@@BeautyQueen2023X well nobody is saying we are but the point still stands. The no contact for days in the context of the video is why we are not dating men anymore. And you're weird for writing the same lame comment under every comment. Get a life.
@@SR77736You women are the ones who need to get a life instead of putting alm the blame in the man ya all women arent saints either ya all cheat and ghost as well
guys aren't hard to figure out. they are quite simple. if they like you they will do everything in their power to keep tabs with you and respond to texts. If they are not interested you will be put on the back burner. you'll be an afterthought and not a priority. so you won't hear from them until they absolutely and completely have nothing better to do. moral of the story....if they don't respond in a timely fashion, move on. don't waste your beautiful energy and spirit on someone who is not going to love and appreciate you. xo
I recently went on a couple of dates with a nice guy but he would go 1-2 days without texting/calling or he’d leave me on read. I didn’t really mind at that point but during one of our dates I mentioned something about it. He was really surprised I felt this way and he wasn’t doing it intentionally. He was really happy I communicated this with him because he simply didn’t realize it. He’s a doctor so he is very busy but even after me telling him about it he took the time out of his day to text me. He’d say hello in between surgery 😆 I thought it was very thoughtful of him. So ladies, simply speak up. Most issues can be easily fixed if you flat out say what’s bothering you. Also if an anesthesiologist can take the time out of his day to send a text then most men can, no matter how busy! Don’t accept crumbs. It’s ok to have certain expectations. If a guy truly cares then he will make necessary adjustments
I love how straightforward you were without being aggressive. I do think if your dating..there should be no expectations to call every other day or whatever. He hasn't made a commitment for relationship yet. I don't really believe in dating anymore. I court..which is intentional with the goal of marriage. I love Elliot and hope he marries. Love you brother! Praying for you.
Same with me my guy recently started to date didn't text me for 2 days I told him that and he apologized saying that he was busy (has 3 jobs) after that he has been texting everyday whenever he can 😁
I've very recently had this experience, found out when he put a picture on whatsapp as his dp and said its his aunty, then when i asked again he said its his cousin, over and above that he constantly said he wants to marry me.I'm still in shock, its a mixture of shock and hurt but mostly shock.Thats obviosly his wife in the picture with him or someone his in a serious relationship with
@@sandyM968 Sorry this happened to you. I can’t say I experienced a similar situation but seeing that photo must have been heartbreaking. I would be devastated. But at least now you know. You deserve someone who only wants to be with you
I think we all get caught up in thinking that if we understand why or say the right thing or do the right thing, we can fix things. But relationships are feelings based not logic based. Logic is more like 2+2 is 4. Feelings are far more complex and there is no magic answer. Two people truly hitting it off is more like first discovering popcorn. It’s a happy accident. You didn’t know it was going to happen but it did. Who you are clicked with what he finds highly attractive- looks, voice, intelligence, humor, personality etc... His not trying is his way of saying he’s not feeling it. It’s not clicking.
The guy I was talking to (emphasis on was) reached out me in the beginning when I waited two days to reach out to him after he texted me. He called me up and asked me why I hadn't talked to him and when I told him that I didn't want to bug him too much so I was going to hit him up in a day or two, he specifically requested that I reach out to him more. As our situation got complicated, he stopped texting frequently to the point that he would be silent for a couple of days and then it became kind of like a game as to who would text who first. I stopped worrying about it because if he wanted to reach me he knew how and I made a point of telling him that when he would get in touch with me again. We're no longer seeing each other but we're still friends and now it doesn't bother me if he reaches out to me or not. I've moved on with my life.
This was helpful, because I been single for 5 months and just started putting myself out there, lol I swear, everyone starts out so interested before and during and then slows down the texting, lol I’m a busy person but when I’m interested, I put in the effort.
One thing I love about your videos is your brutal honesty. It might not be what a lot of people want to hear, but it's definitely what I needed to hear in the past. I'm now in a very happy almost 2 year relationship, and I couldn't have done it without your advice. Never change, and please keep posting
I had a guy ignore/freeze me out after an argument. And after day 5, I already had a date lined up for that following weekend. I don't put up with that type of behavior. Adults communicate, and if they need space, it shouldn't take a week. I didn't sign up solitary confinement. Boy Bye!
@@HisaLight2mypathSame especially bc a safe precious connection is rare via online dating. When I finally fall for a msn its bc of his face, voice and we had nice conversations. I find it hard to grasp how people can kiss and hug you multiple times but not miss you. It was intimate, not sex. I'm still confused.
