WHAT WOMAN WANT IN A HUSBAND? - EP 19 || BITTER TRUTH SHOW 

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You need to have a group of couples who are aged 40+ with 10 years minimum marriage experience each, then you might learn something about what it takes to be married

For a conversation such as this, you need brothers and sisters who have been married 10 year plus and mature.

"Keep expectations low make Dua for the best." I think that's a great theme for this video it hits home.

I think seeing your Husband praying Salah, reading Quran and making Dua makes a woman feel so safe and secure knowing that their man is answerable to his Creator ❤

Men lowering their gaze is just beautiful❤

"No high expactations, no dissappointments"

May Allah guide the sister in the middle. It's always more refreshing when Quran is brought into discussions. Sometimes the talks drag on with peoples feelings and whims (which do have their place too), but the Quran is the criterion and should be regularly sought after. I hope the sister comes again and more like her and from brothers side.

I think the better question to ask is what women SHOULD want in a husband? Because it really is that simple: good manners/akhlaq and deen (ofcourse you also have to be attracted to the guy lol). What you want for others is what you should want for yourself so make it your mission to work on yourself and your relationship with Allah, and He will take care of your relationships

Mashallah brother Anas hit the nail on the head. The "core issue" to lack of communication & just abt everything else is lack of "emotional intelligence". Work on your "tazkiyat al nafs" daily, eg-past/present traumas, when you feel you have reached a good place only then you are ready to settle down and commit to a relationship. To anyone reading this it's all about the "nafs". Jzk.

I don't actually like spontaneity, I need to know plans ahead of time so I can mentally prepare myself for it.

Appreciate Ali for representing issues accurately without shying away and to the point,and appreciate sister Amirahs honesty.

A group of 10 people came to the Prophet P.B.U.H to accept ISLAM.He accepted the bay’ah of nine of them but not of one of them. They said, “O Messenger of Allah, you accepted the bay’ah of nine but not of this one.” He said, “He is wearing an amulet.” The man put his hand (in his shirt) and took it off, then the Prophet PBUH accepted his bay’ah. The Prophet P.B.U.H said, "Whoever wears an amulet has committed shirk.” ( Masnud Ahmed 16969 )

This whole situation doesn't look halaal at all to me.

Hold on. So divorcing a woman when she's ungrateful is encouraged but when a woman is being financially abused she shouldn't divorce???

I'm interested in participating in this show (with my husband). If you ever make an episode about choosing reconciliation after getting to the breaking point/divorce. We live in Clearwater, FL.

Hollywood and social media is setting up for unrealistic expectations. Perfect husband or wife doesn't exist. You trust ones foundations and core. The rest of the things you can communicate about or actually let go. Best advice I've ever got when I was dating my husband. One of my friends said to me who was older and not married. That arguing or putting your foot down on every subject isn't gonna work. Choosing your main points that matter to you.

Sister Amirah is really a great person mashallah I am learning so much from her I feel like she understands both men and women as a young Muslim boy living in the west may Allah bless her and all of you

Conclusion: imho: "There is no perfect wife and perfect husband. Mutual respect and understanding" 🤔

As a muslima, who now sees the effects of mass consumerism subhanAllah (companies that fund the zionist state, BlackRock usury to many giant companies, etc) I am compelled to say that we as muslimas shouldn't feel oppressed or disrespected if our man is not able to buy all the shiny duniya stuff, we should instead feel proud of him for working, providing and choosing us to be with him, for choosing us to stand by him for the rest of our lives inshallah. SubhanAllah, the situation in Gaza couldn't be a better example, no man can afford a gucci this mercedes that over there, and yet we respect and admire the EFFORTS that the journalists make for justice. It is the EFFORT that we as muslimas admire, and masculin effort is taking care of the feminity of their wives, preserving their softness and love. That can be helping if you see she gets too tired, it can be a forehead kiss, it can be buying take out, it can be giving a massage, it can be words of appreciation, and most importantly to support her in her deen. A muslimas feminin state is when she is able to comfortably listen to her husband's commands and rules knowing that it is for her own good and not just for his CONVENIENCE. And as muslimas, we need to hype our husband up in all that her does, and give words of appreciation, which shows respect. May Allah guide us all to the straight path ameen.

you can want you want, but buy what you can afford - Kevin Samuels

Important podcast. Good work

SOMEONE BUY THIS GIRL A BOAT!!!!! 😂💕

To add to my comment, while I was searching for a husband, I was picky to the dot when it came to the deen. Ex. If I have to wait a year, there’s no way we will be communicating for a year as it’s not okay. When I got married, every question I didn’t ask (but was important like finances, living space etc) because I thought it was not important, “I don’t want dunya” etc I’ve had to bear the consequences but they were bearable because he has amazing ahlak elhamdulillah. I’ve read the other day even on a video of a brother joking that his wife doesn’t have to ask to go out because she knows she can’t, a sister commented I need this.. this is very troublesome. Look for deen, and AHLAK! Everything else is a bonus.

