What to Do When a Loved One Won't Accept Help for Their Mental Health Problem 

@clumsyella8331

so sad. in the same situation

yes I wish there was more that could be done too.

@Thomas S Not the answer, but pills sometimes make people go back to a state of mind in which they are better able to consider therapy. A suicidal episode is a lapse of the mind, they’re not right in the head. Logic doesn’t work and they can’t snap out of the trance on their own. Your brain is a physical organ and sometimes it’s not doing well. You take painkillers for muscle pain, what’s wrong with taking meds for your brain if it’s not working properly?

I got problems and would never take meds. I don’t want to be on trans all the time. Plus you kill your kidney or liver and you never know damage long term. In my opinion meds usually treat the symptom and not the condition.

So hard to sit and see a bunch of athiest believe in meds and doctors instead of believing in God and Jesus for healing

Same here man I'm just tired of it

I relate, caring for a loved one can make you become mentally ill if there is no support system

Oh gosh love, it’s the story of my life too! I think at some point you have to let go and « respect » their decision. I have seen my mum refuse every diagnosis, reject medication, been comitted to asylums so many times just to relapse. It’s an emotuonal strain on everyone and it’s become a financial burden too as she cannot work and is unreliable in her illness. I have chosen tondistance myself even though I still financially suppor her from afar. It’s really hard and there aren’t many people who you can talk to about these things unfortunately. I wish you all the best of luck, my inly advice is to try to live for yourself and not live with the guilt of finding happiness ♥️

I’m so sorry to read that… 😭I’m going through something similar with my brother… I had to force him into the hospital in 2015 because he was in a drug induced psychotic state. He is still mad at me for that but now it’s even worse… he was good for a while but now he has relapsed and I fear for his life. He doesn’t want to go back to the hospital, doesn’t want to go to rehab, refuses to take medication

I can fully relate and my empathy and understanding is there too. There is a history with my sister spanning over 40 years. Watching her ruin her life with chronic OCD and my mum her carer. Why they don’t want help is beyond me. It’s really really heartbreaking watching people you love suffer especially when there is help out there.

i am currently at the hospital watching these videos to help me cope with the fact my mom is entering a mental facility. good luck to you too!

same here, hardest thing ever and its been an elephant in the room with our family for years. sending you love❤️

Thanks so much for the good wishes! And you, don’t give up!

Prayers for you 🙏 ❤.

Best of luck I’m also trying to cope with this reality aswell everyone stay strong 💪 ❤

The delusions you're talking about can reach much more dangerous levels the longer they go unaddressed, especially if there's any big life changes that take place in between. Try to get some support from their family and friends. If they have good parents, they'll be receptive and have an idea about what could be going on as there may be some history that will help to inform your current predicament. They all might be able to help convince your partner to seek help, and it's important you're all supportive and aligned on that. Additionally, it's vitally important for you to have support as well. Take a weekend to spend time with friends to clear your head. One step further is going to see a couple's therapist that y'all pick out together. It'll take time to establish rapport (at least 3-4 sessions), but it would benefit you both to have an unbiased person to speak some light into the relationship. Especially if there's mental health involved, the therapist will be an extra layer of encouragement to seek help.

That’s exactly what I have happening with my wife that was diagnosed with schizophrenia among other mental health issues 7 years ago. She has had a coy delusional episodes but the current one has me as the target. One day out of nowhere she packed up and left at 3am and went to stay at her family 800 Miles away. At first she was calling everyday and acting somewhat normal. Then after 4 weeks gone she suddenly decided to stay away for good. She will not speak to anyone about why she is doing all this. Lately she text me not to contact her anymore. Now I find out she is retaining a family law lawyer! It’s absolutely bizarre! Her own family don’t know what her reasons are. What a situation to be in when a person will not even speak to anyone about it and it threatens to wipe out our finances too. You are helpless when the ill person will not acknowledge that they are experiencing delusions and won’t agree to seeing a mental health professional.

Omg this is happening to me (22yrs) as well with my sister (26yrs)! 😭it sucks because my family and I know that she needs help and she keeps denying it. How do you help an adult get help when they don’t want it?! And how do I deal with this constant issue of her thinking I’m wishing bad on her and the whole world is out to get her? Im from NJ is there anything I can do at this point? She does not work either and lives with her bf in another town and she comes here to visit whenever she feels that we are not against her but now she’s having another episode and she won’t admit to needing help.

