HOW I went from ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT to SECURE...and you can too. 

Can we just say that sometimes toxic relationships bring out the anxious attachment in that person, and that's just a symptom of a toxic relationship.

The quote "secure people seek emotional support; not validation" hit hard. What a nugget of wisdom.

Every teenage girl should hear this message. Golden advice.

"people are born as they are but people make themselves into who they wanna be" this hit me!

I definitely know I have pushed good people away by having anxious attachment. As I have been healing it, I sometimes cringe at my past behavior but I tell myself that I didn’t know any better at the time and I’m learning. When you heal your anxious attachment, you also heal your relationship with yourself and how you speak to yourself. You will begin to realize how kind and more patient you are with YOU. It’s a journey guys. Be gentle with yourself.

"You need that fix more than you need a good relationship." THAT PART.

“You running after people makes them run” that was so freaking powerful

This made my stomach turn. I literally feel sick because I resonate with it so hard. I’m am an anxious attachment and I cannot bare the feeling that comes over me. It’s so true!

Fear of abandonment is so strong in many people

1) Self soothe 2) trust 3)seek emotional support 4) clear communication 5) not defensive take w grain of salt 6) compromise n set boundaries and respect people’s boundaries 7)free of baggage from past relationships

As a man with an anxious attachment, I’m sitting here in my office like “yoooo she’s on point” 😂

I just broke things off with the dismissive avoidant and I woke up this morning a little bit sad. But I was instantly able to take care of myself better, and not being with this person who deprives me of emotional connection. Not being with this person who triggers my ptsd. I was able to make myself a healthy breakfast and I am excited about the goals I have in my life, primarily school. I'm also going to make getting closer to God a priority as I know that God is my strength and my source of all things good

It’s crazy that after watching this, I’ve realized my bf has been trying to tell me this whole time to stop. To stop asking all these questions to feel secure , to stop doubting him and assuming he will do something wrong. I always thought he just doesn’t want to tell me because he doesn’t feel that or because he will break my trust , but honestly it seems like that is the definition of anxious attachment. I will take back my dignity and be the strong confident woman that I am. Thank you so much for this.

I am a psychologist and a psychotherapist, and I honestly tell you : you are a natural!!! Well done !!!

"you need to learn what secure attachment is and act as if you are". Holy crap. And overnight i went from fearing I will be abandonned, to .. not at all. This one struck so hard true. I do understand i still need to perform so much work, but just this bit of information kindof pivoted me enough in the right direction that it made me feel so much better. This video has helped me more than the countless hours of discussions with my friends. ❤

Everyone should watch this... this is free therapy. Thank you so much.

It’s so nice to finally figure out what is wrong with me so I can tackle this problem. It feels good to not feel alone

"..it becomes a cloud over the person you truly are" - this is the perfect description how I feel in my relationships. It's like being in prison. Imprisoned by myself.

As an anxiously attached man, in a beautiful loving relationship, it's pushing my partner away and I'm trying really hard to fight the dragon, I'm learning about how my secure version looks in my head, and I'd like to thank you for the moment in this video that makes the point of fearing the consequences of living in the hurt of constant anxiety of being hurt, instead of stepping into a secure role and enjoying the moment and giving full trust until being hurt...I snapped completely and let down a deep cry, thank you for your perspective, I'll be back to watching this video.

Who's watching this in 2024? 🙋‍♀

Anxious attachers often will attract avoidant partners because the reason most people have an anxious attachment is that one of their primary caregivers was an avoidant attacher. However, people with anxious attachment styles (depending on the level of anxiety) can often create a great partnership with a secure attachment person, who will by their steadiness and patience allow the anxious attacher to relax and become more secure themselves.

