! I moved to a different city. I've levelled down in a big way in terms of standard of living/lifestyle. I've found my own little place, i'm job hunting and this past week has been the happiest I've been in a very, very long time so I say it's a big LEVEL UP!! Thanks again to all you kind hearts.
Call the cops and go… the first and only time my ex husband ever hit me was when we separated and I asked him to leave my new apartment I woke up 4 days later in the icu ….
ONE OF THE SADDEST THINGS IS THAT EVERY EMPATH I'VE MET HAS BEEN FORCED TO ENDURED UNIMAGINABLE CRUELTY AND SUFFERING THROUGHOUT MOST OF THEIR LIVES AT THE HANDS OF THOSE WHO CLAIMED TO LOVE THEM. ❤❤❤❤
It makes me realize what the Bible explains about Jesus. Never lied,never committed one sin and he helped many people in his 33years of life”But he carried his cross and died for the bad of all sinners. We must guard our hearts and not let the evil from others to change us. Vengeance belongs to God. His punishment is way worse than we could give. We good people couldn’t live with the guilt of doing wrong “ Truly give it in prayer and watch God work!! It really really does work ONCE YOU truly let it go and trust Gods got this!!
I gave my ex probably the most effort I’ve given anyone I’ve ever dated in my 32 years on this planet. She discarded me 72hrs after the best night we had in our entire relationship, gaslighting ME saying that I was making things too serious and moving too fast and such when I know for a fact it was mutual and her avoidant ass started to catch feelings and got scared so she ran for the hills. Or so I thought…. Come to find out that like a week into no contact, my sister creeped her Instagram (for the record, I actually did NOT ask my sister to do this and even voiced my displeasure in her doing so and sending me screen shots), and not only had she taken down any evidence that I existed in her life at any point in time, but put back up (or unarchived) all of her pics she had with her ex before me. She used me as a rebound and caught feelings that she didn’t plan to catch, then blamed me and said I was the problem for “moving too fast” when I was just reciprocating the same energy she gave to me, only for her to start hitting up her ex again less than 2 weeks after dumping me. Truly shameful, emotionally immature, and frankly narcissistic behavior. I initially thought she was an avoidant, but now I’m starting to think she’s just a narcissist, posting all these things on her stories and such (again, my sister told me) about “freedom” and “growth” and all those cool buzz words, as if she dumped Jeffrey Dahmer when I can guarantee that no man has, or even will treat her as well as I did. She even told me that, again, like 3 days before she dumped me via text.
They want to be in control. No contact. Silence. No reaction. It's crazy driving to them because, although they will not admit it, it's reality showing them they're not in control at all.
Thank you so much he has devastated my whole life it’s been a whole year I left him June 12 of 23 and just four days ago he started his crap found me on TikTok and started commenting on mine and my new boyfriend’s pictures
Watching them spring their own trap is kinda rewarding. I know my ex is feeling the loss. It makes me feel good to know that I have created freedom through no contact. knowing that they need to get out of the trap is truly the turning of tables in their own game.
Don’t be happy if they feel sad even if they abused. They are miserable and you can really love they will suffer for ever. The more I learn about them the more I’m sad for them they are empty and constant have voices in their heads destroying their egos
@@jenj3299 i didn’t have the same experience. I’m a sigma empath so since the beginning I destroyed the girl without knowing so I now I feel bad knowing she will be miserable forever. I’m also catholic so I’m trying to love everyone. But I understand and respect your hate for them they are monsters
@@AgernonTheUnfair this ie where forgiveness works both ways meaning forgive yourself.. no you can not possibly ever make them happy or remove their suffering, it's not your fault and nothing you can do about it so no need for any guilt or blame instead forgive them out of pity and forgive yourself enough to forget their fake persona they made to connect with you and abuse you so that you can be free truly without guilt or pain and knowing you did nothing. The old saying goes if you truly love them let them go. If you truly love you then don't blame a disorder or trail of others onto yourself you can not help or fix everyone or their disorder or abuse or be accountable for any sins another commits. You still need to heal friend. Once you truly heal you will forgive them but also forgive yourself enough not to feel any guilt, remorse, bad feelings for their pain as it is not in your power nor are you a God. Only a God or they themselves can fix this not you. You need to focus on healing, self love and self care.