Yes this is exactly what I’m going through with my husband! I need help

@@ABar83376 I am also going through this with my husband. He thinks he’s gods best friend and trumps best friend. He also is spending all our money because he thinks he’s winning the lotto. He has restraining orders. Apparently god told him he was marrying another woman. She didn’t know him, he stalked her. He says my spirit is choking him. He said god wanted him to go on vacation and left us for a month. He went to visit water parks to get ideas to build gods magic kingdom. I cry daily and now his mental health is taking a toll on our family. I’m paying a lawyer to get guardianship of him, financially and medically. This way he has to take antipsychotic medication. I resent him and am at the end of my rope with him.

My therapist told me that im in a constant state of fight or flight because of my schizophrenic sister.

Finally a common sense approach. Absolutely respect their autonomy and realize that you have your own autonomy.

True

What will an alone n helpless life if no one supports??, Schizophrenia made my decision power totally zero😭😭😭

Very hard

Not an option to leave them to their own devices. They do not have the ability to make decisions on their own when their brain is disabled. Do you leave a person with severe Autism alone? Or how about someone who has cerebral palsy? What about someone with down syndrome? Why are they getting all the help, but not someone whose brain lacks the ability to see reality, which in turn makes them unable to take care of themselves or put a roof over their head? They need help or they will die, period, either by homelessness, no food, no shelter, or if someone takes advantage of them.

Where did she have to go? I’m sorry to hear that 😢

The worst is when there are two or more in the same house. Some symptoms I have seen can borderline psychopathy. These are dangerous people who will stalk your spouse or cause problems because they simply know no boundaries. Some one I knew died because despite my warnings he did not take his spouse's problem seriously. It isn't worth sticking around if you can move away. Safer to leave. They can't help themselves, if even for a time they look like they understand. Ever have a relative speak to you as if you were not a family member? Like you are the outsider just because you don't have their problem? I can only assume that these problems are tied to DNA somehow, and will skip some generations or one sibling is fine while another is unfortunately schizophrenic or even some are born sociopathic or even worse is both problems combined. Be with those who really love you. And be safe guarded with your feelings around abusive people. Its really tough. It is so incredibly sad. But we have to be thankful we are not the ones with the problem, and get back to living and moving forward with the rest of humanity. I have to remind myself constantly not to let my heart strings get pulled. And it is painful. But live your life. It is short and too precious to waste. Peace, V.

God I can relate to this story so much but put alcohol in with my mums mental illness too. She burned our home down 😢😢😢

My husband doesn't see how bad his symptoms are at all. Total denial. He sounds a lot like your mom too. I just wish there was more I could do but deep down I know it will get to crisis point

@@sare2007 omg , i feel so much for you. 🥲🥲🥲

I gotta ask... would you like to receive treatment your self? I agree with your mother, doctors don't know what they are doing...all psych treatment is gross negligence and abusive....

It's the same as this video really, you can't force people to see or do anything. The best one can do is present educational videos, especially pertaining to family life and if comfortable with it doctor records, and try to get them in for therapy sessions if possible. If they still deny things, the only other thing is to access if this affects the relationship negatively or not. As in have you communicated thing with them, do they ignore this communication and purposefully do things? Don't blame them, but rather learn to limit interactions even. Try to figure out safe spaces to decompress in.

Oh boy does this one ring loud and clear to me. I see our housemate go through cycles of delusion almost every week and we can do nothing about it but stay out of his way and let it peter out. We have had to set some very stern and clear boundaries with him, but he will break them after a few weeks. He's a manipulative little shit and it drives me absolutely crazy but I know it's his illness.

I no.....there needs to b new laws to get treatment...my daughter has schizophrenia and needs treatment right now...she just today broke her big sliding door, cabinet and closet door as well as punching me in face couple weeks ago....I LOVE HER SO MUCH ....ill never give up but i agree its so very frustrating..

@@ChildofGod-q7j they can be put into involuntary treatment temporarily if they are a danger to themselves or others. It is called a baker act and you need to go to your local court and get an emergency ex parte/baker form as well as call any appropriate authorities and ask for someone trained in a mental health crisis. Like they mentioned in the video above if you or your loved one is in danger dial 911 and they may baker them for you.