12:54 Regulate your emotions (without the person to validate you) 13:16 Not ask people how they feel in order to make you feel better about your self, until it becomes a practice to your self 13:33 Secure people trust others (You need to deploy a element of trust) 25:06 Secure people have effectively communication skills They say what they desire and what they. want, as opposed to searching for outs of people and searching for inadequacies *Example instead of*: "Why you don't call me last night?" "I Love it when you call me, I love it if you call me tomorrow."* [Say what you want instead of, what the person didn't do. You need to communicate clearly with your words and needs, as opposed to play games.] 15:47 Secure people need emotional support, instead of validation *Example*: ▪︎"I am feeling tired today, I'd really want to spend time with you." ▪︎"I really need your help on this issue." [They watch what is happening and let's say after two months he doesn't call you. And say: " You know I love when you call me, it makes me feel happy. When you don't, it's makes me feel sad."] 16:14 Secure people are comfortable being alone [ You need to be on this Journey with yourself. You need to have a little stoicism.] 16:51 Secure people are not defensive [They take things with a pinch a salt. They know that not anybody can really see into you. Nobody really knows you. Everybody sees you with a perception of themselves plastered on it.] 17:07 How to stop being defensive? (the right mindset - Not defensive but empathy) [People don't talk about you, they are talking about a microscosm of what they saw and put it together in their head, from their life experiences and were over the web of what they believe is a reality. That isn't me, that is the perceptionthey have for me.] 17:30 Secure people show empathy were it is needed [They're there for other people, not because I gives them something back. They don't expect anything back.] 17:42 Secure people know when to compromise and when to say no [They know we're their limits are.] *Example*: Bf/Gf: "Can you wah the dished please?" ▪︎Anxious attached person: "Yes, yes" (even if they're tired -> Just to be liked) □Then resentment will build up and then they'll have a fight with her partner□ ▪︎Securely Attached person: "I'm sorry I'm tired today, I can't do it. But I love you I will try tomorrow" [They know their capabilities. They learn to know themselves. They're straightforward. They say what they feel and mean what they say. They respect other people boundaries ] 19:01 Secure people are free of old baggage Study Secure Attachment style: ‐ Attached - Getting the Love you Want - How to be an adult in relationships

being anxious /avoidant, you will sabotage everything that is good with relationships, and only attract nonesense into your life, the nonesense that you demanded through your actions.

“You have decided somewhere in your early life that the only reason people want to be around you is because you’re comfortable to be with.” That really hit me. Everything else in this video as well but this one especially. Everything you said is blowing my mind. I knew I wasn’t mentally right in a lot of aspects, but I didn’t realize there was a term out there that explains my behaviors and thought processes EXACTLY as they are. Thank you for making this video. I’m now subscribed and heading to your TikTok now to follow. ❤

Damn she is straight up spitting facts 😅 I am seeking validation from someone I don’t even want or know! I’m going to have to watch this about 7 more times.

A funny thing: you’d still lose people if you’re secure. Your needs don’t automatically change and people wouldn’t like it or be triggered by your communication. Knowing yourself & growing is a treasure, however, life gets rid of people for you the more you come into yourself.

Whenever I start feeling the anxiety and feelings of abandonment I come back to this video, I've watched it so many times and every time it calms me down. Thank YOU!

Male 6'2" 245 lb former Top Secret Cleared and Intelligence Officer, and after decades of trying to find out what is wrong with me and this 20 minutes is the most accurate description of me I have ever heard. I have tears in my eyes. Thank you Margarita.

Can I just say: this comment sections brings me so much hope. Resources, learning, self-awareness, empathy. Every one of you are breaking the patterns and if we choose to be parents, we will be able to give what we weren’t given. And I just love the idea that future generations, slowly but surely, will have less trauma to work through, less re-patterning, through more secure love.

This video is a major reality check. It made me so damn angry with myself, because it is so true. I am going to listen to it again and again until I start listening to it with self-compassion and understanding. And then I'm gonna work on it in a healthy way.

I cried… thank you for understanding and being able to articulate to individuals like myself. Wonderful feeling knowing your on the right path through self-awareness.

