To add to this: his paranoia about his family potentially noticing the towel and associating it with the same thing he does is very scary. Like it's very much giving the family is racist and he's trying very hard to make them accept the GF. Might be reaching here but there's a lot to unpack.
i have a white bf and he literally puts my bonnet on my head when i fall asleep. i stay at his parents house and they always returns my microfiber towel back to my room no problem. he lets me talk about any black issue i want even if he unfortunately doesn’t understand (rn it’s mielle smh) to hear this man did that to her is disgusting and him playing victim in the end is so typical. i’m glad she handled the situation the way she did.
As a mixed woman; your commentary on this is so spot on. We need these conversations of including mixed people's perspectives into social commentary! I love this and live for your content
one of the biggest fears i have around dating outside of my race is that the racism from my partner would be so covert that i didn't realize it until after i wasted so much time and energy being with them (like can you imagine finding out that your race was secretly an issue for your partner your entire relationship after you give them biracial children) i would be mortified and feel so guilty - sometimes i wish we intergrated differently so that i could tell a wolf in sheeps clothing so to speak - please tell me i'm not alone in feeling this way 🥲
Literally why do people care so much about things that affect them in no way shape or form. Let your gf do whatever makes her happy, and taking away whatever that might be because it might embarrass YOU?!? grow tf up, she better have broken up with him
As SOON as that post started being read I shifted in my seat. Bc I already knew. I grew up with my mom bussing me to predominantly yt schools and have vivid memories of uncomfortable conversations about my hair, or the foods that I brought for lunch or even my uncles pimped out Cadillac that he would drop me off to school in sometimes. The thought of having a partner that could potentially give me those feelings of discomfort… UGH! I feel awful for that young lady. 🥺
If you try to make your partner change something about themselves so your family won’t think it’s weird, you don’t like them. Accept them for who they are or don’t. The towel bugs you, how would they even have known? I’m glad she picked up on what he was doing and took some space for herself. Her reaction leads me to assume that maybe this isn’t the first time something like this has happened
First off, why were they so bothered by a microfiber towel?! I totally think the point of his actions is that he doesn't want the afro American side of her to be seen or shown. ( I answered my own question)
I love how you addressed that this isn’t you putting another creator down at first I was like ouuu tea and than I was like ouuu respected tea nice 👍🏼 ❤😊
I love two hot takes and so happy you came to talk about this story. I’m sure Morgan and the rest of the gang really appreciate the education that was provided here
Clicked in the video expecting some drama but left a little bit more educated on a subject that I don't know much about (I'm a white woman). It's so important to see the issue being discussed by the people who get it and are affected by it, it gives a perspective that isn't clear at first for white people. It's crazy, and so sad, how racism can be disguised for so long. There are so many cases like in this story where the relationship lasts for years before the person realizes the racism in their partner. Really enjoyed the video, new follower for sure!
Oooh this makes me angry. Thanks for diving into it and sharing your insight. He subconsciously wanted a “passing” women. Making notice of her low maintenance hair and acting like an idiot in regards to what does race have to do with it? Idk why her hair needs this towel. Bffr!
As for dating, if black women don't give up dating black men despite failure of those relationships, then it's only normal for them to proceed with the same mindset when it comes to other races of men. But there's also something that women ignore in general, relationships longevity or marriage isn't supposed to be accidental or a secret mission from the woman's part. People should date with intentions and when one wants to date with intention then even where and who they meet reflects that. They aren't trying to kiss a frog and turn it into a prince. So of course, it helps to have people to choose from who are generally respectful atleast with normal basic etiquette to begin with but every group has its own bad apples. Some groups have more than others. And most women usually have a type and tend to pick specifically for that type regardless of race and so they end up with the same result regardless who they date. So sometimes taking time off to look at the commonality among past choices and clarify what one wants or expects can help in making better future dating decisions.
She's mixed so shes not interracial dating she's dating in her race, but I do date outside of my race but I would have handles the situation just like her. I would have gave him the cold shoulder the whole trip and then never talked to him again , just off the fact that he disrespect me and my towel . Maybe its because I'm on the west coast but I meet the moms within a week sometimes.
I can’t understand why the guy was so obsessed with the ladies towel instead of accepting her needing the towel. Even if he didn’t understand. A towel doesn’t cost that much. Even so it probably wasn’t coming out of his pocket. It appears that the towel in his mind either made his girlfriend high maintenance and he didn’t feel she deserves to be allowed that pleasure or he was embarrassed about it. If he really loved her he would’ve not been so bothered by the towel but embraced it. After all it’s just a towel. Don’t we all use one? I dated a guy who was was the same race as me and wanted to present me to his friends a certain way. He made up a story in hopes that I would dress the way he wanted me to instead of asking me if I could dress a certain way. He frequently talked about about the way he thinks women should dress. Yet he never bought me any clothes. Even attempted to throw away a pair of my pants. He was against women wearing pants but it was ok to wear leggings or other “feminine pants.” I see a similarity in character between him, the black guy and the white guy. They were controlling for sure. Another theory about the obsessed towel guy. Perhaps he was a narcissist.