Ali’s arguments are very valid, because for the most part every marriage that has fallen that I know of around me, has been because their expectations before marriage were not the right ones, and usually believe they can change the other person but instead have to deal with the consequences. Even the abusive marriages. Also, whenever someone is promising too much, believe it is too good to be true, tread wisely.

I enjoyed watching this episode

Keep up the good work Brother Ali.

These conversations are so important, keep them coming! Where are the sisters jilbabs from? They look stunning mashallah

Silence is gold💙

You can have a check list of things you want in a partner, but sometimes you just meet someone who ticks a whole other list that you never made. You discover the qualities you appreciate with your interaction with them.

I love this topic. Thank you brothers and sisters!😊

Mashallah am enjoying the podcast may Allah bless you all

Man when I hear their beautiful accent it brings me regret from moving away from London to Canada at a young age😢

Ali Dawah has become the new Oprah Winfrey show it seems.

I learned alot From this show know your self alot and stay humble

every time i watch 1 of these bitter truth videos about husband and wife, the problem always seems to be because the husband/wife is immature😭😭 If they were mature and thoughtful persons, they would not have problems like these..

اللهم نصرك المبين لعبيدك ومجاهديك في غـــــــــــــــزة العزة، اللهم انــزل عليهم الرحمــات و البركــات، انت نعم المولـى ونعم النصــير.

The sister in the middle.. Mashallah, i'd be interested to hear more about her experiences. I think as a young Muslimah in the UK now thinking about marriage, it'd be more beneficial if there were older and married/ex-married speakers who speak more from experience (I haven't watched other episodes so maybe i'm wrong)

She's right to say divorce. If a man is abusing you. Get out!!!

Brother Ali , all brothers and sisters in shalla Allah bless you all

Brother ali This episode and the previous one have a very bad audio 😅. Please try to solve it.

53:10 This typically won’t happen if the wife shows gratitude and thankfulness to her husband for what she has been given and the lifestyle she is able to enjoy as a result of his efforts. Unfortunately many Muslim women have a very strong sense of entitlement with the mentality that “my husband’s money is my money”, constantly wanting more gifts and expensive things, and comparing their husband to their friends. This type of behavior will of course breed resentment and the type of reaction the sister is talking about.

Sister, It was with Ismail. Jazak Allah Khayr. I love all what you doing.

Great stream👍 The middle Muslima was great, im hoping to find a woman with her personality. I agree with the second Muslima from the left, if its her dream to have a boat and to sail, try and find someone who also likes to sail but be realistic and priorities whats more important. There were lots of great things said, great stream👍

Compatibility and chemistry is needed otherwise its a loveless marriage, its what makes you care about the person in the first place

i ve seen handreads of videos and posdcasts on this topic , and what i can say after 3 4 years of this process is that our generation make the mistake of giving the mic on a topic like marriage to mostly non-married ppl. i ve realised that that is mostly what is leadding to wrong answers and over hiped expectetionq.

Convo was all over the place after 20 minutes

Good job ✊

Generation of me, me, me, me and never we, we, we, we

You should have a learnered scholar on the show, otherwise it's just emotional subjective babble.

A QATTAT will NOT enter paradise, A qattat is a person who conveys FALSE INFORMATION from one person to another with the intention of causing harm & enmity ( Bukhari 6056 )

Broo pls fix ur audio theres always scuffles and background noises every episode and sometimes mic cuts out😂😂

A good faith and character is the 🗝️ girls. Trust me. Everything else is secondary!❤

Dear ahi, please next time we need couples who were married 5+ or 10+ years. I'm also single, i realise that i cannot learn from them anything, sorry🤷🏻‍♀️

May Allah bless our sister Amirah for mentioning about ibrahim as and Ishaq as story. May Allah put loads of barakah in your marriage and children ameen

JazakAllah for bringing a sister who is educated in Quran and deen. Sister Hafsa thank you for being grounded and using Allahs words in this topic. Please have such sisters in future episodes as it gives balance in the discussions between the sisters and brothers.