It sucks being the loved one on the outside, but imagine what it is like on the inside. We ask them to stay around for us, but what is it really like for them? My partner has breakthrough symptoms and they're no different than being off the medications. He's been monitored and he's been admitted in before. The last thing you want to do is betray their trust and force them to do something they don't want to do, especially considering how their minds works. It's easy to distort reality and it cannbe hard to convince it to see reality. My partner took the time to explain how it makes him feel. He said, "How can someone see a living being suffering and ask them to still live in it? They constantly say things like 'At least they aren't suffering anymore' when someone dies from physical suffering. They can easily take their pets in feeling bad for their suffering and put them down without questions, but when a person that is seriously suffering mentally wants to die, it a sin and cowardly? Do they not understand that when you are mentally and emotionally in disorder, it is also cause physical suffering too? What gets me is that people don't want to endure the suffering of the loss,I understandnit's tough, but they don't see or think about what the person suffering from mental illness is actually going through, has been for (in his case) life, and will be enduring just by remaining alive." How can I try to put my own feeling and thoughts over his like it is actually better? It's a fair question presented. I'm not saying suicide is the option for anyone suffering to take, but when we ask people to not kill themself when dealing with mental disorders, what are we asking them? What soes they play on their psyche other than that we really don't understand their suffering? How humane is it really? I can't even imagine what it is like in that skull. From the outside, it's both deep and beautiful, but it's also so deep it terrifying at times. I just keep loving him and doing things that gently ground him back when he's in tangent. I listen well and then I find ways to take what he is talking about and place positive thoughts back into it without actually dismissing what he expressed and feels.

Betraying their trust and forcing them to things they don't want to do can make things much worse and even be a reason they get pushed over the edge and commit. Many already feel lonely and this type of act can make a lot of them feel solidified in that lonely misunderstood place. It's just important to remember what the actual experience is like being the person with the disorder! Being more understanding or learningto be understanding in all ways is key to help navigate it in a more positive fashion for both yourself and especially the one suffering with the disorder.

​@childofgod2758 OMG I'm so sorry. PLEASE keep yourself safe. That is NOT ok to be abused.

Thank you for this! My own father blames me for my son’s Mental Illness. So tragic.

My 45 years old daughter blames me for hers and my 28 years old grandson's mental illness he suffers from schizophrenia, anxiety, depression since he was 14, she was diagnosed too with bipolar and schizophrenia, pstd. Grandson refuses any medical care and mental health care. I have helped them a lot for years I'm exhausted, physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially. I'm 65 I gave up 2 years ago removed myself from the toxic that was ruining my health, my daughter would tell me to go get mental help even begging, I started to believe I was the problem not doing my best until I called the local crisis services department now I know that removing myself from this toxic situation is the right thing to do, I can not do any more to help them, I need mental therapy yes but for my healing from their abuse whether they realize they are being abusive or not.

@@gb9515 I`m very sorry you`ve been through all of that. I really hope that things will get better for you soon. I wish you all the best.

Amen!! ❤🎉

Blaming others for your mental health is WRONG! Yes they blame others which highlights their internal disorder struggles, their inability to regulate their feelings/emotions! This is when we have to learn what true compassion/love non self-centeredness really means which will then give us the insight wisdom and stop our suffering allowing us to least support stand by them or else we risk losing them.

Amen. Don't I know. I am in the same situation. My thoughts are with you.

Facts it is the worst thing that has happened to our family

You're absolutely right.. there is absolutely nothing anyone can do especially if the person is refusing help.. and sometimes their actions hurt you but you can't hold them accountable because they are "ill" and hence they are always the victim.. I'm not even refering to severe cases like psychosis because that one is understandable.. but as for mental conditions where one is still in touch with reality and but just isn't willing to get the help they need

I feel like that

I was laced aswell how is he keeping now it really messes your brain up

Hope you’re doing better. You are not alone in this frustration. Thanks for sharing as it helped me.

When that happens call 911. Make it very very very clear that he has mental health issues. Not sure if he has a proper diagnosis but if so, be sure to specify it.