I feel like he purposely left out the fact that she is African-American so that he can feel like they’ll take his side and she’s just tripping about town adding the fact that she may be African-American would’ve gave the story way more context
People have towels they use specifically for their face and their feet. Having towels for the hair specifically is the most normal thing. Some people don't want to use a towel that would potentially have conditioner, shampoo and even hair strands on the rest of their body. Not to mention that microfiber towels dry the hair faster, without wiping away any added moisture like a normal towel would or leave towel material stuck in the curls because its smooth and not brittle like regular towels. But that's not even the point, there shouldn't be an explanation about the towel for it to be acceptable. She has the right to own all the number of towels she wants as long it doesn't interfere with his ability to move around the house and he should respect that.
I would legit never speak to him ever again. As a filmmaker, I'm more dramatic about this than a typical black woman. because of how modular our equipment is, if one single screw is missing, it would potentially mean I can't shoot, or even shoot particular shots. because I'm anal in my professional life, it has trained me to be the same way in my personal life. how you do one thing, is how you do everything. When you couple that with industry peers that have tried to sabotage my work in my early days, and thieves generally. I have a little PTSD, but more than that I'm extremely specific about who I allow in my space. If you can do this with my towel, you can do this with something way more important and sabotage big opportunities in my future. I cannot allow someone like that in my personal space. So for me, this is grounds to never speak to that person again in life. - lol maybe I'll say hi if I see you in public and pretend we are cool. but I legit would never give him any real access to me beyond a "Hi-Bye". In principle, this should be relatable to anyone who works with machinery to produce products.
Speak for yourself. Never dealt with any trifling thing from dating outside my race. If you’re dealing with with trifling black men and trifling non black men, maybe you should pick better men or maybe you’re the problem.
As for dating, if black women don't give up dating black men despite failure of those relationships, then it's only normal for them to proceed with the same mindset when it comes to other races of men. But there's also something that women ignore in general, relationships longevity or marriage isn't supposed to be accidental or a secret mission from the woman's part. People should date with intentions and when one wants to date with intention then even where and who they meet reflects that. They aren't trying to kiss a frog and turn it into a prince. So of course, it helps to have people to choose from who are generally respectful atleast with normal basic etiquette but every group has its own bad apples. Some groups have more than others. And most women usually have a type and tend to pick specifically for that type regardless of race and so they end up with the same result regardless who they date. So sometimes taking time off to look at the commonality among past choices and clarify what one wants or expects can help in making better future dating decisions.
As for dating, if black women don't give up dating black men despite failure of those relationships, then it's only normal for them to proceed with the same mindset when it comes to other races of men. But there's also something that women ignore in general, relationships longevity or marriage isn't supposed to be accidental or a secret mission from the woman's part. People should date with intentions and when one wants to date with intention then even where and who they meet reflects that. They aren't trying to kiss a frog and turn it into a prince. So of course, it helps to have people to choose from who are generally respectful atleast with normal basic etiquette to begin with, which is a good start. But it's important to not idealise and remember that every group has its own bad apples. Some groups have more than others. And most women usually have a type and tend to pick specifically for that type regardless of race and so they end up with the same result regardless who they date. And for the women who had skin colour loyalty and eligibility as primary and sometimes only qualification for men they previously dated, it's not uncommon for them to hold on to that same mindset when dealing with other races of men as well and qualify them based on their colour and end up in the same toxic cycles. This is not to say colour can't be admired but I think in a country like US where black women were demonised and ostracized by their families, and communities for dating other races of men, especially white men to this day. Not in all cases but in many in cases it's a moral duty or an opportunity for black women to keep the black card by showing how they will date black men no matter. The black card black men can never lose regardless who they date. In African countries where the families and the women look at their direct benefit and where men are still expected to carry the communities. Everyone is interested in the man's ability to protect, provide and religion similarities. The richer, the better because then the dowry will be bigger for the families and the daughter will live comfortably. Regardless if she works, 50-50 isn't done, the woman's money isn't considered and some men will even proud themselves for not requiring of their wives' salary. And this mindset encourages women to pick from the best candidate regardless of race and even gives them an opportunity to flex to have found the highest bidder. And I think both Asian and white women do the same, they pick the best man even if that includes dating or marrying another race. Of course cultures differ, but I believe if black American women want to change their community then they have to ensure they have happy families. And having a happy family starts with not settling but choosing the best partner for oneself. A society with broken and dysfunctional relationships produces broken children who become toxic adults and the community never improves. Of course interracial marriages are generally a minority regardless of race. However, I believe this should be the case because people usually find their perfect matches among their own people, and many do. Not because of reluctance for other reasons. Atleast, ideally So, sometimes taking time off to look at the commonality among past choices and clarify what one wants or expects can help in making better future dating decisions.