My partner literally just told me in this moment he just needs me to be secure or space! This was a huge shift and I realized I don’t need to do this back and forth insecurities and I can be a secure partner in this relationship and phone call right now. 💜😅 downloading those books now. Thanks

You speak about this really brilliantly. I’ve been on the same journey, going from anxious to secure over the past 6-7 years. Choosing to heal this is a game changer. For anyone reading this - I promise, you can heal this & feel soooo much better. Wishing everyone the best. Thank you 🙏🏻

This is one of the best if not the BEST video i’ve ever seen on Anxious attachment style. Simple, straight to the point and taken from a mouth of someone who have been through it all and came to the other side with the best advice. You gave me hope. Thank you so much!🙏🏻

You just made a 48 year old man cry, almost every single word you spoke of is descriptive of me. I have pushed every single person in my life away,including family, no longer have a single friend, if my phone rings which it rarely does it’s because somebody needs something of me, and the resentment and total inability to trust anyone including myself. I have always vocally expressed that there were no rules in my world and that I’ll do whatever I want whenever I want and answer to nobody,I still do live this way to this very minute but i cant be vocal to people who are long gone now,my fear of not being liked and accepted has made me have behavioural habits thats have in turned them away,"what i feared most" life is fucked sometimes. The pain and fear and resentment that i have inside me is overwhelming, ive twice unsuccessfully tried to take my own life to escape the mental menace that occupies my brain cavity. I will get to that point many more times to come so eventually ill get it right and be at peace with myself Regards Nobody !!

Wow, I don’t think there was one point that didn’t fit. I cannot stop crying right now. And yes, anxious attachment style sucks. You are truly amazing. I really appreciate your video! Thank you! ❤

This brought me to tears, I don’t know what to do, I feel helpless I just want to be content with being alone.

Literally cried while watching this. I dealt with separation anxiety as a child because my mother was a drug addict and now I’m 20 and dealing with anxious attachment in my relationship. Ive been trying so hard to change it but it’s so hard. I’m not giving up.

I was so tired of watching self-help videos like this ,_, most of them made me feel like there’s really something wrong with me and it’s all my fault that I’m in this mess. I’m so happy I tried one more time and listened carefully to everything you say. You’re on point about everything. It almost felt like you were reading my palm 🤭. I know I have this unhealthy attachment style that I got from childhood, and it was never my intention fo be toxic to everyone I love. It’s hard hearing all this in such a straightforward manner because it’s the truth. No one’s responsible for our emotions but ourselves. I have more to say, but I’m just gonna bid my greatest gratitude and best wishes to you. Thank you so much from the bottom of my exhausted heart 💕

When the student is ready, the master appears. Thank you for your light Margarita. I'm ready to dive deep into secure attachment and make it my reality❤

as a dude struggling with anxious attachment, it has pushed every relationship away in a self fulfilling prophecy. but now i’m ready to change for the better! wishing you all the best !

As an anxious attacher in the process of healing, I've realized the that the key to changing your attachment style to secure is truly loving yourself and believing in yourself. When you have that confidence and commitment to making yourself happy you will not have those automatic anxious thoughts, you will not seek out validation because you can give it to yourself.

Wow! I have never heard anyone break me down like you do in these videos...not even therapists do this. I prayed for God to direct me to the people online who can help me heal this part of my life. I am at that stage where I've had enough of myself and had enough of slowly killing myself with this. Thank you so much. I will be purchasing the books.

I am a guy, and this hits very hard. Some of these behaviors and thoughts can be exaggerated more or less to me specifically, but it's definitely me. I miss the ability to create a video response to a video because I would have definitely done it with this. You're very insightful, and you sound like you would make an excellent therapist or sociologist. Thank you.

Regulate your emotions without revalidation You need to deploy the element of trust Communicate clearly give people a chance Comfortable being alone (no attachment anxiety) Not defensive Show empathy when it’s needed not expecting anything back Know your capabilities Respect other people’s boundaries Free of old baggage Be in the moment Read the following books ATTACHED GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT HOW TO BE AN ADULT IN RELATIONSHIPS

This video has literally flipped a switch in my brain. I feel so much more informed and aware of why some of my relationships are the way they are.