@@tea_fran what's the best way to get a diagnosis when the person refuses to admit they have issues ? It's very difficult and scary because getting the authorities involved may cause a worse problem. Very tricky indeed.

@@tea_fran call 9/11 so he can get shot by coppers? I bet when she says "violent" she just means verbally abusive women love playing the victim

im so sorry youre in this hard situation 😕

IM GOING THROUGH THIS ALONE N CANT RECOVER,IM IN VV WORSE TORTURE😭😭😭,

I could have written this, but for my mom. I think I’ve figured out why she hoards junk (also literal garbage, like fast food containers, junk mail, piles of stained and ripped clothing etc.). I believe that she is mentally assigning those objects as part of her identity. Her identity is so fractured due to mental illness, she only knows herself when she keeps these objects nearby. What I mean is when she starts to have a break from reality, she brings herself back through those objects. It’s possible she found herself without belongings or deprived of her belongings and was unable to calm herself without them. She now goes into a panic at the thought of taking her trash out. She has now locked everyone out of her home and refuses to allow visitors into her home. Since the pandemic, she rarely leaves. I’m really worried that something terrible is going to happen to her if she doesn’t get help. She refuses all offers of help. You can’t force help on an American adult unless it’s ordered by a judge. Since she’s not in legal trouble, this hasn’t happened.😢

Did he get help? I’m going through the same things. You have any tips for me.

bless you and im praying for you. ❤

Aw Jen I’m so sorry. I have a similar issue with my mum who has been evicted several times but also refuses my help, makes the worst friends and weasels money out of me.. The hardest thing is to let go..

Consider how your pushy behavior might be contributing to things. Believing you have the right control him and interjecting yourself in his life, can certainly be causing him a lot of stress.

Years ago after starting an anti-psychotic I began to feel termites gnawing the vertebrae in my back. So I stopped the medication and the termites went away.

I’m going through this same thing but please don’t give up. Jesus loves you and it will get better.

God creates difficulties because they are what makes us grow.

@@sambland3903 God does not create that would be cruel,he only allows

The moment you reject God satan takes over your thoughts.

You are not alone

My Alternate Reality thank god i live in a country with a national health service... also as an american don’t let anyone bullshit you onto thinking your insurance system is better than a free at the point of use service.

How did you convince the person that they have mental illness? I’m desperately seeing help for my sister but she’s in denial. Please any suggestions would be welcome.

It's a waste of time and money to treat mental health

How does talking reverse Schizophrenia?

I hope it went well for you girl. My wife and I are in the very same situation with our current house mate who is renting a room from us. We also live in the house. We have had to ask him to leave so he will be gone in 6 weeks. Thankfully he is non violent but he is incredibly deluded. He is convinced doctors removed parts of his brain and put implants into his head to keep him sick and controlled. He also lines the inside of his clothing with tin-foil to protect himself from microwave beams. Oh...and he thinks he can prevent natural disasters and wars by asking Priests to say Mass...but only if he asks. Religiosity and Schizophrenia are such a bad mix but sadly often go hand in hand.

How did you talk to them

Steve Vest , thanks you . I was about to put that as a comment.

God love you John. Man reading your post was tough. I really hope things are looking up for you brother. love and light to you

It's best to leave nothing u can do but protect yourself!

Sounds similar to my situation. I'm 51 my sister is 41. Her anxiety and depression make it very difficult to maintain a good honest relationship with her. I always have to be careful with what I say to her to avoid upsetting her. It is exhausting.

Same here, 63 with younger sibling. Struggling with mediating between a loving but enabling elderly mother, and other siblings that cannot deal with him at all. It can be tough indeed.

@@Doxymeister I was suffering from mental illness for 10 years all thanks to baba okoloise who helped me out of it I'm really grateful if you need his help contact him on WhatsApp I believe it can also help you + 234 90230 07059

@@lawrenceflora2034 Thank you, I will pass that on!

