As a former oncology nurse-and a current chronic pain sufferer with CIDP-I can tell you that Ray was NOT addicted to pain medication in the way your mother or sister were. Ray’s body had become dependent on the medication & had built up a tolerance because it was not adequate. He was not addicted in the sense that he was abusing the medication or using the medication improperly. For pain management with end of life/palliative treatment the last thing the Dr is worried about is whether or not the patient becomes “addicted” to the meds. The goal is simply to keep the patient comfortable & out of pain. I know he & you were probably not ready for hospice those times when Ray ran out of pain meds or insurance wouldn’t cover them, but being on hospice then would have solved those issues. Yeah I now, hindsight & 20/20. Another thing to consider is that while pain medication can certainly change a person’s mood, pain & the disease process itself also a big part in changing a person’s personality. You have (or you should at least try) to stop thinking of Ray’s necessary consumption of high doses of pain medication due to extreme high levels of pain as an addiction. It was anything but. It taints his memory-Ray was NOT an addict! He would never have become an addict; Ray was the antithesis of an addict. Ray was sick. Ray had cancer & was treated with the best our current medical system could offer-including pain management. Don’t let the last couple of months cloud your beautiful memories of your loving, happy, laughing, smiling, kind, fun-loving son. I don’t think there is one person out here who would consider your son to have been truly “addicted” (in the traditional sense) to his pain meds-dependent yes-but not addicted. ❤️❤️
Wow….you explained this so well and as a lifetime migraine headache sufferer I agree with you 100 percent. Ray was not addicted. I pray that Kelly sees your comment and it brings her comfort.
Please be kind to yourself and don't blame yourself for Ray's pain or the pain medication that he needed. You did the very best you could with what you had. You are not a medical professional. You can't expect yourself to know what to do. You were doing the very best you could and Ray knew that. Please don't beat yourself up. You are a truly wonderful mother and a really wonderful woman who cares so much. Be kind to yourself. We are here for you and I'm sending you a big hug and lots of love. Ray knew how much you loved him and he loved you so much. 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Kelly. I watched my mother die of lung cancer almost 40 years ago. I didn’t cry when she passed because she was FINALLY NOT SUFFERING. I felt so guilty because I couldn’t cry. It took me months before I finally cried…not because she died, but because I missed her so much. Give yourself grace in the mourning process.
Linda, I know how you feel. I miss my mother terribly. I miss her hugs and kisses. But I know she is in a better place. I still tell her good-night and that I love and miss her.❤
My mother passed 31 yrs ago to lung cancer...I held her hand and told God she was ready, and she passed....but her meds were not as restricted if my memory serves....🇨🇦
I felt guilty when my prayers asked for loved ones to pass. Beyond hope, I didn't want suffering to continue. We shouldn't feel guilt as their pain is over. That imprint stays with us and when it fades, we grieve in our own way.
Lost my Dad 25 years ago to cancer. Was also glad to see him go. He was told he had 3 months and they were right. He was in horrible pain. Was the most horrible thing I have ever been through. Would not wish it on my worst enemy!! He is with God and in no more pain!!💜😢🙏🏽
I have not seeing any of the comments that she’s apologizing for or the comments that are criticizing her and that might be a good thing they probably were taken down, so was Kelly lovers won’t just bombard their page
Lost my son to cancer and it has shook me to my soul. It's so cruel and horrible. It's been 5 years. I think of him every single day. My heart goes out to you Kelly. Loosing a child is the hardest thing to get thru. The very hardest. What else could possibly be worse. 🌺
If you are offended by anything Kelly says now or later…SHAME ON YOU. For her to feel compelled to make a video to apologize is horrific. This is her journey not yours. I am beyond angry. Kelly has been through enough. Leave her alone and let her speak her truth. JUST STOP IT. Much love and prayers to you Kelly.
That's why I continuously try to reframe from judging. It's hard, but it can be done. It's hard for people to share the storms in their lives and especially concerning a child. God bless her and her family. I am elated to have an audience to this Angels world with absolutely no bias. You're right. People shouldn't judge. God knows all of his children and they will have to give in account for negative remarks and actions. May they repent and apologize.