It’s exhausting being constantly anxious that something is going to go wrong, even when my partner is the most kind, assuring person who has never given me any reason to worry. I want with everything in me to be free from this, im 49 and I have had enough.

This feels like a healed person’s advice to their older self. Firm yet kind. Thank you!

I just discovered what Anxious Attachment was this morning and have self diagnosed myself. Now I can't stop looking at videos on the topic. It all makes so much more sense now. I have always just thought that I "loved hard" and that it was always too much for others. I've been crying off and on all morning now that I realize and have a better understanding of how I have behaved in relationships.

Been in therapy almost a year, and been in therapy once before to get out of a toxic relationship, so most of these things I have heard before. But I had to stop the video at some point cause I was about to cry. Father that has never been 100% in my life, lots of bullying and rejection growing up and I turned out into a depressed, anxious person, who’s not able to get vulnerable with other but also feels completely alone. Letting go of the disappointments is not easy

12/27/2023 I realized I am an anxious attached kind of person. I’m a good person but today today I realized I am anxiously attached. What an amazing way to start my year. I get to work on who I am. Thank you for sharing this information

Hey there 🥰! So im not sure if youre ever going to read this comment but here it goes anyway : My name's Anna and im a 26 yearsold woman living in Valencia , Spain . I have had this anxious attachment style due to my anxiety disorder for years now and the way you described all of the scenarios and symptoms is literally me in all aspects when it comes to my failed past romantic relationships . I just want to say thank you , Thank you for making this video and also at the same time making people like me feel like we are not alone and feel like there is a solution to it . Hope you have a beautiful day! 🥰😊 .

This is incredible I feel so naked after this but also like I need to replay this daily until I get it right. I'm on RU-vid daily for years and this is hands down the most important video that I've ever seen. Thank you for this.

I believe I went from secure to anxious from being in a 15 year long abusive marriage. I still retain most elements of secure (respect boundaries, I don’t over text or call, strong sense of self and confidence, can be alone) but I have discovered that when in a relationship, the more my feelings grow the more anxious I get. It is actually nice to identify what is going on so I can work on it instead of focus on those uncomfortable feelings.

I really hope you see this but man… these are all the things my boyfriend has been telling me for a year since we got together and it took for us to almost break up and call it quits for me to actually put effort into looking into what he has been telling me for months now… everything you explained, and I mean every single point you stated that is exactly how I feel in relationships all the time. Just watching some of your videos has changed my outlook on myself and how I view myself and myself forth. It’s like a new level awareness. Thank you so much. I feel like you really are helping so many people.

I am a guy yet I relate to this so much. Ever since my gf told me she might go to a uni out of city, I have developed this anxious attachment and am praying n trying to remove this attachment so that I don’t lose her❤️

Wow, your "real talk" approach to anxious attachment really resonated with me!! While listening to this, I was able to step outside of the victim mindset that an anxiously attached person has and step into deeper reasons to feel/act secure. Thank you!

As a male, I can honestly say I'm indeed an anxious attachment. I always thought I was confident, but dating people ended up brining the bad qualities in me and I end up coming across as needy. Grateful for this video and insight and this helps lots.

You have single handedly changed my life and put a literal mirror before me. You have a gift of wisdom and have afforded me the opportunity to process my recent separation in the healthiest manner of self exploration and growth. Thank you.

It's so incredibly ironic how we, through trying to protect ourselves from future pain, end up creating a monster for us to battle against in the present. And that monster's name is Anxious Insecure Attachment. Thank you for all your brilliant insights into slaying this beast once and for all.