Five dominant gangster women aggressively confront three passive, submissive men. The host attempts to intervene on behalf of the men, but they remain largely inactive and ineffective in response.

loool wasn’t that hafsa girl arguing with uncle omar about how the prophet muhammed ﷺ wasn’t the last prophet and claiming some mad stuff

I love ali dawah he's speaking facts always ❤

Asalamu alaykum, just to clarify, the ayah the sister quoted on around 1 hour, referring to the fasiq, does not apply to zawaj and marriage. You gotta be careful when you quote ayat that are not specific in topic, this is why lay people should only use ayat that have direct specific content cause this is how the wrong interpretation can be applied. Baarakallahu feekum

Quesiton @AliDawah , im a revert I like your channel but I thought free mixing like this was not allowed / haram. Is there evidence that shows something like this is allowed?

Salam Ali my brother. Why are you enabling this free mixing? If someone can prove to me this is not haram please go ahead. Wallahu a3lam

Yeah this is more like a conversation about their dreams and expectations, most of them will not be realistic and without married couples there with them I doubt they can learn something and be on common ground

To all married couples: watch "A tale of two brains" by Mark Gungor. He's a Christian pastor and I obviously dismissed the Biblical part of his speech, but his explanation of how different men and women are was so helpful for me in understanding my husband and his needs.

This whole episode just made me cringe so bad. Especially the boat girl, everything that came out of her mouth after the boat thing. 😭

The girl who loves the boat cracks me up she’s funny she sounds like she wants to live in lalaland

Assalamu’alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh السَّلاَمُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ

Ma sha Allah Allah Akbar Allahumma baarik Hafsas opening may Allah be pleased articulated a healthy relationship and it resonates with my soul. May Allah bless you all.

Forget a man telling his wife I clothed you and I fed you which is his duty, it’s against basic human decency to even say it to a person that got charity from you which is optional 🤦🏾‍♂️

Women don’t always ask or is straight forward rather they patronise or compare themselves to others in order to get something. This sets the men off and I don’t blame them

Ali is so right!!!! Us women our emotions are all over the place and we say things we don’t mean, but it is obvious what women wants in a man.

I really liked the pragmatic and cautious approach of brother Ali, who reminded all of the sisters and brothers in attendance, that they need to be careful with their words of advice to sisters and brothers who are out there, watching and listening to them, because their words could have dire consequences …

Every parent out there should try the best to keep their kids away from the dating scene. We have lost hayaa ( modesty) through intermingling

What do women want? Everything. What do men want? Peace.

May Allah give us whats best for us. this means not the "best looking" not "the smartest" not "richest" but that which is perfect for you. Allah knows. Ameen

Ali, the ''Coming up Next'' is way to long brother. KISS, keep it short and simple

May allah grant me a righteous husband with akhlaq ya rab .

Spontaneity is nice but it comes amongst the monotonous life you live as husband and wife, can you handle that monotony? Keep each other as team mates, keep a clear objective in life put your families need before your own- you get to an age where happiness comes in pockets but contentment is more realistic

Subhanallah gonna watch the whole thing but From the first 25 min I can already see people need to learn to communicate first. Not assume, not be defensive, aim higher, even when your partner is aiming lower. I genuinely think people need to be painfully transparent with themselves and their partners/family.

Panel appears utterly dominant, almost as if it's showcasing strong, assertive women guiding compliant, yielding men in this episode.

I only watched the first half hour of the video, but it is an interesting topic. BarakAllahu feekum brother Ali and team for bringing up this topic and for your efforts. I do have some insights to add: 1. First off, in terms of spontaneity. It's not that men are used to a mundane life but women are not. It's more like men go out into the outside world, they see experience things, have stories to tell. For women our job is confined to the four corners of our home. Staying home the whole day does get boring, in fact men get bored of it wayyy faster than women do. So that's why women love these surprise outings. 2. Women care about income. This is because the woman will be living according to the guys standard of living, not the other way around. Imagine moving from a first world home to a third world home, where you have to go outside to use the bathroom, there's no hot water and the home is filled with cockroaches and lizards. Running that home 24/7 will be challenging, and especially caring for small children will be even more challenging. That is because it is hard to go from a high standard of living to a lower standard of living, doing this to a woman will make the womans job extremely burdensome. 3. The point about the womans expectations being too high of her man, and women being materialistic. The expectation of woman is not that high, she wants you to be on your Deen, giving her her rights and treat her well. The truth is most brothers complaining about this being too much are the ones who are not on their Deen very well. Because once in a person's heart comes the love and sincere determination to become the best Muslim they can be, Allah makes the other challenges easier for them. They will notice their character improves, they can control their anger, have sabr, become selfless. So they will not say to a womans expectation to be treated kindly, as expecting too much. They will be by the help of Allah, able to meet her rights. But there are very few men like that today, that's why so many complain. And for women being materialistic, some are materialistic and expect materialistic things. Others are not materialistic, they want Allah's happiness with them first and foremost. However in this day and age these women are few. In short both good men and good women are few today, and the lesser men deserve the lesser women, the few God-fearing men deserve the few God-fearing women. So if you see a problem with the women you are interacting with check yourself first, what kind of women am I surrounding myself with? And how close is my relationship to Allah SWT? 4. This is just a bonus tip: people are much better at listening to you and saying yes to you when they are in a good mood. So a good time to express a concern, or talk about something important to you is after having physical intimacy with your spouse. Usually at this time both husband and wife are content and feel closer to eachother. 5. Oh and last point, in the intro one of the brothers was saying a man's bare minimum responsibility is just finanicial support and protection from harm. This is NOT TRUE, Allah SWT commands men to treat wives well, to live with them in kindness and mercy: "...and live with them in a kind manner..." Quran (4:19). Satisfying her sexual desires is also his duty. Hope this helps some of you brothers out there! WAllahu alam