My heart aches for you, dear Kelly 💔 😢 You deserve every minute it takes for you to speak about your experience. Cry as much as you need to. Ray was YOUR precious son ❤
Rays was not addicted. He needed them. If he did not have pain, he wouldn’t have needed them. I was an oncology nurse for over 20 yrs. I also lost a son to cancer after almost 4 yrs of chemo, radiation and surgery. We had hospice at the end and never ever had to worry about him getting enough medication. He had oxygen, a chest tube and a drain in his liver. He passed at his in-laws home surrounded by family and friends. He was 28. I agree it is the worst to watch your child go through this. I am so sorry for you and your family. Please get any help you can to deal with your feelings. It’s been almost 11 yrs since my son passed and last yr was the worst, maybe because it was the 10 yr anniversary. It hit me like a sledge hammer. I’m better now with help. I can’t say it will the same for you, there is no road map for this. Bless you and your family.
Do you really think Kelly meant it that way.....she is a grieving mother.....trying to say how she feels...politically correct doesn't matter in this situation . Leave her alone .
Thank you for saying this truth. It is hard that one has to go to Walmart for life support. Hospice is a blessing to those whose lives are ending and their families.
Thank you for sharing. My mom was on morphine before she passed so I can relate. The main point is that you kept Ray comfortable to the end. You are a wonderful mom.
Kelly,I’m so sorry to hear of Ray’s suffering and the suffering a Mom and family must endure when our loved one is leaving us in such a painful way. It is your reality and your story to tell. We are here to listen and pray that you find some peace and grace from telling your story. We will be here. Bless you Kelly.
My heart breaks for you and the girls, Kelly. It is so hard to pick yourself up after a loved one passes. I can't imagine how much harder it is when you have to witness cancer ending one's life. I'm grateful for your sharing and thankful for your strength. Know the days don't get easier, they become tolerable. Your RU-vid family loves you and keeps you all in our thoughts and prayers.
This was a living hell for all of you. I can’t imagine the hurt you felt in your heart for him. I’m so sorry Ray and your whole family had to endure this traumatic end.
Sorry for all you and your family had to endure. As a Mother I cannot imagine how difficult it would be to watch your child go through so much anguish. I agree with you about the craziness of dealing with Insurance Companies during such a tragic ordeal. My heart goes out to you all. Kayla looks beautiful. I'm so glad you have your beautiful girls and loving furry babies. ❤
Oh Kelly, as a Mom of two grown sons, I can’t imagine watching your son in pain and struggling to live! You did the best you could by being there for Ray and caring for him. Thank you for sharing the cancer journey with us! I lost my Dad to lung cancer but I can;t imagine losing a child.
As a respiratory therapist, I’ve seen people suffer the way Ray did in his last days, and watched the families struggle through this unbelievably horrific nightmare. I have been retired for 2 years now, and I still have nightmares from it. I’m so glad that you’re able to talk about it now. I hope it is cathartic for you. ❤
I wanted to reach into the screen and hug you. Your strength is amazing Kelly. I know you are reading this and saying "if you only knew." I am human and can only imagine...but God knows. He knows your pain, your struggles, your every tear that you shed...He knows and He cares. He loves you so much. Thank you for sharing your heart, your experience and your son. You are helping so many. Praying for you and your family...for strength, comfort, peace that only He can provide. You are so loved by us all!! ❤
Kellie, I was in tears listening to this. I cannot imagine how much you all suffered. I am so sorry you lost Ray but am glad you aren't having to watch him suffer anymore. Bless you honey. Praying for continued healing for you and the girls.
It breaks my heart to hear what you and the girls went through experiencing all this; and poor Ray. It`s very sad that you lost him as he was months before he passed. You are incredibly brave to recount all this Kelly; I will continue to pray for healing for you and the girls. 💔
It is NOT an addiction when you deal with the level of end of life pain. Please dont look at this so harshly dear. Whenever someone suffers like that i dont see it as addiction to meds but addicted to getting relief from a deep level of pain. Much love to you dear!
@@KimberlyLetsGoShe was not shaming her. She was just explaining that pain is unbelievable And you don't know what they're going through Until you have to face severe pain.
Kelly I truly can’t believe what all of you have been through. I think that you and your daughters were true Angels for Ray. He’s now watching over all of you.
Kelly, you had to endure what words can’t even describe. I experienced a similar helpless time with my sister. You are describing what you and Ray went through so eloquently. I’m glad you’re doing this because we care about you and this will benefit you in the long run. We are here for you. Mimi
I watched my stepdad in hospice gasping for air and his whole body moving with every breath he took. I am so sorry you all had to go through this and especially sorry Ray had to go through it. He was so amazing. I wish I could give you all a hug. TFS
Let's remember "Ray" was scared, angry, fighting a torturous, agonizing death.....I would have taken as many drugs as I could get my hands on, and I'm not addicted to anything ! Rays body was being RAVAGED ALIVE !
