After over ten years, and my youngest son has graduated, I'm done. I don't even WANT to have s3x with a person who has turned into a roommate. I'm 57yo; I don't want to waste any more time with my 'wife.'
Yup after so long you just lose interest. One key advice I'd give to guys is when the rejection is at least a couple times a week for a month or more it's a serious red flag and it will absolutely get a lot worse.
Furthermore, it enters into taking advantage of the other in a despicable manner if you deny your spouse intimacy, and yet you expect all the other full benefits of marriage.
She informed me that she gets nothing from it, she married me for "other reasons" - once we adopted 4 children, she simply withdrew it over time (7 years) and nothing for over 8 years now. over 15 out of 23 years together. Almost all the children are grown, and I am reaching my end. what bothers me more than anything is knowing how she slept around prior to our meeting, the ease at which she threw it out to people who did nothing to deserve that kind of connection, but yet gives NOTHING to keeping our relationship together after she got what she wanted - safety and security.
In such a situation, you can do NOTHING. You have to leave or accept the situation. It will not get any better, and YOU make the choice. By entering into marriage, both parties agree to monogamy NOT celibacy. Refusal is BETRAYAL and a breach of oath.
Where in your legal contract to pool resources, does it mention that? Marriage is NOTHING more than a legal contract between 2 people registered with the state. Don't confuse that with what people say it is.
@@BloodySoup74 So that's not valid. Married in a church isn't actually married. It's make belief. What actually count is the legal paper you sign ahead of time. The ceremony is just a party, non binding and worth nothing. The only thing that makes you married is the paper you sign for the government. The funny thing is that it's often signed days before the party and people celebrate the wrong date.
The expectation of your spouse being faithful is good, right, and necessary. However, expecting your spouse to be faithful implies something to be faithful for. It is grossly unfair to deny your spouse intimacy without good reason. If one doesn't compromise, then it's doubtful there was actually love. Love isn't just mere feelings and words, it's what you do. Marriage does involve respecting the other's rights, but that's not what love and marriage us all about. It's about giving of yourself, and sacrifice, to and for the other. I gave up after 2 years, and am in the process of leaving. I'm lonelier now than when me and my partner first met.
I find it odd that when challenged a withholding spouse, will generally get very uppity and pontificate how it's "my body and my choice". Yet at the same time they expect you to remain "faithful", which means they demand authority over your body. This is hypocritical; either faithfulness goes both ways, or it goes neither way.
My wife has had all kinds of medical issues the last five years and she shut down our sex life. I can't leave her to deal with this alone, I want to take care of her.
That's the other way around. The marriage is the legal contract only. There's nothing more involved. The moment you realize that, you'll understand it better.
@@ElimEx1 Thank you, Elim. So if marriage is nothing more than a legal contract, what's the point of getting married? To me, it's a bit of a conundrum.
@@HansKillius What's the point of the legal contract? To pool resources. Why pool resources? To benefit both parties in the contract. In modern times, it means providing a stable foundation for procreation, household or other objectives based on common ground. In the past, love and procreation were not connected. It was for lineage and inheritance. Today, it's based on love but the purpose of the marriage hasn't change. But going back further in this, marriage was invented by the Vatican to control European nobility. An argument can easily be made that marriage is still pushed as an agenda by churches and governments to control the population.
There's nothing to do except divorce or accept that it's how it is and know that it will be like that with someone else anyway. Work on yourself, live your best life and find your own happiness.
Leave, and within 24 hours of it becoming clear there is no nookie. Life is too short to put up with such nonsense from such selfish controlling women. A woman will never truly respect her man, unless on some level she knows she will lose her man. A side benefit I have found with being respected by your woman is that lack of nookie is never ever an issue, unless there is some temporary physical reason such as immediately after birth, the mom is in no fit state for nookie, but if she truly cared and respected her man, she would find ways to take care of her man's needs without normal intercourse. That's my two cents worth.
@@BFku36 Relax, sit back and drink a coke, stop taking yourself so seriously. Your comment is not worthy of a considered response. Any one can let fly with insults, and, your comment is the opinion of one person. Opinions are life arseholes, everyone has one.
🤔 So after seeing a couple of Videos about this topic to me the only logical sulution is 1. never get married and 2. never get in a long term relationship. Swap your girlfriends every year or so...
LMFAO, what she fails to admit is that ALL those layers that lead up to intimacy were intentionally sabotaged by the woman to avoid intimacy in the first place. There are videos out there from honest women, which flat out admit, that women, kill off the playfulness, the gentle touches, the playful banter, all the stuff they CLAIM they need as daily foreplay to make them ready when the night comes, for the sole reason that they are afraid those acts will lead to physical intimacy. So, the whole premise of this video is wrong. You didn't lose intimacy from a willing wife, because you let all these foundational elements fall by the wayside, rather the WIFE, systematically destroyed those foundational elements for the sole purpose of killing intimacy.
1,000 %. she has you captured and you are either in debt or have children - you are no longer needed other than to provide - if you dare leave, you are enslaved until all of the children are grown. She has you - and no longer wants you.
Hmmm...This sounds too much like the "happy wife, happy life BS", jump through all these hoops, and after all that if I have run out of excuses, then I'll oblige and tolerate you. Either you want him, or you don't. Somehow, it's expected of the man to do his part, (if it's not working it's because he hasn't done it), but it's ok for the woman to sit back and do nothing?
Divorce her as soon as this nonsense starts. It will never get better!!! Never!!! She has already checked out. Men need to walk away from marriage. It is a losing proposition.
Leave. It won't get better without your wife realizing what she's doing to damage the relationship, and most women do not take accountability for their failings in relationships. Men primarily experience connection and closeness through physical intimacy, women emotional. You starve a man of the physical, don't be surprised if he closes off the emotional connection that you so desperately crave.
You work on yourself, get the healing you need, pray for your spouse, encourage her to get the help she needs from the trauma she obviously suffered , and continue to have unconditional love for one another. Only God can work the miracles and people have free will to change when and if they so choose . No ultimatum works . No simple solutions or sit down discussions . Believe it or not , it’s the male here that’s done the work and made the changes and even gone to counseling alone . Sex is always a woman’s prerogative- when she feels up to it, and even then it comes with conditions . It’s really not that important a thing to focus one’s life and energy around . I used to think differently … now I’m like a nice cup of coffee and peace and quiet and no drama is best !!!
Sounds nice but God acts on grateful hearts. Unresolved trauma is not your responsibility. If they cannot be happy on their own, you are living in a fantasy of your own all alone. If you are okay with it carry on.