I had a guy for two years act just like a boyfriend would. never went a day without contacting me. As soon as we hung out he's making plans for the next date. holding hands, planning expensive dates, opening doors for me, etc.. Two months ago something was telling me to check if his profile was down on the site we met on. It wasn't! in all fairness it showed he wasn't on in a while. I asked him if he took his profiles down and he said "I'm sure I have one up but I don't go on much it's getting old"....I said "oh okay well when you decide to be exclusive let me know" he said "okay I understand"!!!!!!!! blew my mind away. I'm not disappointed I spent all that time with him, I did benefit from the relationship (great sex) but I just was sad because I knew at that moment if I continued to see him I would be disrespecting myself. Later he clarified that he enjoyed spending time with me but he didn't want to lie and say he wanted to be exclusive...LOL you think he would have mentioned that in our two years of dating. Oh well...next...
How can 2 years not be exclusive? Honestly what is wrong with guys these days. Back in the 90s if you wrte dating and sleeping with a guy you were exclusive. Not convo necessary.
@@sjgbrighton I know. Well back on the 90s they did it on the DL. This guy is a lawyer and can't tell a lie. The strange part is he's not even getting sex elsewhere. I'm a very nice looking woman and hes short and below average looking man...like he can get women but he's not getting my caliber looks and class wise. Whatever some guys have to learn the hard way.
@@Jennifer-di4nlBabe some guys are insecure around a beautiful woman like yourself, and since he could pull you he might think he can get another one like you. Hes immature but be honest with yourself, were you acting clingy and needy? Where you too focused on him or did you live a happy life outside of this relationship? We must treat all men the same, never let him believe he has you 100% and that you could never leave him.
You are so f*ckin' right. Damn. Your message really made it easier to move on...which has taken a very long and brutal two years. Thank you for being honest.
My guy suddenly did this after being with me for 4 years. Actually the relationship became rocky after his dad died in December last year. And he tells me that he has other stressors. We do meet occasionally and he tells me he loves me randomly. But the contact has decreased.
How much each of you give and how little each of you take for granted, will determine the success of a relationship. 💙RU-vidr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships
You've said in the past that it's normal for a guy to go a day or 2 or even 3 without talking to you. How many days are you talking about in this video? And does it count if you didn't reach out to him either or only if you did reach out and it takes him days to reply?
He says different things in every video 😂. Sometimes three days without a respond is called breadcrumbing and too much, in others he says as long as its not over four days. I don't think he knows himself
Am I the only person who with an avoidant attachment style gets annoyed a little if a guy talks to me much, I feel bad a little about having a hyper independent complex
I think if you truly fall for a man by his looks manners, mind and energy you won't feel pushed or violated in your personal space..the right person will give you balance. Not to much and not to little I too shut down when a guy texts me a little to much from the start but it depends on his communication style, vibe and attitude. If I find him attractive in how he talks and he is laid back, I don't feel intruded.
What about if the guys doesn’t think the girl likes him back? This just happened to me with my neighbor. I’m shy around guys that I like and push them away for some reason. I think because I’ve been hurt in the past. I kind of pushed him away when he tried to kiss me. I thought he’d realize I was kidding and that he’d try to kiss me again but he didn’t. This was a year and a half ago. We still hang out and have gone on over 100 walks. Not exaggerating either. He hasn’t tried anything in a year and a half now but he walks super close to me. The other neighbors that we were dating because of how we walked together. We’re always joking with each other and smiling big. He’s also always here for me. I finally tried to explain last week that I like him and that I pushed him away because I got scared but he, either didn’t understand or he’s over me.
If I sense it isn’t going anywhere on either one of our ends I just put the ixnay on it. I’d rather be alone then waste my time on something that doesn’t have a snowballs chance in hell? Maybe that’s just me?
Hey Elliot. Does a man think differently when he's really really good looking. I think I'm a strong 7 good 8 when im trying so it's not that I lack confidence in myself but the dudes like a 12 out of 10 on looks. Do I approach this the same as I would every other guy or do looks change a man's approach to dating
Yes looks change the picture. If a dude is super hot then these guys almost always are highly polygamous and they're players. Also try not to fawn over the guys looks because they're used to girls doing this and chasing after them. So don't chase after the guy.
i met this guy at work and we had went out like 2 times and the 3 time we hung out he was leaning towards a kiss. what does that mean. in feel like its too soon.
Or you know we are too old to Chase cars. This dog doesn't hunt. If you wanna associate that is fine but I have a life that I'm quite content in living on my own. Why should I add that extra drama Of chasing After Somebody?
Didn't talk to me for several days and when I confronted him he said why should I be the one who always text? Even tho I do text him and I did last time, like wtf? (Left him btw lol)
I’m glad you left. That’s classic manipulation- he flipped it on you, hoping to make you defend yourself so that he wouldn’t have to explain himself. That’s a big sign to move on.
Does lack of attraction mean physical attraction? Could a guy be entertaining a woman who he doesn’t think is hot? That’s my biggest fear that I’ve dated men who don’t think I’m a dime.