Man! Some cancers are just worse than others. I’m glad you had Ray as long as you did but so glad he’s not suffering anymore. He is healthy & whole now. He is with Jesus and at peace. Thank you for your transparency. Still praying for you! Love & hugs!!!❤️❤️❤️
Kelly, talk as much as you want. We are here. We (if you can imagine) are here, with you & for you. We care, we will listen & we will do our best to hold you up & support you. You have endured something that NO parent ever wants to deal with. You are a very, very strong person. Ray was very blessed to have you. ❤
Kelly... I hear what your saying. But if we "knew" all the future course of our battles.. we would no longer have hope to drive us thru the worst of times.... And hope is all we have left sometimes.
As a pain management patient, I understand exactly what you’re talking about. I have had 17 surgeries for endometriosis ( stage 4) and interstitial cystitis ( I have no lining in my bladder so urine acidity is excruciating) it seems like I get to a decent level of pain relief for 6/8 months and then it has to be changed again. It has changed my personality. Sometimes I don’t recognize myself and the things I say. But I don’t abuse the meds because we have a pill count and if you’re called, you have to go to the office and a nurse practitioner will count everything. I sympathize with Ray in this capacity because there’s nothing worse than hearing the insurance denying payment and then you are sick on top of sick waiting to get your prescriptions. Kelly everything you as a mother went through and are still going through shows just how strong and how hard you fought for your precious son. I’m glad you chose to speak about the pain management because there’s a lot of people that never dreamed that diseases could cause them to be addicted to medications that I’ll never be off of unless there’s a medical breakthrough. God bless you for having the strength and humbleness to tell this part of Ray’s story and your families experience.
I’m in the same situation. I don’t abuse mind. With Ray since he was terminal, I don’t understand why insurance denied his medication, so what if he took extra in his last days. I think in the last days they should be allowed to take extra to keep them comfortable. Kelly is a good mom. Thank you for telling your story too. I hope there is a break through for both of us.
PLEASE SHOW MORE COMPASSION AND UNDERSTANDING TOWARDS KELLY (posted on both videos) Kelly shouldn't be condemned for something that she said under her current circumstances. She spoke from her grief, pain, hurt and sorrow. The loss of Ray is still fairly still new to her. She still has a whole lot of mixed emotions going on inside of her. Knowing, realizing, empathizing and truly understanding this, it isn't expected of Kelly to think logically in her current frame of mind. The MAJORITY of us REALLY understood what Kelly REALLY meant. Everyone will handle grief / loss differently, may or may not react in the same manner and may or may not think logically when speaking about what is hurting them. More hurt was added to the hurt she is already feeling and she felt compelled to follow-up with another video reacting to the insidious and nitpicking "comments", which she really shouldn't have had to do. Going forward, please show more compassion and understanding towards Kelly and let her go through the grieving process naturally. You may even want to send Kelly a special note to apologize for bringing on additional hurt to that of what she is already feeling. Thank you.
My thoughts exactly. I knew exactly what Kelly meant. PLEASE SHOW MORE COMPASSION AND UNDERSTANDING TO KELLY. The last things she needs to hear from everyone is rude comments about how she misspoke. If you cannot support her in a loving and compassionate way then just don't say anything at all.
KELLY HAS JUST LOST HER CHILD...ONE OF HER BABIES. NO matter how old a child gets....they well forever be your baby. Compassion goes a long way,. Heart, thoughts & prayers are forever with you sweet Kelly and your two sweet, beautiful girls!!
Thank you for sharing! I am sorry Ray suffered so much with cancer. Sorry, too, you + your daughters suffered so much, watching Ray wither away. Heartbreaking what you ALL went through. God bless all of you!!! Ray is so proud of you, Kelly, for the mom you are + were to him + 😅how brave you are, with sharing your story! ❤❤❤
I’ve never seen such honesty on RU-vid. Your pain. Your honesty. Your story made me cry. You are an incredible person. This is the second episode of yours I’ve seen. God bless you and your family.