They hate losing control. And get very insecure because they think they’re better than you. ‘Why aren’t you fawning over me? Don’t you know how better I am than you?’ Truly sick people.
They basically want and need people to chase them...NOT!!!Not only does it give them an ego boost but it gives them a fuel hit too... He can get it elsewhere from the ones he did me dirty with behind my back....This well has run dry, dismantled and removed over 5 yrs ago ✌️
So true. Cut off a narcissist, going on two months now. I know they want me to run to them, but my heels are firmly planted in the ground. Let them stew in their toxic juices. Mind games be damned....
I’ve never heard or read that they go after “weak” or “needy” people. That’s not true: they look down on needy partners. They typically go after the biggest prize (the most beautiful/handsome, most accomplished, highest earning, most popular, etc.) that they can get, because it inflates their ego. It then gives them further supply to break down such a valuable person.
Exactly! It is their ego they exaggerate themselves and so they must aways have all attention so they need a good looking and amazing person to show off , someone that feeds them the power while They deplete your everything !
Let's face it. Both the narcissist and sensitive person (empath) are both damaged, and looking outside of themselves for validation. The narcissist is in your life for one reason. For you to learn to heal from them, and their shenanigans. To learn to love yourself more than seeking their love and validation that you may not have gotten as a child. The difference between them and us, is we don't take advantage of them, but we can not ever find love and validation through them, as it not within them. The truth is they can never give it because those are the very things that they lack, but seek to control you, and feed off of your resources, such as time, money, property, making them look good, feeding off of the emotional pain that they cause, etc.) 😊❤😊 The journey to healing is an inward journey of self love and validation, and cutting the cancer of the brokeness they create. You don't have to hate them, you have to understand the principles of how they operate so you don't get bamboozled again, or you'll have to repeat the lesson either with them, or someone just like them.😊
She divorced me after 20 years together. As soon as I moved I blocked her everywhere. Its now been 10 months and I haven't said a word to her and she will never hear this voice ever! She has tried hoovering many times and I ignored them all, she; is disgusting to me and she belongs to the streets.
It's been 10 months for me too. 13 years of hell he tackled me down a staircase and broke my foot and tore my rotator cuff. I am now finally walking and have tons of physical therapy still to go. Just this past week he had been trying to contact me! The audacity! I lost my job, failed my school semester and fell behind on everything I worked my tail off for. So much physical pain I've been going through for almost a year, that's besides the emotional and financial pain. Even though I have so much to say! So much to scream to that monster! He will Never hear my voice again!!
No contact also creates this whole landslide effect with the new partner- all of their crap that was directed on you now has nowhere to go except to the new supply. It’s a beautiful thing. They just don’t ever get it. My ex has a string of women who absolutely hate him.
I said this the other day. The new supply often times forgets that once they’re involved with a narcissist and you’ve been discarded, there old position opens up and needs to be filled. Played both sides to get fcuked in the middle 😂😂😂
I am very grateful for the education that I am getting , answers to what was going on in my so called relationship that I was in. I had to learn all the terms of narcissistic behavior and abuse.
They lack self control, they are co dependent i believe. Being a person who can cut ties and disappear infuriates them and it shows who the stronger person is. 💪 and whos really in control when shi hits the fan
There‘s no bigger satisfaction than knowing I didn‘t fall into the final trap: Blocking me after the discard and me not contacting him/giving him a reaction to that. 3 months into no contact and he‘s 99% out of my system.
This only works if they haven't found sufficient supply elsewhere, which for women especially, is easy. But, you must tell them goodbye and no contact regardless. As hard as it is, you have to let go of the delusion that they still care and will come back. They don't, and they won't - they've already erased it or replaced it. Probably long before they left. You have to accept this.