No. If it was that, he wouldn’t have approached you. It just means that whatever does it for him, he isn’t seeing in you. Maybe he likes loud dominant women and you’re soft and forgiving. Maybe he likes outdoors and you like Netflix and chill. It just means that you two didn’t click in a way that reached his heart for whatever reason.
@@Mayfloweralways okay. It’s happened with men who I’ve approached too. My male coworker told me that he will hook up with women who he doesn’t think is pretty, because sex is sex.
Haven't heard from the guy I’ve been talking to since Xmas day in 2 days now. He did tell me that during the weekend he'd be busy moving so. Maybe that's the case still? Idk if I should just give up?
Either they have a side chick or some other problems. (or they don't understand how to create and upkeep social relations, OR don't want to!) If they are not interested, then why not say it.
@@laurajoy1180 No different than if you were deciding to buy a house (if you can’t afford to give it (whatever ‘it’ may be) your time, money, soul then, you just don’t do it!😉
if he did replied back to me but a few hours later, and i didn’t reply back - am i the one ignoring him? but he didn’t reach out to me during the 5 days too
I recently started dating a guy. It's going on 2 months. He has been extremely consisted and putting forth a lot of effort. However, I am a single mom. And another serious factor, we have a significant age gap. Keep in mind, things have still been really good. Anyway, after having a serious talk about our future (suggested by him to have this talk btw) we agreed we probably won't work out in the long run. After that conversation, I didn't hear from him for 3 days. I didn't reach out because I thought we were "over". Then he calls (on facetime) saying he misses me and he doesn't want to stop seeing me. Needless, to say it was a very nice surprise. We may or may not work out but not all space is bad. :)
We text every 2 3 days he replies everytime or makes convo but if he does there's nothing from him no questions no trying to carry it keeps saying meet then on the day let's me down met once this year he said how it took him a lot out his comfort zone he has anxiety but the excuses every meet up is a joke now I'm like why arrange it then let me down some are even like I'm tired now
... or he has an avoidant attachment style and after an intense and close moment, he gets scared and need a bit of time to work on his fear and come back. You just need to give him a bit of space, and when he comes back, don't pressure to go on fast mode again.
I used to make guys do 90% of the initiating and I started learning they thought I wasn’t interested and would stop initiating. I learned I need to initiate 40% of the time if I don’t want to send the wrong message.
@AD-hh6dd they should be doing at least 80%. My experience has been if they're not and I have to reach out after days, it doesn't usually have a good outcome.
@@stefanieleavitt522480% most self respecting guys leave unless they’re simps. I’m currently in a relationship with a guy that wouldn’t commit and it wasn’t until I started reciprocating more and knocked off the petty games like that when he committed. Sometimes we women blame men and fail to realize our part. He and I are doing great. It’s not like me stepping up made him do less. Quite the opposite: once I stepped up, he stepped up even more.
The real question..do men forgive period lol...if you hurt them in anyway regardless of cheating or making the wrong comment...they seem to stay hurt for the rest of their life
If he wants to chat me, he can find me. So if he doesnt. Im busy with my life. Make it 8 days of not hearing from you.... i will interpret it's over. Who knows what is the reason. Dont make me wait for too long. I will move on by 8th day lol 😂
Totally Disagree. Let’s be honest you haven’t been with enough women to give this advice Orrrrrr. He’s busy actually making an empire. Orrrr he wants to see if she’s crazy/ clinger etc. ladies just text him hi handsome that’s it
I don’t agree with this at all. There is nothing more unattractive than a guy in your face 24/7, it’s needy and lame. I don’t want my guy to call me every day and vice versa. We have a life of our own and other things to do. If he doesn’t call for days it means he has a life and thank god for that!
I agree but there's guys who lose interest and they don't reply to texts at all or phone calls. This is ghosting. They just disappear. Then there's bread crumbing = a little bit of contact to keep you hanging on. Sometimes we all get busy but when you're dating you have to make the effort to communicate. Not 24/7 but at least every few days. But not all is a red flag.
I disagree. If you talk to your bf every day it doesn’t mean you don’t have your own lives. Imagine being married. Unless you live in a mansion chances are you’ll be talking/seeing each other all day every day (or a large portion of the day/night) and during Covid many couples worked from home 24/7. A committed monogamous relationship is kind of in preparation to marriage, at least for me that’s the goal. There may be some couples who don’t want to get married at all which is fine but I think the vast majority of women do. I can’t imagine not talking every day, even for just 30 minutes to check in (maybe 15 in the morning and 15 at night) It doesn’t take that much time and effort but it means a lot. It builds and maintains intimacy. A short phone call is a small gesture but it can mean so much. But I think there’s no right or wrong way to go about it as long as both sides agree. If for example the gf wants to talk daily but her bf doesn’t then you can have a big problem. Different desires and expectations. So as long as both parties agree then it’s fine. Not talking for days simply wouldn’t work for me I need more contact