I'm so sorry, I've been through a similar situation and I know how hard it is seeing the people so close to you in such a bad place like that.

i’ve experienced something similar. either call the police, get them institutionalized, or just run away and never look back

I am agree with you Ray's dad. my daughter 34 years old graduated from college several years ago, the medication gave her side effect, now she's having hard time to walk and a lot the pain in her body. but the good thing she has positive thinking to have better life. then a year ago started going back to school taking graduate business class also working part time and went to school computation about business, she won first price. she has been eating good nutrition food but she stop taking her med though few months ago because her condition in her body not doing good. two days ago she has episode. she thinks somebody will hurt her. she lives by her self. she doesn't want to talk to anybody or for us to help her.she quit her school few days ago and part time job. i am very sad right now thinking about her. the Gov. dont understand whats going on with our loves one, she been trying to get their support but didnt get it. they ( GOV. ) need to make better medication for this kind of illness not to make them worst ( destroy their body).

@@ratnacook56 Bless you for the love you continue to share with your child.

Depends on the disease. Diseases that cause psychosis in particular often lead to an early death because they often get worse with time and it eventually makes the ill person unable to function in society, or even accept their family's love. Meds may not "cure" the underlying disease, but it the right meds will help the symptoms, which prevents things from getting worse. Psychosis is horrible because the brain knows something is wrong so it literally goes into a constant state of fight or flight, and that kind of stress can only go on for so long before it permanently destroys a person's mind and body. Think of what war does to a person, and that is literally the level of stress that a person undergoing psychosis is feeling inside, even if everything looks ok from outside. Except unlike war a person us unable to escape from their own mind. I have an acquaintance that was allowed to remain untreated for years and they're basically been reduced to living off of people's limited charity because they're so sick they think that health insurance companies and social security benifits are part of a conspiracy to take away their credentials and prevent them from paid work. (Which they are unfortunately unable to maintain anyway). They currently live on the streets in the cold and experience violence (including a past episode of sexual assault) because they think that shelters and programs will hurt them. They can't really go to their father or other family because think their family is being paid millions of dollars to spread rumors about them to keep them from being able to spread God's will. This is unfortunately not something that a family can love a family member out of. As to people suggesting religion, telling people in a crisis that what they need is God is flat out naive given how frequently people this sick have religious delusions and/or straight up hallucinations where they think they are talking to God. I have nothing against religion as a whole and it's actually helped me out during dark times, however it's also hard to help someone when they think it's God themself saying to do irrational and/or dangerous things, and the sick person will never understand the natural consequences that follow because it's God's will to do the irrational thing. Quite frankly a sick enough person is going to be unable to understand the natural consequences that follow actions and learn from them in any case. Meds or therapy, as imperfect as they are, are the only hope of suppressing the symptoms and getting their life back. It's just a matter of finding the "right" ones. Otherwise they're just going to destroy their lives until their luck runs out and they get hurt or worse.

No way! That is so interesting. I wonder do the same rules apply in Ireland!! I wish. Our housemate is leaving in 6 weeks. We had to make up an excuse that we needed the bedroom for a family member who was moving in because he is just too much. We did not sign up for this shit. It may sound selfish but he is not family and he is in total and utter denial. I have never met a more arrogant and covertly narcissistic person in my life. He has had GP's tell him he needs mental health support, and one GP even called the Police who showed up at our door but he wasn't in at the time. They never returned despite me calling them 3 times to tell them that he was home. They probably don't want to have to deal with it, and once they know he is not violent towards himself or us they don't care. He is just going to keep doing the same old thing, and blaming everybody else for the dissatisfaction he has with his own life until he wakes the hell up and gets help. The problem with our housemate is that he thinks he is smarter than everybody else. He won't listen to doctors because he believes he already knows that he has implants in his brain. I swear, I am not a stupid person and I can hold my own in a discussion, but whenever we end up in debates he always just says 'Oh well I studied this in college and I am qualified so I know more' And I am thinking Oh please, so you have studied psychology, neurology, osteopathy...the list goes on and on for all the claims he has made. It's a joke.

It's also inhumane to assume that they don't understand their reality and remove their ability to choose. Sometimes you have to accept that there are no right answers, other than their basic human right to bodily autonomy. Our society is also horrible to lock people up in prison like facilities, surrounded by people who treat them like animals rather than showing an ounce of compassion/trying to understand their unique perspective and suffering.