I felt this entire message to my core. I’ve been so stressed, overwhelmed, feeling alone because “I have no friends or loved one” but I’ve never been able to sustain relationships because in my heart I believe people are going to leave me or hurt me. It’s an awful mindset to be in & I desperately need/want to be secure in myself and love myself. I’m trying to learn how, so I can be a better me & example to my daughter

I just wanted to tell you that your video was the epiphany i needed. I cant tell you enough how much i thank you. Ive watched gazillions of attachment videos abt my attachment style. My recently broken up avoidant ex and i are no longer together. I let him go after 10 months of painful communication, anger, argument, back n forth etc. i realized that he is perhaps not the one for me, but i also realized that i am done being anxiously attached , and im not just saying this. Im done. Im ready to do the work. Im ready to be in my truest version of my feminine. When im not anxious, i have strength, my friends come to me for advice, i calm people down. But i cant apply this to myself. Like you, i also did Keto for two straight years, having lost 75 pounds. I felt freer, more beautiful, stronger. I also attracted more people to myself seeing i could lose the weight and feel healthier. I stopped doing Keto but have stuck to doing OMAD. Im eating carbs again, but never gain now. I wesr real skinny jeans now and look and feel fabulous. I will be subscribing, following your journey. Binge watched your content now. Please continue the very empowering talks and videos. I clicked on your video with tear stained eyes. My eyes are completely dry, and i have literally stood up and risen from my chair quite literally. You dont know how your one video has helped someone truly in need. That was me. That was today. Thank you.

One of the best videos I've ever watched describing the internal torment of this. Spot on! The perfect balance of insight, vulnerability, and firmness. Thank you!!!

I felt as if you were talking directly to me. This video made me cry. I've always wondered why I have the reactions that I do, but to know that I can change it through hard work gives me hope. Thank you.

I definitely lost my best relationship over both my anxious attachment style and my partners fearful avoidant style. It was a terrible combo. But part of me hopes if we both work on ourselves we might cross paths again one day. I love your video!

as a man with an anxious attachment style I have to say thank you. I only wish I had found this video sooner. The way you speak so frankly about how these behaviors destroy relationships, from a perspective of experience, is extremely effective (painfully so). It's like looking into a mirror and not liking what you see but realizing you can change what you see there. this video is going to be a great starting point in making a change in my life. thank you

I have never heard anything like this from even Experts. Your words seem to open my mind,my eyes,my soul.. I love you for going through and coming out❤

The way you outlined the anxious attachment style describes me so much that it’s almost spooky.

We need to get stuff like this teached in school.. so we doesn't hurt each other and leave so much scars.. For now I am anxious attached.. but I hope this will change 😄

My ex was an anxious attachment I still love her but she just DROWNED me in her attachment and felt so suffocated. I made a promise to love her no matter what but she ended up being so insecure and jealous that eventually she just wanted to end things as hard as it was for her but jesus christ.....I really don't understand anxious attachments. Hopefully she finds healing but I need to focus on myself now. Because, it's my life now.

In My previous relationship, I was the one with the secure attachment, and my ex was the anxious one. It drove me away but I was so understanding and had my own issues letting go that I stayed way too long and it destroyed me. It ended worse than anything I could have imagined. Now I am the one with the anxious attachment, thank you for posting these. This is my new journey ❤

I learned that I have not healed in this area. Everything you’ve mentioned is what I do ! That’s heart breaking …

"People are born as they are, but people make themselves into who they want to be." - powerful.

I'm currently going through a breakup where the relationship itself was healthy and happy, but as soon as he blind-sided me with how he truly feels it sent me spiraling back to the anxious person I was in all of my unhealthy relationships before him. It's been a month and a half and I'm still spiraling and reeling. This video could not have come at a better time for me. Thank you.

As a male teen, I feel like this video hit every single spot of me

needed this video.

I am blown away by this video , I am anxious attached and this makes me want to change. I used to think being a bleeding heart was kindness and love, now I see it as an empty manipulative way of life that pushes people away and takes any chance of real connection away. I want to thank you for this video.