How horrible! I can’t for the life of me figure out why they didn’t sent him home from hospital with hospice care. They would have managed all his meds, with no hassles. They’re job is to make sure the patient is comfortable. I am so sorry for his suffering and your entire family. I had to watch it twice so I could write you. First I am a nurse, second he should have a a pain med pump and oxygen right out of the gate. He suffered. He shouldn’t have. Bone cancer is brutally painful. The entire thing he went through surgery in the end was torched. I am so very sorry for all the pain, the anger and suffering. Sending love and hugs.❤️🙏🏻😭
Kelly theres no words I can say to comfort you. I love you and your girls. You are in my prayers. Please dont lose faith Kelly. God bless and heal you all. ❤❤🙏🙏
Awe Kelly! What a horrible journey! I am so proud of your bravery to share your truth! You are right! This is what it is about . My mother died of cancer and my very close friend did as well! Plus I worked in Healthcare and saw sooo much! To hear a mom talk about her child's pain, your daughters' pain and your pain, is just so heart wrenching! I really hope that anybody else who is going through this, can find "validity" for lack of a better word, in their feelings and their truths! Thank you Kelly! ❤
Oh God kelly. I'm so sorry for all you the girls and especially ray went through. You held yourself so well never would have known this. My mothers heart breaks for you. Finding my son dead was bad enough but all you had to endure you truly are a strong woman and loving mother. Praying you and the girls heal. Those doggies will be a big help with that. Willow is so adorable and smart.❤🙏
Kelly you are strong I went through the same cancer and exact same surgery with my boy friend of 24 years He was diagnosed June 5 2020 Made it till Aug 24 22 I haven’t ever had anyone to talk to Thank you for being strong to tell what really happens Be strong Kelly
I’m so sorry. God Bless you for having the strength and wisdom to share. You are helping many people who may have to make hard decisions about their healthcare . Now they will be informed as to what they may endure depending on their choices.
You go girl! Far too many of those who have not had to deal with cancer and the loss of a loved one will be shocked by what you say. Those of us who have, thank you for spppeaking your truth. Cancer is a brutal disease. There are no words for the depth of the pain and suffering one will go through as cancer takes away life. Thank you for your honesty.
😭😭😭 I'm sorry you had to go through this with your son and family. I'm sure Ray was very grateful for all your love and support. Your so strong and brave Kelly. Just please remember your not alone
Kelly , I am so sorry for the suffering Ray went through, and the pain you and the girls are going through. I pray each morning that the Lord will help you and the girls during this time of grief. God Bless
RN here..when you have that level pain you are not addicted , managing the pain is trying to get your son back to himself. It does'nt but it would be inhumane to withold it. I 'm so sorry what you went thru and continue to go thru. thank you for sharing. You joined a club none of us want to be a member of. I came home one day and my 28 yr old lay dead. I saved so many in my career but not him. Just know I am praying for you and yours. I hope I have not mis spoken ,I want to help.
When I started watching your videos about Ray I didn't know at the time that months later, I would be diagnosed with a rare cancer. I have appendix cancer that has spread all throughout my abdomen. I will be have CRS with HIPEC as treatment. That is a 6 to 12 + hour surgery to try to get rid of visible cancer and then put heated chemo in the abdomen to try to kill the rest. I am sure I will not be the same after that. Hopefully I will become a better person. I am so sorry that Ray had to suffer like that and that you all had to watch it. How this will affect my family is what I think of the most. Thanks for sharing your story! Hugs and prayers for you and your family.
I had that surgery 3 years ago. Stay strong..believe in yourself! Be kind to yourself..and allow your self to heal mentally and physically. God bless you
Thank you Kelly, you and your girls are so amazing. I so admire you for what you’ve gone thru with Ray and you have handled it all with love and grace. God bless you all.
Kelly as an RN and a mom, I can’t even fathom the pain in which you’re going though. I see people die every single day and it never gets easier, but when it’s your child, it’s a whole different story! So many prayers your way from Ohio and I will hold your name up in prayer so the Lord is sure to hear it. God bless you in this ridiculously hard time.
I understand what you mean about grieving the loss of the first Ray, my son was a fun loving,carefree, rambunctious boy at 5 years old when he was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor, he was hospitalized for 3 months, and came home unable to walk, talk and eat. It was like losing him twice when he did die after a long convalescence with damage from radiation and shunt malfunctions. He was completely different after his many surgeries, but he was softer and sweeter. When he died I had and still have, so much guilt for expecting him to be like he was before, my patience wasn't what it should have been. I am so sorry for the hell you have and are going through, the pain will soften over time but I am sorry to say, it will never go away completely.