🙏🙏🙏

Then this idea of independence you’ve incorporated as part of your identity is self-limiting. Independence is only a virtue if it’s preceded by a sufficient level of dependency. For example if I was to try learn piano independently , that’s to say, without depending on a textbook or teacher then I’m limiting my rate of learning and thus growth. In this respect my insistence on learning independently does me a disservice. No one is truly independent. We stand on the shoulders of those who came before us. Being dependent is the first step to becoming sufficiently independent in *any* field. Peace ✌️

My dad was recently diagnosed and his main focus of his delusions is my mom and I , saying that we’ve changed his phone / messed with it , and changed his settings . It gets scary and hurts to know that he’s going through this. He even cries just cause he thinks we are messing with him :(

My mom is diagnosed schizoaffective and this is something I have to battle with her everyday. It’s hard because the resources are so limited on it and it’s so easy to feel alone when you’re trying to help someone tackling this. Especially when they’re attacking you😕

My ex is now in jail, I tried everything to get him help but he refused. The hospital won’t even hold a person longer than 72 hours unless they’re showing “severe signs” but most people are able to hide it & manipulate them. He was becoming more manic & violent and pointed a gun in my face demanding I give him a name of who was following & listening to him, it was terrifying. I was able to run outside to the neighbors & he came out shooting. Thankfully nobody was hurt & he was arrested. He really needs treatment & medication which unfortunately he won’t get in jail but at least he can’t hurt himself or others.

@@hollyroxy25 omg that is so heartbreaking. I’m so sorry that you had to go through that. Seeing a loved one battle a mental illness of that gravity is extremely difficult to watch. I’m happy you both are safe though, and just know you are not alone❤️ sending love your way❤️

@@hollyroxy25 umm.. that’s not true… you need to get the jail social service involved ASAP and make sure he is getting the correct meds and the correct amount . You need to make sure he has a lawyer and his lawyer gets involved immediately . Otherwise his mental health will get even worse x100 and he will be put in a concrete room without windows and kept there alone with no human contact. Get a lawyer and make sure they transfer him to a mental health hospital not jail!!!!

Going through this issue with my brother at the moment, he is completely delusional and refuses help of any kind, has been hurt whilst trying to hurt others, believes the whole world is watching him like the Truman show movie, we've tried everything and had him sectioned multiple times, they just release him and he's back at it again the next day, I understand it's not his fault but is destroying our family, can't understand how a person with these issues is allowed to be put back in society causing havoc every other day, nothing we can do but watch him self destruct and it's killing us all to witness it, I am completely astonished when he is released from hospital just because he can refuse to accept he has a problem, don't know what to do and just want my own life to end at this stage

🙏🙏🙏

@@sallyvasquez6897 😊🙏🙏

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Good luck! I'm in the process myself!

@@summersalix Ha no way?, its a small world.

Why Canada? Is it a good place for Heath care?

@@FunFantasticFacts Healthcare?, no idea, my friend is there.

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No. You have a moral responsibility to act and there are systems in place to assist you when a person has lost the ability to care for themself. It’s called self endangering due to their delusions. Call Adult Protective services and a social security attorney.

@@Georgeanne17 Its not easy as it sounds, if they are adults, you first need to acquire guardiaship and that alone cost lots of money, social security process takes a long time and requires history of treatment, most people with mental health conditions refuse medication due to bad side effects.

@@Georgeanne17 literally my mom is going through this and the doctors gave me paper to file a mental health civil agreement the system is messed up !! My mom have hallucinations psychotic episodes ! We have called police and they do nothing !!!!

@@johndoeredfeather9600 I agree it is a process and if there is a severe case, it can be expediated. I am undergoing this nightmare too. I have found several resources and I deeply feel for anyone undergoing this difficulty. I believe our laws are flawed but there are loop holes. It depends on your state. If anyone lives in Oregon and needs information, please message me. Meanwhile, Look into getting a team to meet the person in an intervention and hold the person for a 2 week involuntary hospitalization might help. This is allowed in Oregon.

@@kayawalters1326 The police cannot help. If you call them ask for officers trained in mental health. They will likely submit them to a psychiatric unit. There could be a 72hr hold. If this person is endangering them self and shows self neglect they can be taken in longer into a involuntary hospitalization. Meanwhile call NAMI for a behavioral center where a director can tell you what to do and how to expedite their care through health insurance or SSI.