Yes you can become more securely attached. The anxious attachment will still be triggered at times, but you can develop more security over anxiety. The important piece is to acknowledge the trigger and choose to respond in a healthier manner. Healing core memories is the most effective approach. This core memory is the reason you have a trigger. Once this memory is healed, the trigger no longer has any power over your behavior. For example, if your partner says or does something that triggers your anxiety and threatens the connection, explore the earliest time you felt this type of feeling. Once you have discovered the source of this trigger, work with your therapist or with regressive work to heal this experience and the irrational thoughts that the experience created in your mind. You matter and have value, someone in your life made you doubt your value, so take your value back!

I'm a dude and I'm russian and I have no idea about feminine energy whatever it is, but this video actually helped me a lot. Thank you.

I needed this !

Yup, that's why the relationship broke, and honestly I confronted her about her lack of trust with me and I was Fucking fed up because it was just a constant reoccurance where there was a moment of trust to be had and she pulled away and decided NOT to trust and ON TOP of that looking at the "negatives" in me like really? It was fucking horrible. Being in that relationship sucked but I still Love her and want her to be so fucking happy. I just want her to be the happiest girl alive. I want nothing but happiness for her I want her to be so happy that she wakes up smiling every day with Love in her heart....I truly truly Love this women....

Another anxiously attached man here. My 9 year old marriage has just ended not long ago and I only came to learn that I'm anxiously attached towards the end of the marriage. During most of the marriage it wasn't an issue and actually it wasn't the core reason why the marriage ended, but right now when I try my first steps at dating, I definitely feel the same old anxiety hitting me. After few weeks of texting and only one date with a girl I anxiously wait her to call or text me and creating scenarios of how the whole thing will fail... It's just crazy that eventually all those things in life will come back haunting you until you don't fix them. But it's never too late. Thank you for the video.

Some of your description of an anxiously attached person described my behavior to an absolute T. I started to feel discouraged, especially because I am well aware how my anxious attachment can harm the relationships of the people around me. Particularly, my previous relationship I believe was with a partner who was also anxiously attached, and his anxious attachment resulted in lots of behaviors that led me to ending the relationship. So, knowing from my own experience, I desperately do not wish for my anxious attachment to cause rifts in my relationships. That said, I started to feel some encouragement when I realized that while I am someone who is generally anxiously attached, I have started implementing a lot of the behaviors characteristic of someone with secure attachment. I've been working very hard on communicating effectively, including communicating in ways that reflected very similarly to the examples you provided for how securely attached people communicate. I'm better about saying no when I am spent. I show empathy because that is how I feel often times, not because I want something in return. I don't get defensive. At times I am comfortable being alone, but that is something I am still working on, along with many other aspects of being securely attached. This is all to say that I appreciate this video very much, as someone who recognizes that I could be a better version of myself and does not wish to let my anxious attachment hold me back. My anxious attachment I believe arose from an experience where I was harassed and lost an entire friend group at the same time freshman year of high school. That situation still has affected me to this day, and I don't want that experience to define my life. I know I can be better, and I want to do better.

As I got off the phone with my boyfriend questioning him where he had been , feeling extremely anxious , your video popped up right in front of my RU-vid page . I had to watch this , you liltery describing me to the core . Every single personas you are laying is about me . I appreciate the universe and you have brought my issue to the surface so I can be aware and keep on pushing on my healing journey . It is not easy , but I know I’ll make it through . And I will give myself the validation , selflove , care that I , myself , my body , my soul deserve . Thank you again . God bless you .