Kelly my heart goes out to you and the girls I watched my mom die from Cancer and my dad from Dementia it’s a horrible thing to watch I’m still grieving from it my dad passed September 4th and I’m still having a really hard time it’s something no one should have to go through praying for all of you ❤️
Bless your heart! You have dealt with something that very few other people have had to live with. Please know that your followers want to support you. You can lean on us without judgment. What you and your family have been through is horrific. We stand to support you.
Kelly, I welled up with tears listening to the horrific experience your son, Ray went through. As a mother myself I can’t imagine where you got the strength to be strong for your son and your girls. God bless you all. ❤
I too watched my husband essentially suffocate from respiratory failure. He was moved to ICU 2 days before he very unexpectedly coded. Despite advanced attempts to save him he passed away 10/28/23. I have never felt pain or grief such as this.
I know how you felt. I lost my husband 6 years ago from COPD. I watched him suffer from respiratory failure twice. The third time caused his heart to. stop. They tried to save him but to no avail. We were in the car when it happened. I felt my heart had been torn out. I just have keep reminding myself he is still with me, even though he is with the Lord. I knew he was ready to go. I still grieve for him at times. To see someone you love so much just getting worse is hard. To lose them is really hard, but I know he is at rest and I will see him again. I hope you are doing better. God bless you.
I’m sorry to hear this. I also lost a daughter 13 years ago, but it feels like yesterday. I never gave myself time to grieve, because I was in denial about her dying. To this day I still feel like she is coming back. Makes me sound like I’m crazy but it’s actually my way of grieving. You never truly recover from this grief, you just live your life and learn to live with it. It’s not easy but it does get easier as time passes. It’s good to talk about it. I did try a support group but that actually didn’t help. We are out here. Thousands of us, our here that understand ❤ to all of you.
I’m m so very sorry that you & the girls had to go through that. And of course Ray. I can’t even imagine as a mom to watch one of my kids go through that. You & the girls are in my thoughts and prayers 🙏🏻🙏🏻
Kelly as a mother of 3 sons I can only imagine the pain you are going thru. You are doing such an amazing job at staying strong!❤ My father passed away from congestive heart failure & we had to decide when it was time to take him off the respirator & I do know how awful it is to watch some gasp for air, something I will never forget! I wish you some peace as your days go on & strength to get through it all. 🙏
Nothing has ever made me wish I had more middle fingers than cancer. I am so sorry that all of you had to go through all of this. You may not feel like it, but you have such strength! It takes a lot of strength to get on here and tell Ray's story (and yours). Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. My heart really goes out to all of you. ❤
My heart goes out to you and your family. I'm so sorry Ray suffered so much. As a mom myself I can't imagine how hard this has been for you guys. Please take care of yourself, take all the time you need. You have a great following that will forever be here to support you guys along this journey. Sending great big hugs from Tennessee all the way to you and your family. We love y'all ❤
I am so sorry for your loss! I know that losing a child is THEE hardest thing to endure! I lost my son after 15 years of surgery after surgery and I so understand the so called pain management issue! It’s an exhausting process when it comes to the doctors! Sending hugs and prayers to you and your family!
I have worked in health care for 25 years and with Hospice care. Palliative Care is for quality of life and pain relief. I don't understand why they limited the meds. I have had both my parents Palliative and watch patients Palliative. They never limited meds, they were for patients comfort.
I just lost my son February 7th. I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know who I am. I’ve watched you long before Ray was ill. We went through the same problems with getting pain medication. The Dr ordered the medicine and the insurance company would hold it up for a week sometime and I watched my child suffer. He was 27 but he was my baby. Only another mother can truly know ….
My heart breaks for you and the girls that you had to go through the terrible ordeal of watching your child go through the pain and suffering I can't imagine how I would cope if one of my children went through what Ray went through you continue to be in my prayers
All I can say is we all love you. Just know Ray is in a better place now and is no longer in pain. He is with you in spirit, watching over you. You are so strong. Love.
Thank You Kelly for telling the truth. You will be healed. You are a strong woman and Ray is so lucky to have had you as his mom he is always with you and your daughters. Cancer can be so cruel but recall who he really was. A great human being a wonderful son and brother. Many Blessings!
My dear you are amazing. Your dogs are cute. They are helping healers. You have come across long way and are still healing. It’s good you are able to speak about your pain