I like your videos because it gives us brothers the chance to get to know different muslim woman and personalities before we marry.

Please put a tall table, please

DO YOU HAVE A FAVOURITE CHILD ❓ Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, 'Be afraid of Allah, and be just to your children.' ( Bukhari 2587 ) The Prophet P.B.U.H said 'Treat your children fairly, treat your children fairly.'"( Sunan an-nasa'i 3687 ) O you who believe! STAND OUT FIRMLY FOR JUSTICE even if it be against yourselves, your parents, & your relatives, or whether it is against the rich or the poor ( Quran 4:135 ) Do not let your HATRED of PEOPLE prevent you from being just ( Quran 5 : 8 Allah does NOT guide the wrong-doers ( Quran 5 : 51) ( If you want Allah's help, then you MUST do JUSTICE )

"You should realise, what you can handle, and what not" brilliant

I see the sister's point of view clearly but let me tell you I agree with with the brothers 💯 per cent. The brothers were asked to bring it and they brought it. What a blessing to see honest men open up. Brother Ali you always bring topics that bless me personally. I believe we need to treat men with love honesty and respect. I have always seen things this way both have to be honest and appreciative like you said. Allah knows best when he put men to lead us, guides us and protect us. I Learned from previous marriages before Islam that there needs to be common ground and understanding my husband's just never saw it this way and to listen to men say the things that I believed in my heart it is a true revelation and blessing that Allah keeps showing me Islam is the place for me.

In Malaysia every muslim needs to attend a government (Islamic dept) marriage course (1-2 days) prior to getting married, and several other requirements (qadi signature, etc). I believe now Muslim NGOs are doing this in the UK. It teaches responsibilities, sunnah, etc in marriage

I don't understand why understanding the women's views is so difficult. All they want is a good husband who also shows that he loves them. What is the problem?

Fact from Brother Ali

Ali I also hold the opinion that the show should host guests that are age 35+. Tecrübe ve bilgin insanları görmek isteriz, çoluk çocuk deyil. Insan sıkıntıya düşünce büyüklerine danışmak ister çünkü onlar görmüş, geçirmiş ve bir çok tecrübeye sahiptirler. Gençlere ve bu nesle hitaben konular işlemen güzel ama çıkan konuklar bence tecrübesiz. Başarılar

*BUZZER BUTTON*: Responding to what sister ameera said about the spontaneous things not having to cost anything, that's all fine and dandy until one or more sisters in a friend group starts yapping about how their husbands took them on lavish trips or got them expensive gifts, and then sudenely the humble spontaneity goes out the window and internal grievances start forming to why you can't have what your friends are having etc etc. Prime example of women saying one thing but wanting/doing another

This is a masterclass in hypergamy from the sisters on the panel.

I’d recommend everyone to listen to the married series by Ali Hammuda

"I've healed", what does your therapist have to say about it?

It kept bugging me that they pronounced "spontaneity" wrong so many times. 😂

Normalizing mixing bro this is not SUNNA !

The one in the middle has one religion, and it’s feminism…

Ali is shocked. 😂 He can't digest there are some men out there who are sooooo stingy and boring. Brother Ali you need to meet them guys. 😏

What is this kind of conversation? Fresh and fit? Audhubillah on free mixing like this, disappointed brother Ali, it would have been better if you did this only as a voice call

When angry that she did something, don't bring up EVERYthing she ever did wrong. And please don’t get big time mad if she makes a simple mistake like not remembering to order olives on the pizza, to the point she locks herself in the bathroom sobbing - and then bang on the door making threats if she doesn’t open it RIGHT NOW.