I'm definitely not a weak person and I got duped. I even wondered why I put up w the push pull from her; something I would have never put up w before. However, the love bombing and infatuation phases are so strong. I've NEVER chased women, and even I did a but of chasing during the push stages. They're good at what they do. I was done before the final discard, so jokes on her lol
Absolutely he thought he was the most clever person on the planet, often bragging about his high IQ and comparing himself to myself & others while his personal life was a disaster.. trying to convince me that all my many flaws were to blame for the sudden and abrupt breakup ( discard) , which occurred a week after his bday when I surprised him with a plane ticket to finally visit his family , we held hands kissed and he told me many times he loved me and that it was such a big deal that I’d done that . I told him that after 5 years together I was ready to move towards us being married as we’d been discussing before our planned trip to meet his family together , this all happened two weeks before my birthday. I’ve since learned that narcissist like to devastate people who love them by blowing up important events. My ex got a three in one 😣 I got up quietly picked up my coffee cup, thanked him for the coffee and left the cafe with my head held high and not a single tear. He looked confused and stared at a spot on the floor as I walked away. ( not the response he expected from me) 😌
I isolated myself due to my CPTSD and then the narc and his friends gang stalked me. All while smearing my name to my friends. No one ever asked me about my point of view on the subject, just watched me like a freak, like it was my fault- even though his behavior was like psychotic torture.
they turn everybody against you (behind your back) but they have been having affairs etc.they make up stories to justify their actions.but when you dont bother or talk , they try to make you jelouse or get others to ask questions etc.they love gossip and creatiing it
I really needed this right now, thank you Joe, your videos help people immensely. After 1 month of NC, he appeared back saying he was worried for my health (he also has a new supply). I answered him very cold and brief. He is relieved and keeps being kind and considerate, but it triggers me that confusion and anxiety that I no longer want. I stop and keep with my healing journey.
Very powerful stuff Joe, thank you so much for such deep and accurate insight. This is very timely for me and believe me your work is saving lives. God bless you brother. Much love from Sydney, Australia ✝️🙏
I have come to the conclusion that I will never get closure. After a while you just kind of stop asking and give up hope that you will ever know. I don’t think questioning what you supposedly did ever really goes away. Even knowing about NPD doesn’t really answer the lingering questions. It’s normal to wonder and to question what happened.
I disagree , i am an empath & i am not dependant on any one , the narcissist are the ones that are codependents on others , they are the ones that jumps from one relationship to the other , without ending the last , so i disagree with what you say about empaths , empaths dont depend on others for they security blankets , thats a lie , i left 12 years ago & never went back , neither looked back after my divorce from him , he's the one that wanted to come back to me , he went as far as sending one of his flying monkeys to " Collect Me Up !! " , i didnt go & never returned to him , he was the weak one , not me
If i took my attention away from the narcissist and talked to other people the narcissist would always come over and take over. Then act surprised when i was leaving.
Yes, this completely describes my familys experience with my husband's adoptive father. There was this cycle of abuse and pretend reconciliation. When we cut him off he went completely off the deep end and caused his own desstruction. Very sad and disturbing.
I told mine I felt like a 7/11…always there for your convenience. Never there when I needed them. Sad how stupidly I got duped. Fantastic play of events going back taking everything you said as experience. Big’ole thank you.
What do you do when you just can’t leave because of illness an financial dependence? I moved from Europe to the US to advance his career. We lived in 5 different states and 15 different houses and/or apartments to advance his career. I took care off EVERYTHING! I didn’t work outside the home and catered to his every need so he could advance his career. Now that he is retired he just ignores me. He is so cruel!!
God bless you! It will be hard, but you’re doing the right thing and the only thing that will ever bring you peace and self-respect. ❤. You’re in my prayers!