Anxiously attached man here. Yes, we exist 🙃 From a personal note, I want to say that I believe men in this category have a very hard time in the first stages of a relationship (such as flirt), because this needy "please love me" attitude, and thr low self esteem that this indicates, is an absolute downer for most women. After crossing this boundary, though, things can get less stressful.

wow you’re spot on. I’m working on myself and will be more secure. I wasn’t always so anxious and I’m tired of living like this. I’ve been fighting to stop falling back into anxiety

thank you for this 🥺

This video hits me. I’ve been struggling anxious attachment for many months now. I have to really work on myself because my bf is trying his best to make our relationship work. I have been self-sabotaging. I thought I was alone feeling this way. But it’s good to understand my own emotions and hear advice on how to overcome it. I love this video ❤

I watch this video like 3 times a day now and it’s helped as I start my journey to becoming secure

Thank you so much for this insightful video. Sadly, my husband passed away very suddenly and unexpectedly a little over a year ago. We had been together for 22 years and I had been with him since I was only 18 years old, so he was the only relationship that I had my entire adult life from 18 to 40 years old. Almost 5 months ago, I met and started seeing an amazing guy. We met on an online dating site and I never in a million years expected to meet anyone like him. Ever since we met, we have spent almost every single weekend together (the entire weekend) and we text every single day during the week when we're not together. I have fallen VERY hard for this guy and I am definitely experiencing an insecure attachment style. I find myself getting anxious when he takes a while to respond to my texts and constantly worry about what our weekend plans are going to be and if he's going to want to get together. It REALLY stresses me out! I constantly worry that he is eventually going to lose interest in me and not want to see or talk to me anymore, when he has given me absolutely NO reason to feel this way. He has been nothing but consistent this entire time. He texts me every single day and he's spent every single weekend with me for the last almost 5 months. The only 3 weekends we've missed were the ones right after his 19-year-old dog passed away, then right after his mother passed away 2 weeks following his dog's passing, and then one weekend about a month ago, where he just had so much to do at home because we have been going away together every weekend. Aside from that, we've spent every single weekend together and ALWAYS have an amazing time. We haven't had a bad time yet, so I don't understand why I feel so anxious and insecure in this relationship or why I have all of these unfounded fears. He has never once hurt me or broke my trust and has been so consistent with his daily communication and spending every weekend with me. I really need to find a way to become more secure, confident, and relaxed and enjoy what we have, because it really is amazing and FUN!

I had no stability growing up, my Mom sent my sisters and I away we all were separated, some to family members & to close friends .. Going to different schools, losing friends, making friends .. As I was listening to you, it hit me, yes, I had to be validated, and heard 24/7, once I felt that secure feeling after talking with my boyfriend, it's like I felt like at ease, secure again. So not healthy 🤦🏻‍♀️

Everything you described as someone with anxious attachment is everything I do/say/feel. I don’t know how I got here but I need out.. I’m hurting myself over and over

Damn this is hard, i got really emotional watching this. I got anxious attachment because he actually hurts me when i actually am secure in the first place.

When you said that if you had a secure attachment style your life would have been different, that hit so hard. My anxious attachment took me on a ten year journey of struggle and suffering. If only I could have had this then!

I used to be anxiously attached until a devastating relationship with a narcissist and now I'm fearful avoidant. Looking forward to the obsessive dive into healing

Wow. I honestly feel like this is one of the most important videos I've ever watched in my life. This helps me make so much sense of the pain and unhappiness I have been perpetuating in my life over and over. I've been so confused not understanding why nothing is getting better for me. Now I finally see it and I can begin to correct it. Thank you❤️🙏

I would say do your best to heal your anxious attachment and also realize that it is so important to find a good match. The right man will not mind you being anxious and seeking validation SOMETIMES. Learn to spot avoidance red flags and untrustworthiness in potential partners early on. If I had seen and recognized the red flags early on (first date he was LATE!) I would have spared myself much heartache. However I do not regret the relationship as it taught me so much.

Wow. It's like getting described by someone who understands things that i haven't talked about to anyone. Thank you for this breakdown of the attachment style. I remember myself as being very vibrant, energetic, abd confident kid until i became 12 years of age and saw my parents fighting. Got into severe depression and started to cling to people. But now that i see the problem, solution is crystal clear. ❤

I am so tired of feeling this way!!!

Learning about people who emotionally abuse others, narcissists, made all the difference for me. Much love and light sent to all you good souls❤