The narc thinks you'll never leave because of their inflated ego and sense of self. They are delusional and feel they know just what to do to trick ppl into staying with them because it's what's worked for them so many times. And when they see you've moved on that ego still tells them they can get you back. Like a whole game. As long as they can keep you believing in the confidant inflated mask, the ego is safe. But if you can see through that, they know you'll discover that they're really pieces of 💩 and hate themselves. And they do not want that at all costs. They want you to believe in them. The hoover is to check and see if you still believe in the mask. They'll check from time to time to see if you still believe in their false self. But once you realize 100 percent without a shadow of a doubt who that real person actually is, you'll no longer want them near you and they'll know it.
10 yrs I've wasted, had to finally walk away, 9 weeks and counting, no contact, but I'm still on edge, as she may show up at my house, and walk straight in, she's done it before , she ticked every box of a slimey covert Narsisist !
Yep. Unblocked after I went no contact.😅 I sent a message recently of acceptnce of it all thinking I was still blocked (he blocked when I tried to get confession/closure) So I deleted fast. I blocked him & all traces. Unless he hoovers me physically. Then its done for me... forever. ✌
Yes you express this very well! Also if your sensitive to other people's energy and you've been away from them for a whilst then somehow or other you communicate with them again you realise how toxic their energy is! Especially if you've been around good l loving people who's e nergy feels peaceful and makes you feel good. I stay well clear their energy makes you feel not peaceful and dogs up your mind ! They're so chaotic and I feel the hate coming from them quite easily now ! I can spot them a mile off ! Stay well clear !Don't be fooled by their being nice act trying to win you back. God Bless !✨💗✨🙏
Joe your work is amazing. I say it again and again. It would be super to get some life examples of such behaviour just at times to understand how to recognise various motivations or actions. You videos are lovely and poetic - wonderful as they are - don’t get me wrong. Just thinking it could be great to hear actual small gestures that shows narcissistic personality. Love and respect❤
I always see really negative comments towards narcissists. I've just recently discovered that I am a vulnerable/covert narcissist. I severely damaged an ex-partner due to drug addiction, which I blamed on everyone else and the addiction itself rather than taking accountability. I was incapable of feeling empathy towards anyone who was affected by my addiction, like I feel like I honestly can't put myself in other people's shoes. I didn't even realise it at the time, but I'd use silent treatment when things angered or offended my weak sense of self. I basically just tick all the boxes of covert-narcissism, and honestly, it's pretty painful to realise what I was doing to people while simultaneously realising that at the time I had zero idea what i was doing, it was all subconscious. I feel like a damaged person. I haven't dated since that ex in 2018 out of fear of doing the same thing to somebody else. I've always been highly introverted. I thought I was very introspective but I obviously wasn't because my behaviour went unchecked for years. I just want people to know that there are some self-aware narcissists who understand how poisonous they are. I feel a lot of guilt about the way I've acted.
Great content, can you do a video on when you dump the narc and they moves on to someone else but still wants to keep you in theìr lives, so they go back and forth between you and their new supply.
@rashidarowe7882 Why are you allowing this though? It should be a straight block and NO Contact. You staying in this shows the Narc you are okay with being used . He does not care for either of you, it’s the SUPPLY and CONTROL he is after, unfortunately you are letting him do it ❤
I've been spoiled with gifts, massage, haircuts, love, affection and attention many times in the past. I'm very picky and love to spoil one special guy.
This is our 3rd round. I did loads of research and been planning my revenge for months. Shes at ready to go phase now and every time i tell her i dont care, leave sooner than later, shes injured. its destroying her. meanwhile im working out, getting stuff done. she cant leave because i wont care.
He will do it, my ex when she had groomed new supply and then sprung the discard took my cat with her. I never found out what happened to my kitty. Others are just objects to narc's, to be used and discarded. They really show you how little you mattered to them.
My ex gf has bpd and npd and not only she mistreated me but in fact she raped me too because she lied to me to get sex and I'll never forgive her for that
The subject is truly fascinating, i mean, look how much videos and content is, not only on your channel, in all internet, this will explode hardly in few years i think, your work is really good i like how you talk about so many things and they are all connected, keep on your work, i would love more creativity, this is not criticism, i know you have so much potential and understanding in the subject plus your style... Keep on, god bless you, thanks for all the content truly appreciate
